Shots in the Dark
by Driver Jim Ohki
Summary: A collection of works that I've either lost interest in, or in their original format as I retool them. Contains: HP, Ranma, Naruto and others to be added as I go through my Archive. Included within are fics that have not seen the light of day in years. Ignore all of the author's notes, as they are out of date.
1. Power He Knows Not

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

_**Expanded Summary**_: The Potter's have kept a secret from the world for millennia. They are far older than anybody knows, and hold the last wishes of their ancestor dating back to the Pangaea Super-Continent . . . Naruto Uzumaki.

_**Keywords**_: Naruto; Fusion; Crossover Elements; Multi/Harem; Bashing; Powerful; Grey/Semi-Dark; Lemon trees

_**Notes**_: Until the plot leaves canon behind, there will be time skips and general overviews of events. I'm not about to rehash something that is quite well known nor bore my readers with tedious filler.

**The Power He Knows Not** by (Driver) Jim Ohki

_**The back-story**_:

_Untold millennia ago, the last _Jinchuuriki_ hatched a plan to make the world forget about the Bijuu and ensure his tenant wouldn't get the chance to rampage. Surprisingly, the massive yet indefinable Juubi agreed with her host -with stipulations, naturally._

_First and foremost, each future host had to be cordial to the living disaster if they woke her. That was a given, but due to humanity and their need to be in control at all times had to be said._

_Secondly, thanks in part to the presence of the beast extending life-spans, each container would be trained by the last to wield her awesome powers. Being a Shinobi didn't matter in the long run; what counted was the ability to maintain themselves if they should ever draw on her power._

_Finally, nobody but the hosts could know of her presence. She felt that the time had arrived for her to sleep. Humanity was on track to keeping evil in check themselves and didn't need a reminder anymore._

_The battle-weary man agreed wholeheartedly, before contemplating who he could trust the most with his guest. As much distaste as it brought him, he waited for his newest grandson -with many Greats attached- to be born. On that day, he whisked the child away for a couple hours under a flimsy pretext to perform the transference._

_Ten years later, as he felt the end of his life approaching, he informed then trained said child for a half-decade. He instilled into the child's mind that nobody should know about the slumbering beast. A secondary task was that he, in time, would select his successor and repeat the cycle._

_Naruto Namikaze-Uzumaki finally died at the age of eight hundred fifty-two, surrounded by his extensive family. His last words in the realm of the living were:_

"_Kaa-san, Tou-san, Hinata-chan . . . I'm home."_

_So it went, bi-generationally, that the Juubi no Ookami was guarded insuring her slumber. When the Super-Continent broke apart due to a massive earthquake the host at the time went into a hibernation-state, awaiting the rebirth of humanity._

_The way of the Shinobi -as it had been known- was long lost when humans began to populate the world again. With no manner of consciously accessing their Chakra, only those that had severe emotional outbursts demonstrated unusual powers. Without knowing the history of what they were experimenting with the people of the time dubbed the power Magic._

_The descendant of Naruto adapted to the strange world he found himself in when he emerged from his slumber. Being raised in the true Old World, he had far better control of his power than anybody else before him. As he watched from the shadows new and unusual creatures began to appear. He observed the people of the time messing with power well beyond their ability to comprehend. When one stumbled across the method of 'focusing' the output through a piece of wood with a tiny bit of a creature he scoffed, for it was a shortcut over doing demanding training._

_Humanity, having restarted, had gone straight back into their power-mongering ways._

_Still, learn to fit in he did. In what seemed like no time he had adapted to the language of the time and had a family of his own. The cycle of moving his tenant began again._

_Eventually, the descendants would be known as the Potter Family._

_The cycle had been unbroken for so many generations that the count had been lost. Charlus Potter was the previous host before transferring the beast into his only grandson -Harry James Potter._

_The difference this time was the madman insisting on being called Lord Voldemort. When he plotted the death of the 'Prophesized Child' he figured he would do as he'd done to many of his victims._

_By wiping out their entire family._

_One hour before arriving in Godric's Hollow he had surprised Charlus and Dorea Potter at home, having used Wormtail as bait to get the door opened. The pair had put up a bit of a fight, but they were caught flatfooted when he bum-rushed the couple._

_The Cycle was broken._

_**June 24, 1995; 2030; Little Hangleton Graveyard**_

"DO NOTHING!" the recently reborn Dark Lord bellowed to be heard, "HE IS MINE!"

Harry barely understood the words coming out of his adversary's mouth. His focus was on the connection between them; more specifically the bulge that represented where their magic met. He didn't want that bubble coming any closer and was using every ounce of willpower he had to force it away from himself. Digging deep, he pushed every ounce of power he could muster into the connection.

Young Potter reached _too_ deep.

Only he heard what sounded like cracking glass before the densest magic he had ever felt flowed down his arms and out his wand. The sphere that had almost reached him was pushed back quite significantly in the direction of his nemesis. Seizing the opportunity, he commanded it to keep going.

Looking into the eyes of the man born as Tom Riddle revealed that the reborn Dark Lord felt fear. The younger combatant smirked, giving one final shove and forcing the elder's magic to submit as the bulge disappeared into his yew wand.

Both were surprised as echoes of the dead started crawling out of said foci. First was Cedric, being the most recent victim. Then the old man, Frank Bryce. The next two firmed the boy's resolve and hatred for his enemy, sending another pulse of the ultra-dense magic down the connection to slam into Voldemort.

James and Lily Potter, or at least the shades of their souls, hovered on either side of their only child. Neither had time to speak when yet another pair of apparitions emerged. These two, Harry had only seen once when he looked into the Mirror of Erised. The already intense feelings of anger grew exponentially as he beheld the echoes of his paternal grandparents.

Voldemort was just as surprised as his watching Death Eaters as three generations of Potter were -in a way- standing against him. He tried to break the connection but found that he couldn't move nor could he speak. The magic flowing through his veins did not respond to his desires in the least, causing his eyes to widen in shock.

"Harry," Charlus greeted, even if his voice was hard due to his glaring at the man that had killed him. "All you need to do is get the Portkey and flee. You two," his gaze shifted over to Cedric and Frank, "are more than enough of a distraction to allow my grandson the chance. We," he gestured to himself, Dorea, James and Lily, "are going to hitch a ride in Harry's mindscape."

The way he had issued orders brooked no argument from anybody. Even though he knew they wouldn't be able to exist in the outside world again, having this chance to raise his only living family was too tempting to pass up. Plus, he had to find a way to tell the boy about his tenant and train him before he managed to wake the beast up.

"Break the connection on three," Cedric began, hovering into position. On his other side, old man Bryce copied him even though he had no understanding of the current goings-on.

For the briefest of moments, Harry didn't know what to do or what to believe. The hatred that he could never hold on to had given way to shock, longing and more than a touch of depression. When he heard his grandfather announce the intention to possess a piece of his mind he wanted to panic but was instead feeling elated.

For the first time in his living memory he was going to have _something_ of his family that he _wanted_.

Having heard Cedric say three, he sent forth another burst of the dense magic he could feel before yanking his wand upwards. Instead of watching, he was in motion for Diggory's body for there was no way he was going to leave it behind. At the same time, he had aimed at the TriWizard cup and summoned it while feeling four different echoes enter his mind. Had he paid attention, not only would he have seen the two less-than-ghosts collide with Voldemort, he would have been witness to the reborn man taking involuntary flight from his wand exploding with tremendous force.

The Cup arrived at the same time he got a grip on the torn shirt of Cedric, whisking the pair away as the Death Eaters finally overcame their shock at seeing a fourteen year old hold his own against their Lord before besting him in magical combat.

As the world became a wash of colors, Harry heard the roar of rage he'd left behind.

_**July 1, 1995, 2145; Number Four, Privet Drive**_

The rest of the school year was not a fun place to be. He'd told Dumbledore once about Voldemort, before going into shock from his latest brush with death. When he was released from the Hospital Wing he found disbelief and derision wherever he went. Hermione was the only one talking to him at that point, for even Ron wasn't buying what he was selling.

To avoid confrontation he'd not said another word about the end of the Third Task, letting the student body do as they would anyway. Instead he was found more often than not in the Library, pouring over books and soaking up their knowledge like a sponge.

The train ride back to London was a quiet affair, with only Hermione as company. She wouldn't answer his question about writing over the summer, giving him a bad feeling. Although the way they parted, with her kissing his cheek, gave him hope that all was not lost.

He had yet to be contacted by any of his passengers, although he had no idea what to expect in that regard. He knew they were up to something as old memories would surface for no reason before being played like a recording. Paused, reversed, paused again, fast forwarded, slow motion . . . the works. The one time he'd seen a telestrator in action had given them a new toy to use as certain things would suddenly be circled in yellow or an arrow would point at something else.

It was distracting, yet at the same time a help because of the things he had missed the first time. Everything was reviewed, from the drudged up memories thanks in part to a Dementor, his life at the Dursley's to his first four years at Hogwarts. Everything was scrutinized to the point he could recall it all in clarity now.

Harry was, once again, locked in his "room" at his Aunt's house. Nobody had ever asked but he hadn't considered the place home since he understood the concept when he was seven. Hedwig was sleeping in her doubly-locked cage, which was pointless when one considered the bars reinstalled on the window. He had taken a moment to send his thoughts to Cedric before pulling out every book he had.

He wasn't certain if he was imagining things, but he could have sworn he had felt four different sets of disappointment at his academic performance. Knowing that he hadn't tried his hardest, he decided to go back and relearn everything from the start. The vague sense of approval appeared before all of the emotions that weren't his faded.

Now as the time approached ten he felt like going to bed. He had no way of knowing it at the time, but his desire to do better -and a handy distraction from the recent happenings- would prevent all sorts of hassle with the Ministry.

At the cost of his Cousin.

_**July 30; 2315**_

Harry awoke with a start from the sounds of a crash downstairs. A look at the battered digital clock revealed the time to be after eleven. Far too late in the day for his "relatives" to be up and about. Pulling his wand from under his pillow, he quietly slipped off of his bed before ducking beside the wardrobe. He had heard the grunt outside his door before it swung open and a young woman with pink hair stumbled inside.

"Wake up-!" she didn't get far as she tripped on nothing, face-planting into the empty bed.

"Where is he?" demanded a quiet voice he recognized, even as the sounds of sniffing reached his ears. "He's still here, that much I can say."

"So after a month of nothing," Harry announced his presence, wand aimed between Remus Lupin's eyes, "from _anybody_ you dare invade my . . . residence?"

Moony paused mid-back-step, taking in the fierce look on the boy's face. In that moment, he felt like he was dealing with Charlus Potter again after doing something completely stupid.

"Be silent lad," Alastor Moody rumbled, shuffling into the room so as not to make a racket. "We're here to move you after those Dementors came close to here."

"What Dementors?" the wand moved to between the older man's eyes. "I haven't stepped foot outside since I got here. Haven't had reason to either. Not like anybody would give a shite if I did . . . anything, really."

"Harry-," Lupin tried to placate the last Potter, only to get the wand aimed back at his person. "Your friends are worried-"

"Apparently I haven't got any of those," the raven haired youth interrupted, scowl increasing tenfold. "Not a peep from any of them. Ron I had written off as a lost cause after the end of the Tournament but Hermione . . . no, I haven't got _friends_."

"As Senior Auror," began the tall, dark-skinned guy that had up to that point been silent on a different tangent, "I must regretfully inform you of the Dementor's Kiss being used without authorization on one Dudley Dursley two nights ago. His body was found out near an abandoned park, not far from here. For your protection, you are to be moved to an undisclosed location."

"Need your weapon again then?" the scowl morphed into a sneer that would make Snape envious. "You lot work for Dumbledore then? Right, of course you do. You can tell that goat-buggering piece of shite ass hat to go suck Voldemort's cock."

"Ah jeez," the pink haired woman had risen, blushing up a storm at the language flowing from their charge's mouth.

"Now get out, I want to go back to sleep," Harry finished his diatribe, lambasting everybody to the ninth level of Hell and back. Instead of compliance, he found the four -including another quiet woman that he had just noticed- gawking at him like they had never heard somebody go berserk with how they really felt.

He scowled again when Pinky waved her wand, packing his stuff. Fine then, they want to play this game he'll just rip new assholes in person versus the third party method.

_Bloody brooms as the transport method_, he mentally grumbled twenty minutes later at the stroke of midnight. Why they had to go from Little Whinging to . . . wherever they were going by brooms of all things completely eluded his mind. He had thought that Magicals as a whole were daft; this just proved it completely. The flight itself did wonders for his mood, as there was nothing as liberating as zooming through the air at maximum speed. His erratic, high speed flight earned him more than a few shouts that he promptly ignored.

Being an annoyance was fun!

All good things come to an end though, as the group dropped into a park that had seen better days. In fact, the entire neighborhood looked like it could use some Tender Loving Care from the city.

"Memorize this," Moody growled, thrusting a piece of parchment in Harry's face. The old Auror was quite annoyed with the boy, although he did give a mental tip of the hat to his flight pattern. He knew when his demand was completed for the boy let his eyebrows climb as Headquarters shoved itself back into reality.

Harry wasted no time with questions that he knew wouldn't be answered, instead setting his broom on his right shoulder and marching up to the front door like he owned the place. Now that he had calmed down a bit, he could focus on the fact that the depth of the anger he felt wasn't his own. Strangely, it wasn't coming from Voldemort either as far as he could tell.

He was well aware of the fact that he and his nemesis were connected. How, he had no clue about. All that mattered was that extreme emotion broadcast by the Dark Lord he picked up like a television, giving him insight as to what Voldemort was up to. For the past five weeks it had been rage and pain, for their battle had deeply wounded the man. The anger stemmed from being owned by a fourteen year old boy.

Remus Lupin opened the door to Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place with trepidation. He could tell that the right setting would set young Potter off again and believed that he was leading the boy straight into that setting.

Harry felt his anger -this time at least, he thought it was his- evaporate the moment he spotted Sirius Black. The man was sitting at what appeared to be the dining room table, quietly conversing with Arthur Weasley. When he looked up, his haunted eyes lit up with delight that his godson was in the house.

Then Molly Weasley popped up from nowhere, blocking all line of sight into the other room. That wouldn't be so bad, if she didn't immediately break out the patronizing attitude.

"Harry dear, you must be tired. Head upstairs; second floor third door on the left and go to bed. There'll be plenty of time to talk in the morning."

The way she said it and her posture, all screaming "I'm in charge here" reignited his temper. Damn cow, bossing him around like she had any _right_ to. She was not his mother, to which he had to send a thank you to genetics. He could admit that his mum, even after he was born, was a right hottie. Molly Weasley, on the other hand, appeared to be a head, tits then belly with arms and legs. If he was subjected to that bosom one more time, he swore he would reach up and pinch her nipples as hard as he could then twist for all he was worth.

"Go on Harry," Remus tried to sound jovial, instead looking worried that he was sending the Alpha of Alphas into the Lion's Den. Something about the boy had changed since the last time he had seen him that screamed to Moony _'Don't fuck with me_'. "We'll talk in the morning."

"It _is_ the morning," was the witty retort, before shaking his head and heading up the stairs. Not like he had a choice, what with the roadblock that was the Weasley matriarch in his path pointing up said stairs.

Harry was in for a surprise when he opened the door to the indicated room. Inside, he found Ron and Hermione waiting for him. For the briefest of moments their faces lit up at seeing him. When his contorted into the angriest expression either had ever seen theirs turned into looks of fear.

Harry Potter, it was discovered the year previous, got intense when he was angry. From all appearances he was about to demonstrate his mother's temper for the first time, magnifying the intensity by a factor of eight.

Downstairs, the door to the dining room had just shut behind Albus Dumbledore when a raised voice could be heard from two floors up.

"_THIS. IS. BULLSHIT!_" roared Harry, shaking the entire house, _"NOT ONE FUCKING WORD FOR A GODDAMN MONTH AND YOU TWO EXPECT TO BE ALL CHUMMY WITH ME?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! DID THAT GOAT FUCKING ASS WIPE DILDO OF A HEADMASTER PUT YOU UP TO THIS?! ANSWER ME DAMN IT!"_

"Ah crap," Tonks winced, her hair turning brown and mousy signaling that she was wanting to hide somewhere.

"_I DON'T BUY THAT EXCUSE FROM YOU, WEASLEY!" _his voice continued to thunder, overriding the shouting now coming from Walburga Black's portrait. _"YOU RAN AWAY _AGAIN_ WHEN IT WAS REVEALED BY THAT BEARDED ASS SNIFFING PIECE OF SHITE THAT I SAID VOLDEMORT WAS BACK! YOU FLED LIKE A FUCKING COWARD, AS USUAL! NO I WILL NOT STOP SAYING THE NAME! VOLDEMORT-VOLDEMORT-VOLDEMORT! GO SUCK ON YOUR MUM'S TIT YOU BIG BABY!_" He switched targets without pause. "_DAMN IT HERMIONE, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH _YOU_?! I COULD HAVE REALLY USED SOMEBODY TO TALK TO THIS PAST MONTH! NO, LET THE BOY GRIEVE WITHOUT A WAY TO TALK TO ANYBODY ABOUT HOW HE FEELS! I WATCHED THAT FUCKING RAT WORMTAIL KILL CEDRIC! THEN I FOUGHT A REBORN VOLDEMORT _AGAIN_ AND BARELY GOT AWAY WITH MY LIFE! THAT WAS AFTER BEING TORTURED!"_

"Perhaps, leaving him alone wasn't a good idea," Dumbledore speculated, stroking his beard as he thought. It was obvious that Harry had some pent up anger that he was releasing, even if it was disrupting the meeting they were supposed to be having. Strangely, Severus appeared to be delighted in hearing the temper of Lily Evans again.

"_JESUS CHRIST ON A BIKE! LET'S SEE EITHER OF YOU TAKE VOLDEMORT'S _CRUCIATUS_ HALF A DOZEN TIMES WHILE FIGHTING OFF HIS _IMPERIUS_! THROW IN BLOCKING HIS _AVADA KEDAVRA_ WITH A FUCKING _EXPELLIARMUS_ OF ALL THINGS! YES YOU DIMWITS, HE THREW THE ENTIRE SET OF UNFORGIVABLES AT ME!_"

Silence fell for a bit before his voice started up again, seemingly louder than it had been previously.

"_ALBUS COCK SUCKING ASS WIPE MOTHER FUCKING DUMBLEDORE TOLD YOU WHAT?! WHERE IS THE BEARDED ONE?! I HAVE A THING OR THREE TO SAY TO THAT DUMBASS SON OF A BITCH!_"

The sounds of many feet hitting the stairs on their way down drifted into the dining room, all eyes on the door. The noise the Weasley's and Hermione was making restarted the portrait in the hall.

"_SHUT THE FUCK UP!_" Harry's voice sounded from right outside the door, before two muffled thumps were heard. Silence descended for a moment before a new voice entered the fray.

"Mistress?!" Kreacher sounded like somebody had killed his . . . wait, that's probably what just happened. "Mistress, speak to Kreacher! Mistress!"

"_OUT OF THE WAY!_" was the last warning those in the dining room had to Harry's arrival before the door detonated like a fragmentation grenade. The elf that had just been blocking said way sailed across the room, crashing into Mundungus Fletcher who was for once minding his own business.

"You . . .," the tone had no place in the now fifteen year old boy. He had spotted Dumbledore straight away, glare set to maximum causing the old crowd to suck in their breath. He had not only the look of Lily Potter down, but it was mixed with the effectiveness of Charlus and Dorea for those that had known James' parents.

Charlus was feared for a reason. Whatever it was that gave the Potter's as a whole their charisma and power was doubly effective in every other generation. When somebody did something to earn the ire of a Potter, the whole world knew about it for they made their displeasure known.

Usually by massive amounts of property destruction.

To the observers, they took note of the young Miss Granger clinging to the boy's back like a koala bear. Her arms were tightly around his shoulders while her legs had gone around his waist. Her mouth could be seen moving, but whatever she was saying directly into Harry's left ear was at such a volume that nobody else could hear it.

Said young man stopped moving, his breathing harsh as he tried to reel in his temper. It was an ongoing problem since the Battle of the Graveyard, this anger that was amplified exponentially. Since he could distinguish the difference between his own feelings and Voldemort's, he knew that his nemesis wasn't the cause. While nearly drowned out, his worry that his usual mild annoyance at his life being turned into such aggressiveness still made itself known.

It did not hurt in the least that Hermione had admitted to being outright terrified of him in this state. Angry he may be, but that was no excuse to open fire like a Howitzer at point blank range.

He seemed to realize where she was as his hands shot behind him, unintentionally grabbing her bum to hold her up. She gave a soft _'Ooh'_ is surprise at the sudden contact, and another when he squeezed before jiggling her as a hint that she could climb down now.

"Right, sorry about the portrait," he grumbled at length after his best friend detached herself from his person. He deftly ignored the snort of approval from Sirius to continue. "I've had enough of not getting a say in _my_ life. So much for that hellhole prison I'm stuffed in every summer being _safe_. Dementors? Really? Not that the world is any poorer with the loss of Dudley, the cretin."

"Speaking of," Dumbledore interrupted, planning on laying out a guilt trip, "why did you not defend him?"

"I didn't realize your head was so far up your arse as to tickle your tonsils," the youth rejoined, before elaborating. "Certainly the douche that smells of socks and tobacco told you that since I got to that place I hadn't ventured outdoors _at all_. How in the name of Mordred am I _supposed_ to know he was being attacked when I avoided him completely?"

"I do have a problem," he continued after a moment, not wanting anybody to start in on him for his words. "I can say with certainty that the level of my anger is not my doing. No, it's not," he traced his scar, telling those in the know that it wasn't who they feared, "this. As it is however, I have no idea why my annoyance was amplified to the point of verbally shredding people into tiny pieces. Frankly, it's driving me barmy trying to figure it out."

"Unfortunately," Dumbledore found his voice again, while making it a point to look at Hermione, "it will have to wait until tomorrow. This meeting is not for children such as yourselves."

"Sure," Harry snarked, "don't tell the guy who's butted heads with Riddle more times than anybody but you what's going on. It's not like I have many reasons to fight him after all."

Before any of the surprised adults could say anything, he turned on his heel and marched out the door frame. He paused to look over his left shoulder at Sirius.

"Sorry 'bout the mess."

With that he was gone, Hermione giving chase. While his anger scared her something fierce, she was not about to let her best friend stew any longer. She didn't understand it herself yet, but the tirade he had gone on had caused her some physical discomfort due to her knickers dampening.

It was food for thought, this new assertive Harry Potter.

Ron Weasley dove for cover when Harry marched by, a snarl gracing his lips. He knew he had made an error -_again!_- and was stumped in how to fix it. The Twins had asked him more than once if his foot tasted better with a light butter sauce. The part that bugged the youngest Weasley male was that he was starting to think the answer was yes. He couldn't help how he felt though, as watching Harry reappear from nowhere with the dead body of Cedric Diggory had been unnerving.

When the Headmaster opened his mouth at the memorial about the Dark Lord, the ginger had found it impossible to believe. The man that the populace feared to even name was their boogie man after all. Conveniently none had figured out that sticking their head in the sand would _not_ make the problem go away.

Twice in the same year he had turned his back on Harry, only this time it appeared that the raven haired boy was not going to be forgiving.

The rest of the Weasley brood present in the dingy old house cleared the way as Harry came through, trailing Hermione in his wake. His previous shouting had given just enough of a clue to the lot of them that he wasn't in a jovial mood. Even Fred and George knew better than to try their usual routine at that time, something thought to be impossible.

"Can I help you?" Harry drawled as he walked into his room, his female friend all of two steps behind him. He knew she was too close and thus didn't even bother trying to slam the door in her face. Mad at her he may be, wanting to hurt her he was not.

His simple question sent her into a twenty minute dissertation on why she was sorry. While annoying at first, he could detect her intentions and gave her the benefit of the doubt. Once she stopped, he gave her a scrutinizing look before declaring:

"Got my homework done; how about you?"

_**June 5, 1996; 2330; Hogwarts Hospital Wing**_

The school year had not been easy for Harry or anybody considered close to him. Most of the difficulty came from Dolores Umbridge being her bigoted self.

The Ministry for Magic had lost what was left of their minds, having appointed the Pink Lady as Defense Professor when she had no clue what she was doing. It had taken all of a month for Harry to get fed up with the woman -a term used loosely.

As a way to focus and hold his temper, he agreed without much fuss to run what many had come to call the true Defense Against the Dark Arts class. He had even made friends in other Houses at Hogwarts, mostly girls. The boys seemed to be put off by something yet none could identify it, leading to a stalemate of sorts.

Then Voldemort reminded the boy that yes, he was in a body again. It was after the debacle just before Christmas, when Harry felt like he had become Nagini. This time, it was like a third party viewing of events as the reborn Dark Lord tortured various people not in the school in an attempt to 'find' Potter's secrets.

Always, it was in the same place. A room full of rows of shelves holding glowing spheres. One row in particular stood out, ninety-seven.

Somewhere along the line, the Dark Wanker had caught onto Sirius being an important part of his life. He wasn't certain how that came about, other than the resident Death Eater known as Snape being his usual vindictive self. It was the only thing that made sense in regards as to why Harry's godfather was suddenly a recurring guest in the torture visions.

At first, since the 'visions' were obviously faked this time around as compared to Christmas young Potter had ignored them. Some were even very creative, to which he would admit to nobody. It was when they had gone back to the First Person view that he felt they were more than they seemed.

Harry had tried various methods to get in touch with Sirius, at least those not monitored by the Ministry and their attack dog Umbridge. The one thing he hadn't tried was the old Two-way Mirror sitting in the bottom of his trunk, for the stresses of the year had pushed it out of his mind.

The last insight into the mind of Voldemort had spurred Harry into action, genuinely fearing for his godfather's life. In his desperation, he tried the Floo and learned from Kreacher that Padfoot had gone out some time ago. Naturally, he got caught.

The escape from Umbridge was not without creativity and a herd of angered Centaurs. Seeing the Pink Menace being hauled off like so much rubbish brightened his whole day.

Letting his closest female friends talk themselves into following him to the Department of Mysteries was a bad idea in hindsight. Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Susan Bones, Daphne Greengrass and the ultimate surprise in Pansy Parkinson absconded from the school via Thestral for London.

The moment the trap was sprung, as he gazed at the sphere on the shelf in row ninety-seven with his name on it, he knew he'd been had. His eyes swept around the suddenly crowded area, taking in the Heavy Assault Team/Inner Circle sneering at them all. From the way Lucius was openly scowling at Pansy he knew that for whatever reason she had broken away from the Malfoy clique. He had never bothered to look the gift horse in the mouth when the various girls began flocking around his person.

The fight, twelve on six, tore the entire DoM into pieces. Not a room was spared as both sides engaged in combat not seen since the Grindelwald Era. Had any outside observer been present, they would have sat up to take notice that six school children were at least holding their own against some of the best Voldemort had. The Assault Team was just as surprised that they weren't making much headway in the battle until both sides were in the Veil Room.

The Order of the Phoenix reinforcements arrived, making the combat go from organized confusion to straight chaos. The well-meaning adults were getting in the way, making it harder to try to take down the enemy.

Hermione went down to Dolohov's Flame Cutter at the same time Sirius fell into the Veil.

The entire battle paused as a feeling none could identify straight away filled the room. All eyes turned on Harry Potter, who looked ready for murder and mayhem of his own. Antonin Dolohov and Bellatrix LeStrange fled for their lives at the look on his face.

For the first time in untold millennia, people were on the receiving end of Killing Intent.

Harry gave chase, knowing that his godfather was dead and that his best friend might very well be. He caught up to the pair in the Atrium, where Dolohov made his escape into the nearest Floo grate. Bellatrix was hoofing it towards the Magical Brethren Fountain, giving him an outlet for his anger.

Before he could do much of anything beyond a _Cruciatus_ though, Voldemort arrived on scene prompting a rematch of the Graveyard. Albus Dumbledore strode out of the Floo looking unconcerned until he took stock of the situation. The two were going at it full bore, utilizing every trick up their sleeves to get the other to make an error. Just as the year previous, Harry was holding his own much to the surprise of the Headmaster.

Entrance ruined, the old man moved to join the fray when the Floo grates came to life spilling just about every Ministry employee into the Atrium. Every eye beheld a fifteen year old boy -with only five years of education- holding even with their worst nightmare. Fudge was beside himself at seeing the Dark Lord with his own eyes, for everything he had been told about the situation by his advisor Lucius Malfoy was now in doubt.

The man born as Tom Marvolo Riddle took note of the audience, hissing in displeasure at being discovered this soon. The failure of his best Assault Team was going to have to be addressed as soon as he could reassemble them. For the time being, they were out of reach as three squads of Aurors headed into the Department of Mysteries with a trio of Unspeakables.

His retreat was noted by more than one interested individual, especially as Harry took off back into the Veil Room without so much as a by your leave. Dumbledore looked pole-axed at being ignored, which had not happened in living memory.

Harry would not admit it to anybody, but the sheer anger he had felt scared him. How he controlled himself beyond a single attempt at the _Cruciatus_ he had no idea. For a solid year he had been fighting himself, not wanting to give into the rage bubbling under the surface waiting to be unleashed.

Now here he was, in the Hospital Wing -_again_- contemplating his next move. All five of his cohorts made it out of the debacle alive, if not in one solid piece. Luna had a broken ankle, concussion and strained ribs. Daphne had breaks in her upper and lower left leg along with her left arm from impacting a wall at high velocity. Susan suffered a concussion and lacerations from shrapnel. Pansy had both of her arms broken in five places each and every tooth removed from her mouth as a result of torture, presumably at the hands of Malfoy Senior.

Hermione was lucky to be alive. The curse not only attempted to bisect her but was resistant to every healing method. On top of that her right leg was broken, the bruise on the skin showing somebody stomped hard on the limb.

The only bright spot on the whole night, even after learning of the Prophecy and what the hubbub was about, was when he annihilated Dumbledore's office for being secretive. The man had taken cover at the first sign of danger, only to watch as almost everything bar the portraits suffered his wrath.

Still, his mind was heavy.

_**June 15; Riddle Manor**_

"Severus, my slippery friend, I have need of your services," Voldemort didn't stop walking as he corralled his double agent into following. It had taken ten days for the Dark Lord to heal from his encounter with Potter, telling no one what the issue had been. He wasn't quite certain himself, for his memory during the possession attempt was hazy at best. All that he knew was that he had been completely exhausted in ways he'd never before experienced and his body refused to recharge quickly.

"Milord," Snape fell in line, robes billowing even though he wasn't moving that fast. The pair passed by many Death Eaters, each one stepping out of the way with their heads bowed as a sign of respect for their Master and his Lieutenant.

"Such a poor showing," the reborn being casually commented as he entered his command room. Calling it a throne room would be a misnomer as there was no opulent chair to sit in. "Why is it that my Inner Circle cannot beat school children numbering half of them? I can overlook taking on Potter; something about that boy . . . well, we're going to change tactics in that regard."

Snape said nothing, making it a point to look at his Master's forehead while he waited for his orders.

"Bring Battalions One, Five and Nine to active service," the Dark Lord wasted no time. "Have them train for urban combat. Draco Malfoy can redeem his father and name; all that I require at this time from him is a list of every person in Potter's little club. Especially the females, for they too need to be reminded of their place. Ward Platoons Five and Six are to set up a Muggle free-zone around the town of Potter's residence, which you will get out of the Old Man one way or another. After doing that, you will give him premade Portkeys to wherever Potter is stashed for the summer. These are to be distributed to our targets, along with the false understanding that they lead to Hogwarts. Once everything is ready, we will launch our attack; drive our victims to the boy then kill them in front of him."

"There are variables," Snape started, only to get a raised right hand in his direction telling him to stop.

"Yes, there are," Voldemort admitted, lowering his arm. "Quite a few, actually. That is why this attack is going to be Rape Torture Kill only once the battle is on Potter's front lawn. I intend to break him completely and the only way to do that is this way."

"It will take time," the double agent drawled, saying it for the sake of having said it so that any delays were not his responsibility.

"The deadline is July thirty-first. After all, we have to give Potter a birthday gift he'll _never_ forget."

_**July 31, 1995; 2345; Number Four Privet Drive**_

As birthdays went, this one wasn't too bad. Dumbledore had promised a release to the Burrow on August Second. His friends, the list of which had grown to include many of the females of Hogwarts -and a few outside of-, all sent gifts and cards wishing him well on his sixteenth.

Harry's thoughts wandered to the other shoe. Voldemort and his merry band of bumbling blustering baboons had been entirely too quiet since the Ministry. He knew, deep down, that the once-a-man was planning something big for that was the only thing that gave away the silence from that camp.

Now that he thought about it, Little Whinging as a whole had been vacated en masse the day before. He felt it was for no reason and that something strange was afoot as even the Post man had disappeared.

It was as he sat there on his lumpy bed that the first sounds of the other shoe dropping reached his ears. His window was open, allowing the cooling night air into the sweltering room. Faint _WHUMP_ noises drifted in, a sound he was all too familiar with. Portkey usage was mostly silent, except for the displacement of air upon arrival. There was either an echo or multiple entry points outside as the sound repeated itself before being drowned out.

Moans of pain, crying in desperation or depression, voices that talked over each other to the point he couldn't decipher the words alerted him to something seriously wrong. The panicked gasps as the _cracks_ of numerous Apparations again became the dominate noise maker.

Deciding to investigate, he grabbed his wand from under his pillow before making the trek down stairs. Opening the front door revealed a warzone to the young man.

Voldemort, it appeared, had launched a major offensive. Everywhere he looked there were people down. What drove him to a state of shock was that he recognized many of the combatants.

To his right, Susan Bones tried to save what was left of her modesty by squatting while guarding the unmoving form of her Aunt and battling three Death Eaters at the same time. He could tell that she was nude, as there were no clothes on her back and he could clearly see her bum.

Not far from her, what could only be Missus Abbott was doing everything she could to save her daughter's life. He didn't have a good view, but the amount of blood covering the woman gave him a clue as to how serious Hannah's injuries were. Defending the pair were the Patil sisters, neither of their parents in sight giving him a hunch that they were not among the living anymore.

Head slowly swiveling around, he took in the gruesome sights. The Greengrass sisters were fighting back-to-back, dancing around their mother who was crying over their father. He could see the Chaser Trio of Angelina, Alicia and Katie doing everything in their power to survive, battling in a triangle formation that let little through.

All three were sporting injuries and missing various articles of clothing.

That seemed to be a running theme as he looked closer at most of the members of his Defense Club. Every female was either nude, missing tops, missing bottoms or somewhere in-between.

His eyes drifted downwards, revealing that he was almost on top of a downed Hermione. Her wound from the Department of Mysteries had reopened and was bleeding heavily. Her mother was doing her best to stem the flow but was losing ground. Her father lay beside her, clearly dead as his glazed eyes stared at nothing.

He could see and hear them all. Luna off to his left by a bush, begging her father to not leave her. The Weasleys had circled wagons as it were, fighting a small mob of twenty Death Eaters on all sides in the street. Molly was beside herself as she tended to George, occasionally glancing up to send a curse into the melee.

Harry felt his shock turn to rage, which he tried to suppress. He had missed the additional cracks of Apparation as more of the enemy flooded his neighborhood alongside Aurors and Order of the Phoenix members.

A tickle in his forehead made him look up, then down the street to his left. There stood the cause of it all, looking smug at the chaos around him as he issued an order.

"Our Guest of Honor has arrived, begin Rape Torture Kill!" Voldemort bellowed, making certain to be heard by all.

The pieces fell into place for Harry. This attack was an attempt by his nemesis to demoralize the public and crush his spirit. He made a fateful decision at that moment.

He embraced the rage, and _pulled_.

The entire battle came to a screeching halt as the most powerful presence any had felt instilled fear into their beings. Even the man born as Tom Riddle couldn't force himself to move as his body betrayed him. Every eye that could turned in the direction of Number Four to see something out of their worst nightmares.

Where Harry Potter once stood was now surrounded by a dome of black energy. Glaring out at Voldemort were a pair of red eyes that put his to shame. The dome didn't last more than a minute, but to some it may as well have been there for an eternity. While it appeared to have exploded like a bomb, it did nothing to the surroundings which when considering where Hermione was, was a good thing. Only her mother took note of the fact that her daughter's wound had healed completely.

The creature that replaced Harry caused many to step back in shock. Black and red shifting patterns showed where the body was as four tails swished lazily behind him. His form looked like a Wolf, barely definable in the light of the full moon. The eyes had gone pure white, as had his mouth giving him a sinister appearance.

Off in the distance, a dozen Giants rampaged through the heart of the abandoned city. They were getting upset as the Dark One had promised them retribution on the small people and had yet to find any to crush. The fighting that they had barely heard had suddenly stopped, making them angry enough to start smashing everything in their path as without the noise they had no idea where to go.

Those watching felt new levels of fear when the eyes of whatever Harry had become narrowed before he took an odd pose. His tails had curled up over his head which was tilted back, jaw open. The strangely humanoid forepaws looked like they were grabbing an invisible bar in mid-air for arm curls, having dropped lower to the ground.

Blue and black spheres rose out of the earth in a diameter around him of ten meters, before combining where -had anybody drawn lines- his appendages pointed. The energy construct grew rapidly, becoming twice his size before suddenly compressing into something the size of a coconut. His jaw actually unhinged as he lunged upward and forward to swallow whatever he had just made whole.

Emma Granger was not stupid, nor was she about to lose her daughter if she could help it. She was the first to move, dragging Hermione out of the path of what she felt coming. The creature's head seemed to move a bit, as if taking aim while waiting for something to happen.

Albus Dumbledore had just arrived via Phoenix, although for some reason as soon as they were on scene Fawkes went berserk for a moment before fleeing. He was about to deliver a snazzy line to his wayward student when he took sight of where they were.

Severus Snape had played him for a fool! Reformed? No, there weren't any pigs growing wings and taking flight. His internal ranting was cut short when he noticed the feeling of death in the air. His eyes searched briefly, finding the source standing just outside of Harry's house. That gave him pause, for whatever it was happened to be _inside_ of the ward line and wasn't suffering greatly.

Kingsley Shacklebolt was the second to realize that standing in the path of whatever was about to happen was a bad idea. His hunch was confirmed when the Wolf-look-alike suddenly ballooned, growing to about the same size as . . .

"Take cover!" he shouted, shouldering Tonks to the ground. Even the Death Eaters listened as they dove to the sides, hoping to avoid certain death. All three sides of the paused battle scattered in directions that were _away_ from the mouth of the thing and the Giants that were barely visible in the distance.

"Fire in the hole!" Moody couldn't help himself, barking out the warning just as the jaws of the beast opened.

An elongated blast of yellow energy left the mouth of the miniature Wolf Harry had become. It flew at an incredible rate of speed, tearing up the ground, houses, cars, shrubbery . . . everything, really, as it passed. The debris got caught in the wake, making for a huge conflagration of various pieces headed in the direction of Voldemort's "Heavy Artillery".

The first two Giants in line could see the incoming sphere and moved to avoid being hit by it. The third, however, was busy looking down at something that had caught his interest. He didn't even have time to register his death as his head exploded shortly followed by the energy.

Night became day in an instant.

"Incoming shockwave!" Dumbledore had seen something like this once in his life, having been -discretely, mind- in the United States in the early nineteen forties. He had observed the first test at the now White Sands Missile Range on the other side of the mountain from Alamogordo, New Mexico.

Whatever that creature had fired happened to be the equivalent of a small nuclear bomb. He didn't even try to shield like some, instead taking a dive under a car that was a tight fit.

The fireball continued to burn as it rose into the sky, ash and dust following in its' wake forming the mushroom cloud of doom. The combatants could see an invisible force toppling everything in its' path as it traveled outward from the point of detonation.

Fortunately, the Giants had been a couple of kilometers away when they were annihilated, as the shockwave lost most of its' _UMPH_ as it washed over the battlefield. The noise hit at the same time, causing many to temporarily go deaf as every pane of glass in homes and cars -that had survived the firing at any rate- shattered.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" bellowed Tonks, eyes as wide as her metamorph powers would let them go without falling out of her head.

"Dementors inbound!" somebody on the fringe shouted, causing all eyes to turn to the sky.

Voldemort used the distraction to gesture a squad of his followers into . . . well, following his lead. As fast as they could they launched Blasting Hexes of various strength at the creature that hadn't moved an inch, even after letting loose such power. Their actions spurred the rest of the combatants back into motion, even as the presence of the Dementors became overwhelming to some.

One thing to note about rapid casting is that accuracy suffers. Even the most proficient of Mages had terrible aim if they were going too fast to compensate for their arm drifting to the side or various other reasons.

For all of the Blasting Hexes, they did nothing but kick up dust around the Four-Tailed Harry from impacting the ground and the house behind him. Being obscured made those fighting miss his head turn in the direction of the Soul Eaters before providing Anti-Air Support.

Eyes widened for many when rapid-fire versions -clearly weaker, but still packing a punch- of the blast that had killed the Giants were let loose from the dust cloud. Like tracer rounds in the night, they lit up the sky during their flight before either impacting the Dementors or missing then burning out.

The Guards of Azkaban started dropping like flies, literally shot down even as they tried evasive maneuvers. All four sides of the fight -Death Eaters, Aurors, Order members and Harry's friends- took note that those foul creatures that hit the ground didn't move afterward.

Half of their number was decimated before the others retreated, fleeing for their lives from the thing that could kill them.

Voldemort Apparated out of the cluster of his followers as his danger sense tripped. He felt his jaw drop when a solid beam, no bigger around than a wand, moved from his right to left slicing the squad in half -literally. Their torsos fell to the ground before their legs realized that the upper half of the body was no longer there to give directions.

The dust cleared, revealing whatever Potter was to the battle. He had still yet to move, but that appeared to be changing as Bellatrix had to open her mouth.

She started in with her baby-voice taunting, which was answered by her verbal target gripping the ground while leaning backward before taking off faster than any could visibly see. The thing gave off a high pitched scream, not unlike a Velociraptor is rumored to have vocalized, as it plowed into her claws first. The insane woman had little time to roar in pain as the jaws of the creature bit clean through her neck taking her head off.

"Bella!" the LeStrange brothers Rodolphus and Rabastian shouted, earning the attention of whatever it was standing on her remains. They could see its' eyes narrow a bit before it went into motion again. What surprised the pair was that the wolf-thing bypassed them and went after Antonin Dolohov who was in the midst of feeling up Susan Bones.

Susan gasped as a red and black claw emerged from her molester's chest, spraying her in blood. She looked over his left shoulder to see that Harry, whatever power he had tapped into, was truly the one to save her from a fate worse than death. The body of her attacker was flung into the melee, knocking several over and saving Nymphadora Tonks from a Killing Curse.

Harry leaned forward a bit, appearing to be sniffing at Susan before giving her right cheek a lick unmindful of the blood he just ingested. The young Bones Heir almost giggled at the ridiculousness of the situation even as his tails flared around them intercepting just about every curse and hex known to British Magicals.

"Kill him!" raged Voldemort, having abandoned his plan to break the boy as the entire situation went pear-shaped. "Kill them all!"

His order did nothing but further enrage Harry, who made his displeasure known. Letting loose a bellow that could be felt in the combatants bones, two more tails emerged from the visual manifestation of power. What really got people's attention was the skeletal structure that started to appear. The last Potter now sported the skull, spine, ribs and legs of a Wolf.

When the upgrade finished, he didn't even move his legs as he moved at high speed. For all intents and purposes he was gliding on the ground as if it were ice as he moved into the Death Eater ranks.

The rank and file of Voldemort's forces began dying left, right and center as the white, red and black blur moved by. His six tails where acting like various weapons while doubling as shields for those that tried to counter-attack.

"He's playing for keeps," Moody growled to nobody, bordering on as happy as he got that somebody was willing to off the bastards. This was while engaging a half dozen of the enemy on his own.

Voldemort saw a cheap-shot and being himself took it. For the briefest of moments he had a clear path to the confirmed "best friend" of his nemesis and he wasn't about to waste the opportunity. He had Squad Seven of Platoon Four follow his lead, saturating the area in front of Number Four in Killing Curses.

There was a blur and the thing that Harry had become stood between ten of the Death curses and those that were on his front lawn. The tails fanned outward before folding back over his body, taking the shots meant for others. This was moments before taking heavy fire from Blasting Hexes kicking up more dust.

As he was obscured, those that were looking in his direction couldn't see what happened next. All that they knew was that as the air cleared they found themselves staring at a massive paw, easily fifteen meters across and two-thirds as tall. The various fights again stopped as a growl was heard from overhead turning all eyes upward.

And upward.

And upward some more.

"Oh fuck me," Voldemort deadpanned, giving the half-lidded look of disbelief at the monstrosity taking up the landscape. Everybody that heard him, regardless of being his minion or not, agreed with the sentiment as they beheld a Titan.

Towering over them, now covered in muscles with eight tails waving fiercely behind him, was the gigantic form of Harry-turned-Wolf. A kilometer long snout to tailbone and half as tall, the beast would give nightmares for years to come.

Fenrir Greyback, having lost himself -more accurately, his inner Wolf losing itself- to his instincts during the battle, had charged the massive wolf with intent to prove himself to be the Alpha. He never even reached the left foreleg as the just as massive jaws snapped shut around him, before the head tilted to point upward and a swallowing sound was heard.

The tails flicking around behind the monster finally got some attention, as one of the two kilometer long appendages crashed into the ground triggering a magnitude nine point nine eight super-quake. What few houses in the Privet Drive neighborhood that had survived the fighting collapsed like they were made out of cards. The combatants fell to the shaking ground, unable to stand at the severe vibrations caused by the strongest earthquake ever recorded.

_**Inside Harry's mindscape, same time**_

"Where the hell am I now?!" Harry demanded to nobody, wondering how he had gone from his front porch to this labyrinth. He would call it a sewer if he had ever seen one designed like this and not like the standard he had heard about.

Everything was rather square cut. The walls, the connecting tunnels, the floors and ceiling . . . everything had more often than not right angles instead of the round tubes one would expect with waste drainage.

"Harry!" came the cry of his mother, making his head perk up and look down a passage to his left. While he couldn't see the source of the voice he could make out that the area down that tunnel was well lit.

"Damn it boy, get in here!" thundered Charlus, making him fast-walk in the direction of the voices. It took no time at all to find his passengers, pounding their fists on a barrier.

"There you are!" Dorea was extremely relieved to finally have the attention of her grandson. "We've been trying to contact you for almost two months but something has been blocking us!"

Harry was stunned by the urgency he could hear in her voice. Whatever the barrier that was between them also prevented him from entering their chamber.

"There's no time," Charlus took charge. "Harry, you've got to calm down before you wake her-"

"**Oh, it's far too late for that mortal**," boomed a sixth voice, drawing the attention of the five Potter's to the massive cage on the -from Harry's perspective- right side of the room. The shadows within hid whatever was in there until even darker shadows started moving around.

"What the bloody hell is going on Da?" James turned his head slightly to the left to bark at his father, not understanding what was happening.

"**Go ahead and tell them, human**," the shadow in the cage shifted, "**for the pact between your ancestor and myself is already broken**."

The elder Potter did just that, informing those not in the know as to the best-kept secret of the family. They were all shocked that every other generation had housed such a responsibility. It was Harry, being himself influenced by how he was raised that spoke up first.

"I'm sorry," he stated without fear, leaning against the barrier so that his tenant could see him better. "I honesty had no idea that the power I was using wasn't mine. No doubt you've noticed that my family," he gestured with his left hand to the adults, "are slightly transparent. That's because they're actually dead. These are Shades of their souls, taken from the wand of the man that killed them when I was but fifteen months old."

The five knew they were under scrutiny, before what could only be a sigh escaped the cage. When a single, massive eye appeared in the wiggling shadows did they hold their breath. The eye was unlike anything any of them had ever seen before: purely lavender with concentric rings that had what looked like lazily spinning commas orbiting the pupil, three per ring.

"**You speak the truth**," the mouth could now be seen, as the malice that the shadow had been giving off subsided. "**I can detect that you've even been fighting my presence for some time now after you accidentally tapped into my power. I**-**,**" the voice stopped as the eye shifted around as if looking for something. "**There is another here, one that truly does not belong**."

A massive tail came sailing out of the cage, striking the ceiling above the barrier knocking loose something that Harry had seen at the Graveyard.

A deformed baby with an adult's head.

"Please . . . help me," wheezed what was once a part of Voldemort, barely moving as though in great pain.

"What the hell is that?!" Lily screamed, leaping backwards a bit at the sudden appearance of the . . . thing.

"I've had a piece of him this whole time?" Harry whispered, stumbling forward revealing that the barrier was now gone. "You tried to defy Death too much Tom. This makes two of you that I've had to kill."

With little preamble, he punted the wheezing body-look-alike into the cage which promptly disappeared into the jaws of the shadow.

"Horcrux," Dorea, being born a Black, knew what that had been but was in denial that anybody would go that route. Her whispered comment earned the full attention of the others causing her to elaborate. "That was a Horcrux; a piece of soul shredded from the main to be placed into a container that would act as an anchor preventing whoever makes one from truly passing over."

"**Bleargh**," the indefinable shadow was smacking its' lips, "**partial souls always taste like crap. Not even enough of that one to give me any power, just memories. You, young Harry, are far more special than you think. You have the same moral fiber as the last mortal I willingly spoke to, when I originally went to sleep untold years ago**."

By now, Harry had gotten close to the cage doors. He could barely see a piece of paper with strange writing on in a couple hundred meters up. Focusing behind that had him staring into the gigantic eye unflinchingly.

"My friends are in danger," he continued his stare, "and I have no idea what's going on outside of here. I need-," was all he got out before being interrupted. Not by any of his guests but by yet another newcomer, one that the massive shadow recognized.

"**Just as your father before you, you left a piece of yourself in the seal. Things must be bad if you were released, Naruto**."

The five Potters took in the newest arrival. Standing at just under two meters tall, blond hair that went everywhere just like the mess every Potter had been blessed with, the deepest blue eyes they had ever seen and wearing what looked like a uniform covered by a burnt orange trench coat that had black flames along the hem.

"Indeed," his eyes shifted from the Juubi to take in those before him. "I had hoped that your power would never grace the Earth again but alas . . . So, tell me what has happened to warrant the breach of the deal we had."

The two not in the know were educated by the three generations of Potter, from the first rise of Voldemort to the current battle outside of the mindscape. The blond was impressed that the raven-haired teen in front of him knew where he was as it was a far cry better than his first trip into his own mind.

"Time is short," he declared after a few moments of silence. "This echo of myself was left behind to repair the seal in the off chance that Kurama here persuaded the host to release her. Since no such damage, beyond the wear and tear caused by said host not being properly trained, has occurred then my secondary purpose comes into play." He moved closer to Harry, scrutinizing the youth with battle hardened eyes. "You grew up the way I did, bar your first fifteen months of life. Unloved, unwanted, shunned for something out of your control. And just as I, you kept on going eventually making friends. Even, perhaps, finding love . . . with more than one young woman to boot. Yes, you are worthy of the legacy of the Namikaze, Uzumaki, Potter and _Jinchuuriki_. My descendant, cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war to bring peace back to the land."

With his last words, the blond haired man thrust his right hand into Harry's forehead. His parents and grandparents couldn't move either, as both of their eyes rolled upwards from the connection. The elder recovered first, looking at the four adults even as his body started to fade.

"I have given him everything I knew at the time I designed the original seal. I recommend that you four do the same, to give him a true fighting chance against his enemies. I shall await you all on the other side . . . although, I don't want to see Harry until the time is right."

Just as he came, he was gone. Charlus shared a look with Dorea, both nodding after their silent communication. James had duplicated the look of his father with Lily, also coming into agreement. One by one they repeated the actions of Naruto, sharing everything they had known in life with their only living family. Lily was the last to go, as she wanted her son to be aware of the goings on before leaving her baby yet again.

"I expect lots of grandchildren," she sobbed into Harry's left shoulder, "and for you to spoil them rotten. One day, we will see you again. All of us love you Harry."

He couldn't help it, breaking out in a hysterical crying fit as she faded out of his arms. Part of him had known, since the Battle of the Graveyard that this was an eventuality. It was as he was calming down that he was reminded that he was not alone.

"**Come here**," even with the deep, bass-quality to the voice it was soft at the same time. "**You shall be the last to have my power. The time has come for even I to go onto the Other Side for the world no longer needs me. Cherish those that you love, make friends everywhere you can, and utterly destroy your enemies. Bring peace to the land as best you can.**"

He could have sworn, moments before a claw gently slid into his skull, that a tear had fallen from the Great Calamity's eye.

Darkness enveloped him swiftly as he left the mindscape, almost missing the '_Be well, my son_' that echoed six times.

_**Waking World, Moments after Super-Quake started**_

"We've got to get containment of the situation!" random Auror number eight shouted, moments before falling over yet again from the tremors.

"On your feet!" Voldemort bellowed at his own forces, hovering a couple of meters in the air to avoid the fate of those land-locked. "I want every single enemy here dead!"

"Pull back! Pull back!" came from random Death Eater number ninety-two before being crushed under the massive paw of the monster that dominated the landscape.

Orders such as these were continuously yelled back and forth from different sources. As the quake finally abated, at least enough for people to get back on their feet and stay there, did the battle resume with more ferocity.

Curses of every type flew in every direction, most missing their targets while even more were batted aside with aplomb. Those that couldn't be blocked were dodged while a few landed home causing damage or death.

Hermione Granger awoke to utter mayhem around her, even as her mother tried to suffocate her with a hug. Taking stock of the situation found that she was in a ruined neighborhood. With no distinguishing landmarks -or even street signs- she had no idea where the battle had taken her until her mother managed to speak.

"It was a trap," Emma sobbed, refusing to let go of her daughter. "Instead of a safe house we appeared in this town. I didn't know which one until . . ." she gazed upwards as the beast had strangely gone into stillness, ". . . until your friend Harry walked out of the house we had been in front of. He did something that healed you before going on a rampage. I've not kept count but he's killed dozens before that bald, pasty guy over there shouted for everybody to be killed." Hermione turned her head to behold Voldemort _in person_ battling Albus Dumbledore while trying to direct his troops before turning back to her mother. "That statement just angered Harry further, for he became . . ." her eyes traveled upward as several dozen curses slammed into the monster, obscuring it from view.

When the latest round of dust and smoke drifted away in the breeze, Harry Potter stood before them again. The giant Wolf-thing was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh no," Hermione recognized that posture, even though she could only see his back. "He's _furious_ now."

The battle waged on, taking no notice of the teenager in the midst even as his eyes opened revealing a change. They were still the emerald green that everybody adored; they had add-ons in the form of concentric rings with three swirling 'commas' per ring.

"Form up on me!" his voice reached all corners of the fight, drawing in the slowly-scattering members of his Defense Club. It also brought the attention of the other sides to his person, making more than a few cringe in fear at the glare he was delivering. "SITREP!"

Even though almost all of those gathered around him started talking at the same time, he was able to take in everything they shouted at him. While they'd lost not one member of the Club itself there had been losses. Most were before the Portkeys had brought them to Harry's house but it mattered not. Almost all of them were orphans now, or down to a single grieving parent. He took note that his 'exploding but not' power had healed those that were injured beforehand.

"Right, form a ten meter perimeter around Hermione," he started barking orders. "Bring any wounded from our side here and help them as best you can. As distasteful as it is, check the dead for useful items such as _Pepper-up Potion_. You've all been fighting for hours now, so take shifts to conserve strength." A wave of his hand conjured a stack of robes. "Not that I'm complaining, but now is not the time for me to gawk at naked girls. Let nothing through but stay out of the way for I'm entering combat."

They were all aware of the power he possessed, beyond the creature that he had become. It was his commanding presence which calmed them enough to actually look at him taking in his attire. While he was still dressed for bed, he now sported a pure white trench coat with burnt orange flames along the hem in honor of the man that had sired his ancestor.

"He wants war, he shall have it," were his last words before marching unto the breach. Those that had gathered around also swung into action, doing as he directed.

Everybody noticed at once that the humidity of the summer night suddenly vanished as Harry Potter calmly walked forward. When he was sure that those he cared for were behind him he clapped his hands together, fingers pointed straight up before making a triangle out of his thumbs and index fingers. He had also twisted his hands a bit, creating what looked like a funnel.

"Incoming!" shouted a Death Eater as a massive wall of water appeared from nowhere, washing the neighborhood clean.

"What the bloody hell!" John Dawlish looked up as the wave crested before breaking, bringing twenty tons of liquid down on his head.

Little Whinging flooded in a heartbeat, sending the combatants in all directions. Dumbledore and Voldemort broke off their engagement to take shelter themselves, watching the decimation of the forces they had brought to bear.

The Dark Lord's men formed ranks for protection, still with significant numbers. This grouping turned out to be a bad idea as Harry formed a circle with his right thumb, index then middle fingers while his ring and pinky stood upright. He inhaled deeply as he brought the strange position of his hand to his mouth in the center of the ring before launching massive fireballs at an insane rate.

Out of the six hundred wands he still had -after taking into account his losses from one thousand twenty-nine- nearly half that number were burned alive as the fire went through shields as if they weren't there.

Harry wasn't just standing around, watching the devastation he wrought. As his enemies scattered he clapped his hands again, this time holding them in place as if in prayer as massive tree roots surged out of the ground, wrapping up another hundred before dragging them underground to their deaths.

In seconds he killed four hundred sixteen Death Eaters, wounding another hundred and leaving their forces in complete disarray.

Greyback's pack, having no Alpha, had descended into anarchy as their inner Wolves did whatever they wanted. Five had the same idea to launch themselves through the air at the last Potter, hoping to overwhelm him with numbers. When he held his arms out in their direction, palms facing them did they understand their folly.

To those watching, the transformed men were going one direction through the air before suddenly reversing course at a much higher rate of speed. Each were blown clear over the horizon, being lost in the early morning light.

Voldemort ground his teeth, trying to remain dignified as he gave the order.

"Retreat!"

"Get over here!" Harry was having none of that, making a pulling motion in the air causing his arch-enemy to involuntarily fly at him. Riddle was a master of flight and Apparation though, as he fled the scene of the battle.

"Withdraw!" Rabastian LeStrange had somehow survived the chaos to give the evacuation order. If his Master fled before the boy he had no hope of doing anything but dying.

In groups the survivors of what would be called the Surrey Massacre followed what was left of their command structure, fleeing for their very lives.

As they were leaving, Harry decided to let them go but kept an eye on them just in case they turned around for another go.

"This is going to be next to impossible to hide from the Muggles," Alastor Moody growled, having walked up next to the young Potter.

"We leave the wards Voldemort had set up to get the Mundane out of town," the younger man rejoined. "He had them anchored to the land after all, so they should last indefinitely."

"It's the best course of action," Albus Dumbledore carefully added, not knowing how much clout he had left with either man.

The three stood in the ruins of Little Whinging, watching as Aurors, Medical Personnel and members of Harry's Club moved about the destruction, caring for survivors while moving the dead.

"Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war indeed."

TBC

Battle Group sizes:

Squad = Seven

Platoon = Seven Squads, Forty-nine

Battalion = Seven Platoons, Three hundred forty-three

And so ends the first chapter of a pilot fic, that shall either be continued or dismissed depending on how it is received. Some of this I really had to question where it came from but figured that it fit so left it alone.

After all, thirteen thousand plus words (by Word's count, anyway) is just too much to retool after such a long hiatus.

Thank you readers/reviewers! You are all the best, even if you have negative things to say.


	2. Magical Maturity 1

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

_**Story is not for Dumbledore, Molly, Percy, Ron, nor Ginny fans**_. There, it's bold and italicized so flamers will be used in preparation of my next meal, especially if they didn't read that. No, that's not a typo.

Magical Maturity, Arc One Part One

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

The story of Harry Potter was well known to the Wizarding public. From his unexplainable defeat of the Dark Lord Voldemort at the tender age of fifteen months to his recent reintroduction to magic and his subsequent defeat of the wraith-form of the same Dark Wizard and his Shade in the ever elusive Chamber of Secrets. Dumbledore had not lied when he told young Harry that as a secret the whole Castle knew of the events surrounding the Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone. What he failed to mention was that those very children talked to their parents, spreading the word that he had risked his life to prevent the rise of another Dark Lord. It had taken very little input of the part of the Headmaster to point everything at Quirinus Quirrell going dark rather than being possessed by whatever passed for a soul of Voldemort. The Diary wasn't as easy to pass off as a second person going Dark as it would have affected one of the devout Light families. It had taken some spinning of the tale to get the focus away from Ginny Weasley and onto the Basilisk instead.

Two years within the halls of Hogwarts, two years of mortal peril for young Potter. The Wizarding World was in for a shock, however. And thus begins our story . . .

_**July 30, 1993, Number Four Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey**_

"I really don't feel so good," declared the smallest resident. The years of being underfed and general abuse by his relatives –he'd rather die than call them 'family'- had taken their toll upon his body. Extremely underweight; under-height and with the vision of a bat without his glasses Harry Potter did one of the few chores that he found some solace in: weeding the garden. He found that the tranquility of tending it was as close to an escape as he could get from his housemates. Especially when adding in the insanely hot temperatures. He didn't care if it was measured in Fahrenheit or Celsius, either way it felt like it was about a thousand degrees in the shade forget being exposed to the sun. In truth, it was closer to an even hundred Fahrenheit with a maxed out hundred percent humidity yet no signs of rain to be seen in any direction.

The extreme heat index outdoors guaranteed that Vernon, Petunia and Dudley Dursley were inside enjoying the air conditioning while he slaved away in the garden. Harry's owl, Hedwig, was sound asleep in the oven that was the second bedroom as sometime during the school term Vernon decided to seal off the vents, allowing zero airflow from either the furnace in the winter or the blessed air conditioner in the summer.

Under the pretext of watering the plants and softening the soil he drank rather greedily from the hose pipe, making a point to keep his back to the house so if on the off-chance that anybody looked outside all that they would see would be water falling to the ground. Yet the water, which worked wonders for his thirst, did not make the queasiness go away. Glancing in the general direction of the sun, he estimated that there was but an hour or two of daylight left and decided to abandon his task for the day.

He took great care and diligence to clean -in the case of the trowel and soil claw sharpen- the tools he had been using before returning them and the hose to the shed. Before venturing into the building he had made certain that Vernon nor Dudley were laying in wait for a lapse of awareness to lock him in, as they had taken great delight in doing in the past.

After making certain his person was as clean as could be, he ventured indoors to be greeted by the puce-colored face of his oh so loving Uncle.

"Boy, what are you doing?" he demanded, hands already balled into fists and looking for any "good" reason to begin what was a well-deserved beating.

The response was not as expected. Instead of a quiet response accompanied by resignation to the situation and potential waffling hoping to avoid said beating, Harry temporarily lost control of his magic from a sudden surge. The Dursley's would swear that it was electricity that was lancing from "the freak", using every available extremity as an outlet. Even the individual hair follicles on his head were sending out the tendrils of magic made manifest, racing upwards in a bizarre light-show. The light bulbs overhead exploded rather spectacularly when the tendrils made contact, as did the television that was kept in the kitchen for Dudley.

As quick as it started, the show that would impress –and worry- Albus Dumbledore stopped. Vernon, having been the closest living being to the walking power plant that was Harry looked the part of having stuck his finger in an outlet. The thicker hairs on his head stood up while the finer ones were burned off, leaving a puffed mustache, smoking dome and no eyebrows.

"I don't feel so good," the youth finally deadpanned, after taking in the wanton destruction. There was still the occasional piece of glass hitting the floor, breaking the silence. Harry took this as his cue to head up to his room, knowing that when his 'family' came out of their shock there would be hell to pay.

Upon entering his room, and hearing the articulate roar of rage downstairs, he paused at finding a House-Elf perched on his bed. Shutting the door, his magic lashed out again tripping then melting the locks making it impossible for them to be opened. This happened just in time for the door starting shaking from the impacts of the out of control Vernon.

"Harry Potter sir," greeted Dobby, launching himself from the bed to the young wizard's legs. "Dobby felt Harry Potter sir's magic, Dobby has come!"

"Now's not a great time," he tried to soothe the hyperactive creature attached to his lower half. "I'm not feeling my best and am going to sleep."

"Dobby understands Harry Potter sir," replied the Elf, "but that is why Dobby is here. Master Harry Potter sir is maturing too soon! Maturity not supposed to happen until seventeen!"

"What are you talking about?" Harry quasi-glared at his wayward friend, sitting down on his bed. "Nobody ever mentioned a maturity to me."

"Dobby only knows of it because of seeing it young Master," the smaller of the two answered while climbing onto the same chair he had the year previous. "Wizards core grows likes their body, from fourteenth year to seventeenth, with a last great surge in sixteenth year Harry Potter Sir. It beings a sign of Adulthood. Is supposed to happen likes life growing: slowly. Master Harry Potter sir's core is trying to grow too fast, likes its being blocked."

Here was yet another wonderful piece of information that people had apparently felt he could do without. He was well aware of the concept of puberty and understood what the Elf with abnormally large eyes was trying to tell him –even if it was abstract in the extreme. The part about a blockage wasn't entirely surprising, given everything else that had happened in the last two years. It explained his recent difficulties with his control, something that hadn't happened since beginning his magical education. Having a sudden bout of inspiration from that train of thought, he pulled the loose floorboard up and extracted his wand.

The moment he made contact with it, there was another massive surge. His magic took on a life of its own, first by completely sealing the room then inducing a coma-like state. Once Harry was out, his body levitated to his bed where it came to rest with him on his back and his arms crossed over his chest. From there it sought out the other two occupants of the room and induced magical comas before settling them next to his body. The tendrils of power appeared again, this time seeking out the sole lamp and the few power outlets. Once the connections were established, the power within Harry folded back upon itself before pulsing outwards three times.

From space, looking down upon the London suburbs, domes of energy could be seen racing around the world. The first pulse demolished the core blocks and any foreign magic tied into said core. The second hijacked the wards of Number Four making it Unplottable and tweaking the Blood Ward into a Blood Fidelius, erasing knowledge of the house from the memories of all except for the residents. The third and final pulse modified the memories of the entire Wizarding world. They could recall that Harry Potter stopped the Dark Lord on October 31, 1981. Everything beyond that, including his first two years at Hogwarts, was locked away.

_**September 1, 1993 Hogwarts Express en route to Hogsmeade**_

"Another year, another DADA professor," grumbled Hermione Granger, not liking the fact that there was no consistency in the school. The sole occupant of the compartment slumbered on, unaware of her rumbling as the full moon was two days previous. Her anger also stemmed from the fact that Ron Weasley was being a foul git, starting at the end of July. They'd been having conversations about . . . somebody . . . and the odd desire to get him away from his abusive relatives whomever they were when his entire attitude changed. He started boasting about "his" accomplishments first and second year, defending the school from Dark Wizards, Basilisks and Frauds.

She knew better, however. There was a vague recollection of a boy with a raven's nest for hair, emerald green eyes and a lightning bolt scar. Trusting her instincts, she knew that he was the one to do the things that Ron was currently recapping to some first years three compartments away, generating awe and respect as his stories became more outlandish. Somewhere along the way First Year included a Chimera and a Hungarian Horntail while Second revolved around wandless magic.

Feh, wandless indeed. He just didn't want to admit to breaking his wand before the start of the term, the berk.

If it had just been some boasting and ego inflation, she could have let it slide. Sometime in August, however, his attitude towards her had completely changed. He started insisting that she owed him a Life Debt for saving her from the troll and had to repay it as he saw fit to which he dropped his drawers. That part of the memory was the only thing she could laugh at, as his block and tackle left a lot to be desired. Having done the odd babysitting duty for relatives, she was aware of a couple of her cousins that were bigger than him from having to change nappies.

Ron's behavior had gotten to the point that before storming out of the Burrow, for good as she later learned from a Howler from Molly Weasley, she loudly stated that fact to the present members of the family; she had not been impressed by the latest row, and after the uber-insult to her youngest boy declared her _persona-non-grata_ to the family while proving that even the Light families have blood prejudice. That dreadful word that had ruined a friendship in the past generation had done it again, embittering Hermione to any of the "purebloods". If that wasn't enough to do it, being called every female slander this side of the Pond was more than enough motivation to sever her ties with that family.

Draco Malfoy, on the other hand, was loving life. Since he had larger fish to fry than worry about a nonexistent rival, he set himself to the task of solidifying his hold in Slytherin. He had caught wind of the fallout between Weasley and Granger, thanks in part to Mother Weasley running off at the mouth in Diagon Alley. He'd have time to gloat later, right now he was making his way up and down the train bullying the first years that dared to cross his path.

The entire year was normal for once, with the glaring exception of a competent Defense professor. There had been rumblings from the Gryffindor Quidditch team when they realized that they didn't have a Seeker this year and for the life of them couldn't remember who had been for the previous two.

At the Leaving Feast did things get exciting again. Hermione and Neville Longbottom, the outcasts of Gryffindor thanks to Ron and his vindictive streak, were seated at the end closest to the doors. Even the twins Fred and George had left them alone, on threat of expulsion from the family if Molly caught wind of even pranking "the bitch". The two were in a conversation about summer plans when the hairs on her neck stood up, causing her head to follow.

"What is it?" wondered the Longbottom Heir, his own internal warning system going off.

"I don't-" was all she got out before looking out the massive windows behind the staff table that overlooked the southern forest in her quest to find the source of the distraction. Traveling at them at a high rate of speed was a shockwave comprised of pure magical power. Thinking quickly, she shoved the boy under the table before screaming out, "_PROTEGO!_"

Her actions stopped all conversations in the Great Hall, for even though she was now labeled as an outcast the populace knew she was level-headed. Following her line of sight, the students and staff were quick to copy her motions just as the wave hit the castle. Every window imploded, raining a large amount of glass down on their heads. Those that couldn't generate shields –mostly by age but a few caught unawares- had taken shelter under the tables.

In the Dark Forests of Albania, a Shade momentarily flickered in and out of existence before a name whispered through the trees like a soft wind, yet completely and totally sinister in delivery.

"_Harry Potter . . ."_

_**July 30, 1994 Number Four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging**_ (Thirty-one days since end of term)

"Wow that was a good nap!" was the first thing to be vocalized by Harry Potter as he stretched, groaning in delight as various joints popped. Hearing a faint woof-bark, he spied his faithful familiar Hedwig out of her cage seeming imitating the stretches. Having paused to take in the antics of the owl, he heard more pops and grunts from his right.

"Harry Potter Sir, Dobby is happy that yous be feelings better," said the excitable elf while bending his neck left and right. "Dobby agrees with Master Harry Potter, best's sleep Dobby has had in many years."

"Dobby, I'm not your Master," was the instant rebuke, before feeling something different with his magic. He could swear that he could feel a 'status' of Dobby lurking in the back of his mind, informing him of the little elf's health, location, and mood. "Huh, do you feel that?"

The House-Elf paused in his version of stretches which included wagging his large ears to tilt his head to the right as if in deep contemplation. Then his eyes widened, not in horror as Harry could instinctively feel, but rather in absolute joy before he wrapped what he could of his arms around his Wizard and squeezing for all he was worth.

"Dobby does, Master Harry Potter!" was the excited exclamation occurring in tandem with a House-Elf Power Hug. Which considering Harry had been subjected to something similar from his Half-Giant friend Hagrid meant that it was not causing ribs to creak in protest. "We's be Bonded properly! Dobby is so happy, yes he is!"

While this was going on, Hedwig took note of the fact that the Familiar Bond she'd already had with her Master and Friend had been strengthened beyond anything she was aware of. Her own mother, her clutch and then the other owls at the Menagerie had told her of the joys being a Familiar could bring. What she felt now was a total and complete connection, going far deeper than any other of her kind before. Letting loose with a string of woofs, barks, and '_kuk-kuk-kuk's'_ got the attention of the duo now seated on the bed, before she 'felt' –for lack of a better term- the absolute joy radiate from her Master.

"Yes Hedwig, I feel you too," he said with reverence and awe, his own eyes widening in happiness. "And I can partially understand your version of speech! This is brilliant!"

Then the door shook rather violently, reminding the trio that they were in potentially hostile territory. Harry had yet to notice that his wand was no longer in his hand, instead he reacted on instinct and waved his hand at the door vanishing the melted locks.

"Ruddy freak, what the devil have you done to our house?!" demanded Vernon upon gaining entry, shotgun in hand. Other than the accessory that was far from legal in Britain, he looked about as normal as he could.

"What are you on about Uncle?" wondered Harry, bewildered at the excessive reaction he had garnered from the large man and why he looked like one of the deranged people that he loved to complain about.

"What am I-?! Idiot boy!" spluttered the elder Dursley male. "First you trash the entire ground floor, then you blow the power grid _in the entire city_, then you managed to hide _my_ house with that freakishness to the point that I can't get any repairmen here! It's taken me all year to fix just the lights in the kitchen! If there's one bright spot on the whole ordeal, I've been able to go to work even if I had to get a bloody Box for the mail!"

"A _year_?!" was the only thing Harry latched on to, having been used to the tirades of the Dursley's as a whole and filtering out their voices. "What the bloody hell do you mean _a year_ Dursley?!"

"Don't you take that tone with me, boy!" was roared back accompanied by the shotgun lifting just a bit higher. "One year to the day since you whined like the impudent child you are about '_not feeling good_'! I've about lost my mind, my job, my sister . . . everything _normal_! Ruddy freaks and their freakishness damn near killed me! Well, soon you _will_ be dead and this nightmare will end!"

Tucking the butt of the gun under his right arm, Vernon sighted Harry's head and was about to pull the trigger when the boy became a blur of motion.

Harry himself didn't know what came over himself at that point, just that his magic responded to his gestures firing off a _Stupefy_ and an _Incarcerus_ from his left hand while an _Expelliarmus_ and _Petrificus Totalus_ flew from his right. The four spells hit nearly simultaneously, sending the overly large man flying down the hallway Stunned, Disarmed, Bound and temporarily Petrified to crash into the wall at the far end, head imbedded into the cheesy wallpaper. Looking around in surprise, he spied the window and thought nothing was amiss as he could see the neighborhood beyond in the evening light.

"To hell with you morons," rumbled Harry after a few moments of thought as another instinctive wave of his hands had his possessions packed then the loaded trunk shrunk to be pocket sized before sending Dobby and Hedwig out of the house. On his way to the front door he encountered Petunia, which he took advantage of to say one last thing to his last known blood relative. "I have never, and will never, consider this place to be home. As I live and breathe, as the magic granted me by my ancestors flows through my veins, I cast the last relation of the Evans line away. So say I, Harry James of the Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Potter, so mote it be!"

A wave of magic poured forth, wiping the Wards out of existence. The neighbors that happened to be looking in the direction of the odd empty lot found themselves blinking owlishly as a house materialized from nowhere before their memories of one of the occupants was restored. They watched, utterly fascinated, as the miscreant Potter boy charged out the front door before heading in the direction of the Park near Magnolia Crescent.

"Run away freak! You are no longer welcome in this home!" Petunia shrieked, having run outside before realizing that her house was visible to the outside world for the first time in a year. To her dismay, several neighbors were watching the drama unfold, having nothing better to do.

Harry had situational awareness not normally seen in Wizard-kind. He was more than aware of the neighbors gawking as he exited the house, thus leading him to look for some place quiet and deserted before summoning the Knight Bus. He needed time to think, for there was so much going on that he was becoming aware of. One of his major thoughts, which became a strong desire, was to get to Gringotts to get the true sum of his holdings. As he ventured behind a tall hedgerow he felt his magic respond to said desire.

One step he was in Little Whinging, the next he was at the Apparation Point in Diagon Alley. Not breaking stride he stormed down the Alley, the people out and about shopping in the evening hour scattering like rats at his approach. The doors to Gringotts opened on their own, surprising the Goblins on guard duty and those that had been looking in that general direction before a literal powerhouse walked in.

_**Same Day, The Burrow, Ottery Saint Catchpole, Devonshire**_

"We are so screwed," whimpered Ron to the gathered Weasley's. With the exception of Bill and Charlie, the entire household had gathered around the dinner table to discuss the sudden resurgence of memories regarding one Harry Potter. The comment from the youngest son was in regards to what would happen when said Potter found out what he had been up to.

"Your own fault," said the Twins at the same time, looking grim. "We left well enough alone, even after you alienated Hermione."

"Don't you speak that name in this house!" thundered Molly, before glancing around looking for said person to pop out of the woodwork.

"No Molly," came from Arthur, looking every bit disappointed in his family. To him, they meant everything and their behavior over the past year was utterly unacceptable. "You have as much to be worried about as Ronald. We _are_ talking about the boy that defeated one of the darkest Wizards in history at the age of fifteen months. I have a feeling . . ."

"What _kind_ of feeling?" asked Percy, his demeanor neutral. On the inside, however, his thoughts were moving at Portkey speeds looking for an angle to attack this problem from. The only reason he was here instead of his new flat was pressure from Penelope to visit his family. He'd made a decision in regard to giving her the boot as soon as he returned home in thanks for getting him involved in this mess.

"Let's look at the facts," answered his father, leaning back in his chair. "All of us lost our memories of him. He was not seen at Hogwarts this year. Our memories come back, the day before his birthday. At the same time, we are now aware that we lost those memories exactly one year ago."

"It sounds like a Maturity," was the immediate conclusion that came from Ginny. When all eyes fell upon her person, she blushed before mumbling, "That Diary taught me a thing or two."

The silence became awkward after that statement, for it was the first time the youngest of the brood had talked about the Diary at all. The parents frowned deeply, wondering what else the being once known as Tom Riddle had dumped into her brain. Percy and the Twins had paled, being reminded that the subject of the previous discussion was the reason their sister was still alive.

"What the devil are you talking about?" was the unthinking Ron's response, ignoring the whole Diary issue because it tied into the fact that when Harry learned of his actions over the past year he knew there would be hell to pay. He was smart enough to hold no illusions that Hermione would talk about what he'd done.

"Every magical goes through a Maturity, males and females. It's not supposed to end until the age of seventeen, which is where the term Age of Majority came from. It begins at the age of fourteen to reduce sudden surges from the Core to prevent damages to the body," lectured Arthur to his four youngest, still reclined in his chair. "However, there are documented cases of sudden Maturities. One such case, which applies to Harry, is that he is the last of his House. Usually, that only bumps the Age to fifteen. He's to turn fourteen tomorrow, which implies the other documented cases which are of Blocks and Bindings on his Core. The memory loss is documented in both examples in regards to just how much power a Magical has. No-one, and I mean _no-one_, has gone beyond three months before. The fact that it's been a _year_ . . . without a doubt, Harry is stronger than even Dumbledore. If this issue hadn't arisen, your Mother and myself would have taught you more about this nearer your seventeenth birthday to explain any of the last minute surges that occur just as we did with Bill, Charlie and Percy."

The rest of the Weasley family looked utterly stupefied at that point, having been lost after the comment about being stronger than Dumbledore. Then Arthur had to add another little tidbit.

"So yes, when he learns of your actions we are, as you so eloquently put it, screwed."

_**Gringotts Bank, Director Ragnok's office**_

"Time is money Master Ragnok," said Harry as he bowed, getting straight to the point. "I wish to know my holdings within this Grand Institution, and perform a Heritage Ritual to know where I came from in the familial sense."

The Elder Goblin seated on the other side of the massive mahogany desk simply nodded in approval of the Wizard in front of him. This one treated Goblins exactly how they wanted to be treated, as in not dawdling with pleasantries nor flinging about insults. Profit, Honor, Dignity was their philosophy after all in that order. He could sense that the youngling seated opposite had undergone a Maturity recently, which was why he was allowed the privilege of an Audience with the Director.

"We shall begin immediately," was the raspy response after a few moments of contemplation. Potter was one of the higher-end accounts after all, and for it to be active again meant Profits aplenty for the Goblin Nation.

Harry waited for the Director to stand before doing so himself, following the male Goblin through a side door silently. His mind, however, was running amok trying to understand where all of this new information and etiquette came from. It felt like _home_ in a sense, stemming from his magic which led him to believe that it was ancient Family Magic at work. He'd only seen a few references in the Hogwarts Library in passing but never followed it up since nobody bothered to inform him of his families past. He used the plural due to nobody speaking up on behalf of his Mother beyond his eye color to date and he'd be damned if he ever spoke to, let alone asked, Petunia about her side of the family.

The silent duo walked through several corridors before entering a large cavern-type room. This room was different in that every available surface was covered in what appeared to be Runes of all types. In the center was a pedestal that held a basin and a ceremonial silver knife.

"This Heritage Ritual is different from the Ritual of Birth for Family Magic. Here, all you need to do is let blood flow into the basin and the magic will do the rest. Once the appropriate amount has been let, the wound will be healed by the ambient magic," explained Ragnok as he gestured forward.

Harry didn't pause in his walking, moving with purpose to said basin. Picking up the knife with his left hand, his sliced the palm of his right then held the now bleeding hand over the center of it. Looking down revealed a potion filling half of the stone bowl, which started swirling with colors as his blood slowly dripped into it. He was surprised by the fact that half a minute passed before he felt the skin of his hand stitching itself back together, which he took as his cue to examine it for scarring. Seeing none, he looked up at the far wall to see many of, what he first thought to be Runes, glowing either Gold or Silver. Now that they stood out against the others, he could plainly see that they were in fact Coat-of-Arms and Family Crests.

Ragnok felt his eyes widen in surprise as the room lit up like one of the Great Furnaces in the Catacombs. There was _so much_ Gold coloring about that it danced like flame, while the Silver acted like the base of said flame. He'd lived a long, four-hundred year plus life and had never seen anything close to this before.

The neck of the pedestal made several noises that sounded suspiciously like a dot-matrix printer before spitting out ten feet worth of parchment at Harry's feet. As it was landing it retained its rolled shape becoming a scroll of all things. Reaching down, he picked it up and walked back to the Goblin Lord that had accompanied him into the room.

Again the duo were silent on the trek back to the Director's office, which seemed to involve less corridors and turns this time around. Apparently there was a _lot_ of Profit to be had on this day, and Ragnok was as anxious as a Goblin could be to get started.

Upon entering the office, Harry handed the scroll over before returning to his chair. He waited for Ragnok to be seated before doing so himself, then relaxed into the plush leather and waited to be addressed.

"Oh what a Glorious Day!" Ragnok finally barked, eyes alight with the potential held in his hands. Some of these Vaults had been idle for millennia, even those that held little gold while others that were fuller had been collecting dust for the last decade or so. Feeding the parchment into a slot on his desk, various books and portfolios of all things began appearing at random. Several times other Goblins would venture into the domain of their Liege with another book –or several- in hand, effectively burying the desk and blocking the view between Harry and Ragnok.

That view was restored in quick order as everything compressed into a single book once the last was delivered. The cover opened slightly before literally coughing up a summary sheet. This garnered a raised eyebrow from Harry but no verbal response. He did spy the ornate box that had appeared, which looked to be twenty-by-twenty-by-eight centimeters total. Of course, with magic involved, the interior space could be comparable to the Great Hall at Hogwarts for all he knew.

"My Liege," began Ragnok, effectively bringing most of his brain processes to a halt, "this is a great day for both yourself and the Nation. Here is the summary parchment of your Vaulted holdings and property's. This box contains the Signet Rings and Heir Apparent Rings of the Families you either directly control or are Heir to. This book has more detailed information, and is also the new Potter Family Grimiore. In it is the histories of the families and the secrets contained within the Family Magic's. Is there anything else you'd prefer to accomplish today?"

"Only to assign an Account Manager," answered Harry on autopilot, his mind not completely rebooted yet. "I am unaware if Treaty limits Profits for the Nation; in that regard I'd like it if either yourself or Gripsack would bestow upon my House the honor of being Account Manager. If there's no Treaty limit, whomever it is gets free rein with forty percent of the Gold to invest aggressively and gets to retain ten percent of the returns."

"I like you, Wizard," was the immediate response. "Yes, there is a Treaty Limit set at five percent of returns. However, since you've stipulated forty-percent of your capitol for investing, that five percent would make the Ministry for Magic budget for the next decade every business week. I must decline myself, as Treaty also forbids the Director from having direct influence over the clients. Gripsack, on the other hand, is available."

"Offer it to him, and on the _way_ off chance that he declines select a Goblin that you trust the most. It would be bad for business if certain parties could get their hands on my gold," Harry said as he stood, pocketing the book, parchment and box. "That concludes our transaction for today. May your Gold forever increase and your enemies flee in terror."

"May your life be long and your enemies delicious when served at your table," Ragnok replied while bowing ever so slightly. It was refreshing to have a wizard, regardless of name, treat a Goblin in the exact way they wanted.

Harry wasted little time getting from Gringotts to the Leaky Cauldron. Night was moments away, and the denizens of Knockturn Alley were lurking closer to the intersection with Diagon than they did in the day. Getting a room from Tom the barkeep, number eleven, he went there with his dinner order of Sheppard's Pie and chips with two bottles of Butterbeer to wash it down.

Having gotten his gullet stuffed, he pulled out the summary parchment and began to read. He'd not done this in Gringotts for one it was rude, and two he would probably wind up insulting the Liege-Lord of the Goblins questioning their accuracy.

**SUMMARY OF HOLDINGS AND FAMILY TIES**

**Person Tested:**

_**Name: Harry James Potter**_

_**Age: Thirteen (As of day of Heritage Ritual)**_

_**Magical Status: Adult-Unlimited/Unrestricted**_

_**Magical Power (Scale 1-1000): UNKNOWN-Power readings greater than top of scale.**_

_**Abilities:**_

_**Natural Occlumens, Natural Legillimens, Natural Mage, Natural Empath, Natural Animagus, Natural UNKNOWN, Natural UNKNOWN, Natural UNKNOWN, Natural UNKNOWN, Natural (Conquest) Parselmouth, Artificial Soul Anchor**_

**Head of:**

_**Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Potter-BIRTHRIGHT**_

_**Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Emrys-BIRTHRIGHT**_

_**Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Gryffindor-BIRTHRIGHT**_

_**Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Peverell-BIRTHRIGHT**_

_**Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Ravenclaw-Ancestral Will Appointee**_

_**Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Hufflepuff-Ancestral Will Appointee**_

_**Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Slytherin-RITE OF CONQUEST**_

_**Most Noble and Most Ancient House of Black-WILL APPOINTEE**_

_**Most Noble and Ancient House of Bones-WILL APPOINTEE-Patriarchal Family-PACT Between Houses Potter and Bones (Lord James/Lord Edgar)**_

_**Most Noble and Ancient House of McKinnon-WILL APPOINTEE-Patriarchal Family-PACT Between Houses Potter and McKinnon (Lord James/Lord Patrick)**_

_**Most Noble and Ancient House of Jones-WILL APPOINTEE-Patriarchal Family-PACT Between Houses Potter and Jones (Lord James/Lord Roger)**_

_**Most Noble and Ancient House of Lovegood-WILL APPOINTEE-Matriarchal Family-Vassal Pact Between Houses Potter and Lovegood (Lady Lily/Lady Celestine)-CONTROL REVERTS TO DAUGHTER OF LOVEGOOD UPON MATURITY**_

The list of families just kept going. Making a decision while on a loo break to skim that section for now as he needed to read the wills, he looked into what monies he had available.

**Vaulted Holdings:**

_**Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter:**_

_**Vault numbers: 2; 7; 27; 43; 76; 83; 294; 687**_

_**Cash-on-hand (combined):**_

_**876,432,098,654 Galleons**_

_**7,765,321 Sickles**_

_**4,123,098 Knuts**_

_**Numerous twenty gallon barrels full of precious gems.**_

_**487,293 Trunks**_

_**870,583,468 Book/Scroll Collections**_

**Investments/Commercial Properties (Combined; Magical/Mundane)**

_**Diagon Alley-Land built upon (minus Gringotts Territory)-Full**_

_**Knockturn Alley-Land built upon-Full**_

_**Flourish and Blotts: Forty-two percent**_

_**Slug and Juggers: Eighteen percent**_

_**The Quibbler Magazine: Fifty-one percent**_

_**The Three Broomsticks: Twenty percent**_

_**Honeyduke's: Eighty percent**_

_**British Petroleum: Five percent**_

_**Airbus: Thirty percent**_

_**Boeing: Ten percent**_

_**Microsoft: Thirteen percent**_

Just getting to that point Harry felt his eyes were trying to vacate their sockets. It was strange, he knew, but for some reason if felt right that he owned the very land the Alley's were built upon and wondered why nobody had questioned just where the turf they occupied came from. He had a hunch that somewhere along the line, the Ministry boasted some-such nonsense about them owning it thus pilfering the taxes that rightly belonged to him. That, he was going to have to allow to continue for the time being as he had no clue about investments and/or going after those that weren't paying up like they were supposed to or straight stealing from him.

Stealing; that word brought forth a sense of total betrayal and anger in regards to certain individuals in his life. He was not totally surprised by the old Vault access list, which was now invalid after his little jaunt through Goblin Country.

No, it was the fact that he was generous and would help any that asked for it yet those that just took he equated to the Dursley's. It was one thing to be generous himself, but to take it without his knowledge or permission when he'd originally had nothing? Unacceptable.

Dumbledore, or ThimbleDick –one of a plethora of names- as his mind now named him, wasn't that big a shock. After all, the man had a blunt agenda which he called "The Greater Good". While the end-goal wasn't known, as in who would rule, the rest of it was straight forward in that there would be a utopia for Magicals everywhere without fear of the Dark or Mundane. Of course, this was overlooking the old adage that without Dark there can be no Light. And there was absolutely no way that the Mundane's of the world would take their actions laying down nor would they go quietly into the night.

Molly Weasley: all right, part of him could understand why she pilfered a few hundred Galleons here and there. She didn't go overboard like ole ThimbleDick and siphon off millions. She did have a rather large family to care for, and Arthur's salary apparently wasn't enough to cover it all. If she had asked, no problem. Since she didn't, and he would have to see if she brought it up once he saw her again, then not a chance.

Ron: now that was infuriating. All Ron had to do was open his mouth for something other than idiotic comments or food and just like his mother Harry would have helped. But, again, he didn't instead choosing to plunder slightly larger amounts than her for his own personal gain. There would be no forgiveness here, none whatsoever.

Ginny: he saves her life and this is how she repays him, by becoming a thief? A small, and slowly awakening, part of his mind saw her potential beauty a few years down the road but with this discovery all chances were gone. The Life Debt owed was going to become an issue unless he used it to protect himself. How he would or even if he could he knew he had to look into.

Percival: oh now that was a total surprise. Who could imagine that Perfect Prefect Percy could stoop so low? It did explain a few things, like how he was able to afford nice things for Penelope let alone the treats for his owl Hermes. As far as Harry knew, he didn't have a job yet but then again a year makes a lot of difference.

Having thought about it, Harry knew he had enough on Dumbledore and the Weasley's to declare a Line Feud. The keystone of that being the completely false Will that somehow had his signature on it stating an even divide between Dumbledore and the Weasley's should he die without issue – that issue being an Heir of his own.

Shaking his head, he continued to read while taking the occasional drink from his Butterbeer. Some of the families listed he'd never heard of, others he was surprised at because he knew children of said families were in Hogwarts. That particular thought brought his other friend to the forefront of his mind. Finding blank parchment, ink pot and quill in his trunk Harry wrote a letter to her.

_**Crawley**_

"Harry, what has happened to you?" wondered Hermione as she attempted to do her summer homework. The attempt was rather pointless at the time due to the memories of him returning earlier that evening. Sitting at her desk, just to the left of her window she alternated between thousand yard staring the juniper tree outside into submission or checking her book collection again –and again- for any titles that would leap out to grab her attention.

The massive bookcase to her left, which when combined with the desk created a quasi-office, was filled with magical literature of nearly every type. The only things missing were of the Dark variety, since just about everything in that category was illegal by Ministry standards; not that it stopped the Purebloods. There were a few hard-to-find tomes, dealing in Family Magic and how it came to be. These were older versions and as such not nearly as tainted as what the Ministry peddled to the masses nowadays.

Her thoughts paused at the notion of Family Magic. She, after a fair bit of research, was more than aware that the Potter family was an old one. Therefore Harry had Family Magic already, just waiting for his Maturity . . .

"That's it!" she nearly shouted, her mind now crunching scenarios faster than an Acromantula runs. Four of the nine books on Family Magic were quickly spread out over the large oak surface of her desk to which she attempted to read them all at the same time. It was the second one, titled _Family Magic and Their Origins_ that she found more information about the Heritage Ritual and to her great surprise, the Ritual for Birth of Family Magic than what was available in the Hogwarts Library. She knew she was a true First Generation, having compiled a family tree the summer after first year to look for any potential Magicals in her lineage. She got sidetracked by the Birthing Ritual for a few moments as it gave, in great detail, just _how_ Family Magic started in a line.

Seeing that she had just over a year to do so, meaning it had to be done on the day of her sixteenth birthday –the time of the last great surge of her own Maturity-, she shelved the worries that the Ritual brought up to continue looking into Harry's situation. It was then that Hedwig appeared at her window, landing on the sill and tapping on the glass to get her attention.

"Hello girl," greeted Hermione as she opened the window, to which the owl hopped onto the far right hand corner of the desk that held food and water for just this occasion. After offering her leg, which had a letter attached and it was removed, the Snowy Owl set to feeding after her flight.

_Dear Hermione,_

_Hiya! Yes, not the most articulate of greetings, but that's me for you. *cheeky grin* Something odd has happened, which I'm becoming more than aware of affected the whole world. It seems I was out of commission for exactly one year undergoing a Maturity much sooner than recorded in History. What this all entails, well I'm still learning myself. What I have found however is that I'm now considered of Age, without restriction. Before you start on checking my facts, I have sitting just to the left of this parchment the results of my Heritage Ritual done at Gringotts a couple of hours ago, and the Status line says just that – Adult, Unlimited/Unrestricted. I'll let you read it once we can get together. I'm at the Cauldron, room eleven._

_Things are not as they seem Hermione. Dumbledore, and a quartet of Weasley's, have been pilfering gold out of my trust vault. If it weren't on auto-refill thanks to my Dad I'd be long since broke. Molly I can understand, kind of, in regards to the size of the family she's taken care of on Arthur's salary. Percy, Ron and Ginny however have no excuse for this theft and there WILL be a reckoning. It's the concept, you know, of just taking from somebody that grew up with nothing without asking. You know me, I'd gladly help those that ask._

_Speaking of, I really need your help! It looks like many of the Light Families –and a few of questionable alignment- had zero faith in the last War ending in their favor and made various pacts with House Potter. I now find myself in control of MANY families, even some that I know have kids our age at school. Please, come as soon as you can!_

_Looking forward to seeing you,_

_Harry_

It was far too late to head to the Leaky Cauldron now and Hermione knew it. Deciding that Harry was far more important than homework –a decision that would shock her parents if they knew-, she organized her trunk and began packing. While the next term letters had yet to arrive, she had little doubts about being extra busy with both getting Harry caught up for the year he missed and answering his call for help. Unbidden, the Birthing Ritual resurfaced in her thoughts and she gave a mental nod that, once it was as researched as could be, Harry would be the one to carry it out for her. Her silent vow was too close to literal, resulting in a pulse of magic sealing it. In her distracted state, she was completely unaware of it.

_**0700 July 31, Leaky Cauldron, Room Eleven**_

Harry awoke to the rumblings of a passing train, shaking some of the dust out of the rafters and revealing why the rooms had canopy beds. An instinctual, and not completely awake, wave of the hand cleaned the room in an instant. He did note that Hedwig had returned sometime in the night, however he was unaware just how she had gotten in through the closed window.

Leaving well enough alone, he set about the Wizard's Morning Ritual which was a literal thing. While the Mundane's called their routine a ritual, for a Magical it entailed more than the morning visit to the loo and shower. First came the flexing and stretching, as it was described, of the magic within. This was done in the loo for a reason as the pulses cleansed the body of the gunk that accumulated in the night. Next came a minor Purification Ritual which took place in the shower. Doing so in the bath was not recommended without filtering of the water due to what was forced out of the skin.

So while he set about getting his morning started, his mind returned to the letter he'd sent the previous evening. He felt bad about asking Hermione for help, even though he hadn't seen her in a year. He knew that the sabbatical wasn't his fault nor even his idea, but the feeling remained. Still, it'd be nice to see her again.

Wandering over to his trunk, the thought came to mind that now that he was Dursley free he ought to do some shopping for real clothes and not these whale coverings that doubled as rags. Since it appeared that he was going to be thrust into the political arena he figured he might as well look the part. Glancing out the window into the Alley, he caught sight of a blonde haired girl skipping along without a care in the world. This brought a small smile to his face, looking at what he perceived to be normalcy before spying a couple of early-riser Ravenclaws that he was aware of from his time in Hogwarts approach her.

The smile left his face in an instant when he took note of their positioning, having been in a similar circle himself. Deciding then to do something about the obvious bullying going on he donned a loose set of school robes and flexed his magic. Seeing the perfect billowing effect that he was looking for, he stormed out the door.

"Well if it isn't Loony Lovegood," Cho Chang declared with a sing-song, her clique of friends quickly surrounding the younger girl. There were very few adults out and about – those that were, were not fully awake to take in the situation or in a hurry to get where they were going and didn't rightly care. "Still not a friend to find eh, Loony?"

"Oh please," came the voice of Marietta Edgecombe, "you give this tosser too much credit Cho. First off, nobody wants her. Secondly, nobody can tolerate her. Thirdly, she's a complete mental case."

"Feh, even her mother left her," chimed in Sara Fawcett, going for the low blow to get a reaction out of the normally dreamy-eyed girl; Sara was following the crowd on this endeavor. While the seven girls laughed, some going so far as to start shoving young Lovegood around, they indeed got a reaction; just not from their target.

"Shove off, the lot of you!" thundered a male voice, causing everybody in the Alley to turn to the speaker. The first thought to go through many minds was that somehow Snape had lost some of his height before the raven's nest of hair and narrowed emerald green eyes gave away whom was currently charging down the lane.

"What's it to you, Potter?" Marietta was fearless, having stared down Snape on more than one occasion, or tried to at any rate. This proved to be her undoing when he made a gesture and silenced her.

"No excuses," he snarled, coming to a stop next to the young girl he had seen earlier. His robes continued to billow even after stopping his movement. "Ravenclaws indeed, smartest of the lot yet I see this. Slytherins have more common sense than you lot, at least they try to do this from the shadows and not get caught. Shove off, and know that she is under the protection of House Potter! I get wind of any of this behavior again, and there will be hell to pay!"

The magic flare that accompanied his statement was enough to send the other 'Claws running for the Cauldron, to either Floo out or enter London to escape the irate Wizard.

"Why?" was the quiet question posed to Harry after the others had fled, shocking him enough to drop the magic sustaining the billowing robes. He took a long look at her from the corner of his right eye before answering.

"Because I was treated the same way," he finally murmured, keeping his voice low so that the others in the Alley wouldn't overhear. "Damned bullies, useless lot they are." Then he changed topics to something much safer. "So, where are you headed on this lovely morning?"

Luna lost some of her dreamy-expression for a moment, caught completely unawares by her 'savior'. She knew next to nothing about Harry Potter, and yet here he was saving the damsel in distress as it were without hesitation because it was the right thing to do. Trusting her instincts, and her magic, she decided to open up to him. She was mindful of the Maturity he'd undergone, and knew for a fact that what he had said rang true about being a Protectorate House. Her parents, in the last war, had made a Vassal Pact with House Potter so that if anything happened to either Celestine or Xenophilius Lovegood their crowning achievement – Luna – would be taken in. Ole Xeno knew of the Pact, even though the House he'd married into was of the Matriarchal type. Even though James and Lily had died eight years before Celestine, the Pact was still valid due to Harry being older by roughly a month and a half; she being born September 21, 1980. Having explained to his daughter what her duties as a Vassal, and if he declared it Protectorate, House under the Potter banner were he just had to hope that the boy knew of his responsibilities. Xeno, like many other surviving parents/guardians of the last war, had no idea what had happened to young Harry after that dreadful Halloween night which raised questions about his knowledge of the Families, the Pacts and those whom had no Heir by birth but Willed their Line to the sole Potter.

The odd duo had turned in the direction of Madame Malkin's, in search of better clothing for Harry. Their trek through the early morning in Diagon was slow as they talked in low tones, not wanting their conversation to be overheard. Luna was pleasantly surprised to learn that yes, Harry did know of the Lovegood Pact and Celestine's Last Wishes which gave him the duty of being her 'opener' on her fifteenth birthday. She had the Lovegood Family Magic in her veins, but in order for it to be unlocked her Core had to be touched by a non-family member Wizard Core. As a safeguard to prevent the Magic from being stolen, Celestine had insured that the Pact had the proviso on Harry being the only one to be able to 'open' Luna's Core.

Luna did have to explain the difference in the Heritage Ritual's for males and females. While the Wizards could simply saunter into Gringotts or make use of a Ritual Room in their Manor, the Witches had to have their Core 'opened' at the time when it was most susceptible to outside interference. To Harry's great embarrassment, the only method for doing so was sex and hence why a non-family member was required.

Steering away from the fairly heavy and uncomfortable conversation, the duo went shopping. Harry was grateful for the company but had to restrain himself from barking at Luna and her odd wardrobe choices. Once he had the clothes he wanted, at least on this side of the Cauldron, they continued around the Alley browsing and picking up objects at random. Finding the Goldmine Series Fifty Compartment Mobile Apartment Trunk was cool but too excessive for Harry's tastes –the name stemmed from the price-tag, equal to a goldmine. A simple five compartment worked out perfectly, with the expansion charms that made the inside of each compartment roughly the size of his room at the Cauldron. Finding the furnishings in the next store over led to Wardrobe, Library, Potions, Personal Items and Mini-Vault being the compartments of choice. The whole thing was locked to his blood and magical signature, making it impossible for anyone else to open the trunk. It came with the standardized Feather-Light and Shrinking Charms, although Harry was surprised to learn that the Shrinking Charm could stop at virtually any size from a book to a speck of dust if he so desired. He was glad for that information, and visualized a matchbook then tapped the now full of recent purchases trunk. As advertized, the trunk assumed that size to which he was able to pick it up and pocket it.

"Let's go grab some grub," he offered casually, finally taking note that in his rush out the door he had missed breakfast. That thought led to a realization that he had no clue is she had eaten before heading from home.

"Wow, time flies," Luna said while producing a pocket watch from . . . somewhere, "I'm meeting Daddy in about an hour, so lunch sounds lovely."

Harry merely gestured in the direction of the Cauldron before beginning to head in that direction. As they walked in silence, he fell into contemplation on the day so far. He had heard whisperings about Luna –to him- last year being round the twist, over the bend and a few bricks short of a castle. Their conversation revealed a much deeper side to her that anybody else bar her father knew about. He was well aware that any conversation with her at Hogwarts would have involved vague creatures and off-hand comments at inappropriate times as her way of keeping people from getting too close. The loss of her mother was still recent and fresh, thus leading her to act the way she did. The public, and her dorm-mates, never knew that she still had night terrors or sudden bouts of depression caused by witnessing Celestine's death and would for years to come. The only reason he had sussed about the terrors was his own nightmares about That Night.

He was so lost in thought that he never noticed the archway to the Alley nor the backdoor to the Cauldron. A missile with a bushy-haired warhead brought him back to reality though.

"It's so good to see you, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed into his shoulder, where she had buried her face to hide her tears. This caused her voice to be muffled and was lost in the background noise of the patrons around them; meaning only her target and Luna heard her.

"Have you eaten yet?" he wondered, taking in that today was a busy day as the place was nearly packed. While taking in the surroundings he was overjoyed at being reunited with his best friend, a term he now knew with magic to _not_ throw around lightly. That thought brought up others about the other and now former best friend Ron. Harry knew that Magic itself would be punishing the Ginger for his misdeeds, and it was only going to get worse as time went on until Weasley figured out what was happening and used Parlay to formally break from him. The quirk was that nobody, not even his family nor Head of House, could tell him about the need to have a mutual break of the status.

"Not yet, I just got a room here," her voice interrupted his thought process. Not that he cared, as thinking about Weasley's in general right now was aggravating his ire. When she finally looked up from his right shoulder, she was surprised to see Luna standing on that side of him looking awkward at her intrusion of a private moment.

"Let's get some lunch then and head up to my room," Harry offered, breaking the slight tension between the two girls. It was not lost on either of them that he was inviting them both up and not favoring one over the other.

Having placed their orders, and being assured by Tom that it would be delivered upstairs, the trio went up to room eleven. Upon entering the room Harry fished his new trunk out and restored it to the original size.

"You'll get in trouble for that!" Hermione leapt all over the magic usage, not wanting to be separated from him again like the previous year.

"Um, we're in the midst of a Magic Rich environment," Luna hinted subtly, even knowing that Harry was considered in the eyes of Magic to be an adult and thus exempt from the Underage laws. To prove her point she used her wand to open the window with a levitation charm, before banishing the Dursley rags not on Harry out said window.

Half an hour went by with no owls bearing Ministry letters, although there were plenty of shouts below from the sudden rain of worn-out clothing. The range of emotions on Hermione's face included but were not limited to abject fear, confusion, understanding and rage.

"Yes, it's unfair," Harry read her face like a book, heading off the rant that was certainly about to commence. "Unless of course we destroy the Ministry Detection Grid which has holes in it for the Magic Rich areas that would otherwise overload it then there's not a lot we can do about it. Besides, if you think about it, the Underage Laws are about getting the First Generations used to the Secret and _keeping it_. You know how we children are, we learn something 'cool' and we want to show it! While it does offer those in the know an advantage, it also helps us learn discretion and gets us used to the Statute of Secrecy."

"In other words, if us Muggle-borns were clued in the Purebloods would lose their advantage?" she asked, looking from Harry to Luna and back. She could tell by the look of distaste that had appeared on Harry's face when she said 'Muggle-born' that he didn't like that term at all. Luna, on the other hand, was smiling slightly instead of verbally answering.

"The inbreeding of the last four hundred years is catching up to them," he answered, ecstatic that Hermione was using her logic to think and not her emotions. "It's a statistical fact that First Generations and Half-bloods do not produce Squibs. Purebloods, on the other hand, average four per family. There are obvious . . . _exceptions_ . . . to that fact, but the truth is without fresh, _uncontaminated_, blood Magic itself would cease to exist. That's why there are more and more Firsts being born every year, to make up the difference in what the Purebloods are losing."

"My family is Matriarchal," Luna chimed in at this point, adding to the conversation. There was something about Harry –or to be precise, his magic- that prevented her backslide into her defensive measures. "Thus, when I was born my parents simply stopped trying for more children. The Weasley's," she ignored the sudden scowling of the other two, "are Patriarchal while the Prewitt's were also Matriarchal hence why they have stopped cranking out the children. Arthur got his Heir with William, Molly finally got hers with Ginerva. Otherwise, in the example of Arthur marrying a Half-blood or a First Generation, he would have put his foot down at one, maybe two children. Charlie, Percival, the Twins and especially Ronald have no hope of inheriting much when Arthur passes on."

"So is that why _he_ thinks the world owes him something?" Hermione snarled, catching Harry by surprise. While hearing about the very family he didn't want to think about was an irritant, and their actions towards him even more so, he had no idea what could have brought forth this much vitriol from her.

"Tell me," was his demand, his face becoming stony at the thoughts running through his mind. While he had demanded it, his voice was surprisingly light for the tone of their conversation. He noticed that their food had arrived, and after making certain the girls had their meals began to eat.

The tale of the previous year at Hogwarts was retold, and Luna's 'outsider' perspective put a spin on things. Harry was immensely proud of Neville for sticking with Hermione at the cost of what little confidence and friendships he had. He was enraged to learn what Ronald had been spouting off at the mouth with. That rage grew when he learned about his actions in the previous summer and Molly's subsequent _persona-non-grata_ which was a very serious thing in the Magical World. Then the focus shifted over to Luna herself and what the Ravenclaws were doing to her.

"Drat," Luna suddenly said, having glanced at the ancient clock in the corner to avoid that topic. "I'm running late to meet with Daddy and I've gotta go. Will either of you be in the Alley tomorrow?"

"Apparently I've got choices on a house or several but I'll still be here figuring it out," was Harry's response while Hermione simply shifted closer to his person by way of answering.

Luna started for the door before turning around and hugging the both of them. With a bounce in her step she was gone, leaving the pair alone. Not wasting any time, Harry promptly produced the Summary parchment for her to read at her leisure while finishing her lunch. As she read, and had the ever-present threat of her eyes leaving their sockets, he moved his Hogwarts supplies from his old trunk to the new one.

"Are the Goblins certain this is correct?" she finally questioned, looking up only to find Harry engaged in her favorite pastime – reading. She saw the title, _Standard Book of Spells – Grade Four_, and had to wonder why he wasn't looking into the third year material.

"First, they are _always_ correct in these matters due to Treaty," he answered after marking his place with a quill. "Second, to answer the question on your mind there is a precedent for sudden Maturities that interrupt education, automatically passing those for their time missed with Exceeds Expectations. Since I was out all year, that should mean I got all EE's. That does _not_ mean, however, that I know the material. Yes, this may come back to haunt me but studying the third year syllabus is, personally, a waste of time. Not to mention that you've seen Luna and myself performing magic's above our year, simply because those are relatively _easy_ spells that could be taught to a first year. Banishing, Summoning and Vanishing are all fourth year spells yet they have very simple intent behind them. _Go away to…; Come here_ or simply _Go away_. The only reason for the wait on learning them is the control and power required."

The logic behind that last statement made perfect sense and Hermione had to question herself as to why she never thought of it that way before. Deciding to shelve that line of thought, she turned towards his education statement.

"What about the electives?"

"Those don't apply, unfortunately," was his answer. "Because they are _elective_ and not of the Core classes I'm a year behind in whatever courses I choose."

"Makes sense, that and every other Maturity has happened after the beginning of at least fourth year," she said more to herself by way of thinking out loud than actually talking to Harry.

"My belief is that Maturity is what gave Voldemort a real taste for power," he theorized. "Before his fourth year he was not . . . eh, '_running_' . . . down the Dark Path. He actually missed the first two months of Fourth Year because he was undergoing his own Maturity as the last of the Slytherin line. Once he had that taste, well . . ."

_Yes_, she thought, _no need to explain further than that. It does make sense too, what with You-Know-Who giving the same line over and over about power. It also explains why as a Half-blood he championed the Pureblood Supremacy Movement; if he had that much Family Magic waiting then surely the others do too._

The duo fell silent for a time as they returned to reading. Hermione had dug up her Family Magic books looking to understand the Vassal Pacts and just how it was possible to Will a line onto another. It did enter her mind that to be able to continue these lines Harry would have to have more than one wife for practicality purposes due to needing so many heirs. Those that had daughters simply wouldn't take on the Potter name, while he would have to actively look for those willing to forsake their own Family Magic or be a First Born to take the name of each Line. Plus one more for his own House. The implications were raising her ire, to the point she finally burst.

"Harry James Potter! This is absolutely barbaric!"

His reaction was one that she didn't expect. Instead of waffling, stammering and bending to her will he calmly replaced the quill bookmark then picked the front cover up. With a flutter of parchment and a _WHUMP_ the book was shut to which he leaned forward. Both elbows landed on the table, fingers interlaced then stopped in front of his face. The pose left from his eyes up visible. Then he tilted his head slightly and the light reflected off his glasses.

She shuddered.

He had delivered a perfect Ikari Death Glare, Seated Variation. And held it.

She panicked.

"I'msorrypleasedon'tbemadatme . . . it'sjustthatyouhavetohaveaharemtocontinuethelines! "

It slowly dawned on her that he was more than a Lord of a House; he was one of the few true Magic Lords. His was _the_ House, dating back to before Merlin – the Peverell's dated back to the beginning of History it seemed.

"Hermione," he finally spoke, still holding The Pose of Death, "I don't mind you playing the part of my conscious most of the time. But instead of yelling at me, how about asking me if I know what I'm getting into? Then we could have a _civilized_ conversation about whatever it is that's bothering you, letting logic and facts win out. Being passionate about a subject is one thing, going mad on someone is something else."

She nodded so fast he was suddenly afraid of her head falling off of her neck. His Will Be Done was her motto now, as he finally dropped his arms revealing a smile.

"Now, could you repeat your statement? I didn't understand it."

"Have you looked at the End of Line laws?" she countered, taking what he'd said about asking questions to be a direct order. She hadn't failed to notice when he'd spoken his magic had flared.

"Actually, no I haven't," was his response, eyebrows creeping upwards. "I have a feeling that you've at least looked them up before just to have the knowledge. My gut is telling me that I'm not going to like your answer, so I'll say this now: I'm not mad at you. I'm not even mad at the world per se. Just something else that takes me far away from 'normal'."

_**0750 August 8, 1994; Wizengamot Chambers; Ministry of Magic**_

Albus Dumbledore sat behind the Chief Warlock dais, surveying the gathering House Representatives and Proxies like a Battalion Commander looks over a battlefield. The Summer Session was about to commence, and it appeared that there was something afoot. It wasn't completely obvious, even to his trained eye, what it was but the Lords and Ladies were jumpy for some reason –it mattered not their alignment in magic.

Having so many job titles was at first, something to be proud of. One of the problems he encountered on a regular basis was that there was simply too much to keep track of with the time available. Case in point, since the term let out of Hogwarts on June Thirtieth, he had yet to set foot in his office there to check his instruments that monitored certain individuals. He'd been distracted by the surge of memories in regards to young Potter for the last eight days, nearly letting some underhanded agendas get passed his normally keen intellect. There was no way he could reschedule the I.C.W. _and_ Wizengamot sessions as it'd been an uphill battle to get them set in the two months the school was closed, with openings for any events that the members wanted to attend –like the upcoming Quidditch World Cup at the end of the month.

Internally shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he took note of the time then fired a few mild cannon blasts from his wand. It was as the Lords and Ladies sat that he found what the hubbub was about.

The Potter Seat was occupied.

"The Summer Session of the Wizengamot in the Ninety-Fourth Year of the Twentieth Century will now convene. Before we resume our debates from the Winter Session, is there any new business?" Dumbledore's voice dominated the Meeting Hall, all attention locked on the cloaked figure in the Potter Seat.

There was no surprise when the green gemstone attached to the small desk at that very seat lit up. Nobody else so much as twitched, wondering if the person currently hiding their face was young Potter or not.

"Chair recognizes The House Potter," Albus nearly deadpanned, having scanned the room only to find everybody else as entranced as he was.

The figure rose from the leather chair, whomever it was being a shorter person. This ratcheted the excitement level up a few notches, which continued to rise as the figure bowed its head then reached for the hood of the cloak.

The first thing Dumbledore saw, as the hood was lowered, was the raven's nest of hair. Hair that was infamous amongst the Magical World as a trademark of the Potters.

'_Crap.'_

"I come before the Lords and Ladies of the Wizengamot to claim what is rightfully mine by Birthright and by the ancient Rite of Conquest," Harry said with a firm voice, his eyes traveling around the Hall. The whispering and murmuring had started at his appearance but increased tenfold at the Rite. There was only one individual that qualified for that.

"Before things get out of hand," he continued, zeroing in on other Proxies and not a few Heads of House, "Is this august body aware of the Pacts made to my House during the last war?"

Silence. While many of the members had eyes bulging at this very public calling out –complete with squirming-, not knowing what Harry actually knew of the situation prevented them from talking.

"I'll take that as a _no_. Those of you that are in the know, or are in position to let the Family you represent know, have no fear. I will honor the Pacts as they were originally Oath-bonded."

'_SHITE! HE KNOWS!'_ internally raged Dumbledore, knowing full well that if –when this became public it'd cause many problems. He was of two minds about this however. When the public found out and Harry had no clue, Albus' house of cards would come tumbling down. Then again, if Harry was in the know then he would have to deal with the raging masses when they figured out he now dominated the legislation. The only reason Dumbledore himself knew was because Lily wanted to rant about how backwards the Magicals were. Ah, the joys of Muggle-Borns and their ideals that in the end get stamped out anyway.

"House Potter does forthwith lay claim to the Birthrights and Ancient Appointees to the Houses of Peverell, Emrys, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff."

Outrage and not a bit of confusion. That statement got the members moving as it were, and not in a good way for Harry. Those Houses had been 'empty' –for lack of a better phrase- for a thousand years and he just ended that.

Harry was irritated, and it showed when his magic pulsed bringing instant quiet to the Meeting Hall. Every member was subjected to his emerald eyed stare, before he dropped another bombshell.

"By Rite of Conquest, House Potter lays claim to House Slytherin via thrice defeat of its final Lord: Tom Marvolo Riddle." This was met by confused looks all around, except for the Chief Warlock. Dumbledore was slouching in his seat, making himself a smaller target.

"Does nobody know Tom Riddle? I exclude the Chief Warlock from that question as he taught him at Hogwarts," Harry wondered, his voice betraying his surprise that this information wasn't public. He looked around and was met with head shaking all the way around.

"I shall demonstrate then."

Forgetting about needing a wand he _Flagrate_'d the full name in the air with his right index finger. The Hall was taken with this display of power, even if it was unintentional. With a wave of his hands the anagram appeared and the screams started.

"Are you kidding me?!" he thundered, now thoroughly annoyed and bringing attention back to himself. "Not one of you, even those that embrace the Darker side of life, ever questioned where this madman came from?! You've all been fooled!" he had to take a moment to calm down as yelling wouldn't accomplish much. "Tom Riddle; son of Merope Gaunt –witch, and Thomas Riddle –Mundane. Your bloody Dark Lord is a Half-blood. Even more so than I am, at least both of my parents were Magicals, forget that my Mum was a First-Born."

Eyes were wide all around the Hall with the noted exception of the Chief Warlock. It didn't take long for the Lords and Ladies to notice this, and they started to really fume.

"You knew this Dumbledore?" demanded Augusta Longbottom, rage plain as day on her normally neutral façade. "You _knew this_ and never bothered to bring it up?!"

"Dowager Longbottom, be civil please," was the rebuke instead of an answer to her question. Time for some damage control and diversions. "As for your claims Mister Potter, you are not of age yet and cannot sit your seat."

"Wrong," Harry retorted without pause, producing a receipt from Gringotts. "The Goblins ran me through a Heritage Ritual after my unexpected Maturity. Oh yes, we'll be talking about that later. Magic itself sees me as an Adult, Laws are only written by beings. In the eyes of the Goblins, I've _come into mine_ and have unlimited access to my accounts."

If the receipt wasn't proof enough, the Notice-Me-Not on the Signet Rings lifted revealing that what he was saying was true.

"Now then, Dowager Longbottom," he continued, "I found the information the easy way. Riddle told me his birth name in my Second Year, and just this morning I wandered into the Department of Magical Census to find a birth record. I don't fault anybody, bar the Chief Warlock for not volunteering the information, for not looking around for it. After all, anagrams are of the Mundane invention. Although why anybody thought he was born with that made up name is beyond me."

There was a collective cringe from the Assembly at being taken to task by a fourteen year old, even if he was of _The House_.

Lucius Malfoy was fuming. While the Supremacy Movement had gone underground after That Night in eighty-one, it was still pushing its agenda and the information revealed today was going to set them back _centuries_. Perhaps allowing some of those Mud-bloods a seat here would be a good idea in the future as they would have caught on to this from the get-go. Then those of the power could go eliminate the threat before it cost them so much.

"Be fortunate, those that followed Riddle," rumbled Harry, bringing the focus back onto his person, "for I am not casting the _Praedia Bellica_. Yes, I am more than capable of it both with my morals and my Magic. Now then, I do believe I've taken enough of our valuable time today. What say you to my Claims and my sitting the House Potter chair?"

He was of _The House_, there was only one of two things the members could do. Either vote yes or not at all; it was of little surprise that the Hall lit up in a sea of green gemstones.

_**1900; Same day; Leaky Cauldron Room Eleven**_

"They're a bunch of baboons," Harry grumbled over his dinner while using an auto-copy quill to write up the notice of a meeting between the Pact Houses at Potter Battlements. He had finally decided to move there, to the ancestral home that was a Castle/Fortress of the Babylonian type. No matter the methods, the place could survive a siege of biblical proportions with ease. "Well, except Ladies Abbot, Longbottom and Bones," he amended his statement slightly upon reflection. Some of the other Pact Houses were either not present or silent thus giving him no feel for whomever was in charge of each.

"Be nice to the baboons," Luna chastised him, "It's not fair to the rest of the species to lump them with politicians."

This earned a loud guffaw from Harry and Hermione, causing a slight interruption in their meal. He'd just spent the last hour going over the Wizengamot meeting, knowing he had another two weeks of sheer idiocy and boredom to look forward to. Then he'd get to do something exciting at the end of the month: see the Quidditch World Cup.

"Bah! You shoulda seen Malfoy's face when I mentioned the _Praedia Bellica_! Priceless!"

Both girls abruptly stopped laughing to stare at him, making him highly uncomfortable.

"Harry, you do _know_ what that spell does?" Hermione was in fine form now, tilting her voice slightly so that the question sounded like a threat. Now that she knew how to behave around him without the emotional outbursts of old, she could demonstrate her passions without getting The Pose in response.

"Of course I do," he replied, looking affronted, "it's in my Grimiore after all. All I did was inform Riddle's former followers that I'm not about to use it even though I can. It's a Slytherin move, y'know? Demonstrate that you have the power to ruin but elect not to while keeping the power hanging over their heads like a Sword of Damocles. Besides that, I don't want to deal with the fallout using that spell would produce."

"Ah," was all she could come back with, now knowing what his intentions were. Now she could indeed laugh about the possible look on Malfoy's –and by extension, the other 'former' follower's- face.

"Very shrewd, Harry," Luna complimented with a golf clap. Her upbringing included lessons on how to handle the Wizengamot. If you have something on even a minority, use it to your advantage. With what he'd dumped on them about Riddle –she was too uncomfortable to use Voldemort- he effectively neutered the Assembly for the time being. Now it came down to keeping his head above board so that they couldn't turn the tables.

"Dumbledore is off his game," Hermione further expounded. "Just by following what you've done today he could have prevented a vast majority of the loses in the last war. As a leader, he should have done so. Instead he let the Magical populace flounder like a fish out of water."

"Question is, for what reason?" agreed Luna, the two tops-of-their-years putting their heads together to try to crunch this problem.

"Ah, the great question: _why_," Harry nodded sagely, knowing he was getting into territory out of his depth. He was raised with the motion to not ask questions. Well, that was going to have to stop. After all, if he was going to survive this madness and life in general he'd better get cracking to get the answers.

Two hours had passed with no real headway made. A key piece of the puzzle was missing, several in fact. Harry was holding one of them but hadn't realized it until it was time for Luna to head on home.

"I got this from Algeron Croaker," he said at length, revealing the short missive. "Says there's something in the Department of Mysteries that I need to see him about. Any ideas?"

"The only known place within that Department is the Hall of Prophesy . . .," she trailed off, her eyes going ever larger than normal. "Harry, there must be an active Prophesy concerning you down there. It's the only reason you'd get a missive from the Head of the Unspeakables."

"But Divination is rubbish!" Hermione immediately counter-argued, having a very bad feeling that if what Luna said was true then there stood a very good chance of dark times ahead.

"Maybe Trelawney is rubbish, but not the subject," the blond calmly countered; even though she did give the evil eye. "Ever heard of the Seers of Delphi? That's genuine Divination at work."

"I'll look into it tomorrow before the Session," Harry interrupted the debate before it could get out of hand. "In the mean time, I'm off to the Battlements. I'll key you two in as soon as I get there, and we can continue this over dinner in the evening."

Knowing that he'd effectively shut them down for the night, both girls engulfed him on a hug before heading out of his room. While the Cauldron was nice, he wanted somewhere private to be and the Battlements offered total seclusion from the rest of the world.

"All right Dobby, take me home," he said to an empty room after a wave of his hand packed his belongings. He'd already settled the bill at dinner and had Tom's permission to leave directly from the room.

_Pop!_

"At once Master Harry Potter Sir!"

TBC

End of chapter notes:

Much better, if I do say so myself. That, and going over what I've previously done with the comb is a good thing.


	3. Magical Maturity 2

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Magical Maturity, Arc One Part Two

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_**0600 August 9, 1994; Potter Battlements**_

Harry awoke the next morning feeling refreshed. This sensation was still new to him, having only experienced it for the past ten days. As he set about getting his day started, he reflected on the Wizengamot session the day before and knew there were going to be questions asked today; now that the Lords and Ladies had the chance to digest the information he crammed down their throats. Taking the opportunity he had to watch the sun rise from his bedroom window, which shed light on the far distant wall/property boundary. From here, it looked at the most three centimeters tall at the apex of the old guard towers.

Having travelled via Elf, he had yet to wander down the drive to see just how tall it actually was. Nor did he have any idea on any potential weak points, seeing as in the last couple to live at the Battlements was Charlus and Dorea Potter, his paternal grandparents. He now knew how they had died, and as usual in the Magical Realm it was not as the Prophet reported. Dragon Pox indeed; the Mundane's would have noticed something like that in Eighty-Two, for their medical science was really starting to move at that point.

The breeze shifted, switching the smell from the trees of the forest to the east to humid salt from the south. Harry was instantly excited, for that meant the ocean was very near. He was tempted, oh so sorely tempted, to grab his recently bought Firebolt and find the source of that enchanting smell but decided not to until he had a much better lay of the land. He could also see a rather large stable from his room, and had a moment of brilliance as far as he was concerned: take Hermione and Luna out riding to see the property! Any doubts about not having the horses was quickly put to rest when four awoke with the sunrise and wandered into the paddock to find breakfast.

"Food," he said to nobody, having the urge to find his own grub to really get his morning going. Quickly finishing with dressing, he charged out the door to the informal dining room on this floor, the fifth room he'd entered since his arrival.

The first housed the Ward-stone for the entire plot of land, it being a massive half kilometer sphere of pure granite. He knew, from an Elf by the name of Wobbles, that the Corner-stones were just as large and just as covered in the various Runes working in tandem to make the Ward Set. The reason he'd had to visit the here first was to key himself in by blood-letting on the master rune.

The second room he'd visited was the Master Office, which had the 'controls' for the wards and the Access Book. The book controlled who came, went and even knew the place existed to which he deleted all previous entries before adding not only the girls and their families, but those of the Pacts.

The third and fourth rooms were the Master Suite and Master Bath, to the right of the Office at the end of a rather long hallway. The informal dining room was again to the right of these, buffering the Master Rooms from the rest of the floor.

Having eaten his breakfast, knowing it was too early in the morning for the _Daily Prophet_ to arrive, he made preparations for the session and made to leave by heading for the Library.

_**0750, Same Day, Wizengamot Chambers**_

Harry sat at the desk that denoted his position within the Chambers, looking about the auditorium to match faces to names. Malfoy was easy enough to find, his silver/platinum blond hair a dead giveaway. Dowager Longbottom, minus her vulture hat, was in a small gathering of Pact families discussing some issue or another, most likely getting a feel for them as her House was allied to his. Lord Parkinson was doing the same as Harry, getting a feel for the room while occasionally leaning over to his left to talk to Lord Greengrass or his right to talk to Lord Nott.

One thing that the Lords and Ladies knew was that Harry was not a happy camper. The only thing currently saving them from the Pose was that Dumbledore had yet to arrive, no doubt at Hogwarts trying to understand what has happened of late.

As if on cue the Chief Warlock appeared behind his dais, and was an instant victim to the Pose of Death. What amplified it was that the Potter Seat was on the opposite side of the Chambers, at the same elevation as the dais with a candelabra hanging between them. The light was reflecting off of young Potter's glasses again, giving him a very sinister look.

The Lords and Ladies took notice of the Pose immediately, and had no wish to be on the receiving end of it.

"Chief Warlock," began Harry, his voice not muffled in the least by his clasped hands supporting his head, "would you care to explain to me what I found in the Department of Mysteries?"

Dumbledore reared back as if he'd been hit in the face with a fresh trout while his mouth took on the shape of having bitten into a particularly sour grapefruit. Everything he had worked for since he'd lost his sister was coming undone at a rather rapid pace.

"What do you mean?" he tried to stall for time and regain composure.

"Ignorance is not befitting, especially to a man of your intelligence," was the rebuke, nose and mouth still hidden behind Harry's hands. To further his point, he produced –by way of pure wandless magic- and enlarged a parchment-tag that had faded in the decade it had been exposed to the stagnate air of what many dubbed the Basement of the Ministry.

_S.P.T to A.P.W.B.D – Dark Lord and ? (Harry Potter)_

"A Prophecy tag?!" burst Amelia Bones, having knowledge of those from being in charge of the DMLE. The tone of her voice gave away that she'd dealt with one of the things herself at some point.

"I had a very similar reaction," Harry calmly said, his focus apparently never leaving Dumbledore. "Of course, I have to wonder at the validity of this as I know, after a little digging, just who _S.P.T_ is: Sybill Patricia Trelawney."

"That hack actually made a viable prophecy?!" demanded Lucius Malfoy. Even though he'd lost his place on the Hogwarts Board of Governors he was still interested in finding anything to use against the Headmaster.

"Oh, but that's not all to this," he rejoined, hiding the surprise he felt at the unexpected back-up in the form of Malfoy Senior. "Notice that smudge on the tag?" He was referring to a blot just below the initials of the Chief Warlock. "A complex _Confundus_ is what that actually is."

Still not moving a muscle the tag enlarged slightly before the smudge vanished.

_S.P.T to A.P.W.B.D & S.T.S (Partial)_

"Now I know who pointed Riddle at my parents," Harry gravely finished, still not releasing the Pose. "And if Severus Tobias Snape comes within range outside of neutral territory I will kill him. The Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Potter does henceforth declare Blood Feud with the Ancient and Noble House of Prince; so say I, so mote it be."

Alignment with magic mattered not as the Chambers erupted with noise at the declaration of war between the Houses. Granted, at this point it would be a one-on-one war between the last scions but it mattered not. Not even House Slytherin had dared to use the Blood Feud clause that predated the construction of Hogwarts to circa the Dark Ages.

Those of Light were shouting at both Harry for charging into this with the intention to cause death and Dumbledore to do something to prevent said death.

Those of Dark were shouting at Harry for daring to take on one of their own, and leaving the door open for any allied houses to counter-declare on his House.

The noise stopped from a concussion wave that emanated from Harry, his gaze still locked on Dumbledore.

"Please, give me a reason," he deadpanned. "Do you fools not remember my threat yesterday about the _Praedia Bellica_? Any chance to destroy Riddle's followers I will leap on, _if given enough reason to_. If you ally with House Prince, fine. Death will be your only option. Voldemort couldn't kill me, what makes you think _you_ can? Especially with the Prophecy in play."

"You listened to it?" Dumbledore wondered, not even attempting to get the day's session started.

"A demonstration is in order then," was the response, eyes zeroing in on Malfoy breaking the Pose of Death. "You _so_ wanted to try after the Chamber fiasco. This one time, and one time only, I'll give you a free shot. Punishment-free even, without the standard shenanigans to get out of it."

The rest of the Assembly looked absolutely confused by this, even as Harry finally dropped his hands revealing a smirk.

"I'll even keep Dobby from launching you across the room," he taunted, hoping that he was pushing the right buttons.

"Deal!" Lucius leapt all over the chance to finish what his Master had started all those years ago. Narcissa, camped in the Black Seat, shook her head sadly –this to avoid face-palming- yet kept quiet. It had been bad enough for her husband to lose the elf, but to be outsmarted by a then twelve year old? Pathetic didn't begin to describe how she felt about that.

Lady Bones tried to object but found Magic itself was holding her in her seat as the two moved to the 'Pit' in the center of the Chambers. Looking around she felt some relief at seeing that she wasn't the only one panicking, especially as a shield that none had encountered before snapped into place to prevent wayward curses from hitting the witnesses. Legend had abound about the Dueling Shield that was built into the Hall to solve manners between families, however the practice had fallen out of favor due to the Pure-bloods losing numbers every year.

On the outside, Harry was nonchalant to the point he had his arms crossed behind his head. On the inside he was screaming at himself for letting the Gryffindor loose after his jaunt through the Hall of Prophecy. The rage he'd felt had completely overridden the very thing he'd gotten on Hermione's case for: using logic to win out. Oh, he knew he would have been very _passionate_ towards dealing with Snape and the fact that he'd intentionally pointed that madman at his family. But there were several, better and much quieter ways he could have done so instead of going for the proverbial jugular.

Albus Dumbledore was panicking for more than one reason. Tom Riddle had displayed this level of arrogance his Seventh Year, feeling invincible from any and all comers. While he was more than positive the Prophecy would make Harry un-killable to everybody _but_ Tom, he'd not bothered to find out for himself if it was completely true or not. Plus, there was that soul fragment to take into account, for if Harry lost his then that piece could very well take over the body giving birth to the ultimate nightmare.

"Arrogant little shite," Malfoy sneered, wand already drawn from his cane. "Nothing will protect you now, and as we're in a silencing bubble I can say this: I'll finish what my Master started one way or another. Your end has come, for it's time to go to your Mudblood mother."

"Conjure up a chair Lucius, and we'll see who dies today," Harry replied with a calm tone, arms dropping to his sides. "However, say one more thing about my family and you will be crushed."

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

To those watching time, and the need to breathe, stopped as the green curse shot forth towards young Potter. A fair few were shrieking for the boy to dodge, move or _do something_ while others were cheering Lord Malfoy on quietly. Silence again took hold as the most incredible thing happened.

As the Anti-Life curse neared Harry, a shape in the form of a woman came into being looking rather angry. At first, she was facing the younger of the two men while her arms that ended at her wrists moved in a frantic pace. To the keen observer, it looked like she was in the process of drawing Runes on the boy. With her hands invisible, it was impossible to decipher the actual Runes –if that was indeed what she'd done- themselves.

Then she turned around.

"Holy Mother of Merlin!" shouted Lord Diggory having seen that face, and those eyes, before. Many were speechless as the apparition glared at the incoming curse with emerald green eyes.

The Shade of Lily Potter stood before her son, and those watching suddenly knew what it was they were seeing.

Halloween, All Hallows Eve, Day of the Dead or whatever personal name each individual held. 1981, The last day of her life. The day of _The Sacrifice_.

Inside the Dueling Bubble, Harry couldn't believe what his eyes were telling him was mere centimeters in front of him. While she looked angry, what he saw in her eyes touched his soul.

Love. Unconditional, untainted, undiluted, true _pure love_.

Then her face was gone, replaced by her back as she turned towards the Instant Death Curse. He lost track of what was happening at that point, as his eyes watered. He was surprised to find himself crying for the first time since he was three, finally able to mourn his mum and the absolute love she showed her child. For the lost times they could have, _should have_ had together.

The Shade caught the Killing Curse with suddenly visible hands, having to turn to her right slightly to slow the curse down before flinging her arms forward effectively rebounding it at the caster. The scar on his forehead became a touch wider, like a chink in the armor as the saying goes.

Lucius Malfoy barely had time to gape in surprise before his own curse struck him in the chest, sending him flying into the far wall. As every eye was on him, they missed what followed inside the Bubble.

"Remember Harry, we are _always_ watching over you," Lily whispered into his ear before her form lost cohesion. He did notice for a brief second that his father was watching the pair with pride before he too lost cohesion to return to the place whence they came.

_**1300, Same Day; Potter Battlements**_

The session was called off shortly after the revealing demonstration, something Harry was very thankful for. He'd spent the previous two hours venting his emotions from mourning his parents to rage at what had been done to his family.

Hermione and Luna had just floo'd in having received letters from Hedwig, and both were taken aback by the tear-tracks on his face as well as the smashed items of various make around him.

"What happened?" Hermione asked as she wrapped her arms around Harry. She regretted that question when it tripped a fresh bout of crying in her normally stalwart friend. With a look of panic at Luna, whom had also joined in the attempt to comfort the obviously distraught boy, she did the only thing she could do: wait for him to talk.

"It would be easier to just show you," he finally said at length, having gotten himself under some semblance of control. He left their rather comfortable embrace to fetch a Penseive off of a shelf in his Office before returning to his bedroom. He set it down, stared at it for a moment, then returned to the Office to get the instruction scroll that went with it so that he knew what he was doing. After explaining what the stone bowl did, he tested the memory extraction charm a few times with a few that he wouldn't mind permanently losing. Once he had the technique down pat, now minus three particularly nasty memories from his childhood, he pulled the day's event from his mind and put it in.

"Right, in we go," he said after working for nearly an hour without so much as a squeak. He looked exhausted but determined at the same time, something that Hermione was familiar with in just the two years she had known Harry.

The trio was immersed in the day's events for three hours, occasionally having to 'rewind' a scene to glean what information they could. The girls were shocked at the declaration against Snape, and by extension his Magical House of Prince. Then the Demonstration, as he simply called it. By the time they left the memories, the only thing not covered was the Prophecy that had been mentioned numerous times. They were observant and had read the tag when he'd enlarged it but he refused to reveal the contents.

Hermione hit the floor walking for the floo, not offering any explanation as to why she was suddenly making for the exit. Luna was torn between staying with her first real friend outside of Ottery Saint Catchpole and going after the second. Her mind was made up when Harry gestured at the retreating back.

He knew Hermione was mad at him, and didn't want to explode in his face for his foolishness. While a large part of him was rather hurt by her walking away, part of him was thankful for the solitude and another part knew she'd be back. After all, if nothing else she would want to know just what Lily had done on that fateful night.

Deciding on a kip, he tuned out the roar of the floo as he lay down silently crying again.

_**1700; Crawley**_

Hermione was most irritated by now, and not just with Harry. He had offered himself to prove a point that he then refused to elaborate on, resulting in the death of a person. She could care less that it was Malfoy Senior, especially after the Chamber of Secrets mayhem and three years of Draco bitching about 'Father this; Father that'. Luna was perched on the corner of her desk, looking about in apparent wonder as she waited for the other girl to talk. This was the other irritant as she had gone home to think, not discuss what she felt with a committee!

"You know you hurt him," the blonde said out of the blue, idly twirling her wand, "when you walked out without so much as a 'good-bye'."

"Stubborn fool! Why does he do things like this?!" the brunette demanded, ignoring the statement but using it as an excuse to vent her own emotions. "Offering himself up to test an invincibility that could have _not worked_! For what?! Why won't he tell me what that damned Prophecy says?!" By now she was in tears herself, knowing that things were going to get more difficult for her best friend as time went on. "Not to mention the fact that now he's going to have troubles with the Wizengamot for what happened today! It's just a good thing that the press doesn't get any information until after the Session is dismissed or he'd be right royally screwed! Stupid, stubborn blighter!"

"You do know his sense of self-worth, do you not?" calmly wondered the blonde while putting her wand behind her left ear. "He's been raised to have none whatsoever, to the point that his inner Gryffindor looks down right foolish when he unleashes it. And what's worse is that he _knows this_ but can't help himself. To him, family is _everything_ even with the treatment of his relatives and he'll be damned to let anybody get away with what has happened. Could he have done better? Certainly. Does he know that? Yes. So why was your 'best' friend breaking down as you stormed out of his place? His sense of self-worth strikes again because now he feels like he's ruined things between you two. You think he's suicidal now, wait until he decides he really has nothing to live for."

_**August 10, 0745; Wizengamot Chambers**_

As the Lords and Ladies filtered in, they encountered what they first believed to be an Inferi sitting in the Potter Seat. Then they realized that it was Harry Potter, somehow having a kip while sitting up as if he'd been there the entire night previous. He certainly looked the part of the living dead, having dark circles with darker circles under his eyes, absolutely horrific hair and rumpled robes. His glasses were on the desk in front of him, leaving his face bare.

Dumbledore was prompt today, arriving at ten 'til the hour as per norm to look over the political battlefield. He'd spent all of the afternoon yesterday in his Penseive, trying to solve the mystery that Lily Potter had left behind. He did see the Shade of James Potter lurking in the shadows on the third viewing, revealing that it wasn't just his wife's sacrifice that allowed Harry to live. This amplified the Ancient Magic at work, having both parents sacrifice themselves to save their son.

Seeing the object of his thoughts apparently asleep he studied the face of the last Potter from across the room. He'd have to do something to keep the Dark families happy and not retaliate for goading Lucius Malfoy into suicide-by-Potter.

Taking note of the time, he fired off his standard purple sparks from his wand to get the attention of the Assembly. The noise startled Harry awake to a sea of faces that were doing their best to mask their emotions.

"Day Three of the Summer Session is called to order," Dumbledore began. "The floor is open to any that have new business before we resume are debates from Day One."

Unsurprisingly half the gemstones lit up, while those doing the lighting were glaring at Harry.

"Chair recognizes House Parkinson."

"Lord and Ladies," the medium-height yet broad shouldered Head of House Parkinson started, "I make the motion to eject House Potter from this august body for remit to the death of Lord Malfoy."

"What?!" came from more than one person, even some of those that were originally glaring at Harry. That was extreme, even by their standards. They felt that a heavy enough fine would have sufficed, not outright ejection as is what he'd hinted at with Pacts he'd still have a voice in the Assembly.

"House Nott seconds the motion," said the clone of Theodore Nott, looking almost exactly like his son.

As things degenerated between the Houses, Harry himself was stoic to the goings on. His mind was far away from where it needed to be as he just couldn't get himself motivated to deal with the current situation.

"Order, order!" thundered Dumbledore, before softening his tone. "Does House Potter have anything to say for itself?"

"No," was all Harry said, his mind still too far away to grasp the current goings on. Most of what was bothering him was Hermione storming out of his place, now that he'd had time to think about it.

"Very well," the Chief Warlock looked dubiously at young Potter. "Motion on the floor; seconded. All in favor?"

The Allied and Pact houses were in a quandary. They didn't honestly know which way to vote on the matter as they'd had no communications with House Potter. Magic itself may punish them if they voted in favor of the motion or abstained from voting as that would be seen as doing nothing. Voting against, without certain knowledge of protection from retaliation, could very well open the door for a major fracture between the Assembly.

Those that were Allied to House Malfoy, being primarily Dark families all voted in favor including the Black Vote which held a major bloc.

"House Potter objects to the House Black Vote!" Harry came back to himself, finally noticing that the situation was getting out of hand. It had taken some research in both the Potter and Black Grimiore's to find the connection. "Illegal Proxy sitting the Seat!"

Confusion greeted the outburst, although there was relief among those that were stuck between a rock and a hard place. They had no idea where he was going to go with this, but it may well turn the Assembly on its ear . . . again.

"Rubbish!" Narcissa Malfoy shouted, bringing all attention onto herself. "Everybody knows I sit this Seat in Proxy for my son Draco!"

"Wrong," Harry calmly rebuked, "due to two factors. First and foremost is distance in relation to the last Lord Black after Phineas Nigellus. Second is the Will of said Lord, which states and I quote: _'the Lordship of House Black shall NOT EVER pass to ANY whom have been Marked, willingly or not, as a terrorist OR their spawn, convicted to Life in Azkaban, or Properly Disowned'_. By the Black Tapestry the original Lordship Line is disqualified by Death and Imprisonment. From Phineas Nigellus the Title went to Sirius, Arcturus, Orion and _should have_ gone to Sirius Orion. The Will of Arcturus, however, disqualifies Sirius as he's in Azkaban . . . however illegally he was put there. The Title goes to the line of Third Son of Phineas Nigellus, Cygnus Phineas. He had three children with Violetta Bulstrode: Pollux, Cassiopeia and Dorea. Pollux is your Grandfather Lady Malfoy, yes?" At her nod, he continued. "Since Draco comes after you, that makes him the Great-Grandson of Pollux. Cassiopeia never married. Dorea, however . . .," he paused, wanting to savor the moment. "Dorea Black, Daughter of Cygnus Phineas, married Charlus Potter. Together they had one son: James, my father. Dorea Black was my Grandmother. Due to the stipulation of Arcturus Black, Draco Malfoy was disqualified as the Heir Apparent due to Lucius being Marked, willingly or not. Thus, the Title goes to me, the sole qualified survivor of Cygnus Phineas."

Silence. That was a lot of information to process, although it didn't hurt in the least that the Black Signet Ring was now visible on Harry's right hand index finger. All that Narcissa could do at that point was sigh in defeat before moving to the Malfoy Seat.

"To top it all off, I have uncovered part of the reason why Bartemius Crouch illegally tossed Sirius Orion into Azkaban," Harry continued, keeping his momentum going. "He is the Grandson of Caspar Crouch and Charis Black, Daughter of Arcturus Phineas and Lysandra Yaxley, Fourth Son of Phineas Nigellus. Not knowing of the Dorea connection to House Potter, he was confident that he could get the Title to the House knowing of the clause Arcturus Sirius put in his Will. Now, at this time House Potter and House Black _do not_ seek retribution for Attempted Line Theft by the Crouch Family. We do reserve the right to change our mind at a later date, _after we have the trial for Sirius Orion Black_."

"He never had a trial?!" roared Lord Boot, flabbergasted that such an oversight could be allowed to go on for so long.

"Correct," Harry turned his attention to the left side of the Hall. "Besides the play on the Title of Lord Black, Crouch was _influenced_ the day before by the unveiling of his son as a Death Eater. Between that event and a low-level Obliviator somehow getting wind of Igor Kakaroff wanting to 'reform' to get out of Azkaban and making a deal with the soon to be disgraced Crouch Sirius was effectively tossed into Hell without cause."

"And who was that low-level Obliviator?" Amelia Bones had a hunch, but if House Potter could prove it then it would mean serious changes were coming to the Ministry.

"The records clearly state that Cornelius Oswald Fudge had brought word of Kakaroff having a change of heart after talking to the man in Azkaban. Why an Obliviator was at the prison, I'll never know." To prove his point Harry held up a sheaf of parchment, bound in twine before levitating it over to her desk. "Those are the records for that day at Azkaban, the trial transcripts of Kakaroff, and the bottom parchment –which I believe was mistakenly put in there- is clearly a written contract between House Fudge and House Crouch in Alliance."

Pure pandemonium. Lady Bones was busy making duplicates to every voice that was demanding to see just what had been delivered to her while staunch Fudge supporters were getting on Harry's case for going after the Minister and making enemies in high places. The first thing she read was the Alliance Contract and found a surprise.

"Chief Warlock, what is the meaning of this?!" she shouted after a cannon blast from her wand. The parchment was enlarged so the entire assembly could read it or more importantly, the signatures.

Fudge, check.

Crouch, check.

Dumbledore . . . wait, what?

"Please, _Chief Warlock_," Harry drawled, "enlighten the masses as to how you negotiated that Contract."

"I wasn't given the specifics behind their Alliance," Dumbledore replied, looking calm and composed as usual. "In fact, I didn't have to say much which I found rather odd as the Arbiter but I decided that since they had hammered out the details before hand I wouldn't ask."

"Right, plausible deniability," Harry groused, looking rather miffed that his opponent escaped again. "How very convenient that when the Contract surfaces you just happen to know nothing about it. I mean, as an Arbiter there's no repercussions if the Alliance falls apart or the Family's War, is there?" Waving his left hand, he brushed the issue aside. "What I want to know is, why as Chief Warlock you allowed Sirius Black to be imprisoned without trial. And if you _dare_ pull that jive about my parents and their Keeper, know I have their Journals and the Will."

"What Will?" came from Lady MacMillan, having been in the Assembly since the Fifties. "We were told that it was lost in Godric's Hollow."

"Sure it was," Harry looked at her fish-eyed for a moment, "when the Goblins automatically copy Wills whenever they are created and updated. Why do you think you have to go to them to get the parchment? It's not a method of ripping you off, it's a security measure to insure compliance due to Treaty. At any given time there are two copies of the Will within Gringotts: one with the Account Manager for easy access be it revision or execution, one in your Vault for whatever reason you need it for. The original is supposed to be filed with the Ministry _or_ kept at the Ancestral Manor of the Family."

Now Dumbledore was shifting around in his chair, looking highly uncomfortable as Harry kept talking. This was general knowledge that he'd worked hard to have slip from the minds of the populace, for reasons of expediting 'the Greater Good'.

"Hark, I found the Original Copy of the Will of my parents at my ancestral home," Harry was hoping to not have to play this card, wanting instead to get the story out of Sirius himself, "as well as Journals that they kept in case the worst happened so I would have something of theirs to at least get to know them. In both, they state, rather emphatically, that not only did Albus Dumbledore cast the _Fidelius Charm_ over Potter Cottage, which was nothing more than a retreat house, but that Peter Pettigrew was their choice for Secret Keeper. So I want to know why my Godfather is in Azkaban and not taking care of me."

_**Same Day, 1900, Potter Battlements**_

Having effectively buried the Wizengamot again and dodging the questions about his knowledge on Riddle, Harry was pleasantly surprised to tumble out of the enlarged fireplace only to find his two female friends waiting for him.

"Ruddy floo, what does it take to come out standing?!" he demanded to nobody as he vented. He was as surprised as Luna and Hermione when he got an answer from the portrait above the mantle.

"Easy son," Charlus Potter's voice –a rich baritone- drifted down. "To answer your question, if you start from a standstill on your feet you're going to wind up arse over teakettle every time. You just have to toss the powder, state your destination, and step into the flames while they are green. It takes a bit to get the coordination down, though."

"Ah, okay Grandpa," Harry nodded, not yet used to talking portraits as he'd barely had a conversation with any at Hogwarts forget anywhere else. "Say, do you know if my parents made," he gestured at the frame, not quite sure what to call it since it was more than a portrait.

"They didn't have the time," a soft soprano voice answered as Dorea Potter née Black entered the frame, "with the War going on. We told your parents to _not_ go to the Hollow, staying safe and hidden here. Your mother, bless her heart, had your father wrapped around her little finger. When Albus told her to go to the Retreat at Godric's Hollow, she was able to convince your father with relative ease to follow."

"Wow," Luna chimed in, causing the focus to shift to her, "who would have thought that there'd be a sane-speaking Black to be found?" For all their oddities, the Lovegood's held nothing on the Black's in their prime. "The last one I encountered was Lucretia, Sister to Orion, Aunt of Sirius. Even though she'd married a Prewitt she still seemed round the twist. Although from what Daddy said Ignatius had tossed her out when Orion tried to disown his eldest son."

"Bah!" Dorea scoffed. Even though when the portrait had been commissioned she'd been in her nineties, she didn't look a day over forty due to the inherent good looks the Black Family had enjoyed for centuries; well, those that didn't marry cousins that is. Aristocrat didn't even come close. Her facial features were a smooth blend of Andromeda, Narcissa and Bellatrix -before her decent into madness. While she did have the blood of the Bulstrode's, four generations after the Giantess joined the family, all the genes did was enhance her height to a towering one point nine three zero four meters or six foot four inches and her bust which put beach balls to shame.

"I know Lucretia, that cretin. Wonky cunt about as stable as her brother that one. Least she had the common decency to marry out of the family! Phineas Nigellus knows she's still alive as her portrait at Black Manor hasn't awoken yet, though we have no idea where she's disappeared to."

"Right," Harry said, before looking at Hermione. "You know, for that mayhem I caused yesterday the Parkinson Family tried to get me tossed out of the Wizengamot. The only thing that saved me was another day of befuddling the tossers by revealing just who sits as Lord Black then demanding to know why Sirius was thrown to the Dementors for no good reason. That, and giving them something to talk about with Fudge and Crouch. Before you even open your mouth to berate me, you'd be right. Not even taking on a ruddy eighteen meter Basilisk was as foolish as what I did."

"Eighteen . . .?" Charlus choked on his painted tea, before sputtering, "Basilisk?! What the Devil?!"

"Yep, the Gryffindor legacy continues," chuckled Dorea as she stepped behind a chair to avoid Charlus' flailing about.

"You have no idea Gran," Harry was lost in the memory and thusly not paying much attention to what was coming from his mouth, "for it _was_ Slytherin's pet a thousand years ago. That, and I got Godric's Sword out of the Hat to kill the beast. Bloody thing bit me, Fawkes worked his Phoenix Magic and cried in the wound."

"Are you telling me, _young man_, that you have Basilisk Venom and Phoenix Tears in your bloodstream?!" 'Gran' demanded, suddenly fierce showing why angering a Giantess four generations removed was a bad idea. "Be glad I'm a portrait you twit! If I was alive I've have you over my knee! Just _when_ did you do this?!"

"He was twelve," Luna happily replied, amused at the idea of _anybody_ threatening to spank the Boy-Who-Lived. "So just over two years ago."

"ARGH!" Dorea charged out of the frame, before indignant shouts could be heard out of view.

"Well, there she goes for Hogwarts," Charlus ruefully watched his wife act more like a Gryffindor than a Slytherin. "Oh look, here's Phineas Nigellus."

"Get stuffed you dolt!" grumbled the old Headmaster of Hogwarts, voted least popular twenty years running during his tenure. "You, boy! Why did you rile up my descendent to boot me out of my frame to yell at Dumbledore?! I would have _loved_ to do so myself!"

"I'm your descendent too, wanker!" Harry showed no fear of a portrait. "In fact, I'm the Lord of House Black. So no more watching me for Dumbledore. As Lord of the Founders that goes for all Hogwarts portraits!"

Dorea came charging back into the eight by ten meter portrait of the Sitting Room in the Battlements, huffing and red in the face.

"You know Dumbledore lied to you, yes?" Phineas had taken cover behind Charlus, hoping the man he'd told to get stuffed would protect him from Dorea. "First Year, the Stone. He was rather angry about what happened to it."

"What? He told Harry that it was destroyed," Hermione spoke up for the first time.

"Well, from a certain point of view that would be correct," the old Headmaster said after pilfering the tea-set from a neighboring portrait. "Harry, did you never question why when you used both hands to burn Quirellmort –nice name by the way- only your right was bandaged?"

Said Potter had a glazed look to his eyes as his train of thought derailed. It was one of those subtle nuances that had slipped by before his Maturity did whatever it did to his mind.

"I'll take that as a no," Phineas had waited a minute for an answer. "Which hand was the Stone in?"

"My right . . .," he trailed off, before sitting down on a wingback chair rather heavily. "Are you telling me I absorbed a Philosopher's Stone?! How?!"

"Dumbledore was in a rage, ranting to us portraits," came the explanation. "That Stone was going to 'disappear' into his Manor to insure he'd live to see the Greater Good completed. However, when you fell after Riddle flew through you on his way out of the Castle your magic was nearly completely depleted. Sensing a replenishment source in your hand, it acted accordingly to save your life. Indeed, your Core absorbed the Stone through your hand. Dumbledore tried to pull what he could out before taking you to Pomfrey, which nearly cost you your hand. By then the magic that made up the Stone was gone and he had no choice but to get you healed lest somebody notice the wound."

"So my blood consists of Philosopher's Stone, Basilisk Venom and Phoenix Tears?" Harry wondered, whispering in stupefaction that he'd missed this information as it happened. Then again, he was more concerned with not dying at the time to notice. "What about the Flamels?"

"Nicholas and Perenelle were not amused to learn their 'dear friend' had 'lost' their prized possession. However, before they left they did go to the Hospital Wing and from what the portraits in there said, scanned you rather heavily before actually breaking out in laughter. They couldn't make out much for the noise but they did catch words like 'legacy' and a phrase that makes me giddy with joy: 'serves the old coot right'."

"Does anybody know what happened to them?" Hermione asked, almost afraid to speak to Phineas Nigellus. Harry had left the Black Tapestry out in the Library on the fifth floor the night before, revealing that the man had disowned his first son Phineas for supporting Muggles and their rights.

"We passed on," came a new voice as a new couple entered the portrait. "Dumbledore tried to screw us over, even after I had taken him on as an apprentice. We were going to leave him our notes on how to recreate the Stone, but when we learned of the events at Hogwarts we changed our mind."

"Nicholas, Perenelle what a surprise," Charlus greeted them like old friends, giving each a hug. "What brings you to Potter Battlements?"

Harry, Luna and Hermione –sensing that the conversation wasn't about to involve them this time- headed for the informal dining room on the second floor, which was dubbed the Master Floor. He talked as they walked, explaining in greater detail what had happened at the Session.

"Oh yes, we'll be having Sirius' trial after the weekend break," he said, having asked Dobby for dinner. "Yes, there's still two more days before the weekend but Dumbledore had flexed his political muscle. The baboons," he ducked an attempt to cuff his head from Luna, "that are in his camp simply have to much sway right now."

"Sorry about storming out here yesterday," Hermione started sheepishly, before being cut off.

"No worries," he reassured her, "I'm actually quite happy that you didn't try to transfigure me into a wombat for my stupidity."

"Yes, well," her look turned fierce, "don't be doing that again or you _will_ be a wombat!"

"Why a wombat?" Luna wondered, "A ferret would work just as well I believe. Or maybe even a Blubbering Humdinger." She was surprised she could say that around Harry, but figured it was because it was in jest and not as a defense mechanism.

"Wrong hair color," Hermione answered, looking thoughtful and ignoring the made-up creature. "Malfoy, on the other hand, would make the perfect ferret." Turning away from the humorous thoughts of Malfoy as a Ferret, she continued. "Harry, just what did your parents do That Night?"

He sighed, pushing his greens around his plate in thought. She was familiar enough with the action to leave him be while Luna looked on, partially lost in her own thoughts on her mother.

"I still haven't figured it out," he finally answered at length, "even after spending what free time I currently have in the Library. One of the few things I have found is a two-part sacrificial Ritual, which I believe they did. The first part, my Dad covered with Selfless Defense of Family while my Mum finished it with Selfless Sacrifice _for_ Family. It's said when these two are combined that a great protection falls over the surviving members of said family. It wouldn't work in reverse, a child sacrificing themselves for their parent however. So that Ritual, combined with whatever it was Mum drew all over me from hair to toes _I think_ is the protection Dumbledore was raving about. He botched my placement though, it would have taken my Grandparents _and_ my Aunt Petunia to create a harm-free zone for me to live in."

"What do you mean?" Luna asked, having heard a resentment in his tone that bothered her.

"For the Blood Wards to function perfectly, both bloodlines have to be under the same roof," he explained, summoning a stack of old _Prophet's_ from his Office. "Since he only placed me with my Aunt, the Wards turned violent and tried to repel the two of us. Ruddy thing is finicky, if the conditions are not perfect it creates animosity and hatred between the foci to the point that at first opportunity they will separate permanently, thus destroying said Wards. As for my Grandparents, well . . .," he spread the stack out, showing the girls what he was talking about. While it was called 'Dragon Pox' it was extremely odd that Arcturus and Melania Black, Charlus and Dorea Potter, Alphard Black, Pollux and Irma Black, and Cygnus and Druella Black all died on the same day in the same location:

Diagon Alley.

"If they were indeed infected," Harry's voice turned rough, "why were they not in Saint Mungos? No, I refuse to believe that they all had the Pox and all keeled over in the Alley while together. They had to have been assassinated, and most likely by somebody who wanted the closest ties to my paternal side gone."

"Are you saying Dumbledore killed them?" Hermione was outraged, but at what –or more accurately, whom- exactly she didn't know.

"Without proof, no," he honestly replied, his voice back to being calm. "It would be rather pointless to publicly call the Headmaster out when their deaths were labeled as an infection."

The clock on the far wall started to chime the hour, revealing that it was now nine at night and the girls had to head on home. Harry walked them to the floo, watching the portraits to see if the guests from earlier were still in them or if they'd left. At the fireplace, the large portrait was empty, revealing that Charlus and Dorea had stepped out.

"Be ready on Saturday to explore the Grounds," he said as he hugged first Hermione then Luna. "We'll be doing so on horseback, if the stable I saw was any clue."

Friendship repaired, the girls were on their way with a smile on their faces.

_**0745 August 11, Wizengamot Chambers**_

Albus Dumbledore was early to the Session for the first time since the end of the War. He was becoming more and more aware that Harry was putting little clues and subtle nuances together that he couldn't erase as time went on such as the _Prophet_ editions from December of Eighty-One, when the Lords of Potter and Black had died. If the boy had Miss Granger in his corner, which thanks in part to Mister Weasley was a very likely bet, then he'd get the big picture long before he was ready to face his destiny. Things would only go downhill from there, Albus knew.

Today, his plan of attack was well laid out. Since Harry had been hitting hard and fast, leaving heads spinning and threatening to explode in his wake, he was going to try to flummox the boy. Certainly, he had to be running out of material to bury the Assembly with.

As the members filtered in the door, they noticed that young Potter had yet to arrive. Speculation was rampant that he either was becoming afraid to confront the Dark Families or he was digging up something else to frustrate them with depending on which faction was talked to.

Just as the Chief Warlock was about to get the day's session started, Harry appeared in the doorway. He didn't look rushed, flushed, nor in anyway bothered that he was running behind. Calmly he climbed up to his desk before taking his seat, having collected several hand-delivered letters from the Pact Families. He had a hunch that Sunday was going to be a busy day indeed for he'd sent out several more missives before heading into the Hall to various families about some of what he'd dug up last night.

"Day Four is now in session," Dumbledore announced to the crowd, "and as such House Dumbledore does put forth the motion of censure of House Potter for actions unbecoming a Lord since the beginning of the Summer Session."

Caught unawares, all that the Assembly of Lords and Ladies could do was talk quickly amongst themselves. Harry himself looked highly surprised at this turn of events, and was wondering just where the old man was going to go with this.

"Clarify," demanded Lord Bulstrode, his bulk taking up two desks worth of real estate. He didn't look happy in the least, although nobody was certain as to the cause of it.

"First and foremost," he did as 'asked', "House Potter has absorbed and essentially disbanded several Houses that were iconic to the Wizarding Populace. Secondly, House Potter has spread rumor and speculation about Lord Voldemort," Albus ignored the shouts, shrieks and shivers, "without providing conclusive proof. Thirdly, House Potter has caused the death of a fellow Lord within these walls. Fourthly, the House has spread more rumor and conjecture about Houses Fudge and Crouch. Fifthly, the House has argued in favor of a _convicted_ criminal being retried before this august body without providing conclusive proof to illegal confinement."

He waited for anybody, especially young Harry to speak out, before touching one of the other gemstones he was holding in Proxy 'as a favor'.

"Seconded by House Weasley. Motion on the floor, all in favor?"

"Stop right there, _sir_," Harry had assumed the Ikari Death Glare again, still as potent as the first time he used it. "I know for a fact that Arthur Weasley is alive so _why_ are you sitting his seat? Wealth has nothing to do with it, as this Assembly is aware otherwise a couple of other Families would be shown the door. House Black contests House Dumbledore sitting in Proxy of House Weasley by virtue of the marriage between Cedrella Black and Cadmus Weasley, Arthur's Grandparents," he paused, before looking at Narcissa. "And before you object, Lady Malfoy, I welcomed Cedrella back into the Family this morning. I found it ridiculous to disown somebody for following their heart. The deceased Alphard, your sister Andromeda and her daughter have also been welcomed back into the fold."

The Wizengamot rumbled as one being, voicing their displeasure at several topics before Harry spoke again.

"Dowager Longbottom, have no worries," he soothed her as he could see that Augusta was becoming antsy. He would have said more, but a look from her stopped him in his tracks. "Ah, I see then. Well, still, I'll not be changing anything there unless you ask it," he finally conceded, shaken a bit from her version of the Death Glare.

"I sit in for Arthur Weasley because he asked me to be his Proxy," Albus finally answered the question, not quite sure what had passed between those two. There was something he was missing, something that wasn't common knowledge and it bothered him.

"Right," Harry deadpanned, eyes half-lidded. "House Potter seconds the protest, and asks the Assembly to await the public meeting next week to address this issue."

"Motion made by House Black, Seconded by House Potter," Dumbledore growled, irritated that he was thwarted for the time being. "All in favor?"

Three quarters of the gemstones lit up green.

"Motion passed; we'll conclude this business after the trial," he declared, before offering the floor for any other new business.

"Chair recognizes House Bones."

"House Potter, we'd like to see some proof of what you've said over the past few days," Amelia leapt all over the chance to eliminate half of the stalled issue, hopefully in their favor.

"We'll need a Projector Penseive," Harry intoned, "at least for the details in what relates to Riddle. As for Sirius, I looked in the Archives for a trial transcript and found nothing. All transcripts, as this body is aware of, are public record. While it is nigh on impossible, they _may_ have been misplaced however those that were on the Tribunal can make use of the Penseive to put that issue to rest or not."

It didn't take long for the requested item to be brought into the Chambers before being set onto a pedestal in the old Dueling Pit. Harry took a moment, staring at the stone bowl, before extracting memories.

"You're all in for a treat," he addressed the Assembly, "for I'm going to be giving you the three encounters with Riddle that I've survived." He looked directly at Dumbledore as his finished and saw the Chief Warlock pale. "Due to my Maturity, and some information I've recently learned of, I can officially say that I remember That Night in detail."

Before Albus could say anything Harry had waved his hand at the candles snuffing a large number of them submerging the Hall into near-darkness then tapped the Play Rune with a finger.

The scene that greeted the Assembly was a ceiling of a room, before voices drifted in from the background.

"James, I'm telling you we _have to_ trust Dumbledore," Lily sounded frustrated, like it was a recurring argument that she was tired of. "He told us to use this house, _specifically_, to hide in with Peter as our Keeper. I know, you'd feel better with Sirius and frankly so would I. But he's Albus Dumbledore, he knows what he's talking about!"

"This just feels wrong," the voice of James Potter drifted into the room. "Da and Mum were against this idea from the get-go. The Battlements have Wards that would stop the Dark Lord in his tracks if not kill him outright. Why do you think my folks almost never leave? They're safe there and they know it, they want us to be safe too. We're playing with fire here, and we might just get right royally burned."

"Look, I'm sorry that this has caused a rift between you and them," she did sound apologetic, however with them still being out of view it was impossible to take in her facial features. "When this War is over, we'll try to fix . . ."

She never did finish her thought as they had come under attack. James could be heard downstairs, which had become visible when Lily picked young Harry up, bantering with the Dark Lord while trading curses. The focus shifted to the redhead, which showed the same thing the Assembly had witnessed two days previous as she furiously worked on whatever it was that she was doing. From the lower level came the distinct thud of a body hitting the floor accompanied by _his_ laughter.

It wasn't long until the Lords and Ladies were greeted by a face many hadn't seen in over a decade. In the background, a few noticed Pettigrew cowering in fear behind his Master.

"PAUSE!" Lady Bones shouted, to which Harry complied. He took in the scene that was now frozen, and saw what she had in Pettigrew. He focused on Lily's hands and noticed something off immediately.

Her fingers were bleeding.

'_She drew on me in her own blood?_' zipped through his mind, not quite sure how to feel about it. '_That is part of the Sacrifice Ritual, but just what did Dad do? And _when_ did he do it?_'

"You all know that Penseive Memories can be faked," Dumbledore was saying, hoping to save his house of cards. It seemed that every day another one was destroyed no matter what he did to stymie the collapse.

"You're funny, Chief Warlock," Harry came out of his thoughts. "Because I have seen very few images of my parents and none of Pettigrew let alone ole Tom there to be able to put them in this memory. Plus, have any of you seen the tell-tale distortions and odd-playback of a false memory?" This was directed at the rest of the Assembly, to which he got a solid 'no' in response. "There you go, unless _somebody_ tampered with my mind at that age then what you see is what happened."

After a lengthy pause in which several of the members turned an evil eye on Dumbledore, Harry resumed the playback.

Even those that had been raised to show no emotion in public were having difficulty as Lily Potter did what any good mother would do to save her son. When she was struck down, nobody had failed to notice that Harry was now upright if the scene was anything to go by and that the memory was now tinged in red.

Even as a one and a half year old, he knew rage.

No child should ever have to feel such emotion, regardless of age but to see one that young so angry to the point what he remembered was colored so got the attention of every single person viewing the memory.

"_Now then, Child of Prophecy, you shall die and my Immortality shall be assured,_" Voldemort's silky voice rang out in the silent hall, as he went into a monologue. "_Oh yes, the things I've done to stave off Death, not even Herpo the Foul went as far to accomplish. With your death, young Potter, my Horcrux collection will be complete. Seven, a most powerful number indeed._"

"Pause it," Dumbledore's voice was flat as he tried to comprehend what he'd heard. Seven, so six containers and what was left of the original. The Diary was destroyed, but the math wasn't adding up because the Scar would make Eight. Perhaps what happened next gave more clues.

"Horcrux?!" Narcissa was revolted, knowing of the magic thanks to her upbringing. "That _thing_ made Horcrux's like candy?! If any of those containers still exist then so does that abomination!"

"Lady Malfoy," Harry stopped her rant, "you'll see soon enough what happened to the first. And yes, it involves your late husband." Without prompting he hit the Play Rune again.

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

Just as had happened two days ago, the Shade of Lily Potter appeared and rebounded the curse. However, what really caught the attention of the Assembly was that an oily substance had left the body almost as soon as the curse left the wand, heading for a prepared breast plate from an armor set. The Crest of Gryffindor was faded but still recognizable to those that looked hard enough.

When the Curse was rebounded, however, the breast plate was destroyed as was Voldemort's body. As they watched, a Wraith formed as his soul couldn't pass over before fleeing from the house. Pettigrew, almost forgotten about by this point, scurried into the room to grab the yew wand laying on the floor before transforming into a rat and fleeing himself.

The oily sludge was mostly destroyed, but enough remained to seek a new container. Sensing a place to go, it wriggled itself into the Scar.

"Pause!" roared Lord Parkinson, "You are carrying a piece of _his_ soul?!"

"All in due time, good sir," Harry was nonplussed at the reaction, even though on the inside he was just as surprised. "It does explain the results of my Heritage Ritual which listed me as an "Artificial Soul Anchor" though. Humph, Prophecy indeed."

"What did it say?" Dowager Longbottom asked, her eyes wide as she'd watched the end of her son's friends. It had been tough to see, and a part of her was thankful that there was nothing –so far- that pointed at what happened to her dear Frank and Alice.

"I'll not be revealing the whole thing here," Harry was firm in his stance, even with the grotesque display beside him as his one and a half year old self was converted into a Horcrux-like container. "However, I believe the line '_neither can live while the other survives_' is quite apt. As you'll see shortly, I've confronted the Wraith-form of Riddle twice more since That Night." With that he hit the Stop Rune and extracted the first memory, even though he wanted to simply flick it out of existence. Once that was done, he hit Play again.

Dumbledore was relieved to see that the encounter began just as the eleven year old Harry stepped into the final room. It wouldn't do for the Assembly to see that his staff's 'traps' had been beaten by three First Years and completely bypassed by the Dark Lord.

The Lords and Ladies were shocked when the turban came off of Quirrell, revealing the parasitic face of Voldemort on the back of his head. They watched as the Savior went to work again, this time by turning the then DADA Professor into ash. The Stone caught many unawares, even more so when the Wraith flew directly into Harry's body. None had missed the banter about Snape they had shared either.

"Two encounters, score: Harry two; Tom zero," he said blandly, not certain if it was an attempt to lift the heavy atmosphere or just wanting to be snarky as he again extracted the memory from the Penseive before hitting Play for the final time.

Narcissa almost became ill when the Diary came into focus, having seen it a time or two at Malfoy Manor. It confirmed in her mind that Lucius was more than a lost cause even before his demise. Upon seeing the youngest Weasley in the Chamber, holding said Diary, she quickly figured out what his plot had been when he'd slipped it into her cauldron.

The Assembly gave a collective shout when the Basilisk was summoned by the sixteen year old Riddle, who just had to monologue as he worked his brand of evil. Many of the Dark Families that had either followed or supported him were beginning to doubt his sanity if he had to do that at the cusp of every victory only to have it snatched away from his grasp. His enemies earned more information that way that even the spies that had been uncovered as time went on.

The Sword of Gryffindor silenced them, having been extracted from the Sorting Hat. Seeing a twelve year old, forget the name, battle such a deadly serpent with a sword of all things cranked the legend that was Harry Potter up several more notches.

Then the Deathblow.

"PAUSE!" shouted Lady MacMillan, having seen something that piqued her interest. "Rewind slowly a couple seconds . . . stop there."

The fang was protruding from his arm.

"Unbelievable!" exclaimed Lord Greengrass, speaking up for the first time in days. "First That Night, then the Stone fiasco, topped off by being _bitten by a Basilisk!_ How the Devil are you still alive?!"

"You'll see shortly," Harry responded, caught off guard by the fact a Neutral Family had spoken out. They were not known to make their voice heard often in the Sessions, usually just attending to be appraised of the current goings-on. With that he resumed the playback.

Dumbledore was confused as to why Fawkes had healed Harry originally, but after seeing how he destroyed the Diary then apologized to young Miss Weasley for not being faster, regardless of the fact he was dying himself, he understood. As a creature of the Light, Fawkes couldn't in good conscious leave a child to die after working so hard to save another soul at the expense of their own without regard to any reward beyond their survival.

For all that bottled up rage, young Potter had a much larger heart indeed. A 'power he knows not'.

Unlike the other memories, which had ended after the defeat of Voldemort, this one continued up to the Headmaster's office. Albus became concerned as the playback went on before seeing for the first time what had happened in the corridor between Harry and Lucius.

"So that's how he lost the Elf," Narcissa muttered to herself, suddenly feeling better about being out of that man's influence no matter the methods.

It was a wakeup call to those that had Elves that the often overlooked creatures could and would abandon them if given enough reason to. That Dobby had been mistreated by his family and rebelled the only way he could. There would be conversations and new orders for the unseen and often un-thanked helpers of Wizard-kind issued that night.

_**1800, Same Day, Potter Battlements**_

As Harry gracefully stepped out of the floo for the first time, which he savored, he took in the sight that greeted him. Luna and Hermione were engaged in what a first looked to be old fashioned fisticuffs however the laughter gave away their activity.

"They've been at it for an hour," Charlus informed his Grandson, earning himself a meaty palm to the shoulder from Dorea. "Hey, I never said it was a bad thing!"

"A tickle fight? What brought this on?" the younger Potter wondered, dumbstruck that the girls were . . . well, acting like girls. It did lift his heart after the Session to see such frivolity from the normally uber-serious Hermione and often closed-off Luna.

"We weren't paying attention to them," Dorea answered softly, not wanting to alert them that they had an audience. "Nick and Penny were here earlier, but left when those two started tussling."

"Oh? And to what did we owe their visit to?" he turned around to look at his Grandparents.

"They do want to talk to you," Charlus replied. "They're wondering how you feel with the mixture in your bloodstream."

All Harry could do was grunt at the statement, mostly due to the fact that a cushion from the couch had impacted the back of his head.

"Tally-ho!" he cried as he leapt into the melee, taking on both girls at once in revenge for the hit.

TBC


	4. Magical Maturity 3

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Magical Maturity, Arc One Part Three

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_**1700 Friday August 12, 1994; Potter Battlements**_

"Gah!" was the noise Harry made as he flopped down in the wingback by the Floo, utterly annoyed with politics after his first week in the business. It had been yet another day of jaw flapping between himself and Dumbledore, whom was trying to recover some form of dignity after being crapped on for all intents and purposes.

The Battlements were empty, from other humans to portraits. Being back an hour earlier than he'd been all week played a major role in the fact that he was by himself.

It was rather strange, he reflected, that it was quiet in the place he now called home. Matter of fact, he could almost hear his scoff echoing down the halls. Letting random thoughts take control for the first time since departing Privet Prison also known as Durzkaban or simply Hell on Earth he essentially shut down.

His not-musing, thousand-yard staring a brick in the wall into submission, was disturbed by the Floo coming alive. Hermione made a graceful exit, her cloak billowing in her wake giving him ideas for future entrances via that method. She seemed surprised that he was there before she was, but said nothing in favor of just enjoying the companionable silence.

This was not to be for long as the Floo flared again, a whoop of glee issuing forth before Luna came rolling head over arse across the floor only to spring up and land on Harry.

"Oof!" he grunted, feeling pain in places he really wished he didn't. If the left hand to the head wasn't bad enough, her right knee had found his most sensitive place. In her surprise her right hand grabbed the back of his head effectively crushing his face into her chest jamming his glasses between them.

"Well, this is different," Hermione twittered from the couch, failing spectacularly at holding her laughter in. Then again, Harry had been entirely too serious of late and this bit of random mayhem should work nicely at relaxing him once the pain went away.

"Hi Luna," Harry's voice was beyond strange between being muffled from the blonde's torso to several octaves higher from the shot to the groin. "Would you kindly get off my junk? I'd like to _use it_ someday, y'know."

"Hi Harry!" she enthusiastically returned his greeting, leaning back to be able to see his face better. This had the effect of shifting the weight on her knees putting more pressure on the place he'd just asked her to vacate. Seeing the wince spurred her into finally climbing off of him which earned her a sigh of relief.

"So, how did it go today?" Hermione had gotten herself under control, earning a grateful smile in return.

"Oh, the usual; the Wizengamot is really taking notice that Fumblemore and I are locking horns as it were," he answered at length. "However, as it is officially the weekend for me, I don't want to hear, think or talk about political rubbish until the Pact get together for Sunday Dinner. Speaking of, are you coming?"

"Not much choice now is there," she grumbled, however the twinkle in her eyes gave her away. The Trio, as they referred to themselves, had settled on the First-Born of the group locking in the Potter name. Everything was still in the planning stages beyond that, such as exactly how he was to romance the girl during the year which promised to be very trying indeed. Matter of course, the girls had been unable to persuade him in the least that it wasn't necessary to start just yet.

His counter argument had been that when the Public Session started on Monday that the populace would learn of a very eligible, very wealthy bachelor on the market that was actively looking. With the 'battle' –no doubt it would be one- plan at least formed in basics it would hopefully keep the fame and/or wealth mongers away. A young man can dream after all.

"C'mon," he abruptly got up and headed for the entry hall. "Since we're here earlier than normal let's go have a look around the grounds."

The girls flanked him as they headed outside, to which they missed the arrival of Errol: the oldest owl in existence. The poor bird crashed into the Floo grate, which fortunately had no fire in it, before flying rather erratically to drop a red envelope on the desk which was charmed to be the 'mailbox' when the recipient wasn't inside.

Dobby immediately sensed magic not of Harry, His Granger or His Lovegood and popped in to investigate. Seeing the Howler, he promptly Banished it to the farthest Dungeon Cell under the Battlements so that his Master wouldn't have to listen to the Banshee of Devonshire rant and rave. Having sent a Self-Inking Dicta-Quill and parchment to the same cell he did make sure to get the message so the appropriate response could be made.

Looking at the Owl-That-Was-Long-Overdue-For-Retirement, he took some of Harry's pity for the ancient bird to dispel the Post Enchantments and promptly took him to the Owlery for rest and food. Hedwig, seeing what even she considered to be the Most Abused Owl Ever, stayed to keep him company and 'talk' to the poor avian.

Harry, with Hermione on his right and Luna on his left, was blissfully unaware of the events in his living room as they explored the front lawn. He didn't know how he'd missed it on his flight but there was a garage/barn that housed a variety of vehicles. Apparently the Potters were not so Pureblood-esqe to deny themselves ownership of Mundane devices. The Elves in the Barn, as it was aptly named, explained their role in maintaining the collection, even if some of them haven't been used –or seen for that matter- in half a century.

The cars ranged from Sportsters to Business, including an ultra-rare 1950s Rolls Royce Phantom Four Limousine in Factory-Mint condition having less than two hundred thousand kilometers (124,277 miles) which was originally commissioned by the Royal Family. There were a variety of Utility vehicles as well, from the Land Rover to the Volkswagen Euro Van.

Then there was a surprise in the form of military issue, from Jeeps to Half-Tracks and even, of all things, a FV 214 _Conqueror_ tank. The three looked at the tank and then each other, wondering just _why_ in the world there was one, and in the mind of Harry wondering if the gun worked and/or if they had the ammunition for it.

Feh, boys and their toys.

Having killed off the time before dinner, the three returned indoors to find the message from the Weasley Matriarch waiting on the desk in the corner. Harry had to read the thing three times to make sense of some of the rambling in what was originally a Howler. When he learned of the delivery method from Dobby his eyes narrowed before he composed his own in response.

Hermione and Luna were watching with no small amount of trepidation as he worked, torn between humor from his first Howler to anybody to fear of the damage it would cause from the magic he was overpowering. It took a more than bit of persuasion and feminine charms to convince him to share just what had started the mess.

"Wonky bint," he growled while overlapping yet another set of _Sonorous_ charms onto the letter he'd written, "dares to yell at me for locking them out of my Trust Vault. 'Terms of agreement' indeed; what bloody agreement? They never asked, let alone dictated, anything like that to me! Bah!" Even though he was ranting he did make a point to leave out the fact that the Goblins had added some rather embarrassing hexes to the Vault doors per his request.

As soon as the envelope was ready to go Hedwig surprised the three by fading into the room on the desk, leg already extended. She felt her Master's displeasure and was keen on making it known to the recipients. She was gone before the girls could think of stopping her, and Harry added another distraction by announcing dinnertime.

_**1815; Same Day; The Burrow; Ottery St. Catchpole**_

The weather had behaved itself all day, leading to a nice long game of Quidditch following lunch. The Twins, Ron and Ginny were actually hiding in plain sight as their mother stomped around the kitchen of their home in a snit.

The family excursion into Diagon Alley had ended in disaster before it even really began. While the Twins stayed in the Lobby of Gringotts the others had taken the cart down to the Vaults. When the three reappeared, Molly was in full Banshee Mode on the cart driver about access to Vault Six-Eighty-Seven. The duo was more than aware that was Harry's Vault, and felt that something was afoot. This turned out to be true when Molly, Ron and Ginny broke into a spontaneous rendition of Dueling Banjos.

From their hind ends.

Amplified by a _Sonorous_ charm.

In reality it sounded more like a train horn crossed by an elephant trumpet in a tunnel underwater. The situation wasn't helped by the fact that their robes were billowing in time with their 'music', making them looking like a trio of Blowfish. The family had to escape to the Burrow, which meant a run through the Alley as the 'Banjos' continued to fight for dominance.

What they'd all missed was the outraged looks on the Goblin's faces. While attempted thievery was one thing, the sounds the three produced sounded like the highest insults to their ears, ranging from 'Your mother was . . .' to 'I just emptied your Vault and there's nothing you can do about it!'. Insulting a female Goblin was worth Death. Insinuating that the Goblins as a whole were broke was worth War.

There was a reason the Nation hated banjos.

The Twins thought it was the funniest thing in the world, and were more than impressed by the usage of a flatulence hex tied into the amplifier and obscure music charms. What was even better was that once they were through the Floo the 'music' stopped. Thinking that whatever it was had run its course Molly immediately returned to the Cauldron only to have to dive back into the fire as her solo Banjo fired back up.

Thinking, rightly, that Harry had something to do with their current condition –which showed no mercy, having fired up three other random times already- Molly went against her children's wishes and composed a Howler.

Now, as the sun began to set, Harry returned fire.

Ron was in a lazy orbit of their quasi-Pitch, just enjoying being in the air. For all his jealousy of Potter, he had to admit that the raven haired boy had the right of it about flying being relaxing. Looking off to the north, he spotted movement which quickly grew in size to reveal Hedwig on an attack vector. Letting out a shout of surprise, he dove for the ground and earned the attention of his siblings.

The other Weasley children present were surprised when Hedwig turfed Ron before banking her turn to pursue Ginny. The only daughter quickly found herself getting acquainted with the dirt beside her brother as the familiar of Harry dive-bombed the house. The noise of her children impacting the ground had attracted Molly to the kitchen window, to which she opened to yell at them to stop chasing each other. What she got was a face full of Snowy Owl that was using her wings to box the woman about the ears.

The tie that held the Howler came undone at that point, to which Hedwig launched herself back out said window so she wouldn't be caught in the verbal explosion to come.

In the Burrow, the Twins –after gathering their siblings- crowded around the Howler that was smoking waiting for somebody to open it. Molly tried to Vanish or Banish it without success, as apparently the sender was well aware of that popular method of dealing with the damnable things.

Fred and George quietly cast silencing charms about their heads before they dove for the envelope and opened it.

All residents of the hamlet, Magical or not, were rather aware of the hills having a voice whenever Molly Weasley started yelling at her spawn. So it came as no surprise when the hills came alive with the sound of somebody shouting. What got their attention, however, was that first the voice was male while second a shockwave that came rumbling by shaking the houses all the way into town.

"_**MOLLY WEASLEY**_," boomed Harry's voice, nearly blowing the walls off of the load-bearing beams of the ground floor. Even with the silencing spells up the Twins heard the roar and felt it best to retreat. Ron had been send pin-wheeling through the air to land in the Swamp face first. Ginny, also sent flying, wound up in the old pig sty cum mud pit near the Orchard. Unseen by all the Wards around the house had shattered tripping alarms at the Ministry. "_**HOW DARE YOU TAKE WHAT IS NOT YOURS?! YOU NOR ARTHUR EVER TALKED, IN ANY MANNER, TO ME ABOUT PAYING YOU TO STAY THERE! IF YOU HAD, YOU WOULD'VE FOUND THAT I WOULD'VE FREELY HELPED YOU! INSTEAD YOU STEAL FROM ME, JUST LIKE THAT FOSSIL! AND DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND I HAVEN'T HEARD WHAT YOU DID TO HERMIONE! DON'T BOTHER REPLYING, AS YOUR OWL HAS HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND DECIDED TO RETIRE!**_"

About half way through the rant –which being somewhat nonsensical showed Harry's state of emotion- a company of Auror's led by Amelia Bones arrived followed by Arthur Weasley. For a moment it almost sounded like young Potter was in the house himself and his magic was what had shredded the Wards. Inside they found the flaming remains of a Howler which caused more than a few raised eyebrows.

Molly was slumped over by the stove, ears bleeding from the level of volume involved. The Twins came in through what would have been the back door, dragging Ron and Ginny in their disheveled –read as: muddy and smelly- states.

While Harry wasn't the articulate letter writer/Howler composer that Molly was, he'd apparently gone for sheer destructive power –or perhaps, as Shacklebolt would say about Dumbledore: "Style"- behind his missive. The Auror's, including Bones, were at a loss to explain just how he'd managed to cram so much magic into a letter that not only caused physical damage it destroyed Wards with relative ease.

"What brought this on?" the Director of the DMLE asked the room at large, after noting that the Twins had dropped their shields. The answer she got was the amplified rendition of the 1812 Overture from three different arses- literally. Complete with cannon blasts that launched whomever's turn it was across the remains of the ground floor.

"I see," was all that Arthur Weasley could say, having already tried a dozen '_Finite_' counters. While he was well aware of the fact that as Harry had more power than he did he stood little chance of canceling the rather embarrassing yet somehow completely accurate 'music', he still tried for pride's sake. Something felt off about the magic though, almost as if . . .

"Where did you pick this curse up from?" wondered Kingsley Shacklebolt, whom was doing his absolute professional best to keep from laughing. Tonks –brought along as a training mission- had already retreated outdoors with the other Aurors, unable to duplicate his amazing feat of bravado.

"Gringotts," one of the Twins got out amidst their own bout of laughter, each supporting the other to remain standing to the point telling them apart was impossible. "They tried to get into Harry's Vault, turns out he locked them out with style!"

Those left indoors were disturbed when the Overture ended only to be replaced by Ride of the Valkyries.

"Goblin magic, yikes!" Amelia couldn't help herself when she shivered, having more knowledge to add to the 'reasons pissing them off is a BAD IDEA' list. Nobody, not even that shark Umbridge, was as creative with punishments as those fiends that –pun intended- gobble up pain and suffering like the finest food and drink. They were at least made to see reason why open warfare was a bad idea with the growing numbers of Muggles about so a compromise was reached.

Make them the bankers with the power to ruin as they see fit. Of course, the rare human that figured out how to treat a Goblin got 'perks' like even dealing or, as this case proved, 'extra' security on the Vaults that all but insures a ruined reputation. There was no way to avoid it now, not with the Public Session starting on Monday. Part of that Session was her reports on crime rates broken down into the offenses versus persons involved.

What was left of the Weasley reputation just got flushed down the toilet. Wow, bad pun there.

"Why were they trying to get into his Vault?" Arthur demanded of his non-cursed children, getting a feeling that he was going to have to recall Bill and Charlie from abroad before word of this mayhem spread. Ooh, as if Percy didn't have enough reasons to complain . . .

"Dunno," George replied, having heard the Head of House voice from his father for the first time in a long time instantly sobering him up. "We stayed in the lobby, thinking they were going to our Vault. When they came back five minutes later Mum was in full Rant Mode at the poor cart driver, screaming at him about accessing Vault Six-Eighty-Seven. From there it was a mad dash to the Cauldron as the . . . ah, 'curse' . . . produced the sounds of Dueling Banjos making them look like Blowfish."

Shacklebolt made a face at that information, being well aware of what Banjos sounded like to the Goblins. Amelia was no better, and was even contemplating Secrecy Oaths lest this make the Gossip Vine that was the Ministry.

"After coming back here, Mum decided to send Harry a Howler to which we," Fred took over, having noticed that if George was serious something was afoot, "meaning us, Ron and Ginny objected to. They at least have the fear of being around Harry ten months of the year at Hogwarts; Mum doesn't. Harry, it seems, was rather put out by that."

"Well Potter obviously knows about our involvement," Ron chimed in at last, finally coming back to his senses and revealing that the latest gas attack had passed . . . oh, the irony in that. "When Hedwig got here we were outside flying. That ruddy bird turfed Ginny and me before diving into the kitchen to smack Mum about the head with her wings. Once that Super-Howler whatever came loose from her leg she took off like a . . .," he trailed off, slowly turning his head to the left to see said Owl looking rather balefully at him from what was left of the living room window frame.

"Oh crap," came from Ginny, surprising the others as she put another piece of the puzzle together. "She was his familiar _before_ his Maturity, and was in the room with him when his Core surged if his relatives followed their usual pattern and locked him in that tiny room beforehand. That would've exposed her to the wild magic of a sudden Maturity . . ." She would never know just how close to the truth she was.

The occupants of the house, minus the still unconscious Molly, were looking at the bird that had cranked the baleful look up to maximum glare.

One that was powered by green eyes.

"Yep, he's listening," George offered unnecessarily. "Uh, Harry, you do realize Fred and I had nothing to do with this, right?"

Hedwig/Harry's head bobbed in a nod, before the bird simply faded away without moving.

_**Same time; Potter Battlements**_

Hermione and Luna were getting worried about Harry, as he'd stopped all conversation then movement as he drifted out of focus, mind somewhere else. Dinner, up to that point, had been going rather well as they talked about non-consequential things like the coming School letters and the World Cup.

"HA!" came from his mouth, even though he was still not focusing on the duo on either side of him. He was seated at the head of the table, the end furthest from the doors as was traditional so that the Lord of the Manor never had his back to his guests. At Hogwarts, were he to sit in the same place, he'd be at the end nearest the Staff table. The teachers were doing more than supervising the children, they were showing their power over the masses that attended and prevented assassination attempts by being so far away from the doors.

In the Feudal sense Dumbledore was playing the part of the magnanimous Lord by providing the food and overseeing his charges. Granted, once they graduated they no longer had to 'serve' said Lord unless they wanted to.

Hedwig phased into being on her perch, her dinner awaiting her and Harry came back to himself.

"That was distinctly odd," he drawled, occasionally shaking his head as if removing disorientation.

"What was?" Hermione wondered, having stopped eating at the same time Harry did. While it was more out of worry for her closest friend-that-was-to-become-more, it also observed the proprieties of decorum.

"I don't know how I did, but I," he paused, looking for the right word, "shared experiences with Hedwig while she was at the Burrow. We know the Gingers wanted to do some shopping today, thus the Howler for discovering my little surprise. I was watching the fallout after my return shot. Seems I overpowered my response and collapsed the Wards along with demolishing the ground floor. Aurors led by Bones herself showed up followed by Arthur. This is not going to end well for them, since Dobby was able to get a copy of Molly's Howler before it disintegrated."

"Ooh, if there was enough power to collapse the Wards," Luna actually swayed in her seat in awe, "then the other families in the area felt the wave of magic as it washed over them. The Mundane's homes in Ottery St. Catchpole itself probably shook a bit too. Good thing that they are already aware of the 'screaming hills' or the Ministry would be going bonkers."

"So why won't it end well for them?" Hermione was confused, by all accounts Harry was the one about to be in trouble.

"Because with the Public Session on Monday Amelia Bones has to deliver her bi-annual crime statistics," Harry had resumed eating, and had to swallow before answering. "The fact that the three were cursed in Gringotts by the Goblins for attempted theft is going to wipe whatever respect they had off the map. Plus that said theft was targeted at me, followed by a Howler for stopping it, is going to be _very_ costly to them. Think Slytherin for a moment, they got caught red-handed in the cookie jar then lashed out at the one that caught them yet the retaliation brought the whole thing to light. Now nobody's going to want to work with, or for, a Weasley for fear of damaging their own reputation. Not even Dumbledore can survive such tarnish, to which he'll cut them loose with massive 'disappointment' as that'll expose that I'm onto him. Still, any 'status' they had, Weasley or Prewitt, is toast."

"To be Devil's Advocate," Luna expounded, letting Harry eat more of his dinner, "this whole thing could have been swept under the rug as a prank gone wrong between the Houses Potter and Weasley to which the Goblins could wash their hands of no problem. Since Molly had to be . . . well, Molly, now they have to report their findings to the DMLE which will implicate Dumbledore. The Chief Warlock is _not_ going to like that at all to the point he may make moves to force them out of Britain as a whole. The elder brothers are going to lose their careers, the youngest their tuition to Hogwarts unless Harry himself steps in."

"The Twins are innocent in this mess," Hermione surprised Harry by defending them before he could. "They were very sympathetic to me last year after Ron and Molly had their bout of stupidity, even though they couldn't help me beyond targeting those that picked on me a bit more than usual in their pranks."

"No worries, they told 'me' as much," Harry gestured at Hedwig whom had dozed off contently with a full belly. "Arthur looked appalled by the actions of his wife and youngest, so if need be I'll take them under my banner. Bill and Charlie as well, for I wouldn't want them to suffer for something they had no control over. Percy is a lost cause to me. I've seen him orbiting Fudge from afar –Department of International Cooperation- of late, meaning he might have already picked a patron if everything went wrong like it has. He'll survive the tarnish to his name for that reason alone. Arthur will have to deal with Molly, Ron and Ginny. I can't exclude them from the tuition by way of 'what's good for one is good for all' tradition. Molly has nothing to offer, even if she makes an attempt at redemption."

The three ate is silence for a bit, having talked themselves out for the time being. Harry had time to reflect, which brought the Life Debt issue back to the forefront to which he asked the only (living) Pureblood in the Battlements about.

"Life Debts are a rarity," she answered after several minutes of thought, "mostly due to the fact that Magicals as a whole are selfish. Even those dubbed as 'Creatures' such as the Centaurs, Goblins, Fae and what have you primarily look out for themselves first. Case in point, the last known Debt of this magnitude was around the Founders Era, circa Nine-Ninety AD or so. You do realize that everyone -including me- who was in the Castle during the Chamber Fiasco owes you, even those that were petrified? If you hadn't killed the Basilisk, instead just destroying the Diary, it would have stormed the halls looking for food and for a thousand year old beast several hundred children was just the ticket. Ginny needs no explanation as to her Debt. Then there's the rumor I heard about you taking on a Troll in your first year, followed by yet another defeat of You-Know-Who which again indebts the entire School. On top of all of that, no matter how hard to believe it is, was your original defeat of Riddle in Eighty-One. One thing to understand is that talk had begun to circulate in Seventy-Five that he was going to enslave or wipe out _everybody_. He wanted no challengers to his power, and the only way to insure that would be through total dominance or being the only one left alive. The Death Eaters, dumb as they are to have originally joined his ranks, figured it out when he started ordering whole Pureblood families destroyed, no matter their alignment. Several of them, long since dead for their 'betrayal', had expressed their concerns to those that were fighting them _and_ the Neutrals thus proving their point. Amazingly, Abraxas Malfoy was one of those detractors after watching his only son be mentally destroyed and rebuilt in Riddle's image. His death, and note the pattern here, was ruled Dragon Pox."

"Amazing," Hermione was completely awed at the font of information sitting across from her on Harry's left. "Just how do you know all of that?"

"The Lovegood family have been reporters, investigators and researchers for generations on top of being Spell Crafters, Seers, Potioneers, Warders and whatnot. We are also known to be listeners of the Vine, rarely speaking out."

Dinner finished from there with little conversation as the three digested the information. It was closer to the girls heading home that Harry asked the all important question.

"What can I do with these Debts?"

While there were ideas, due to the rarity of them there were no solid answers even from the Portraits of the era in question. The only way to know for certain would be to call a few in to see what happened.

"Right," he closed out the debate, "tomorrow we explore the grounds, and Sunday we'll be taking most of the day to get ready for the Dinner. The letters from Hogwarts should be here on Monday and we can go shopping any time before the World Cup on the 27th. I got us the best seats in the stadium, midfield in the luxury boxes." He wasn't about to tell them just how much that had cost, even if he made money hand over fist on a daily basis. "Then we can relax until the First, before heading off to yet another year of fun and laughter in Hogwarts."

The girls didn't fail to notice the sarcasm at the end of his little speech before they floo'd away.

Being on the Wizengamot had its advantages, as well as drawbacks. He knew, from having to listen to Dumbledore in the Closed Session, about the Tri-Wizard Tournament. It took legislative approval to import nesting female dragons after all far less their clutches. The security around those eggs was ridiculous to the point of making Gringotts look tame.

What bothered him was his track record. Two years, two brushes with death . . . even being emancipated as he was, he was still all of fourteen years old. He knew he didn't have even close to the knowledge needed to compete let alone survive in the Tournament and his gut was screaming at him that he would have to do just that.

Due to secrecy he couldn't even tell his two closest companions. Sure, he could drop hints like if they owned brooms –or played Quidditch- to leave them at home, not that he was going to follow that advice in the least. He could even leave books about the Tournament laying about, not that it mattered as the last one was two centuries previous thus only providing historical data while doing the same to books on Dragons could be interpreted as an interest in the beasts.

Heaving a sigh of frustration, he set off for the Library to at least get every book on the Tri-Wizard he had out. If nothing else, he could –no, should bring these along to Hogwarts as a precaution.

_**0800 August 13; Potter Battlements**_

Having a lay in was nice, Harry reflected as he ate breakfast. It was different to awaken at a decent hour instead of five in the morning. He knew the girls wouldn't be by for a couple more hours yet as he'd declared today was a day of relaxation; he was dressed very informally in khaki slacks and a pull over tee shirt. He also had no plans or desires to don robes of any type today if he could help it.

A quick check of the mail revealed his statements from Gringotts. Gripsack was making money on the stock exchange it seemed, using that eye for detail Goblins had for spotting trends in the markets. He'd also bought up shares of several companies on a permanent basis to provide stability in case of a market crash. Ragnok hadn't been kidding, the returns were exponential to the point the Potter wealth alone was entering the trillion range. Knowing that the economy would need a boost sooner or later Harry 'quilled' a message to his account manager to donate the equivalent of one billion Galleons to all medical services in the Commonwealth Magical and Mundane. That should ease the costs of healthcare for a bit, freeing up funds to be spent on frivolous things as he'd also included a stipulation that the donation had to be used as intended and not line somebody's pockets otherwise he'd wind up owning the system from the resulting lawsuit. _Heh_, he thought, _even the Dark families understand that the economy can make or break them. No wonder they make 'donations' to the services._

Thoughts of a scheme involving his active gold and silver mines came into play, but as the US Commodities Exchange wasn't coughing up Dollars hand over fist for precious medals the conversions would either simply balance out or in fact lose him money. Well, if he did it legally that is. He knew he could, if he wanted to, melt down the vast amounts of coins in his Vaults to the base minerals then sell by the ton but seeing as in how that would anger the Goblins he gave it up as a bad job.

For the future, perhaps . . .

The rest of his correspondence was more confirmations about the Pact Dinner Sunday evening, with a _Daily Prophet_ and _Quibbler_ thrown in for good measure. He read both with a grain of salt, not fully buying into any article in either publication yet using them to keep up with the goings on in Magical Britain once he decoded the truth from the rubbish.

"Humph," he grumbled to nobody, "so they noticed Malfoy Senior is missing did they. Yeah, this could be a problem on Monday."

Having finished breakfast, and idly noting in the sports section that Puddlemere crushed Chudley yet again, he set off to the living room to continue his reading while waiting for the girls to arrive. The portraits, while occupied this morning, were leaving him be for the time being.

At ten 'til ten the floo flared and Hermione stepped through, prompt as usual. Her arrival prompted Harry to get up from his chair and move just as Luna came tumbling out, this time missing him in her leap into the wingback. He did take note that the pair were in top-of-the-knee-length skirts and light blouses, even though he'd specifically told them they'd be out and about on horseback today.

Well if they asked a transfiguration would fix that problem, otherwise he was going to keep his mouth shut for he was taking notice that yes, they were _girls_. Banishing his post and the papers to his office, he led them outdoors to the stables.

"At least the weather is behaving," he commented offhandedly for lack of anything better at the moment. It was a rather nice morning out, not much in the way of humidity which considering it was summer on an island nation was saying something.

Upon arriving at the stables the three were surprised to find a mated pair of Nightmares and Hell Stallions. The emotion was more from the sheer size of the beasts in comparison to say, a typical Arabian or even a Clydesdale instead of the fact that they were closer to the Dark variety that the Ministry loved to punish people for owning. Then again, it was more apparent that the Potters as a whole had the tendency to ignore things like rules and regulations in every category; be it in possessions, Magic or anything else that defined 'normal'.

The beasts themselves were beautiful –or magnificent, depending on whom was asked- despite being borderline creatures. The 'Mares stood close to fifteen hands while weighing in at just over eight hundred kilos while the Stallions measured closer to eighteen hands and a thousand kilos. Both had coats of the darkest black, like trying to look past the event horizon of a black hole and living flame –just a few shades lighter that the coat- in place of the manes and tails complimented by eyes the color of brimstone. The bodies of the magical horses were packed with muscles, making them quite large and in charge indeed.

While Hermione and Luna were awe-struck at their mode of transportation for the day to explore the grounds, Harry felt a pull from what would be the Alpha Stallion in a wild herd. His magic was singing at him to do something, but what in particular he didn't know off of the top of his mind. He did take note of another mated pair of Abraxans and yet another pair of Aethonan –of the Greek pantheon- that were not prepped for any journey enjoying their 'breakfast' in the barn.

Reaching out with both hands, he traced the long snout of the Hell Stallion with his fingertips. The beast at first started from the unusual contact, almost rearing onto the hindquarters to attack with the forelegs. What stopped the reaction, however, was the gentleness that Harry used in essentially 'petting' the head from just below the eyes to the nose and mouth. Then the contact was gone as what the Stallion knew to be the owner and rider for the day backed away.

Hermione and Luna were watching this interaction, intrigued at what Harry was doing. It became apparent when their vision blurred while looking at him, before he was replaced by another Hell Stallion. This one looked distinctly odd, a instead of the brimstone eyes they were the more normal looking bulbous variety and green. Strangely, the living flame above the right eye in front of the ear was in the shape of a white lightning bolt.

The new magical horse was also a fair bit smaller than the other two males that were now wearily eyeing the newcomer. He -a quick glance by the girls left no doubt in that department- was only about a dozen hands tall and roughly five hundred kilos.

"Harry?" Hermione tentatively inquired, having the sudden thought of a previous vision-blur in her first year at Hogwarts.

The small Stallion started prancing around, tossing his head about in excitement while dancing around the pair of girls. Having felt something smacking against his belly, the colt –which was true enough seeing as Harry was still a juvenile- trotted over to the low wall surrounding the paddock before rearing up and using it to prop his front end up; from there he managed to stuff his head between his forelegs to see what the issue was.

Luna finally came back to herself after looking at the size of Harry in 'horse-mode', blushing severely and lightly shaking from the tingly feelings down below. When she saw what he was up to, she started heading in his direction for she knew that he surprise was going to be as great as hers had been.

Sure enough, before the blonde could get there, Harry had seen what was flopping around back there and promptly lost his footing on the wall. It was comical, in a way, to watch as he fell forward before impacting the stonework in slow motion. The hit was enough to cause a reversion to human form . . .

And for a surprise in the form of twenty new Harry Potters appearing from nowhere.

"Now this is ridiculous," Hermione grumbled as she made her way over to the original Potter, who appeared to be shell-shocked from both his previous discovery and hitting his head on granite. "It's supposed to be the victim of blunt force trauma that sees double or more, not the onlookers."

Luna hadn't been idle in her latest bout of surprise, instead helping Harry to his feet as the other . . . well, him selves looked on in wonder. The group of raven haired teens were already gathering around in independent discussion and stealing glances of mostly the girls and the lone self that was being tended too.

"Ooh, I do hope that dangly carries over," Hermione heard Luna whisper to her but didn't bother to reply verbally for the blush on her face spoke volumes.

"How's the head?" she asked, before her blush intensified from the entendre. That little bit of wishing on Luna's part had gotten her awakening hormones to explode into activity and reproduction.

"I'm fine Hermione, Hermione, Luna, Hermione, Luna and Luna," he said stoically, before slowly shaking his head. "Although this seeing triple is a bit of a bother; what gets me is that I swear I see a group of me over there looking at me."

"Uh, there is a group of you over there," Luna reassured him. "They appeared after you tried to self-induce a coma. So, no, you're not going 'round the twist as it were."

"Ah," he did his Dumbledore impersonation, as if he'd just be handed the secrets of the Universe on a silver platter. "That's good to know Second Luna. Third Luna, I slipped off the wall; this wasn't intentional!"

"Dobby!" Hermione called, knowing Harry had a concussion at the least. As soon as the Elf appeared, and to keep him from totally twigging out on there being so many Great Harry Potter Sirs about, she directed him to take the one that was leaning on her up to his suite and put him to bed.

"Well, doesn't that put a crimp in our plans for the day," Luna felt she had to state the obvious, even though the crowd of Harry's gathered around her and Hermione.

"Back to the living room," Hermione quickly directed, not wanting to be bombarded with questions that she'd have to answer twenty different ways from the same brain. It felt strange, she reflected on the trip indoors, to have the crowd all bearing the face of her best friend surround her and Luna like bodyguards.

"This is surreal," the flanking Harry spoke, not looking around at the surroundings giving away that he knew of them and was comfortable enough to talk. "I mean, I know I plowed into that wall but instead of hurting I found myself with my selves standing five meters away looking on in confusion. Ooh, even trying to describe this is hard."

"Well, try transforming into that Stallion again," Luna offered, her mind almost blank at the possibilities this new power presented. "See if whatever this is, is a complete duplication or something else."

"I've never come across a reference to either power before," Hermione immediately stated after feeling twenty pairs of eyes bear down on her. The fact that they were all that shade of green that varied depending on his mood within that familiar face was definitely creeping her out.

The group of Harry's moved onto the lawn and each worn identical expressions of concentration as they attempted to change. It didn't take long before there was a herd of Hell Stallion colts near the front door, each now prancing about with a little less bounce to ensure nothing moved too much.

It was at the five minute mark of the prancing that the herd started to shrink noticeably, each disappearing in motes of magic before the last was gone leaving the girls by themselves. Taking advantage of that, they headed up to the Master Suite to check on Harry.

When they arrived, they were greeted to the sight of Poppy Pomfrey shaking her head in disbelief before catching sight of them.

"Mister Potter seems to need my attention more and more," she said by way of greeting, "even if it's by Elf transport at home. I've given him a potion for the concussion and a Dreamless Sleep so that when he wakes he'll be right as rain. Do inform him that while I wouldn't mind catching up over a cup of tea at the Castle; he need not be hurt in any way, shape or form to do so and while I appreciate the trust he shows in me, I don't make house calls on a regular basis."

"Certainly Madam," Luna was quick to agree before Blubber appeared from Hogwarts to collect the Matron.

"Well, nothing to it now Luna," her brunette companion said as she turned for the floo, "we should go. I've waited after Quidditch games enough to know he'll be out until early tomorrow morning."

"Oh pooh," the blonde complained while grabbing a handful of the floo powder, "I was so looking forward to him giving me a ride too."

It took the sole Granger child ten minutes to get her stuttering and spluttering under enough control to ensure she'd come out of the proper grate instead of winding up in Timbuktu.

_**0400 Sunday August 14; Potter Battlements**_

Harry shot out of bed like he'd been fired from a cannon, coming to from the Dreamless Sleep that Pomfrey number four had put him in yesterday. It was great, once he had his glasses on, that the room was in focus again. Feeling no ill effects like he was used to from his cousin Dudley, he knew that the concussion was gone to which he felt he had to get Pomfrey a fruit basket or something. That woman spent more time putting him back together than the King's Men with Humpty Dumpty it seemed at times.

Going through his home made test to insure that yes, everything was back to operational status he waved his hand in front of his face at varying speeds. Seeing no after-images he pronounced himself cured before casting the _Tempus_ charm silently.

"Four in the morning," he grumbled, before the date came to mind. With his losing bout with the wall, the girls had missed out on a chance to explore the grounds before he became busy again. Deciding that it wasn't the end of the world, and knowing he had a dinner party to prepare for, he got the day started as much as he didn't want to.

From that moment on, he was so busy that the time flew on by. Between the Elves, Hermione and Luna they had the place looking more like an inviting Palace than its namesake of a genuine fortress. There had been five scuffles in the kitchen between him and his 'employees' as he wanted to prepare some of the food but the Elves wouldn't hear of it. Compromise didn't even seem to work, leaving him scratching his head every time he tried.

Then he decided, in a stroke of sheer brilliance in his own mind, to flood the place with himself.

Hermione and Luna were treated to the oddest thing either one had seen in their lives at that point. They were headed into the kitchen to try to get Harry outside to relax when the door slammed into the wall and a tangle of Elves and Harry Potters came tumbling at them. The girls had enough time to scream before being enveloped in the mayhem that carried the lot up the stairs and into the living room before the "little green men" took advantage of the situation to vanish back into the kitchen.

For all of that, Harry _still_ lost the argument. Instead of huffing about it though, he found his ability to laugh at himself for a backfired plan which the girls were more than happy to join in on before they each slugged a shoulder for dragging them into the mess.

_**1800; Potter Battlements**_

The time for the dinner had arrived, and Harry suddenly found himself without his bravado. Thanking all that was Holy that the Magicals were _way_ behind the times to the point handshakes were not an acceptable greeting in this situation –bowing was instead-, he wiped his sweaty palms on his inner robes for what felt like the fiftieth time in an hour. He did send mental thanks to Hermione and Luna for attempting to calm him down earlier in the day; now however he desired them by his side to get him through what was to come.

_Nothing for it_, he thought as the floo flared to life bringing forth the first of the guests. He'd made use of some of his newfound intelligence to alert all of the invitees to come at a specific time that was five minutes apart from those before and after them so that the floo wouldn't get clogged. He didn't allow portkeys or Apparation due to not knowing _exactly_ where in the country his residence was.

"Greetings Madam Bones; Lady Bones," he managed to not squeak while bowing to the pair. "Welcome to my humble abode, please follow Dobby to the dining room. Dinner will begin in an hour then we'll discuss what needs to be . . . uh, discussed." Harry wanted to face-palm so much at that point; his opening speech and he flubbed it! This was going to be infinitely harder than he thought to accomplish.

Amelia and Susan Bones had chosen to match for this, wearing cobalt-blue colored robes made from crushed velvet that looked good on the pair. They also had their hair in single braided tails that were draped over their left shoulder.

Once they were off to where he'd told them to go, Harry let loose a groan of dismay before steeling himself for the next batch of travelers. If anything, this should prove that, yes, he's still a teenager with much to learn about social situations like this.

So it went, the speech was refined for less awkwardness as he got into a groove repeating it over and over again. He could also hear the dull roar from the dining room as the number of people within climbed. He had more faith than knowledge that there would be no fighting between his guests just so that they wouldn't lose any face with the other families nor himself. Once the last of his guests arrived, he headed into the lion's den with a forced smile never noticing his floo kick back a beetle that had tried to catch a ride on one of the Greengrass'.

There were a _lot_ of girls in there around his age! Oh, the male population of Hogwarts was going to kill him when word got out . . . blast it all!

Having slipped into the room through the Lord's Entrance near the head of the table he surveyed those that made it to his gathering. There was a collection of almost every walk of life present; the four Houses of Hogwarts, "Light" and "Dark", Pure-Blood elites, Half-Bloods so on and so forth. There was only one First-Born present in the form of Hermione and she had staked her place on his right while Luna and Xenophilius Lovegood took up the first and second chairs on his left respectively.

"Right," his voice dominated the room, commanding all attention upon his person, "first off we eat. I don't particularly care what the topic of conversation is _except_ what we're here for after dinner. No rush on that, as I figure an hour is enough time to satisfy everybody. So, tuck in and enjoy."

The dull roar of the diners reminded him of the Great Hall at Hogwarts as light conversation sprung up between virtually all of those gathered. He noticed that one of the few not being extra talkative was Augusta Longbottom and by proxy Neville. The large gathering had earned a frown from the Traditionalist woman, yet she held her piece for whatever reason.

Dinner came and went, followed by a large selection of desserts. Harry was trying to accommodate all tastes during this shindig, and for the most part was successful. Once the hour was up did the Elves banish the dishes to the kitchen and herd the crowd into the Ball Room where a raised dais was set up in front of enough chairs for everybody.

"Okay," he directed traffic from the door, "there's no 'assigned' seats here. I'm not going to hold one family as more important than another so please, pick a spot and sit."

It was another ten minutes of people shuffling about to get them seated to their satisfaction while Harry stood behind the dais organizing what notes he had on the Pacts as they'd been bonded. He looked down at the chairs directly in front of him at Hermione and Luna, silently pleading for strength to get through this with minimal difficulty.

"Now then, before we start are there any questions?" he looked about those gathered, feeling like a Professor teaching a class. It was a feeling he found he liked, much to his surprise. Only two hands went up, Bones and Longbottom; to avoid offending Augusta more than she already appeared to be he called her first.

"If I may Lord Potter," her voice was even; betraying nothing, "where are the Weasley's? I know they too made a Pact with House Potter and find myself curious as to why they aren't involved in this."

"Really?" Harry did everything he could to hide his surprise as he shuffled through various parchments to find his Inheritance Test. "According to the Goblins, there's not a Pact between my House and theirs. Even if there was, they'd be in violation for reasons that are not open for discussion. You'll find out why tomorrow once the Public Session gets started. Madam Bones?"

"Why do this?" the head of the DMLE waved her arms about, encompassing the room. "We all would much rather prefer private, one-on-one meetings over this exposure."

"To demonstrate, look about the room," his answer came quickly, "you'll note the large amount of people here. Every single Pact made with House Potter is represented here one way or another. If I did one-on-one meetings, we'd all be at this forever and a day. Some families would even be insulted at having to wait so long to be contacted by me to reaffirm the Oaths which has to be done before I hit seventeen. It matters not that I'm considered of age, those of the Pacts around my age are not and decorum demands it. This method here also let's those of the Pacts know who's in or not and to avoid as much conflict as possible. I believe I demonstrated that Riddle is still out there; eventually he's going to find a way to be in a body again and once he does it'll be pure anarchy. Everybody in this room, as the Pacts stand right now, has two options when/if a Dark Lord rises again: be neutral or fight alongside House Potter. We all know that magic will have something nasty in store for those that are Allied for attacking my House or its Allies. Now you know _who_ the allies are."

It made sense of a sort. Instead of this being a show of flexing muscle the young man was trying to prevent infighting if something bad happened. The explanation seemed rather long-winded and circular but it worked.

"Now then," Harry continued to the room at large, "the original Oaths left little room to maneuver for renegotiation. Whatever your reasons for originally making the Pacts are your own, and -while I'll never know why- my parents accepted those same Oaths. While I'd prefer not to go the route the wording dictates, there's not much choice. I rather think it's my father's idea of a joke myself but nothing to do about it." His face was slowly turning red as he talked, before he paused and actually took in the faces of those around him; he couldn't believe what he was seeing. "Oh come on, not one of you told your children what you've set them up for?"

That caused Hermione and Luna to look around to take in the various looks of confusion, disbelief, and anxiety that they could see before looking at each other and suppressing laughter. It was beyond ironic as had the Weasley's not broken their end of the Pact –if they'd had one at all that is- Ginny would be in this very room and imitating a rampaging bull.

"Somewhere a dead man is laughing at us," Harry groused to nobody; he could almost _hear_ the laughter of his father –forget his grandfather whom he _could_ hear laughing from his portrait- as he tried to power through the situation he now found himself in. If that wasn't enough he _knew_ his mother was both laughing at him and chasing his father around for the results of this madness. He returned his voice to the previous level to address the room, "Since it falls to me to say it with this bloody lot of cowards not wanting to feel the wrath of their children: those families with daughters that made Pacts with House Potter essentially set it up as betrothals. How or why they went along with it is beyond me nor was it my idea. I've enough to deal with having to revive not only my House but Houses Black, McKinnon and a few others to remain nameless for the time being. As for those families with sons: whenever you have daughters they're to marry a son of my House. Rubbish bollocks, I know but there's not much we can do about it . . . for the time being. There are much bigger things to deal with between now and then. If our fearless leader hadn't put a blanket oath on a certain subject I'd gladly tell you all about the upcoming year at Hogwarts and the madness that's likely to follow. Since I can't, well . . . anyhow, each and every Pact family in this room will at some point in time be related to House Potter; ruddy Oaths! Why the bloody hell did you people do this to my generation?!"

He stopped vocalizing his frustration and started pacing around like a caged animal, his magic reacting to his emotions causing the first three rows of chairs to spontaneously transfigure themselves into random junk including but not limited to: a lawn mower, a bicycle, a baseball bat, a kitchen sink, a statue of Dumbledore getting kicked in the groin, a javelin, another statue of Ron during his "Slug Puke-fest", a knicker launcher, so on and so forth.

The people that had been sitting in those chairs gave indignant squawks of protest for suddenly having to leap for safety lest they find something poking their posteriors.

"Right, sorry about that," Harry looked as surprised as everybody else at the mayhem he'd just caused, having tilted his head to the left and using his left hand to scratch his cheek. "It just gets me that desperation brew such stupidity. It's not fair to the daughters/nieces here that would rather marry a _single_ wizard for love and not obligation. Teenager's fantasy my arse; it's going to be a bloody nightmare is what it's going to be between continuing lines, reviving others, weddings, children of our own and what-have-you. It gets even worse for the sons because they automatically have a betrothal for any future daughters that aren't even twinkles in their eyes yet. For all of that, I'm still willing to go through with this not for my sake but rather the sakes of those that are finding out their parents gave them the shaft before they were even born. I've too much on my plate as it is, for example: Amelia and Susan may be standing in this room but because of the type of family theirs is, Edgar made House Potter in charge of House Bones. Works for Susan because she gets to keep her name; kind of screws Amelia because she can't make any major moves in the name of the family without my approval. Things like that aren't right; in fact they're down right barmy. I said it once, I'll say it again before we end this rather disastrous get together: the Pacts are not my idea, I did not ask for them but I will honor them if nothing else to eventually free the Houses tied to mine without magic itself getting upset at us for going our own ways. Now then, it's late; I'm certain we're all getting tired and cranky. If you can, be at the Public Session of the Wizengamot starting tomorrow to understand some of what I've rambled about."

With that, he led the group to the floo in the living room and bid each individual a good night, even if he got an evil eye or two for the way he'd imploded as a Head of House. Those that he went to Hogwarts with were far more sympathetic to his plight, offering a kind word and a genuine if small smile in return for his consideration of their feelings.

Once everybody else was gone, including Hermione and Luna as they'd curfew to be home for, did he give in to the urge to face-palm and let loose a loud groan of dismay.

_That could've gone _so_ much better_, he thought.

TBC

Now for an explanation to Harry's actions: he's fourteen and acting like it for a change. He'd managed to get through the Wizengamot because of the fact he'd time to relax, _think_, recharge and then plan his way through while managing to disconnect his emotions. Like everybody else, his patience eventually ran out and at the worst time possible.


	5. Magical Maturity 4

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

_**HEADS UP: The Whumping begins! As a warning, I seem to have lost some marbles somewhere so things are going to get strange . . .**_

Magical Maturity, Arc One Part Four

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_**0745 Monday August 15, 1994; Public Wizengamot Chambers**_

Word had spread rather quickly that the Public Session of the Wizengamot was not an event to miss. At all of quarter to eight the place was packed with more standing out in the halls, hoping for either random expansion of the room or somebody foolish enough to leave for the loo. To accommodate said public, these Chambers were designed differently from the Private Chambers in that the Lords and Ladies weren't sitting around a bowl. Here it was more of a horseshoe similar to Court Room Ten down near the Department of Mysteries so that those in the gallery could see their governing body without having to twist their necks or outright turn around assisted by three giant crystal "sheets" hung from the ceiling in a triangular pattern. This device, once seen by a Half-Blood that had attended a Muggle sporting event, named it "The Jumbotron" for it mimicked the electronic device to a Tee. Upon every desk within every balcony was a Rune-inscribed audio/visual device –an older camera modified for such purposes- that fed into the giant screens.

As the session wasn't called yet, the balconies that lined the horseshoe were all dark; each equipped with a privacy barrier for any last minute conversations that needed to take place.

None of that mattered to a quartet of Weasley's.

It was not Molly Weasley's day, and it just started. At promptly five in the morning the ghoul in the attic decided that silence was _not_ golden as the saying went. While the effects weren't nearly as bad for her as for Ron -whom had the room closest to the noise-maker- the entire Burrow had been awakened.

At five-oh-five, in an effort to have _somebody_ do something about the noise from the ghoul, she'd jerked her door open with far too much force. The solid oak panel came off of the suddenly failing hinges, knocking her over as it crashed through the "Master" bedroom. She'd lost her dresser, mirror, two wardrobes and the exterior window. Arthur blinked owlishly from bed at the mayhem before rolling over to make the bad dream go away.

At ten after five, after collecting herself, Molly stepped out of her room to head upstairs. The stairs, it seemed, had a different idea as the entire set attic to ground floor spontaneously turned into a slide sending her skidding on her arse out the front door –without opening it.

By five thirty, a now hacked off Matriarch finished her preparations for battle in her own house. Giving a war-cry that echoed off of the surrounding hills she charged up the still-converted stair/slide with her wand in her right hand, the iron fire poker in her left, and a large pot that she didn't place on her head as armor. She managed to get to the attic to deal with the ghoul –somehow without making it angrier than usual- before letting out a sigh of relief.

That battle had lasted half an hour, and thoroughly occupied her mind to the point that she completely forgot about the stairs' recent rebellion and was thus sent skidding out of the house yet again at six.

Arthur, Fred and George ventured forth at that time, having given up on getting any extra sleep. The house appeared to sense when they were out and about as everything that wasn't damaged returned to normal before they noticed anything off. Breakfast was a quiet affair for the bruised.

Then came having to use the ruddy Floo. Of course the three whom hadn't done anything to Harry had smooth sailing. Molly was always the last to go through just in case she needed to divert to another grate as the occasional mishap was not out of the picture. Ron somehow managed to bungle his destination from the Ministry Atrium to the Romanian Dragon Preserve whilst Ginny wound up in South Africa of all places.

Rounding those two up was a hassle and a half, for they'd somehow bypassed international barriers to get where they ended up while she could not and thus had to pay each time to get them then pay for their unauthorized entry before finally getting to their destination at seven thirty.

Percy would tell any and all that this was not his day.

It'd been just over two weeks since the meeting at the Burrow he'd been forced into by his then girlfriend Penelope Clearwater. When he'd returned that night, in a snit but refusing to show more than a sneer as a proper Ministry Employee –read as: Pureblood- should, he'd found his stuff packed by the young woman and a notice of eviction. She'd been checking the mail and came across a notice from Gringott's that his access to his Vault was suspended pending audit due to possible theft, fraud and tax evasion.

Penny had wasted no time showing him the door.

The occasional glimpse of Potter over the next week was all he'd get, even though it was strangely within the Ministry building to which as far as the ginger knew the cause of his sudden ousting from his now ex-girlfriend's place had no reason to be within the Halls.

It was his salary that allowed him to get his own flat, he later learned, as the Goblins had reduced his Vault to almost nothing after assessing fines, refunds, interest, taxes and fees. The place made the crowded Burrow look like a Pureblood Manor for it was truly a dump.

Today had started like any at promptly six in the morning for routine was key to success within the Ministry. The first clue that something was wrong was when the rusted shower curtain rod gave up the ghost just as he was entering said shower, smacking heavily upon his head. Five minutes later the hot water charms on every single faucet failed. At six-fifteen his shaving charm went awry causing more than a few cuts to his face. Six thirty found his wood-fueled stove exploding for unknown reasons.

He'd finally gotten breakfast at the Alley, but not before three different awnings fell off their mounts in their attempts to crush him. That was before the animals in the Menagerie went on a rampage and nearly crushed him under paw, talon and whatnot. The last of his misadventures, just to get into the Ministry on time, was the Floo firing him out like a cannon at just the right angle to make a landing in the Magical Brethren Fountain.

It was not Ron's day in the least.

Any that bothered to get to know the youngest son learned three obvious truths about the boy. First, he loved food; Second, he hated work of any kind; Third, he loved sleep -the last to the degree that if it was possible he'd go to sleep at age five and wake sometime in his fifties and be handed his due on a silver platter.

When the ghoul for all intents and purposes lost its mind at God's Hour of the morning, Ron was jerked rudely from the land of Nirvana to reality. Then he fell out of bed, using his cranium to soften his landing. He could hear his mother go into Mount Molly mode that was unusually filled with vulgar language accompanied by the sounds of stuff being broken. Hoping to go back to sleep was a dead-man's dream as he'd somehow misjudged his leap/flop onto his bed bouncing off the other side to impact the wall.

Then his dresser decided it was too old to stay standing and fell over on top of him. This was where a Fourth Truth about Ron Weasley came into being: he had a temper that rivaled Vernon Dursley –not that they'd enjoyed each other's company long enough to compare notes. The pine dresser was not a light-weight item and being stuck under it with the noise of the ghoul was enough to ignite the powder keg.

Not that he'd know it, but it was now ten after five in the morning.

It took a bit but he'd managed to free himself from his prison to attempt returning to bed yet again. This failure was capped by bouncing off of the mattress yet again before the footboard found itself buried in his junk. Now thoroughly awake and mad as a Cerberus he decided to do something about the ghoul himself only to have his door fall in on his head. Recovering from that mishap he'd stepped out onto the landing just after his mother had two floors below.

On his way down he'd yet again hit his head on doors and walls. He managed to divert his path at the bottom by grabbing hold of the end of the railing so instead of the front door his destination was now the kitchen. His slide into home was halted by the table leg meeting the junction of his legs with enough velocity to bounce off on a tangent that took him into the cupboards. Said areas of storage lost structural integrity dumping their contents on him and sending one of the larger pots into the living room where it landed without notice on top of Molly's head.

Ron lay there for the better part of an hour, writhing in pain –unintentionally flinging pots and pans about- listening to the battle in the attic. He'd not kept track of the time, but he knew when his mother succeeded for the ghoul had finally gone silent then he heard her yells as she slid outdoors yet again.

Things settled down when his father and brothers were present. The next dose of mayhem occurred when trying to use the Floo. He'd misjudged where to stand thus lighting his robes on fire just as he dropped the powder and his incoherent ramblings somehow got him into his second oldest brother's workplace. He was greeted at wand-point too for his arrival wasn't scheduled nor did he obtain clearance to be there from anybody. It was a twenty minute wait before Molly arrived to clear up the madness of the morning.

It was not Ginny's day at all.

The youngest of the brood was entering the age where dreams occasionally transition over into reality. She was in the midst of one of those dreams involving Harry Potter and was almost to the Clouds before the Rain when the ghoul went berserk. The Prewitt blood in her lit on fire at the lost orgasm, igniting the second fiercest temper in the house.

Giving it up as a lost cause when she'd heard her mother attempting to handle the situation, she tried to go back to sleep when her bed frame came apart at the joints dropping her to the floor. The action had her spring mattress lose cohesion jamming one of the pieces of metal –fortunately for her covered in plastic, not that she'd know what that was- into her back door. After a pause in which she blinked owlishly this sent her flying into the ceiling from the unexpected/unwanted butt poke before she crashed to the floor thankfully missing the deathtrap her bed had become.

Getting dressed wasn't nearly the adventure waking up had been, then the bottom fell out as the saying goes. Her door attempted to attack her, however being more aware of the goings-on she managed to avoid a headache. Then she met the stairs.

A yelp was all that was heard from her on her way down as she pin-balled between the railing and the walls. The last wall she hit at the base of the stairs sent her skidding into the back of the couch with enough force to flip it over backwards smashing her face into the floor. This actually provided a bit of a boon moments later when Ron made his dynamic entry into the kitchen sending cookware flying by providing her cover from the pot lids turned Frisbees.

Getting out of from underneath the overturned couch she took a look at the stairs and gave up the thought of trying to get to the loo up there. Entering the seldom used 'guest' loo on the ground floor she was greeted by a family of raccoons that had taken up residence fleeing for their lives between her legs. She groaned in aggravation at the condition of the room but stuck with it as nature called and would not be denied.

It turned out that hovering rather than sitting on that particular toilet was a good idea for when she finished her business and went to flush she found the thing was clogged. Knowing that because her home qualified as a 'Magical Residence' she could use her wand to fix the problem did nothing for the fact that her wand was upstairs in her room.

Deciding to let Ron take the fall for the problems here, she quietly fled into the living room only to get attacked by said brother chucking pots out of his way in an effort to stand up; either that or he was flailing about in pain. Neither mattered to her for she finally had somewhat of an outlet for her temper. Just as she was about to return fire the sounds of battle in the attic stopped before moments later Molly came screaming down the stairs/slide and out the front door.

After a quiet breakfast, which she noticed was that way due to the presence of his father and older brothers, the chaos resumed with all haste. Ginny had seen the disastrous attempt at using the Floo that was Ron and her survival instinct kicked into high gear, which was justified moments later when her mother's shouting about her poor 'Ronnikens' somehow overrode her desired destination. Her stay in South Africa was just as productive as Ron's visit to Romania as the on duty guards greeted heart wand-point shouting at her wanting answers to why she was there at all. It was near seven when Molly made her grandiose entrance, temper already frayed to the maximum with Ron in tow.

That was then, now it was seven forty-five and the Weasley's –minus the out of country Bill and Charlie- were finally gathered within the Chambers.

"This day couldn't possibly get any worse," Molly grumbled after having to explain to Arthur the expenses encountered in retrieving their youngest children from abroad.

Said man was laid back by nature; a nice fellow who tolerated much and avoided conflict when he could. However, as was evidenced by the fight in the Alley prior to Second Year for Ron, the patriarch of the family had a nasty temper once he let his emotions rule his actions. Right now, he just wanted to hit something as hard as he could at the mayhem three of his family had caused within three hours this day. He'd yet to hear Percy's rumbling about a conspiracy to commit bodily harm on his person which would just make the situation even worse.

Harry was having a great day so far.

He'd woken at five from a most pleasant dream involving his more constant companions of late. He couldn't help but chuckle fiendishly at the things his imagination had cooked up while he slept. Having done his morning routine he experimented with his newfound ability to clone himself. He discovered that what they learned, he learned when they dispelled. The utility in such an ability was astronomical as he sent a platoon's worth of himself into his library to get caught up on his reading on just about every subject while another half-dozen went to his office to read all of the correspondence that was there.

He knew that Hermione and Luna wouldn't be by until later unless something came up. Downing an excellent breakfast he set about getting ready for his day before leaving for the Ministry at seven. By quarter after he was encased in his box, occasionally sending or receiving memos from the Allied Family's.

One of those memo's sent, duplicated to each Family, was a notice that he was going to leave the 'lights' of his box off once the session was called to order as a means of observing the goings-on when he wasn't present. What he didn't write down but many figured out was that Dumbledore was going to try something different from the norm if Harry made his presence known from the start.

By ten thirty, their suspicions were confirmed as the Chief Warlock kept pushing budget matters that were usually reserved for the Winter Session as a means of tying the money to the calendar.

Dumbledore had stalled as much as he dared and yet the candles in the Potter box were still unlit. He'd sent the occasional memo/plane in to see if the boy was in attendance as was rewarded with nothing which was what he wanted.

"Now for the Ministry Department reports," he changed tracks after the lunch break at noon, surprising those that hadn't figured out he was up to something. "We'll start with Misuse of Muggle Artifacts and work our way up to the MLE crime statistics then to the Minister's Office itself."

Amelia Bones was in a foul mood now. The day had started out so well too, but now as it neared five the drone from Magical Creatures went into a soliloquy about Crups and Grindylows somehow crossbreeding –as if it wasn't obvious some eccentric was doing it- she about lost her temper.

"Thank you," Dumbledore shooed the man away from the podium, taking note that it was now five 'til five and Bones would have to rush through her report or wait until tomorrow. He really didn't want the findings of any investigation into one of his supporters brought to light, complete with evidence from the Goblins. While it was unavoidable, he knew, it was still within his power to delay the reports while he tried to work out a solution; translated as: a way to save his own bacon. "Right, seeing as it's almost five motion to close for the day on the floor." Keeping his jovial old man persona became a challenge at the evil eye from just about every corner after that.

_**0745 August 16, 1994 Public Wizengamot Chambers**_

"Kill me, please," Molly Weasley begged to nobody in particular after a second morning of mayhem. While the stairs had done their slide trick again, gravity in the Burrow had apparently reversed itself as she'd been launched into the attic at a good clip, sending the ghoul into another berserker state waking the residents at five-thirty.

Ron drifted too far away from his father and the twins while they waited for the other shoe to drop from the DMLE, resulting in a piece of the balcony trim falling onto his head knocking him down. This had the effect of drawing said members of his family away from Ginny whom was treated to a similar occurrence almost instantly. That particular plank of wood rebounded from the impact angle into Percy's gut, knocking the wind out of him and causing him to face-plant into his mothers bum right as she was hit with a case of gas.

Arthur was ready with an _Evanesco_ as his third oldest lost his breakfast all over his mother's back, grimacing throughout the process. Some things in life he could do without; that incident was one of them.

From the Potter box, Harry watched as a space opened up around the family of Gingers as falling debris, projectile vomit and a nasty smell from whatever the matriarch ate yesterday made it an absolute hazard to be close to them. He was thankful for the privacy ward that kept in his laughter at the chaos they wrought without any effort. As he looked on the scene as best he could, he noticed that Ron had drifted away again this time under a candelabra that came loose from the ceiling and crashed to the floor. The lanky red head had fit through the cast iron braces and was frozen in fear at the hundred kilo predecessor to the chandelier before he too succumbed to a gas attack.

Right next to open flame.

The fireball he produced was magnificent and managed to ignite Molly's hair as she'd been making her way over to her youngest boy to ensure he was all right. It took her a moment to realize that, yes, her dome was on fire before she started running back and forth, arms flailing about in her blind panic.

Ginny, being the helpful person she was by nature when not dealing with Harry Potter or anything related to him, took aim with her wand for an _Aguamenti_ that instead came out like a tsunami and promptly flooded the lower level by half a foot. For all that, she did manage to put her mother's hair out and the candles that surrounded a still petrified Ron just before his arse rumbled again.

Harry couldn't contain his laughter at the sheer silliness of the situation. It was Ginny's action that got the Auror guards to do their jobs and 'quarantine' the family somewhere where they couldn't possibly cause any more trouble within the Chambers.

It was now eight in the morning. It took the Weasley's all of fifteen minutes to make complete fools of themselves as Bozo the _Prophet_ cameraman snapped away at the chaos around him.

"I'm trying to save them why?" Dumbledore meant to mumble that to himself yet the audio charms that made it so that the entire room could hear without being shouted at picked it up. "Oh damn it, what's that command phrase?! Mute, Off, Stop . . . ah bugger . . . !"

"Chief Warlock, if we could," Amelia Bones' voice came forth. Even though she was sitting behind the desk in her box the tone clearing indicated that if she wasn't she'd have her hands on her hips with a foot tapping in impatience.

"Picking up from where we left off yesterday," Dumbledore said after the opening ceremony in an effort to get back on track, "we'll be hearing from the Minister's Office about the mrph-mumble GAH!" What had stopped his speech was his beard migrating into his mouth and not a few people wondering how many times the Old Man had tried this diversionary tactic in previous meetings.

The Chambers heard the chime of attention before the Jumbotron switched from displaying the Chief Warlock fighting his facial hair –with little success to boot- to a display of the Crest of the family that was wanting the floor. A left-to-right diagonal wand, right-to-left diagonal sword behind a shield emblazoned with a P and an animated griffon.

Murmurs ran through the room at that particular Coat-of-Arms, to which those on the left side -opposite the Potter box- looked up only to find the candles and glow-stones snuffed. On the crystal, the rotating image shrunk and moved into the lower left hand corner revealing a dark background. A shadow moved, light reflected off of a pair of glasses, and the Chambers found themselves subject to a variation of the _Pose of Death_.

"Dumbledore, what are you trying to pull?" demanded Harry, ignoring the raised voices all around. "I gotta give a clue here now: I don't want any more bullshit any time during this session; from anybody. I don't want anybody yelling, sneering, farting or trying to dodge the subject. I get any more of that and the shit is gonna hit the fan. You," here he paused for a bit, watching as the subject of his ire appeared from trying to wrestle his beard on the floor, falling over backwards while holding it at arm's length from his face, "aren't even listening. Right, where were we yesterday . . . ah, yes. Madam Bones I do believe the floor is yours when our Chief quits fighting his hair."

It was fascinating to watch as Dumbledore reappeared from his tussle, physically punching his beard trying to force submission. The facial hair had a mind of its own, occasionally dodging a strike for the man to hit himself in the chest.

"Would somebody hit him with a _Finite_ please?" Harry asked the room at large, still encased in darkness as he refused to turn the lights on in his box. While it was comical to see, it'd been half an hour already and the Old Man was making no progress forcing his rebellious beard into behaving itself. The request had more than a dozen answers as magic pelted the Chief Warlock's box. "You gotta be kidding me, nobody has decent aim around here? Observe."

Everybody in the Chambers felt a discharge of magic as a translucent yet colorless beam of energy left the Potter box with enough force to create a stiff breeze. When the magic hit Dumbledore, his beard fell limp like it'd never been alive in the first place just as said person took a head-high swing at it hitting himself in the face. This would've been enough if the _Finite_ hadn't had enough juice behind it to kill his garish shooting stars robes before the magic that made the stitches perfect failed and the cloth disintegrated from overload leaving the man butt naked.

"Argh, my eyes!" yelled just about everybody in attendance at seeing Albus Dumbledore in the buff, either directly or on the Jumbotron. "Please, make it go away! _Obliviate_ me!"

"What'd I miss?" wondered the Chief Warlock before feeling the stiff breeze from the overpowered _Finite_ wash over his box. "What the devil happened to my robes?!"

"Damn it man, just get dressed!" roared Fudge, red in the face at the mayhem befalling his precious building. Blast it all, especially that Potter boy as the Jumbotron had returned to the feed from his box.

"Well, not what I had in mind," was the sheepish declaration, a shadow on what would be Harry's left moving indicating that he was scratching the back of his head in nervousness. Coughing a few times as a means of distraction while Dumbledore got sorted out, he carried on. "Right then, now that we're all under control . . . wait, somebody want to get the public some pails and do some cleaning of the floor? Okay, uh . . . Madam Bones, all yours."

"_Thank you_," she delivered with enough sarcasm that Ron picked up on it.

Harry sat back after turning the feed to the Jumbotron off, leaning back in his chair while rubbing his face with both hands. It wasn't supposed to be this way, not at all! He knew it wasn't anything he was doing that was causing the random chaos this day for he could feel that his magic was pretty well settled. Whatever this was might well be a problem in the future if it didn't calm down; although he had no idea at the present time what was causing it let alone stopping it.

" . . . Fletcher was found guilty of pick-pocketing _again_, the Goblins report several thefts from one of the Houses . . . wait a minute," Bones had come across the very interesting findings of Gringott's Bank. Her box, being above the public on the left side of the horseshoe gave her a view of the Potter box. She could see a shadow move –it looked like a nod but was actually Harry dozing off in boredom-, making her grimace for what was about to happen was going to ruin a few people. "Houses Weasley and Dumbledore, according to Gringott's records, have been helping themselves to money from House Potter on top of what the Goblins deem an illegal Betrothal Contract . . ."

"For fuck's sake," Harry groaned to nobody, banging his head on his desk –although it did have the effect of waking him up-, "Just what are they _doing_?!"

". . . Between Houses Weasley and Potter. The reason that they deem it illegal is the consignors: Molly Weasley née Prewitt and Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore; not to mention the rather outrageous Bride Price and other codicils totaling just under ten million Galleons standard signed November One, Nineteen Eighty-One. House Dumbledore by itself is accused of payments to the Muggle guardians of the then Heir of Potter in the amount of two hundred Galleons a month recovered from the Main Potter Vault at a rate of," she trailed off, blinking at the figures before her, "fifty _thousand_ Galleons per month, again from November of Eighty-One, pro bono as Albus Dumbledore claimed Magical Guardianship of said Heir when one of two Godparents wasn't disqualified from those vows by any means."

The image on the Jumbotron spilt, pushing Amelia to the left while the darkened background from the Potter box took up the right.

"Excuse me a minute here," he growled, green eyes flaring with power making them visible on the crystals hanging from the center of the horseshoe, "but are you telling me that my . . . _relatives_ . . . were indeed compensated for taking me in when in fact all they every did was whine, bitch, complain and take their frustrations out on me for an entire decade?!"

Amelia Bones wasn't afraid of much, but for the briefest of moments she was reminded of Charlus –and on occasion Dorea- Potter whenever somebody made them mad enough to radiate their power without trying. She wasn't the only one to have flashbacks to the results of a hacked off Potter; those in attendance that were old enough to remember the pair suffered a shiver in their spine.

"Uh, yes," the head of the DMLE managed to say without squeaking like a First Year.

"We're going to deal with this immediately," Harry's tone had gone flat, another sure sign of the apocalypse as far as some were concerned, "therefore Molly, Percival, Ronald and Ginevra Weasley; front and center," he took note that they weren't moving fast enough for his tastes, "_NOW!_ Dumbledore, get your wrinkled arse down in the pit this instant! As for my _oh-so-loving_," this was laced with enough sarcasm to make Umbridge envious, "relatives . . ." Again a shadow moved, this time highlighted by the ethereal glow from his eyes as his left arm waved down at the pit before the feed from his box was again turned off.

What appeared wasn't _quite_ what he was expecting. Apparently some things in life come back to haunt those who push too hard for whatever is their motivation.

**[SECTION EDITED TO CONFORM WITH FANFICTION . NET RULES]**

"Oh, this is rich. _I'm_ the freak in the family am I?" Harry couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or be ill at the sight –forget just a random passing thought- at his Aunt with her ten inch penis in hand that was just as real as -if shorter than- his. Objectively, he knew applying that label was wrong as some strange genetic quirk was going to pop up from nowhere that caused a person to be born with both sets of reproductive organs . . . but this was _Petunia_, Missus "_I Am Normal, Hear Me Roar_" Dursley née Evans that had said quirk. '_Wait, where'd this come from?_' he wondered before face-palming. '_Oh, right those clones in the Library._'

One moment Vernon Dursley was getting ready for some stress relief of his own after getting affairs, such as _finally_ getting his house repaired, in order; the next he found himself –and his newly hired stress-relief slash secretary- in a room full of people looking at either his person or immediately to his right in surprise and . . . was that disgust/distaste showing through stoic façades? His stress reliever hadn't gotten into a good rhythm –objectively, she hadn't even started yet- before spontaneously disappearing from her position that had originally been under his desk, sky blue blouse wide open and bra removed.

"It gets better!" Harry sneered at his Uncle before another wave of his hand had the young woman, who appeared to still be a teenager, if barely, with her rather impressive breasts –rather than knowing the size, he based this on how firm they looked and how far they jutted out from her chest- swinging in the breeze, stuffed under his desk to be dealt with after the session. He knew he owned Grunnings and he'd be damned if some poor soul who needed the work was tossed out on the streets due to the actions of the greedy man now fighting his trousers under a blanket before noticing his wife and her extra appendage.

Indeed, as Vernon fought to get his girth –not so much what made him male as that had some of the Purebloods feeling better about themselves but his belly- back within his pants his face turned a lovely shade of puce at the sight of Petunia with a male tool in hand. It took a bit of visual inspection on his part to realize that yes, she not only had Rod A but also Slot B.

"What the devil is this nonsense?!" he demanded to the room at large as his eyes fell upon Albus Dumbledore. "Ooh, ruddy freaks! I oughta slaughter you all for what you've done to my wife!"

As chaos descended down in the pit, from Vernon trying to get up in a hurry and falling down twice to Petunia trying to land a rather nasty right hook on her husband's face, Harry could only face-palm in annoyance before the head of the woman he'd just stuffed under his desk popped out to figure out where she was.

"Penny?" he couldn't believe it, there was no way that chance and providence would allow Penelope Clearwater to be a lowly secretary for Vernon Dursley to use as he apparently was going to. "Right, we'll chat later. Right now, do me a favor and stay down there as we're in the Wizengamot Public Chambers and many of the Pureblood yokels will have a conniption if they see you. Oh, and before I do anything I'll regret later, are you still dating Percy?"

"No," she answered from her position between his legs, surprised into motionlessness from being in such close proximity to Harry Potter thus causing her to forget her exposure. "I'd tossed that git out almost three weeks ago when the Goblins sent notice of restrictions. Had to get work on the Muggle side as he ran off at the mouth about me, saying rather hurtful things and destroying any chance I had to get a good paying Magical job as I _'threw away my patron'_."

"Well then, this may or may not be entertaining," he said as he leaned back in his chair, unintentionally giving the recent Hogwarts graduate a hint that he wanted her to do something in return when he was in all actuality simply taking in the chaos.

"You misunderstand my intentions," Dumbledore was pleading his case on the fly while Harry was distracted, trying to find a way to save at least his face. "While yes Mister and Missus Dursley here were paid for taking in young Mister Potter, as his Magical Guardian I had to _OOH-OOH AAH-AAH_!"

The Chambers paused in a perfectly timed act of stillness as what was once Albus Dumbledore the man became the chimpanzee. He, with far too many titles, starting jumping up and down in frustration at a speech of his being interrupted. It got even better when Lord Parkinson, in a rare display of humor –more than likely in an attempt to save his sanity- stifled a laugh with a cough.

Chimp-Albus was not amused to the point that his magic, still intact even if he was currently being made a monkey of, produced a pile of feces that the esteemed elder wasted no time in chucking at the laugher.

"Really Dumbledore," Augusta Longbottom's face took up the entirety of the Jumbotron as Amelia had fallen over laughing. "We're used to your verbal pooh flinging but to have to physically do it? Have you lost what few marbles you had left?"

"_OOH, AAH, OOH-OOH, AAH_!" was the answer she got for even trying as the once most revered man in centuries lobbed a piece of dung at her box.

"Can we get on with this _please_?!" Bones had recovered from the sheer silliness of seeing Dumbledore make a fool of himself to try to get the Session back on track. Deciding to ignore the Amazing Bouncing Primate –under his own power to boot!- she carried on with her duty as Head of Magical Law Enforcement. "Right, where was I . . . oh, yes. Each of you in the pit, yes even you Dumbledore, are in significant trouble with not only the Goblins but also my Department; keep in mind this whole mess came to light after the wards at the Burrow fell from an overpowered Howler in retaliation to a Howler for being hexed within Gringott's while attempting to access a vault illegally. The punishment from Gringott's, and by extension Barclay's for the former Guardians of Lord Potter, is deemed insufficient by the Magical Law Enforcement. Said punishments are as follows: House Dumbledore, reduced as it is to two members, was stripped of all holdings liquid and solid in the Isles including but not limited to the Family Library, _Hog's Head_ Inn, two houses in Hogsmeade, three properties in Godric's Hollow, all contents of any Vaults under said House's name and is henceforth barred from Goblin Territory for eternity. Vernon and Petunia Dursley, your accounts have been emptied in recompense of not using the funds provided for the care of Harry James Potter for the twelve years he was in residence." She paused for a drink of water. "Now for the tricky part. House Weasley, some of your members have been involved in theft from Vault Six Eighty-Seven. As the actions began with Molly Weasley née Prewitt the punishments begin with her: the Goblins have refunded the two thousand Galleons taken from said Vault and the Bride Price for the illegal Marriage Contract from House Prewitt as the Head of House Weasley was not aware of the goings on –even if he should have been paying more attention to the members of his House by either blood or marriage. Furthermore, House Prewitt, akin to House Dumbledore, was stripped of all holdings in the British Isles to account for fines, taxes, etcetera, et al and is forevermore banned from Goblin Territory. As for House Weasley itself, Ministry records show that the only above-age member involved –even if he was a minor at the time- in the thefts has forsaken the name. The Wizard formerly known as Percival Ignatius Weasley ceased to exist just after graduating from Hogwarts; in accordance to paperwork filed with the Department of Inheritance he legally disowned himself and became Percival Weatherby. Gringott's has drained the Vault of Weatherby and officially barred him, regardless of name, from their Territory 'til the end of time." Another pause for a drink of water; there were times when Amelia hated her job. "As noted earlier, this is insufficient in the eyes of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. For systematic, continuous abuse of a minor regardless of blood status: Vernon Dursley is sentenced to the Veil; Petunia Dursley is sentenced to twenty years in Azkaban while her minor son Dudley shall be placed with any living relatives and _Obliviated_ of his parents' existence; Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore is fined an additional five million Galleons for conspiracy to commit abuse of a minor and for attempted Line Theft House Dumbledore forfeits all seats in all governmental bodies be they local, national or global. Percival Weatherby, having no other holdings, is herby dismissed from Ministry service for life with no possibility of reinstatement. Arthur Weasley, in lieu of Ronald and Ginevra Weasley as they are underage, is hereby demoted to Clerk of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office with no possibility of promotion for his remaining tenure. Said underage Magicals are blacklisted for life from all governmental positions. Molly Weasley née Prewitt is fined an additional ten million Galleons for attempted Line Theft and is forever banned from the Ministry."

While Amelia Bones was starting to dish out psychological pain to those in the Pit, whom were starting to scream about it all being Harry's -or anybody else they could think of but their own- fault in some twisted way except for Chimp-Dumbledore, who was jumping up and down in frustration again, the target of their misplaced ire had a nifty distraction in the form of a very attractive witch driving him mad.

**[SECTION EDITED TO CONFORM TO FANFICTION . NET RULES]**

For all of that, Harry came back to reality just as Madam Bones completed the rather lengthy list of just what the DMLE and Ministry thought of people stealing from one of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Houses. He ignored the fact that Penny was in the process of literally finishing what she started and making certain he was clean before tending to the mess on her person and setting everything back to the way it was.

In a way, as said Director moved onto the Sirius Black issue after the crowd in the pit was shoved either out the door or back over into the Gallery, he was disappointed in himself for not being in a position to return the favor as it were. _Then again_, the logical side of his mind offered after resetting, _this really isn't the time or place for that_.

"It was discovered last week," Bones was saying while Harry was introspective, "that Black never had a trial before or after his incarceration in Azkaban. As a matter of course, once it was brought to my attention, I personally went through the evidence room and found absolutely nothing; no wand, no written statements, absolute zilch. In light of genuine, physical evidence from the Vaults of Houses Potter and Black I put forth the motion for the trial of Sirius Black."

Just after she finished a memo came flying into the Chambers from outside. Normally this wasn't allowed but as the memo was red signifying an emergency it was allowed. As she read the memo she had to withhold the urge to scream for it was obvious that after twelve years Mister Black had enough of waiting on the justice system.

"Damn it," she grumbled, forgetting about the feed to the Jumbotron and catching more than a few by surprise, "that Warden is sacked, I don't care how but when I get my hands on him . . .," here she coughed, realizing that everybody was paying extra attention to her ramblings, ". . . it appears that Sirius Orion Black lost faith in us to do our jobs; the Warden of Azkaban has seen fit to tell my Department that some time _last year_ he released himself from their care."

"Madam Bones," the voice of Harry Potter carried over the din that announcement caused, "was there anything found in his cell that could be a clue, a _hint_ as to why he would escape?" Something was seriously foul here and he didn't like it.

"Just this," she replied as a picture from an old _Daily Prophet_ appeared on the crystals. What got more attention than the fact it was the Weasley family in Egypt was the rat on Ron's shoulder that was circled in . . . many hoped it was blood.

"There you are!" he breathed, eyes narrowing in realization that Pettigrew had been there the entire time. "Ronald Weasley, where is your rat Scabbers?"

When every eye in the Chambers fell on his person Ron lost the urge to have a temper tantrum as this was apparently very serious and could equal even more trouble than he was already in. "He ran off near the end of last term, never found his body. I thought it was that bint Granger's half-Kneazle Crookshanks that got him but-," he was rudely cut off by a wave of magic coming from the Potter box.

"Insult her again and it'll be a Blood Feud," his shadowy image leaned closer to the pickup for the Jumbotron which allowed the glow from his eyes to be more pronounced. "No narratives Weasley, just answers. Your rat is gone, and you've no idea where. That's all I care about. Now; why did none of you ever think that a rat living over a decade, forget more than five years, wasn't worth any scrutiny?"

That question stumped not only said Weasley's but also Dumbledore. He'd seen that particular rodent not just when he was a student but after the fiasco of Eighty-One posing as a pet to Percy then Ron.

"Humph, and you say the Mundane have no common sense; really," Harry grumbled, shaking his head in disappointment. It didn't escape his notice that before his Maturity he didn't bother to think on the matter of Scabbers age himself. "Right, well to get back on task: Sirius Black. My parents journals, along with the journal of Sirius himself, clearly state that Pettigrew was the Keeper not Black therefore he couldn't have betrayed them to '_That Guy_'," he paused, taking in the looks if incredulity before expounding on it. "Please, you are afraid to death of his moniker; don't truly know his birth name and I prefer mocking the douche so I give you a new name for _him_: That Guy. You know, That Guy that couldn't kill a toddler; That Guy that nobody really knows –or bothered to research- where he came from; That Guy that was nothing more than an overpowered bully that hates all life including his own; That Guy that was living, breathing proof that Mundane blood can reawaken and/or strengthen Magical Lines? Yeah, That Guy. Anyway, back on point; Sirius Black was _not _the Secret Keeper for my parents' _Fidelius Charm_, therefore it is impossible that he let _That Guy_ into the cottage where they were staying which coincidentally belonged to House Dumbledore at the time. As for killing Pettigrew, again the journals highlight the fact that Peter became an Animagus alongside both my father and godfather; Pettigrew had the rather fitting form of a rat. Notice, if you will, that rat on Weasley's shoulder is missing a toe and that, no, it's not dead."

"Whatever," Cornelius Fudge barked, having lost patience with the young Lord, "then all that's left is a rather heavy breach of the Statute of Secrecy and murder of a dozen Muggles. For that alone I hereby order the _Dementor's Kiss_ for Sirius Orion Black should he be caught by the Aurors."

"You can't do that!" the Director of Magical Law Enforcement screamed as the Jumbotron now had three feeds going into it: Fudge on the left, the lack of light that was Potter in the center and Amelia on the right. "First and foremost; _you_ are_ not_ in charge of my Department, I am! Second of all you're dangerously close to setting a precedent in regards to Purebloods not getting trials yet for all intents and purposes getting killed guilty or not! We already need to get a new Chief installed, forget needing a new representative to the I.C.W and you want to play a game with the Houses?! Have you lost your mind?!"

"You must not like your job," Harry's voice carried all sorts of danger with it that was matched by the narrowing of his eyes. "To order such a thing on a person –forget Blood Status- that as far as anybody rightly cares is neither guilty or innocent due to lack of trial means you'll gladly kill _anybody_ that goes against your desires. Well I've got a reality check for you and the rest of the Ministry of Malcontents: it doesn't work that way! You weren't even Minister when everything happened, and by that alone you could be seen as a 'True and Just' leader. Instead, for gross negligence and abuse of power I put forth the motion for a Vote of No Confidence in the Fudge Administration."

Penny, listening in from under his desk, nearly joined the cacophony of shouts being issued from not just the Gallery but also the other Boxes. It should be understood that the Vote of No Confidence against an entire Administration hadn't been called for in close to three hundred years. While it was one thing to go after a sitting Minister by themselves it was entirely something else to, for all intents and purposes, call the entire Ministry to task. Thus, as the voices got louder in an attempt to convey their displeasure over everybody else's, it was completely understandable that her own slight shriek was unheard.

"Wretched Halfblood!" roared Umbridge over the din with a face that resembled a tomato –not a good combination with her toad-like appearance. "This . . . this . . . _farce_ has gone on more than long enough! You're not even of age to be sitting in that chair boy; much less you're not of the proper parentage! Aurors; take _Mister_ Potter straight to Azkaban! Throw him in the Nest!"

"Hold that order!" Amelia's voice raised even more than the Undersecretary. "What the hell is wrong with you people? First Cornelius and now you Dolores? Nobody runs the DMLE but _me_! Get it through your thick skulls that I'm in charge of the Aurors, Hit-Wizards, Azkaban, Dementors, and the Veil! Any and all matters of Justice go through _my_ office, not yours!"

"Enough!" Harry's voice wasn't close to the loudest but the wave of magic that almost knocked everybody over got their attention. "You all heard Madam Umbridge, yes? It's that kind of attitude that spawns Dark Lords you bumbling bunch of baboons! '_Proper parentage_' my arse, Tom Marvolo Riddle –_That Guy_ if you weren't paying any attention- was beyond a shadow of a doubt the proof that your Pureblood ideals are garbage! Show of hands, how many people remember the Gaunt family?" Just about everybody from Augusta Longbottom's generation and older, even those in the Gallery including the strangely still a chimpanzee Dumbledore, raised a hand. "Right, and I know you all remember just how bad-off that House was; the only magical talent they had left was the Parseltongue passed down from Salazar Slytherin himself. In mid to late nineteen twenty-six Merope Gaunt became enamored with a Mundane from a wealthy family in the area, one Tom Riddle Senior. She, borderline Mundane herself and not wanting to breed with her brother Morfin, wasted no time in dosing the young man with Love Potions when her father and brother were in a brief sojourn to Casa de Dementor. When she confirmed she was pregnant she stopped giving them to the father of her child whom promptly ran back to his family claiming ensnarement. Her father, Marvolo, showed her the door –ironically enough, days before his own death- after she refused to have the unborn child killed and left her to her fate in London in nineteen twenty-seven. Come June twenty-first of that year, Merope found her way to a Mundane Orphanage where she gave birth to and named her only child: Tom Marvolo Riddle, before her death. _That Guy_, born a Half-Blood, had almost every gift Slytherin had at the time of his death in nine ninety-eight as a result of a over-bred Pureblood having the child of a Mundane. So you, Umbridge, can take your '_Proper Parentage_' verbal diarrhea and choke on it! Insult my parents again and I'll challenge you to a duel to the death!"

Those listening were absolutely stunned. The most powerful and feared Dark Lord in centuries had the potential at his disposal due to his birth, and that was before he went through the empowering rituals forget his own Maturity.

"Now then, since one of two reasons I've bothered with this Session," Harry began calmly even if still livid, "has absconded from the lovely vacation he was on; once we deal with appointing a new Minister, Ministry Staff, Chief of the Wizengamot and International Representative I'll be enjoying what's left of summer before the World Cup followed by the entertainment that is Hogwarts. Let's get this done and over with for I have places to be, people to talk to, and maybe I can act my age for a bit without being made into a circus sideshow."

_**1800 Same Day, Potter Battlements**_

"Hurray and huzzah," Harry deadpanned over dinner to Hermione, Luna and Penny, "that didn't go exactly as planned."

The Vote of No Confidence was the only measure that failed to go through leaving Fudge McOstrich in charge. The man seemed smug in his victory even though seeds of doubt had been planted about his leadership skills. Then again, without the walking purse that was Lucius Malfoy he might turn out to be a decent Minister. To prove himself, since his margin of keeping his job was far smaller than he wanted, he declared that Sirius would get his trial after all. Harry took that with a grain of salt and privately tasked Madam Bones with insuring the man in the bowler hat didn't feed his godfather to a Dementor when nobody was looking.

**[SECTION EDITED TO CONFORM TO FANFICTION . NET RULES]**

TBC

There's as good a place as any to stop. Yes, I know, long update window but real life got in the way. *shrug* Some things are just out of my control. Thank you patient readers and reviewers!

_**Edit note:**_ Since there's been a plague of account and story deletions, the parts of this fic that go over the allowable M-Rating have been removed on this site only. The full, unedited version can still be found over on hpfanficarchive, where the Admins aren't out of control nor do they selectively do anything about stories.


	6. Magical Maturity 5

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

_**Special notes:**_ The strangeness I've started to delve into is going to be around for a while as a major plot point. I know that some don't like the fact I've backed off of the "Serious Harry" angle but . . . he's fourteen for crying out loud and can't possibly be in control all the time. At least it's not "Indecisive Harry" where he asks twenty billion times if he should actually do whatever he's hung up on. If you see something that looks like a discussion from the only other site I post to (hpfanficarchive) then enjoy the warm and fuzzies for being an inspiration. The "Serious Harry" will make a gradual comeback after the Tri-Wizard as general mayhem will abound. Also, for those of you that are unhappy with the Weasley Thumping/adult content I must reiterate that it's a plot point only. This means that except for the "opening acts" those actions will be more in the background so as to avoid repetitiveness.

Magical Maturity, Arc One Part Five

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_**0900 August 17; Potter Battlements**_

"You know you never told us all of what happened yesterday," first thing out of the Floo and Hermione had Harry in interrogation. Her mood wasn't helped by the fact that she was almost trampled by uncountable Harry Potter clones running about the place continuing whatever tasks he'd sent them on before she could frog-march her friend into a different room.

"Well," he blushed in response, fidgeting in his chair, "you know . . . that thing with Penny . . . I just lost track of everything I guess."

His admission to where his mind went after dinner caused her to zone out in remembrance before she shook her head to clear away the images her imagination –and her libido- had started bombarding her with. She'd seen the other half of events last night moving stuff into the Battlements with what appeared to be a permanent goofy look on her face.

"Spill," she commanded, fully aware that if she pushed too hard she'd be receiving the Pose of Death again which caused her to shudder and add, "please."

Just as he was figuring out how to get started, a new distraction made itself known as off in the background Dobby could be heard. "Harry Potters Sirs stop that! You's no be workings like Elf; Dobby do's that!"

Harry and Hermione looked at each other before his voice drifted in the open door, "No Dobby . . . I said no! Hey, how'd you clone yourself? Whoa!"

From the room that Hermione had wrangled Harry into the pair watched as a couple hundred Dobbys marched by levitating just as many Harrys whom were struggling to get free to go back to whatever they'd been doing that had upset the excitable Elf. One of the Harrys managed to grab the door frame after spotting the original and pulled himself back into view even if he was horizontal to the floor.

"You see this!" the clone grunted in exertion as the Dobby levitating him walked into view with what could only be a shrewd look on his face. "This is what happens when you give the Elves too much leeway! C'mon Dobby, stop that I say!"

"You's being bad Harry Potter Sirs ninety-seven," Dobby-clone shook his right index finger at the misbehaving body over his head. "Master Harry Potter Sir no being telling you to cleans house today's."

"But I'm tired of the library!" was the immediate rebuttal/complaint as he fought wherever it was the Dobbys had decided to do to rectify the situation.

"Do I really sound like that?" Harry had turned his attention to Hermione on his left while gesturing at his clone with his right hand in an effort to ignore his rebelling self.

"From time to time yes," she answered nonchalantly with a smirk, taking great satisfaction and not a bit of amusement at seeing her best friend confronted with the truth of the matter.

"Bloody hell," he breathed, before turning his attention to the clone. "Just go with it, I can always spawn you later to do other things. In fact, find original-Dobby and figure out how he learned the cloning trick."

"Yes boss," his mirror image looked relieved to not have to spend another day in the library and let go of the door jamb. "Right, you heard the man: take me to your leader."

"Now then, about yesterday . . .," Hermione hinted as her arms crossed while her right foot started lightly tapping on the floor after that distraction was gone.

"Oh for . . . you just won't let it go will you," he threw his arms up in exasperation. As he settled back in his chair Luna made her presence known by cart-wheeling into the one-of-many studies/tea rooms.

Harry Potter made an important discovery in regards to the quirky blond this day. While she was in a skirt as was her norm when she collided with him she was upside-down. They tumbled over backwards, chair and all, to which he found himself staring up at her unclothed crotch from what illumination he had as they'd landed with her straddling his head. In his surprise his limbs went wild in every direction for a moment as his head jerked forward effectively shoving his nose and glasses into the junction of her legs.

Hermione wanted to huff and scream in aggravation as yet another distraction made itself known before she settled into a pout at being delayed –read as: ignored- in getting her answers. That pout quickly went away when Harry's arms and legs flailed about for a moment then Luna wound up on the other side of the room so fast she might just as well have Apparated without a sound.

"No knickers?" his dazed voice barely made it to either of their ears from his position on the floor causing the brunette to turn an evil eye on the blond only to find said girl blushing up a storm. "Nice . . .," his goofy grin from last night was back adding further fuel to the fire that was Hermione's temper.

"Hello all!" Penny's cheerful greeting fell flat as she stepped into the room, taking note of Harry on the floor –somehow still in his tipped over chair- with a glazed look in his eyes; Luna in the corner to the left of the door furiously blushing and continuously tugging her skirt downwards; Hermione standing over Harry, hands clenching and relaxing as if she wanted to hurt somebody. "What'd I miss?"

"I want to know what happened yesterday!" the younger brunette couldn't contain herself anymore. "Every time I ask some random mayhem occurs and I'm getting rather fed up with it!" A vase on a corner table exploded as her magic responded to her aggravation. "Can we talk now or is the world going to end spontaneously as well?!"

Knowing that getting into a row over something as simple as a conversation that had been interrupted by happenstance was a futile effort, Harry waved his hand and righted his chair while still in it. The three young women gawked for a moment at the casual display of wandless magic before settling into chairs of their own with Hermione on his left, Penny directly across and Luna on his right before giving the brunette what she wanted.

"But he's Dumbledore!" she huffed in frustration when she found out about not only the Headmaster's spontaneous transformation into a primate but also that the DMLE had for all intents and purposes thrown every book they had at him.

"Hermione, he's human," Harry's visage had become stern. "Everybody makes errors; you, me, Fudge . . . it doesn't matter who you are. Dumbledore's mistakes were on a far greater scale though with far greater consequences. I could've, quite easily, turned into another Tom Riddle which nobody wants or needs."

"But-!" she tried to defend the authority of the Headmaster only to be interrupted.

"No; he doesn't fart roses or shite chocolate cake!" his voice had hardened considerably. "I know you know better than this. You think the Mundane have no tolerance for child abuse; the Magicals are downright insane in regards to the issue. Why else do you think Bones ordered my Uncle tossed through the Veil of Death? It had nothing to do with his origins in the least and everything to do with how he . . ." Harry huffed in frustration before continuing on. "_Dumbledore put me in that house_. He ignored any and everybody in regards to how I was treated! If I had arrived at Hogwarts in ninety-one with the attitude of Riddle, Magical society probably would've torn itself apart! And the blame for the whole thing –regardless of how I act _now_- rests at Dumbledore's feet!"

Penny and Luna were staying quiet as the two had it out while at the same time trying to ignore the imagery of a Dark Lord Potter running amok all because Dumbledore wanted to push his 'Greater Good' agenda. Whatever that truly meant as nobody but said man knew what the end game was even about.

Harry took a few moments to calm down, feeling upset with himself that he took his own frustrations out on somebody else forget doing it to his best friend/future spouse.

"Listen, all of you," he spoke after collecting himself. "My childhood in all truth ended Halloween of eighty-one. My previous home life was . . . horrid; yes that'll work. I don't like talking about it mostly because there's much of nothing that can be done about it now. The only reason the MLE had to investigate the Dursley's was because of the Weasley's getting caught helping themselves to my gold. Once they looked into that they traced all of the transactions from my vaults. If I'd had any say in the matter I'd just as soon forget they existed, blood relations or not." Seeing their capitulation on the matter he continued, "Now then; since Dumbledore's effectively been sacked from the political arena at large here and in the I.C.W., he might actually make for a decent Headmaster since all of his time can now be focused on Hogwarts. Tiberius Ogden got the International appointment –as the Mugwump represents whichever country they're from- while the new Chief of the Wizengamot is Elphias Doge, who from what I hear has been an attaché to that body for close to fifty years."

"What about the attempt to remove Fudge?" Penny asked, not quite understanding Harry's motives.

"Right, Fudge and his staff of Miscreants," he sighed, shaking his head for a moment before elaborating. "Part of that was me letting my emotions get the better of me; ordering the _Dementor's Kiss_ for a man that had never even officially been charged with any crime forget conviction smacks of power abuse. Yes, I know," he raised a hand to stall his audience, "I should have let Amelia Bones deal with it for Fudge made an ass out of himself in the public eye. In fact, looking back on it, I probably would have if the man in question wasn't my godfather. Hermione can attest to the fact that while I'll protect all those I can, I get rather fierce in regards to people close to me. From everything I've gathered, the death of my parents caused a psychotic episode in Sirius; unless he tells me to my face otherwise, I'm operating under the assumption that if he'd had his head on straight I'd never have any knowledge of Petunia forget living with her."

He delivered a crushing thousand yard stare at the wall off to his left, trying to restrain his emotions to avoid essentially dumping on people who didn't deserve it.

"Another chunk of why the Vote failed," he continued after a few minutes, "was the fact that other than this one '_visible_' time he's been squeaky clean as far as anybody knows. Granted, the margin of his survival was much smaller than he wanted and as such will be doing what he can to soothe ruffled feathers for the foreseeable future."

From there he finished off his recap of the day before; making notes on issues that he hadn't had the chance to address such as the Twin's, –and as much as he didn't want to but had to- Ron and Ginny continuing their education at Hogwarts. He barely knew Arthur Weasley but he had a hunch that the man despised charity of any kind. _Nothing to it but to do it_, he thought as he spawned another clone.

The three young women watched as a new Harry came into being from nowhere before promptly heading out of the room to do whatever the original wanted him to do.

"This ability to clone myself is just so useful," he actually gushed in joy, although it was difficult to say if it was because of his ability or the change in topic. "I can get so much more done in a single day . . . well, when I'm not upsetting Dobby apparently that is." He directed his attention to Penny. "Right, you said something about a conversation –one of many I assume- that I missed due to my Maturity?"

The target of his question blushed crimson as all attention was focused on her person. Ravenclaw she may be, the thought of having to educate another in sexual matters had never entered her mind thus she had no idea where to start before finally deciding on the beginning.

"Once a month during the school year Matron Pomfrey has meetings for those that have turned thirteen," Penny sounded unsure of herself at first, but the corresponding nods from Hermione and Luna boosted her confidence. "In a nutshell and without much of her medical jargon that quite frankly goes over the heads of just about everybody –yes, even the Ravenclaws for who expects a child to understand the mumbo-jumbo- she covers that as the age of fourteen, the beginning of the Magical Maturity stage, approaches witch's and wizard's cores destabilize. How and or why this happens has yet to be discovered; what is known is that as the core begins its first expansion pieces of the old 'shell' for lack of a better term can get lodged in the magic pathways which if left untreated can cause . . .," she paused, shivering at the rather gruesome image, ". . . various parts, or the whole body, to explode in a rather messy manner. There are only two known methods of flushing the pathways out: either by bleeding –hence why blood is such a powerful medium for Runic work- which is impractical due to the fact that the person would be losing blood constantly; the other is sexual release as when orgasm is achieved magic straight from the core . . .," she paused again, searching for the appropriate terminology.

"For lack of a better word, _forces_ any of the shell fragments to dissolve back into a state of energy," Hermione finished for her, face nearly consumed in flames for blushing so hard. "Wizard's cores don't '_flake_' nearly as much as a witch's so the boys can get away with getting release once a day. Us girls, however . . . our cores are shedding pieces fast enough that we have to get gratification at least twice a day while three or four is preferred."

"To be truthful, self-release is often enough," Penny took over after a few moments of silence, "since the core is destabilized and losing pieces of itself as the new shell grows underneath it until Final Maturity at seventeen. There are Family Magic rituals that have to take place at sixteen for the witches for once the core finalizes stabilization that's it, no more chances."

"I get that," Harry nodded, shifting around in his chair before standing and conjuring an overstuffed armchair rather than the wingback he'd been in and sitting back down. "My Maturity skipped that, didn't it?"

"Uh, no," Luna contributed to the conversation at last. "In fact you're in fairly high danger because instead of three years worth of steady growth –and the subsequent 'taking care of yourself'- your core ejected a figurative ton of material into your pathways including the foreign Binding Magic's. Now that you're aware of what you need to do and how good the release feels you should be right as rain . . . oh, Sixth Year I do believe."

"Right, now for the other side of the Galleon," Penny joked before becoming serious again. "Harry, you have by far the longest and widest penis in the entire school, Professors included. Pomfrey should have warned you about the dangers of such as it relates –partially, mind you- to your overall fertility. Another part is your overall power; from what I've gathered you might actually _be_ the next coming of Merlin. That wand waving I did last night was a triple-layered _Contraceptive Charm_ just in case. When you finished and couldn't quite make it out of me those two shots overrode two of the three Charms." She took note that his eyes had gotten rather large and were threatening to fall out of his head. "No worries, wrong time of the month for me anyway. But there are plenty of upper year witches that would either not think about it or would intentionally let you finish completely within them thus my comment about sprogs all over the place."

Harry gave off of groan of annoyance while rubbing the bridge of his nose. Yes, he was quite aware of the fact that plenty of the female populace of Hogwarts would give their arms for the chance to have his children.

"Holy Buckets," Hermione blushed, trying to suppress her imagination in regards to how much male essence Harry carried around if his showing last night was anything to go by. "That much sperm would guarantee pregnancy unless the witch thoroughly cleaned herself . . ."

"Yes, so unless you're trying for children underfoot do _not_ ejaculate inside a girl vaginally," Penny's face was surprisingly stern in that regard. "Just so you know, abortion is ranked up there with the Unforgiveables and giving up Magical children for adoption because you feel you're too young to be a father is almost as frowned upon. The only loophole in that regard is a Squib . . ."

"Just call them Mundane please," Harry interrupted with his own stern look. "I get it, okay. Unless the witch and I are actually trying to repopulate the world for all intents and purposes don't have sex . . ."

"No, you misunderstand," Penny spoke over him, catching him by surprise. "I said don't finish _inside a girl vaginally_. There's a world of difference to that and oral or even, if she's willing, anal."

That earned her a trio of blushes as imaginations, libidos and curiosities soared to new, unexplored heights.

"If she wants to feel your trouser cannon vaginally, set up something beforehand such as knowing her cycle or even getting her parents involved to block any attempts by the witch to gain access to the Potter fortunes," Penny finished her rather long explanation, before standing and walking over to Harry while gesturing for the other two to join her. "I'll have to hunt around for a copy of this," she muttered as the _Witches Only_ charm was once again applied to Harry.

**[SECTION EDITED TO CONFORM TO FANFICTION . NET RULES]**

Hermione and Luna, right next to the volcano that was Harry's beanstalk could feel his magic anchor them, the couch and Penny to the floor before one of the Dobbys started grumbling in the background.

"Master Harry Potter sirs makings big mess . . ."

**[SECTION EDITED TO CONFORM TO FANFICTION . NET RULES]**

_**1000, Same Day; The Burrow**_

"You stupid cow!" thundered Arthur Weasley as he paced near the stove. "Couldn't bloody well keep your hands to yourself could you! This is a right disaster and it's all your doing!"

"But Arthur-" Molly tried to defend her position without much success.

"But nothing!" he roared, scaring his in-house children.

The argument between the parents of seven had been going on for almost a solid day now. The fiery temper that was the Prewett blood held nothing on the true Weasley beast. Once one of them got started whomever their target was felt their wrath for days on end. Not a one of the said children could ever remember seeing their father this angry which when one has a pair of twin jokesters for sons is saying something.

Bill and Charlie had arrived not an hour beforehand, letters of termination in their hands from their employers as the fallout of the Wizengamot Session began. Neither were aware of a single detail as to what was going on at home; one moment they were called into their respective Boss' office the next they had their final pay and were shown the door.

They were surprised that Percy had vamoosed straight out of Hogwarts; the third youngest had yet to drop by to explain himself and it was the consensus of their younger siblings that they doubted he'd ever bother.

It was shocking to hear what, exactly, their mother –and by extension three of five siblings- had done that required their immediate sacking. Stealing from a House as old as the Potter's was just asking for trouble; trying to steal the Line was overkill to the extreme. Doing it all on the '_advice_' of Albus Dumbledore whom was also in a vat with the other lobsters was just dumb in their opinion.

The elder of the brothers, in quiet conference as the shouting match between their parents carried on, had no idea what to feel about the situation. The only thing they could rightfully be mad about with Harry, after talking to the Twins, was the overpowered Howler that damaged the house. From what Fred and George said the last Potter was actually a laid back guy that would help those that asked. Ron tried to paint a different picture but was shot down for his own set of sticky fingers, that he tried to justify as _"they did it, I just followed their example"_ which didn't sit well.

"Mum fumbled the Quaffle," Fred grunted, rather miffed with her at the moment. "Instead of treating us –and Harry for that matter- as invalids who can't possibly think for themselves she should have asked us what kind of character he has. We," he gestured at his twin –George was so angry he was silent, never a good sign-, "could've put the kibosh to the whole purse padding from the start. Couldn't do much for that rather dumb idea of a Marriage Contract, but . . ."

"This whole mess started over Harry changing his Access List," George growled, wanting something to hex. "Mum blew he top at him, he retaliated, the DMLE got involved 'cause he crashed the Wards here, now we get the shaft 'cause she wanted her precious money!" By the end, he was standing before throwing the trinket in his hands at the target of his ire.

Everything within the house went still.

"Dad, just toss her out and be done," he pointed at the front door as he spoke. "Missus Proper Pureblood here just wants cash. It's rather obvious to me that she could give two shits about family."

"I took the job at Gringott's to escape her controlling," Bill offered, seeing where the battle lines were drawn.

"Same for me in regards to Romania," Charlie refused to look at the woman, finding the wall fascinating.

Ron and Ginny could see that their mother was crushed by the actions of her five oldest. Two just confessed to leaving to get away from her, the third was probably gone for good, fourth and fifth were so aggravated with her they couldn't perform their _Twin-speak_.

"Now what?" Arthur demanded at the window he glanced out of during the silence from his sons lining up behind him. He visibly deflated at what he was looking at which earned the interest of the rest of the family as Hedwig made her presence known.

Except for Bill and Charlie the rest of the occupants of the house looked at the owl like one would a bomb that hadn't exploded after hitting the ground. Seeing that the envelope was the standard off-yellow of parchment and not the wonderful red of a Howler eased some of the tension in the kitchen. Noting that it was addressed to Arthur earned a few raised eyebrows as he untied the letter from Hedwig's right leg. He took note of there being more than one piece of parchment within the envelope signifying multiple letters.

_Arthur Weasley-_

_It has come to my attention as Head of House Black that your mother was disowned from said House for marrying your father. This unacceptable practice of marrying for Blood and not Love has been stricken from the House. Yes, that was supposed to be sarcasm._

_After careful consideration I have reinstated your mother, proving House Weasley with the Dowry it was denied. Included within that Dowry are the interest and fines such a delay in payment –rounded to the nearest decade, forty (40) years- accumulates coming to a total of ten million (10,000,000) Galleons. Payment has been arranged via Gringott's Bank as a direct transfer._

_You and your children –unless disowned/disavowed either by you or themselves once they reach Majority- are now part of House Black including, such as they are, all rights, privileges and protections therein. I would extend the House to include your wife, however with the current standing of Molly Weasley née Prewett within many social circles I cannot._

_Harry J. Potter_

_Head of the Most Ancient and Most Noble House of Black._

'_It's not charity,'_ Arthur reminded himself, having to reread the letter a few times to drive the point home. He may be obsessed with all things Muggle however he had a rather sharp mind. It didn't escape his notice that the amount was exactly the same as the fine his wife was going to have to pay, meaning as a whole House Weasley would break even. He folded that letter and returned it to its envelope before reading the second.

_Mister Weasley-_

_I do apologize if the previous letter sounded stiff and insulting. It had to be written in the "Proper Vernacular" which if you ask me is a load of tosh._

_Now then, to business. Madam Bones did not consult me in regards to whatever punishments the DMLE and by extension the Ministry had in mind. Then again, as I get caught up on the things I should've been taught from at least age eleven, I'm finding that the laws in regards to the older Houses are rubbish in fairness._

_It's a good thing that this boon of a late Dowry was just laying around, waiting for the right excuse to use it. Well, there you go for I –after various conversations with your children over my time at Hogwarts- know that 'charity' is not a word in your dictionary._

_Now, I know you've been stiffed for many a year as the Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. Between you and . . . ah, yes Perkins, the two of you have done the work of twenty and not even gotten the proper by your leave forget a thank you or pay. Basically switching roles with him is not going to help in the least, so I have a proposition for you._

_Fred and George have been like awesome elder brothers to me, always finding a way to make me laugh –even at myself when I do something stupid. What I propose is to pay BASIC TUITION for them, meaning that anything extra beyond getting in the gate at Hogwarts is up to you._

_I would leave Ron and Ginny out of this, however as your youngest son has been vocal in one way or another about your finances since the day I met him I cannot. I will gladly, in recognition of our previous –even if finished- friendship extend the same offer to your two youngest._

_Don't mistake this as 'charity'. I would, after finding out about their sticky fingers, leave them to their fates. Being blacklisted before even having the chance is not fair to them, even if they knew they were doing wrong. Between Ron's moaning about not having anything new ever and Ginny deciding it'd be a great idea to use a diary that responded . . ._

_Sorry, a bit of a tangent there._

_I ask for nothing in return; I no longer give two whit's about either of your youngest. I know the Twins will put what I'm offering to good use (their pranks may take a lot of time to plan however you should see some of the magic those two pull off!)._

_As for Bill and Charlie; by now their employers will have probably shown them the door for something out of their control. As I have the privilege of talking to Ragnok I can, perhaps, persuade him to revoke the termination of both. Turns out that the Goblins own the Romania Dragon Preserve as "no wizard would lower themselves to actually saving the dragons". This I leave up to them as they are grown men and maybe they want a change in careers._

_Right, lots to do; people to yell at; girls to ogle._

_H. Potter_

Arthur couldn't help but laugh at the rambling letter, written as only a teenager could. He wanted to feel insulted at the fact that somebody else was paying for his children's education however he couldn't. If nothing else the fact that Harry was Head of a house they were deeply related to put the issue to bed. On top of that it was basic tuition; that meant the book list –and any other expense that may crop up- was not covered.

"Well . . .," he trailed off before simply handing the informal letter over to his two eldest. Fred and George took up posts behind them, reading over Bill's right and Charlie's left shoulder.

"See now-"

"that's the-"

"kinda guy-"

"he is," the Twins reverted to their normal speech pattern after sharing a look. Their secret wasn't so secret anymore as most of their pranks were intensive with the magic involved. They were more than aware that was the reason why they hadn't been tossed out of Hogwarts on their ears.

Well, that and McGonagall _did_ have a sense of humor; even if she kept it hidden.

Molly had snuck a glance at the first letter and let out a sigh of relief. Not so much for the fact that with the money that was owed from House Black to House Weasley but for being able to pay off her horrendous fine and not have to work a corner in Knockturn Alley. She knew Arthur was far too nice –much like Harry, as much as it burned her to admit it- to simply toss her out without any support as her birth House was for all intents and purposes no more.

_Maybe now the random mayhem will stop_, she thought as she drifted over to the stove on which a pot of stew was simmering. Nature decided that her optimistic thoughts were too soon; for after checking on dinner –nothing beats slow cooked stew- she turned to face Arthur and let one rip into open flame.

Magic, to function properly as a chef, has to be contained within an area at all times. This prevented bleed-off from items like spoons and pots that weren't Rune-enchanted to work unsupervised. The problem with such containment, however, was that any new variable introduced would be trapped within as the self-sustaining magic took over and made the new effect as close to permanent as it could.

The five gallon pot lifted off like a rocket, punching through the corresponding floors before finally installing a new skylight for the ghoul in the roof. The occupants of the house watched as the now-flaming stew reached an impressive height, nearly two hundred feet, for being methane powered before the containment field failed from being too far from its source. Just like the Mundane equivalent of a catastrophic failure in the booster the pot detonated, raining beef stew on the house that was once a pig-pen.

"Oh damn it!" Arthur engaged in battle with the shrapnel of the pot, picking off the pieces as they returned to the ground at the speed of sound.

Ron, devastated at the loss of such good food, went to sulk in his room. To get from the kitchen to the stairs though he had to pass through the living room and the Floo contained within. As it was summer unless said travel device was needed the flames were in their Eternal Ember state, existing just enough for the powder to work. Much like the magic's in the kitchen, there were containment charms in said room for the Floo Network was known to do odd things from time to time, especially if somebody tossed their cookies in there.

Changing rooms turned out to be a good thing as he let loose a "_Five Minute Fart_"; one of those bouts of gas that once started seem to go on forever and can majorly stink up a room. He had even stopped walking for every thud of his feet on the floor forced more out while changing the pitch creating the oddest sounds he ever heard.

The bad thing in all of this was when Ginny opened the kitchen door that he'd shut behind him changing the air mixture into something from _Backdraft_.

Bill, Charlie and the Twins were treated to a _FWUMP_ and a flash of flame before the youngest child ran out the back door with her hair on fire. Where she was going was apparent as she reached the rain barrel and promptly stuck her head in, creating a steam cloud that was blown away by the gentle breeze. Before anybody could act Ron came wandering back into the kitchen, looking like he'd been left in an oven for far too long.

His normally alabaster skin looked like a burnt roast. There wasn't a hair left on his face as the flash-fire had vaporized it all. Apparently he'd been in shock as the pain hit, sending him face first into the floor. The impact of his keeling over on his stomach forced out another power-fart, right in Molly's face as she'd hustled over to tend to her injured son.

"What have you been feeding him?" Bill spoke through his Bubble-head Charm while applying it to the Twins. It was a bad sign indeed when green vapors signaled the location of the death zone.

Ginny came back inside, right as the gas cloud was making its way out the door. Charlie tried to save her the horrors of her brother's bad digestive tract but was too late. Her head, doing its impression of the setting sun –her blush of embarrassment from being bald as a cue-ball just as apparent as her burns- turned sickly green. Which, when combined with the red it already was, turned her skin into an interesting shade of brown.

"Doesn't this chaos ever end?" Arthur groaned to the room at large before trying to clean up the mess.

_**1100, Saturday, August 20, 1994; Potter Battlements**_

"What's this then?" Penny asked as she toured the ball room. There were two oval shaped tables present that hadn't been there yesterday.

"You may not be completely caught up on the situation," Harry mused as he set nine chairs around the left table and eight around the right. "I tried a formal get-together with the families that are in one way or another Allied to mine. Needless to say, it was a complete flop; this time I'm trying something informal. Notice that the surfaces of these tables are recessed under the edges? These are poker tables, and I've passed an invite to the daughters of those families."

"Ooh, poker!" Luna gushed, before looking confused. "Which variation of the game are we talking here?"

"Texas Hold'em," he answered as he set out cheat-sheets for those not in the know of the game. Granted, it was a given that a bunch of teenagers that hadn't spent a lot of time in the Mundane world wouldn't know the nuances of the game.

"Really?" Hermione was skeptical at the least. "And this is a good idea why?"

"Simple bonding time," he replied, "especially for the five in Slytherin. It's going to take some work on all our parts to get over the House Prejudice."

"Why Hold'em, though?" Penny had heard of the game in passing as popularity was on the rise.

"It's more skill than chance," was the prompt response as he set out three thousand worth of various chips per chair. "Draw and stud is all chance. With Hold'em you have to know how to read the other players, quickly calculate odds, find outs and know when to call, raise or fold respectively. Ah, here they come!"

The other occupants of the room were surprised by the statement before remembering that Harry could be in multiple places at the same time without screwing with time. That by itself was a novel experience for Hermione, who had spent the previous year operating close to thirty-hour days when all was said and done.

Into the ballroom trooped fourteen young women. Each had eyes popping as they took in their surroundings, some for the first time. The rest were caught unawares by the clones running about, taking care of menial tasks.

"Right, no prior seating arrangements here ladies!" the original Harry called over the din of voices, causing all other conversations to stop. "As you can see, nine of you sit over here," he gestured to the left hand table, "while the other eight sit here. I'm glad you all could make it, even if it was on short notice." He noticed that they all were dressed conservatively in variations of the Hogwarts robes, which was off-putting.

Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell, Hermione, Luna, Penelope and Su Li took the left hand table; each greeting the three that had already been present.

The right hand table was an island of silence. Blaise Zabini, the Greengrass sisters Daphne and Astoria, Padma and Parvati Patil, Tracey Davis, Pansy Parkinson and Nymphadora (HEY!) Tonks were acting like they had no idea how to handle being around each other. That was without a female Gryffindor at the table.

"Attention please!" Harry's chipper voice sounded across the room from between the tables, causing all eyes to fall on his person. "Right then, to the heart of the matter. As a method of getting all of us into a room unsupervised by various adults that have probably forgotten what it's like to be young I had this stroke of brilliance. Some of you are no doubt still confused as to why you're here when there were other . . . commitments that you were aware of. Well, business later to tell you the truth. First and foremost this is about as informal as it gets around here. While we will have private conversations at some point, right now is to get to know your future . . . ah, siblings. Yes, that works.

"Name of the game is Texas Hold'em, I'll be your dealer for this little venture into the realm of gambling," he transfigured his polo shirt and khaki slacks into a suit. "I know not many of you are familiar with how the game works so each of you is provided a nifty helpers guide." He cloned himself again, this one dressed the same as the original.

Clone-Harry moved over to the table of nine, continuing the monologue.

"First order of business. Each of you has three thousand in chips. White is worth one, blue five, red ten, tan a hundred, black a thousand." He started shuffling a fresh-out-of-the-box deck before slipping nine cards around while original-Harry did the same for the eight at his table. "A basic rundown of the rules: to determine who gets the Dealer Button on the opening Deal each of you have been given a card, High Card wins. Once the order is established it'll be a reshuffle then the Deal. Each of you will get two Hole Cards also known as Pocket Cards. These are to be known by you alone."

"We'll cover betting in a bit," original-Harry spoke up before moving on. "You'll see me take the top card off of the deck after the first round of betting. This is the Burn Card. Once I've done that I'll set three cards face up in the center of the table for the Flop. Before the Turn is another round of betting, same with the River. These two are single card placements, both face up. After the River is one last round of betting or if necessary a chance to fold if you've got nothing. Best hand wins, determined by five of seven cards. Your sheets, all the same mind you to prevent cheating/accusations of favoritism, have the order of winning hands from a Pair to a Royal Flush."

"No using magic to stack the deck," the clone wagged his right index finger at his players, even as the original did the same. "In the event of two or more players having the same hand the winner will be determined by either High Card in the Hole or the pot will be split amongst them. Right, now for betting. At the Deal, whomever is to the left of the Dealer Button has the Small Blind. On _their_ left is the Big Blind. The person to the left of the Big Blind has the opening bet. You can either bet or check, which is passing your turn onto the next person. If there's a bet/raise that's higher than yours you either call, raise or fold. After the Flop it's the first person remaining to the left of the Button. Blinds start at twenty/ten respectively before becoming larger every ten hands. Bets themselves start at the size of the Big Blind and increase by the size of the Small. Twenty/ten, thirty/fifteen, fifty/twenty-five, hundred/fifty so on and so forth. Betting is No Limit, meaning you can go All In at any point if you think your hand is the best."

"This get-together is a chance for all of us to be in the same room and let our hair down so to speak," the original carried on. It was strange to see two Harry's having the same conversation to two different groups of people seamlessly. "If you need a break let me know. Right, show me what you have."

Susan had the Ace of Hearts at the clone's table while Tonks had the Ace of Diamonds at the originals. Once the cards were collected both Harry's reshuffled before dealing out the Hole Cards.

"This is something completely different," Hannah ventured into the silence as she hid her cards under her left hand while barely lifting the upper edges with her right. _Bah! Two of Hearts-King of Clubs? Crap, fold!_

"What a way to spend your Saturday, eh?" Padma joked, hiding a grimace at her hand. _Three of Diamonds-Queen of Hearts? Garbage!_

"He does have a point though," Parvati mumbled, not quite knowing if what she had was decent. _Nine-Jack of Spades? Hmmm . . ._

Angelina grunted in agreement, waiting her turn to fold as being dealt Two of Diamonds and Ten of Hearts was just horrible in her opinion.

So it went, even with a break at noon that the eventual family got to know each other over a game of poker. Tonks was oddly silent on the matter, not offering any explanation as to why she was present, though she did check out Harry more often than her cards.

Many questioned the reasons as to why Pansy was there but figured answers could wait until she was ready to give them. Instead of the Malfoy-hanger on most of them were used to she was quiet, eyeing her host from under her bangs when she thought he wasn't looking.

The game came to an end with Parvati and Blaise owning their tables right at three. The easy rapport that had built up carried over to the patio where Harry had Dobby provide tea and biscuits before settling into his conjured overstuffed armchair. The display of magic earned more than a few raised eyebrows that he promptly ignored.

"As a general overview before we get to the private conversations," he said after taking a drink, "all of you for all intents and purposes are betrothed to either myself directly, House Potter in exchange for Alliance protections or fall under Line Continuation clauses of said Alliances. A fair few of you," his gaze drifted from Hermione to Penny to Angelina then Katie, "being born in the Real World –as I call it- are here for different reasons."

He paused, taking another drink before sighing. "I shake my head at some of the rather strange traditions I find myself mired in with no warning. Relations between Magicals as a whole would be so much better if those of us from the Mundane side were properly educated in how Society works. No, none of that rubbish Malfoy likes to spew; I mean true education. What are the traditions; how do they affect trends; why are they so important to keep? Those of you born to a Line would know the answer having been immersed in said traditions since birth."

"Luna was gracious enough," he continued after a moment, "to explain to me why Line Continuation exists. It's a simple matter of keeping a family name alive. I find myself with several families that have had no members in centuries and am now obligated to repopulate them. It's too much of a burden to thrust onto a single woman for she'd have to have at _minimum_ a dozen children. Two for each name or the old '_Heir and a Spare_' concept that has strangely fallen out of use."

His guests shifted around, trying to picture having that many kids underfoot. The only one that they could think of that came close was Molly Weasley and it was well known that she'd only stopped after getting the daughter she'd wanted/needed for her now defunct House.

"To add to all of that," Harry continued after getting a refill of tea, "is the requests from other families to assist with their own Line Continuation and/or be the Opener for the witch's respective Family Magic to take hold. I know that the two oldest amongst you have missed their chance as Society wouldn't hear of a First Generation or an Exile going through the rites."

Penny and Tonks began to fidget as attention was brought upon them for losing out on something that was taken for granted by the Purebloods.

"I find that to be pure _bollocks_!" he suddenly thundered, earning more than a few small leaps of fright. "Everybody should have the chance; denying somebody because of their parentage or internal family dispute is just wrong on so many levels. That brings me to the other First Generations here. Hermione already knows this, so she can answer your questions better than I can."

He stopped long enough to take a savage bite out of his fresh biscuit before continuing. "There are, rather obscure, books in circulation that go into detail about the Ritual for the Birth of Family Magic. Angelina and Alicia are nearing the end of the window to go through the ritual which would be their sixteenth birthday. Katie has just under a year to do so if she so chooses. From what I've been able to gather from my library here the rites have to be done within a window of an hour either way from the time of your birth or you can forget about it. Once that window closes the core begins its solidification process which signals full Maturity. It is dangerous in the extreme to attempt to force the core to make any more changes once the process has begun."

"I also came upon a dilemma of sorts," Harry shifted around a bit in his chair. "It ties into my need to repopulate several Houses. While it's possible –highly improbable and dangerous to try- for a single witch to . . . eh, _assist_ me in that endeavor, it creates confusion and conflicts within the Heirs and a near infinite loop in which my sons would go through the same thing I am. I have to separate the Houses now, rather than foist the responsibility off on my children. To do this, however, I have to find witches that will either willingly give up their own Family Name or not have one as recognized by the Wizengamot. As an example, Hermione here," he gestured to the brunette on his left, "agreed earlier this month to, somewhere done the road as we do the research, become Lady Potter. Just this morning Penelope agreed to taking the Peverell name. I still have six more Houses to go on that front. The rest of you are here under one of two circumstances as mentioned; Line Continuation or Family Magic rites. Now we get into private conversation territory. Don't freak out at what I'm about to do, okay?"

Seeing the nods he created fourteen more clones, one for each except Hermione, Luna and Penny. As each were led to individual rooms he released a sigh of relief.

"Well, that went better than I expected."

TBC

Poker night at the Potter's! That was a random event that popped into my mind for no good reason. Right then, here's a good place to stop for now. Not quite a cliffhanger and if needed something that can be fit in anywhere for convenience's sake.

A large shout out/thank you to my readers and reviewers!

_**Edit Note**_: Somehow, someway people are going to be mad at me for saving this fic. Right, well don't yell at me; talk to the Admins around here that do whatever they want without giving us a chance to correct our work.


	7. Magical Maturity 6

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

_**Special Notes**_: Some will find this chapter to be rather bland, as it involves far more conversation than anything else. Just thought I'd forewarn everybody. I also corrected the errors in Parts One and Five. Something quasi-related: the launch of my forum on ffnet. Questions, comments, or even general conversation with yours truly! Link is in my profile.

Magical Maturity, Arc One Part Six

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_**1530 Saturday, August 20, 1994; Potter Battlements**_

"Please, have a seat," the Harry-clone that had escorted Pansy gestured to a wingback in study number five on the south side of the Battlements. While he knew just why she had been invited he decided to fish to information to see just what she knew.

"Fabulous," the Slytherin groused, eyes darting everywhere taking in her surroundings. The portrait above and behind the desk was occupied by a pair of figures she recognized from her Pure-Blood customs lessons: Charlus and Dorea Potter. She knew, then and there that she was under intense scrutiny.

"Right," Harry had conjured his favorite armchair again before settling in. "I'll be blunt here. You and I have never seen eye-to-eye in the short amount of time that we've known each other. If the House Rivalry at Hogwarts wasn't enough, you . . . eh, _associate_ with Malfoy on a regular basis and we know what happens between me and him."

"So imagine my surprise," he leaned forward, elbows landing on the desk as his clasped hands hid his mouth. "When I see the name Parkinson on my list of Houses that I am Head of. Do you know how that came to be, Pansy?"

It was a strange sensation to be having a civil conversation with the young man she'd antagonized over her first two years at Hogwarts. She shivered a bit under his _Pose of Death_, feeling those emerald eyes of his boring into her own cobalt blues.

"My _father_," she stressed after a sigh, "was one of many unmarked supporters of the Dark Lord. My grandfather, on the other hand, had seen through _Him_ before he shifted from the political arena to outright killing. It was one thing, according to grandfather, to uphold traditions and try to maintain social order when the Muggle side was in a rapid flux. It was something else entirely to force those that were neither inclined to politics or didn't really care what was happening so long that it didn't affect them to either follow his lead or die. There was no such thing as neutrality, even in _his_ Rise. _He_ did give some of the populace options though; join, support from the background monetarily but stay out of the way or die. The Greengrass family, for example, paid a yearly stipend to the Dark Lord's coffers to avoid being forced into service even though they were of the '_Didn't Care_' faction."

She shifted around in her chair, "Well, that's not entirely true. They did _care_, but weren't influential enough to make a difference in either direction. Since my _father_ willingly entered the ranks, even though he was never marked to avoid scrutiny, it was good enough for _Him_. That was in nineteen seventy-three. By seventy-five my grandfather, being far more shrewd in the political arena than my _father_, knew that unless the Dark Lord was stopped everything -traditions, our very way of life- would be lost as _He_ started killing every and anybody. His own followers, innocents that would rather just get out of the way, his enemies . . . everybody; entire families to the last man, woman and child, most of the time for no reason whatsoever." She shivered again as her imagination provided the imagery from her grandfather's descriptions.

"They had a massive falling out, my father and his," her voice had gone soft. "Grandfather outright ordered my father to leave the ranks of the Dark Lord in seventy-nine. He refused, proclaiming that his father was losing his nerve with victory at hand. Words turned to spells, crippling both; grandfather lost the ability to walk and father lost the lower half of his left leg. Once I was born in May of nineteen eighty grandfather disowned father, not that it mattered as three months before I was born he was caught in the act of Muggle-Hunting by James Potter." She noticed that Harry's eyebrows tried to vanish under his fringe, even if the rest of his body was in perfect stillness. "Your father captured mine in the resulting duel, which I don't hold against you or your family. Not when my father was trying to get his jollies with a nine year old boy."

The growl from the other side of the desk made her pause and wonder just what was going through his mind.

"My grandfather approached yours," Pansy gestured to the portrait behind Harry, "in March of nineteen eighty-one. House Parkinson felt that a debt was owed to House Potter for handling a matter that we should have dealt with ourselves. It was decided that my House would be a Protectorate of yours, including a proviso that I would keep my family name."

"Then why," he wondered with a level voice, not having moved his hands, "is your father sitting your House seat in the Wizengamot?"

"That would be times' and tradition's doing," she had the grace to look sheepish. "Even though my father had been disenfranchised he was still the only son of his father. Grandfather -a fifth generation only child- died in eighty-five and by House rules as the only possible heir by both blood and name his son was reinstated. He couldn't change the Protectorate contract though as your grandfather and father were dead and you were far too young to do so. The way the contract was written no proxy of either House could terminate it."

_That partially explains why Dumbledore couldn't fiddle with the existing contracts,_ Harry thought before continuing the impromptu interview.

"Well, since I am now Head of House Potter the first thing I ask is: do _you_ want the contract nullified?" he sat back in his chair, relaxing his pose. Pansy noticed that it appeared to be a cue to the portrait as the pair walked out of the frame to go elsewhere.

"When your invite arrived," she answered slowly, trying to formulate the proper response without sounding insulting, "father was most insistent that if I could I would indeed get the contract voided. One thing that the two of you share in common is that neither have read it. The penalty clauses for breaking the contract from the House Parkinson end are catastrophic as we'd lose everything. I mean _everything_; money, properties, magic, our very lives. Grandfather, according to his journal, had trusted his gut instinct and knew he wouldn't survive to your Majority so he set up the contract that way."

She paused, gazing out the window for a few moments before continuing. "Since the current Acting Lord of the House desires the contract broken, even if you offered to do so magic itself would see it as us breaking it. So to answer your question, no. Do not, under any circumstances, nullify the contract to my House."

"Straight forward enough," Harry allowed, nodding to show his agreement. "Since you've read the contract -yes, I freely admit to only having the details and not the exact wording- is fulfilling it going to cause you undo strife?"

"Absolutely," she slumped into her seat, looking defeated. "Father wants to set up a contract to House Malfoy, even though the current Head is not of age. He spent the better part of a decade talking up Lucius to the point Draco, never far away unless business demanded it, is aware of my House's desires. I have to, as you so succinctly put it, _associate_ with him while at Hogwarts. If I don't; if I act like I truly want to he would inform my father of my resistance to the issue and even in the role of Acting Head my father can try to disown me."

"He wouldn't see the end of his House?" he rose his right eyebrow, leaving off the _'would he'_.

"He would in a heartbeat," her expression had gone flat, giving her a half-lidded look, "if it meant going against the wishes of the Dark Lord. One of the many things that _He_ instilled in his followers was a near-pathological need to keep bloodlines as pure as possible, including ideologically. Better for a House to die off completely than to be seen as breeding lower than one deserves. When I turned ten, father informed me that I should consider myself betrothed to Draco. Lucius seemed overly delighted at the prospect as he and my father had made promises to each other."

"Ah, a delayed reward for service I take it?"

"Definitely," she sighed. Her body language told him far more than the one word answer. She didn't want to be a toady's reward for being a murderer, rapist, thief and torturer.

"While I can't do anything about your father," Harry started after a lengthy pause, "at this time, I can enforce the Protectorate contract now. When he comes to complain, no doubt armed with death on his mind, he won't like the consequences. I'll only do so if you wish it."

"It doesn't matter," she shrugged, "when you activate the contract. As soon as it goes active my father will more than likely disown me which would push him and mother out of the picture. I say that because the second I am no longer his daughter they are no longer related by any means to House Parkinson -from the original disenfranchisement of my father- and thus while I keep the name their wants are irrelevant. The contact was written with me, and only me after the behavior of my parents, in mind."

"Right," he got the message of _'no love lost'_ before changing topics. He decided to avoid her mother as Pansy wasn't willing to mention was the issue there was. "This situation is beyond strange and bizarre. No, I'm not referring to the fact that you and your fellow Slytherins have to deal with the Gryffindor devil as it were. Every witch currently within the Battlements has one form or another in the way of commitment to my House; except for the First Generations. Many of the blokes at school would give their legs to be in my situation; I see it as a bloody nightmare."

He huffed, shaking his head, "I have to make allowances for each individual leading their own life. However because of the Continuation clauses there's not a chance in hell I can simply do the deed and let her walk out of my life. Growing up as I did . . .," he trailed off, not yet willing to share that part of his life with a once-enemy. "Family is what is important to me. So, tell me; what are your desires for the future?"

That question caught her flat-footed. Not many teenagers would even begin to think about what they wanted to do in life. Especially when said teens had just entered the age bracket. Yet here he was, trying to establish some form of rapport with her.

"Something that has priority," Pansy answered, lightly blushing at the admission, "is the restoration of my House. Not so much population wise as integrity. Like Grandfather said in his journal, traditions are important but not so much as to force them on others. Above and beyond that, simply being a mother making her way in the world would bring me the greatest feeling."

_Huh_, Harry thought, _who knew that Pansy 'Proper Pure-Blood' Parkinson's greatest desire is to be a mother?_

As a silence fell between the two, he took a good look at her. While he had in the past compared her face to that of a pug he reevaluated the statement. Unlike the breed of dog there wasn't a wrinkle or line to be found. Her skin, a nice tanned alabaster to his surprise, appeared smooth and flawless. Her hair trailed down to her mid-back and was a shade off of the raven's nest on his own head. He found her eye color enrapturing, the deep shade of blue that was cobalt. What had led to the original observation, he discovered, was that she had a very petite nose for her facial build.

The robes -sky blue trimmed in cloud white- she was wearing were similar to the Hogwarts set as they hid her still-growing figure. As a male that was one tradition he could do without after discovering the joys of female flesh.

Pansy noticed that he was checking her out and returned the favor. He'd always had this "boyish-handsome" charm about him but up close it was obvious his heart was on his sleeve. When he glanced downwards and slightly frowned she felt insulted before taking into account her attire. His eyes, that lovely shade of emerald that screamed restrained power were one of his better features. The only thing unattractive to her was that scar; it would be much better in her opinion if he'd earned it another way that didn't involve a Killing Curse being bounced off of his head after his parents were murdered.

His choice of clothes for the day earned a mentally raised eyebrow. Black khaki slacks and a black polo shirt were far from traditional day-to-day wear in the Wizarding World. What really got her attention with them was that while comfortably loose they were still snug on his frame.

"There is one thing you should be made aware of," Harry broke the mutual looks before fidgeting in his chair. "Penelope . . . _advised me_ . . . that, uh, my . . .," he couldn't continue, trailing off as his face imitated a tomato. Some things in life were just this side of impossible to speak about in casual conversation. "Right, nothing to it. Don't panic or think I'm being fresh; I just want you to be aware of what you're getting into here."

He moved to her right -the left end of his desk- before stopping to fidget some more. He found his courage somewhere as he unbuttoned, unzipped and dropped his trousers in one motion.

The first thing Pansy wanted to do was scream in outrage; here was Harry _'Supposed to be a Nice Guy'_ Potter taking advantage of a contract set up between their respective grandfathers. When he didn't make a further move in her direction her curiosity as to what his point was took the reins, directing her eyes to look down a bit.

It was when she caught sight of the head of what made him a man -the Original had forgone the harness again as he had no intention of going out- poking out the right leg of his drawers that went down to mid-thigh that her outrage vanished. It was replaced by not a little trepidation for the sheer length alone but, as it began to harden under her gaze, the girth was something she'd never imagined before. A part of her mind, disconnected from her consciousness, placed a chastity belt on her libido to every other male _except_ Harry. That part of her decided then and there that there would be no other she would have in that way.

Then he dropped his shorts accompanied by a sigh of relief. At first it struck her as odd but then she reasoned that he was overly-confined and needed to be free.

Original-Harry chose that moment to walk into the room, seeing as Pansy was one of the more difficult conversations he was to have that day. In his opinion the place was entirely too quiet; there weren't any shouts of anger nor did he get any memories of being slapped from dispelled clones. This was the third time he'd walked in on a clone using an appendage that wasn't attached to arms or legs to point at the young woman in the room.

"Bloody randy clones," he grumbled before doing an about-face and marching back out the door. The concept of sticking around and watching his clones was still not something he looked forward to. Neither occupant noticed his intrusion as both were rather entranced with each other.

Well, one was waiting for the shouts -containing insults to being too large no doubt- to begin and the other was off in fantasy land but still . . .

In a different part of the Battlements, clone three was giving his guest a deadpan look, not quite understanding why this person in particular had shown up. The family represented had in the past two hundred years immigrated to England at the end of the Vassal Era; in truth the House was one of the reasons that particular Pact had gone out of favor. It just made it too easy for "outsiders" to enter Magical Britain.

"I was under the impression that you were a bloke," Harry-clone was emotionless, not knowing what he'd done to deserve this treatment.

"Bah," the highly feminine voice of Blaise Zabini retorted, "you and everybody else at Hogwarts thinks that, yes. Mother knows that she's made too many enemies in high places; being known as the _Widow Maker_ does that to a person."

'_Christiana 'Widow Maker' Zabini . . . oh joy,_' he thought, now knowing where he'd heard the moniker before. While she was a third -Blaise being a fourth- generation Brit their Italian heritage had always shown through. The woman had gone through as many husbands as the Weasley's had children -seven, each as loaded financially as the last and each dying under mysterious circumstances leaving their distraught -and just married- widow everything.

Naturally, it took seven times for the Elitists to catch on to her scheme. Anybody with half a brain would have seen what was going on after the third or fourth time some childless, insanely wealthy last-of-his-line died. Once they had sat up and took notice did life get difficult for the remaining Zabini's. Blaise, unplanned for child of husband number two, had the prejudice of being groomed to be like her mother while Christiana simply faded into the woodwork.

Well, she would have if House Potter didn't have a major stake in House Zabini even being in the Isles to begin with. The Elitists were none too happy to have lost so much gold to a _'foreign'_ witch and were looking for a target of opportunity to have their revenge. Since Harry had been hidden from the world at the time -the last husband had died in ninety- Blaise was the target.

She'd learned real quick to not only look after herself but insure she stayed in the shadows.

"All right; explain to me please, just how we've all been fooled," Harry requested after finishing his mental review.

"First and foremost," Blaise's voice had an edge to it, revealing her irritation, "there are a few things to understand. One is that I'm not like my mother; in truth the only reason I still have the name Zabini is that I'm her Heir. She's stated on more than one occasion that I'm an accident; she'd never wanted children to begin with thus why I'm an only child after seven marriages. Secondly, it was her idea to hide my gender after husband number six -a Selwyn, if I remember correctly- tried to wed me off as revenge for the LeStrange family; the elder brother to the twins Rodolphus and Rabastian having lost most of the family fortune to my mother. Third, and just as important, is that I am aware of my family's history and debt owed to House Potter for getting us into Britain. While my mother ignores the Vassal Pact -I know she's violated it before; even tried to arrange a marriage with us underage so that she'd have control of your vast fortune- I know I cannot for I'm the last of my House."

The revealed-to-be-a female shook her head in annoyance before continuing, although her tone had soften a bit. "I'm not as dumb as some of the Elites. I know I can revitalize my House and restore the reputation that had attracted your House in the first place. If I had gone to Hogwarts as I truly am Adrian, Vincent, Greg and Theodore would have been at the forefront of an attack on my person the first night there. Draco would have just smirked at that while the other witches would be _'properly distracted'_ so as not to come to my aid. To prevent this I make use of an old Italian espionage spell; it's a combined Glamour, Notice-Me-Not targeted to my body -and its functions- with a Gender Transfiguration on top as a 'just in case'."

Harry's confusion showed by his facial expression; that spell made much of no sense as a Gender Transfiguration . . . realization dawned on him at that point. Just because she had extra attachments under that spell didn't mean Hogwarts would be fooled. Just to sleep she'd have to be in the Girl's Dormitory, which would be extremely odd to see a male wander into every night -assuming that the Slytherin Dorms shared the same rules as Gryffindor.

"I believe you," he leaned back in his chair. "The intrigue that goes on in the Dungeons is just too much. Right, since you freely admit your mother violated the Vassal Pact you should be aware that the punishment clause has more than likely kicked in. She'll be getting an owl in about five minutes from Gringott's informing her that the entire Zabini Vault has been confiscated alongside any under her name as fines. What saves your House and Name is that you came to me; as of now Christiana Zabini is excluded from the House Potter, House Zabini Pact for breach of contract. You'll get your wish Blaise; I'll help you restart your House and bring the reputation it had back."

His voice hardened as his eyes narrowed, "Should House Zabini _ever_ violate the Pact again House Potter will seek Line Extermination under Clause Eight. Do you understand?"

'_Ouch!_' Blaise thought, for that was extreme. She knew better than to argue the point as it was justifiable; still Line Extermination was death to every person related by blood to the fourth separation. Being that there were Crabbe's, Goyle's, Nott's, Yaxley's, Bulstrode's and a few others she couldn't think of off of the top of her head in her family tree . . . that would be a lot of dead people.

The silence stretched on, letting the Harry-clone get a good look at her. She had her hair in a short bob cut, quite possibly so that when transfigured into a boy she'd not miss it. Her eyes were hazel which offset her coffee colored skin. The robes, which he ground he teeth at, were burgundy lightly trimmed in white. That was a strange combination to his mind but didn't dwell on it.

"Yes," she answered at last, after allowing her eyes to roam, "I understand completely."

When the parade of Harrys broke apart, leading a witch into a different room each Daphne Greengrass found herself sequestered in a trophy room. She took note that they had been for varying things between eighteen ten and nineteen seventy, including skeet shoots, pheasant hunts and various other Mundane things that she had no clue about. The mounted head of a boar was unattractive to the extreme in her opinion.

Just where that head of a Rocky Mountain Elk -a nice ten point buck- came from she didn't want to know.

"Right, sorry about that," the clone had disappeared for a few moments. After striding into the room he was followed in by a levitated tea table and a wingback chair for her. Once he set those where he wanted them his conjured a plush black leather office chair on wheels which worked well with the hardwood floor.

"Hmmm," she offered no opinion to anything right then. Daphne was not as aware as some of the other witches invited to this little get together as to why they were having private one-on-one interviews.

"To business then," Harry-clone started, not wanting to mince words. "Yes, a question and answer session first. Tell me, are you aware of any contracts between House Potter and House Greengrass?"

When he asked the question he decided to take in her appearance. She was trying something different with her hairstyle as it was in a page-boy cut, her blond locks framing her porcelain skinned face. Her eyes were a strange shade of ice-gray, which when combined with her glare earned her moniker _'Ice Princess'_. Her robes -Merlin he was beginning to hate them- were royal blue trimmed in turquoise.

Taking her time in answering, she thought about the proper response. While the running of the House -thus, all contracts- was handled by her father she was privy to a few details. She mentally frowned, knowing that Lucius Malfoy had been sniffing around before he disappeared earlier in the month. From what she had overheard he was looking at setting up either a Betrothal or a Line Continuation contract. He'd been pushing rather hard for both herself and Astoria for some reason; the whole situation made no sense because it was common knowledge that House Parkinson was also being courted.

House Potter having a contract of any type quite literally fell out of the sky. With her reply not forthcoming Harry continued on.

"Right, I'll assume," he leaned back in his chair which partially reclined with him, "that this is completely out of the blue. When I was run through my Heritage Ritual by the goblins you'd understand my surprise seeing House Greengrass as a Vassal. Oh yes," he took note of her eyebrows raising in disbelief, "somewhere along the line your House pledged itself to mine. Of course, the Vassal clause has long since gone out of favor so I'd say it was sometime in the early seventeenth century."

With the exception of her eyebrow's rebellion Daphne kept her '_Ice Princess_' mask on.

"Behold, I've come to find that House Greengrass violated that contract," he dropped the bomb on her as, a flight down and five rooms away the clone talking to Pansy created/dispelled another of their brethren in the span of half a second; alerting the lot -and Original-Harry- of this information. "More than once it appears," he amended his statement with a frown.

For the first time since being sorted into Slytherin she felt extreme amounts of nervousness. She'd heard -later, seen- about what goes on in the dungeons of Hogwarts and wanted no part of it. _Well, he's still talking_, she thought, _so all is not lost yet_.

"In nineteen oh-nine your Great-grandfather affirmed the oaths between our houses. In nineteen fifty-three your grandfather, an undercover agent for Voldemort -who had not gone active yet, instead operating here in the Isles under the guise of leftovers from Grindelwald- attacked and killed my great-grandfather. This is the original violation of the Vassal Pact; the penalties for which were agreed upon between our Houses under parlay to prevent a feud later that year."

She frowned for her father had never told her any of this before. While her parents were of the _'Don't bother us'_ persuasion she was aware of their backroom support of the Dark Lord. As much as her great-grandfather pushed neutrality he was conveniently ignored in favor of listening to some upstart go on about enforcing traditions on the populace and controlling the Muggles/Muggle-Borns. Even when _He_ went berserk in seventy-six and started slaughtering everything that breathed her parents continued to espouse that propaganda of _His_.

Daphne now had other pieces to other puzzles. She'd often wondered why her father never talked about his; her great-grandfather told her he'd been disowned and sentenced to a severe punishment for breach of contract. When he died in eighty-eight she'd been left with his journals and a letter; everything disappearing under strange circumstances into her father's office then vanishing without a trace.

"Our Houses agreed," Harry continued after allowing her to digest the information, "that your grandfather would be executed after disenfranchisement and that when House Greengrass sired daughters the first two would go to House Potter. The eldest would retain the family name while the younger would not. Years later, my grandfather expressed concern to your great-grandfather about his grandson; what would happen if he either followed in his father's footsteps or blatantly ignored obligations. Your father graduated from Hogwarts in seventy-one; word through our Allies was that he'd been repeating the rhetoric of one Tom Riddle at the Castle. As the Head of House your great-grandfather agreed, without protest, that if either or both should happen -as it appears it has- House Greengrass would be absorbed by House Potter and restarted in the next generation."

The stoic _'I am Ice, nothing fazes me'_ mask shattered under the impact of such a statement.

"Are you saying . . .," she started, looking panicked as she rose out of her chair.

"Sit down," his voice went hard, making the command stick as she flopped down into the wingback. "I know that Magic is a fickle thing; the words coming out of my mouth may very well have started the process. Look at this as an opportunity Daphne," he relaxed his stern visage, "you get to restart your House with a clean slate. Granted the seat in the Wizengamot will be held by my House for five generations -not as reparations but as a means to insure your House isn't completely shafted- but beyond that you lose nothing. Bloody hell woman, I could give you such a fortune that your tenth-generation children wouldn't have to work a day in their lives if they didn't squander the gold. I was at Gringott's yesterday and found the goblins asking me for a favor; they needed some of the physical coin stashed in my vault. I now have these."

A piece of legal parchment came gliding into the room before settling on the table between them. Daphne had never seen anything quite like what she was looking at; if the goblins went back on their word this could be the means to completely destroy them.

_**Promissory Note Issued to House Potter**_

_**Value: One Hundred Thousand Galleons**_

_**Note number: 23,523**_

_**Gringott's GUARANTEES this note**_

_**Ragnok, Liege Lord of the Goblin Nation**_

"Yes, I have the notes that came before this in one of my Vaults," he sent the parchment back to his office. "They do vary in value, most are those hundred thousand while others are ten or just one thousand. I'm the first Magical born to an Ancient House of any status to have some paper money instead of all gold. Don't misunderstand, I still have many Vaults filled with coin on top of the notes. This is what I mean about issuing you a fortune by Pure-Blood standards; I'm so far ahead of them it's ridiculous."

The Harry-clone had been rambling, thus missed that his audience had decided on an impromptu nap at the sheer implications of his wealth.

"Bollocks," he groused as he set to waking her up.

While Harry-clone number four was trying to revive one Greengrass, clone eight was talking to her sister Astoria. Much of the conversation with the younger of the two sisters was the same as the elder. Where it differed was just after being informed of the deal between the Houses.

"Let me get this straight," the _'Ice Maiden'_ persona was in full effect, "you're telling me that for all intents and purposes we are ineligible for any other types of contracts?"

"Well, as the Head of House Potter I can declare the contract null," was his nervous response, understanding some of what others felt under that gaze. "Doing that however would break the ancient Vassal Pact and lead to a Blood Feud between our Houses. Not something I look forward to having already declared on House Prince."

"No, no, no, no, no," she waved her arms in front of herself quickly. "The current contract is a good thing; Daphne and I have been worried for some time as Lucius Malfoy -before his disappearance- had been trying to imitate a dog and sniff up our skirts. It's bad enough that Pansy got dragged into the mess with Malfoy but to try to load his House with so many daughters is . . . well, I'd say barbaric but you aren't trying."

"I hear where you're coming from," Harry reassured her that she hadn't flubbed. "It's one thing when a set of circumstances causes an outcome; it's something else entirely to force those circumstances. House Potter has avoided -barely, mind- having to fulfill the various contracts since just before Grindelwald was born for varying reasons, mostly under the guise that the House had no less than two members at any time until my grandfather died in eighty-two."

"So . . .," Astoria trailed off, not knowing what would happen next.

"Right," the Harry across from her started twiddling his thumbs, trying to come up with a conversation piece. As his blank mind continued to produce nothing his eyes roamed for a bit.

Astoria had a similar shade of blond to her sister set in a simple low pony-tail that went halfway done her back. Her eyes were the ice-gray, the same as her sisters' he would later learn. One area where the sisters were different was in skin tone; while Daphne was porcelain Astoria had the coloration of a tanned marshmallow, a light golden brown that indicated long amounts of time outdoors.

The robes of the younger Greengrass were inverted from the elder; turquoise trimmed in royal blue. They were also three-quarter sleeves, reaching half way between her wrists and her elbows.

While the conversation between the Harrys and the sisters Greengrass stalled, clone fourteen was hosting the eldest living human in the Battlements.

"What the bloody devil is this tripe?" demanded Nymphadora Tonks, flailing the letter Harry had sent to her mother above her head.

"Don't hit me," Harry-clone whimpered, "or I'll pop. Just give me a chance to explain here and . . ."

"Explain now!" she interrupted him, throwing the letter onto the table that separated them. Her loss of control on her temper led to drastic measures on his part.

"VOLDEMORT!" he bellowed, shocking her out of her tirade. He'd learned using that tactic from Hagrid's wailing at the end of first year; seems it was very effective indeed.

"Right, now that I have your attention," he gestured to the chair she'd knocked over upon entering the room setting it upright. "Sit down and we'll talk."

The pair stared at each other for a good five minutes, each waiting for the other to begin. Each time one got fed up, the other opened their mouth at the same time leading to a strange stalemate.

Using the time wisely Harry-clone took a look at the young woman across from him. Tonks, as he'd learned straight off the bat not to use her first name, preferred shoulder length bubblegum pink hair. This contrasted with her violet eyes -he was certain that wasn't her natural color-, although he wasn't about to offer up a critique. Her parentage was obvious as she was in a _Weird Sisters_ tee shirt and a plaid skirt that didn't reach her knees, although she was wearing black leggings thus leaving no skin exposed.

"Right," he forced out at last, "we should get straight to business. I sent that notice of reinstatement to your mother because it's true. Since Sirius got shafted by the wonderful Ministry of Mismanagement and the Department of Magical Logic Excuses, I found myself as the Head of House Black. Going through the Family Tree I found members that had been disowned for being more human than puppet. Your mother, Cedrella, Alphard and Marius to name a few. So, in following with the Will of Arcturus Black I reinstated them -most posthumously- and ejected those that have lost their way like Bellatrix. Narcissa and Draco I'm still uncertain of right now, but we're not here to talk about them."

"House Black," he relaxed into his armchair, "finds itself in dire straits. Since there are so few true Blacks left the House is in danger of extinction. While more than a few I could think of off of the top of my head don't see an issue with this if I don't at least try to save it then . . . well, it'll be a right nightmare. Your mother, being happily married, opted out of taking part of the Restoration. Your father, being a First Generation, knows that his name won't carry on unless by some miracle you find yourself with a younger brother. Thus, because I brought your mother back into the fold -which included you as her daughter- we come to the crux of the issue."

"Are you joking?" she looked skeptical, and he couldn't blame her. "This is just . . . it's out-dated, outmoded, and just plain stupid."

"You'll get no arguments from me," he nodded, "but at the same time you are the only unattached un-bred female within the House that I know the location of. If Narcissa gave up her claim to Draco before I disowned her, as an example, she'd fall under the same clause that's affecting you. I know, the whole inbreeding thing right?" he posed, seeing that it was a hang-up.

"By the Tapestry my Gran was the sister of your great-grandfather, making us fourth cousins removed a time or two; however the thing goes. Narcissa is a third some such or other while the spawn that is Draco well . . . by blood, fourth something. By House; not at all being the son of a Marked Terrorist thus being disqualified."

"So, what, I have no choice in the matter?" he hair had turned fiery red, a clear indicator of her mood.

"Well, I could by your request undo the reinstatement," he offered, leaning back in his chair looking wholly unconcerned. Mostly because it was her choice even if he wasn't showing what he was truly thinking. "But seeing as in with the delayed dowry your mother just cashed in a cool two million and the half a million set aside for you later on . . .," he trailed off, knowing money talks.

"Way to put me between a rock and a hard place," she groused, shaking her head. Her hair had gone back to bubblegum pink meaning she was back to her usual self.

"Look, you're not the only one," Harry pointed out the door. "There are three other Houses represented here today by witches; those Houses have the same chance House Black does to start afresh. That's not something any busy-body off of the street can claim; that they were responsible for the rebirth of a House, even less the older the House. Forget one that has a name longer than He-Who-Is-Hyphenated-By-The-Sheep."

For the first time between the two a relaxed silence, interrupted by the occasional Harry or Dobby-clone always following the copies of their Master wandering by the open door, descended.

Harry was contemplating asking the question the metamorphmagus had probably heard too many times to count but decided against it. If he'd known that asking to see what she really looked like and not the cherub face that -if framed by red hair- would look like a tomato was one that she'd rarely heard he'd have gone for it.

"Right, drop your trousers," she suddenly ordered as only she could. How she was a 'Puff when she acted more like a Gryffindor was anybody's guess.

"I'm sorry, what?" the demand caught him flat-footed, as testified by his eyes trying to leave his skull.

"Pants, trousers, drawers, y'know the clothes on the lower half of your body," she elaborated, using as many adjectives as she could think of to get her point across.

"Who, what, what, who?" his mind had turned off, leaving him blubbering like a First Year facing the Sorting Hat.

"Merlin's Flaming Penis!" she cursed in the unique way that was all Tonks. "You need written directions to go with that?"

It was strange, noticed Original-Harry as he poked his head into yet another room to find his clone and Angelina Johnson going over the books that had the Ritual for the Birth of Family Magic. While there were more than a few that had managed to lose their trousers between the end of the marvelous brunch and when he went looking; none were engaged in any of the physical activities he'd discovered over the week.

So far the whole event appeared to be going at least decently. Not wanting to jinx himself he avoided calling it 'going well', which was the thought that jinxed it.

"What the hell is that in your pants, a dragon?!" shouted Alicia Spinnet three rooms away, before she came running headlong into another Harry which turned out to be the one she was looking for.

"That's not funny in the least!" she scolded him, looking terrified. "You know the Twins tried something like this a couple of years ago, thinking they could score if they were overly large they could get a quick shag out of . . ."

"It's as real as your tits!" he defended himself, feeling a massive blow to his ego. "No, I _didn't_ know that Fred and George tried something like that. Remember, the lot of you were pulling that '_He's the Heir, run for your lives!_' bit with me? I have no desire to fake having a tool that can double as a pike, all right?!"

Their raised voices earned an audience from the surrounding rooms as a clone and a witch took a look to see what the hubbub was about.

Penny came hustling by, pulling Alicia back into the room she'd been in before slamming the door shut. Harry looked around at him-selves and his guests before barking at them.

"What?!"

_**1900; Same Day**_

"Right, that wasn't so bad," Harry let out a deep sigh of relief as the last of his unusual guests headed home. While the day had its' ups and downs it wasn't the complete disaster the dinner had been a week previous. "Remind me to hurt Fred and George for thinking about getting their jollies in more ways than one."

It had been a shock to learn that the Twins had tried something that rated up there on the "not right" scale. Granted, there had been no nefarious thoughts behind their backfired prank; they were trying to both get a laugh and a shag. It took the Chaser-Trio to calm Harry down from _'CRUSH, MAIM, KILL!'_ to _'embarrass the hell out of them'_ by telling him they'd gotten their revenge in the way only a woman could with a horny male nearby.

Complete cock-block, after riling them up too.

In that moment the three had wished to be under the eyes of McGonagall; the stern look he gave them was that fierce and his lips had vanished into a thin white line. He had drilled it into their heads that doing that wasn't the safest idea in the world; if it had been somebody that was determined to get some whether the female was cooperative or not they'd not be laughing about it.

Katie had retorted that, saying that the Twin Terrors were truly sorry indeed; in a move worthy of Slytherin the three had blackmailed them with social death in the dating pool from their stunt. The look she got in return was the _Pose of Death_, which quieted her instantly.

"What, exactly, did you tell Alicia anyway?" he turned to Penny, whose face was a nice shade of cheery. His look turned severe when she gave him the Mona Lisa Smile; that little upturn of the lips that screamed _'I know something you don't!'_.

"Just the truth," she replied from her refuge behind Hermione, who was trying to stifle laughter. Harry was being completely unreasonable in regards to his teammates; then again he was known to turn fierce when somebody he knew on a personal level was threatened in any manner. Sharing a locker room with them led to there being not much that the four hadn't known about each other.

"Right, and just what was the truth?" Harry wondered while looking at a portrait; his voice had gone soft and sad. The tone told the story: he was expecting a negative reaction at any moment.

"That while it's as real as the rest of you, you're still learning how to use it," was the honest response. "Alicia was surprised to learn that; she knows that you have no need for an ego at all as a preference. With the things you've done over your first two years at Hogwarts anybody else would at least tell the story a time or two to the masses. Ah . . . Carrot-Top . . . y'know, the other Weasley that you were friends with; yeah he was good for doing what everybody else expected you to do. Strut around like you owned the place; awe people with tales of power; soak up the attention."

"Bah," he snorted, "just you wait until I am in those halls again. Ron's going to be eating words for a term." He shook his head, going back to the original topic. "For ten years all I heard from my . . . housemates, was how much of a freak I was. Any time anything went wrong it's _'blame it on Harry time'_. Granted, I know now that from my Aunt it was jealousy of my Mum. From my Uncle and Cousin jealousy that they couldn't measure up to me . . . well, in _that_ department anyway."

The three young women noticed his usage of present tense in regards to taking blame, meaning that the treatment from his Aunt and Uncle was deeply ingrained.

"Well," Luna chimed in, trying to cheer Harry up, "from the general consensus the witches are willing to give the deal a go. There are some rough areas that each of us will have to iron out eventually; nothing too major though. The biggest complaint, actually, was that you lurk in the background a tad too much before swinging into action out of nowhere. They, and the rest of the school as a matter of fact, would either prefer to be there when something crazy goes on or we hear the words straight out of your mouth."

"I figured that from what Penny said," he looked at the blond out of the corner of his right eye. "That was something else I learned in that decade: stay hidden in the shadows at all times. Hmmm . . .," he suddenly broke off in thought, before summoning parchment and a fountain pen out of his office. "Let me make this easier to understand."

He started writing a list. It wasn't overly long but at the same time it was depressing to see that he was subject to such treatment.

**Rules of the House:**

**1.) Do not ask questions.**

**2.) Do not speak unless necessary.**

**3.) Do not been seen by guests if it can be helped.**

**4.) Do not ask questions.**

**5.) Do not speak unless necessary.**

**6.) Do not complain.**

**7.) Do not ask questions.**

**8.) Do not speak unless necessary.**

**9.) Do not perform better than anybody else in the house at anything.**

The 'not asking questions' and 'do not speak' rule was repeated four more times, much to the ire of Hermione. She had wondered why Harry's curiosity got the better of him most of the time; now she had a good idea. Bad enough that humans as a whole were curious; it was even worse if that urge to discover why things were the way they were was suppressed to the point of being a mindless drone before suddenly being unleashed.

"Oh dear," Penny's inner Ravenclaw was crushed by the list. Being a Prefect then Head Girl of the house of the intellectuals had its perks; one of them was access to the All Time Grading Book. It was a Codex of every student to have graced the halls of Hogwarts; created in thirteen-thirteen -the all powerful year- by a Ravenclaw alumni Headmaster at the establishment of the current system. It would self update at the end of every term with the grades of the students, ranking them by Year, House and Overall.

She'd snuck a peek during the Chamber fiasco, looking for clues there as whomever was attacking students had to have some brainpower. The then group of Second Years had Harry listed in the lower third, passing comfortably but with a ton of room to improve. By House he was in the bottom fifth; Overall in the bottom sixteenth. His scores raised a flag or two within her mind but as she was looking for something else entirely she'd put it aside. Then his unexpected Maturity hit and pushed it clean out of her mind; even though the last time she'd seen the book he'd risen to the upper half across the board from having all EE's. She'd only remembered that when the automatic memory block was lifted.

"Scruffy looking nerf herder!" Luna bellowed at the list, like it was death personified. Her First Year she'd seen how lost Harry was without his talking encyclopedia that was Hermione. Granted, he was at least nice to her as opposed to Ronald. When she'd been petrified the youngest male Weasley's grades had plummeted to almost the fabled Dead Last spot. Harry wasn't much better but he tried infinitely harder than his now ex-friend.

Hermione's reaction was actually worrying Harry, for she'd gone into complete stillness which was never a good sign. It was difficult to comprehend that anybody could do that to a child, forget blood relatives. The vile piece of parchment, looking innocent on the corner table, explained so much though. There were times when Harry was curious to the point of making a cat look like it was asleep; then there were times when he was completely lost on a subject but didn't open his mouth for clarification.

"I'm trying to break some nasty habits," his voice was quiet again, waiting for somebody to laugh at him and/or tell him he'd gotten what he deserved. It was times like these that he hated being a teenager; blasted hormones were all over the place. "That's why I've been going over my Library every day since moving in here. I know my parents would be furious with my scores; my grandparents certainly were and told me as much."

"Don't worry about it," Hermione finally spoke, before conjuring her bluebell flames to torch the parchment. He was quick to levitate it off of the table so it wouldn't burn. "I understand Harry, I really do. For two years I've looked over your work; you at least made an effort and _tried_. In fact, I should have known that something was wrong by the way you'd either verbatim the assignment out of the book, which never earned more than an Acceptable, or on the more rare occasions when you threw in personal thoughts and experiences went all out. Those were the best, earning mostly O's but were so few and far between they didn't help your grades much."

"Well, Potions is a lost cause so long that Snape is in charge," he offered a half-smile, not quite believing what he was hearing. Compliments were unheard of at Privet Drive; Hogwarts wasn't much better having the populace either love or loathe him.

The duo of younger witches headed for home at that point, deciding it was best to leave on a high note. They could see the expression on his face and knew he was feeling rather happy.

"Shall we?" Penny had taken it upon herself to be available for his needs. It had taken her the better part of the week to convince him that she was fine with his need to flex his magic in that way.

He grinned at her in response, leading her to her room.

_**1945; Friday, August 26, 1994; Quidditch World Cup Stadium**_

"This is awesome!" Luna shouted to be heard over the crowd, taking in the scenery from the Top Box.

The Quad, as they were jokingly calling themselves for the time being, had taken one of the last portkey's in to the match. It had been a laborious climb to the Box, countless flights of stairs coupled with the jostling crowd. They'd seen the various Houses that were tied in some form or another to House Potter; Draco Malfoy had a spectacular glare when they'd crossed paths. Narcissa, scenting extreme danger from her Head of House, had quickly shooed her son away from him.

They had also seen the Weasley's and Diggory's, en route to the Nose Bleed Ring; the uppermost concourse of the place where there were no seats. The four hadn't gotten close enough to be seen by the family of gingers; which was a good thing as Ron was being loud to Cedric in his hatred of how high up they were.

As a member of the Wizengamot Harry had first dibs on tickets to the World Cup. This is what led to the Weasley's and Diggory's getting bounced out of the Box; his group had taken the front row which otherwise would have been Arthur's. Amos Diggory, feeling for his friend and coworker, chose to follow his lead to the Ring.

"Excellent!" Harry's grin was infectious as he looked down on the pitch through his Omnioculars. When they had passed the souvenir stand he'd bought one for each of them, enabling the four to look at everything on top of many things Irish. Such as shirts, hats, jumbo-clovers and the like. Penny even transfigured herself a giant green foam finger; Luna immediately asked for one of her own.

The four were waiting for the other six invitees to arrive, even as Harry eyed a House-Elf that was acting strange. As the Quaffle-toss approached they were joined by Tonks -chartered for personal security as a ruse-, Padma, Parvati, Su, Hannah and Susan already sporting their own souvenirs.

"Absolutely amazing!" the tiny form of Su Li squeaked, literally vibrating from excitement. She, like the Patil Twins, was aware of her heritage being a potential roadblock to being in the Top Box had it not been for Harry being himself and bringing them along.

"Tonks," Harry snagged his pseudo-guard as she 'patrolled' -when in truth she'd just hit a food vendor for some overpriced grub-, "check out that Elf and chair, other end of row two." He had learnt much from Dobby including the odd behavior that the Elves as a whole had. While following orders was a given they were also happiest not being seen unless absolutely necessary and that Elf wasn't following protocol in the least.

As the rookie Auror moved off to have a look-see at the goings on, Harry turned back to checking out the stadium and crowd. Over here, some old guy with his left index finger two knuckles up his nose. Over there, down near field level, Justin Finch-Fletchley jumping around like a loon to the pregame festivities. In a corner out of sight from those not specifically looking, was . . .

"Luna," he called over to her, "ten o'clock, down fifteen rows in the break of the stands. Is that Marietta Edgecombe taking on two blokes at once?"

The question had every set of Omnioculars in the Box looking in that spot. Sure enough there was the Ravenclaw in question bent over, her skirt around her waist; her blouse and bra pulled up above her developing breasts, while one enjoyed her mouth the other her arse.

"Gulping Gargoyles!" Susan couldn't believe her eyes at what she was seeing. Then again, those blokes were just plain tiny when compared to Harry and as such lost interest in the live pornography taking place.

"Look a bit further down, there's Cho looking highly uncomfortable," reported Hermione. The Ravenclaw Seeker was indeed looking like she'd rather be elsewhere as her best friend got her jollies; either that or she'd just lost a bet, one of the two.

"Ooh, the possibilities," Luna's voice was barely heard as she'd gone off into dreamland. The blackmail material she had now was worth its weight in gold and she intended to collect.

Harry went back to scoping out the crowd after looking one last time at Marietta. One of the two blokes he recognized as Roger Davies, the other he couldn't see his face. The going-to-be a Fifth Year would be classified as attractive if it weren't for the visual he had of her activities. That made him frown for a moment in thought, before reevaluating the whole statement. It would be the height of hypocritical of him to judge a female for taking on two -or more- at the same time since he could create hundreds of himself. Yeah, that's what the issue was. He was already uneasy with the idea of seeing his clones get their jollies; the mere whisper of inviting another guy into . . .

He had a strange bit of accidental magic right then, as his gaze had come back around to Marietta and her good times. If the look in her eyes was right she was close to orgasm; that look turned into the one many a male have seen when they do something rather stupid. Harry's magic had reached out and turned off both blokes just as her orgasm was about to start; it got better as both of the young men thought they'd finished and were making themselves presentable before leaving the highly frustrated girl there. He could see Cho checking on her friend, doing what she could to be a shoulder to cry on as Marietta tried to finish herself off.

Luna, also watching the scene, wanted to pounce on Harry for his wonderful gift. Two of her tormentors weaknesses had been exposed; Marietta was denied an orgasm after being _this close_ and Cho appeared to be fighting herself in rubbing one out right there as any voyeur would. The eventual roar of rage from Edgecombe, barely heard above the din of the crowd, was music to her ears.

While the teenagers were finding out all sorts of things to hold over their classmates heads, Tonks wasn't having such a good go at the other end of the Box. The House-Elf, Winky, was being highly protective of a seat for her Master yet was not saying who that Master was. Resolving to wait until after the start of the match to come back and try again she wandered back down towards Harry as Minister Fudge wandered into the Box with his Bulgarian counterpart and their chosen hangers-on for the evening. Since there was no simpering _'hem-hem'_ or gaudy pink cardigan it was a safe bet Umbridge was nowhere nearby, a plus in every Ministry worker's book.

Fudge looked happy for all of five seconds before Harry turned in his seat to look at the newcomers. Eyes darting around revealed the Lovegood, Bones and Abbot heiress' with three foreigners and what had to be a Muggle-Born.

"Something's afoot," Tonks reported to Harry, causing him to look down the row at the Elf that had resumed hiding her face. The action drew attention from the Ministers and their entourage, turning to see what was going on.

"I say," Ludo Bagman had bounced into the Box at that moment, "what is Barty's Elf doing up here all alone?"

"Barty?" Harry glared at Bagman, "As in Bartemius Crouch Senior? Where is he?"

"Wouldn't I like to know," mumbled Fudge as his guest continued to speak in Bulgarian to his own people. The offhand mentioning of Barty Junior went clean over his head.

"What do you need him for?" Bagman tried to look shrewd, instead looking like he needed a toilet pronto. There was something about the retired Beater that was setting Harry on edge; truthfully like most Ministry workers.

"Nothing that involves House Bagman," was the formal response, piquing the interest of those not in the know. "Just an issue between Houses Black, Potter and Crouch."

Fudge scented danger in the extreme; the young man had brought the issue to light in the closed doors of the Wizengamot. Doing so out here in public -in front of a foreign dignitary!- was just going that one step further.

As if summoned by the young Lord, Bartemius Crouch appeared for a brief moment. That moment was all that Harry needed.

"Bartemius Crouch Senior, you have been charged with attempted Line Theft of House Black and interference with the then Heir Apparent of House Black and House Potter. You and your line are forever disenfranchised from House Black; House Potter demands reparations in the amount of ten million Galleons standard and your life! You imprisoned my Godfather without trial or due diligence!"

Crouch did the smart thing and fled, Harry having moved over to the stairwell to shout the last at the man which led to many more than necessary hearing the declaration.

"Right, well," Fudge spluttered, ringing his bowler hat.

"Now that that's done," Harry returned to his seat, "I'm here to watch Quidditch. Unless I invited you please don't bother me."

TBC

All right, that didn't quite make sense to me either. No matter what I do, except for leaving the scene on the cutting room floor, it just comes out all bizarre. Oh well.

To my readers/reviewers: a big shout-out and two thumbs way up!


	8. Magical Maturity 7

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

_**Special Notes**_: Right, well . . . not much to say. Visit my forum if you want, now that I know I can load it with polls I might just do that. For this piece, the death and destruction begins.

Magical Maturity; Arc One Part Seven

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_**2300; Friday, August 26, 1994; Quidditch World Cup Stadium**_

"That was just . . . awesome!" Harry looked like he was crying in joy from the match, earning amused looks from his guests. The Irish National Team had just swung by the Box for the trophy, shaking hands with their Bulgarian counterparts and the spectators present.

"Oh yes, fun," Hermione had been uncomfortable since Viktor Krum had eyed her body, driving her to distraction. "Can we go now?"

"Bastard better not be at Hogwarts this year," the leader of the group grumbled to himself, making certain to not be overheard. That reminded him to have a meeting with the vast crowd of girls on the First after the Feast or as soon as the blasted vow of silence lifted. The Yule Ball was going to present a problem unless it was sorted out beforehand. "Right, our portkey doesn't leave for another two hours so let's wander around; see the sights; meet up with friends . . . where'd that Elf go?"

He'd been looking from person to person and noticed that the guardian of the unused chair had finally gone, which was strange as Bartemius Crouch hadn't come back to the Box after fleeing.

"There's something odd going on here," Tonks muttered, her eyes shifting about much like her mentor. The only thing she lacked was the ability to look through her own head in that regard.

"Right; everybody keep your eyes open and stay close," Harry did what came natural to him when called for and took charge. "I'd rather it be nothing but . . . Tonks, think like a bad guy for a minute. How much of a target is this little get-together?"

"Now that the game itself is over," she started slowly, working the scenario through her mind. "With the people getting drunk and stupid . . . very much a target."

"Let's go," his demeanor had hardened as his led them out of the Box back to the Tent City. Being paranoid was doing nobody any favors; hopefully there wouldn't be any mayhem beyond people having a good time.

Once they'd reached the _'Land of a Thousand Portable Houses'_ did Susan, Hannah, Padma, Parvati and Su split off to head back to their families and/or lodgings for the night. Each had seen the serious look in Harry's eyes as he scanned the surroundings, keeping a look out and decided to relay a message to the respective adults.

"Ron, would you quit it with the Harry-Bashing please?" the voice of Fred/George -it was impossible to tell- drifted out of a tent the four were passing. "We get it, you're jealous that he got to meet Krum; enough little bro."

"Penny?" Percy had looked out the flap to see his ex . . . standing right next to the subject of the conversation. This would definitely not bode well if it wasn't handled with care.

"Gred, Forge, Douche and Backstabber," he greeted the Twins jovially before deadpanning at the other pair of Weasley's present. "You two I don't know, so . . . Harry Potter at your service."

Bill and Charlie had wandered out of their temporary room at the new voice, wondering who had dropped by. There, surrounded by four girls, stood the Head of House Potter etcetera et al. One of those girls was giving Ron the evil eye while another was issuing the stink eye to Percy. The blond simply swayed from side to side, looking everywhere _but_ at what was in front of her. The last -and oldest, not that they'd be dumb enough to voice that- had taken up a guard station surveying the crowd. As for the young Lord himself; the eldest brothers of the brood noticed that his eyes were looking around the area, taking in the surroundings.

"Boys, why so quiet?" Arthur wandered out of another room, before seeing why they weren't still celebrating. "Ah, Lord Potter . . ."

"Unless it's a formal setting, Harry works just fine," he interrupted the Weasley Patriarch, surprisingly 'warmly' if that was possible. "I just wanted to say hi to the Twins and that I'll be seeing them at Hogwarts. Oh, and since you're here; Tonks," he gestured to the Auror at his side, "and I believe that something odd is afoot tonight. Keep alert because we . . ."

He didn't get to finish as what at first sounded like a roar of voices turned into a cacophony of screams. Those outside the tent turned to the left, looking for the cause of the chaos and found a nasty surprise in the form of masked wizards running amok.

"Death Eaters?!" Tonks was blown away that the group would apparently surface _now_ of all times. "Sorry Harry, gotta go!" was her parting words as she ran into the crowd that was going the other way, trying to reach the troublemakers.

"Arthur!" aforementioned Potter barked, getting the man outside of his tent. "Take these three to the Burrow with your family, I'll be along shortly to pick them up."

"And where are you going?" Hermione demanded, not wanting to leave his side as confusion descended on the hundred thousand Magicals that were running about. The answer she got was silence and a right index finger pointing straight at the cloaked wizards.

"Go, now," he turned to Penny and Luna, before facing the oncoming wizards. "Ruin my good time?! Your arses are mine!"

The screaming masses didn't notice at first as the floating Mundane were yanked out of the air before being set down gently in a copse of trees. What got their -and the Death Eaters, for there happened to be no other group brazen enough to dawn masks- attention was a passing shockwave that picked up dust and debris, lowering visibility before magic of every color began to fly. While the followers of the Dark Lord and other rioters shielded themselves they were still surprised by the power behind the onslaught.

As the noncombatants fled, Harry marched forward into the breach. From the outside, all that could be seen was confused combat; due to the low visibility it had become difficult to know who was shooting at who.

Aurors and Ministry workers that had gotten separated fought anything that moved -sometimes a troublemaker, sometimes themselves, sometimes Harry-; the Death Eaters hunkered down as they didn't have their attention split; random Magicals flung curses of every variety; then there was Harry walking through the mess laying waste to all he encountered. It was by design that he wasn't attempting to be lethal yet as that would just be wrong -at this time, as there were good guys in the melee- in his eyes.

While the four sides of the battle traded fire -in some cases, quite literally- from the wood came a shout and a streak of lime green heading into the sky. The masked wizards looked at and attempted to flee; attempted being the key word there as Harry was having none of that.

He jabbed his right hand at the Dark Mark before making a fist. As he did so the skull portion of the Mark was crushed like a conjured tin can before the entire thing was ripped out of the sky, dissolving as it fell. His left hand had been dishing out Transfigurations and Animations like they'd been declared illegal; one of the robed figures could be seen running back and forth being chased by a fake bear. Another had a Tanuki attached to their face, hitting them over the head with a frying pan of all things.

"It's a trap!" a third Death Eater managed to wheeze out after having their head turned into what looked like a Herring. A fourth went from being combat capable to an addition to the wood as a tree at the wave of a hand. Herring-head promptly tried cutting his friend down after a _Confundus_ made him think his skull was an axe.

A fifth member of the attacking force made a tactical error firing an _Avada Kedavra_ at Tonks. She had ducked out of the way, letting the curse sail over her into the trees. Harry had seen the action and pointed both hands at the offending party.

Nobody quite knew what happened next; all that could be pieced together was that the poor sod wound up taking flight after being lit on fire with the equivalent of Napalm; whatever it was the Magicals weren't aware of it and didn't know to smother the flames. Nothing anybody did -Vanishing, pouring water and the like- could put the fire out after they'd found the guy two hundred meters away next to a pond of all places.

Harry, meanwhile, paid no mind to the fool he just cooked. While five of the Death Eaters were effectively out of commission there were still six more causing havoc. There was no help to be found from the crowd; they were either fleeing in terror or continuing to join in the riot, swelling the meager numbers exponentially. Some of the troublemakers were doing so just because they could, some were drunk and some believed in the Pure-Blood Movement. Sorting out who was doing what for which reason wasn't his problem though; he was more concerned with keeping Tonks -along with himself, that voice of Hermione that was his conscious roared at him- alive and give his guests for the game a chance to escape.

The riot grew as every Ministry worker joined the fray, even Bagman and Crouch. Shouts, spells, screams of agony, cursing, threats, yells of terror, bellows of pain . . . madness encompassed a good portion of the Tent Field. Harry was getting angry with the sheer stupidity around him as the _'Good Guys'_ kept using schoolyard jinxes trying to capture the instigators while the _'Bad Guys'_ were in it for the mayhem, death and destruction.

"Time to get a load of me," he growled to nobody as he formed his army of clones. He had been hoping to not have to use this skill; however as the congregation from Beauxbatons was nearly overrun by some of the scum looking for a good time he had no choice.

Everybody paused briefly as a wave of Harry Potters crashed into the masses, sending the riot from somewhat-controlled chaos into pure anarchy. He no longer bothered to sort by association; instead he hit every person in his path with pure power sending bodies flying in all directions. For a time the clones had to pull back to the original for the various fighters had a decent push going. Then he pushed back and crushed their resistance and, if necessary, their skulls.

"Holy Merlin!" Tonks dove under a flame-cutter that would have bisected her, returning fire with a tripping jinx. She could see Harry . . . just about everywhere mowing the opposition down like so much grass. He appeared to be beyond fed up with the chaos around him as he had turned to the left before bringing his right arm -from left to right- across the battle zone. More bodies took to the skies from the shockwave as even more dust was picked up. Visibility had nearly zeroed, making continued combat a real bad idea. She took note that the one that had sent the cutter was suddenly a head shorter.

The best sight to behold now graced the scene as each Harry, numbering in the hundreds, had fire-whips going from both hands. Rioters that were not so far gone started surrendering left, right and center as the flames of death twisted through the air like so many snakes creating quite the light show. Unfortunately there were those in the crowd that wanted to keep going.

_**0200; Saturday, August 27, 1994; The Burrow**_

"What the devil are you doing in this house?!" Molly Weasley roared, brandishing a frying pan at Hermione. She'd been awoken by the unexpected arrival of her brood and, as the chaos they'd left behind had to be explained, it took time to sort everything out. Then Arthur got into row with her, trying to go back to the site of the battle. That argument had lasted two hours, before he finally caved in knowing that she was overly worried.

"She's here because Harry asked me to bring her here," her husband took the pan out of her right hand while giving her a stern look. "Don't you dare start in on her or her companions; he will hear of it when he gets here."

"He's . . . coming _here_?!" she panicked, wondering what kind of mood he would be in.

"Sorry about this," Penny was playing peacemaker; rather she was trying to at any rate, "he used Mister Weasley as an excuse to get us out of there before engaging the . . . well, I don't reckon they were Death Eaters but . . ."

"Right; okay," the Matriarch of the Weasleys looked conflicted and confused, shaking her head at the goings on. "Fine, she can stay until he comes to get her; then would somebody be kind enough to tell him that she is not welcome here?"

"Oh go boil your head!" Luna had enough of the attitude, somehow looking fierce while at the same time looking spaced-out. "She never did anything to you or yours; you know that Ronald started the whole thing by being his usual berk self. It's not her fault his wee-Ron is the size of a peanut."

"He tried something with you?" Hermione broke into the conversation, feeling slightly vindicated.

"Well, to be honest he was six at the time," the blond had the grace to look contrite. "But he didn't understand Ginny being a girl; he kept checking her knickers looking for something that wasn't there and showing his like it was the greatest thing since Snorkacks. One day over at my house he tried that with me; my mum promptly took him home and never let him come back."

"Do it once and they never let you forget," Ron grumbled, going into full pout mode. If it ever got out that he had issues in his trousers he'd never get a date.

"Why is this the first I'm hearing of it?" Arthur turned to regard Molly, waiting for an answer.

"Like she said; he was six!" she threw her arms in the air completely exasperated. "It was an honest mistake, something I tried to explain to Celestine but she wouldn't hear of it. Something about a possible interference with her future opener; whatever that means."

The Head of House Weasley face-palmed, knowing exactly what his wife was talking about. No wonder Luna's mum had been overprotective of her in regards to being around his boys. Knowing his luck House Potter was charged with seeing to Luna as she matured. If his sons had touched the young Lovegood there would be hell to pay. Serendipitously he looked around at his family; while the Twins and Ron were confused Bill, Charlie and Percy understood what the subject matter was as shook their heads when he met their eyes.

Ginny had been paying attention and kept silent, knowing what was going on thanks to the teachings of the Diary. Tom Riddle had researched Family Magic rituals and, more importantly to the at-the-time budding Dark Lord's mind, how to properly corrupt them. She knew that there were two ways to mess with an _Opening_: a general corruption that permanently binds the witch's magic or the _'proper'_ way which changed the very soul of the witch. The youngest Weasley had no way of knowing it, from having leftovers from the sixteen year old Riddle, that later in life he'd done just that to Bellatrix creating the perfect follower.

After all, witches only hit sixteen once. It'd taken twenty years for him to perfect his technique and make it irreversible. The rumors he'd allowed to be spread that he'd sacrificed his junk in one ritual or another was the perfect diversion in that regard.

"Where the bloody hell are we?!" shouted Amelia Bones, drawing all attention in the Burrow to the backyard. She was beyond surprised at the sudden change of scenery; the only thing preventing her from going back into the fray was that Susan had attached herself to her Auntie and wasn't letting go. Seeing Arthur Weasley lightened her mood significantly; there was only one place that looked like his in the entire Isles.

Those that were unaware of Harry's new talent were gawking as half a dozen clones wandered between the groups now talking to each other checking for any injuries. Tiny Su Li had engaged in rapid-fire Chinese with her parents while the Patils were going back and forth in Hindi.

"The fighting was getting fierce," Susan could be heard explaining the battle to Hermione, Luna and Penny. "Even though the idiots in masks were subdued the crowd, being mostly drunk and stupid, kept right on going. One of the Bulgarian visitors started lighting everything Irish in sight on fire. The Ireland folks didn't like that at all, forming ranks to march into their territory. From nowhere came Harry . . . well, a _lot_ of him wielding fire-whips which scared just about everybody. That was after some dolt had tried to conjure a Dark Mark which was promptly destroyed."

"Did you see that transfigured bear gnawing on that one's head?" Hannah had wandered into the conversation after sitting her mother down in a chair conjured by a clone.

"What about the frying pan wielding Tanuki?" Su turned in the direction to add before turning back to her parents.

"What a bunch of idiots," Luna grumbled. "First those supposed Deadly Excretions or whatever they're called, then the crowd rioting . . . they must be dumber than Ron is when he farts himself awake."

"Who-wha-huh? Whatever's going on here . . . better knock it off," the target of the jibe spoke up, having been ushered into service as a waiter/spy; Molly was not amused by the early hour visitors yet needed information as to what was going on. He'd caught only part of the mutterings as he wandered by.

"Fart yourself awake recently?" Hermione sneered, giving her all to get a good score on the _'Snape Scale of Sneers'_. She took great delight in his face imitating a tomato even as he turned to glare at Luna. The blond was completely unfazed, simply swaying in place studying the stars.

"I was _five_," he growled, wanting the crowd out of his yard if for no other reason than he was cranky. Between Krum losing, the riot, and the fact he hadn't eaten in five minutes he was in a foul mood. It was bad enough that for the second time in a few hours he was going to cross paths with Harry; right now he had to appear tolerant of his tormentors.

"What are you on about? You did it yesterday," George deadpanned, having heard a funny and investigated while Fred ran interference. "Woke the whole bloody tent. Dad thought there was an elephant; Charlie a dragon; and Bill a mummy that wasn't done right in there with you."

"Ugh," Hermione's face had scrunched up in disgust, "thank Merlin that Harry has manners! Tell me, did you need to check your drawers?"

"Oh yes, Perfect Potter!" Ron mumbled and scowled, his temper set to maximum burn. He ignored the jibe at himself, instead focusing on his one-time friend. He didn't seem to realize -or rightly care, for that matter- that he was being overheard as he wasn't nearly as quiet as he thought he was. "Always gets what he bloody well wants including girls; loaded to the gills with coin and can't bloody share; everybody's favorite Golden Boy of Gryffindor while the rest of us struggle through!"

From the skies the sound of a heavy metal object falling at a good clip was heard briefly before Ron found himself under an anvil with ACME printed on the side. The sudden random action had earned goggle eyes all around before those aware of how fickle Magic truly was backed away to avoid damage.

Harry made an entrance into this scene. While Molly was busy trying to move a three hundred pound anvil -completely missing that she could Vanish it- nearer to the Orchard there was a flash, a lengthy pause, another burst of light then a third before he appeared with somebody slung over his shoulder sliding backwards on his feet. Marking his passing were twin trails of flame that burned nothing, fading away rather quickly as he came to a stop just before colliding with Amelia and set the Auror -the robes gave their identity away- on their feet.

"Don't do that again," those that recognized Tonks had raised eyebrows as she stumbled about drunkenly. "That felt like I was using a Portkey in the middle of Flooing."

"Isn't that an impossibility?" Hannah looked towards the Ravenclaws scattered around the yard, knowing that they would have at least heard of such magic beforehand even as a passing reference.

"I'd believe she's referring to the effects on her body," Su shrugged, watching as the Original Harry conjured a couch for the Auror to lay down on. "Between feeling pulled down a drain and the hook behind the navel is the different effects on the eyes in each mode of transport. Oh my . . .," she trailed off, looking green as her imagination supplied imagery she didn't want. She wasn't alone in that regard; everybody that heard her and understood what she was saying appeared ready to be ill.

"There you are!" a tall, dark-skinned Auror appeared with a '_Pop!'_ of displaced air, looking ragged. He completely ignored Harry and had started talking to Amelia. "Initial reports from the riot: seven hundred eighty-three injured, twenty-nine dead, property loss valued at thirteen million Galleons at least and a transfigured bear we can't seem to get rid of."

"What about the Tanuki?" Luna appeared worried for the conjured raccoon-dog, but being herself it was hard to say if she was or was making a joke.

"Right, the frying pan wielding beast from hell," was the grumbled response. He wasn't even aware that he'd just answered a question not from his boss. "Dawlish won't be in for a while; seems the thing took a liking to him and won't quit humping his leg . . . and he, for some unknown reason, _likes_ it. The raccoon-thing that is, not so much the humping of the leg."

Harry had the grace to look embarrassed and the brains to keep his mouth shut about the Tanuki being his fault.

"Barking," Amelia tutted while shaking her head, "howling mad. Right, are any of the dead of the Crunch-n-Munch variety?"

"Seems a good bit of the crowd not in Chez Azkaban," the yet to be named Auror grinned. "Nott, Crabbe, Goyle, Avery, Bulstrode, Parkinson, both Carrows, Macnair, Yaxley, Flint and Selwyn of all people. Some had Marks and some didn't; we know of four that were Inners."

Harry held in the bark of laughter as the list was committed to memory. Pansy would appreciate this little impromptu gift.

"Umbridge is going to _love_ that," the Head of the DMLE deadpanned, complete with half-lidded stare. If there was a silver lining to the events of the night the high-ranked Death Eaters that had avoided prison-time or death were now permanently out of the picture. "Did we ever find the one that conjured the Dark Mark?"

"Crouch seems to think it was his Elf," the reply was emotionless, telling the Auror's belief to the matter. "Caught her with a wand he did, along with Bagman and Diggory. Rubbish if you ask me; no House-Elf would willingly use a wand knowing of the punishments forget using one to cast a piece of magic that would lead to their death. He gave her clothes on the spot before storming off, from what Amos told me."

Unnoticed by all but those that knew of him, Dobby had appeared soundlessly and listened to the conversation that wasn't being muffled in the least. It seems the two had forgotten about their surroundings or were still in battle mode meaning information over security. The excitable Elf looked ready to show them that his kind didn't _need_ wands for magic; just like his old Master had found out. Instead, he got an instruction from his new Master and Friend -oh yes, it deserved the capitalization- to find the Elf in question and bring her before him. Just as quietly and quickly as he'd appeared he was gone, earning a few raised eyebrows in Harry's direction to which he shrugged slightly as if saying "Wait a moment, I don't know either."

"All right Kingsley," Amelia had digested what she needed to know, although she had no idea that he knew where to find her. "Go back to the field and commence clean up operations. Once," she paused long enough for a quick _Tempus_, revealing that it was going on three thirty in the morning, "morning shift reports in have them take over and relieve those on station. Hogwarts starts in four days; we have until then to fix this mess."

Nodding in acknowledgement he disappeared the same way he arrived, leaving his boss to do whatever it was he had interrupted. Half a second later a pair of Elves appeared, one looking angry and the other distraught.

Well, that came to a stop in the presence of Harry. His magic, being as strong as it was, usually caught the attention of the nearest Magical Beings within a quarter-mile radius. Getting within feet of him was just awe-inspiring for those that hadn't had a chance to get used to it. Thus, why even human Magicals have issues containing themselves around him sans the blasted scar.

"Great Master Harry Potter sir," Dobby would never change his address to his 'boss', "this beings Winky, sir. She's beings freed for beings a goods Elf. Master musts be helpings Winky!"

"Don't worry Dobby; I fully intend to," he looked from one Elf to the other, noting that this was the same as the one he'd seen in the Top Box. "Winky, I know you are a good Elf. I saw you earlier . . . well, last night at any rate doing what your previous, ah, _employer_ told you to do by holding his seat. Even though he never used it, you stayed until the end of the game before leaving. I could tell that you were terrified being up that high from the ground; I know a few people that have the same problem," he smirked at Hermione, who huffed and crossed her arms. "So, since I _know_ that you're a good Elf needing a home; how would you like to work for me?"

The female Elf went from depressed to elated in the span of a heartbeat. She quit wringing her ears, allowing them to perk up as her eyes enlarged threatening to fall out of her head. Before anybody -especially Hermione, who looked outraged at the goings on- could object Winky had latched onto Harry's offered right hand.

The bonding process was rather unique for those watching. There weren't any lights, sparkles, waves of magic or anything of the sort. Instead, one Winky became three hundred in the blink of an eye. Then, just to add to the crowd there were three hundred Dobbys, each picking a clone of his new coworker and vanishing to either the Battlements or one of the other multitude of properties Harry owned.

"See Hermione? I offered, she accepted and is now as happy as a clam," he turned to look at the number one objector to House-Elf enslavement. "The difference between me and people like Malfoy is that I'm not going to abuse the trust she's showing in me."

"That, and House-Elves _do_ die if unbonded for too long," Luna stared off into the predawn light making itself known. "You know Harry is far too kind to abuse his Elves; if he does get upset with them he'll talk to them and treat them like he wants to be treated."

"Oh all right," the brunette gave up on freeing the Elves before even starting. In its place was the desire to see their treatment improve from abusive families as a whole. Her look softened as she gazed at Harry. "You do have a point, both of you."

"Great!" Molly chimed in, trying to hide her nervousness at being near the powerhouse under a chipper attitude. "Now that that's sorted, can you get her out of here?" She jabbed her right thumb in the direction of Hermione earning a fierce scowl in return from everybody present. The scariest had to be from the fourteen year old boy in front of her as he was the only one with an eye-glowing thing going on.

"Fine," Harry growled, glare set to maximum. Without turning his head he addressed the others. "Let's get out of here, since _somebody_ has it stuck in their head that they are never in the wrong." He waited for the others to leave before turning to the Head of House Weasley. "House Potter will remember this behavior from Houses Prewett and Weasley; you tread on thin ice as it is. Arthur, thank you for your help tonight, however House Potter will be unable to repay this debt due to your _wife_ not knowing when to shut her gob."

The Harry clones, that everybody had forgotten about, had already left with the Abbots, Bones', Patils, Li's, and Tonks thus they weren't around to witness the byplay.

_**1300; September 1, 1994; Hogwarts Express**_

"For the love of Morgana!" Harry was banging his head against a wall, entirely fed up with the traffic wandering by his car. Knowing that his responsibilities couldn't be put off due to the school year he'd arrived at King's Cross an hour early and convinced the Engineer to get one of the club cars out of storage for his personal use.

Well; convinced in the way of jumping into the Engine, throwing the thing in reverse nearly crashing into the end-of-track barricade then threatening to drive as fast as he could all the way to Hogsmeade.

Needless to say he got his private car. Instead of there being compartments the entire vehicle had open seating in bench-rows facing inwards lining the walls. This let the rather large group see each other without much craning of the neck.

The problem came not long after leaving the station in London. The Engineer, in a fit of pique, informed the entire train where Harry Potter could be found. Within moments people started coming and going, making the noise level entirely too high with the door to the next car nearly constantly open. Some of the visitors, especially the First Years, had come by to _'see Harry Potter, the Eighth Wonder of the World'_ -what the Engineer called him; some had come by just to say hello while some -Malfoy and his crowd- made their seasonal appearance and made fools of themselves.

Two hours later; the comings and goings of the students showed no sign of slowing down. As if back for more Malfoy had returned with his bodyguards, Millicent Bulstrode -who appeared extra sulky-, and Theodore Nott while Pansy was nowhere to be seen.

Since her father had been dumb enough to run with the Death Eaters that caused mayhem at the World Cup and promptly lost his head, she had avoided the Malfoy scion.

"What have you done to her Scar-head?" the leader of the group demanded, earning a deadpan look in return. He mistook the expression for confusion and elaborated. "Pansy, Scar-face! What have you done to her?!"

"Nothing, really," was the drawled answer while he buffed the fingernails of his right hand on his shirt. "If anything, find her now dead father and ask him why he was a douche." His eyes came up to meet Draco's. "Now, could you quit acting like a five year old? Maybe find a dictionary to enhance your insults? Something like this, perhaps: _'your Mum is a two-knut whore and your daddy was Voldemort's cock puppet'_."

The entire car went silent, eyes popping from just about every head in disbelief. He had never really returned fire before and was now letting the Slytherin teen have it; both barrels. So shocked were they by the salvo that they completely overlooked the usage of the Dark Lord's name.

"Or maybe even: _'your daddy's ancestor was cursed by a Veela to be a pretty boy with a tiny and useless tool'_," Harry was having no more of the young Malfoy. "I could go into quite a few about your Mum but as she's a cousin of mine -and hasn't done anything to me _yet_- I'll leave it as it is. Maybe you, Crabbe, Goyle and Nott should go sit in a circle a pull one out of each other. Oh, wait, you _can't_ 'cause they couldn't find your junk hard let alone in its current state. Now then, son of a cock puppet, please make like a tree and leave."

Malfoy's face had _almost_ reached the stage of red that would take it out of the pink range. Almost, but not quite leaving it looking like a kiwi fruit. The way his expression appeared pinched made it hard to tell if he really had to go to the toilet or was upset not only by the insults but by the laughter that was starting to build.

His back-up was no help; Crabbe and Goyle didn't understand a word that just passed out of Potter's mouth while Nott had stepped away with both arms up in surrender. Bulstrode continued to look sulky, not even paying attention to her surroundings.

With a grunt of anger Draco turned for the door, trying for the impressive robe billow and flubbing it as he tripped on them. Getting up, face now red due to bruising, he stormed out of the car with the Slytherins that had come in with him and slammed the door shut hard enough to shatter the window.

"What was that?" Padma Patil wondered, looking between Harry and the now repaired -and locked- door.

"Hmmm?" he was distracted for a moment, before her words filtered into his brain. "Oh, that was me showing Ponce E. McFerret what teenaged insults sounded like. While most of the time he sounds like an uneducated broken record, he really needed the demonstration that I'm no longer playing nice. I'm surprised he didn't make any of his usual, snazzy comebacks about his old man though."

That was something that had been bothering him for the better part of a month. Word of Lucius dying had gotten around but not the circumstances behind it. If Harry didn't know better he'd have sworn that somebody would have made a stink about it; instead all he'd encountered was silence. This really set him on edge as it was the silent crowd he had to watch; they were the ones most likely to exact revenge. Then again, Dumbledore may have his fingers in this pie too.

"That wasn't nice," Susan Bones chided quietly, blushing while doing so. It was still hard for the young teen to draw attention to herself.

"Nice and Draco Malfoy in the same sentence is the herald of Armageddon," Hermione looked nonplussed to be dishing out her own style of witty comments. "I'd say an oxy-moron but that'd be an insult to oxy-morons everywhere."

"Speaking of Ron," Luna chimed in from nowhere, earning raised eyebrows all around. "Word around the train before we left the station is that he failed last year and has to repeat Third Year again."

"How did that happen?" Parvati's gossip-senses were tingling. "More to the point, how did we miss it when the grades were posted?"

"Neville heard from his Gran," Hannah replied for the blond, having been visiting her childhood friend one day, "that Dumbledore went to the Board to pass a student that had failed. The Headmaster made it sound like he'd _just_ missed the cutoff for passing; instead when Augusta Longbottom reviewed the grades she found that Ronald Weasley scored Trolls across the board _all year_. When pressed Professor Dumbledore admitted that the boy hadn't even tried to apply himself; he's still missing assignments from September of last year."

"Let me guess," Harry groused, wondering why if Ron failed so miserably he was at the World Cup, "our illustrious leader assumed he could do what he wanted anyway and doctored the Grade Report; thus keeping Ron's parents out of the picture?"

"Auntie mentioned something like that," Susan blushed harder, but forged on. She could have been a Gryffindor plowing on even though she was embarrassed by the attention. "Madam Longbottom had Floo-called, wondering if she had any legal action she could take against the Headmaster for the attempt. Apparently he was in the room when she did so, presumably from Hogwarts, as within moments the question was withdrawn."

"Ah, ickle Ron-Ron," Blaise Zabini deadpanned, complete with half-lidded glare at nothing. "Yes, we even heard of his sheer lack of motivation in the Dungeons. Even though he had -still does, actually- detentions coming from his ears he never did any work unless the Professor in question for the class was hovering over his shoulder. We heard enough grumblings from Snape alone in that regard."

"Professor Lupin looked like he was going to eat Weasley," Daphne agreed, nodding her head. "Considering that he was our best DADA teacher to date and a werewolf that's saying something right there."

"Lupin was laid-back, very mellow," Tracey Davis looked deep in thought. "He'd grace everybody, I mean _everybody_, with a smile and kind words . . . except for Ron. There was something that just rubbed the man the wrong way."

"Do any of you remember a time Ron might've gone nuts over his rat?" Harry had an epiphany as to the real reason his father's friend had been not-so-nice to his ex-friend. Granted, considering that he'd not bothered to try for the whole year -apparently with backing from Dumbledore- that didn't set right with the brains of the Marauders.

"Near the end of the year," Hermione didn't want to spend vast amounts of time talking about the ginger that had been a total berk to her. "He was overheard ranting to Dean and Seamus that Crookshanks had eaten it but never came to me directly. I only found out 'cause they told me."

"And did Lupin's mood improve or get worse when the rat went missing?" Harry pressed, leaning forward to look around the car.

"It got _much_ worse," Pansy appeared in the door, having been keyed into the lock. "He nearly yelled at Millicent for botching the handling of a Grindylow."

"Peter you son of a . . .," Harry's eyes narrowed, glaring out the window opposite his seat. He did take note that the others looked confused and had a quick mental debate about informing them. "That rat wasn't one; he happened to be an Animagus in hiding for the past twelve years at the time. While the man accused of betraying my parents rotted in Casa de Dementor, he sought out a Wizarding family in hopes of hearing any news about his Master. He must have heard something in the Castle as to the whereabouts of the Shade of Voldemort and left to hunt what's left of him down. His name; Peter Pettigrew."

Those that were familiar with the name fell out of their seats, looking completely shocked while the few that had the bare facts blinked owlishly.

"Peter was friends with three other boys during his time at Hogwarts," Harry elaborated, seeing that not everybody got it. "My Da, James Potter; my Godfather, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. The four were the biggest pranksters of the time, nicknamed the Marauders. In truth Peter was nothing more than a hanger-on; he followed the biggest bad in the sandbox. According to my Da's journal, the three had become Animagi to run with Lupin on the nights of the Full Moon. Peter began acting oddly in Seventh Year -nineteen seventy-eight, seventy-nine- and after graduation, distancing himself from the group; disappearing for days on end and whatnot. While, as the weakest of the four, he was never suspected of it this was the time I figure he got his Dark Mark."

He sighed, knowing that his parents were looking for the good in people rather than the bad. If they had been just as suspicious of Peter as they had Remus they might be alive this day. Shaking off the rather depressing feelings he carried on.

"Now we fast-forward a bit," he leaned back in his seat. "For a length of time -my birth to October twenty-ninth of the following year- yes, Sirius was the Secret Keeper of the _Fidelius Charm_. I see every single one of you took notice of the date; on the thirtieth of October a switch was made from my Godfather to Rat-Man. Twenty-four hours later my parents were dead. Peter is the betrayer of the Potter Family and will die a most horrendous death if I ever get my hands on him."

"Why did they switch?" Luna was confused, not an easy feat to accomplish with her.

"The switch was done on the suggestion of Albus Dumbledore," his voice, and expression, were flat as eyes widened all around the car. "I'm undecided on Whiskers; I might just toss his arse out of the Castle tonight or maybe duel him to the death. I really don't know and right now don't rightly care." He opted to change the topic. "So, what else did I miss last year?"

"Quidditch," the Chaser Trio deadpanned at the same time, bringing up another issue. They alternated, creating a _Triplet-Speak_, "We didn't get the Cup last year by not having a Seeker that could . . . well, Seek. McLaggen bullied Wood into letting him on the team; that worked about as well as Snape announcing he had found the cure for Phoenix-Sphincter."

"Where do Magicals come up with these names?" Hermione was wide-eyed in disbelief. Then again, with the Mundane technical names of diseases that were at best difficult to pronounce unless one were highly educated there wasn't much difference.

"The first reported case was some old guy that got buggered by a Phoenix," Su looked like she wanted no part of the conversation but made an effort any way. "Since the guy had no clue what he had until the burning-death-rebirth thing -causing the muscles to be replaced every decade or so ruining any control- started in his arse he'd spread it around. Seems he wasn't too picky about bed partners: old, young, men, women, human or not it didn't matter."

"That's just wrong on so many levels," Harry groused, shaking his head. "Right; is there anything else I missed besides Ron being himself, Professor Lupin being a real DADA teacher or Quidditch?"

The next few hours of the ride was spent in general conversation. Since the door to the next car was locked to those Harry didn't want to see at the moment, the group had the chance to sit around and get used to each other in peace.

"There'll be none of the old House Rivalry between us," Harry was putting his foot down while he had the chance. "If this . . . _idea_ of my House is to work there can't be any of the mayhem that goes on in Hogwarts. I'm supposed to wait until we hear it from the Headmaster but as I happen to _own_ the Castle and Grounds . . . there won't be any Quidditch this year. Now that we're half way to Hogwarts the vow of silence has lifted on an event taking place throughout the year."

Everybody leaned towards him, listening raptly.

"England, France and Bulgaria have gotten it in their heads to make another go at the Tri-Wizard Tournament," he was cutoff immediately by those that knew their history.

"Oh bollocks!" Daphne nearly raised her voice to shouting levels as her eyes tried to leave her face.

"The last time the Tri-Wizard was held all three Champions died!" Tracey looked panicked at the revelation.

"Oh, it gets even better," Harry calmed the crowd slightly, before dropping another explosive cauldron on them. "The First Task involves Dragons; Dumbledore, as the Headmaster of the Host School had to get governmental approval to bring them into the country near populated areas and the School. I'm not talking hatchlings or juveniles, I mean the big ones; nesting mothers and their clutches to be precise."

The cacophony of sound was great as they all tried to talk over each other. He let them go on for a bit to vent their emotions before waving his hands around the car silencing them.

"No doubt he expects another attempt on me," this caused even wider eyes all around, even though it didn't stop him. "I say that because Dumbledore has requisitioned _four_ Dragons from the Romanian Preserve: Swedish Short-Snout, Chinese Fireball, Welsh Green and Hungarian Horntail. As you can imagine, when I heard his speech as to why the Tournament and the Dragons were a good idea I felt he was completely off his rocker."

"Now, unlike everybody else -including Beauxbatons and Durmstrang- I have an out," by getting it out in the open he eased many worries. "I've been studying the rules and history of the Tri-Wizard: rule twenty-eight-b states that governmental officials are prohibited from participating; four-thousand-eight-f states that the owner(s) of the Host location are again, prohibited. This means there is no chance at all that I'll be forced in; the Goblet of Fire will reject my name . . . well, so long that somebody doesn't mess with the charms already on it. Even if they do breaking out the rulebook will be in my favor."

Hermione started waving her arms, trying to get his attention and the _Silencio_ lifted and having no success. She had noticed the books he mentioned around the Battlements and now understood why they were out.

"The biggest thing about the Tournament," Harry went on, softening his gaze, "is the Yule Ball. Oh yes, I can tell by your reactions that you've figured out the Dress Robes requirement this year. We need to come up with an idea of how we're going to handle the Dance; I refuse to ask one and leave the rest out for it's not fair to them." Now he lifted the silencing charm, waiting for their input. "I've even invited Penny and Tonks, so that they aren't left out."

He tuned this part of the conversation out, knowing it was for his health to not try to tell a group of females what to do. There were times when he would get assertive, no doubt about that, but at the same time he was applying some self-preservation to the mix.

Women in general were scary like that.

So, as the noise washed over him, he turned to gaze out one of the many windows. The weather, that had been grey and gloomy when they'd left King's Cross, had decided to make the ground its own personal toilet. The cloud-cover had turned black from the thickness and rain fell in waterfalls -not buckets, cauldrons or even barrels but hard enough to look like one was inside a rather large waterfall.

While gazing out of the window he felt the train begin to slow, which was extremely odd but given the washout/slide potential in the mountains there might be a problem with the tracks. This idea was quickly discarded when he noticed that the glass was frosting over; something that was an impossibility with the remaining summer warmth.

"What's going on?" somebody shouted as the lights died, plunging the car into darkness after the train came to an abrupt halt. It was a good thing that the seats faced each other; if anybody had been facing towards the front of the train they would have been tossed on the floor. The darkness was quickly corrected by Harry creating glow-spheres of pure magic, sending them to float along the ceiling from one end of the car to the other.

"It seems the Ministry for Misfits has moved the Dementors," his voice was the hardest they had ever heard it, "because of my Godfather. Although we know the Rat fled last year Sirius probably has no clue and has been spotted making his way to Hogwarts. I'd wager he figures I'm in danger from Peter and is wanting to insure he doesn't finish the job his Master started."

"There's _something_ boarding the train!" Parvati reported, briefly pressing her face against the window before backing away due to how cold the glass was.

Screams erupted from the car in front of them as students were exposed to the _Dementor's Aura_ at close range. While they couldn't get into the last car thanks to the sophisticated magical lock on the door the rest of the train had no such security.

"Fudge the fuckstick must die," Harry growled, as he stuck everybody to either their seats or each other before they could panic and try to aid their friends; this would just get them in the way. "Stay here; somebody has to clear the train of Snape's relatives." Another wave of his hand had quieted the car again, this time because of the translucent stag standing before him.

"Amelia Bones, Dementors on the Express for no bloody reason; tell Fudge he better run very far, very fast for the students are being exposed to their Aura," the emotionless stern voice was back, before the aptly named Prongs ghosted out the rear of the car for London. After it left he waved both arms around his person, creating a small herd of five stags. One he willed aside to message McGonagall at Hogwarts as he still had respect for her leaving four to combat the Dark Creatures.

"Am I ever glad I learned the _Patronus Charm_," he mumbled to himself, although with the silence in the car he was overheard rather easily. Then the herd charged the forward through the train as he followed, not having to change the way the door was locked insuring security behind him.

The screams of the students changed pitch as they were caught off guard by the apparitions of stags running roughshod on the Dementors. The noise level increased as those same creatures let out high-pitched bellows of pain from the manifestations. Those bellows turned into death keels when Harry made his presence known as he walked calmly into the fray.

One of the Dementor's had Cho Chang ready for soul extraction but didn't get the chance as its skull was turned into so much paste. Its partner/brother/whatever noticed and turned from Marietta Edgecombe, having already pulled her soul out of her body. When Harry saw the lifeless husk, knowing that the loss of one's essence was permanent, he went into a berserker-style rage and hit the foul beast with a maximum power _Evanesco_. He may have had issues with both girls for picking on Luna over the summer but he wouldn't want a Dementor to be the last thing they would ever see.

Under normal circumstances the magic wouldn't do much; when cast by the equivalent of a pissed of Merlin however the results were as desired. The Dementor was simply Vanished into the nothing, taking with it every soul it had ever 'eaten'.

Harry also multiplied himself, having one clone stay in the compartments he passed not only making certain any Dementors he missed didn't try for a free snack but also seeing to the traumatized.

Original-Harry kept marching forward as the herd of Prongs did their job pushing the boarders along the train. Every now and then one would get brave enough to float over them to get at him and he would respond by using a fire-whip to take its' head off or douse the thing in his magical-Napalm turning it into so much ash.

By the time he killed thirty Guards of Azkaban the main body had been pushed off of the train. It was here that the Patronus' showed their true power and detonated in the crowd, blowing another eighty to hell and back.

When Harry made it to the Engine he found that the Engineer was Kissed; probably one of the first victims. Being glad that he'd messed with the controls earlier in the day he settled in for the long haul of trying to operate a fifteen car train smoothly. The students on board were scarred and scared enough; no sense in making it worse.

_**1900; Same Day; Hogwarts Great Hall**_

Albus Dumbledore didn't look like an old man or a congenial grandfather. No, as the students shivered in their seats from exposure to Dementors he looked every inch the man that had gone toe-to-toe with Grindelwald _and_ Voldemort. Needless to say, he was pissed; four Kissed students and two adults. Sara Fawcett, Marietta Edgecombe, Zacharias Smith and Marcus Belby were forever lost along with the Hogwarts Express Engineer and Stewardess also known as the Cart Lady; eighteen close calls such as Cho Chang while the rest of the students suffered from the _Dementor's Aura_.

As he surveyed the masses, he took note that a few had yet to make their appearance. One in particular he was looking for; Harry Potter had found a way to kill Dementors and knew a piece of magic half of his staff couldn't do. The Headmaster knew, just as Harry did, that those that had their souls taken were permanently lost; it would be far more merciful to hit the husks with a _Killing Curse_ and be done with it. Doing so was easier said than done though for casting that particular curse took something that not a lot of people had.

The desire to see Death itself, up close and personal.

Before he could shake himself out of his thoughts, he noticed that Argus Filch was shutting the doors to the Entrance Hall before they swung back around fast enough to smack the walls drawing every eye in their direction, flinging the poor Caretaker clean across the Great Hall.

There, flanked by Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood stood a just-as-angry-as-the-Headmaster Harry Potter. The teen looked ready to spew fire as only a Dragon could while the girls were partially hiding behind him, each poking their heads around his shoulders looking worried, as if somebody would attack them . . . well, either that or that somebody would set off the walking nitroglycerin bottle that was Potter.

"Who, in their right -or wrong, in this case- mind allowed Dementors near the Express?" he demanded; _Pose of Death, Standing Variation_ set to maximum. The tone of his voice coupled with his expression told any and all what they needed to know: somebody was going to die as painfully as possible. "Let alone why those that survived swarming the train are now holding station here at Hogwarts and getting reinforcements from Azkaban?"

Dumbledore had heard from his sources in the DMLE that Britain was one hundred ten Dementors poorer; considering they only had five hundred as the procedure to make more was outlawed at the same time the Statute of Secrecy went into effect was saying something. The Ministry was metaphorically on fire from so many people -innocent children to minding their own business adults- getting Kissed in one go it wasn't even funny. He had been told that Fudge had barricaded himself in the Minister's Office and refused to see anybody face-to-face while Amelia Bones stomped around the place like a Nundu laying waste to all in front of her.

"What, couldn't handle a few Dementors?" Snape sneered from his spot at the Head Table, before his hands flew to his throat as he started choking. From across the Hall people could see Harry with his right hand extended and in the shape of a C-clamp.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing," even though his voice was low it boomed as if amplified . . . almost as if he was talking into a metal trashcan. "You shouldn't talk Snape, if this wasn't Neutral Ground I would kill you where you stand." He lowered his hand to which he took the glare from the Potions Master, as he massaged his sore throat while getting his breath back, with the care of the animated armor -that is, none at all. "I know you know about the Blood Feud; so here's how it's going to work at the School. I'm bringing in my own private tutor and you are going to enjoy being a thestral's cock sleeve. We stay away from each other and life will go on . . . so long that we don't meet outside these walls."

"One hundred points from Gryffindor!" the man sneered as severely as he could, which turned to confusion when the gems in the Points Glass didn't so much as wiggle. "What the-? Piece of junk, I said one hundred points from Gryffindor! Damned contraption, why aren't you working?! All right, fine; detention for the entire year Potter!"

"How about 'no' and you go suck Ron's ass?" was the quick comeback, earning wide-eyes from just about everybody. Snape's were bulging to the point that they appeared ready to fall out of his head. The Weasley in question tried to hide from the few looking in his direction; while it was awesome seeing somebody -anybody, really- have a go at the Potions Professor he only wanted to be an observer.

"Harry," unsurprisingly Hermione appeared to have had enough of the disrespect, that was before she continued. "I know you want the man to pay for what he did but sucking on Ronald's bum is a guarantee of death. Besides, they both might like it and keep going back for more."

"_Burn,"_ the Weasley Twins whispered to each other, looking awed at the goings on. While their hatred of Snape was only eclipsed by Harry's they were still worried that he might go that one step too far. Jokes and comedy are one thing; getting hurt or hurting somebody else was a line they didn't want to cross . . . most of the time. The things they had come up with but never used due to the danger level was astounding and would no doubt insure their expulsion if the Staff ever knew.

That, and after the Chaser's got a hold of them after that one prank too far . . . both shivered in remembrance.

Now the Potion Master was apoplectic in rage and nothing he did seemed to work. Just as he was about to draw his wand the animated armor that everybody had seen but overlooked as decorative marched into the Great Hall. He thought that the Headmaster had summoned them to get rid of the Potter menace; instead his beginnings of a smug look turned to shock when one of the armor marched up to him and punched him square on the nose.

"Harry-," Dumbledore started, only to be interrupted. He really didn't like the fact that he'd lost control of the situation. This was a quirk of his; even if it was just appearances sake he had to _feel_ in control.

"Ah, go call somebody that cares," he made a left-to-right slashing motion with his right arm. "You are the one that's supposed to see to our safety and yet _you_ let Dementors near the Castle and twice -_twice!_- you've let one form or another of Voldemort in. Well, thrice if you count his original schooling but I digress; for a Headmaster you suck major goat scrotum. You _know_ that my Godfather is innocent -no, don't even try that," Harry wiggled his fingers, disarming Dumbledore. "I told you as much and that I have _proof_ yet you let Fudge the Frightened do whatever he wants? Well congratulations are in order; the six that got Kissed are _your_ doing; not mine, not Sirius', not even those foul creatures that should have never been created to begin with."

"Mister Potter!" McGonagall wasn't trying to chastise him, rather she wanted the conversation to be had in private. There was no reason to air the dirty laundry for all and sundry to see.

"Ah, sorry," he caught on, knowing he was going to hear it later from various people. There was one thing he had to do with witnesses though and forged ahead. "As the Heir of the Four, and thus the owner of the Castle, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is hereby on probation. If standards do not increase within five years I'll have no choice but to shut the doors . . . permanently. Hear me out!" he yelled the last bit to be heard over the din he created. Eventually he had to create purple sparks to get everybody's attention.

"Standards such as education are extremely lax; I did some research and found that the Fifth Year Beauxbatons students are getting into Spell Creation, a course we don't even offer. Durmstrang students sit for the Defense Mastery in their Sixth Year; I agree with part of their philosophy. You have to know what you're fighting to counter it. Other standards are student interactions; there'll be no more of this Pure-Blood Propaganda Machine around here. What you choose to do outside these walls is your choice; it is _not_ welcome here."

"If you can't do the course you can't do the course," he continued as the other students began to really think about the situation. "Over the summer -once I moved into my home- I tried my hand at Arithmancy in my spare time. I'm absolute pants at it so I know I couldn't pass the course here. Runes, on the other hand . . . ooh, yes~. I found that I'm gifted with Runes; reading, writing, using, destroying- you name it, I can do it. Speaking of, excuse me for a moment."

A platoon of animated armor marched into a squared-U formation, the opening facing the doors to the Great Hall, stopping between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables midway to the Head Table. Once they were in place the floor melted downwards into a staircase.

"You two wait here," he turned to look at Hermione then Luna. "Where I'm going nobody can follow." With that he disappeared down the stairs, leaving those in the Great Hall befuddled.

Their lack of understanding lasted all of five minutes before the Castle seemed to come alive. The various forms of flame -candles, fireplaces and torch sconces- brightened to the point of being blinding, which when coupled with the sudden shine of the polished armor didn't help in the least. Those that had spent enough time in the Mundane world recognized the sound of something large powering up, yet couldn't identify exactly what that something was.

As the sound faded into a steady hum in the background from the open staircase came the crashing of what sounded like entire kitchens worth of pots, pans, ladles, silverware and various other utensils cascading to the floor.

"I'm okay!" Harry's voice traveled up the stairs, earning more than a few laughs.

TBC

A light hearted ending here, which is good considering the events of this part.

Again, not much else to say other than visit my forum (link address in my profile) and two thumbs way, way up for the readers and reviewers.


	9. Magical Maturity 8

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

_**Special Notes**_: With the mayhem of the Admins of ffnet I have also posted to Adult FanFiction the unedited version of my works. Some have complained about the crack getting to be too much. My only justification is that _all_ fan-fiction authors are off our rockers, otherwise we wouldn't be able to come up with these different plot vehicles.

I'm proud to be crazy, how about you?

Beyond that, wait for it. Nothing is free, after all.

Magical Maturity, Arc One Part Eight

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_**0645; Friday; September 2, 1994; Hogwarts Seventh Floor near Gryffindor Tower**_

Breakfast was underway, yet not a single Gryffindor could be found in the Great Hall. Being that it was still rather early that wasn't so much of a surprise; there were only a few from the House of Lions that could crawl out of bed this early on a non-school day. What would earn the attention of the other Houses was that the students of Godric's House weren't still in bed; rather, they had been on their way down when a bizarre scene came into being. As those in the front of the rush stopped to watch, they clogged the corridor forcing the other members of their House to stop jamming traffic completely.

The cause of the latest bout of mayhem happened to be the youngest pair of Weasleys. The two had hoped to avoid the crush of their peers for a change; instead, they became a spectacle.

Ron had been bent over the legs of a suit of armor that looked like it was sitting, in a chair, in the middle of the corridor and was getting his bared bum tanned while his junk swung in the breeze. While that was embarrassing -he couldn't focus on the fact his, ahem; _little_, secret was out-, it was nothing as to what was going on not too far from his face.

Ginny was in a similar position, having been captured by another set of armor that had promptly taken her over its knee, baring her knickerless backside to the world -which earned a few shrieks from the onlookers, being exposed to . . . that- and getting _'disciplined'_ for all and sundry to see.

One would wonder just what the special occasion was. As it turned out -thus, the reason for the traffic jam- the two getting their hind-ends introduced to steel hands apparently liked the treatment. It was public humiliation of the worst sort as both neared the limits of their endurance; Ginny surprised those that watched, having better willpower than her brother. This was evidenced by the mediocre -yet easy to identify- dots of white on the floor.

Harry, Hermione, Parvati -with her tagalong Lavender-, Alicia, Angelina and Katie had muscled their way to the front of the gawking crowd, losing patience with their Housemates. This put them in position for the grand finale of Ginny's control.

_**[EDITED TO CONFORM TO FANFICTION . NET RULES]**_

The reaction from the crowd of onlookers was predictable. Most simply returned to the Tower, convinced that what had just seared its way into permanent memory was a bad dream -or the Twins were getting started early with hallucinogenics this year. Most of the First and Second Years were utterly confused as to the goings on, instead reacting as any preteen would. Their shouts of outrage and disgust echoed off of the walls, almost drowning out the few who exclaimed that the happenings were amazing.

"What the-?" Hermione nearly swore in surprise, not knowing how a thirteen year old could do . . . what she'd just witnessed. Minor frustration also set in as the biology question zipped through her mind, drawing blanks as she'd put off learning Secondary-level Mundane sciences.

"That . . . is just wrong," Harry had turned his head to look at a portrait -seven animated dogs playing poker, the Jack Russell Terrier apparently winning the round- not wanting to having anything to do with the scene ten feet away.

"Gross," Lavender, being herself, made her opinion of the matter known. She, like her fellow gossip Parvati, hated anything involving anything that didn't involve cleanliness, neatness, or clothes.

"Suddenly, I'm not hungry," Katie looked green, even though she couldn't seem to move her eyes away from the goings-on.

Then Ron reacted in the expected manner. Those that hadn't fled were treated to him tossing his dinner all over Ginny's bum.

_**[EDITED TO CONFORM TO FANFICTION . NET RULES]**_

"I'm going to pretend this," Harry shook his head, a quick _Tempus_ revealing the time as seven fifteen, "last half hour of my life didn't exist. Of all the times we could actually _use_ Lockhart . . ."

Hermione got the reference to the DADA teacher of two years previous while the remaining crowd that had heard him were confused.

"Right," he marched on, absentmindedly waving a hand at the mess in the corridor. While he and Filch never saw eye-to-eye -frankly, nobody did- he was too nice a person to create more work for the man. That, and the only way to the staircase by the configuration of the Castle this morning was this hallway. Having cleaned a path through the mayhem of the youngest Weasleys -Ginny, still unable to move had yet to cover herself- he led the group on.

"How-?" came from five different female voices, eyes wide in disbelief. Due to the chaos on the Express they hadn't noticed when he had performed wandless magic.

"Ah," his response was sheepish, right hand going up to scratch at his cheek, "I, ah . . . don't _need_ a wand anymore. Not since my Maturity unexpectedly hit, at any rate."

"So, where is your wand?" Hermione had been wanting to know for some time and hadn't asked out of propriety. Now that the topic was breached, she had no such reservations.

"Don't rightly know," he glared at the staircase that had just moved away. None of them noticed that it returned to where it needed to be as if commanded. "When Dobby told me about my magic going haywire I had a random thought about foci -how they aid control- and grabbed it. Next thing I know I'm waking up without it."

There were winces behind his person as the implications of his statement worked its way through their minds. From what they had just learned Harry Potter inadvertently turned his entire body into a wand, which was a highly illegal thing to do according to the Ministry. Hermione was quick to put voice to that, causing him to stop in his tracks to look at them.

"It's all about control," his glare pinned them to the spot. "Those in charge realize there's so many things they can't keep in line, so they ban it. Wandless magic is more a descriptor of what I can now do, because no wand is _visible_. If something were to happen and the DMLE wanted to check it they couldn't. I could do anything and unless I was _seen_ doing it nobody would ever know. So, the Ministry in its' infinite wisdom, outlawed holding a foci while undergoing the final stages of Maturity and spun tales of wandless magic as myth."

"There's other things too," he had turned around and continued his march to the Great Hall. "that the Miscreants of Magic try to shove into the annals of history. Alchemy, Blood Magic of any variety, Battle/Combat Magic . . . they even restrict public Spell Creation to their own employees. Say you found a way to cast a _Reducto_ amplified by a factor of eight by changing the wand motion, the enunciation or what have you. So long that you never taught it to anybody, people would just assume you were powerful like that. If you _did_ teach it to others, somebody would talk and the Ministry would promptly serve you to the Veil as _'a threat to society'_ after they label you Dark. They don't like anything that steps on the toes of their control."

The troop continued down the stairs in silence, thinking about what he had imparted onto them. As they reached the ground floor did the lack of noise coming from the Great Hall pique their interest.

Rechecking the time, raising an eyebrow that it was just before seven thirty, Harry prepared for anything.

The Hall was packed with the rest of the student body, even if none were being their usual loud selves. Given that around half of them were still getting over being exposed to _Dementor's Aura_ that was completely understandable.

At the Staff Table, the chairs of the Head and Potion master were empty. This earned the group's attention as that meant something was afoot. The pair rarely missed meals together, one being the tagalong to the other. Which way that went had been the subject of debate for some time.

"This is strange," Hermione whispered, not wanting to break the silence. Her voice carried further than she believed as several students perked up to listen -even if they didn't turn in her direction.

"You're telling me," Parvati barely moved her lips, also keeping the noise level down as she looked around. "This place is usually so alive with friends talking about their summers or whatnot."

"Bloody Dementors," Alicia grumbled, glad to have been isolated in Harry's private car. She, and the others that he had stuck in place, had at first been upset that he had done so. Then they had seen not only the general effect that the Guards of Azkaban had on their fellow students; the soulless bodies had to be passed to get off of the train. Once the results of Dementors running amok were seen the group were rather thankful for being locked in a secure place.

His execution of his plan, spur of the moment it might have been, needed work though.

"Can you teach us how to fend them off?" Angelina leaned over to say into Harry's ear, hoping to avoid attention. She knew she hadn't been as quiet as she hoped to be when several heads around the Hall turned to look in his direction.

The Slytherin contingent came wandering over, earning even more attention. The ambient noise level also started to pick up as people had something other than the tragedy of the night before to dwell on.

"Typical," Harry groused, rolling his eyes for all to see. "My life is apparently not my own. Bloody unwanted fame." He shook his head, before turning to the now enlarged group as the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs that had contracts with House Potter congregated around him. "Right; yes I will teach you all the _Patronus Charm_. Since I can claim family business I'll also see about the magical burn-all Napalm as the contracts -while not spoken about- are a matter of public record."

Looks of jealousy roared to life around the Great Hall as Harry Potter was surrounded by girls and told them that he would personally train them in how to drive off and/or kill Dementors. Most of them would give their legs to be taught by the Boy-Who-Lived while others were thinking more along the lines of the girls getting private time with the last Potter.

"As soon as I get a secure location-," he started, only to zone out for a moment. He came back to reality rather quickly, "Sorry about that; the Castle was talking to me. Follow me after breakfast, we have three days of solid training we can get in before school starts on Monday."

"Hearing voices Potter?" Draco Malfoy sneered, making his appearance on schedule. This event was a watch-setter; every morning at seven forty-five the blond boy would have a go at the Gryffindor and anybody around him at the time.

"Yes," the comeback was delivered without hesitation, "and they tell me that your Mum would be a good lay. I ignore them though, as I like mine just the way they are."

"Wha-," the Malfoy scion turned pink, unable to formulate a witty remark to the burn he'd just received.

"It's called I _own the Castle_," Harry deadpanned, complete with half-lidded look. "Therefore, as she's as alive as a building can get, when I have a query about anything within the walls that pertain to said building and grounds I actually get an answer from the source. Now away with you; I have more important things to look at, people to talk to, and food to _get in my belly!_"

For the first time since First Year Malfoy sloped away, Crabbe and Goyle following without a grunt.

Now the group hit a conundrum in where to sit to be together. There wasn't enough space at any one table to accommodate them all at once. Not without bumping people who had gotten there first out of their seats.

Harry gave a sigh before waving his arms like an orchestra conductor, widening the gap between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables then conjuring a table for eighteen with plush looking chairs as a replacement for the hard benches. The Kitchen had a similar table appear from nowhere, to which the Elves shrugged then sent breakfast up.

"Problem solved," he snarked, sitting at the head of the table. It was fortunate that with the lessons not beginning until Monday -no sense in trying to get the students to settle in after such an event on the Express straight away- for that meant breakfast went longer than normal.

One his left from his end of the table were Hermione, Parvati, Padma, Susan, Hannah, Su and Daphne; on his right were Luna, Pansy, Tracey, Blaise, Alicia, Angelina and Katie.

"Just so the yokels watching have something to talk about," he waved his arms around, indicating the Great Hall as a whole and subtly casting a privacy charm. "Tomorrow, switch seating with each other. This will confuse them in regards to my _'court'_ if you will. Now then, since we have some elbow room no need to crowd each other here. Just don't be obvious if you're having a problem with somebody and are avoiding them for whatever reason."

Having lost the ability to hear or lip read -the charm was good at causing the eyes of onlookers to slide away- the rest of the student population went back to their deserved brood. Nobody wanted to argue that they shouldn't become so broody; each and every one of them knew what the others had experienced.

The arrival of the mail earned the next stir, as the various parents had heard of the commotion on the Express were writing to their children. The birds were in a fight for dominance, being that there were so many of them trying to deliver untold numbers of letters intermixed with the vicious _Prophet_ owls.

The headlines on the front page were fighting for top billing -literally, as one would push the others out of the way before being shoved aside in turn.

_**CHAOS ON HOGWARTS EXPRESS; DEMENTORS BOARD AND KISS SIX!**_

_**MINISTRY MAYHEM; MINISTER IN HIDING FROM DEMENTOR DEBACLE!**_

_**HARRY POTTER; PATRONUS POWERHOUSE CAN DESTROY DEMENTORS!**_

_**LAW ENFORCEMENT MELTDOWN; IMMEDIATE INVESTIGATIONS INTO TRAGEDY BEGIN!**_

_**SIRIUS BLACK SPOTTED; THIRD SIGHTING IN TWO WEEKS, ON COURSE FOR HOGWARTS!**_

Right behind the _Prophet_ and post owls were others, each baring letters just for Harry. Some were in red envelopes, no doubt from parents demanding answers as to why he couldn't save their children -or that the Dementors wouldn't have been looking for Sirius Black on the train if he hadn't been on board.

"Dobby!" he panicked at the inbound mail that would no doubt bury him. Blasted newspaper getting delivered to the Castle _last_ didn't help in the least as he could have used a head's up.

His friend appeared, took one look at the goings on and scared the life out of the other Magicals when he multiplied himself exponentially. In the blink of an eye there were two hundred Dobbys attacking the mail, set up like a defense perimeter. Every Howler was burnt to a crisp -without hurting the delivery birds-, cursed letters were slyly returned to sender via Elf -they opened upon arrival, causing whatever effects those senders had tried to hit Harry with-, letters of thanks were sent to the Battlements to be read later along with other miscellaneous missives. Just how the little guy knew what was what escaped Harry's notice; he was just thankful that he didn't have to deal with that amount of mail at once.

"What the-?" Over at the Slytherin table, Malfoy about lost his eyes from popping out of his head as the Elf that had been in his family's employ pulled out powers he'd never seen before.

The Weasleys cringed at seeing the Howlers, remembering their own misadventure with their Mum having sent young Potter one earlier in the summer. The event was so traumatizing that Molly had sworn off of ever using them again -anybody would after having their house basically exploded from within by a letter.

"Potter; fifty points from Gryffindor for disturbing breakfast," Snape sneered severely, having entered the Great Hall. He turned to look at the Points Glass when he didn't hear the gems move and tried it again. Seeing that there was no effect his sneer morphed into a full blown scowl as he stalked over to the Staff Table with his impressive robe-billow set to maximum.

"Five hundred from Slytherin for being a cock sleeve," Harry muttered at the man's back, before turning in shock as the associated Glass about broke from the noise it made. That had been completely unexpected and added to the list of things to research about the Castle as a whole.

The Slytherins took notice of being in the hole at the start of term and made their displeasure known. The roar of disapproval was almost drowned out by the roar of laughter from the rest of the student body while the shouting of the Staff was drowned out completely.

"Time for a little experiment," Harry mumbled, eyeballing the Points Glass, "lock Slytherin points at negative five hundred." Sure enough, the gems on their way down to the counter from Snape issuing a thousand points for being alive froze in mid-fall before reversing direction to the reservoir above.

"That worked," he pondered, right hand up by his face to rub his chin. "Let's try locking all points as they are." The gems that were going back and forth as the Staff got into a Points-War froze and refused to move. "Perfect, now we'll just leave it like that for a while; make them sweat."

Anarchy for the adults as they couldn't understand -not knowing how the magic of the Points System worked to begin with- why anything they tried failed to produce a result. They did take glances around the Hall to see if this was a prank by anybody; even the Weasley Twins were looking awed that somebody had gotten one over on the Professors. The only face they couldn't see at the time belonged to Harry Potter as he too was looking at the Counters, apparently befuddled by the goings on.

_**0900; Same Day; Seventh Floor near Gryffindor Tower**_

Having left the mess he'd created in the Great Hall, after giving instructions to his cadre to gather their books for the term and dress for getting dirty, Harry had gone to the Room. He knew that the Elves called it Come and Go, as it literally came and went on demand. Others over time had name it the Room of Requirement, as they'd believed that whatever was required at the time the place would provide.

For instance, he was in need of his morning Magical workout. He had put it off today, partly as this was the first morning away from Penny and Tonks and partly because of the scene the youngest Weasleys had caused. He didn't know who amongst the girls had gone how far with various sexual activities and thus had no clue who to ask for assistance.

He was of the belief that it was better to have a partner when flexing his magic as they made certain he did it right -in more ways than one.

He was glad that he had learned the phasing trick that Hedwig and Dobby employed, which went through Wards like they didn't exist. The mode of travel was instantaneous as there was no discernible 'in-between'; one moment he would be one place, the next somewhere else entirely. Having created a clone to see if either of the witches at the Battlements were available he set to creating a comfortable tea room. He knew he was on a bit of a schedule as the training would begin at ten.

When the clone dispelled instead of returning, passing along information that Penny was busy with being his new Personal Assistant and Tonks was at the Auror office, he frowned wondering what he would do now. He wasn't desperate enough to take care of matters himself and had an hour to kill.

The door to the Room opened, admitting Angelina and Alicia. He raised his eyebrows, knowing he had given a specific time to the group at Hogwarts and yet here they were.

"Something on your mind?" he figured he might as well enjoy their company in whichever way he could. If all they did was talk, then so be it -better than being bored for an hour at any rate. He was surprised by what they did next; after sharing a look -more than likely a silent conversation- the pair opened their robes revealing that they were nude underneath.

"Right," he grinned, before motioning them over to the table. They noticed that there weren't any chairs, which caused them to send him a confused expression. What they got for an answer was him rolling his eyes before moving towards Angelina to envelope her in a kiss.

Harry found that he didn't do snogging. There was something about chewing face that was not nearly as exciting as other activities. He was smart enough to know that the young women wanted their fair share of lip-lock so he compromised with himself; they'd get about half of what they wanted which was fine with him as he would rather put him mouth to other uses he'd discovered since Penny had moved in. That, and it caused them to come back for more as he wasn't overloading them with the lip action.

It was strange, he realized, to actually be touching one of the Chaser Trio. They didn't even so much as hug in his first two years of school; now two of the three were looking to have a certain itch scratched.

As the lip-lock continued, he made another discovery in regards to humans in general. Angelina's chocolate colored skin felt _different_ under his touch; nothing bad or the like for it was smooth, blemish free and whatnot. Her skin was more of a unique texture, which he found to be a good thing. Uniqueness was far better, in his opinion, than fitting a stereotypical mould the rest of society would want.

Wanting to insure that Alicia didn't feel left out, he moved over to her. At a glance he noticed that she had shed her robe completely, leaving it as a pile on the floor leaving her naked bar her socks and shoes. While kissing her his hands wandered, taking note of how her olive tinted skin felt as compared to the others. All he got as an answer was that unique feeling, which he wasn't about to dwell on at the moment for there were far more interesting things happening.

Knowing that the table was useless now, Harry thought to replace it with a queen-size bed. The Room complied while lowering the lighting level slightly to set the mood as it were. He was confused for a moment as Alicia moved away from him, before understanding dawned as she climbed over Angelina who had lay down in her back.

He didn't know the crude name of how the two were placed on the bed; what he did know was that seeing them head-to-crotch with each other was a definite plus in his book.

_**[EDITED TO CONFORM TO FANFICTION . NET RULES]**_

"What have you two done?" Luna was perturbed by the behavior of the pair, which when one considers it's Luna is saying something right there.

_**Same Time; Riddle Manor; Little Hangleton**_

"Gah! Oh, the pain; it hurts!" the homunculus that housed the spirit of Voldemort somehow roared with the raspy voice, twitching uncontrollably. He had no idea where the source of the pain was located; all he cared about was that it went away. Once that happened then he could have his agents track it down so he could kill it.

"Master!" Peter Pettigrew groveled, not knowing what to do because he hadn't been given any orders. Acting without permission/direction always earned one a _Cruciatus_ for their efforts.

"Just . . . shut up," was the retort as the Dark Lord got his rudimentary body back under control. Having been tested by various Dark Arts masters, he was familiar with pain curses.

_That_ exceeded anything he had ever felt before. Why, it almost felt like his soul was . . .

"Wormtail!" now he had a use for his only minion in the lair. The number of fodder he kept around was going to increase exponentially once the project in the basement was producing results. "Come here."

"Yes, Master?" the man that doubled as a rat whimpered.

"Ugh; good help is so hard to find," Voldemort went off on a bit of a monologue, before focusing on the current situation. "First, send word to our agent in Hogwarts: check the hidden room for a diadem and report if it's still there. Next, go to the seaside cave and tell me if it has been disturbed recently. Until I get Bellatrix out of Azkaban knowledge of the item I entrusted to her is unavailable."

He shifted around a bit, trying to get comfortable in the fifty year old chair. "Thanks to Narcissa I know my Diary is lost; if Potter hadn't goaded Lucius into suicide I'd kill the man myself. Go, now."

Peter fled, quite like a rat jumping off of a sinking ship. It was a rare day when the Dark Lord gave orders and did not issue reminders for failure. Then again, the tasks were so simple Crabbe or Goyle Senior could do them.

_§Nagini, take me downstairs,§_ he managed to crawl onto his familiar's back. Being so small had its' advantages after all as he had transport wherever he wanted to go.

As the giant Anaconda slithered through the house, he went back to thinking about his Horcrux collection. In the final missive from Narcissa -she wanted nothing to do with a man who could split his soul- he had learned not only the fate of the first but also that the Magical Government knew he was still around. The knowledge made any movements he wanted to do a little more difficult until he was ready to steamroll his way through the masses again.

Fudge was lost without anybody guiding him, as demonstrated by the Dementor Debacle. The man spoke pretty words, yes, but once he was flustered all brain capacity went out the window. A better puppet couldn't be found; the problem was that he had no spine to stand up and say _'No, that won't work'_.

Really, many of his followers were like that. Snape and Bellatrix were two of a small handful that could look him in the eye and debate his plans, looking for holes that would lead to failure. As he told Potter three years previous, he valued Bravery and Power; what he didn't mention was intelligence and the will to use it.

The Ring was secure, he knew as the wards tied his mother's hovel to his father's mansion then himself. If any Magical were to breach one or the other he would be alerted instantly no matter where he was. The Cup, as he mentioned to Wormtail, he had no idea about until he could 'talk' to Bellatrix. The Diadem and Locket were also unknowns, which he didn't like in the least. Nagini, he could feel -barely, which perturbed him as it should be stronger than that- the piece of soul within her . . .

So where did the pain come from?

He remembered the strange occurrences when he was within a certain radius of his arch-nemesis. There had been a _'tug'_, for lack of a better descriptor, deep within his soul whenever he had gotten within the same room as Potter during his ride in Quirell's body. The last time he had felt something like that was when he made the Diadem . . .

Voldemort nearly fell off of Nagini in surprise as the most unlikely scenario played out through his mind. If what he suspected was true he had gone _too_ far down the path of Immortality.

"Shite," he grumbled, for that would explain his issues with his body and magic after converting Nagini into a Horcrux. Even with the Diary being lost there had already been seven pieces of his soul; swapping one for the other mattered not for he had hit eight, a terrible magical number. A section of _Secrets of the Darkest Art_ mentioned the possibility of diminishing returns; each was a half of a half of a half so on and so forth. There was no sure measuring method though, as nobody had dared to try before him.

If that was true, half of his soul was already lost to the Ether. The Ring would be the next biggest piece at a quarter; the Cup an eighth; the Locket an sixteenth; the Diadem a thirty-second; Potter a sixty-fourth; and his familiar a measly hundred twenty-eighth of what was left with his main soul being the largest of them all at fifty percent -highly damaged, shredded into equal parts of the Collection, but still a full half.

That . . . seriously messes _everything_ up. Only the sixty-fourth within Potter was actively draining magic from its surroundings, which wasn't nearly enough to power himself for a _Lumos_ forget anything else. Coupled with that were murmurings of Dumbledore having fumbled the Bindings of Potter's Core somewhere along the line, forcing a Maturity which would have overloaded the tiny fragment of himself.

For the first time since Halloween of eighty-one he felt a spike of fear. If Potter were to learn how to access that fragment none of his secrets would be safe; the boy would learn everything he had known on that fateful night. Every piece of magic; the Horcrux Collection; _everything_ would be laid before the boy of fourteen.

While Nagini slithered around to the cellar entrance, a new and very unpleasant thought emerged. As there was great uncertainty about the split pieces of soul being connected -mostly due to them trying to repair themselves and reunite-, could young Potter see into his mind?

Far more importantly, could he work the ancient protection magic to strike at him from a distance?

Pondering the pros and cons of leaving that tiny piece of himself within the boy would have to wait as his faithful familiar entered his private laboratory.

His smirk would have turned the hardest of constitutions as he gazed upon his latest project. His enemy had yet to realize that he had made a rather large tactical error at the World Cup within sight of one of his more faithful -and intelligent- followers. While he didn't trust himself at present to touch anything -blasted fine motor control being shot to hell!- he did supervise the work going on while Wormtail had cowered and attempted to carry out his instructions without delay or mistake.

Nagini lifted him up to a table, to which he rolled to the right a few times before his face stopped inches from a book. This was a modified book on _Necromancy_; if the Muggles could get a hold of it -and understand it, but that's a different kettle- they could advance their sciences decades. Instead of Inferi troops, which as undead were good for fodder though not much else and took ages to create, this method took living tissue and multiplied it rather quickly. As only one source was needed the rest of the lab could have -and had- been converted to the growing process.

Voldemort was tinkering with clones of his own.

If it hadn't been for his now-agent at Hogwarts seeing the effects an army of clones had on the battlefield he would have never even thought of attempting this. The results were surprising, even with two sources of material. One he was careful with, as that was from his agent; the other he experimented on, trying out different things as the source was usually close at hand.

Forty of sixty floor-to-ceiling tanks had a Peter Pettigrew in them, each rapidly maturing due to the infusion of a special cocktail. Included were micro-dosages of _Aging Potion, Polyjuice_ charged with Wormtail's own hair_,_ an _Everlasting Elixir_ and a stabilizer to hold it all together. The other twenty tanks had copies of his agent, each in their teens and nearing training stage.

Unlike undead hordes that marched forward -usually to their own destruction as nothing more than a distraction-, having this new ability to create -somewhat, he admitted to himself- smart and adaptable minions was what the Healer ordered.

Oh, the things he could do with this! Why, he could give his own forces alibis from the ears, being in thirty or so places at once. Then there was the mayhem aspect, as he pictured a hundred or so Bellatrix's running amok beside just as many Greyback's. It was a shame that his upper echelon forces that weren't in Azkaban had run afoul of the last Potter for there were some great lost opportunities.

Once he had a body back, Magical Britain was his!

But first, to get back to the fire as it was cold in the cellar. Blasted homunculus body!

_**1100; Same Day; The Room; Hogwarts**_

"Are you out of your bloody minds?!" shrieked Hermione, shaking her right fist at a barely dressed Angelina and Alicia. The pair had finally rebooted their brains from their romp with Harry and were looking abashed as the chewing-out commenced. "Do you have any idea _-any idea at all!-_ what the two of you have done?!"

"Harry is the last of far too many Houses," Luna appeared to be the calmer of the two, that was until one looked at her hair. Instead of the normal scraggly look her blond locks were puffed out like an angry cat giving her what looked like an afro. "Any intercourse with a witch resulting in him finishing within her vaginally _guarantees_ pregnancy. It matters not your cycle, potions, charms or any other attempts to prevent it. This not only makes him a father before fifteen -no, don't even speak- but also ruins your own Maturities for he cannot perform the Ritual on a pregnant witch."

Harry, while the yelling occurred on the other side of the room, had gone into shock on the bed; laying there, nude and forgotten. Then the brood set in, for he bloody well knew better and let his hormones drive his actions. Creating life wasn't the issue; he was all of fourteen years old and had no idea what he was supposed to do now. The problem was amplified a few times by other circumstances, such as his upbringing with the Dursley's; having no male-father figure to talk to -stupid Godfather losing his mind when he should have done his duty!- and not knowing anybody else that had been in a similar situation.

It would mess with his health, he knew, but touching the girls at Hogwarts was sounding like a strict no-no in his book. He knew they wouldn't be happy with him but he figured he could use this incident as a point of reference as to why he'd only do anything with Penny or Tonks until graduation.

After the brood had run a couple laps around his mind, a sense of building excitement began. It had nothing to do with House Restoration but with the fact that he was getting one of his deepest desires. Where's that blasted Mirror when he has what he wants?! He'd show that piece of junk who was boss around here!

Excitement was crushed by responsibility. He was getting ahead of himself again, which was part of what let to this situation. As a matter of reflection, he used the feeling to annihilate the Brood as he took the current goings on as a learning experience.

Dread settled in when the word 'parents' drifted into his ears, making him want to hide somewhere remote with limited access. If there was one thing all teenage boys feared -even subconsciously- it was the future In-Laws. It didn't matter if one was in a relationship at the time or not; every boy met the parents of every girl at some point and left with thoughts of gruesome death implanted in their minds.

Teenage boys that get teenage girls pregnant had double the fear as the parents of the girl would go off on her being too young at the age of forty forget sixteen.

While his mind traveled in circles, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do now Daphne and Tracey decided to be bold as a Gryffindor for a change. They knew that eventually the Elitist/Extremists and their children would begin harassing them and wanted something to show for it.

The best friends casually moved over to the bed, taking in that Harry wasn't aware of his surroundings. What he was feeling or thinking they couldn't decipher, which was different from the usual wearing of the heart on his sleeve. Both took notice that while his brain might not have noticed their presence another part of him did, jutting proudly from his pelvic region -not that it had gone down in the twenty minutes since its last usage.

_**[EDITED TO CONFORM TO FANFICTION . NET RULES]**_

"That was . . . awesome!" Parvati panted, leaning forward in her conjured chair. Her arms supported her upper body by bracing herself against her legs which were twitching as her body calmed down.

"I can't wait for my turn!" her sister Padma agreed, in a similar pose. The difference between the two was that her hair had fallen about her face hiding her expressions from the world for the moment.

"You cannot be ready for more," Hermione had managed to get through the event without so much as a whimper, touch or twitch. Instead, she focused her entire attention on Harry and the fact that while he had just finished a round with two _more_ girls at the same time his manhood did not flag in the least. That's not to say she wasn't randy in the least, oh no. She was trying to maintain her old _'prim and proper'_ visage and doing a decent job of it.

"Nargles, Snorkacks and Wrackspurts . . . oh my!" Luna was gone. There was no other describer of her mental state as she replayed the event over and over again. She too had managed to not do anything, although her body was protesting that to the extreme as certain areas ached.

_**Same Time; Riddle Manor**_

"Oh; blast that boy!" Voldemort lost control of his rudimentary body again as another wave of pain hit. Whether Potter had figured out the piece of soul and the protection magic to strike at him from afar mattered not. The situation was unacceptable as it was; doing nothing was worse while being able to take care of the problem had its' own pitfalls.

"Master!" Peter returned from his errand, looking haggard from the journey. As he only had to venture to the entrance of the cave -but not enter it- returning quickly was all that mattered. "Nobody has been near the cave as far as I can tell and the agent at Hogwarts will be back in touch with us in two days."

"Goo-! Argh, damn it; good Wormtail," the homunculus wheezed, rolling around in the chair trying to dull the pain. "I need feeding; add fourteen extra drops of venom from Nagini and seven drops of _Pain Relief_ into the cocktail. There is a new problem that you may have to take care of if our agent cannot."

Peter Pettigrew was many things; an effective field agent wasn't one of them. He had enough brainpower -fueled by his fear of the Dark Lord- to voice nothing lest he be deemed useless. With the current shortage of people though, it was inevitable that he would have to go out to do his Master's bidding. He was also smart enough to catch the hidden statement; if the agent at Hogwarts failed his task then Peter would have to infiltrate the school again.

Under Dumbledore's nose was a scary enough thought. The idea of running into Harry Potter resulted in him needing new drawers. The boy, according to word on the street, had gotten _powerful_ in a quick order and was in the process of learning how to use it properly. That, and the agent had reported that Potter had a fascination with fire now.

Rats and fire never mix.

"At once," the man that could be a rat shuffled out of the room, leaving his Master to writhe in more pain.

_**1300; The Room; Hogwarts**_

"Right," now that lunch was over, Harry decided he was going to hunker down and get some of the things he wanted to do today done. Losing half a day was not conductive to what he had in mind but the way he lost it offset his frustration in that regard. Angelina and Alicia were not present, instead holed up in the girls showers of Gryffindor Tower trying to get all of his essence out of themselves. Whatever happened with those two he would take with his head held high.

"For the rest of the day, I'd like those of you who were here last year to give me an overview," he continued after a pause. "I did as much cramming as I could at home and want to see if I got it right or cocked it up. Most of that is going to be practical, thus why I said be ready to get dirty."

Hermione and Luna were sporting evil smirks, which set off alarm bells in his head. Knowing that they were upset with him -they had given the other half of the tango the what for already- he said nothing and prepared to defend himself.

Eleven witches took on a single Harry Potter and were promptly owned. Only Astoria sat out of the practice, being a Second Year she hadn't learned half of what the others knew yet.

He didn't even need to pull out his cloning ability as his sheer power overwhelmed their shields -which he frowned at, as they would cast them then just stand there like a target. Katie tried a _Tripping Hex_ which he rolled his eyes at, batting it aside with aplomb before he retreated a bit and brought out the fire-whips.

"What the devil did you learn last year, nothing?!" he bellowed as the whips snaked through the air. "I said come at me, not pussyfoot this session and waste my time! Come on, bring what you have!"

The level of their spell-work improved slightly, now entering the _'if that lands it's going to hurt'_ range. His stern visage stayed in place even as his eyes lit up at the higher difficulty rating of the challenge.

"Good!" he barked, twisting the left-hand whip to take the hair off of the right side of Su's head. "But you need to do better! If this is the Third Year curriculum then Magical Britain as a whole is in trouble! Now, stop trying to hit me and _hit me!_"

Su Li had paused briefly as her hairstyle was changed from across the room, before she saw red and fired the strongest _Bombarda Maxima_ she could. The spell drained her completely, causing her to faint as soon as it left her wand.

"Whoa!" Harry dove for cover, letting the dangerous piece of magic sail over his head. "That's more like it! Somebody want to move her so she doesn't get trampled?"

Dinner time was approaching, according to the _Tempus_ that Harry had set to hover continuously in a corner. Only Pansy of all people was still on her feet, giving her all to land a blow on the boy that had yet to show signs of being tired. The others were sprawled out on the floor away from the combat zone, watching as the two traded spells.

"All right, last one," Harry motioned Pansy away from the area in front of him, before requesting that the spell he was about to launch be sent into the Forest in an unpopulated area.

"By the end of the year, you should be able to cast this," he addressed the girls before turning to the now open-to-the-outside wall. _"Rpom!"_

Students all over the Castle felt the tremble, rushing to the nearest windows and entrances to see what was going on now. Over the tops of the trees a cloud of dust rose into the evening light as bits of wood rained down on the grounds. The Staff went berserk, not knowing what was happening within the Forest or if Hogwarts was under attack.

"Back; back I say!" McGonagall thundered, shooing the students off of the front lawn and back inside.

In the Room, there were twelve slack jaws and one smug look.

TBC

Right, there we are. Real Life will be getting in the way for this old man is . . . going back to school. Hurray. So, expect the usual slow updates.


	10. What Lurks Beneath 1

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Ooh, look out! I'm starting yet another fic, simply because the concept wouldn't leave me alone. Standard OOC, AU, Cross, Weird from me. Yes, this is most likely the oddest fic I've ever produced.

What Lurks Beneath

By: Driver Jim Ohki

The last person in the world thought to have need for a vehicle of any type had been roped into acquiring one by his mother. Her logic had actually been sound for a change, instead of her usual one-track 'my way or die' approach. She had justified it to him that while his usual method of movement was good for himself and his friends, any future family wouldn't have such a luxury until they had been properly trained. She had even stressed the properly trained, taking into account the methods used to increase the skill level of her son.

The duo of mother and son had taken the train to the outskirts of Tokyo proper, where the dealers had set up shop. Close enough to attract business yet far enough away to deter those that had the desire to simply burn money on a vehicle that would add to the already congested roads. As with every other vehicle dealer, this one specialized in everything compact and ridiculously small.

"Greetings," warmly said the salesman as they entered the lot, taking in the sights of what was available. "Take a look around and when you're ready let me know."

The pair nodded in their gratitude at the greeting and that this was one of the rare salesmen that applied no pressure to make a decision in the purchasing of a rather expensive piece of machinery.

"So son," began Nodoka Saotome, "With all of those lovely girls you have, which one do you think would work best for you?"

Ranma gave her the same half-lidded look he had been since this idea was brought up two months ago. Granted, a small part of him could see the logic in having a vehicle for such purposes as running to the market and whatnot, the thing that really had him sold on this was that it irritated his father to no end. He wouldn't admit it, but the future family logic had worked as well. He knew that roof-hopping with any children he might have would be a bad idea, especially if they chose a path that was not the Art.

Money was not an issue, however the fact that anything around Ranma could be destroyed at any moment by the fiancées or the rivals in one of their epic battles demanded that they shop the used car market, looking for something cheap and easily replaceable. That and the insurance companies had gotten wind that he was looking into doing something normal like driving, and were refusing to insure a vehicle worth more than a single month's rent in a condo downtown.

"Lemme look around a bit ma," he finally answered the question asked of him while scanning the lot.

Nodoka looked ready to correct his linguistic skills, only to stop herself. When he was stress-free, Ranma actually spoke civilized. However, when he found himself in a situation that was beyond the norm he reverted to his old slang style of speech. Therefore she let it go for now, as this was definitely something that was outside of his expertise.

Every vehicle appeared to be as plain Jane as possible, not one of them bigger than a Honda Accord. Oh sure, the colors varied but beyond that it looked like a lot full of clones.

One in the back caught his attention. It looked as if somebody was trying to hide this one, as it was covered by a tarp and only partially sticking out from the back of the building. Walking over to it, he lifted the car cover and smiled.

"Perfect!" he exclaimed, even as the salesman and the owner of the lot came running over to get him away from that particular car.

"NO, no, no, no, no, no!" screamed said owner, a portly man in his fifties. "You most certainly do _NOT_ want that car!"

"Yes, these over here are more your type," agreed the suddenly nervous and pushy salesman. He made a grab for the arm holding up the tarp while the owner was busy putting it back in place. The only problem that they encountered with their plan was whom they were dealing with.

Ranma leapt up and over the car, taking the tarp with him. The car was fully uncovered, revealing a black and white Ford Mustang Saleen that had apparently been used as one of the vehicles in a movie. Though he'd obviously never heard of which movie this car had been in, he was content with how cool it looked.

"Are you certain, son?" asked Nodoka, eyeballing the car that she felt was glaring at her. She was about to join the side of the distraught owner and salesman, but changed her mind with the excited look her son gave her. He'd been so opposed to this, and now was apparently wanting to go at it with gusto. The questions of a sports car, American built no less, of this caliber being in such a dealer's lot vacated her mind.

"Well, too bad. We've tried everything but this thing is apparently dead," chuckled the owner of the lot, wishing he'd stop putting off calling for a tow truck to haul this thing as far away from his person as he could. Preferably to the piers of Tokyo Harbor and dumped into the bay.

"Really?" Ranma said without the enthusiasm that he'd just had. Not that it stopped him from opening the driver side door and slipping into the seat. Taking a look revealed that the key had been left in the ignition. He tried to start it, only to receive no response from the car. He sat there for a moment, thinking that this one chance to have something that looked so cool was slipping through his fingers. Concentrating, he infused the car with his ki in a vain last ditch effort.

Nodoka, the salesman and the owner were getting into a heated argument when the car roared to life behind them. The three adults gawked at the boy, missing the faint blue aura as his pulled his ki back into himself. They watched as he sat there, cackling like a madman at the success of his efforts before looking back in their direction.

"All right, how much?" he calmly asked, capturing their attention. In doing so, they missed the spray paint that had covered the logos being melted off, revealing English characters on the rear quarter panels.

"_To punish and enslave . . ."_

"What a deal!" Ranma was ecstatic as he slowly drove the behemoth back to the Tendo Dojo. People seemed to fear the black and white monstrosity rolling down the streets, many of the other drivers pulling off and making room for it to rumble on by. He figured that he'd get the car out into the countryside sooner or later and could see what it could really do then, for now he was content to listen to his mother as she gave him driving lessons.

"Yes it was," Nodoka replied half-heartily, her mind going around in circles. When the car had come to life, the owner was taking a ridiculously tiny amount to get the thing off of his lot. He'd sold it for the low, low price of thirty-two thousand four hundred eighty four yen . . . or three hundred American dollars. A pittance for the Saotome coffers, and it bothered her to no end that the duo at the dealer seemed overjoyed to be rid of the foreign vehicle.

Ranma had fallen silent, both concentrating on what he was doing and trying to figure out just how he was going to keep this element of his life under his control. The fiancées were going to be more demanding of his time now, using his ride as a grocery getter and all around excuse to occupy his time. The rivals would think that destroying the recent addition to his life would open the door to getting their stupid ideas of revenge on his person.

Nabiki . . . ooh, such bad thoughts of just what she would do to rope him into doing her bidding with the car. He'd noticed the add-on paint that had flaked or melted off, revealing all of the logos along the sides of the vehicle. While his English sucked, he could make out the numbers _643_ just in front of the rear tires.

He'd also thought he'd heard the car itself grumble and groan from time to time, as if it was complaining about something. He wrote it off for the time being, instead focusing on the other problems in his life.

It was just a couple of minutes more to the Dojo when Ranma caught sight of Nabiki walking home, engrossed in her ledger for the day's activities. He thought about his avenues available to him. He could either gun the engine, earning the wrath of his mother. He could spook the middle Tendo by squawking the siren. He could simply cruise on by, pretending to not notice her. Or, he least favorite, he could stop and pick her up. Fortune favored him for the moment as his mother had yet to see the middle Tendo as she was busy poking at the built in laptop trying to figure out the functions.

He withheld his temptations to scare Nabiki, instead pretending that he didn't see her. Since she was busy with her ledger, she apparently didn't take stock of the black and white car that had just driven by her nor the people inside said car.

The ride home having been uneventful, minus the odd grumbling of the car, boosted Ranma's confidence that just maybe he could keep this newest element of his life under control. Yeah, the Avatar of Chaos had a dream . . .

Pulling up to the front gate of the Tendo property, the Saotome duo were promptly greeted by a mallet landing _very_ heavily on the hood. Ranma was quick on the take, infusing the car with his ki again to prevent as much damage as he could. When the mallet was lifted, he couldn't help but grimace at the circular dent that the weapon had left behind. The car seemed just as surprised, letting out what sounded like an impromptu grunt of pain.

"Whatdija do that for?!" he screamed at fiancée number one, known in the area as Akane Tendo. She was taken aback by the level of violence that was simmering under the surface as her fiancé leaned out the window giving her a piece of his mind. She was about to make another one of her great snidely remarks when his mother exited the car from the passenger side looking none too happy at the moment.

"Yes child, why did you strike my son's car?" questioned Nodoka in the way only an aggravated mother could, eyes narrowed and hand on katana. Oh wait, that look only works for her.

Akane sputtered at this point. She'd been gearing up for rant eight-twenty, '**You've been out with those hussies and even got yourself arrested**', when the target of her ire proved otherwise by sticking his head out the driver window, and then became embarrassed when the mother of said target stepped out of the vehicle demanding her own explanation. She dealt with the emotions the only way she knew how, by becoming angry at the target again.

"YOU JERK! TO THINK, I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" she screamed at him, hefting the mallet for another swing.

Barricade was flabbergasted by the events taking place in front of him. His processors were going haywire trying to understand the behavior of the humans around him.

He'd wound up in Japan after Starscream had, true to form, fled the planet and the solar system after the defeat of Megatron. The battle with Bumblebee had left him severely damaged, and thus he'd needed a place to lay low until reinforcements arrived. He'd kept track of the goings on with the Autobots by hacking into the human defense network, and upon discovering that they were staying he decided that a different continent would do for a hiding place. The island chain that made up this country was even better, since the Autobots couldn't gain access to it without coming by ship or plane, meaning they would have to go through the government for permission to enter their lands.

He had been offline in that sales lot for six months, conserving what power he could with his secondary Energon line severed. If he stayed in this alternative mode, the line would kink on itself pinching off the loss of what goes for blood for his race. Then the young man that had acquired and driven him home had appeared, infusing him with enough power to enter a state just above stasis. Transforming was out of the question until he could be repaired, thus all he could do was sit back and watch what happened.

He nearly laughed at the destruction and general mayhem around him, knowing that he didn't have to lift an appendage to do it. Sure, his attachment Frenzy would really get a kick out of these humans as a battle waged in front of him.

Speaking of, seeking shelter might be a good idea. At least, that's the thought the zipped through his primary processor as a sword tried to insert itself through the right front fender. Tried, as in the human forged weapon really stood no chance against Cybertronian armor. Of course, if they figured out what he was he had to keep an eye out for soldiers carrying those damnable Sabot rounds.

Ah, to be a Decepticon . . .

Barricade had plenty of time to replay the battle through his processors. He'd lost sight of the free-for-all after winding up in his current predicament.

If the rest of the fleshlings ever trained themselves to fight like he had just witnessed, then they would easily become a galactic power of their own accord. Being a melee fighter, he had been more than impressed with the skills that were demonstrated. A small processor, one that he rarely listened to, was generating what could only be described as pride at the fact that his 'owner' was the best. Not that it stopped the one with the bandana from somehow exploding the street.

The street that had been under his tires. Now, as he dangled upside-down in a tree, the only objectives he could complete were reviewing the fight and attempting to utilize the human internet to locate the files on these people.

He actually gotten through the ones pertaining to those that were in the fight minus the boy called Ranma. He'd been sidetracked when the 'sisters' of that girl that had a temper to match his wandered by, not even sparing him a glance as they conversed. After catching their names, he also looked up their files on the greatest friend to a Decepticon.

Yes, he Googled them. Frenzy had introduced him to Google, the search engine being a virtual cornucopia of information on every subject matter.

Then he tried to assimilate Ranma's file. His primary processor blue-screened, causing a complete system failure and reboot. He tried again with the same results, quickly becoming infuriated with the lack of speed that usually accompanied such assimilation. It appeared that he was going to have to do it the old fashioned way, one bloody page at a time.

So engrossed in the early stages of Ranma's life was he, that he missed said young man returning home. He was covered in soot from some type of explosive, and bleeding from numerous cuts that covered any exposed flesh . . . nor was he a male.

"Now how am I going to get you down?" came a female voice, bringing Barricade back to the here-and-now. Instead of the expected 'he', there was a buxom red-head standing at the base of the tree looking up at him. His processor blue-screened again as the life-signs emitted by the girl were almost an exact match for the boy that had 'bought' him.

The rhetorical question was answered by the branch that had been precariously balancing the car in its upside-down state finally succumbing to the weight and stresses placed upon it. The tree flipped the car on the way down, putting the tires down to land heavily from a distance of ten feet.

"Ah man, they did a number on you," the female continued her monologue as she looked over the body, taking in every scratch and dent. Fortunately, nothing had broken during the fight or subsequent flight into the tree. She placed her hands on the hood, attempting to store some of her ki into the vehicle to prevent future damages.

Ranma was surprised when instead of storing ki like any inanimate object should, the dents and scratches disappeared. She kept the power transfer going, trying to understand the situation as it presented itself now. So engrossed in her work was she that she failed to notice the approach of the last person she wanted near her car.

"Ooh, what do we have here?" cooed Nabiki, taking in Ranma with her hands still on the hood of the police vehicle. Instead of making the snide remark of 'about time', she took in just what her erstwhile brother/sister-in-law was doing. Her powers of observation noted the blue aura enveloping both, and her keen mind deduced that he was strengthening the car via her own energies.

"Great," grumbled Ranma, before turning her voice up. "Uh, hello Nabiki. Nice day isn't it?"

The delaying tactic wasn't going to work, and both females knew it. Nabiki walked around the car as Ranma had finished with his ki transfer, looking it over nose to tail. Her English was exponentially better than Ranma's, so as she took in the logos stenciled on the body she couldn't help but wonder if this was a practical joke.

"Where did you get this?" she asked, her fingers lightly tracing the left rear fender. The car felt warm; a warm that she couldn't wrap her mind around. Being one that doesn't liked to be touched, she was in the dark for the moment.

"At the dealer, where else?" countered Ranma, keeping an eye on what the middle Tendo sister was doing. Since she had just infused a great deal of ki into her car, she could feel the light touch of Nabiki. Right now it felt like she was caressing her hip, and to the neo-female it felt incredibly strange. Part of her mind liked what she was feeling, even if it was indirectly caused by feedback in her ki. Another part felt that the touch was getting a wee bit intimate, causing her whole body to shudder. When Nabiki's fingers trailed over the truck lid, the feedback responded by shifting from her left hip to her hind end.

"WHOA!" she exclaimed, leaping up and away like she had actually just been touched. Ranma was seriously confused now, not understanding the signals her body was sending her brain. The male part of her brain was chanting certain doom, awaiting punishment for such thoughts and feelings.

In the meantime, Nabiki had stopped what she had been doing. Her right hand rested lightly on the deck lid as she eyeballed the red-head and her surprising reactions. Something was amiss here, and she was going to get to the bottom of this mystery even if it hurt Ranma.

While the two humans battled their minds for answers, Barricade was in heaven. First the transfer of life-energy had acted like several doses of potent High Grade Energon, bringing with it a sense of peace and tranquility. Oh, he held no illusions that he was going to feel this later when the effects wore off, leaving what the humans dub a hangover. Yes, he was drunk. As it turns out, Barricade is a happy drunk. Whenever his systems enter this state, he would mellow out and just enjoy being alive. It had been many centuries since the last time he'd unwound as it were, so this was bliss. It got even better when that Nabiki began her caressing of his shell. It had been even longer since he'd last felt the touch of a femme in such a manner, and when combined with his drunken state it was pure ecstasy.

"Oh my, what is this?" chimed in Kasumi, breaking the moment. Not that it mattered as she set herself to the task of duplicating her sister's actions with both hands. Her fingertips danced along the front passenger door and the light bar on the roof, her mind processing how warm the car felt.

While the sisters entertained themselves with a Saleen edition Ford Mustang, Ranma slipped away to get warm water from the house. He could feel the ministrations of the sisters from the kitchen, and didn't even want to know who was touching where. Being raised as he had been, he was unfamiliar with the touches of friendship let alone anything more intimate like the caress of lovers.

Something beyond strange happened then. After having changed back to male, his desires to know what was happening to him manifested in the connection he'd left behind in his ki. Before he knew it, he had 'downloaded' the information from somewhere. His mind nearly shut down from the influx of information before setting to task of sorting it out. His seldom-used intellect came online, digesting the relevant information and disposing of the garbage. His understanding of females skyrocketed, along with the understanding of what they wanted with him. His self-esteem got a booster shot from the knowledge, and thusly doors had been opened.

Doors to being more human than a tool to be used by people; to being more than a fighting machine with a one track mind.

He came back to the waking world to discover himself in the restroom. How he'd gotten there he had no idea, however the feedback from his ki was telling him that the sisters were still caressing his car. Which one was touching where he had no idea, nor did he care. All he could process was that it felt good, and was generating responses to his male self. He felt that a good cleaning was in order, and thusly he set to the task.

Outside, the elder sisters Tendo had discovered that the car was warm like a human body from bumper to bumper. Nabiki was the first to try laying on the trunk lid directly, having leaned over the right fender. Her clothing did temporary block the warmth that the car offered, but not for long. The analytical part of her mind was chastising her for doing something so foolish as to lay on the car like it was a giant stuffed animal, however the long-suppressed inner child wouldn't be denied. She had to admit that it felt nice, while her mind tried to block the sensations originating in her breasts.

Kasumi was no better off, having climbed onto the hood. She had seen her sister's interesting pose considering the paintjob, and decided to try it. She had an extra layer of cloth between her and the car in the form of her apron, but it only delayed the heat reaching her for a couple of seconds. Her inner child was elated in doing something that had been denied to it for the longest time. She didn't care if it looked foolish or not; only the warmth mattered. She embraced the sensations generated by the car, along with the random thought or two about the owner of the car.

Both young women looked up at the house at the sound of a muffled roar but didn't move from their positions. It had been a long time since either had heard such a roar so it took them several moments to connect the dots. The car had warmed up at the same time the sound traveled to their ears, as if responding to the owner's sense of relief.

If Barricade thought he was in heaven before, he'd just discovered absolute Nirvana now. He wasn't certain what had happened at first, being in his mellow state. The sensations of the two females was incredible, even if they were human. He knew they were squishy, but hadn't even had the process that because of being organic they could feel this . . . _good_ was the only descriptor available. He'd felt it when his 'owner' had somehow accessed his communications systems and downloaded a good chunk of information on the gender of the two now laying on him. That mystery could wait for later as a new sensation originated from the boy as he'd cleaned 'until it went off' as it were.

The results hit with the force of two asteroids colliding. It almost spoiled the rare good mood that he was in, however still being in the drunken state that his race encountered when fed pure energy dampened the blow. He did set a note in his systems to check his spark at a later time, when he was alone and not buzzing from so much tingly power.

"What are you doing?" demanded the voice of Akane, having wandered into the scene at that point. Just the sound of her voice grated on his wires, and he was tempted to turn off his audio receptors. He most certainly didn't want that one near him, let alone in physical contact.

"So warm . . .," said a euphoric Kasumi, before realizing that she had indeed been spoken to. After righting herself and suppressing the urge to groan at the loss of the warmth, she turned to her youngest sister. "Akane, do you know where Ranma found this car?"

That topic was not what she wanted to talk about, and Akane made her displeasure known in a heartbeat.

"Like I really care," she seethed, mallet materializing in her left hand, "what that pervert does or where he gets more junk to clutter the streets with."

Said young man had walked outside, feeling great for the first time ever. That feeling didn't last long as he heard what his supposed fiancée had said, bringing the world down on his ears. The hurt quickly gave way to rage, mostly from him but some of it coming along his new connection to his car.

"Junk?!" he yelled, gaining the attention of the sisters. "Forget the attacks on me for a moment, just where do you think you get off rating my car as junk?! Clearly, that is _not_ the case. Do you have any idea how much that vehicle goes for in the States? More than you'll ever see in yer lifetime!"

Akane was surprised by the outburst, her mind trying to come up with something to defend itself with. Anger wasn't working as she took a second, much _harder_, look at the Saleen. Ire suddenly came unbidden as she saw the potentials for disaster that followed the boy on a regular basis, especially with something that could outrun just about everything in Japan . . . except some of the street racers.

"You know what? You can take that car and shove it up your ass!" she cursed, her mind having come up with so many variables to the daily chaos that she almost became ill. "You'll just use it to attract more floozies, and do hentai things with them in the back! I'll have no part of it! The engagement is off, and this time for good!" Her sisters having scrambled for cover at the overactive imagination of her, Akane had a clear path to launch the mallet at the windshield.

The sisters were surprised when Ranma demonstrated his superior speed by intercepting the object before it could cause any damage. He said not a word, instead leveling his version of a glare on his now ex-fiancée. After crushing the mallet, making certain to do it in plain view for intimidation factor, he turned to the elder sisters.

"Akane!" said a scandalized Kasumi, her voice a few decibels louder than normal, "What is the matter with you?! Ranma gets something that resembles normalcy, and you go and do that!"

"Why are you defending him?" countered Akane, her eyes betraying the hurt she felt at the apparent abandonment by her eldest sister. "You know as well as I do that nothing around him will ever be _normal_! In fact, if he dropped off of the face of the Earth the world would be a better place!"

"That's enough, _little sister_," commanded Nabiki, her brows furrowed in unhappiness. Ranma might be slow on the take on anything outside of martial arts, but he did have feelings. She herself had boundaries, up to and including making certain he didn't embarrass himself by crying. She knew she'd never live the guilt at such actions down, and it appalled her that anybody else would be so cold.

"No, it is _not_!" screamed Akane, in full rant mode. "The pervert has it all planned out, can't you see it?! The next thing you know, he's going to put on a police uniform and masquerade as one to get into any girls pants! I'd even bet that the uniform is in the guest room right now!"

Barricade sat there, taking in the argument that had erupted. He wasn't inclined to enter the fray, even if the hurt rolling off of his 'owner' in waves was angering the sentient car. He deleted the notes in his system about looking into his spark, as what he felt in his wires had confirmed his suspicions.

The boy had, against everything the Cybertronian race knew, bonded his life-force to the spark of the Decepticon. It was an optic opener to be certain, having the more 'human' side of processes and feelings traveling through his processors. His euphoric mood broken, Barricade was tossing around several avenues of action to take. The boy had power to spare, as it were, and his knowledge of combat was unparalleled. As he began to subtly sift through the information in the mind of Ranma, he tuned his receptors to the world out again.

Ranma was shaking. So many conflicting thoughts and emotions raced through his brain that he never noticed the alien probing for information. His subconscious did make a mental note of it, and filed it away for later. The most important thing he could think of was not crying until he could do so in privacy.

"Don't you mean, 'his' room?" questioned Kasumi, her emotions all over the place. She felt the pain of Ranma as she looked into his eyes, even from across the yard. She was sympathizing with Nabiki, feeling that this was beyond over the line.

"No I don't mean _his_ room," mocked the youngest sister, "because he is _not_ welcome in _MY_ house anymore! I'm going to do everything in my power to get the piece of garbage thrown out on the street, where _IT_ belongs!"

Ah, so there's the underlying problem. As the words were filtered, the only thing Ranma had to associate with 'it' was his curse. Even after all of this time, everything he'd done to protect her and keep her happy, the _condition_ still bothered her. Still, the words had the desired effect as the self-esteem boost from earlier was washed away.

"Look at what you've done!" exclaimed Nabiki as she pointed at Ranma. He was still shaking, his eyes closed as tight as they would go but it wasn't enough to stymie the flow. She became enraged for the first time since her mother passed on to the other side and directed her anger at the appropriate target.

"Please don't fight!" pleaded Kasumi as Nabiki took a swing at Akane. The two started to tussle about on the ground, ignoring her pleas to stop the madness. She looked at Ranma, whom was trying his best to keep the lid on his emotions. Her instincts kicked in, moving her body in his direction. When she was within arm's length, just her presence was enough to open the flood gates. Ranma latched on like a barnacle, openly bawling his soul out to the world at large.

There were other witnesses to the event. Just around the corner of the house, there stood Nodoka with her katana in hand. She had held the fathers and Ryoga at bay, wanting to see how this would play out. Normally, she would be at the forefront of the unmanly campaign as her only child cried into the covered bust of the eldest sister. Her instincts were conflicting with each other, thus leaving her with her current action as the only one available. They had all heard the words of Akane, and had all witnessed the effects they had on the young man.

"Get off of my sister, hentai!" screamed Akane after backhanding Nabiki into a tree. She didn't put her strength behind the blow as she didn't want to harm her sister, however it was still enough to wound the young woman. Placing that matter on hold, she launched herself bodily at the pair on the porch.

"Look out!" shouted Ranma through his tears, leaping up and over the house with Kasumi in his arms. He knew the attack was coming from the malicious aura that had permeated the yard and was able to take the eldest sister to relative safety. He was surprised to find the adults and a speechless Ryoga standing there, but put them out of his mind as Akane came barreling around the corner.

"That is _enough_!" bellowed Soun, his demon-head deployed for maximum effect. He was as surprised as the others when his youngest daughter ignored him in favor of her target. He'd barely begun to release Kasumi when he felt an impact to his side.

Silence saturated the area. Both teens were sent flying across the yard, Ranma shifting around to take the full impact with the wall so that Kasumi wouldn't be hurt. At the moment of impact, the world went dark for him.

Ryoga couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. He'd always been up to the task of trying to ruin Ranma's life, but this was over the top. Even his one-track mind had difficulties in seeing the pair hit the wall, before it collapsed in a cloud of dust.

"Grab her!" roared Nodoka, as scorned as a woman could get. This spurred the others into motion, as the three adults and one thoroughly confused boy tackled the out-of-control Akane. She struggled momentarily before her anger dissipated. She looked around in confusion, the previous events having drifted away with the anger.

Barricade had his processors set. Having opened his primary logic center to the boy while sifting for information, the bond was now absolute and complete. The risks were overshadowed by the gains, even as Ranma went into stasis from a quite solid impact. Hologram flickering to life, he broke through the front wall to get at Nabiki. He gently nudged the unconscious form before maneuvering himself to be able to pick her up with a minor transformation. Once she was secured in the back seat did he rumble around the house to the scene there.

The five on the ground were surprised to see Ranma's car come barreling around the corner, drive tires eating the grass as it slid in a spin before stopping by the pile of debris. They couldn't move as the car used a door like a shovel, gently digging the two people trapped underneath out. When the pair were uncovered, unconscious themselves, did the door lift them up and tilt inwards, 'sliding' them into the interior. The door returned to its previous configuration, and the car roared out the hole it had made in the front yard.

Akane shivered as the car drove past, the (unbeknownst to her) hologram firing off a powerful death glare . . .

People fled the sidewalk as the black and white police car barreled up to the door of Tofu's clinic. The doctor came running at the sounds of commotion, only to find the supped-up Ford sitting there with the light bar flashing its pattern. His concerns shifted when the car opened its driver side doors then leaned over, neatly depositing the bodies of three people on the walkway.

"Dear Lord, what happened?" he asked nobody in particular, the officer behind the wheel not offering an explanation nor climbing out of his car. Tofu was surprised when the car drove around the corner to the alley entrance, setting itself out back as if waiting for somebody. Clearing his mind of such trivial thoughts, he took stock of whom was literally deposited on his doorstep . . .

TBC

Okay, due to the surprising demand, I've written a full chapter for this fic. Things should get even more interesting from here. No, the bond will _**NOT**_ be leading to a slash story. Yes, the Autobots will make an appearance. That's all for now!

Ja!

Written in Jane Lew, WV.

Peace!


	11. What Lurks Beneath 2

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Please visit the poll at the top of my profile.

What Lurks Beneath, part two

By: Driver Jim Ohki

On the other side of the globe, events were transpiring at a fast pace. The business district of Las Vegas, dubbed Mission City for some silly reason, was completely closed off by the government following the 'battle of the 'bots'. The damages varied from building to building, some just needing minor repairs from flying debris (or the occasional wayward missile) while others were going to have to be completely rebuilt. The office building missing three floors had collapsed, along with the old cathedral. The streets weren't in much better shape, craters marking where a heavy object fell or something exploded.

Crushed cars littered the battlefield, along with those unfortunate people that had lost their lives in the battle. The government was hoping the populace would buy the cover story of an experiment running amuck and being stopped by the other half of said experiment but held no illusions. As soon as communications were restored to the rest of the world, the major news stations began broadcasting the battle for any and all to see.

The panic that those in charge feared never happened. It wasn't so much that the human race was ready for the truth as it was that they were more accepting of it. As word spread that the human race wasn't alone it put many things into perspective. Countries that had been at war with each other off and on for centuries put aside their differences, as even religious beliefs took a back seat to galactic affairs.

Of course there were those that believed otherwise; those that were unstable to begin with. They started screaming about the end of the world, being slaves to alien races and other such paranoia.

It wasn't until NASA sent a report to the media that the human race finally came together as one. They released the Beagle Two mission logs to the public along with images from Hubble. The mission logs did raise the ire of many, but that was quickly put down by those in power simply admitting they made a grievous error in judgment about the species as a whole.

The images from Hubble were more unnerving. From all directions, that weren't obscured by the sun, movement could be seen both within the Sol system and beyond.

One thing the humans were never told of was the Call. Optimus Prime wasn't asked and as a battle hardened leader he didn't volunteer the information that he had sent out the call to his kind that they had a new home . . .

-_(Nerima)_—

Ranma became animate to the sounds of the television. A quick diagnostic by his brain revealed that he hadn't been severely injured, just knocked out by the corner of a brick tagging his sleep point in his right shoulder at the base of his neck. Taking a look around, he spied the two other beds that had seen recent use but were now empty. Tossing aside the sheet, he breathed a sigh of relief to find his clothing still on his person. He stood up slowly, making certain to exaggerate his movements until he was positive that there wasn't a concussion. Taking small steps, he walked out of the patient room and into the back were the sounds were originating from. Occasionally, he could hear Kasumi and Nabiki talking over the television apparently discussing whatever it was that they were watching.

"_. . . latest images from the Hubble Telescope show at least three _thousand_ meteor sized objects on direct course to Earth with another hundred thousand of varying sizes behind those that haven't had their trajectory calculated yet . . .,"_ came the voice of the reporter as the images from said satellite were played in slide-show format.

"Wow," Nabiki couldn't believe it, and it manifested in her voice. "That looks like something straight out of _Armageddon_. I remember those four that came down in Los Angeles seven months ago, tore the city up something fierce."

"Oh my," chimed Kasumi, her mind having difficulties wrapping itself around the concepts presented to it. "What about what had happened in Las Vegas? Do you think it's more of those . . . robot things?"

"Could be," replied Nabiki as she turned back to the television.

"_. . .all major cities are on alert as early estimates have the objects coming down _everywhere_. The militaries are on alert for both rioters and the need for assistance to the populace when these objects land . . .,"_ the desk reporter read form the teleprompter, doing her best to keep her emotions under control like any professional anchor is wont to do.

"That makes sense," said Nabiki, her mind chewing on the information. "I heard of another Heaven's Gate cult somewhere and it makes sense to keep those loons away from the populace at large."

"Hi there," interrupted Ranma as he entered the room slowly, making his way toward the open spot on the couch. His mind didn't register that it was between the sisters as it was busy digesting the information itself. He had an uneasy feeling about those 'meteors' and it confused him. The feeling wasn't his own but that of his _car_, which should have no such feelings.

"Glad to see that you're awake," greeted Nabiki in return, her expression as neutral as ever. "Now, please tell me how we got here."

Ranma paused halfway in his act of sitting down to look at her, the confusion plain as day in his eyes. He knew by the smell alone that he was at Tofu's, but had assumed that Nabiki had brought him here. Seeing the bandage on the left side of her forehead changed that theory, and looking at a dirty Kasumi ruled that possibility out as well.

"I have no idea," he finally admitted, slowly shrugging his shoulders to emphasize his statement. "Last thing I remember was being walloped in the ribs before I could release Kasumi, then absorbing the blow with the wall."

"Well, I haven't heard from Father or Uncle Saotome so it couldn't be them that brought us here," added said young woman, her brows furrowed in concentration. She had been vaguely aware after getting buried alive and had the faint memory of something metallic lifting her out of the remains of the wall.

"_. . . effective weapon we have. We are supplying all of the militaries with Sabot rounds, which burn magnesium at six thousand degrees . . .,"_ the television droned on in the background as the three attempted to dissect their predicament. Granted, not one of them was _ungrateful_ per se at being taken to Tofu's. It was more a matter of who to thank for bringing them here than anything else.

"Huh, that's odd," commented Ranma as he watched the broadcast. "I hear words but they don't match the movement of his lips."

"Off-screen translator," Nabiki absently informed him, her mind giving him the virtual finger for bothering her with something so inconsequential to their current line of thinking.

"_. . . discovered in Las Vegas that Sidewinder's are effective as well. However, we have to inform the public to watch for a distinctly marked F-22 Raptor. It is NOT friendly to the human race, and takes a lot to bring down. If you see a plane on the ground with this symbol,"_ the screen changed from the press conference to a still of the Decepticon logo, which ended the conversation of the teens as it looked familiar, _"you are asked to inform the nearest authority and are advised _NOT_ to engage this hostile. Also, we are in search of a specific vehicle, a 2008 Ford . . .,"_ the screen and sound abruptly died, causing the three to yell in indignation as Tofu stepped back from the outlet with the power cord to the television in hand.

"Now that I have you attention," the kind Doctor said, looking cheerful even if the three in front of him were glaring daggers and not understanding what he had just interrupted, "you're all set to go home. You all got lucky that you only had minor injuries from the fight."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Ranma spit-fired, "Plug it in! Plug it in!"

Tofu looked confused by the request, as Ranma was not one to even want to watch the television but complied none the less.

"_. . . encourage everybody to look over their vehicles for the symbol shown earlier. Our intelligence has three known MIA on Earth with an unknown amount still out there in the galaxy at large . . .,"_ continued the man in the suit, even with the off-screen translator converting his words to Japanese.

"Doc, just how did we get here?" Ranma asked out of the blue, his mind churning for answers. One kept popping up as the Decepticon logo, but something just didn't seem right with that. If they were as hostile as the Americans were making them out to be, then the answer he kept coming up with couldn't be right.

"You were dropped off by a rather rude officer," answered Tofu, his eyes flicking towards the back wall. "He rolled up on the sidewalk, somehow tilted the car to somehow gently set you down then rolled around back without so much as a word."

"The car, did it have the numbers _643_ on the body?" asked Nabiki, her mind suddenly coming up with the same answers as Ranma's. She was as confused as he was now, and this being Nabiki says a lot.

"Yeah, in fact it's still . . .," he trailed off to the suddenly empty room, only the sound of the television keeping him company.

In the alley it was a different story. The three came barreling around the corner, only to find three of the four doors open. Barricade had hacked into the cable signal and had listened to every word. He didn't feel remorse, as that emotion had been deleted from his memory banks long ago. Instead, he felt that with his life now bonded to the boy he should at least explain things. Once the three were seated, he shut and locked the doors before taking off at high speed for the countryside.

-_(Tendo Dojo)_—

The only sound in the living room was the television as the evening news droned onto more mundane things. The parents, Ryoga and Akane were dumbstruck by what they had just heard. The confirmation of the battle in Vegas had been enough to silence the commentary that had been flowing back and forth between them.

The news that the Americans wanted to know the whereabouts of a Ford Mustang Saleen S281 police car caused the mental equivalent of the blue-screen of death. They had no photographical evidence of the car in question, only stating that eye-witness reports had identified the car by the numbers stenciled on the body.

_643_.

Akane slowly rose from her seated position and headed for the phone, making her movements look as natural as she could. The others were now arguing back and forth, the loudest voice being that of Genma. She ignored them, and silently sent out prayers that one of them wouldn't try to drag her into it.

Having reached the phone unnoticed, she picked it up and dialed the operator.

"Directory assistance, how many I help you?" came the male greeting, even as the argument behind her heated up.

"Please direct my call to the JSDF, I have information regarding that police car," she said, her mind quickly assembling a plan to get Ranma out of her life for good . . .

-_(North of Tokyo)_—

"This is different," commented Ranma as his car had come to a stop. The doors hadn't opened nor unlocked, however the windows had opened slightly for fresh air.

"No kidding, we've been kidnapped by _Christine_," quipped Nabiki from the back seat, through the built-in divider.

The drive to their current location had been uneventful if not entirely too fast for their tastes. The city was well behind them now for they were in the middle of nowhere for whatever reason the car wanted. They were surprised when the laptop shifted from the passenger seat to set itself in the center of the dash, the screen taking on a virtual face.

"Fleshlings," barked a loud voice over the radio speakers, almost sounding like it was screaming at them. "I brought you out here because you are now in grave danger."

"Waitaminute!" exclaimed Ranma, "Whatdiya mean, 'grave danger'?! What have I gotten myself inta now?!"

"Ranma, be patient," commanded Kasumi form the passenger seat. "If given the chance, he will explain everything."

"Yes," concurred the voice, the face on the laptop monitor bobbing up and down in agreement. "Silence your vocal processor and you will learn the information you seek. You, Ranma Saotome, are in the most danger, especially after you bonded yourself to me."

"What do you mean by 'bonded'?" asked Nabiki, taking his pause as an invitation to ask questions. The highest part of her analytical mind wasn't listening to the conversation however. Instead, it was chanting about having a conversation with a car.

"Just under seven months ago I was damaged in battle, effectively locking me in my alternative mode," he spoke after a moment, his voice toned down. "I tried to participate in the battle with the Autobots and humans in that city, however with me being unable to return to my root mode I fled. It had taken some creativity to get onto a sea vessel to come here. I'd made it as far as that 'dealer' before my systems off-lined from Energon loss. When you, Ranma, infused me with your life force the first time it rebooted and _reformatted_ much of my code. I was in a state just above stasis, which is comparative to your 'sleep'. When you did it again, it solidified the changes you'd made. The bond became permanent when I opened my primary processor and logic center to your energies in a quest for information."

Ranma was lost on much of the lingo, however he did have the gist of what the car was trying to convey to him.

"So that feedback I felt wasn't just from my ki that I'd given to you?" was the rhetorical question. It was obvious to the sisters Tendo that he was thinking out loud, a habit he had developed as the chaos in his life didn't give him time to pause and have an internal dialogue.

"You mentioned that he 'reformatted' much of your operating code," continued Nabiki. "Could you explain that to me?"

"During the war, the mech I followed committed an atrocity," explained the voice, still not giving his name to them. "Even those of us in his army felt that it was a _very_ bad idea, but Megatron silenced the protesters; he made 'examples' out of them. He ordered us to distract the Autobots while a selected few attacked Flotilla. They were under orders to terminate any and all sparklings, younglings, and femmes regardless of allegiances. After the attack, Megatron . . . _interfaced_ . . . with those of us that remained after the terminations and desertions and rewrote our root operating file to follow his orders without question. This was not something we willingly did, however it was that or return to the Matrix."

"Sparklings . . .," started to question Kasumi before putting two and two together. She gasped in horror before beginning to cry as the impact of the information hit her like a ton of bricks. Her proximity to Ranma returned dividends when she reversed their roles from earlier, latching on for all she was worth.

Ranma didn't quite understand what had upset the eldest sister until his thought processes finally decoded the word _younglings_. Children. Children from infants to those that were about to enter into full maturity. Beings that had yet to learn about much of anything, and now would never have the chance. Then _femmes_ was interpreted, and Ranma now understood the situation.

Not only had this _Megatron_ ordered the genocidal slaughter of the next generation, he'd included the producers of that generation.

"In retribution for the attack, Optimus Prime had launched the All Spark off of Cybertron in the vain hope that the war would end if the Cube was lost to us," continued the voice after a few moments, giving the eldest youngling time to recover her wits. "Megatron would have nothing of it, immediately taking off after the All Spark. He and the Cube had landed here on Earth, to which those few of us that remained after his reprogramming had come in search of our 'fearless leader'. It wasn't until seven of your months ago that Megatron and the Cube were both destroyed. The irony of ironies is that it wasn't an Autobot that had terminated him; it had been a fleshling. The human killed Megatron in front of Optimus Prime, earning the respect and eternal gratitude of the Autobots."

"Irony?" questioned Ranma while he held Kasumi. She had dozed off after her crying fit, which he felt was justified. He himself felt nothing but rage at the genocide of so many innocents.

"Megatron was going to use the All Spark on your technology, effectively rebuilding his army before using it to wipe the human race off of the galactic map," was the answer, straight to the point before continuing. "Your life energies have removed the programming done by Megatron. While I still feel no reservation in terminating humans and Autobots alike, they would have to do something to me first. I will no longer attack any-one or -thing 'just for sport' as you humans say."

"Just how deep does this 'bond' go?" asked Nabiki as her mind had dissected all of the data presented to her. She was still missing a few pieces to the puzzle, and was bound and determined to get her answers.

"I honestly do not know," was the curt reply. "I know we can communicate through our bond as young Ranma had demonstrated earlier by accessing my transceiver software and downloading information off of the World Wide Web. But enough for now, I shall return you to your domicile as your system star is going beneath the horizon and no doubt your pod is wondering where you have gone."

"One last thing," sleepily added Kasumi, "What's your name?"

The virtual face grinned for the first time, having taking a liking to the three younglings now inside of him.

"Barricade."

-_(Nerima)_—

"Are you absolutely certain?" demanded a Lieutenant of the JSDF, not quite believing what he had just heard. After receiving a phone call about the car the Americans were in search of, he'd informed his commanding officer who had informed his commanding officer who had informed the Minister of Defense who had informed the Prime Minister who had informed the Imperial Family. Even though the most the Family could do was give advice, their word became the orders for the mechanized platoon that had rumbled into the suburb of Nerima. Of course they were supplemented by the Air Force, as fighter jets screamed by overhead. Oh, and the Navy had deployed into Tokyo Harbor to bring the area into their effective weapons range. There was of course a legion of Infantry in the area, each soldier armed with forty-millimeter grenade launchers with sabot rounds for ammunition.

"For the umpteenth time, _yes_," growled Akane. She had been sequestered as soon as the JSDF arrived for questioning. They were taking this seriously, especially considering that they wanted to have this cleaned up before the _USS Ronald Regan_ arrived with their . . . guests. The Imperial Family had stressed that it was imperative to handle the situation before a recreation of _Robotech_ played out in the streets.

"Where is it?" barked a Major, whom had grown tired of the lack of information in regards to the target. The child's story had sounded unbelievable, however he had his orders to locate and destroy the sentient vehicle. It was bad enough that when the news broke the base went mad as every able body had been sent into the motor pool, checking each and every vehicle over for the 'Decepticon' emblem.

"NIHAO!" interrupted Shampoo, having ignored her great-grandmother's orders about staying away from the Tendo place while the military was afoot. "Where Airen? Take Shampoo on date now, yes?"

"Can it sugar," chimed in Ukyo as she entered the yard. Word had spread like wildfire that entire blocks around the Tendo Dojo had been converted into an impromptu military base and she just had to see for herself. Of course, with Ranma being her fiancée she had a plausible excuse for being in the area.

"What . . . who are these people?" wondered the Major, disbelief evident in the tone of his voice. The situation was tenuous as it was, and the addition of a potential hostile element was not good.

Before any orders could be barked about clearing the area of non-essential personnel, the Major received the shock of his life.

"You wanted to know where it is," she said, her voice in full monotone mode. Then she pointed to her right at the end of the street. "Right over there."

"Hey man, no worries," said Ranma as Barricade made his way back to the Tendo property. "I fully understand a tactical retreat. You saw a battle that was hopeless from your point of view and withdrew to live to fight another day. I do the same thing from time to time, ya know as a way to regroup and strategize for the next encounter."

The two had been talking the entire ride home, and Ranma had picked up on the distaste the car felt at not participating in the battle and what doing what he could to cheer Barricade up.

The mech was surprised by the insight of the human boy. He hadn't thought of his running from the battle to be a good thing. But when put that way, 'living to fight another day', the depression in his emotion center drained away. He was a melee mech, through and through.

"So, what do we do now?" wondered Kasumi as they rounded the last turn to the Dojo before Barricade came to a sudden stop. No words were needed as the three teens looked down the street at the imposing array of military might.

"What is Akane doing?" wondered the eagle-eyed Nabiki, having spotted the youngest sister talking to a couple of the personnel. Then to the horror of the three, she looked right at them before gaining the attention of the one on her left. After a brief exchange of words, she then pointed in their direction.

"Remember what I said about a tactical retreat?" asked Ranma as he leaned back in the driver seat, like it would add distance between them and the now alerted military. His answer was the car peeling out in a one-eighty and taking off in the other direction.

"I don't believe it," gasped out Kasumi, her mind having put the puzzle together first. "Akane must have seen the news and called the authorities. But why would she do that?"

"You know her, sis," commented Nabiki as the scenery whizzed by. "She been so set against the engagement that she saw this as a way out. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if Ranma was labeled a traitor to the State now and we're his hostages."

"What did I ever do to her?" wondered Ranma to nobody in particular. He knew his teasing was something that the youngest Tendo couldn't handle, but it was his way of showing affection. At least, that's the way he'd learned to do it from his father. He'd learned much in the time spent with his mother, including the proper way to show affection, however awkward it was for the boy.

"Part of it _is_ you," answered Kasumi, her tone brooking no argument. "However most of it is Kuno. You know that boy had done a number to her before you arrived in town, and since Father couldn't do anything about it except dump the engagement on us she felt powerless."

"Of course, little Miss Princess had lost her power," quipped Nabiki, using a nickname she hadn't in a long time. "Daddy spoiled her rotten, always letting her do whatever she wanted. Yet when she said no and he refused to budge, her 'power' flew right out the window. She's been screaming for years to be treated like an adult yet when we do she doesn't like it."

While the three argued, Barricade had hacked into the military radio frequencies and listened in on their conversations. Things didn't look to good at the moment, as a helicopter above constantly relayed their position. The ground units were easy enough to outrun, however those in the air were proving persistent. He made certain to never travel in a straight line for any length of time nor duplicate maneuvers while throwing in plenty of doubling back on his tracks.

-_(Tokyo Harbor)_—

When word had reached the Autobots that the Americans had clued the rest of the world in to their existence, they were almost to their destination. Having utilized the services of Glen Whitman, they hacked the bond node of Frenzy and located Barricade before shutting him down. They knew the mech was injured, however a simple recalibration fooled his systems into processing that it was much worse.

When a freshly minted General Lennox came storming onto the hanger deck of the aircraft carrier that was their taxi, the Autobots knew something had happened that was not part of the plan.

"I just received word from Secretary Keller," started Lennox without preamble, "that the JSDF has been alerted by a civilian to the location of Barricade and that he's operational."

"He's online? Oh, that can't be good," commented Bumblebee before receiving a look from Optimus that silenced him.

"Oh, that's not even the best part. He's apparently in league with a human boy named Ranma Saotome, and has taken two hostages . . . siblings, _sisters_ named Kasumi and Nabiki Tendo," growled the General.

"He dares to endanger femmes?!" roared Ironhide, his cannons springing forth and charging for maximum mayhem. He ignored the pointed look Optimus was giving him, instead focusing on his battle preparations.

"We must move quickly and capture Barricade," stated the Autobot leader, his tone indicating that there had better be a _very_ good explanation for anything else.

"It gets even better," continued Lennox. "The Imperial Family has expressed their desires to capture the Decepticon on their own . . . before you make landfall as they are _extremely_ nervous about an epic battle in downtown Tokyo."

"Bah, Bumblebee took him out once, he can do it again," came from Sam Witwicky. The boy was along for a plethora of reasons, including observation after having the All Spark disintegrate in his hands. His parents believed that he was on an educational trip to the Land of the Rising Sun under the guise of learning about the Japanese culture.

"They are a proud people," Lennox said, "Stubborn to a fault and having something to prove to my country."

"What would that be?" wondered Ratchet as he accessed and downloaded every byte of information on the subject at hand. The others were doing the same thing, until Optimus abruptly looked at Will Lennox.

"That was harsh, even by our standards," came from Ironhide. Megatron may have been evil and his sanity was in question, but he never did use anything of that magnitude.

"Not one of our shining moments, I assure you," supplied the General. "We _did_ ask them to cease fire numerous times before using weapons of mass destruction to get our point across."

"By Primus, _millions_ terminated with just two bombs?" was an approximation of a gasp from Ratchet. What was the worst, by his medical programming, was those that passed on years after, suffering the entire time from radiation poisoning. There were those that were blinded and scarred for life. Parts of the land were still uninhabitable as the ground had been sterilized and was still giving off a strong radioactive energy.

"Yes, well . . .," paused Will, before deciding to plow ahead. "If Mission City had gone differently, we would have used a nuke or two on the Decepticons."

"No worries, right?" pleaded Sam as the Autobots literally shook from the process. "It didn't happen, you guys made sure of that so there's no reason to even think about it, right?"

"Kid, honorary soldier you may be but you have a lot to learn," said a disappointed Lennox. "You've seen _Independence Day_ have you not? Now imagine us having to do that without the luxury of evacuating an entire city."

"Or worse, the Decepticons getting their appendages on those weapons," concurred Optimus, his logic center having a hard time wrapping itself around the concept of the sheer destruction that they could bring to the galaxy at large, let alone the rest of this Universe.

"You humans are a violent bunch," grumbled Ironhide, "But as Optimus said, you're a young species with much to learn."

"Hey guys, what's up?" wondered Mikaela Banes, having wandered off to use the facilities. She walked head first into a very depressed group of men and mechs and was wondering what she had missed.

"We got into a discussion about the end of World War Two," supplied her boyfriend Sam, his thoughts stuck in the realm of so many lost in the blink of an optic . . . or the flash of a nuclear warhead.

"Ah," she simply said, not wanting to restart a conversation that appeared to be over. Her saving grace in that regard was the alarm for General Quarters.

"_All hands to battle stations, repeat all hands to battle stations! Prepare for insertion into the piers of Tokyo Harbor_," came the voice of the ships' Captain over the internal address system. "_This will be a hot insertion, all fire teams to stations. All flight crews to stand-by status for assistance._"

"Autobots: roll out!" barked Optimus as he returned to his alternative mode. There wasn't much need for conversation beyond that point.

They had arrived in Tokyo . . .

TBC

Ah, such demand for more and more of this fic. Like I warned, it is heading into the realm of political intrigue. Obviously there's going to be doses of action, awkward moments, and general insanity.

Ja!

Finished in Des Moines, IA.


	12. What Lurks Beneath 3

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Please visit the poll at the top of my profile.

Rant: Okay, I had received complaints about my usage of the term "millions" when describing the death toll at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. What I base this on is not only the bombs, but the radioactive fallout. During that period of the war, census counts were highly inaccurate and voluntary on the part of the people. With entire families lost, the actual count will never be known. At most, three million people lost their lives both during the bombing and years later until "radiation poisoning" was identified as the culprit. As for sections of land being irradiated . . . atomic particles from plutonium alone have a half-life of twenty thousand years. Weapons grade uranium fifty thousand. Even the north-west corner of White Sands, the site of Trinity, is still hot with radioactivity. Yes, I paid attention in World History (at least when I wasn't asleep). Hopefully that clears the air on the matter. I apologize if it seems like conjecture and fact bending, but I can only go with what is known. Also, please bare with me as I use a lot of Generation One elements . . . of course, Wikipedia helped.

End of a rather lengthy rant, on with the fic!

What Lurks Beneath, part three

By: Driver Jim Ohki

"This is insane!" roared Nabiki as Barricade executed a left hand power slide before taking off in a random direction. Now they were entering downtown Tokyo, hoping to lose themselves in the crowd. Not that there was much chance of success there as the black and white American car stood out like a sore thumb.

"Are you going to let us go?" questioned Kasumi as she held on for dear life. Having never been in a vehicle before, she had no basis to comment on the driving ability of the sentient car.

"I would like nothing more than to get you out of me," replied Barricade, his voice strained from concentration. "However the pesky military doesn't seem to want to let me stop. Every time I try they shoot at us and I'm not willing to let you be terminated for their idiocy."

It was a true statement. Every time the car slowed down and looked like it was going to stop, one of the ground units would take a pot shot at him. Even though they were only warning shots, none of the occupants nor the Decepticon knew otherwise. All that mattered was they would open fire at every opportunity.

"All right, I've had enough!" barked Ranma as he manipulated the window controls. Finally getting his window open, he started to lean out of it while shouting, "Kasumi, brace my legs! These fools want to shoot at innocent people?! I'll show them a thing or two!"

"You idiot, what are you doing?!" demanded Nabiki as her sister complied with his orders. She could only watch, dumbfounded, as Ranma returned fire on their own military.

"MOKO TAKABISHA!" he roared, letting the chi-powered attack fly at a random tank. His shot missed, flying into a building and blowing a good sized hole in the wall. He recharged his attack, this time aiming at one of the helicopters that were being too persistent in their pursuit. He let the attack fly, and then quickly ducked back inside before yelling at Barricade, "GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!"

The sisters looked out the back window only to see the flaming wreckage come crashing down on top of an Armored Personnel Carrier, the ordinance in both exploding spectacularly.

"Okay, that was _not_ what I had in mind!" nearly screeched Ranma, his eyes wide in fear. Subdue but never kill, that was his motto . . . the only exception being Saffron. Now he'd violated his personal code of honor, and for the reason that he let his anger take control.

"Good going Ranma," deadpanned Nabiki as she started to pull on the interior door handle. "Let me out! I don't want to be a part of this madness anymore!"

"Negative," came the voice of Barricade, "We are traveling at high speeds. Attempts to exit now will most likely result in your termination."

"Nabiki, please calm down!" yelled Kasumi, tears in her eyes. "I'm scared!"

"We'll be all right. I have no idea how, but we'll be all right," comforted Ranma, his self-hatred taking a back seat to Kasumi's crying. He wrapped his arms around her, letting the motion of the car do the work of rocking them back and forth.

"Oh frag me," groused Barricade as he rounded the next turn only to encounter a wall of humanity. Traffic was snarled as the people attempted to flee the scene of the battle, while the ground forces were trying to plow their way through them to get at their target. He tried to out the way he'd come in, only to run grill to grill into a yellow with black racing strips 2009 Camaro. "Double the frag and add some slag."

It was a Mexican Standoff with a pair of cars. The 'drivers' of each stared at each other, not quite believing what they were seeing. Within moments the duo of vehicles were surrounded by the JSDF ground forces comprised of tanks and infantry.

"Argh, this isn't going so well," Lennox couldn't help himself, he had to repeat the line he used when fighting Brawl. At least this time he wasn't staring down a twenty foot tall mech that had more weapons than some small countries.

A Starbucks was converted into an impromptu command center. General Lennox and his Japanese counterpart were in the midst of issuing orders when Bumblebee arrived. They both paused, waiting to see what would happen next. General Takashi leaned over to one of his Lieutenants and whispered several orders.

Ranma exaggerated his movements when climbing out of Barricade, showing no hostile intent. The sisters weren't as calm as he appeared to be, leaping out of what they had thought was a car before freezing up from the sheer amount of weaponry pointed at them. Nabiki turned to Ranma –more than likely gearing up for a rant of epic proportions- when she let out a yell.

"GET DOWN!" came from her mouth as she dropped to the deck. Ranma and Kasumi complied, just seconds before the sounds of high caliber rounds whizzed by where their heads had been.

"What is the meaning of this?!" demanded Lennox when he saw them drop to the ground followed by small sections of asphalt spontaneously taking flight.

General Takashi, an old timer to be certain, sneered at the miss by his snipers before turning to his American counterpart. "Japan will return to its previous glory! There are those of us in the military and government that have been waiting for an opportunity like this! Even now, a detachment of my best troops are in the Imperial Palace, under the guise of 'security'. Our first objective is to eliminate the alien menace and _every single_ traitor to humanity that has ever been in contact with them."

"Oh yeah, bad to worse," muttered Will Lennox as he noticed that the Infantry had divided its attention between the Cybertronians and the small division of Marines. Then he smirked, holding up the cell phone he had been using. "Did you get that Mister Secretary, Mister President?"

"We most certainly did," came the voice of John Keller. He'd retained his position of Secretary of Defense instead of retiring at the end of the year like his plan had been.

Meanwhile, the sisters Tendo and Ranma had crawled to the nearest safe spot, which happened to be Bumblebee. He was more than happy to open his doors to admit them into his more-than bullet proof interior. If there was only one good thing about being in his alternative mode was that none of his most sensitive components were exposed . . . like his leg joints.

"Bee, what are you doing?" wondered Sam, himself trying to figure just what he was doing here. Of course, his guardian had his reasons but it would have been nice to hear them. Off in the distance, he could hear the exhaust noise of Prime's engine getting closer.

"_Who's this_?" questioned Nabiki, her voice breaking the boy out of his thoughts. Of course, he'd only heard the Japanese equivalent of the question and was thusly giving her a lost look.

Bee was ready for this, however. A quick jaunt through Wikipedia™®© via his link into the World Wide Web revealed the answers he needed. A download later and he was ready for action.

"_Please forgive my friend, he doesn't know your language_," came from the stereo speakers. "_My designation is Bumblebee, infiltrator for the Autobots. What's yours_?"

"_Designation? Oh, you mean our names_!" came from Kasumi as she fretted over the dirt on her otherwise immaculate house dress. "_I'm Tendo Kasumi, she's my sister Tendo Nabiki, and he's Saotome Ranma_."

The Autobot had to go back into the online realm to understand the greeting. Once he did, he started one of his nastier human habits by thinking out loud.

"_Hmmm . . . ah, I see. Family, or clan, designation first before individual unit identification. Much different from the Americans . . ._" he trailed off, suddenly remembering his manners. "_My friend is Witwicky Samuel._"

"Bee, since _when_ did you know Japanese?" demanded said young man, having picked proper names out of what sounded like rapid fire gibberish.

"I've known this language for sixteen of your seconds," was the rather smug sounding reply before he translated what the other three had said for his benefit.

"Okay, so just what did Barricade want with them?" asked Sam, his right eyebrow quirked upwards in a classic Spock Maneuver.

The question was translated, and they answered in earnest. Bee hesitated, then asked them to repeat themselves just in case he'd misunderstood the context of their words. Still unbelieving, he set a coded message to the Saleen in front of him.

**Is what they said true?**

Instead of returning the message, an Ethernet-style cable appeared from somewhere like an olive branch of peace. To those watching, the Camaro seemed to hesitate before the Chevy Bowtie on the grill opened like a trap door, revealing the connection port beneath.

"Are you certain about this?" wondered Sam, as he'd heard the story behind Bee losing his vocal processors to begin with. Something eerily similar had happened at Tyger Pax, with a much more violent mech.

The answer was obvious as the connection between the two was established. Data flowed back and forth as the processors synced with each other, before the temporary memory cache downloaded from Barricade into Bumblebee.

The transfer had just barely finished when the shooting started. Apparently the soldiers had been waiting for a particular order. Now that they had it, total chaos erupted. Both Cybertronians were pelted by bullets from every direction, forcing them apart lest the cable be severed while it was connected.

Ranma, having been in the front passenger seat, leapt out into the fray. Something had gone seriously wrong with the situation, and he was going to be damned if he let the sisters be harmed. It had become difficult to differentiate between friend and foe, so it was completely understandable when the next event transpired.

Ironhide came around a corner in his vehicle mode and was immediately shot at. Optimus, having set himself up next to the Starbucks, saw it and his engine misfired a few times. _Nobody_ shot at Ironhide with intent to kill and walked away. Sure enough, there he went into his root mode, cannons charging quickly before he returned fire on a mechanized division. He never saw the blur that attacked from his right, the side he was blinded to with the bad optic.

His leg joint exploded in pain, the sensors registering a moderate level of damage. Turning to the source, he was surprised when a human's foot impacted his head. The blow strained his servos but that was quickly relieved by turning with the kick. This had the bonus of bringing a missile launcher into view, which was quickly blown to pieces with his electromagnetic plasma cannon. A very nice area-of-effect weapon indeed.

**Barricade, get up!** sent Bumblebee as Ratchet cleared a path for him. The Camaro was not even going to attempt to transform with organics in his interior. The one and only time Sam had left a sandwich on a seat resulted in a mess involving a power-washer, Ratchet's Med-bay, an oil pan and lots of tie-downs.

The Saleen hesitated, not trusting of the Autobot and his own injuries. He'd learned of why he'd shut-down six months ago, and was actually pleased that they could be so crafty. Not that he'd vocalize it, of course.

"ARGH!" shouted Ranma as he took cover in the right leg armor of Ironhide, effectively freezing the weapons specialist. He may be rough and tough, but even Ironhide was wary of an enraged Prime.

"You leave him alone!" roared Barricade in Japanese as he stood up, his melee weapon forming in his left hand. The jumbo-sized roll of razor wire zinged through the air, sweeping humans and tanks aside with the greatest of ease.

Optimus was stunned, to say the least. There were _very_ few things left in the multiverse that could surprise him, and yet one of them had just happened. Putting aside the processes of just what Barricade's logic center was doing, he set himself to the task of reeling in Ironhide. He had to applaud the older mech's ability to hold his right leg motionless lest he turn the human taking refuge within into so much paste. Moving around the high-rise that housed the Starbucks, he shifted into his root mode then froze.

Ratchet had seen Prime moving about and had an idea on what their leader was processing. When Optimus froze, he took a look down the street.

'Oh, how I hope Bumblebee does _not_ see them!' zipped through his processor so fast he almost missed the subtle shifting on Prime's back.

Lennox ran over to the Camaro, Epps and his team providing cover fire. Air Force they may be, but the Marines were taking notice of how well they fought. Once he was there did Bee open his doors, discharging the three younglings into the care of the General. When that task was complete did the Autobot spy shift into his root mode. He rounded the corner, coming alongside an inanimate Optimus. Then he saw _them_.

Dozens of soldiers, retrofitted with liquid nitrogen spray-packs. More kept coming from around a bend in the road, and the normally mellow Bumblebee lost it.

Prime could only watch, stupefied, as a yellow plasma round appeared from a solar powered weapon immediately to his left. The stupefaction grew ten-fold when Sam, hearing the familiar sound of Bee's weapon, came barreling around the corner before skidding to a halt.

"_Now_ he fights back," muttered the boy, bringing Optimus back to the land of reality. The last time he'd seen those particular packs, his . . . _their_, he corrected himself, last youngling had been on the receiving end of being frozen alive. A rare emotion for the Autobot leader, known as rage, overrode his logic center. Not even thinking twice he pulled his plasma rifle off of his back and joined his . . . there it is _again_, the youngling in driving them off.

Barricade had coaxed Ranma out of Ironhide's leg, lifting him up to his shoulder armor. The weapons specialist grunted, the closest to 'thanks' the Decepticon would ever get before turning to the sound of Prime's rifle discharging at an alarming pace. They both hustled over and beheld the sight of what happens when Optimus Prime becomes angry. Making a quick detour to scoop up the sisters Tendo, which freed up the humans guarding them for combat, Barricade was treated to the sight of no less than seven bodies flying through the air. Turning to look, he noticed that Bumblebee had his right leg in the air, having kicked at them like human soccer balls.

Prime was in the zone. He'd barely tolerated it the last time, but there was no stopping him now. A small detachment of tanks had earned his attention, but that was quickly put aside with the end result being four flaming wrecks. He turned back to the walking ice machines, aiming his shots at the street in an effort to create both obstacles and place the fear of their 'Gods' into them.

All fighting ground to a halt at the sound of a lone fighter jet passing overhead. The Autobots clustered around the high-rise, tracking as many targets as their processors could handle. There was no surprise when hidden anti-aircraft guns opened fire on, again no surprise, a FA-22 Raptor. One lucky shot sent the flak into the engine intakes, forcing the plane down right on top of their position. There was no shock and awe as it transformed on the way down, landing on and flattening a half-dozen APC's. That's when the _real_ surprise came.

"Sorry I'm late Optimus," said the new arrival, a mech that was busy flicking pieces of flak off of his armor. "My squadron received your communication in the Centauri sector and our vessel was damaged."

"Squadron?" echoed Ironhide, before his faceplates mutated into something approaching a grin. "Jetfire, are you telling me the Aerialbots survived?"

"More than just the Aerialbots," replied the now identified Jetfire, commander of the Autobot Air Guard. "We were the closest to this planet when you called for us Optimus, and have been in contact with many of our army . . . including the surviving fembots."

As if on cue, weapons fire originated on the flank of the still-fighting humans. Ironhide perked up, his audio receptors running diagnostics to insure he'd picked up the right frequencies. Sure enough, he'd _know_ that sound anywhere. Leaping back into the fray, as the humans had gotten over their surprise from the Raptor being friendly, he charged through the ranks before throwing a tank like a football at several missile launchers.

"CHROMIA!" he roared as a squad had remembered themselves and began firing sabot rounds into her frame. They met a quick demise from the duo of weapons specialists before the pair commenced to have a small reunion in the lull.

While the battle was taking place, a conversation was underway within the right shoulder armor of Barricade.

"Y'know, I'm thinkin' Akane mighta been right about me and 'normal'," despaired Ranma as the sounds of the battle drifted into the impromptu bunker.

"Actually, I'd bet on it being the other way around," quipped Nabiki. She had calmed down after being shot at, having been clued in on the current happenings. An old war-horse of a General and his hidden contacts had a grudge with the world at large, and this was their opportunity to make a statement. The three were caught in the crossfire when it started, a major case of 'wrong place, wrong time'.

"Oh my oh my oh my oh my," chanted Kasumi, her poor mind not being able to handle the insanity. It was one thing to be in the background, offering support and patching up the wounds but it was another being right in the thick of it.

Nabiki took pity on her sister, and after a quick thinking session found a topic that _might_ bring her out of her current loop.

"What does it feel like?" she directed at Ranma. The sudden topic shift caught him off guard, and he gave her an incredulous look. "This 'bond' you somehow formed with our current shelter," she clarified. The chanting had stopped, which in her book was a good thing. Now for the ultimately difficult task of keeping Ranma's attention on the subject at hand.

"It's . . . weird," he timidly started, index finger-tips tapping against each other. "I mean, look at us. He remolded his armor just to give us a safe haven from the insanity outside. He didn't have to, yet he did. I guess that came from me and my desires to see you two get out of this unharmed."

"Barricade-san," started Kasumi, her words sounding wrong even to her ears, "said something about you accessing his transceiver software and downloading information."

"Well," explained Ranma, "I was confused by yer actions earlier, touching his vehicle mode. I'm not sure what I did, but all of a sudden I had more information on girls than I knew what to do with. Pops never told me 'bout girls and what they want, especially those that are engaged to be married. Hell, I barely knew what _engaged_ meant until I had my brain stuffed with things no man has a right to know."

"Oh, like what?" taunted Nabiki, wondering just how deep his new understanding went. The conversation paused as their taxi/bunker dipped to the left, presumably ducking around a building to seek shelter of his own.

"Well, like this," was the response before his right hand sought out a couple of pressure points in her shoulder, near the base of her neck. When contact was made, he and Kasumi were treated to the sight of Nabiki turning into putty at his touch. Just to make certain his point was made, he commanded his ki to flare out of the fingertips above the points.

"Ooh," moaned Nabiki, her mind in the process of rebooting. That had felt incredible, and yet it was unnerving at the same time. He'd already had the knowledge of the points and how to use them, but one thing he'd been missing was the pleasure points.

Kasumi pouted, to which Ranma gave her the same treatment. Nabiki now knew what her face had looked like when she was under the ministrations of the Saotome heir.

"Easy you three," mumbled Barricade at his shoulder, the gesture making it look like he was wiping sweat off of his face. He felt the younglings shifting about within his armor, and ducked behind a building to do a thermal scan to see just what they were up to.

"Not in the robot! No!" he shouted, the results of his scans revealing that they were getting too touchy-feely for his tastes. With the battle raging, he was not inclined to explore the link with the human to attempt to understand their actions. He did however access the World Wide Web for subject matter and made the Cybertronian discovery of a lifetime.

Internet porn.

Barricade couldn't help himself after that. The opportunity to confuse the Autobots was too much for him to simply pass up, leading to him transmitting the discovery to the others. He was treated to the sight of Optimus falling over in surprise, Bee's face overheating and nearly exploding, the weapons-happy happy couple getting a few ideas from the organics and Ratchet blue-screening from some of the dirtier clips.

Jetfire glared at the Decepticon, not liking this sneak attack at all. At least, that's what the Air Guardian slash scientist saw it as. Not that he could do anything about it, having been filled in by Optimus on the current goings-on.

The battle raged around the 'bots, bringing them all back to reality. The situation was critical and a tactical retreat was the best course of action available. Not even bothering with their alternative modes as their legs could propel them out of the way of the much smaller humans, they made a break for Tokyo

Harbor.

"Barricade, that was _disgusting_," barked Ironhide as the motley group made to vacate the area. Prime and Secretary Keller both had begun stressing the need to treat this situation as carefully as they could, regardless of whatever shooting had already taken place.

"Bah, you know you found some of it fascinating," retorted the jogging Saleen, doing his best to keep his upper torso steady to prevent the three in his shoulder armor from being injured.

At the Harbor, resistance to the attempted withdraw was stiff. The JSDF had been leery about having the Navy open fire with the heavy cannons while the robots were in the city, but here at the now abandoned piers it was a different story.

"Get to the ship!" ordered Prime, his optic covers narrowed in agitation. The anger from earlier was still there, however there was only one way to deal with a threat on the water and that was to start sinking the vessels. So far, he'd done pretty good in just scaring the humans by shooting in their direction while giving them time to run away. Bumblebee was going to get his later for kicking the natives away from him, as there was no doubt that had at least injured them.

More troops appeared, however the dynamic had just changed. These were like reinforcements, and word was that the attempted coup was being fought tooth-and-nail by the legitimate government.

Jetfire was grounded until Ratchet could fix his engine, which aggravated the flyer to no end. All he could do was shift into his alternate mode as he set foot on the aircraft carrier before rolling himself over to the elevator that would take him to the hanger deck.

The retreat was a success as the JSDF became preoccupied with fighting themselves. However, the Autobots were in for a surprise . . .

"Uh, guys?" questioned Lennox at seeing the three teens clustered around Barricade, looking completely lost.

TBC

Sorry for the short length, but my brain is refusing to cooperate with me on this one. I might have a fic-merging in the future as I've begun _Of Starships and Stargates_, a fic I've been wanting to write for a while. A more sensible approach to _The Goddess Dilemma_ plotline, which I've managed to write into a corner AND bog it down in the mud.

Check of OSAS and let me know if a fic-merge would be a good idea or not.

Ja!

Finished in Murfreesboro, TN


	13. PCPIBLS 1

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty-Bitty Living Space Prologue

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

Marller saw her chance to get rid of the Goddesses. Hild had just created the massive Mandela necessary to fuse the Goddess and Demon within Urd following the Heretical Pot fiasco. Her chance was here yes, but at the same time she was terrified for if her sudden inspiration worked Hild herself would get drawn into the destruction of the Norns. While the four were beginning the song needed for the program to work, she reached down with her left hand and carefully changed the configuration of three specific runes.

Keiichi Morisato, being in the front lines of the latest campaign, had seen what Marller had done. After smashing her in the head with a Tanuki statue, he tried to undo her changes. Being mortal had its drawbacks, like the inability to alter magic of this variety. That didn't stop him from breaking out a magic marker and attempting to redesign the runes.

The effect was immediate. Just as the Goddesses chimed in on the chant/song with the Divinity half, the entire feel of the program changed. To the two on the outside, the entire song became muted, along with the surroundings. The prefecture of Nekomi made nary a sound, as a feeling of dread descended upon the inhabitants. The magic spread from the Mandela before folding back in upon itself. Then it exploded outwards, comparable to a nuclear warhead.

This being Nekomi, only Keiichi and Marller were singed by the explosion. The effects washed over the prefecture, doing absolutely nothing to the surroundings.

Once the smoke and dust cleared, and the burnt pair regained their wits, did they notice that the quartet was missing . . .

_(Heaven, same time)_

Soft musical alarms were issued forth from Yggdrasil. Chrono, Ere and Ecks were working their magic in attempting to correct the latest errors when the master alarm went off.

In His office, the Almighty One, Kami-sama, observed the situation with interest. He was already in contact with His counterparts in an effort to locate His Daughters and once upon a time love. When the master alarm was issued, He summoned His terminal and disabled the Doublet System then ordered Lind into His presence. When she arrived He had but one thing to say.

"Prepare your troops for a surface attack."

_(Many dimensions away in Nerima)_

The Battle Royal was in effect in the massive free for all that had descended upon the martial art residents of the prefecture. There wasn't any type of cohesion to the battle, other than this was the one that would determine the fate of all. Everybody was involved, either running interference on other fights or carting the wounded off.

Everybody _meant_ everybody, from the top of the martial chain in the form of Ranma Saotome to the lowliest of the bunch, like Gosunkugi and the old Hentai Horde. Nobody knew what had started the all out brawl, but as more and more combatants were drawn in it took on a life of its own. Even the elder sisters Tendo were drawn in, Kasumi having to be a field medic while Nabiki was drafted into service as her nurse.

No properties were spared as the elite continuously fired off their upper echelon techniques in an effort to crush their opponent. Ranma had not only figured out the Splitting Cat Hairs technique but also improved upon it to something he'd seen in Naruto. There were thousands of Ranma clones, each capable of attack while he himself avoided damage.

Somebody had dared to shout "We're being overrun!" at the sight of so many Ranmas before several square blocks were annihilated by Ranma, Ryoga, Mousse, Taro, Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo, Cologne, Happosai, Genma, Soun, Nodoka, and the siblings Kuno due to the fact that the shouter had called attention upon themselves.

Ranma was beyond angry. This was going so far over the line of his personal conduct that he wanted to be sick. While he himself was having issues with destroying property, he wasn't intentionally doing so like the Lost Boy, the Amazons, or the Minotaur. Dodging left, he watched as several vacuum blades sailed by his previous location like bullets fired from a machine gun, peppering some poor sod's wall. Taking a moment to look in the direction of his father, he saw that he wasn't even the target as Happosai moved in to engage Genma and Soun.

Somebody suddenly turned on the Nerima Surround Sound System, making the air vibrate with 'Ride of the Valkyries'. Having no time to think on it, he charged a Moko Takabisha and let it fly at Ryoga whom in turn had pulled several thousand bandannas off of his head and unleashed them in a barrage of Iron Cloth.

The entire battle seemed to be in tune with the music as in the path of the weapons four newcomers appeared from nowhere. The one with the straight platinum blonde hair took the full ki powered attack in the back, launching her up and over the incoming bandannas. While she came down as an impromptu weapon on top of Ryoga, his Iron Cloth attack zipped by the three females that hadn't moved.

Silence descended as a feeling of absolute dread overcame the combatants. All eyes fell upon them, before the other platinum blonde, whom had her hair in many ponytails, noticed that three of the said 'tails were falling to the ground. Still bound by their bands.

"My . . . hair . . .," the tanned woman gasped out, her right hand reaching up to feel her new style. Clearly stunned, all she could do was pass her hand through the space that said hair had occupied until a few seconds ago.

The NSSS flipped from 'Ride of the Valkyries' to 'The Imperial March' as the feeling of doom overrode the feeling of dread. Ranma noticed the change in demeanor first and screamed, panicked by the look that he could see.

The brown hair girl was mimicking the motions of her platinum companion, only her eyes were glazed over. The last of the group, whom had avoided the bandannas and didn't have an attack nail her in the back took note of the expression.

"SEEK SHELTER!" she and the other victim of the Hibiki Haircutting technique shouted in unison before running away, very fast. They were surprised to see a raven haired boy keeping pace with their magically enhanced speed with ease, apparently in agreement with their statement.

Back at the now quiet battlefield, the brown haired girl came to. She looked down at the hair that used to be attached to the left side of her head before letting out a sigh. Just as the others thought they were safe, a massive magical explosion washed over them, flinging many several blocks away. Ryoga was sent flying the furthest, coming down somewhere in Europe.

_(Tendo House/Dojo sometime later)_

". . .," said Ranma to the newcomers by way of greeting, not entirely sure what to make of them. The three adults were breathtakingly beautiful in their own unique way. The short more childlike one he could tell would grow up to be just as beautiful. Not that he dared voice his thoughts aloud, not with the towering inferno-aura to his left. He just knew that whatever was going to happen would be pinned on him, even if he had nothing to be faulted for this time. The sole exception to that being the straight haired platinum blonde, who was directing a glare in his direction.

Then, it happened.

Kasumi, being on field medic duty, was the last to wander back into her home. Her eyes fell on the brown haired one, and something between the two seemed to click. Putting that on hold, she went into the kitchen to get the tea service and some snacks.

"So . . .," tried Ranma again, occasionally glaring at his father whom had taken to being outside with a tire and his trusty 'Just a Panda' sign. He did note that the sound of his voice sounded like it was amplified several times over in the silence, which caused him to close his mouth. Not that it mattered now as that one simple word set off the youngest Tendo.

"RANMA NO HENTAI!" she roared as she reintroduced her mallet to his head. Why, he had no idea. The result however was most interesting as he got a view up a few dresses. The what he assumed sisters were indeed platinum by nature.

"Now that's just disturbing," deadpanned Hild in a side bar with her companions. "Such malice, such hatred . . ."

Skuld had produced a computer from somewhere, and was in the process of downloading any and all pertinent information on the situation. The file for one Ranma Saotome keep causing lag issues, and had already forced three reboots as the system here didn't seem to be in tip-top shape like she was used to.

". . .," said a confused Urd, her left eyebrow lifted upwards. Something was terribly amiss here, and World of Elegance was even warning her to stay out of this one. She suddenly found a hardcopy file plopped down on the table in front of her, to which she started to read in earnest.

"From the top then," came the voice of a recovered pigtailed young man. "I'm Ranma Saotome, sorry 'bout this . . ."

Ah, the classics never die. However, when three of the four females that had their noses buried in some reading material that he couldn't make out looked at him with surprise all he could do was slump his shoulders in defeat.

"Wait, _the_ Ranma Saotome?" questioned Belldandy, much to the surprise of the others. She had a look on her face that many had never seen before. She looked like she'd stumbled upon Adonis doing a balancing act with a galaxy or two. Then she began speed-reading, her Divine marks flaring as she used some of her power. She wasn't alone in that regard as her sisters and a quiet –nervous?- Hild did the same thing.

"Um . . . yeah," he confirmed, not liking the look he'd received in the least. It wasn't one he'd associate with the fiancées, more like a severe case of hero-worship. He did make a mental note to ask them about the facial tattoos later.

"So what did Mister Saotome bargain for this time?" came the annoyed voice of Nabiki. Like things had been boring around the place as it was since the wedding fiasco. Suddenly things started to make sense now that she thought about it. Her words had an adverse effect on the son of said Saotome, which caught her off guard.

"Was I born under an unlucky star or did I anger the Kami just by existing?" he mumbled a little too loudly after his head impacted the table, easily being overheard in what was supposed to be a private moment. The tone of his voice left little doubt about how he viewed things as they stood. However, the reaction he got was not what he was expecting.

As the others watched, still waiting for introductions and somebody to explain what was going on, Ranma seemed to disappear from his seat and was replaced by a pair of . . . what the?

"Could somebody explain _this_ to me?" came his voice from in-between the obviously female, scantily clad . . . bodies . . . that had materialized from nowhere and sandwiched him in a hug.

"Kami!" blurted Cologne, seeing but not quite believing what was transpiring before her. Too stunned to do anything, she could only watch as the pair that had smothered Ranma turned to look at her. The sunny blonde looked normal enough, however the half white half-black one set her on edge.

"RANMA!" shouted four female voices at once, an obvious warning that another battle was about to take place.

"Oh no you don't!" he yelled in return, his arms appearing around the waists of the additional newcomers before he tried a new technique he'd been working on in secret. "SHIELD!"

_THUMP_

Four females found themselves acquainted with the floor after meeting an invisible force, their weapons of choice reduced to ashes. Looking closely, one could see his blue eyes looking out through the feathers of the winged women . . . wait a minute.

"Phoenix people?!" he screeched as he tossed them across the room, before taking in their expressions. The pair were silently laughing at him, although he could faintly hear a musical note in the background.

"Just what do you two think you're doing?" demanded Urd of Holy Bell and World of Elegance. The Angels looked at each other before orbiting around Ranma, hugging themselves in happiness.

"Huh?" eloquently asked said youth, taking note of where their legs should be was instead a –fabric?- wrap that trailed behind them. "Could somebody _please_ explain them to me? And while you're at it, can you explain those tattoos?"

That caught their attention, bringing the quartet out of the 'light' reading they'd been taking part in. Or in Urd's case, staring at her Angel with undisguised curiosity. Thusly the long delayed introductions, including the pair orbiting about Ranma's head, were finally conducted. The residents of Nerima were surprised to find themselves 'graced' by the Fates while at the same time trying to ward Hild out of the house. Seeing as in how she was being docile for the moment they didn't try too hard.

Shampoo had been studying their postures, and something within her mind made her double take on the outfits that Urd and Hild were wearing. Deciding that she shouldn't be left out, she left the room for a moment before pulling a rapier out of weapons space and performing surgery on her shirt. Turning her head to the left she noticed that Ukyo, Kodachi _and_ Akane had the same idea.

Ranma was immersed in the Soul of Ice and as such was stoic in the face of the bronze-skinned women's outfits. He was internally surprised before wanting to scream when the fiancées came back into the living room after remodeling their attire in an effort to grab his attention. He continued to be stoic as Kasumi and Nabiki excused themselves for several minutes before returning with their own alterations.

The fathers were sweating bullets. A contest had spontaneously sprung up in their presence involving women and abundant amounts of cleavage. Soun fainted dead away while Genma made it a point to thousand yard stare at Nodoka, hoping that his action would avoid a meeting with that damned katana of hers.

Cologne wanted to curl into a ball and cry. She couldn't believe this latest bout of insanity that had descended upon the area that Ranma was currently located in nor could she believe that Shampoo of all people had started it. She thought she'd taught her better than that, especially since a situation such as this would summon Happi like a moth to a flame.

Sure enough, as soon as the thought was processed said Grandmaster came bounding into the room after his nightly panty raid. He looked like he'd found Nirvana at the copious amounts of flesh on display. His first target turned out to be his last as he leapt at the pair orbiting the boy's head. The Angels had detected his person incoming to their position and turned immaterial.

But not fast enough to avoid losing their chest wraps.

Ranma continued to be stoic on the outside, while on the inside he was absolutely terrified. When the Angels lost the wraps he happened to be looking in their direction and it took all of his willpower to prevent a nosebleed without moving his hands. This of course redirected the blood-flow somewhere else.

Genma had enough of the current insanity. Between the women posing provocatively and the Angels now being topless he had but one option: grab the boy and flee. He rushed over to his son and reached out with his left hand, grabbing the pigtail and lifting Ranma up to standing. The only drawback turned out to be when the table went with him, balanced on something in his waist area . . .

Crap, no wonder he didn't run away on his own.

Several sets of eyes widened to their fullest at the display of the table hanging off of Ranma like a shield, hands free. Many mouths went dry while a fair number started to squirm. Genma slunk away from his latest folly, lest he get caught in the fallout. Soun awoke for three seconds, saw the goings on and promptly fainted again.

The fiancées had a similar thought: "A reaction at last! Yes!"

"Right," drawled Ranma, his eyes looking down at the table while trying to figure out how he was going to get out of this mess. The only one not affected by the current situation was Skuld, whom had her eyes glued to the monitor of her computer. She, and everybody else, were ignoring the fact that it was now floating in mid-air.

"Would you look at that?" asked the Goddess of the Future suddenly, causing a massive face vault. She missed the table returning to its previous position as Ranma had chosen to simply fold forward. Deciding that the adults were weird, she continued. "Sisters, look at this!"

The monitor was suddenly crowded as said sisters and Hild looked over the young ones shoulders, reading whatever it was that she had discovered.

Kasumi, already feeling out of character, decided to join them. The screen displayed two columns, one titled SAOTOME, G and the other SAOTOME, N. Several lines were highlighted; more than a few were italicized and blinking signifying a conflict in the coding. One particular line stood out, to which the five sets of eyes found themselves glued to.

Queue the stereo "Oh my!"

"This dimension is really messed up," grumbled Urd, one eye on the screen while the other was looking upwards. She couldn't help but wonder just what in the wide, wide world of sports was going on "upstairs".

_(Heaven, Nerima Dimension)_

Loud snoring greeted any that visited this place these days. Yggdrasil was dormant, the SysOps were nowhere to be found let alone the Admins, even the Nidhogg system was offline. Occasionally the sound of a loud belch would echo across the vast space that was littered with slumbering bodies. Sometimes somebody would roll over, moving a bottle out of the way creating more noise.

In the Almighty One's office, He sat in His chair brooding. While much more clean than bloodshed, He had to wonder if these binges with the Demons were getting out of hand. The system hadn't been maintained in years, left in a stand-by mode just to keep the reality from crashing completely. Beyond that, anything was possible. Looking across His desk, He took note of Hild taking a long draw from a bong, putting any mortal smoker to shame.

Deciding that work could wait for another day, if only to see Her lose this latest bet, He took the offered instrument and repeated Her motions.

_(Back at the Tendo's)_

"You have got to be kidding me," grumbled Urd to nobody in particular. World of Elegance could sense her irritation but wisely kept to her previous activity of orbiting the boy's head.

She and Holy Bell could feel it, he was The One. There was mass speculation amongst the Angels about The One and what his/her purpose was to be, beyond the legend that The One would merge all of creation into one. It was said that in the beginning, the was but one universe that had to be fragmented into many. Each Kami and Demon was a distinct part of one being. Where they were from, they had the 'serious' Kami-sama and the fun loving Hild. From what she could remember of constantly meeting her hosts' Father was that the man never smiled. Nor did He frown. He was stoic at all times in the face of any occasion to the point of being boring. Looking at Hild, all she could see in the Great Demoness fragment was the desire to cause mild mayhem in the name of fun. She seemed oblivious to all else, from Her sexuality to how Her Daughter felt about Her. While She spoke of malice and hatred _She_ didn't display said emotions.

Holy Bell, on the other hand, was wondering what her companion was up to. She'd read whatever it was that needed her attention then promptly made a beeline for the phone. She'd been listening to ringing for about five minutes now but this being Belldandy she'd wait an eternity or two for somebody to answer before giving up. Putting thoughts of her partner out of her mind, she refocused her attention to the poor lad whom she was orbiting like a cosmic body. Some deep instinct was telling her that this was The One, who would reunite the higher beings with themselves and put an end to the Great Competition that had been raging for untold eons.

Just _how_ he was supposed to do this she, along with World of Elegance, had no idea.

"What are you talking about?" demanded said youth, moving around in an attempt to see whatever it was that they were seeing. He did note Belldandy on the phone with Kasumi hovering nearby for whatever reason but put it out of his mind for the moment. Their actions didn't pertain to him for now so he ignored them, even though he did note how alike the pair were both with their looks and their mannerisms.

"This _can't_ be good," deadpanned Hild, having bumped Skuld out of the way to make use of the keyboard. She was deep within Nidhogg trying to unravel the mysteries that had just been dumped into her lap. She had to wonder why the system was offline though, knowing that if it was down so was Yggdrasil in this reality. Indeed, she discovered, the World Tree and Great Dragon were in stand-by, minimal gain mode to maintain the reality but that was it. The last access had been by Her counterpart, some two hundred years ago, to put the system in its current state.

A flag appeared on a file by the name of SYSBUGMON. Opening it, she nearly fainted dead away at what she saw.

The Bugs were on a rampage, completely unchecked in two hundred years. They were everywhere; Yggdrasil, Midgard, Nidhogg almost completely overrun to the point of an imminent system failure. She was about to voice her findings when she was roughly moved aside by Ranma.

In his haste to figure out if these newcomers were talking about him behind his back, he had reached out to gently move Hild out of the way. When the gentle approach failed, he shifted his grip then added more force to it for effect. Having his left hand filled with her right breast however was _not_ part of the plan, no matter how unbelievably soft yet firm it felt. Deciding to get what reading in he could before the usual reaction kicked in, he finished the push sending the Great Demoness toppling over backwards with a moan and an "UMPH!" when she impacted the floor.

He had three seconds remaining, even with his new shield technique up. Akane was beating on it furiously, wearing the ki that made the technique work out quicker than he could replenish it. Taking a look at the screen, the gibberish that should have been there for his mortal eyes cleaned itself up into Japanese before he was launched through the roof. Having vented her fury, Akane looked at the same screen and was met by the same gibberish form before.

_(Primary reality)_

If one were to walk into this closed door meeting they would have been blown away. First by the crowded room full of aspects of the Almighty One, then by said aspects forcibly removing them from the area.

The last time the aspects had met like this was at the Beginning. The other half of the Balance was in attendance as well, bringing the subspace pocket dimension to capacity. One aspect of each was missing, notwithstanding the one that had been forcibly transplanted across realities.

The Hild's were amazed. For Him to call this meeting something somewhere had to have gone wrong. Horribly wrong. So horribly wrong that He was calling in reinforcements from across the multiverse. She noticed that she was short a pair of aspects, one she knew was 'lost' in the dimensions while the other she had no idea about. It did seem odd to her that the system in that reality was refusing all incoming calls, both form Him and Her. She had looked up which reality wasn't responding and felt the urge to scream. That was one part of herself she would gladly do without.

The Hippy . . .

Looking across the vast ocean of bodies, she found others that could go away for all eternity for all she cared. Over there, the Eternally Angry one using a bo-staff to hit people at random. Over here, the unbridled nymphomaniac trying her hardest to get some to the point of being naked already. Way over there, the Belldandy clone singing to a pot of flowers trying to bring joy into the world. Ugh.

Not that His aspects were any better . . . or worse. The one she disliked the most was the one that had called the meeting, Mister Stoic-nothing-can-phase-me. She noted that His eye was roving the crowd, looking at the attendees and being stoic in the face of their antics. To Her amazement, one of His eyebrows raised upwards slightly when His eye came across the silly aspects of themselves, doing their best to clown around. Beyond that, He remained stoic.

Hmmm, He really _is_ boring. No reaction to the clowns, the nymph or the other aspects beyond a Spock Maneuver. Sheesh, thought one of the sci-fi obsessed Hild's, even the Borg show more emotion than He.

Taking notice of the crowd getting rowdy, He called the meeting to order . . .

_(Ranma-verse Heaven)_

"Would somebody answer that damned phone?!" groaned the native Urd, hangover to maximum. The latest 'bout' with the Demons was one for the record books, one that if the . . . refreshments . . . had been imported from Midgard the proprietors would have been made near instant billionaire status. Not hearing an answer from the mass of bodies, she had no choice but to pick up the phone herself. "What?!"

Then she heard a voice that she hadn't heard in millennia. A voice that the loss of the person who owned it was the reason behind the restructuring of the Competition on this plane. That voice caused her to sober up instantly, and the name she shouted in joy had the effect of rousing the others nearby. Her jubilant voice echoed all the way to His office, making Him look up completely shocked.

"BELLDANDY! . . . what, wait, _what?!_"

In His office, He listened with full awareness for the first time in a thousand years. It had taken eight hundred just for Him to come far enough out of His funk after the loss of the native Belldandy just to demand a meeting with Hild to reset the Competition and place the control computers into standby mode. Summoning forth His interface to Yggdrasil, He inputted a long series of codes into the mainframe which in turn brought the World Tree back to full operational status.

Instantly did the master alarm go off, just after the SYSBUGMON file flag appeared. Even though He'd just taken a large dose of a very relaxing herb He had to tap into His powers to rouse the others. All across Heaven, Gods and Goddesses awoke to an alarm that many couldn't even remember the meaning behind. Then those that hadn't awoken to Urd's shouting heard her screaming for joy and calling out a name that sobered the entire lot up.

He was confused though, as to why the system was displaying a long forgotten file and had issued forth a greeting for . . . somebody.

"_Welcome back, Master Chaos."_

_(Somewhere above Nerima . . . sheesh, another scene change)_

One would think that Ranma was comfortable in his impromptu flight across the district. For all appearances, he was sitting in a chair with his hands interlaced behind his head with his right leg crossed over his left. He was even reclined backwards slightly as he flew past a flock of birds that scattered in surprise from his silent passing. He did make it a point to wave at a pair of jet fighters that came to investigate the odd blip on the radar, which sent them back to whence they came once they saw who it was that once _again_ got the UFO fanatics riled up.

Ranma did take note that the border for Nerima was approaching at a good clip and he'd yet to halt his ascent let alone lose any velocity. Although the view from up here was spectacular he was slightly worried that the Tomboy had hit him with enough force to achieve escape velocity. Taking a look at the city that was now _far_ below him his eagle eyes took note of a battle that looked oddly familiar.

Familiar in the terms of several females, regardless of their get-up, attacking a single target and causing massive collateral damage.

"So that's what it looks like," he pondered from on high, after shifting his position to that of a person laying stretched out on a floor. This changed his aerodynamic profile, giving him more control over his flight path. "Sloppy," he grumbled as he watched the girls attack from range with magic and constantly miss or flambé their allies. They had little to no physical experience at all, and thusly were placed somewhere around the Tomboy that put him up here in terms of threat level.

Cocky, ne?

Taking careful aim, he let fly a Moko Takabisha at the monster/youma thingamabob whatchamacallit. After doing so, he slithered around into facing downwards thus changing his trajectory to the same, before performing several dozen acrobatic feats in an effort to bleed off the velocity he still had. Of course, a few _were_ for show but that's his prerogative.

Down on the ground, -_PAUSE_- Oh I can't believe I'm gonna do this. Damn it. –_UNPAUSE_- the Senshi were having a tough time with the speedy youma. It was fast and _smart_ enough to evade their attacks. Things weren't looking to good for the suited female warriors of . . . ARGH!, Who named these people anyway?! . . . um, yeah. So imagine their surprise when a ball of something, even though Mars and Jupiter both mumbled something about ki, came from on high and decimated not only to youma but five square blocks. Mostly the mall and Arcade, but hey. Their hangout just got toasted by somebody so of course they were going to have to dispense their own brand of justice.

Ignoring the angry mob off to their left, the collective group of girls looked upwards to see who had dared destroy the shopping district –conveniently forgetting they themselves cause more damage on a regular basis- and gauge their threat level. More surprise for the nine girls when a speeding bullet twisted and twirled then ricocheted from building to building. Whomever it was managed to bounce back and forth without so much as dislodging the dust which earned cheers and applause from the mob. After a few minutes of this the form slowed down enough to land without putting a new crater in the street and thus did so.

"Dead Scream," Pluto wasted no time on introductions or Sentai speeches. Whoever this new player was had some serious power and the Time Gates had not warned her of the now apparent him. She was surprised when the ball of temporal flux sailed harmlessly by the boy after he leaned to the left, before he retaliated without a word.

If there was one thing Ranma had figured out, it was that calling out your attack –even though honorable so that the opponent had time to mount a defense- was stupid. Why would you want to do that when you could surprise your foe with a move they weren't expecting, like a low power Moko Takabisha. This move was easier to charge and fire, as it wasn't meant for anything more than a knockout blow. He'd never tried a maximum power move before in fear of blowing up a good chunk of the entire Tokyo area.

Sailor Pluto smirked at the incoming projectile, thinking that she could easily deal with it. She had no time for a reaction for as soon as the ki ball touched her it exploded, sending her unconscious form flying. Magical armor had one serious drawback, that being that a _physical_ attack wasn't dampened in the slightest. Yes, it would protect the wearer from damage if they were sent flying by a magic attack into a wall, but then again a wall isn't a living being. Magic and ki don't mix et al.

Ranma big-sweated at the ease in which one of his opponents was knocked out of the fight. That had been entirely too easy, and it served to get the other eight into gear. Not being a good mob fighter as he preferred one on one, he had one technique that would clear them out and let him begin the long trek home. After all, Nerima was on the far side of Tokyo from here.

Diving into the Soul of Ice, he got in close to each and every single opponent before taunting them into trying to hit him with their fists. This may have included a grope or two on the more stalwart of the suited girls, but the results were the same as the mob looked on in wonder. One single man was doing what the lot of Juuban and Minato in general couldn't and that was embarrass the Sailor Senshi. Those on the outside were in awe as the young man danced around their attacks, spiraling around the group in tightening circles before a hurricane sprung up from nowhere.

"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!" Ranma indulged himself by calling out this attack, sending the girls flying upwards and buffeting them in the strong winds. He nearly laughed when the one in red launched a fire attack of all things, which only empowered the tornado even more. Barely panting as the girls were doing their best to free themselves and becoming even angrier at their lack of success thus feeding the storm that had them even more hot ki, he decided that they'd had enough and stopped the flow of cold ki.

The Senshi let out a scream of fright as the winds suddenly cut out before they began their free-fall to the ground below. Their 'target' was long gone by the time they could look for him, however the mob that awaited them was there and ready to dispense their own ideals of justice.

It was a bad day to be a Senshi.

"Aah, I feel better," Ranma said to nobody in particular as he sped along the Tokyo Expressway disturbing birds and the occasional couple on a roof for private time. He paid his surroundings no mind as his mind was back as the one-sided battle. He'd heard rumors of those fuku-clad girls before, even some that put them as more destructive than the residents of Nerima. Now that he'd encountered them, he had to agree with that assessment as who in their right mind would attack at range with magic? His own experiences had magic labeled as a Forbidden Technique as a whole, even more so now that he'd seen what attacks based on planetary mana taps did to the surroundings. Those youma they battled were less destructive, smart enough to try to work in the shadows and not draw undue attention to themselves.

Those at the Dojo were waiting for his return, not knowing how far Akane had sent him this time. Said Tendo was tied up with enough rope that only her eyes and nose were visible, her glare set to maximum at the room in general which was deftly ignored by the lot. The visitors, minus the lookout Urd, were in the midst of a conversation. The amount of sparkly effects surrounding them and the pair of Angels leaving enough of a clue as to the topic of discussion.

The residents were in their own meeting, trying to understand what had happened with Ranma now. Since the arrival of the visitors established character traits had suddenly gone by the wayside, and it spooked more than a few. Nodoka was on the other end of that spectrum, giddy that her son was being manly. Like Akane, her ramblings were deftly ignored.

Nerima as a whole was also crawling with legions of Valkyries on guard duty while the Debuggers were hard at work cleaning up the mess that they had let get out of control. Their mission was two-fold, first was the aforementioned guard duty while the second was to protect one Ranma Saotome once he returned from wherever it was that he'd been ejected to. Thankfully he was still one with this dimension.

Urd was on the lookout for the youth, her debugger shades on. The file she'd seen on the young Saotome had a line that should have been impossible to any and all beings of Order. It was italicized, bold, underlined, all capital letters and had been blinking to draw attention to itself. Even with her domain of the Past she had never encountered such a line of coding before.

_**RECLASSIFY SUBJECT SAOTOME, RANMA CLASS SIX SYSTEM BUG; CHAOS INCARNATE; COMPTROLLER OF ALL BUGS**_

She knew he had seen that line also, along with the bizarre message from this dimension's Yggdrasil welcoming him back. Although the title of Master Chaos threw her for a loop.

Movement in the corner of her left eye caught her attention, and as she watched the subject of her thoughts approached at high velocity. He looked like he'd been in a battle notwithstanding his forced flight. Her orange shades let her see the Class Five bug that was nestled in his hair, its legs wrapped effectively around his head.

Behind him came an army of the other classes, stampeding their way through the beings of order without giving themselves away. There were millions of them, a living sea of bug fur rolling over the entire area just waiting for their master to unleash them on a target.

He met two of the legions of Valkyries head on, and another battle commenced. The bugs were having none of the debugging efforts and with the boy as their 'leader' were able to organize resistance to crush their opponents. Literally, the warrior Goddesses found themselves steamrolled into the ground by the living wall of Chaos given physical form.

Not that Ranma had noticed any of this, his attention focused on the slack-jawed Urd. He waved his left hand in front of her face a few times in an effort to grab her attention which finally succeeded after a few minutes.

"Oh yeah, this just got complicated," Urd deadpanned as she came to, watching the bugs jumping on the fallen Valkyries to insure they were one with the ground.

Feh, just another day in the life of Ranma Saotome . . .

TBC

All righty then. Kind of a teaser ficlet that I started after my marathon of AMG. In the process, I reread POC: AOS and AMSB (as mentioned above) and was thus inspired to get this far with the chaos factor. Where it goes from here is yet to be seen. Lord Rance and Gekigengar3 have been AWOL for _years_, so no I couldn't get their input on this. I freely admit inspiration came from their fics and give them credit for the ideas. What I have here is all my idea though.

Aah, Chaos. My friend, welcome home.

Ja!

Finished in Houston, TX.


	14. PCPIBLS 2

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty-Bitty Living Space Part One

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

Ami Mizuno was busy. Once the fallout from their latest adventure had come and gone, the entirety of the Senshi had slunk, limped and carried unconscious friends back to the Hikawa Shrine to be patched up by her. While Hotaru was good for a quick fix, these injuries were translating over to their normal forms and there were just too many for the poor girl to handle. So while she diligently went about her task, part of her mind was locked on the waning moments of their latest fight with the forces of evil.

"_Who was that young man?"_ she thought while untangling Moon's hair from around her throat. Another part of her massive intellect made a note that the locals were apparently very angry with their antics but then refocused on the problem at hand. _"And why did he look familiar?"_

There had been no warning on his appearance, nothing from her Mercury Computer to Mars' precognitive abilities to Pluto's Time Gate. From what she knew, it should have been an impossibility for anybody to be completely masked as such. But he was, creating uncertainty amongst those Senshi still in the waking world. For if he could exist outside of their sphere of influence, how many others could?

Moving over to Jupiter, she set to the task of popping her right shoulder back into its socket. Makoto was entertaining herself with a martial arts magazine, doing her best to ignore the pain a dislocated shoulder causes. Although, for some reason, she appeared to be frozen as if entranced by whatever it was that she was looking at. Glancing down, Ami nearly screamed as her own mind locked up.

The others that were moving about and aware of their surroundings, meaning those other than Pluto herself, took notice of the strangled noise that had emanated from Ami's throat and came over to investigate. Staring back at them was the cover story of the magazine, a person that they had encountered just two hours ago.

_Ranma Saotome, heir to the empire that is the Anything Goes Martial Arts style. Known accomplishments include the mastering of at least seventy-nine differing Arts, the destruction of three mountains and the sinking of an island. Numerous Demon-class beings defeated, along with a Dragon-descendant, a Phoenix and two entire races of human/animal hybrids. Chair of the Nerima Wrecking Crew._

Above the description was a picture of the raven haired youth from their battle and a redheaded girl that looked like his sister. In the fine print they could make out the picture copyright belonging to _Kasumi Tendo_. The whole thing read like an interview of sorts, giving little information on his personal life yet delving into his Art and his drive behind it. One line stood out from the rest, one that made the Senshi sans their editor think.

"_Fate? There is no fate but what we make,"_ he'd said when asked if he felt that everything that had transpired in his life up to that point had been preordained by some higher being.

"No . . .," groaned out Makoto, coming to and noticing that she was now immersed in a crowd. Her worst fears were confirmed for she had thought she'd seen something about that young man somewhere before. Not only that, but she had heard the stories from the Nerima transplants now calling Minato and Juuban home. The part of her psyche that loved the Art had always wanted to meet him, to spar with him, and the libido part threw in date with him just because it could.

"Anybody but him," despaired Minako, having dropped her transformation some time ago. She had remembered something from her travels in her youth, and now having a name to go with the face brought her experience back from the cold, dark place she'd buried it. _He_ was the one who first got her interested in the opposite sex, before leaving her high and dry wanting more from the brief relationship they'd developed. She had felt something the day he left, like he'd stolen something of hers that could never be replaced.

"Huh?" came the ever intelligent question from Usagi while brushing her hair. The mob had done a number on her, including the uber-insult of trying to suffocate her with her own hair. All of the pertinent data was in front of her, but all that ran through her mind was that she was hungry. Her attention span was set in child mode in an effort to deal with the violence that had occurred a few hours ago.

"Whoa," said a completely awestruck Rei as she read further into the article. The part about fate grated on her miko training, along with some of his nonchalant answers when asked about other topics beyond the Art. He either had no clue or didn't care about the future and what it may bring, leaving her and the others flustered as he portrayed himself to be a 'live in the now' kind of person.

Then the biography appeared after the interview, with various people listed under various headings. His parents, more precisely his father caused an eyebrow or two to raise along with the Grandmaster of the style and Ranma's sensei Happosai. The pair were well known in many circles, for obvious reasons. His mother looked like a rube, plain and simple. Like she wasn't even there while being there.

"Ugh, what hit me?" came an untimely distraction in the form of Setsuna Meioh returning to the land of the living. Haruka snickered a few times before being elbowed in the gut by Michiru.

While the Senshi clued the recently revived Pluto in on what they had discovered, a completely different scene was taking place on the far side of Tokyo.

The now expanded group was again at the table, enjoying snacks and tea courtesy of the Kasumi's . . . Kasumi and Belldandy . . . would that be Belldandy clones? . . . anyway, the idle chatter that had sprung up amongst themselves had stopped when Ranma returned from his flight, looking a little worse for the wear. Nobody indoors had the orange shades that Urd refused to take off as she stared at the top of his head, making him wonder if his hair had gotten loose again.

"What?" he finally demanded of the tanned Norn, bringing her out of her funk. While he waited for an answer, he headed to the nearest mirror to insure that his hair was behaving itself as it should. As always, he noted, his hair was silky smooth and bushy. This changed when the shades of Urd were placed before his eyes, to which the thing on his head casually waved a leg at the mirror by way of greeting. Hearing stifled noises behind him, he turned around to see the other three 'guests' donning their own glasses.

"Just what the hell is this thing?" he demanded of them while pointing at the space just above his head, causing those not in the know to topple sideways.

"Not stressed much, are you?" deadpanned Nabiki, thinking that the boy had lost it completely. Information like that could prove to be deadly for everybody involved if he had indeed lost his marbles. She did note that he was leveling a glare in her direction, one that showed his sanity was still there.

"Nope. Live my life for an hour and see how stressed you'd be, including that stunt of yours," he replied with the half-lidded glare of sarcasm. In the process he reminded her that he hadn't forgotten about the prostitution thing and was still hot under the collar about it.

"What 'stunt'?" demanded Akane, voicing the question of the moment. There were two people in the room that knew the answer to that, and they were currently engaged with trying to kill the other with death glares. The battle of wills appeared to be infinite, before Ranma let loose a smirk. When Nabiki saw it, she immediately dove for his face in an effort to keep his mouth shut.

"Nabiki here sunk to a new low," he calmly stated, having pinned the middle sister to the floor by tripping her then standing on her back. "She made a bet, lost big time, then decided to repay that debt by selling my female side into prostitution. Oh, then she let the man die. For a lousy ten yen."

Demon-Soun made his appearance, tongue lashing back and forth sending spit flying everywhere. A loud, metallic _SHING_ gave notice to Nodoka's actions. The Panda-fied Genma lifted his arms upwards in preparation of releasing his vacuum blades. Cologne simply descended her walking stick to wield it as a weapon. Happosai pulled out several high yield explosives, the fuses lit. Shampoo had her bonbori out, ready to leap in on the attack. Ukyo was twirling her Baker's Peel, the edge catching the sunlight and demonstrating how sharp it was. Kodachi looked lost but decided that she had to join in by laughing manically while trying to hypnotize people with her ribbon. Akane was frozen solid.

Kasumi frowned. Deeply. RAGNAROK!

The Angels looked mad. Mad as it spitting fire and brimstone mad. World of Elegance was throttling the air with her hands in an obvious effort to _not_ partake in that action with the one Ranma was using as a stepping stone. Holy Bell's eyes turned from their normally deep, compassionate blue to two pieces of ice, her mouth set into a tiny, straight line. Urd was as juiced up about the situation as her Angel, in a literal sense as lightning trailed up and down her arms. Skuld also produced high yield explosives, only hers used electric detonators and as such there would be no warning to when they would explode. Hild was busy fingering a pair of her hair ties, contemplating taking them off.

Belldandy frowned. Deeply. END OF DAYS!

The long forgotten System Bug that had made its home on Ranma's head decided to vacate the premises lest it got debugged. It had perched itself there when it first came to this plane of existence when he was but a child, just after the Neko-ken disaster. Not only was his head warm but the Bug's natural usage of Chaos acted like a filter of sorts, toning the mayhem the energy causes down into more manageable levels. Once the Bug left its perch did several . . . dozen . . . unexpected things happen.

The water pipes in the kitchen suddenly burst, the stove exploded, several doors fell off of their tracks, several more windows shattered for no reason, the floor under Nabiki gave out causing her to be driven into the muck below the house face first which earned another smirk form Ranma just before his pants fell down, which helped trip Kasumi as she made a break for the water shut-off as her panties fell down around her ankles. Ukyo lost her grip on her Peel, sending it careening across the room to impact and subsequently crush Happosai just before his Happo-darikens exploded ejecting him from the property. The shockwave from the explosion caused Shampoo to lose her grip on her bonbori, one sailing through and defeating the Demon-Head and the other smashing into Genma-Panda's groin. As he went down, he fumbled his '_**PANDA DOWN, PANDA DOWN!**_' sign which flew in a perfect ballistic arc to nail Cologne in the head. The result of that was the end of her attitude adjuster swinging upwards to take the sash from Nodoka's kimono before slicing her undergarments and dislodging her grip on her katana. The sword sailed through the air before Kodachi tried to snag it, but whiffed and wound up tying herself up. Akane was in motion to bash Ranma's head in when the Saotome honor blade came down through her mallet, pinning it to the floor. This stopped her upper body, causing her legs to continue on and shoot out from under her. As she went down, her left leg kicked the table, flipping it into the air where it came down on the surprised Angels, making them one with the floor. One of the lightning bolts jumped from Urd to Skuld, shorting out the electronic detonators on her Skuld Bombs causing the duo to be blown into the koi pond. As the dust settled, Hild took note that the blast had been powerful enough to dislodge her strapless dress, which due to it being parted right down the middle slid completely off of her body. Mousse had turned two-dimensional, his voice sounding like he was in a trash can while Kuno had shrunk to a height of three inches which he immediately took advantage of by walking into Akane's dress.

In Minato ward, Usagi had fumbled her brush. When she bent over to pick it up, she let one go into the sacred flame frying the eyebrows of Rei. This also acted like a propellant, launching the Senshi of the Moon into Setsuna's gut, toppling the couch over backwards. Minako and Makoto had their feet crushed by the top of the couch and the added weight of the two tangled girls. The chairs Haruka and Michiru were sitting in collapsed, smashing their faces into the table they'd been having some tea at. Ami and Hotaru found themselves drenched in said tea after it sailed through the air, the pot landing on Luna while a saucer took out Artemis.

(Insert voice from 70's Batman show) _Meanwhile, back at the Tendo's_ . . .

Belldandy appeared to be the only survivor, laughing to the point of causing pain. This was quickly stopped as a soda can decided to develop a pin-hole, aimed directly at her mouth. The best she could do was swallow as fast as she could, instantly becoming drunk.

The Bug reattached itself to Ranma's head, and everything stopped. Wind, and the occasional roof tile falling to the ground, were the only sounds heard for a while.

"That was . . . different," sheepishly commented Ranma after securing his pants and insuring that they wouldn't fall down again. Feeling movement underfoot, he remembered that he was standing on Nabiki's back and promptly got off of her spine. He was surprised when, as Nabiki poked her head up through the hole, her face was impacted by a pair of panties. He made a note to ask Kasumi about the 'Hello Kitty' design before his mind fried from saying hello to her kitty.

Across the room, Kasumi realized that kicking the wayward garment off of her leg had been a bad idea in her dress when Ranma's eyes widened before blood erupted from his nose sending him back into the hole in the floor and on top of Nabiki.

Ryoga chose this moment to reenter the scene, fresh from his travels to faraway places. He looked like he'd been fed to a meat-grinder yet won the battle. He took note of the destruction present and came to a conclusion.

"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOOUR FAULT!"

For once, he was right. Although not in the sense he was thinking as Kuno suddenly returned to his previous height, taking Akane's dress and panties with him. There was a muffled _POP-FWUMP_ on the other side of the pile of moaning bodies, signaling Mousse's return to the third dimension.

"Owie," came Ranma's voice from under the floor, which was followed by a meaty _THWACK_ signifying a punch landing upon his face. This caused those that had some decorum of decency to eat the floor in a most painful manner.

_(Primary reality)_

All activity in the room came to a standstill as waves of energy that they thought they'd been rid of many millennia ago washed over those assembled. The aspects of the Almighty looked at the aspects of Hild and just _knew_ that what they had felt wouldn't bode well for them.

Of course, the stoic Kami-sama was still stoic in the face of the latest development. He was using His terminal connection with Yggdrasil in an effort to locate the energy that could destabilize all of reality as it was known. Being stoic all of the time had its drawbacks, like the inability to improvise with vastly dynamic situations. Such as the one developing under his nose as the Debuggers were reporting that the creatures of Chaos had suddenly disappeared.

All of them, at once, into a portal of pure Chaos energy. The thought that the Bugs had been called away completely escaped His notice as He was trying to deal with the more pressing issue first. Boy, would that come back to haunt Him.

Outside of the 'conference' room, another plot was developing amongst those that remembered Chaos. He was said to be the Balance, making certain that one side could not override the other. Some said that _she_ was just the opposite of Balance, trying to corrupt reality to her whims. Old divisions were renewed, and for the first time since The Beginning Heaven fractured. Not that the forces of The Nightmare could take advantage of the situation as they had the exact same thing happening amongst their ranks.

It came as a surprise when Lind overrode the dimensional barrier protocols, proclaiming her desire to return to her mentor's side. She remembered Chaos the easiest before his sudden disappearance as she had feigned ignorance whenever the Almighty would bring the subject up to test the obedience of His followers. Those that remembered Chaos as the Balance went with her, while those that stayed behind began fighting amongst themselves.

When He locked onto the energy of His enemy, the Almighty was shocked –not that it showed through the stoic façade- to learn that the reality that housed it was the same that was unresponsive to the demand for the very meeting now on hold _and_ the same where His Daughters and Love were. When the master alarm came to life when Lind crossed dimensions with most of the Valkyries and several dozen Gods and Goddesses, something new occurred.

The aspects were brought out of their thoughts by Mister I-Am-Stoic letting loose a strangled noise before planting His face into the floor. Every single one of them had the same thought at that.

"_We're screwed."_

_(Minato Ward)_

"If there is a God He must be punishing us," gravely intoned Setsuna, having returned to her civilian self. She had learned all that she could from the magazine before stepping through her custom portal to the Time Gates. What they showed her was something that was an impossibility; even to those familiar with Quantum Mechanics, Temporal Mechanics, and Sub-space Theory.

The barriers of reality were failing. The would-be Utopia of Crystal Tokyo was long gone, everything beyond tomorrow shrouded in mist and static. Since the barriers were in the process of collapsing, going back in time also became an impossibility as the lines between what has come before and what should not be blurred, confusing the Gates into displaying the here and now only.

With that new information, little as it was, she returned to the Shrine to educate the others on her findings. Stunned silence greeted her declaration that everything they'd worked for had gone up in smoke. Nothing was certain anymore in any way, shape or form. The Senshi despaired before becoming angry, their focus being said magazine and the –though edited- story of the one that was probably responsible for this mess. After transforming back into the Suited Soldiers of Love and Justice . . . seriously, what's with the Sentai vibe here? . . . the now determined group headed out for their next 'mission'.

_(Tendo's)_

Those not in the know were brought up to speed, including Ranma after he hung Nabiki from the coat rack by her bra and informing her that she'd be dealt with later. What protests she could muster died a horrible death as Demon-Head would eat them for breakfast, before returning to the matter at hand.

Everybody present now had a pair of the Debugger Shades, letting them see the one that had claimed the top of Ranma's head for a home. They were surprised when the System Bug, a term learnt from the 'guests', upped the ante on the weird factor by speaking to them.

"_**Greetings humans, Goddesses and Hild-sama,"**_ it sent directly to their minds as their ears picked up nothing but a chittering sound coming from its mouth. The 'voice' also 'sounded' female, giving them a context to work with. _**"I am a Class Five System Bug, one of a handful across the multiverse. Our kind was created at The Beginning, when the Almighty and the Nightmare tried to seal Chaos with Those That Came Before, near the Alpha Prime Point of Existence. When he learned of the trap the pair had laid out for him, the entity known as Chaos unleashed his full power, thusly insuring his survival. We Bugs tap directly into his essence, the Chaos energy that no other being –those of Order- can utilize. He made certain that we are Immortal in every sense of the word, that if we get 'Debugged' from Yggdrasil or Nidhogg our form would simply shift realities, giving the illusion of death. He was the Balance, the third voice over Order and Disorder that kept them in check. When he was sealed, this Balance was lost and the universe nearly tore itself apart. To correct this error, The Order and The Disorder split off every aspect of themselves that they could, creating the multiverse as its known now."**_

"That's wonderful and all, but what does that have to do with me?" groused Ranma, who was having to look into a mirror to see the Bug. The history lesson he wanted to do without, instead he wanted to know what to do so that he could make a plan of attack to get it done.

"_**Nobody could see it before that 'wackiness' as you humans call it. I had moved from my spot on your head, letting the Chaos energy within you flow freely. Where I sit, I feed to my hearts' content but also give the energy focus,"**_ was the reply after the Bug made it a point to hit Ranma as hard as 'she' could. Not that he felt it as the small creature had little physical power. _**"There is a legend out there, that Chaos will return one day. The Angels and Devils know this legend by heart as they are less susceptible to the machinations of The Almighty and the Nightmare. Yes Hild, that legend that you're thinking of. Your aspects and the Almighty have done their best to keep Chaos imprisoned but for one reality: this one. The aspects of you and He grew despondent about a thousand years ago when Marller succeeded in terminating Belldandy thus they restructured the Competition that had arisen to replace Chaos and turned a blind eye to this plane."**_

All eyes fell on the named Goddess, taking in her reaction to learning of the end of one of her selves. When she cocked her head to the right, as if asking what it is they wanted, they turned back to the Bug. Something wasn't adding up here.

"You speak as if there are many of you," stated Urd, her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Just _how_ many Bugs can there be?"

Instead of answering, the Bug lifted a left leg and pointed out a window. Taking the invitation to look for what it was, everybody did so. There was a collective big-sweat at the scene that greeted them.

The Debuggers and Valkyries filled the yard of the Tendo compound, weapons and tools of choice held ready for defense. The mass of bodies was clearly overwhelmed by the mass of Bugs, stacked in formations a thousand high by ten thousand wide. The entire property was surrounded by the creatures of Chaos with no end in sight of the formations. Overhead portals would open to deposit more of the dumber Class One, Two and Three's while the less frequent Class Four's and Five's looked like platoon commanders awaiting orders. The stalemate held firm as the Bugs just sat there, watching the proceedings with interest.

"_**A side effect I believe of leaving my spot was summoning ALL of the Bugs from across the multiverse to this location. They felt the power that resides in you, Ranma, and have come to you,"**_ sent the only Bug indoors, bringing many brains back online. The Rivals slowly backed away from said youth lest they draw the attention of entire armies worth of the eight legged, rabbit headed creatures. The fiancées held their ground, undecided as to which action to take. Kasumi did move closer to Ranma, coming to a halt by his side. The elders moved off to the side, waiting to see just what the boy would do now. Nabiki, still hanging from the coat rack and looking none too comfortable doing so, continued her fight against the call of nature that had been demanding an answer for half an hour.

Then the action started up again as the front gate exploded inwards, revealing the Senshi in all of their glory. Just as they were about to begin spouting off at the mouth with their Sentai speeches and ridiculous poses did another group arrive.

Instead of the midnight black portals that were still dropping Bugs by the thousands appeared one that was a soft blue. This one caused more anxiety than the others as it formed at ground level, facing the Senshi. Said fuku-clad girls, thinking this was a summons and attack of some kind, wasted little time bombarding it with their attacks.

The native Valkyries were stunned speechless as Lind appeared, followed by legions of her Valkyries and those that believed Chaos should be set free to reestablish the Balance. Mana-powered shields sprang up in an instant, blocking the incoming firepower with ease before the melee began.

Magic attacks flew back and forth as the residents watched, dumbfounded at the latest turn of events. Looking at Ranma through the Debugger Glasses revealed that the Bug was still attached to his head, also looking on with wonderment at the carnage. Then they noticed his battle aura, which had become visible and was so strong that it lifted him off of the floor. His ki was extremely dense, turning the soft semi transparent blue into a solid ice white.

Outside, the battle was deadlocked. The Senshi discovered that the shields had limits to them, but it took a lot of firepower to get through them. Just as they were about to launch a combined attack, something behind them made those between them and the house look up in fright. Turning to look, all that they saw was clear skies.

Then the Bugs faded into view, decloaking like a vessel from _Star Trek_.

"_He_ is here," calmly stated Lind to those that could hear her, even though her voice seemed amplified across the now silent battlefield. All eyes fell on the front door to the house, which opened to reveal the subject of a pair of searches.

"What do ya want?" he demanded of the group as a whole, wanting to know who stood where. He did take note that the Debuggers and native Valkyries were gone, having fled at the first signs of conflict.

Remember, this reality has been in stand-by mode for a thousand years. Confidence in one's abilities don't stay on hold while the person is engaged in other activities that don't involve combat.

"Master Chaos?" voiced Lind, before taking note of the shades that those in the house were wearing. Putting on her own pair, she saw the Class Five attached to his head that waved at her in recognition before letting a smile blossom on her face.

"Uh . . . no. Ranma Saotome," he said, not yet understanding that reference. It was bad enough to have read it on that computer screen but to hear it out loud was just silly.

"Dead Scream," intoned Pluto, firing off her attack while her target was distracted. He had nowhere to dodge this time, if the house and its occupants were any indication. She was surprised to see another, much stronger, mana shield appear around the entire house which let him leap out of the way of the ball of temporal flux.

Without a word, one of the formations of Bugs surged forward and smothered the Senshi, a hand or foot waving about in an effort to get free of the sudden ocean of fur and spider legs.

"Oh yeah, bad to worse," grumbled Ranma, taking note that the Bugs reacted whenever he was in danger and perhaps on his thoughts. He'd just been thinking about crushing his opponents for threatening innocents which the Bugs took literally. Trying it out, he mentally thought of letting them up and the Bugs returned to their previous formation.

"Why are you attackin' me?" he demanded once the Senshi were uncovered, all of them looking green around the gills. His voice brought them back to the land of the living as it were, earning death glares from the nine girls.

"Crystal Tokyo . . . you . . . gone!" rambled Moon, her ire trying to shift her mode from child to adult but running into the roadblock of what appeared to be a personal army.

"The future of humanity is uncertain now, since you have somehow destroyed its' one hope," chimed in Pluto, hoping against hope that he might take care of himself if he learned of the fate of the world being shrouded in mystery.

"And?" he deadpanned, not liking the way these girls presented themselves. They almost talked like it was fate for humanity to suffer some great calamity, with them emerging as the rulers, and he didn't like it at all.

"Don't you care?" tried Mercury, seeing where the Mistress of Time was trying to go. Although now that she was in a conversation with the youth she had to agree with some of his views. When it came down to it, just who were they to decide the fate of all?

"You question my honor?" he returned the volley, his laid back look stiffening up considerably. He _did_ care about humanity, just not _fate_ and those that tried to dictate it to him. That's one of the reasons behind fighting his father on the engagement mess and waging war with Akane from time to time. _Nobody_ directed his life but him, even if he was still a bit slow on the uptake to manipulations.

"Of course we do!" nearly screamed Jupiter, knowing most of the honor code that martial artists followed. _Most of_, as she hadn't had time to review the basics since taking up the mantle of a Senshi. That and being led around by Pluto with her 'Crystal Tokyo this and that' had left its mark.

"Ooh, bad idea," came from inside the house yet the speaker wasn't identifiable. Not that the Senshi had time to look or demand what they had meant by it as Jupiter was suddenly on the defensive. She had little trouble keeping up with the moves but couldn't find a hole to exploit.

Ranma was _mad_. He emotional state translated to the visible Bugs as the entire mass quaked and shifted about violently, ready to unleash anarchy. He started out mid-range on his speed as a method of testing just how much skill was there before relying on magic to make up the difference. What he found made him frown as this one, the one whose movements spoke of training in the Art, was actually worse than Akane. That's saying something right there. Sensing that the other Senshi were about to get involved, he decided to end this farce of a battle quickly.

Those indoors watched as he taunted, dodged, and otherwise angered an already angry opponent into making mistakes, such as chasing him as he dancing circles around them. It took a full three revolutions for those watching to realize that the circle was getting smaller, and that the surroundings were getting colder. The Bugs remained in their positions, having been sent information from the one on Ranma's head that they could anchor to each other and the ground creating an immovable object.

"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!"

And there they go, _again_, in the vortex that Ranma created. The ki-powered tornado felt different this time, like he wasn't the cold focal point keeping it going. This turned out to be the case as he picked up a pile of loose stones, then used the Amaguriken to fire them like bullets into the crowd of nine.

Cologne had her eyes narrowed, using her ki-sight to figure out how he was powering the cold side of the Dragon Ascending Blast before nearly toppling over sideways again then cackling madly. He'd done it again, the impossible made possible.

He'd made the technique self-sustaining, using the planet itself as an anchor point. As an added bonus to utilizing the natural ki, everything that was made of or from the earth was left intact. The house, already damaged, was completely untouched by the hurricane force winds not ten feet away. The trees didn't wave a leaf, the outer wall didn't so much as move nor was the grass disturbed by the destruction. She noticed that the Ley Line he'd tapped into came directly from the Arctic, thus the planet-borne ki was _cold_. Very cold.

"Aren't you going to let them down?" asked Akane, her personal heroines currently being battered and beaten while he wandered inside to grab a drink. Kasumi was ready for him, handing him a tall glass of iced tea to combat the hot day. He thanked her while blushing, being reminded of the topic he needed to broach later before sauntering back outside.

"Did you ask me something?" he wondered after downing half of the tea, giving off a sigh of satisfaction. Taking note that more than a few people were looking at him funny, he sighed in frustration before absently flinging some of his ki at the base of the tornado, instantly dissipating the technique.

And allowing the nine girls, completely knocked out, to fall to the ground from five stories up. They made nice human shaped craters and tripped more than a few seismographs upon impact.

Ranma finished his tea, absently tossing the glass at Kasumi who appeared ready for it while watching the crater like a hawk. He wasn't sure if they'd get up for more and was prepared just in case. When no activity was noticed after five minutes, he edged his way closer to the craters and peered inside. The girls were neatly lined up side by side, and out cold. Their transformations dropped from lack of conscious control, revealing their identities to the world.

"Interesting," he mumbled to nobody, being the only one looking into the craters. He _almost_ felt bad for doing this to them, but then remembered that the tall one had dared to question his honor. And that the green haired one had endangered the house and noncombatants without a second's hesitation.

"Oh this is rich," grumbled Urd, causing Ranma to jump as he hadn't detected her approach. She was staring especially hard at Green Hair, to the point of glaring. Taking notice of Lind, she felt a familiar vibe from the Warrior Goddess and turned to her. "You from home?"

"Yes," she confirmed, before her face took on a serious expression. "The Almighty is in conference right now with . . . _them_. Heaven is split, just like at The Beginning. We," she gestured at fifteen legions worth of Valkyries and at least two Pantheons worth of Gods and Goddesses, "felt the wave of Chaos and remembered everything. Those of us were originally opposed to his sealing, having gotten to know him but stayed out of the Conflict at his request. Those that had not been 'born' yet only know of what Kami-sama has told them of Chaos and were immediate in their want to take up arms against him . . . and us."

"Us?" wondered Belldandy, having wandered over to join in on the conversation. She noticed that Holy Bell and World of Elegance were communicating in that way only Angels can with Cool Mint and Spear Mint, occasionally pointing at Ranma. Their silent conversation was apparently loud to the other Angels as the yard became even more crowded with the winged beings as they appeared from their hosts.

"He is preparing for war," Lind replied, taking note that the great number of Angels were beginning to orbit around the boy she'd called Master Chaos. "Before we felt the energy, after your disappearance, He had called me into His office and told me to prepare the Valkyries for a surface attack."

"Surface . . . Earth?!" demanded a shocked Skuld, not understanding the entire situation. She felt uneasy around Ranma since it was revealed that the boy was using Chaos energy. Only one of the Incarnates could do that, and this was the first she'd met. Of course, having heard the back-story from the Bug had opened her eyes to just how low those in power could go. She'd pieced together that if the Aspects had kept Chaos contained in all realities except for this one, then the other Incarnates either never came into being or were terminated, regardless of age.

"Yes. Originally I thought it was a precaution as Marller had completed a coup by sending you here," was the terse response from Lind, her eyes falling on Hild as she delivered the news.

"Marller is a First Generation," calmly stated the Demon Queen, "and remembers Chaos as much as I do. She was a voice of reason after he was sealed, often keeping my head out of the clouds . . . and in a few cases out of my ass. She will probably be here soon, with the others that remember."

"Voice of reason?" snarked Urd, giving the half-lidded glare of disbelief. Marller may have been –and still was- her friend, her oldest companion and confidante. Then a random thought processed and she pointed at herself.

"Yes, her idea. She had the thought that if there was a Hybrid, then the universe wouldn't tear itself apart," sagely said Hild, her eyes looking upwards. "It worked for a while, but a Hybrid has nothing on Chaos, the Maintainer of the Balance. You bought us time while the universe tried to figure out what role you were to play, time to split off our aspects and create the multiverse. The moment it was created you were given a . . . no, _the_ choice."

Now Urd understood and had to wonder what lies she'd been fed and believed in her entire existence. He had told her that the consequence for acknowledging Hild as her mother would shift her persona to Demonic, upsetting the balance. She hadn't understood the balance part until now.

He had made a cornerstone for the universe, and would be damned in a literal sense to let it go . . . let it fall into the hands of His 'enemy' as it were.

Urd made a new choice right then and there, everybody paying attention to her as tears welled up in her eyes. Even Ranma, on the verge of panic because a female was crying in his presence, was paying rapt attention and stopped fishing the unconscious Senshi out of the ground.

"Momma?"

TBC

Ooh! Evil cliffhanger! YES! All righty there folks, it seems my muse has returned in regards to this piece. Not my usual 10k word length but hey, that screamed at me as the finishing point.

Anybody catch the references in there?

Ja!

Finished in Saint George, Utah.


	15. PCPIBLS 3

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Rant: Okay, only one guess to the references. Close, but no. Doesn't anybody recognize the movie lines I used?

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty-Bitty Living Space Arc One Part Two

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

Nabiki huffed, puffed, and failed to get off of the coat rack she'd been hanging from for the better part of an hour. Everybody else had gone outside, leaving her all by her lonesome. Not only did the call of nature get louder while something that she was certain would come back to haunt her later was happening out in the yard, she was in the last place she wanted to be. Not the hanging from the wall via her bra bit, that part she could do without entirely.

She was alone.

She had heard the sounds of combat outside come and go, before the muffled voices began. Whatever it was that was going down out there was something of significance, something that was on the level of world views changing.

And yet, here she was all alone. Even the Angel of Nerima snubbed her and her current peril. She knew it was of her own making; that there would come a time when one of her previous schemes would come back to bite her in the ass.

Given time to think, she reflected on the path she'd chosen up to this point and frowned. That day, eleven years ago when her mother died and her father fell to pieces. When her elder sister gave her life in a figurative sense to take up role of the mother while her younger took up the macho role of the father. It left her in a void, with nowhere to go. Information was key, as she'd always felt if she'd had it maybe she could have made a difference . . .

Ignored by her father, as he saw his departed wife in his eldest and shadows of himself in his youngest, Nabiki did the only thing she could. She lashed out, wanting to forever distance herself from her family and others lest she be left alone again. Kasumi had approached her one day, fretting over the household account being nearly depleted.

The Ice Queen was born.

And at the time, she _had_ wanted it to forever dominate her destiny. Then a new variable –literally- was introduced to her life in the form of Ranma. Her interest at his arrival was more than just lust or looking for a rube to drain dry before finding a way to get rid of.

It was her chance to shine in the spotlight, to have the attention of her father again. That dream came crashing down around her ears when he had turned up female, and demonstrated that his father had been his role model in life. So she did what she did best and retreated to the Ice; looking for ways to capitalize on the mayhem that she just knew would follow.

He injected something into her psyche though, something that she had thought on since his arrival. His scoffed Fate and Destiny, while not quite being able to maneuver himself out of manipulations. He was untamable, the Wild Horse. In the end, he held his word so close to his heart that he was trapped and from her vantage point the tiny hope she had that perhaps one day she could find happiness was snuffed out.

Then she made The Bet. Her worst mistake, period, when she let Kinnosuke die. The money aspect of the entire fiasco wasn't involved in figuring out that she had crossed a line that even Ranma with his prowess would only dare to look at if there were no other options. The day was forever burned into her memory, the poor sod's look as Nabiki popped her parachute and let him fall with the defective one.

Of course Ranma had to be the one to witness the entire thing. There were times she cursed his uncanny knack for bad timing. Then there were times she was grateful for it, not for the entertainment value but for the fact that he reminded her –without trying- that she was just as human as everybody else. That she had faults, wants, needs and desires just like her sisters, her father, his parents, Happosai, the Amazons, Ukyo . . .

Letting out a sigh of regret, Nabiki shifted her position to something at least a little more comfortable. She knew that she'd have to get down soon or she'd make a mess. Kasumi had strolled by her twice without so much as a glance now. Three times she had caught Ranma looking in on her, each and every time his eyes expressed his anger, contempt and borderline hatred. On the fourth look, she made a set of hand gestures that involved her body and liquid to which he caught on. As the conversation didn't pertain to him at the moment he decided to oblige the middle sister by sauntering back indoors.

"What?" his simply demanded, arms crossed over his chest. Internally, he was thankful to be away from the developing scene on the lawn as mother and daughter reunited.

"Bathroom," was all she said by way of reply, her normal taunting tone gone. She almost smiled as he started, surprised by how . . . subservient she sounded. Instead of being lowered to the floor like she thought, it was her turn to be surprised when he casually tossed her over his right shoulder then trekked up the stairs. She started to get nervous when he entered said room, before depositing her on a washroom stool then walking out of the door.

Leaning against the wall in the hallway, across from the door, Ranma was in thought. The day he arrived he had been able to read Nabiki easily. She had looked so hopeful to have a fiancé, but why he hadn't understood. As time progressed and she grew colder, he was enlightened. He observed her interactions with those at school, her family and everybody else to see a young woman nearing adulthood being shunned, snubbed and generally ignored by everybody. The too few conversations he'd had with her filled in many of the blanks, but not all of them.

Eleven years after she started, she was still lashing out at the world. It had mutated from not being able to help her mother to being ignored for not having a role to fill after her passing to being ignored for her reputation despite her need for some attention. Anything would do, he noticed, so long that it was positive. In that regards he found that they were more alike than either would freely admit. Both had little to no praise growing up to the point of being starved for any attention. His honor, thus his word, was one of the parts that entrapped him in his situation.

The attention he got was the other, if not overdone to the point he was questioning why he allowed it.

Hearing a rather loud sigh of relief followed by a flush and the sounds of the faucet running, he pushed himself off of the wall and waited. Within moments she had appeared and judging by the look on her face she wasn't prepared to go back to her previous . . . resting spot.

"Ranma, we need to talk," she said, her entire attitude screaming at him. Not in the usual danger sense, but as she'd used such a submissive tone he began to worry that leaving her on the coat rack might have broken her spirit.

"Yeah," he grunted, before manhandling her back downstairs. "We'll talk but not now," was his parting shot after parking her under the coat rack. This apparently new Nabiki was one that he had doubts he could deal with effectively. And he had to carefully think about what he's seen so far to –hopefully- avoid another manipulation.

Nabiki took the none-too-subtle hint when, while he didn't put her back _exactly_ where she'd been, he did put her in the area. He was willing to give her that much of a warning, and so she slid down the wall to sit and observe.

_(Primary Reality)_

"The Incarnate has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come," said the stoic Almighty, His monotone voice booming across the thinned crowd. A few of the Aspects, the ones He'd dubbed as being 'weak-willed' had fled after He showed emotion. The parts of the Multiverse that they were in charge of were now unresponsive and the barriers were doing something interesting. Those that were gearing up to fight the Chaos Incarnate were being isolated from those that were aligning with the Balance Keeper, making dimensional travel more and more difficult. His own forces were depleted by the defection of the majority of His Valkyries and no less than thirty Gods and Goddesses.

"He wasn't scheduled to return until Ragnarok had begun," intoned the stoic Hild, making for a monotonous but interesting conversation. She had problems of her own, as defections were being reported across the multiverse.

"This is Chaos we're talking about," He returned, almost deadpan. "Perhaps we did make a mistake . . ."

"NO!" roared Angry-Hild, smashing the stoic Almighty over the head with her Unbreakable Bo-staff. "We did the right thing by getting rid of that _disease_! He was nothing but a spoil-sport, never listening to either of us and never letting us do what _we_ wanted!"

"Shut yer hole!" retorted the Angry-Almighty just before smacking Her in the back of the head.

"Regardless," monotoned stoic, "we must gather our forces and attack before the Incarnate gains full access to the realm of Chaos. The Administrators of the reality he is in are undecided as to which side to take and thusly are leaving the barrier wide open."

"Then we attack," came from Evil-Hild. Her voice caused the entire remaining assembly to shudder before Her next words chilled them to the bone.

"_Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!_"

_(Ranma-verse)_

"You know they will come soon," gravely intoned the Hippie-Hild, for once being entirely serious about the situation. She was hoping that Depression-Almighty would get off of His butt and do . . . _something_, anything. Now He was in a funk over allowing a Chaos Incarnate to reach the point of no return. There was still a slim chance that the one named Ranma Saotome could have the energy extracted without terminating his life. The only problem was that a Class Five had masked his existence until just recently, and the energy output revealed that the Incarnate was at the precipice of maturing into Chaos himself.

"Let them come," came the unexpected answer as He rose from His chair. Walking over to a window, He made a decision similar to the one taking place on the mortal plane below. "If we had left good enough alone, none of the pains we've endured would have happened. I'd still have Belldandy and you'd have Urd. Your Aspect has told her the Truth of her existence."

Her eyes widened to their fullest. Urd was _never_ supposed to switch sides. She was the multiverse cornerstone, and if her allegiances changed then all of reality was on the brink of going one of two ways.

Reunification or Destruction.

One of the shadows in His office moved, reminding them that their Holy Bell was still there. Her eyes were boring into the back of the Almighty One's head, before the Angel made her own decision.

Reunification was worth it.

_(Tendo's)_

"Momma?" tested Urd, and nothing happened like she had suspected. She did note that Hild was ecstatic with joy, floating around on cloud nine and swinging Skuld around like a doll.

"Urd," breathed Belldandy, her eyes wide as she too expected the universe to come to an end. When nothing happened, she fell over sideways as a result of shock and the after effects of her drunkenness.

She wasn't the only one, as those that knew of Urd and her rather unique parentage and subsequent role in the multiverse also expected explosions, flying pigs, and Fenrir to rear his head. When nothing of the sort happened, beyond Skuld turning blue from suffocation, did they allow themselves to face vault before becoming angry. They'd been lied to since the Sealing, and were chomping at the bit. Word spread amongst those that were gathered to those that were hiding, which in turn spread across the multiverse as a whole.

A new force was born at that moment. Ranma Saotome, Chaos Incarnate and possible Master Chaos himself, gained a more human-like army of the Divine and the Demonic, male and female. They knew that they had to prepare for an attack that was forthcoming thanks to the few spies they'd left behind. It was difficult at best to fool any aspect of the Almighty that there were no traitors left in His mists so the numbers were indeed small.

And he missed it.

Ranma was confused as to why, upon his return to the yard, most of the 'guests' were angry. Some part of his mind pointed the finger at his ego before realizing that he wasn't even present when whatever caused the mood had happened. Deciding that whatever it was could wait, he finished his previous task of fishing the Senshi out of their craters.

Said Senshi were now among the land of the living, although dazed and confused. It took them a moment to realize that their transformations had dropped, exposing their identities to the rather large crowd of beings. Thus they were not happy campers and reassumed the personas of the old Moon Kingdom.

"Fer cryin' out loud!" yelled Ranma, surprising the Senshi and those hadn't seen the technique before by flooding the surrounding neighborhood with his clones. He had done so subconsciously, not even realizing that he hadn't used ki to create the thousands of himself.

The Scouts had been on a mission to get Crystal Tokyo back. The very future of mankind depended on it, yet now they found themselves literally surrounded by a familiar face. Their target was apparently going to give no quarter this time around, and his possible reinforcements only added to their fears of failing miserably.

Unnoticed, three formations of Bugs had returned to their base energy matrix before flowing into The One. While only a tiny fraction of the total Chaos energy available, he was moments away from full maturity.

While the tension built, indoors Nabiki sat and watched the goings on with interest. Above and beyond all else, she wanted . . . _desired_, to change her life. At the age of eighteen she was tired of being alone, of not allowing anybody close. The time for change was now, before she drove the last compassionate person she knew of away forever.

Her silent prayer, if it could be called that coming from Nabiki, was answered. But not in the way she had expected or even remotely wanted as a new situation arose.

Just as the Senshi were gearing up for the mother of all melee battles, another of those shimmering blue portals appeared. Then another, and yet another. Beings began to flood out of them, for all appearances human yet not.

"Ranma Saotome," a male voice called out in monotone, "you are hereby declared a Heretic to Creation and a danger to the multiverse. Your punishment is death."

As one, every available Bug materialized and launched a surprise counterattack on what was a surprise attack.

The first Battle of Nerima had begun.

The thousands of Ranma clones looked surprised at the latest declaration of the end of his existence before they exploded into motion. He did note that he wasn't alone in the battle, as those that had been transplanted to this reality and those under the command of Lind joined in, fighting those that had just appeared as apparent reinforcements for the Senshi. To his further amazement several dark –blood?- red portals opened and began spilling Demons into the mix. Hild took note of the vibe that some of these were from home, and thus didn't have to give direction to the hundreds that poured into the surrounding streets.

"MOON TIARA ACTION!" screamed a surprised Moon, finding herself in the mists of a massive battle that was drawing more and more people in by the moment. The surprise attack had stunned the Senshi into motionlessness before as a group they let loose an evil smile then joined the fray.

_Against_ Ranma and his associates.

Her tiara sailed through several hundred clones before snagging a necklace off of the kid –if said kid ever heard the reference she'd go nuclear- and flinging what looked like a pearl off of it and into the house.

Directly at a slack-jawed Nabiki, who could only swallow said object before keeling over in pain.

"NNOO! SKULD BOMB MARK XL AWAY!" roared the Goddess of the Future in anger, letting loose a house sized version of her trademark explosive. Upon detonation, several square blocks were left in smoldering ruin, the civilians having figured out to flee a long time ago. Moon was blown skyward in a ballistic arc that would have her landing somewhere in the Drink.

As their leader went to take a swim in the Pacific, the remaining Senshi pulled the stops on their morals and began firing at anything that threatened them. The answer was a barrage of mana attacks, interspersed with Moko Takabishas from all directions effectively pinning them down. Returning fire as quickly as she could, Pluto fired her Dead Scream like a machine gun. The smaller, yet no less powerful, attacks were primarily absorbed by the mana shields that these newcomers employed.

"_Sparkling Wide Pressure!_" yelled out Sailor Jupiter, sending her attack into a crowd, not particularly caring if she hit allies along with enemies. It was just so difficult to tell friend from foe on the battlefield. With her attack having gone one way, she wasn't prepared to be attacked from the rear by a yo-yo.

"_Burning Mandela!_" was the answer from Mars, igniting many in her quest to fry Mousse. Her fire attack plowed through a line of people, scattering many and dispelling a few clones.

"_Silence Glaive Surprise!_" cried out Saturn, finding herself on the verge of being overrun. Instead of their primary target she'd been corralled by a group of Demons. She was the first to draw blood, and the first to point out a very interesting fact.

The Doublet System was offline.

With this new information, the battle cranked up a notch. Weapons of choice were pulled and the bloodbath began.

Hild, seeing yet not believing that the Almighty would be _that_ stupid, upped her own ante by removing her hair ties. To many the ties were decorations, but they were in fact power limiters. When she removed them, her power level increased to somewhere in the neighborhood of ten Saffrons.

She was met head on by Stoic-Almighty, He too having removed an equal number of limiters. The pair threw mana attacks at each other before locking hands and trying to overpower the other.

Both paused when a roar went up, signaling a kill. Turning to look off to Hild's left, they were shocked by what they saw.

Up on the Tendo wall, Belldandy blinked before looking over her left shoulder to find Holy Bell looking just as perplexed. Their eyes looked in the open front door to confirm that indeed Nabiki wasn't there and that they were in fact seeing double.

The God, one Ares of many in the battle, under the command of Stoic was surprised to find himself done in by such a ruthless manner. He'd thought this human to be easy prey and had dragged her out here to demonstrate proper war techniques. After tossing her about, he went to finish her off to find a naginata thrust through his neck.

By an Angel. Not just any Angel, but _her_.

Using the implanted pole-arm, Dark Holy Bell shifted her weight to throw Ares while giving the blade a twist severing his head from his body. Handle pointed down afterwards, she trust it into the ground in defiance and as a challenge to any that wanted to tangle with her . . .

As where her legs would be disappeared into Nabiki's back, effectively pinning the middle sister to the ground, the handle of the naginata inches away from the ribs in her right side. Not that she was in any shape to complain, as blood trickled out of her mouth and nose.

Seeing one he cared for, even if only marginally, hurt sent him over the edge. The Bugs felt the pull and complied.

"_Chaotic Rebirth!_" roared an atomic Ranma, his clones having been reabsorbed. Said Bugs minus the one attached to his head turned into energy before flowing into his being like a river. He hadn't a clue where the technique came from, nor did he particularly care at the moment.

The enemy Gods and Goddesses were blown away by the explosion of Chaos energy, a mushroom cloud rising towards the sky. The few clouds that had been lazily drifting by were removed from sight by the shockwave.

"He's baaaack," intoned Fun-Hild, before letting loose her approximation of an evil laugh. She disengaged her target as the battle was paused for the moment before carefully approaching the smoldering battle aura that was Ranma.

"_**Death is only the beginning**_," he said, his voice carrying across the now silent neighborhood. The only ones that understood him, however, were the Divine and Demonic as he spoke in the Ancient Tongue. "_**Wherever there is Death, there is Rebirth. Wherever there is Order, there is Disorder. Good to evil, light to dark, yin to yang. Wherever there is life and free will, there is CHAOS**__!_"

With the final word, the being that was Ranma flung his arms wide and formed a mandela of epic proportions. The Aspects of the Almighty and those of Hild –minus the one that had apparently switched sides- backed away in fear. Even though he was of the Trinity, Chaos had a long standing grudge and was about to begin returning his torment in kind.

"_Silence Wall!_" panicked Saturn, her magic senses going absolutely haywire. Turning to the remaining Senshi, she did feel a small amount of relief seeing that she wasn't the only one to note the power that was being unleashed.

"Oh crap," muttered Urd, her shoulders sagging noticeably. She had taken it upon herself to fetch the downed Tendo girl and bring her over to Belldandy for healing. Turned out to be a good thing too when she collapsed from having to use all of her magic to repair the damage done by Ares.

"_**Come to me, DARK SERAPHIM**__!_"

The mandela flared brightly, blinding those that were watching. When they could see again, all sides of the conflict took note of a second person with Ranma.

"Chaos' personal guard," gasped Hild, her eyes growing wide. If there was any doubt that he was back and none too happy with their last meeting than this erased it. He _never_ summoned the Fallen Angel unless he was about to . . .

"SEEK SHELTER!" screamed a frightened and injured Ukyo. Whatever had happened to Ranma could wait. Unnoticed to those that were his opponents, he had been making hand gestures in the direction of those he cared about. She pulled back, favoring her left leg while dragging an unconscious Akane behind the Tendo wall.

"Seraphim, let's _party_," said Ranma before springing into action again. His primary target being a second Ares as he had his own brand of justice to dispense. This was enough to restart the paused battle, just as intense as it was before.

The seven foot tall, dark colored Angel of Death smirked before launching himself into the fray. It felt good to be in action again and he was going to take full advantage of it.

"_Kijin Raishu Dan__: Amaguriken Revised!_" mowed down several of the War Gods that were trying to protect Ares. The attack had been lethal, as those that took the attack wouldn't rise again.

Nerima was a warzone, as both armies collided in a swirl of arms, legs, weapons, wings and tails. The JSDF watched in awe as both sides were fighting for domination, attacks of every variety being tossed at each other, the blood flowing like water. The greenhorn troops were already being ill in the latrine, while the seasoned veterans shifted about uncomfortably. They had standing orders to break up the melee but had yet to find a way to execute said orders. Something in the battle dynamic had changed during the pause, and just as they were about to intervene a massive shield of some kind had sprung up over the entire district.

As it was discovered, it let people out but not in. Civilians were still fleeing from the outer fringes as another massive explosion rocked the entire Tokyo Metroplex. Those inside that were fighting would bounce off of the shield instead of flying through it, much to the relief of the greenhorns. If this mess was self-contained, then all they had to do was assist the refugees and let the battle go as it will.

Then try to figure out how to contain the victor, whichever powerhouse it might be, _without_ the shield.

Stoic-Almighty was still stoic in the face of the latest event, at least on the outside. On the inside, he was afraid. This wasn't even a precursor to Ragnarok, as that event was scheduled for fifteen million years from now. But now that Chaos had been reborn, every carefully laid plan and manipulation to the outcome of the Final Battle had gone out the window. It was the one thing the Hild Aspects were never told.

The Sealing was a ruse, to hide Chaos until Twilight of the Gods. Then He would offer freedom in exchange for him to tip the scales in His direction. A simple plan, one that He should have known was doomed to failure when Chaos dispersed what he could of himself and created the Bugs before the core essence was sealed away near Those That Came Before.

He needed time to strategize and formulate a new plan of attack. Time to try to fix this disaster before it spun totally out of control.

"_For the Child . . ._"

Time he didn't have as Dark Seraphim launched a massive attack into the battle, hitting every enemy in sight yet leaving his allies alone. Many were lost in the mana explosion, leaving Him with but one option.

"Retreat! FALL BACK!"

Order Zero, Chaos One.

The blue portals reappeared as the forces of Order withdrew from the engagement; the Senshi running off after losing their support. Ranma watched them go while surveying the damage. All in all, one of the more destructive battles in an urban area he'd ever participated in. While the Tendo place was undamaged, standing like a fortress of lore, the ten square blocks surrounding it were flattened to the ground. Bodies of the combatants lay virtually everywhere. Valkyries, Gods, Goddesses, Demons, Angels, Devils, Cologne . . .

Wait a minute.

"Hiba-chan?" prodded Shampoo, who was nursing her right leg. While most of her wounds were minor, she did have a couple that if left untreated in the foreseeable future could cripple her for life, such as her mangled left shoulder.

Cologne had been overwhelmed in the assault by a group of uninformed Divine. While she had taken many of them down, their sheer numbers had been her downfall. The one that had killed her hadn't survived long, taking the pogo stick/attitude adjuster through her skull.

Ranma took note of this, his eyes narrowed in anger. While lacking the memories of the original Chaos, he had some fragments floating around in his head. The Order had wanted to do away with free will as those that had it used it irresponsibly. At least according to Him. Hild wasn't left an option at the time of the Sealing; Seal or Be Sealed had been the ultimatum. She knew that without free will those beings of Order would have a very difficult time growing and adapting to life in general. He wanted clones of His followers, who never questioned His word as anything less than Law. He could truthfully care less about worshippers, insofar as individuals. All He cared about was that they kept Chaos and 'evil' under wraps at all times and thusly labeled anything that didn't conform to His desires in the other two categories.

It was a setup, Ranma realized. The Almighty had set up Hild to look like she _wanted_ the Sealing in a coup to take over the realm of Chaos. No doubt He was the mastermind behind the whole thing in a self-righteous quest to mold all of reality as He saw fit. After all, beings of Order can't stand beings of Chaos and vice versa, even though the two balance each other.

Turning away from Shampoo as she broke down from losing the last of her family, his hearing picked up the moans of those that were still living but unable to help themselves. He didn't find anybody else that was prominent in his life, to which he breathed a sigh of relief. Taking a harder look around, this time with the Shades as he'd come to call them on, he wondered where the Bugs had gone. Off in the distance he added the sirens wailing in the surrounding city on the Bad side of the whole debacle, along with the occasional bomber that flew overhead.

At the Tokyo-perimeter of the shield, a different conflict was taking place. On the outside looking in were platoons worth of soldiers, weapons drawn and ready for action. On the inside looking out were the Senshi, confused as to why now of all times the JSDF would get involved. Neither side could do much of anything as the shield refused to let the Soldiers of Love and Justice out and anybody with a weapon in. Medics had been streaming in from other entry points, surprised that whatever had created the dome was able to tell the difference from humanitarian aid and machines of war.

"He's a madman!" tried Pluto, hoping that the troops would let them go if they thought the Senshi were on their side.

"You're not going anywhere," deadpanned a Sergeant. "You're wanted in connection with property destruction and several deaths in Minato Azabu Juuban, and are under arrest."

"Damn it," growled Uranus while shifting her weight from foot to foot. Restraint was key here as whatever force was preventing them from escaping Nerima had a habit of trying to electrocute her fellow warriors.

"Feh, like you could stop us," taunted Pluto before waving her Garnett Rod in the air. The soldiers had tensed up while the Senshi, oddly minus a member, smirked in victory.

As nothing happened.

"What?" demanded the Senshi of Time, trying several more times to form her custom portal. The troops of the JSDF were laughing openly at her failures, further angering her. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"Looks like somebody else doesn't want to let you go," mocked the Sergeant, the laughter reaching his eyes.

While the Senshi were trying to either talk their way out of being arrested or finding a way to escape capture, those at the Tendo Dojo were tallying the damages and trying to heal the wounded. Doctor Tofu had appeared at random, which worked in favor of the mortals. He was inundated with the injured, working fast and furious to repair what he could.

Shampoo looked like a zombie now, her eyes glazed over from emotional trauma. Her left arm was in a sling after Tofu had done everything he could to fix her shoulder, while her right leg was wrapped from foot to hip to prevent the sword slash she'd taken from becoming infected.

Ukyo wasn't much better off, her head bandaged after a mace had split the skin open. Her left leg was similarly wrapped, while her right ankle was sporting an ice pack to keep the swelling down. She had no vision in her right eye, as it was swollen shut and until the said swelling went down Tofu had no idea if the eye itself had taken any damage.

Akane, being the premiere martial artist she believed herself to be, was staring blankly at the end of her right elbow and the space that was the arm that was supposed to be there. Her ribs were bound tightly to prevent excessive movement and promote healing in their previous shape. She was laying on the floor, trying to ease the pain she felt whenever she took a breath. Tofu had been relieved when she wiggled her toes, and felt the needle he used prick the skin on her feet, revealing no spinal damage.

Kodachi was missing, presumed captured and possibly dead. The lower half of her body had been found six blocks away at one of the portal points, the flesh completely cauterized preventing any blood loss from the cooling legs.

Tatewaki was stoic in the face of the possible demise of his sister. His gaze was at no particular object, having been blinded when a mana/phisogue attack had collided then exploded close to his face. Both of his legs were in splints, having been trampled when the attackers vacated en masse.

Mousse had his own set of problems. Sometime between the fire attack he'd dodged and the end of the battle one of the Senshi had gotten a lucky shot in, crushing his glasses into his face and eyes. He knew he was parked next to Kuno, but beyond that and the fact that he couldn't feel anything below his waist he had no idea as to what was going on. He could feel his body slowly shutting down from his wounds, and knew that sooner or later he would die.

Ryoga had gotten lost in the melee, and his condition was unknown. Ranma knew it would take a lot to do the Lost Boy in since he'd had the body conditioning of the Bakusai Tenketsu and held hope that he'd surface alive and well.

The fathers were busy tending to the younger sisters Tendo with help from Kasumi, while eyeing Nabiki warily. The dark aspect of Holy Bell was watching the proceedings with interest, guarding her impromptu host while at the same time communicating to the other Angels.

The Mandela was still present and glowing, being a multi-use tool. Being tapped into one of the Ley Lines it had an infinite power source which in turn powered the shield that those with ki abilities could sense. There were actually two shields, one that followed the border of Nerima to the inch, keeping the destruction limited to the district while a second barrier took up the ten square blocks around the Tendo Dojo. There were medics from the JSDF fluttering about the inner shield, trying to find an entry point and failing miserably. This shield wouldn't let them in much to their surprise and dismay as there might be casualties within.

The allies, as they were being called, were busy themselves with the clean up and recovery. They had taken to rebuilding the neighborhood into a fortress and living quarters as until the conflict was resolved there was no going home.

This left a much smaller group at the Tendo Dojo, all interested in the latest bout of mayhem that Ranma had unleashed if unintentionally.

"I want my Angel Egg!" cried Skuld, throwing a tantrum of epic proportions. Why this dark Holy Bell had appeared instead of Noble Scarlet she had no idea, and quickly put thoughts of the Egg out of her mind as said Holy Bell pulled something out of her wings.

"KAWAII!" shouted those gathered that could see the tiny form of Noble Scarlet as the Angel flew over to her bondmate. The little Angel, still a newborn in relative terms, looked shy and bashful at all of the attention she was receiving as the females gushed at her cuteness.

Dark Seraphim took note of the little Angel and had to smile at the vibes she was giving off. Behold the power of a child Angel, making a Fallen smile in joy.

Ranma also smiled in amusement, liking the way the tiny Goddess companion was draining the tension out of the situation. He noticed that Nabiki was beginning to stir and felt his ire return. Not directed at her for once, but at those that deemed his –noncombatant- associates as targets for termination. Guilt followed soon afterwards, at his inability to protect those under his charge as it were. Glancing at Akane reinforced the notion of guilt he felt as he gazed up her disfigured form, seeing that she was still in shock after losing half of her right arm. Taking in the others amplified the guilt and turned it depression, especially Kuno and Mousse of all people. There were certain things he'd never wish on anybody, no matter how annoyed he became at their antics.

Cologne and Kodachi were part of that list, and he'd never get the chance to set things right with the former and quite possibly the latter. Then there's this whole Chaos business that threatened to drive the rest of his sanity away. Feeling tense from the resent battles, knowing that the war was far from over, coupled with the losses had crushed his already crumbling morale.

"If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?" suddenly voiced Nabiki, her usual observation skills being the first to note his emotional state. This caught the attention of the others, effectively bringing them down from the kawaii-high they'd been on.

"Truth about what?" he asked absentmindedly while lost in a downward spiral that could very well lead to self-destruction.

"Me," she answered while crawling over to him. She wasn't quite strong enough from her recent beating and healing to stand yet but had enough willpower to force herself to move in his direction. When she stopped, she was thankful for already being on the floor and not having to move into a bowing position. The decision she'd made when she first awoke in a massive amount of pain was going to change the lives of the Tendo Dojo forever.

"Go on," he prompted, ignoring her attempt at the 'Crouch of the Wild Tiger'. This look was not her in any way, shape or form especially while injured. He was tempted to move her back to the futon that she'd been resting on courtesy of Kasumi but refrained as whatever she had to say was apparently important.

"I'm tired," she began, not bothering to lift her head as vertigo from her recent movement was settling in. "I'm tired of being alone. So very tired of the Ice Queen, of never knowing happiness. You figured me out, didn't you?"

"Partially," he admitted, "in the time I've been here I've noticed things about you . . . your entire family. I still don't understand much, but I've always hoped that one day you'd leave your old life behind and find joy."

"Though I'm closer to wrong I'm no further from right," she said to herself, confirming her decision and running with it before addressing Ranma again. "I . . . I . . . I love you."

_THUD!_

That would be a massive face vault from those listening in on the conversation. Even the Angels ate some flooring at that proclamation, the noise breaking the moment much to Ranma's relief and Nabiki's chagrin.

"What?" he asked in stunned disbelief, hearing but not comprehending the words. Nobody had said those words to him with such conviction, such truth, such honesty. Kuno didn't count because he's a lunatic.

"You heard her," chimed in Kasumi, her smile more vibrant than usual. This was the sister she remembered from so many years ago, one that was so full of compassion and not the anger of not being able to help their mother. "And she's not alone in that regard."

"Are you absolutely certain about this?" demanded Ranma, waving his arm in the general direction of the surroundings. "You heard Him, I'm not supposed to exist. From their actions alone, anybody that even knows of me will be hunted down like animals."

"We sure," spoke Shampoo for the first time since the end of the battle, her glazed look being replaced by one of righteous fury. She had an idea of where the Mercenary-Girl was going with this and as the middle Tendo had she made her own decision. "Wo Ai Ni."

Ranma found himself clustered by those closest to him, while the transplants looked on in awe as The One firmed his resolve.

While the outlook was one of a long, drawn out struggle for survival and the chance to set things straight, for the moment no outside force could stop them.

He smiled a genuine smile, his eyes on the sunset. Heaven and Hell be damned, he was his own person with his own destiny. Let them try to stop him.

He was Chaos reborn. And he was on a mission . . .

TBC

Good stopping place, I think. Don't know exactly where the darker aspect of this fic came from but hey, have to add some intrigue to keep the wackiness to a more believable level.

**Next up: Dealing with the Senshi. They still want Crystal Tokyo, refusing to accept that free will is of more importance than their desires for a utopia for humanity. And when Ranma learns the truth of the Cataclysm that spawns the utopia . . .**

**Pain.**

On a side note, I used Wikipedia for research. If any of you Fuku-Fic people read this, for the love of God go over there and correct the attacks section. It's so . . . lacking.

Ja!

Finished in Polk City, Florida


	16. PCPIBLS 4

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

No rant here, even though some questions have been raised that make me think.

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty-Bitty Living Space Arc One Part Three

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

"What?" again wondered a dumbfounded Ranma as the proclamations of love where issued. He'd noticed that it was difficult for those that had been injured to move in his direction to offer support, which earned them a frown for their efforts. Ukyo –mostly- and Shampoo –not as much- were fretting about scaring so moving about and straining the wounds was a bad idea in his mind. He did note that Akane was still silent even though Skuld was in the process of performing her 'magic' and creating a mechanical prosthetic that, when finished, would be almost impossible to tell from real flesh and bone.

"Go away," she grumbled at his approach, her voice devoid of any emotion and her gaze flat. The battle was nothing like she'd ever experienced and had no desire to do so ever again. It had put much into perspective for the youngest Tendo, from how precious life actually is if Shampoo's reaction to the death of Cologne was any indicator to how truthfully lacking she was in the Art. She had leapt head-first into the fray, her 'I'm a martial artist too!' drawing the attention of several Valkyries. The warrior Gods and Goddesses had toyed with her, allowing her to think that even with her strength and supposed invincibility she stood a chance. Then they got serious, and smashed her into the ground. She'd flailed about, trying to hit something when one of them –she wasn't sure who- sliced the lower part of her right arm off before bludgeoning the back of her head with the handle of their sword. That was the last thing beyond pain that she remembered, and it bothered her.

"RANMA!" roared Demon-Head Soun at seeing his youngest suffering, "HOW DARE YOU . . ."

"Don't even start Bi-Pedal Fountain Man," grumbled Ukyo, shifting her fiancé behind her. "Who was in charge of her training?"

With that the Tendo Patriarch Waterworks Plant went into overdrive, threatening to flood the lower level of the house. Mostly he was ignored, once he was manhandled outside to water the yard.

"Look Akane," tried Ranma after sitting down next to her and avoiding the torrent of water, "I'm sorry about this whole mess. I failed you _again_, failed to keep you safe."

"Damn it Ranma, I'm a martial artist too!" she sobbed, using her left hand to slap him in the face. "If only you . . . _somebody_ . . . would take me seriously! I don't need protection from _anyone_ or _anything_!"

"Yer old man fumbled yer training, y'know?" he stated, before pointing at her oldest sister. "Kasumi has a better defense than you do, not that anybody would _dare_ attack her without fear of bringing the entire district down on their head. You want to know why I never fought back? Because yer defense is sorely lacking. Observe." Turning to the eldest Tendo daughter, he barked at her like she was a student. "Tai Chi, all of the forms you know. Start slow and increase speed accordingly."

Those that weren't in the know were surprised when Kasumi complied, immediately dancing around the living room with grace and power. They were further amazed when Ranma played the part of the untrained thug, being blocked at every attempt to thwart her posture. As she went faster, so did he to demonstrate that when applied properly even the soft Tai Art became an impenetrable wall. Then he upped the ante further, really getting into the light spar that had erupted when Kasumi applied some Anything Goes to it.

Ranma was surprised when after a block, she twisted her arms to grab his before beginning an Aikido-style throw. She further surprised him by instead of letting go and sending him flying, she completed the arc and slammed him into the floor shoulders first, his chin touching his chest.

"Finish him!" taunted Nabiki from her spot on the floor, seeing that Ranma was now frozen in that posture with his legs standing straight up as his eyes looked up Kasumi's dress.

There was a flutter of cloth, the movement having masked a ripping noise, that signified a clone in movement. This clone, named Belldandy in her _much_ shorter skirt as compared to Kasumi, obliged the command by kicking Ranma in the gut, laying his body flat on the floor before trapping his head between her thighs.

"FATALITY! PERFECT K.O.!" came the judgment from Nabiki, having noticed a pair of sky blue panties that had been snagged by a wayward floorboard and thus removed from their owner.

The 'knockout' lasted for all of two seconds before his appendages went wild in several directions at once in an effort to free himself. Belldandy herself was frozen as her brain was registering skin-to-skin contact in an area that was off-limits to unauthorized users, along with his breathing whenever he exhaled.

The Bug, unnoticed, had vacated its spot again to watch the carnage just before his head became one with the floor. 'She' didn't mind being the last of her kind since the assimilation had taken place. She was left due to being the First Bug, the one that housed the memories of the original Chaos; memories that he wasn't ready for.

Hild reached in with the intent of extracting Ranma while allowing Belldandy to remain in her current position. This backfired when a flailing right arm socked her in the face, twisting her body to the left only to be kicked in the rump. The kick had little power, however the shock of the maneuver was enough to propel her across the room to make a nice head-sized hole in the wall. On her way passed a shell-shocked Urd, the Great Demoness had reached out to find a handhold and managed to get a fistful of hair. Letting out a squawk of indignation at the rough treatment as she tumbled backwards, her left leg shot upwards to kick Skuld in the chest and one of her magic pills sailed in the direction of a freed –and slack-jawed- Ranma. As the youngest of the Norn sisters went flying, Noble Scarlet tried to apply flight control but her tiny wings had no lifting power resulting in the pair sailing out the front door and into the Soun sprinkler system. The wrap that made her lower body had snagged the table in her passing, sending it airborne yet again. This time Light Holy Bell and World of Elegance avoided the surprisingly heavy piece of furniture. The Angel of Urd crashed headlong into Dark Seraphim, her black hair, wing and body pattern acting like camouflage while the Angel of Belldandy crashed headlong into her counterpart. The three Angels and single Fallen went down in a tumble of arms, wings, wraps and one pair of legs. Feathers exploded outwards like a pillow fed to a solid steel fan set on high, causing Nodoka to sneeze which resulted in her losing her grip on the sheath of her katana. The weapon took off like a bullet, aimed tip first at the posterior of a Panda-fied Genma. He was too busy stuffing his face with bamboo to notice the approach of the sheathed katana until it bulls-eyed the target. Going airborne himself at the attack to his rear, what would have been yet another '_**PANDA DOWN!**_' –or quite possibly a '_**HEY!**_'- sign was instead unintelligible gibberish. When his head impacted the ceiling, he fumbled the sign which followed the path of the Goddess of the Future to nail Soun in the groin in a physics-defying display.

While he yelled about joining his departed wife in soprano, those that had not yet been affected by the recent bout of chaos laid themselves flat on the floor.

All that Ranma could do was laugh nervously –and blushing madly-, thankful that those that were injured in the battle hadn't been drawn into the madness. Then he swallowed . . .

_(Abandoned compound, Nerima outer perimeter)_

The Senshi felt the need for airtime . . . wait, gotta restart that.

The Senshi had taken refuge in one of the many now abandoned houses in the outskirts of the district, between the new fortress that was under construction at a mad pace and the outer shield which was keeping the military out. It had been difficult at best to lose the medics that had followed them around, no doubt under orders to report their position. Having sealed the house they occupied, and wondering just _who_ lived in a house this large so full of booby-traps, excessively large quantities of pineapples and a giant alligator, six of the nine Senshi turned to glare at their leader. Moon had wandered back into Nerima, surprising the military when the shield let her in. The extra large tuna that was attached to her head may have had something to do with it, however said tuna was vaporized as she passed through the magical construct that was preventing any escape so nobody could attempt to use it.

The group was down two members, Mercury and Saturn having gone to the fortress in an effort to determine numbers, supplies, fortifications, weaknesses, entry points and if an opportunity presented itself termination of their primary target. They were also tasked with scouting the surrounding area, insuring that all of the civilians had been evacuated from the district.

"Well at least we're all here," weakly laughed Usagi, her right hand scratching the back of her head sheepishly.

"Like that does us any _good_," grumbled Rei, both taking a potshot at their 'fearless' leader and reminding said leader that escape was impossible for the moment. She had voiced her opinion that if their target were to be terminated, the shield should disappear as it reeked of his ki.

Heh, pitiful Senshi-humans! They know nothing!

"Knock it off," demanded Setsuna, waving her Garnet Staff around like a pointer. "We need the intel that Ami and Hotaru have gone off to get before deciding anything and fighting amongst ourselves will only give our location away."

While their 'meeting' went nowhere in a hurry, the two that were scouting the lay of the land were having difficulty doing so. They'd almost been caught several times by either those that were participating in the construction of the fortress, roaming sentries or the medics of the JSDF that were confirming the area cleared out. What they could see of inside the construct confused them as the local fauna had a growth spurt; everything was a rich shade of whatever its respective color was from the leaves in the trees to the varieties of flowers. The standing water they could see was crystal clear, apparently clean and fresh. It confused the pair as something like this could only happen one of two ways.

Either somebody on the inside was sprucing the place up or the planet itself was rejoicing. For the second to occur something of great magnitude had to have happened to make Earth herself demonstrate her joy and the thought that the planet itself was siding with their target made them uneasy. This wasn't supposed to happen until the thaw following the Great Freeze. If there was 'competition' for a bastion of humanity this place was taking shape as the front runner.

Without killing off the majority of the same humanity.

Looking at each other, the pair came to a silent conclusion. _This_ was the path they wanted; this was the path of least resistance and greatest returns without harm coming to too many beings. They had primarily held out of the massive battle that had destroyed much of the inner district of Nerima, preferring to observe the reaction of the factions after Hotaru had gotten away from the mob of demons.

Dissention in the ranks of the Senshi had been running strong for a while now, after the first time they had met Ranma Saotome. Pluto was doing her best to keep her hooks in the noses of the others; a couple of the Inners and Saturn minus Moon were coming to realize that the 'ideal' of Crystal Tokyo had corrupted the Mistress of Time. Uranus and Neptune were lost causes as they'd been around the oldest Senshi to the point of following her blindly. Mars and Jupiter were still leaning towards the teachings of Setsuna, however for once they were keeping an open mind and not making wild leaps of logic. Venus was in league with Mercury and Saturn to the point that if a chance presented itself she'd defect to Ranma's cause.

What Moon had no idea of when she ordered this scouting mission –nor did she notice the ease in which she had volunteers- she was sending those that didn't want ninety-eight percent of the population to die in a disaster that they could prevent straight into his sphere of influence. There was spectacular evidence that the planet herself was choosing sides and said evidence cemented the decision that the pair had made.

Retreating back to the mansion, uncaring if they picked up a tail this time around, they set their plan in motion.

The Senshi as a whole were over, caput, finished, done, insert favorite descriptor here.

_(Tendo's)_

"Hmmm?" wondered Urd as she noticed one of those that had stayed as a perimeter guard waving her outside. Mentally she was taking stock of the magic spells in pill form she never traveled without and was constantly coming up one short. Taking in the report from the Valkyrie, she took off in the direction indicated with several other Gods and Goddesses.

Ranma, not knowing he'd swallowed the missing pill, was stumped as to what to do now. Three words were suddenly burning to be released, three words that he dared not utter lest he was one hundred percent certain he meant them. The Bug, again nestled in his hair, was busy telling him about the uses Chaos energy had as well as proper techniques on how to use it. He saw the mass exodus but put it out of his mind as whatever it was apparently didn't deserve his attention. He was uncomfortable with the role he suddenly found himself thrust into, and the sheer number of females flocking around him was triggering his danger sense. He just knew that sooner or later another free-for-all would break out amongst his fiancées, regardless of previous injuries that were being mended whenever Belldandy woke up.

It was slow work for her, having so many wounds to heal. Some of them she could do nothing about such as Mousse, Kuno, and Akane's arm. Her heart went out to the three, although Kuno had his servant fluttering about him now. Sasuke had reported that Coo-coo . . . um, Kocho Kuno had fled the district with the civilians, unawares of the fate of his children. Tatewaki had scoffed, proclaiming rather loudly that it was typical behavior for his father to run away when the situation got hot.

" _**. . . suffer some side-effects if you should ever be affected by a Divine spell**_," said the Bug, bringing Ranma back to the here and now. Belldandy had changed her clothes from the dark-brown skirt-suit she'd been wearing for one that was red and had a tan trimmed in red overcoat that almost reached the floor after the incident, to which he now had to talk to two of them about undergarments and making him say hello to kitties.

"**Just what kind of side-effects**?" he sent back mentally, taking this style of conversation as a challenge. It was difficult for him to maintain the level of concentration needed for a clear 'signal' to be received by the recipient.

"_**For instance, if one were to use an amplification spell on you**_," she stated, her own internal warning system going off, "_**instead of the desired effect of say, a hundred times it would be more like a hundred **__**thousand**_._** The intended effect would also be corrupted, creating something completely different from whatever the original spell was.**_"

"Whoa," he gawked out loud, spooking those that had no idea he was in a conversation; that his concentration had been broken. Many interests were piqued now that he'd spoken out loud, and a freshly-healed Nabiki was the first to put her interest to voice.

"What's so amazing?" she wondered while mentally asking herself if he'd gone a little deeper into Insanity-ville. The old Ice Queen persona was trying to come back to the surface however the new, subservient side was firmly entrenched. She'd made her choice and by all that was Ranma she was going to stick with it.

"Oh, not much," he sheepishly replied while his right hand scratched the back of his head. "My . . . companion," he pointed at the space above his head for emphasis, "was just telling me that being hit with a magic spell now would be a Bad Thing."

The others could hear the capital letters in the last two words and they all nodded in agreement with no small amount of stupefaction. The residents of Nerima were weirded out by this Master Chaos business the 'guests' were throwing out at random and were suddenly treated to a new variety when he spoke again.

"How could I not see it before?" he wondered in awe, using his left index finger to gently lift Nabiki's face upwards towards his own by her chin. "Yer beautiful. Nabiki, I love you."

_WHAM!_

The noise wasn't the expected face vault, however. Instead, the three little words that he'd fought tooth and nail had surfaced and the results were most interesting. Nabiki passed out from the force of the words slamming into her heart, going down in a heap with swirly eyes and 'I Love You' clouds floating around her head. Her cheeks had a blush that threatened to ignite the floorboards her face now rested on.

"Oh my," chimed in Kasumi, before finding Ranma giving her face a similar treatment, being so gentle in getting her to look him in the eyes. She was almost instantly lost in those blue orbs, the love and compassion pouring forth like a river.

"I love you."

_WHAM!_

Down she goes, victim number two. Hearing a grunt of dissatisfaction, he went to correct his error with Ukyo. Within moments she was off in lala land as number three. Shampoo made a noise –she'd deny it was a whimper- that earned her a fate like the others.

Ranma was on a roll now, mowing down the women in the house with ease. Akane, Belldandy, Skuld, and Hild weren't left out. Whatever had caused this was unimportant to his mind while his passenger was sweating bullets. The Bug now knew why her senses were going berserk and she wished she could've seen this one coming. Even his mother fell victim to the "I Love You" attack before Sprinkler Soun tried an old tactic to snap the boy out of these bouts of insanity.

Now it was the men's turn to suffer as Ranma-chan unleashed a barrage of the new attack, inducing unconsciousness with such ease that she was suddenly left alone in the house. Deciding to see what would happen if she tried this with Urd whenever she got back, she went into the kitchen to get some hot water before wandering outdoors to see if it affected the Valkyries.

_(Abandoned Mansion-formerly Kuno Estate)_

"Damn it!" roared Uranus as she dodged another mana attack. She was mad that Mercury and Saturn had been so careless as to lead those opposed to the cause of Crystal Tokyo straight to their hiding place. Something was wrong however as the mentioned Senshi had already surrendered to the enemy, taking Venus, Mars and Jupiter with them.

"MOON TIARA ACTION!" came the attack phrase from yonder maiden, throwing it like a Frisbee at anything that moved. She hadn't noticed the ease with which her 'guard' had given up the fight, instead focusing on the fact that they had been captured at all and was trying her hardest to free them.

"Dead Scream," came from Pluto, only to watch as her attack was absorbed by a mana shield. The answer to the attack was devastating, destroying a good portion of the property they'd claimed as their own.

"Depth Charge Descent!" proclaimed Urd, thoroughly annoyed that the rest of the Senshi wouldn't see reason and surrender like their compatriots had. Wondering if perhaps they were possessed, she fell back behind friendly lines to charge an upper echelon attack.

"We're not going to give in!" challenged Neptune, having retrieved a sword form a fallen enemy. While not her own weapon, she was proficient in its use and was proving to be a difficult opponent to any that dared to fight her. Even with the reduced numbers they made the classic Senshi mistake of clustering together for a massive attack and that proved to be their undoing.

"**EXPLOSIVE PHOTO-ELECTROSHOCK BLAST**!"

_DOOOOOOOM_

_KRAK-BOOM!_

Urd unleashed the level two attack in the Depth Charge tree, leveling what was left of the old Kuno estate with a gigantic lightning bolt. This effectively ended the battle as the mana attack overwhelmed any defense that the battling Senshi could muster, knocking them –and some of the Valkyries that weren't prepared- out.

"Let's go," she barked at the captives, using some of her power to levitate and float them along. The others were collected by those that were capable while reinforcements arrived from within the fortress to collect the wounded and fallen. Looking about the ruins of a legacy –one that would be cheered for _much_ later- her visage turned dark. "This is only the beginning."

Upon her return to the inner fortress, having made certain that the Senshi as a whole couldn't see anything between the perimeter wall and the Tendo Dojo, Urd was surprised to find the female populace of said house floating around on cloud nine while the males were cowering in a corner. Something of significance had happened while she had taken the fight to the suited Warriors of Love and Justice. As Ranma approached her, she also took note of several of the female Valkyries imitating the natives, except for literally floating around in a daze.

"Urd! Great timing!" he cheerfully exclaimed, ignoring the Senshi for the moment. He had something he wanted to try with her even though his exuberance had put her on alert for anything.

"I love you!"

_WHAM!_

"Success!" he crowed, jumping around in joy and generally ignoring the glares that were coming from the Senshi that were awake. The other residents had ignored his outburst, the super-amplification having more effects than it was ever intended to. Having tested the latest weapon in his arsenal, not paying particular attention to the consequences, his joyous attitude turned to stone.

"That was mean," growled Venus from her bubble, not knowing how she was going to get out of it now.

"Sure it was," came the sarcastic response from Ranma, arms now crossed over his chest. He wasn't pleased in the least to see this particular group again, even if they were literally helpless. "What do you want this time?"

"We have something to tell you," said a timid Mercury, fidgeting as much as she could in the limited space her bubble allowed her.

_(Primary Reality)_

"Well that went smoothly," Stoic-Almighty said to nobody in particular. His forces had been defeated in more ways than one as Chaos had been reborn. To add to the mess was the defection of an Aspect of Hild, taking their daughter slash multiverse cornerstone with her. While there were indeed many Urd's throughout the multiverse, the one that He had guarded for millennia was the original. Just like Himself and Hild, she'd been broken down into different Aspects to stabilize the then recently formed multiverse. As time went on her role became less and less the actual Balance and more of a Cork.

It was why He tolerated her shenanigans. If any other God or Goddess behaved as Urd did they'd find themselves tossed out of Heaven so fast their head would spin. Her Hybrid nature was more than in conflict with each other, it partially focused Chaos energy which was why things could go crazy around her. Sometimes she instigated an event, sometimes she had no say in said event. He could easily tell one way or the other but knew he had little choice in the matter Himself.

The one time He'd tried to control her and her outbursts had destroyed several pieces of the multiverse, wiping them completely out of existence. He could have restarted them, however by the time the planes they were on stabilized too much time had passed in the event of Reunification. Each of the universes had specific events that marked time and evolution so that in the event that they were brought back together they could mesh with relative ease.

So here He sat, brooding the time away. Those that were loyal to the cause were reformulating the attack plan, taking note of what weaknesses the new Chaos had. Those around him, from family to friends to lovers, were all deemed targets for destruction. Not only for allowing such a being like Chaos to exist but to show the reborn deity that he was indeed vulnerable.

He also had dissention in the ranks of those that had stayed behind; those that wanted Chaos gone for all eternity. There were so many ideal's on how to deal with the situation that they were coming into conflict. Everybody wanted to do it their way and nobody else's. He had a couple of long-term plans in the works, like the fake scrolls Peorth was busy manufacturing. It was simple for Him to send the scrolls back in time ten years, after His Weapons were in place for the attack.

Feh, mortals. No matter what plane they resided on they caused nothing but trouble. Their free will was going to be His undoing, allowing Chaos to roam free and wreak havoc upon the multiverse.

There was also the problem of Reunification to take into account. A third universe was in the process of merging with the two that had already done so, one that He wanted nothing to do with.

After all, He desired to avoid the wrath of His Mother . . .

_(Tendo's)_

"You plan to do what with humanity?" demanded Ranma while the others within the Tendo walls listened intently. Sailor Mercury had been educating him on their long term plans and goals, including what efforts and methods they'd utilized to this point.

"But Pluto said . . .," weakly tried Moon, nearing the point of openly bawling at the cold shoulder she was receiving. Her mind was going around in circles more so than usual at the betrayal of her Inner Guard. In all truth she didn't know half of what the Senshi of Time had planned, instead following her around and doing her bidding.

"The Moon Kingdom _must_ be resurrected," deadpanned said Senshi, like she was talking to a five year old. "For there to be any future whatsoever _we_ must be the ones to lead The Remnant into the future. Think about it: no wars, no hunger, nothing but peace."

"Yeah and there goes the last of humanity," barked Hild, arms crossed under her breasts. "Without strife, without desire, without _drive_ humans as a whole will die out. Period."

"That can't be!" roared Uranus as she tried to free herself yet again from her imprisonment. "Those that are left after the Great Freeze will rejoice in never having to worry about survival again!"

"Who let you decide that I wonder," Ranma spat, glaring at Pluto. "Sounds like rubbish to me. There is no such thing as _fate_, only those that force their will upon others. Not a chance, so long that I live. I will _not_ allow so many to die just so you can live in yer fantasy world."

"Neither will we," came the chorus of voices from behind him, and a few from in front of him. This surprised everybody as Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn firmed their resolve. They'd found the out they'd wanted from the Cataclysm that would lead to Crystal Tokyo and were leaping to take advantage of it.

"Be silent!" ordered Moon, her mind finally going into adult mode. Everything that she'd known was in conflict with what was presented right in front of her . . . and under too. Earth was making a loud statement as the ground around those that were refusing to give up on such an ugly future had turned brown. The grass was dead, the very air around them seemed stale.

"Oh, take a long walk off an event horizon," grumbled Mercury, enjoying the almost pure sunlight that was streaming in through the clouds. Around her and those that had defected Life was in full bloom. The grass was so soft and green. The air was fresh, and there was a slight breeze keeping the scene perfect.

"You will regret this," announced Pluto to everybody that was against her and her dreams of a perfect utopia. "Each and every one of you will _suffer_ greatly for betraying Crystal Tokyo and humanity!"

"Feh. Bring it on," came the response from Ranma while he made a gesture at Urd. The Goddess of the Past looked at him like he was insane but obliged his silent request to let the oldest Senshi out of her bubble.

Not wasting any time, he leapt in on the attack. Following the methodology of not calling out attacks, she had no time to mount a defense against the Kashu Tenshin Amaguriken. He applied the speed boost to his legs, effectively turning his body into a blur. She took several hits before getting a Dead Scream to detonate relatively close to her person, driving him back to avoid damage. Taking a slight breather as her kamikaze maneuver had inflicted some more bruises on her body, she studied his movements looking for an opportunity to counterattack.

Said opportunity came from an unexpected source when Kuno stumbled into the battle. Thinking that he'd make a great target to put Ranma off balance she launched her trademark attack at the blinded swordsman from close range. She knew that neither had the reflexes to avoid the attack; immediately following it was another Dead Scream aimed at Ukyo.

The pair of temporal flux balls detonated, sending dirt and debris into the air. When the light faded and the breeze removed the dust did the extent of the damage become known.

Mousse, using his superior hearing from a lifetime of bad eyesight, had pushed all of his ki into his arms as a way to propel himself in front of Kuno. The only way he knew it was him was the stumbling only somebody who'd had vision then suddenly lost it could produce. When he felt incredible pain did he know that his gamble had paid off before blessed darkness overcame him.

Near the front door Ukyo had started to roll out of the way before remembering what was behind her. While she didn't have much love for Nabiki and Akane, there was no way that she'd let the house of Kasumi be destroyed. A mana shield materialized around the house too late to stop the attack from near point blank range. Having closed her eyes she missed the shadow that fell over her as Dark Holy Bell took the attack head on. Her left wing was destroyed in the process while her body took severe damage.

As hard as the Angel tried, some of the damage translated to Nabiki. Thankfully for her she lost consciousness immediately without feeling the pain, even though her mouth was open in a silent scream.

"You will _die_ for that," growled Ranma as his battle aura flared to maximum intensity. "Once I can overlook, but twice now you have attacked those that cannot defend themselves and placed even more in danger."

Vacuum blades flew forth to which she danced around some while others connected. The damage dealt by them was extreme, depleting her armor in a quick order. The pure ki was even bypassing the magical construct, dealing her person great wounds. Her armor could barely keep up with the injuries she was receiving let alone putting any effort into dampening the blows.

"Like time I am eternal," she said after jumping away from his line of fire in an effort to allow her armor time to repair her wounds and itself. The look in her eyes showed that she truly believed those words, having survived for millennia –even if most of that time was in stasis- she felt that Time was at her whim.

Wrong thing to think about with the Norns present. There was a reason why Urd had a great dislike and distrust of Sailor Pluto, being that the Silver Millennium fell under her sphere of influence. She was privy to everything that had happened in that time, from the arrival of the Predecessors to the colonization of the other planets to the discovery of life on Earth to the creation of the Kingdom. Every little tidbit was in her knowledge base, from beginning to end. The End was an event that she shuddered at in remembrance. It was a folly on the part of Pluto that had led to the corruption of Beryl by way of Metallia.

The Senshi of Time had been dabbling in the multiverse matrix and had summoned forth the Demonic Beast from a different plane. The Doctrine issued forth from Serenity had worked in her favor as she couldn't _admit_ to doing so without also admitting that there was a disaster on the horizon that wasn't natural. So instead of using her free will to override the Doctrine and admit making a blunder of Biblical proportions, she had stayed silent on the whole affair.

Until the attack on the Kingdom was over.

Just before she was locked in stasis, a self-imposed idea once she'd learned of those that were sent forward in time, she'd written everything down in a hardcopy before hiding it in storage.

Half-way through her imprisonment the storage complex had been destroyed by a meteor, forever losing the warning that Pluto had left for herself. She was also supposed to awaken at this point in time, to allow her mind to absorb new information and generally give it a workout to keep insanity at bay.

The body may be in hibernation but the mind is always active, even if forced into REM mode.

The cryo-pod she was in had a malfunction and thusly _didn't_ allow her to awaken at the appointed time. Her REM turned from memories of the past to dreams of the future and thusly Crystal Tokyo was born.

"_Hiryu Shoten Ha: __Kijin Raishu Dan Revised!_" brought Urd back from her trip down memory lane as Ranma went for the kill. It was a sight to behold as a tornado comprised of vacuum blades utterly decimated Sailor Pluto, first by lifting her high into the sky before bombarding her from all directions. She had time to scream before the attack cut out, letting her fall to the ground.

Upon crashing down into yet another, brand new crater did the others approach to look in to see the damage. Extensive it was as her armor was completely destroyed, leaving her nude. Not that anybody would take notice of this for the open wounds that went from head to toe. There was a slash that went from the lower right side of her jaw coming up her cheek before passing through where the eye would be before continuing up into her hair. Her chest was crisscrossed at several angles, each wound deep. Her arms and legs fared no better, being mutilated to the point of being completely useless.

"Is this what you wanted to be, alone standing by yourself?" Ranma spat at the dying form and her companions. "Is this all you wanted to be, or was that a cry for help?"

"It's stranger than fiction how you've decayed," added Urd. "It must be so _lonely_ lost within your ways."

"Let me tell you something," he continued, ignoring the groaning coming from the crater. "You're born alone; you _die_ alone. The rest is yours to fill the gap. Your plot of world domination ends now."

"Let me help her!" bawled Moon, having shifted into full Serenity mode. Everything going on around her was pure madness of late and she had no experience with such emotional trauma.

"Why, so she can come back for more?" he deadpanned, looking her square in the eyes. "I hear that you're supposed to be the leader yet you have no _control_ of your group. All she cares about is this precious utopia that if formed would guarantee the end of civilization as we know it."

"We surrender!" she cried, flailing her limbs in an effort to pop the bubble she was in. "Please, we'll do anything you want! Let me help her!"

"No," answered Hild, the look in her eyes hard. "Not a good enough reason. Words are cheap, a _contract_ is forever."

"I'll make a deal with the devil if you just _let me help her!_" screamed Serenity much to the amazement and amusement of the others. She had no idea who she was talking to . . .

"Really now?" wondered the Demon Queen, left index finger tapping her chin in thought. "Okay, we'll let you out to heal your precious Time Mage _if_, and only if, you place your own life on the line if she so much as farts wrong. For all _eternity_. All of you foolish enough to still want this Crystal Tokyo. That's the deal."

"And just who do _you_ think you are?" snidely asked Uranus, her eyes narrowed in anger and disbelief. She'd heard rumors that Nerima had a weird factor that outranked Juuban but seeing it in action was its own experience.

"Allow me to show you," she replied, before her form began to shift.

Those watching suddenly found other things to look at, not wanting their dreams to be filled with images of Hild's Demon. Her beautiful features completely changed into a tough, leathery hide colored blood red. Her eyes sunk within her skull, however instead of having empty sockets two pieces of superheated brimstone filled them, wisps of flame licking upwards. Growing from her tailbone was a six foot long tail, the 'arrowhead' tip and assorted spines razor sharp. Her feet went from the dainty, feminine variety to three toed 'dinosaur' paws with hands to match. Her height went from five foot six to seven four, while her hair turned charcoal black. Missing were the horns that denominated the lower devils; as the Boss she had no need of that identifier. The pure aura of evil she was now putting off took care of that nicely, complete with undertones of killing intent.

"**Proof enough**?" boomed her voice, closer to baritone and containing none of her usual sex appeal. She sniffed the air before making a disgusted noise. "**I know this form is scary, but do try to maintain control of yourselves**."

"Youma!" incorrectly guessed Neptune, now flailing about like her lover. Escape was now the priority however as this one was several thousand times stronger than Mistress Nine, Wiseman and Pharaoh 90 combined.

"Yes," timidly said Serenity, her eyes downcast. She'd seen enough proof to haunt her dreams for the remainder of her days. "Let me help Pluto and you'll get your contract."

"**Excellent**," came from the monstrous form before shrinking back into her preferred body. A wave of her left hand later found said contract in her hand while her right dispelled the bubble holding the leader of the Senshi unceremoniously dumping her on the ground. "Don't even think of trying to escape. My legions are simply hiding to avoid conflict with the Divine and would gladly tear this planet apart to find you. Your disguises are useless to beings like me, seeing as in how this contract will affect your 'normal' selves. The majority of it has already been put into effect, all that remains is your blood signature."

"Don't sign it!" encouraged Uranus, her eyes wide in fear. Setsuna was a complete bear to attempt to control, having her life on the life if the Senshi of Time did something stupid only added to the aggravation factor. "Escape with Pluto while you can!"

"No," came the reply from Serenity, her own resolve firmed. "She's right, as the Princess reborn _I_ have to take responsibility for the actions of those under my leadership. I have to start somewhere."

"Keep Pluto alive, heal her body but leave a reminder as to why dictating the fate of all is a _bad thing_," Ranma entered the conversation, eyes devoid of emotion. He felt no compassion or regret for said Senshi buried in the ground after her actions. Just allowing her to live was as far as he was willing to go at the moment, until he got his anger under control.

An apology would go a long way. Not that he'd hold his breath for it, he was still waiting for his father to apologize for the way he treated him.

Princess Serenity set to task, healing all of the wounds except for one. The scar that traveled up her face and the destroyed eye . . .

TBC

O_O! A stopping point at last. Okay, I'm getting my laptop fixed tomorrow so it'll slow down my writing a bit. Unlike some people I could name *_cough _Lord Rance _cough_* I mean it'll be completely ready to go tomorrow night.

As for the darker feel this fic is taking, well I have a beef with 'fate' at the moment. Perhaps that'll change if I hit the lottery. Until then, be on the lookout for more like this. Yes, there will be funny chapters, but to develop plot I have to write it like this.

Bah, enough after-fic rant.

Ja!

Finished in Denver, CO


	17. PCPIBLS 5

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Rant: Time off is good, production of fics goes faster. As this marks the fifth chapter see the post-story rant for the references used so far. C'mon people, GUESS! I mean it. Also, beware of massive scene-jumping. This chapter goes crazy and if you blink yer gonna miss something, kinda like Battlestar Galactica.

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty-Bitty Living Space Arc One Part Four

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

"The scrolls are complete," came from Peorth, her voice flat. She was on the fence as far as this Master Chaos business went. On the one hand she remembered him from so long ago, a free spirit that was uncontrollable while at the same time flew in the face of Order. There were many that had attempted to either control Chaos himself and/or his realm cum domain that failed miserably, usually resulting in a dimension exploding rather spectacularly. On the other, _she_ was with him now. '_Bell . . ._'

"Good," stated the Almighty, his hands clasped in front of His face and elbows resting on His desk. The lighting was just right to hide His good eye, while the patch looked ever so sinister peering over His interlaced fingers. "What is the status of the Weapons?"

"Weapons One and Two are in position, Weapon Three is nearly complete," she reported. "Weapons Four through Seventeen are eighty percent and lower in their construction phases."

"Excellent," He replied, "Time to barrier failure?"

"Primary barriers on Chaos' Universe show imminent failure to Multiverse Components 134565466413.55431, 43678752654345.34532, and 23465735463145.35676." Peorth hesitated before continuing with the report. "Something is wrong however. Sub-node 43678752654345.34532 has been suffering from dimensional quakes and two time resets. This Component is highly unstable and if it were to merge with Chaos' Universe could trigger the release of Those That Came Before."

Letting loose a grunt of dissatisfaction, He leaned back in His chair to think. That particular Component was the one He wanted to avoid the most. However a merger could give Him an advantage in this conflict if it truly did break the seal covering the Alpha Prime Point of Existence.

"Time resets are confirmed," Peorth suddenly spoke up, her many holo-screens going haywire and bringing Him out of His thoughts. "Chousin Component confirmed, sub-node 43678752654345.34532 barrier is breached; merger in progress."

"Time-frame?"

"Restoration at fifteen percent complete. Reunification at five percent. Time remaining to abort operation, two weeks."

_(Ranma-verse)_

"Make a deal with the devil, she says," rumbled Haruka. She along with the others had dropped their transformations seeing as in how utterly useless the disguise fields had become. It was amazing how inept their 'leader' was, and having made said deal any respect the Outer had for the Princess had left the planet.

"Why the hell am I still alive?" demanded Setsuna to the world at large for the umpteenth time, a patch covering what used to be her right eye. The battle wounds were horrific, and one part of her psyche was stumped as to how mentioned Princess could leave her so disfigured.

"We need to focus," tried to placate Michiru, running interference on the different moods around her. She was about as stalwart as Pluto when it came to Crystal Tokyo, so she was putting her energies into getting something plotted in that general direction.

"Why are we being held here?" wondered Usagi, her mind-set having returned to Child Mode. She had thought that after healing Setsuna, and then having to sign a contract with her own blood –literally, Hild had produced a needle and poked her index finger- she had figured that just like the manga since the 'bad guy' had gotten what they wanted they'd be free to go.

BOO! WRONG!

"Would you four kindly _**shut the**_ _**hell up**_?!" roared the guard, having heard enough ramblings from this corner of the impromptu prison block. It had been a request and a favor from Ranma that the Demons were the jail-keepers, which at first aggravated them before they were educated on his reasoning.

What better way to make sure the contract was upheld than personal supervision? Plus their powers were better suited for pain if a prisoner tried to escape than the Divine, to which the Demonic swelled with pride.

_Finally_, something that they could outdo those Goodie-Two Shoes in without looking like the bad guy.

What they were missing was that the original Chaos had made the sides this way, long before the Sealing. He had intended for the Divine to be like peacekeepers, moderating events of significance and brokering deals that kept all sides happy while the Demonic were the enforcers and if the situation called for it, the destroyers. Some had random thoughts about the Valkyries and why such a 'violent' group would be under the jurisdiction of Good.

The Almighty hadn't foreseen losing control of the Enforcers when He sealed Chaos, as the hierarchy had been Chaos, Himself then Hild. He had attempted to assume command only to find their source Nidhogg locked out; His codes to that system were useless as Hild had taken over the Demonic both as a way to maintain the fragmenting Balance and to get even for forcing her into sealing Chaos.

"Can we go now?" timidly tried Usagi while the guard was in range, repeating a cycle that had been going on for the better part of a week. The accommodations weren't as drab and dreary as one might think, nor where they opulent to the point of catering to the prisoners like a spa. She just wanted out, certain that her family –and Mamoru- missed her while she missed the next volume of her favorite manga.

"Usagi, just stop," deadpanned Michiru, having had enough of the Princess' behavior. "They're not going to let us out of here and constantly asking isn't earning us any brownie points."

"Yeah _Your Highness_, shut up," grumbled Haruka, thoroughly annoyed and miffed at their 'great' and 'fearless' leader.

"We must obtain our original goal, even without the others," Setsuna offered instead of demanding to know why she was still alive. She'd been literally asking the same question for a week to the point that even the guards were thinking there might be some brain damage leaving her locked in a loop.

"No can do lady," informed the guard. "Now that you're back with us and not stuck on your own life being spared, you should know that _any_ attempts to create Crystal Tokyo with result in the four of you forfeiting your souls for all eternity; tormented on the ninth level of Hell. Your Princess signed a contract stating as much with her own blood."

". . .," she returned the volley to the guard, failing miserably to make her point known before turning her head to look in the direction of Usagi's cell. Bad enough it was caddie-corner from her own, but it was also off to the right where she had no vision.

"_YOU. DID. __**WHAT**__?!_"

Topside from the prison and Demon barracks a much different scene was taking place. Apparently the Chaos energy in the area felt that life had become entirely too serious of late and managed to lash out through the one being that could use it.

"This isn't funny," drawled Nabiki as she floated upside down, now dressed like a clown that worked at a casino. She wasn't the only one to get the Circus-Circus treatment as Kasumi passed her by, floating horizontal to the floor. Behind her in a lion suit came Ukyo as Shampoo cracked a whip at her hind end like a ringmaster.

"It's not my fault!" exclaimed Ranma, several sweatdrops adorning his head. He had no idea what had happened to cause this latest bout with insanity and was panicking as more than a few hooded gazes turned in his direction.

"Then what caused this?" demanded Hild, gesturing to the Furinkan boys school uniform her clothing had spontaneously changed into, constricting her breathing as a wrap had appeared around her rather large breasts.

"Make it stop!" cried Skuld as the useless children's toys continued their dance around her, doing nothing but going around in circles and making the most awful noises.

"Whazzat? 'anma darlink, c'mere!" slurred Belldandy, having gotten smashed beyond belief on not just regular cola. Oh no, Coke took at least a six pack to send her this far into drunken bliss. A single can of the more potent Mountain Dew, however, was like mixing pure potassium and water. She would explode soon enough, hopefully when the scene was somewhere else.

"ZZZzzz," offered Urd as Enka music blared from the television, somebody having been halfway through channel surfing just before the mayhem began causing them to stop then flee before being affected by the madness.

"I don't know!" Ranma continued his defense and argument even in the face of a Spider Monkey-fied Soun and a wall climbing Koala-fied Panda-fied Genma using his body for a jungle gym.

"Make it stop!" screamed the youngest Norn, hands over her ears and eyes closed as tight as they would go.

_TONG_

Ranma was now two dimensional, his body wavy just before it teleported itself out of the house. The random chaos stopped at that moment; those that were in flight crashing to the ground. The toys surrounding Skuld ran out of battery power, the marathon Enka-fest ended, Hild's clothing returned to normal resulting in excessive jiggling. The Spider-Monkey returned to the original shape of Soun, while Genma simply returned to the girth of a Panda much to his disappointment.

Across Tokyo, having taken refuge at an Aunt's house, Sayuri was about to step on a scale dressed in nothing but the towel wrapped around her body after getting out of the furo.

"How could I have gained so much weight?" she asked nobody in particular after reading the display.

"Sorry, that would be me," replied Ranma, not quite enjoying having her standing on his face. His voice had a metallic quality to it, like he was inside a dumpster.

"HENTAI!" she screamed, backing up towards the sink which was full of water. She barely had time to turn around when said water turned into a geyser, admitting Skuld into the scene. The pair collided, sending the towel-clad girl to the floor out like a light.

"Not this again," grumbled the Goddess of the Future, breaking out the anti-chaos spray she always carried in case of emergencies like this.

_FWUMP_

"That should fix things," she said after spraying him in the face, returning him to the third dimension.

"Ow," came from the floor, reminding the pair that they weren't alone and needed to make a quick exit.

Upon his return to the Tendo Dojo did the chaos start up again. This time the elder sisters Tendo were dressed in the boys uniform, Hild was in a tiger-suit being chased around by ringmaster Urd, Ukyo wound up in a bunny costume while Shampoo ended up in the buff.

"Ah yes they call her the streak!" yelled Belldandy –still recovering from Mountain Dew- as the Amazon ran for cover, trying for some decorum of modesty in the house full of people. If Ranma was alone, she'd have no problem 'streaking' right up to him.

"The hell is going on?" demanded said Saotome, noting that the fathers had bailed out on the situation lest they spontaneously turned into odd animals. Seeing a Koala with Panda fur was more than enough for one lifetime, let alone a Spider-Monkey that could use a naginata properly.

"Where's Akane?" wondered Skuld, looking for the youngest Tendo to give her the prosthetic she'd made. That and she had a theory she had to test.

"Right here," answered the girl in question, wandering back into the living room. When the first bout of insanity had broken out she was nowhere to be found, not telling anybody that she had to use the facilities for the simple reason that she wanted to do so on her own.

As soon as she reappeared, the madness stopped. Clothes returned to normal, whips disappeared, the fathers reappeared and the quiet Nodoka's head stopped rotating clockwise after fifty or so revolutions. This also confirmed the theory that Skuld had.

"This can't be good," gravely intoned said Goddess before setting to work in attaching the prosthetic.

_(Primary Reality)_

"Is the _distraction_ ready?" asked Kami-sama, head again propped onto his interlaced fingers.

"Yes sir," replied Peorth, growing ever so tired of seeing the pose of the Almighty. Bad enough that He was going to alter one of the universes in such a manner that when the expected merger happened a radically different future would spring up in place of what was already there.

"Excellent," he said. "Gather ten legions of Valkyries from the rear guard multiverses and _distract_ Chaos. The merger will happen soon and it is imperative that our work is not detected."

Taking that as the dismissal she had been looking for to get away from the creepy look, she went to comply with the order.

The Second Battle of Nerima would be a bloodbath, hopefully putting an end to Chaos and those around him . . .

_(Ranma-verse)_

Four levels up from Moon and the Outers were the Defectors. Their 'allegiance' had yet to be proven and as such they were being held in a common area. This level was nicer than the one where Pluto was trying to hatch a new plot to berth Crystal Tokyo, having more space available for the five girls to wander around. Over in one corner was a television opposite a window that had a mural of a green pasture behind it. There was sun light in the holding area, coming in from several skylights.

Any who've ever been in a place such as this know the name of it. The girls even shared a common bedroom, extra large with many bunks available for use.

Yes, they were in the drunk tank.

"Wonderful," grumbled Rei at the treatment they were receiving. If she only know what was happening topside she'd be grateful to be in the tank at the moment.

"It's not so bad," said Minako, having maneuvered a table into a beam of sunlight, using it as a tanning bed. "Ranma-sama did say he'd come talk to us after handling the mess Setsuna created."

Indeed what a mess it was. Mousse had effectively killed himself when he took the Dead Scream head on, going out in a martial artist's blaze of glory by protecting those that couldn't do it themselves. Last she had seen, Dark Holy Bell had repaired what damage she could; the only piece still missing being the destroyed left wing.

"He'll come to us soon enough," chimed in Makoto as she too tanned herself under the sunlight. "At least we're close enough to the surface to get sunlight. One of the guards told me that the others are four levels below us, in a dark and dingy end of the west block."

". . .," added Hotaru, taking the opportunity to just relax. She was busy with the television, surfing the channels looking for something of interest to watch. Off to her right, Ami had commandeered a couch and a coffee table to do _homework_ of all things.

Ami is Ami, no doubt about it.

The relative peace and quiet wouldn't last forever, they knew, as demonstrated by the entire complex being rocked by a massive explosion. Ceiling tiles and fluorescent lights rained down, their mounts broken sending dust particulates and glass flying everywhere.

Topside things had gone from the general Chaos variety of humor to a fight for survival. The outer shield had collapsed under the opening volley, signaling the beginning of the Second Battle of Nerima.

Ranma charged into the fray, meeting the enemy head on and promptly sending bodies flying in every direction. It came as no surprise that the JSDF were frozen again as those opposed to Chaos pushed their advance in towards the mostly complete fortress.

A fortress that had weapons designed by Skuld. Said weapons were barely visible within their positions, until they opened up on the unsuspecting army below.

Dark Seraphim reveled in the mayhem, continuously raining death upon the enemy. Platoons worth of archers tried to bring him down but failed miserably as he adjusted his flight path accordingly.

Happosai also reveled in brutal combat. His short stature allowed him to move around virtually undetected until he attacked. Even with those of the Almighty that were aware of his presence on the lookout, he could sneak around with relative ease before breaking their formations with strategically placed Happo-darikens.

Hild cut foot-loose and fancy free in the latest engagement of Fate versus Chaos. Few dared to oppose her, the power she wielded easily clearing entire regiments worth of warriors out. She was looking for her opponent in the form of Stoic-Almighty, knowing that this attack wasn't one made out of desperation. He was trying to move pieces of the game into position without notice and to do so he had to launch a preemptive attack on Ranma.

What worried her the most was that virtually everybody _around_ him were fair game, a tactic that made her frown deeply. The Almighty was turning this from a battle to contain the Balance Keeper into the first stages of Ragnarok. The only reason she could think of for Him to do so was that He had grown severely discontent with those that had free will and was initiating a plan to reset the multiverses as a whole.

After all, He could easily reappear before selected humans to get them into Believing. He'd done so already over the ages; from ten to two thousand years ago He'd gathered strength from those that executed His word and will.

The archers had fallen back when the artillery embedded within the fortress opened up, only to resurface with modernized weapons of their own. The infiltrator had weakened the outer shield but had to hide before being able to sabotage the inner shield or the summons that was keeping Dark Seraphim present. Behind them came several platoons worth of Demons from human-sized to literal tanks to five story tall destroying machines.

"Get them up here!" roared Ranma at a group of Demons that were 'protecting' him, sending them into the underground labyrinth that was housed the Senshi. Just as they disappeared into the entrance one of the five story tall, slow walking Demons reached the outer barrier then self-destructed taking the outer shield down.

Winged Demons, grotesque rotting flesh with the tops of their heads cut off, flew overhead dropping their equivalent of bombs on the battle uncaring if they hit their own so long that they hit a target. Several phisogue 'tanks' set their back ends down to brace themselves before firing gigantic blasts at the fortress and inner shield.

Inside the Tendo house, the noncombatants were clustered around each other. Those that had a marginal chance at success were on the outer perimeter, guarding Kasumi and Nabiki. The fathers, Nodoka, Ukyo and Shampoo had stayed in the house to protect the elder sisters Tendo after being barked at by Ranma.

He was still upset that they'd been left unguarded the first time they'd been attacked and had been rather forceful in his _request_ for them to be guarded.

Akane was another matter altogether. As soon as the attack had begun she'd been one of the first to leap to their feet before memories of the last time she'd tangled with _them_ came to the front of her mind. She had run off, insisting that she could take care of herself while at the same time looking for a good place to hide. Having taken refuge under the house, in a cramped corner that wasn't easily accessible she wondered not for the first time if Ranma was worth it.

Dark Holy Bell had determination written all over her face, her eyes shining bright as her soul screamed for vengeance. Being hampered by the loss of her left wing she knew she had to come up with a new strategy herself. The opportunity presented itself in the most unlikely way when the house came under attack.

The infiltrator, one God Saturn of many, had quietly laid the foundation for this assault. Weapons, seals, mandelas, and medical supplies had been hidden with great care so as not to be found. With the battle raging outside the fortress walls he saw the opportunity to carry out one of the mission objectives given by the Almighty in his universe before being sent here.

Kill Chaos' allies, family, friends and lovers. They _all_ must be terminated; those were the orders. There wouldn't be a second chance at this as any success would anger the reborn Chaos, as it was hoped amongst those that wanted him gone permanently, into doing something rash.

He had little trouble ending the existence of the old men and katana bearing woman, each caught completely unawares when he struck. The bulkier of the two men had been the first victim, trapped within a gravity-modification mandela that wouldn't stop until the life had literally been crushed out of his body. Next came the moustache man, falling into a pillbox that had the floor lined with razor sharp spikes. The woman had attempted to mount a defense, drawing the katana and fighting him. This alerted the other two fighters to the attack, bringing an end to the surprise.

God-Saturn had performed a parry-slash-parry-sword lock-slide-thrust maneuver, the end of which found its target in the form of her heart. The young women double teamed him, ridiculously large spatula and maces blurring with their attack. He found himself on the defensive for the first time in this battle, the amount of noise they were making alerting those within the house to his presence.

This is where Dark Holy Bell made her choice; the results of which could very well end her existence.

Seeing that Ukyo and Shampoo were tiring rather quickly in their efforts to continuously double-team a God, she quickly moved out the door under magic power. Flight was out of the question entirely, however the loss of the wing had opened other avenues to her.

What was left of the system was reading her as a Fallen now; a One Winged Angel. This allowed her to summon forth one of the most feared weapons in the known multiverse.

Every single combatant shuddered in fear as the remnants of the Nerima Surround Sound System came to life blaring '_Advent: One Winged Angel_'. Ranma caught the reference that something was happening at home that required his immediate attention; he knew of a single being matching that description. Retreating to the Tendo Dojo he took note of the Defectors taking on the Demonic enemy with relative success; their mana taps working for them in a battle such as this.

God-Saturn managed to get away from the two that were attacking him to go directly after the sole Angel in the house. The bond between Angel and Human was a unique one: kill one and the other dies, their soul barrier ruptured. He knew he had the advantage even as she lifted her arms above her head, like she was holding a sword to counter his overhead attack.

'_Please, let this work . . ._' thought the Angel and her host.

_CLANG!_

For the briefest of moments, he was confused as to _why_ his sword had stopped in mid air, effectively blocked by nothing but air. Ignoring the background music, he pushed off just as a six-foot long katana materialized from the ether. He also had to roll left as Ranma reappeared from the front lines, moving him out of range to attack his primary target.

"The hell? Mom? Pop?"

_DOOM_

Belldandy was being a field medic again, until a feeling of the above word came over her senses. Without thinking her left hand reached up to her left ear while her right arm pointed straight out from her body to the side. She wasn't alone as Urd imitated her pose in reverse, her arms opposite that of her sister. Looking around the battlefield revealed Gods, Goddesses, Valkyries and Demons imitating two of the three Norns.

As they removed their power limiters.

_(Primary Reality)_

"Who gave Saturn those instructions?" demanded Stoic-Almighty to the room full of Himself. The Second Battle was _not_ going to His desires, and the recent turn of events did _not_ bode well for the war effort. There was a vibe traveling throughout the multiverse that hadn't been felt since Those That Came Before made a similar error.

Chaos was _angry_. Pure, unadulterated, and _unchecked_ rage flowed from him like water over Niagara Falls. One of the Aspects had made a tremendous tactical error, one that if not corrected when the first merger happened would indeed result in the Seal covering the Alpha Prime Point of Existence being annihilated.

Those That Came Before would also _side_ with Chaos, as they had a bigger beef with Order and Disorder than him. They also knew better than to go against the Maintainer of the Balance, the last vestige of The Abyss; the one being that could permanently erase them from all of reality.

"They must die!" roared Warrior-Almighty, battleaxe raised in the air. This also gave away just who had tried the infiltrator cum subterfuge tactic.

"Fool!" came from Angry-Almighty. "Do you have any _idea_ what you've done? Chaos is going to go on a rampage now, _on top of_ his allies removing their bloody power limiters! You have doomed no less that ninety-five realities to extinction!"

"Leave us," monotonously said Stoic, His gaze locked on the war-monger. There was no going back however, with the system down any of the mortals that perished were lost to the ether for eternity. The rest of the Aspects were going to have to deal with the fallout of this blunder while trying to come to a consensus on a punishment.

_(Abandoned Yggdrasil Control Room, Primary Reality)_

The monitors were all showing snow and static as every available body had been shifted towards the war effort. Thusly nobody was around to hear the computerized voice make a progress report.

"**RESTORATION AT SEVENTY-TWO PERCENT**."

_(Ranma-verse)_

Ranma wasted no time trying to figure out what was going on, instead seeing a God that shouldn't be there with a bloodied sword. He could tell that his parents were dead, from the soup that resembled Genma to the unmoving form of Nodoka with a puncture wound over her heart. He had no idea where Soun was, but judging by the reactions from the elder sisters he'd suffered a similar fate.

Launching into battle unarmed was one of the many things that fell into the bad idea category when dealing with live steel such as Saturn's. Dark Holy Bell was holding the longest katana he'd ever seen, grip towards him. Upon grasping it, the Angel floated back indoors to guard the sisters, taking Ukyo and Shampoo with her.

The smoke from the battle raging around the fortress seemed to get darker, along with a sudden increase of clouds effectively blocking out the sunlight. The background music was still going, and matched the mood Ranma was in. The sword glowed with a midnight black aura, bending to the will of its wielder.

A jet black wing burst forth from his right shoulder blade area, sending feathers flying about in all directions just as said background music chorused.

"_Sephiroth! Sephiroth!"_

God-Saturn found his defenses under immediate assault from the insane reach the sword gave Ranma, or rather the being he had become. It was unclear whom was in charge of the body now as it was known that the Saotome Heir preferred hand to hand over weapons.

From inside the house, those watching only saw blurs and sparks as the pair danced the deadly dance. They feared for Ranma, unsure of what he had become and knowing that he only had enough weapons training so that he could disarm an opponent. Ranma appeared for a few seconds, an intense look of concentration on his face. Just before going back into motion, they could swear that he was holding two katanas and moving three times faster.

_(Meanwhile)_

A hole opened in the wall of the fortress, admitting Demonic forces into the inner sanctum. They had to fight tooth and nail for every inch they took. This actually served as a distraction to get the Hellhounds in undetected; once they were in did they go forth and hunt for prey.

The Demonic version of a pit-bull dog vanished into the shadows, following the scent left behind by their 'dinner'.

Back at the Tendo's, the battle between Ranma and God-Saturn hadn't progressed much. Both were able to attack and counterattack at virtually the same moment, preventing any blows from landing. Saturn was reasonably certain that Ranma was still in charge of the body, even though his eyes had taken on a cat-slit look and his attacks –if they'd connected- would have been instantly lethal. He was pushed to the limits of his speed with the twin Masamune swords singing through the air.

While the one on one fight took place inside the fortress, the battle outside was taking a toll on both sides.

The Defectors, once known as the Senshi, were exhausted yet couldn't stop. The enemy just kept coming, no matter how many Demonic Weapons they killed. It had taken a team effort to kill two of the 'tanks' that had been bombarding the inner shield.

Several times they had been regulated to anti-air support, an area that the defenders were completely lacking in. This attack had caught them by surprise and completely unawares. No thought had been given to Demon Soldiers being allowed into the Mortal Plane, something which could only be authorized by three individuals.

Hild, Lucifer or Mammon.

Father and son were still butting heads over the last escapade in which Mammon had nearly succeeded in getting out of Hell, keeping them out of the current conflict. The Aspects knew better than to use the armies of Lucifer Morningstar, after all it was part of their arrangement.

Free rent for him, the realm for her. Lu was much happier with the arrangement as it dealt with far less paperwork.

Of course, he'd tried to take over once. Hild had squashed that rebellion rather messily, forever barring him or his descendants from escaping her grasp.

(As a side note a massive back-story between Hild and Lucifer is indeed there, to be told later. There are many things that those that haven't looked hard enough don't know about.)

It took those Divine around the fortress a moment to catch on that if the Aerial Soldiers were present then they needed to be on the lookout for the Foot Soldiers and Hellhounds.

Power washed over the battlefield as those that were removing their limiters finished the required rituals before they rejoined the battle in progress.

"**EXPLOSIVE PHOTO-ELECTROSHOCK BLAST**!" roared Urd as she charged head first into the fray, taking on one of the five-story tall Destroyers. Slow and ungainly they may be, these Weapons were persistent and would not stop until either the target or itself was destroyed. They could also take substantial amounts of damage, as their internal workings were buried inside of a five foot thick exoskeleton comprised of calcium, potassium, iron and compressed nickel.

It _was_ built in Hell after all, heat compression in such a monstrosity comes with the territory.

Skuld sat within the control center for the fortress defenses, in a room that only she could access. It was a temporary measure, one that made sense as the cameras pointed inward had revealed their own traitor in their midst. She hadn't had the time to properly design a database for those that were fighting for Chaos, instead being busy with so many other projects and on occasion finding herself trapped in the general chaos and mayhem whenever Ranma got bored.

Hild was disappointed that her adversary had failed to arrive, and thus took her emotions out on the enemy. Several times the bigger Demons would attempt to gang-attack her, however they had no coordination to their methods and were easily disposed of.

"_Wind Arrow!_" was issued forth from Belldandy, Holy Bell letting the attack fly. Mana and phisogue shields attempted to stop the attack and many felt one final emotion as it kept on going. The target was one of the Demon Tanks, which took the wind magic straight down the 'barrel'. The Weapon exploded rather spectacularly, taking three platoons worth of Divine and Demonic out.

"We're being overrun!" screamed the Senshi of Saturn, having sought shelter behind some rubble. The other Defectors were slowly falling back, being overwhelmed by the sheer number of attackers.

Within the fortress, the battle between Ranma and God-Saturn was still going strong. Having grown rather tired of said battle, Ranma was in the process of ending it. He had no idea where the 'instructions' came from; they could have come from either the Bug or a memory fragment nor did he particularly care.

"_Chaos Wave_."

Leaping back for room to maneuver, he created another mandela of epic proportions. Upon activation, mana spilled forth into the reality at an insane rate before folding back upon itself. Saturn tried to flee as Ranma channeled the power through the swords, using them as a focus and a method of aiming the pure power.

Those that fought on the side of Chaos immediately broke off their engagements and sought shelter, dampening their power as much as possible. The fighters of Order thought the act was one of cowardice and pushed their sudden advantage before a massive chaos mushroom cloud erupted from the center of the fortress. Suddenly turning tail to flee themselves, the forces of Order were utterly annihilated by the wall of power that descended upon them like an avalanche. Since part of the attack was focused, if not overkill, it punched through two Destroyers before smashing into a formation of Tanks, the explosive backlash sending dust and debris everywhere.

Then the shaking started . . .

_(Primary Reality, Abandoned Control Room)_

"**RESTORATION AT NINETY-FIVE PERCENT**."

_(Almighty's Office)_

"Dimensional quake in progress; reality barrier failure imminent," reported Peorth as she observed the level of destruction that Chaos was unleashing. It scared her that such a being had ever existed in the first place, let alone was alive and kicking in the modern age.

"Initial transport of the Scrolls and Weapons on my order," calmly stated Stoic-Almighty, waiting for the massive reality quake that was sure to come.

"Standing by."

The first sign of the awaited quake was His tea cup vibrating on His desk. The plants began to sway in random directions, the curtains that decorated the Jumbotron sized window started to dance and the snow-globes He kept for general amusement were all . . . snow . . . globing or whatever it is.

"Transport," He ordered at last, feeling the backlash of Chaos energy masking everything else. The target reality was mere seconds away from snapping into alignment with Chaos' Universe. He should have known better than to rely on Chaos Energy as a shield for it corrupted the transport spell sending the objects somewhere else.

"Transport failure!" yelled Peorth as several screens sparked then died from the strain of the reality quake. "Power output is off the scale, she cannae take more 'o this Capt'n!"

"Well shit," stoically said Stoic-Almighty, shoulders drooping in the classic 'hand caught in cookie jar' look.

"DAMN IT, BOY!" a feminine voice echoed across the Heavenly plane, making Stoic sweat-drop before attempting to find a place to hide.

"M-m-mother!"

Peorth sweat-dropped before fleeing herself. She'd never heard of His Mother, and from the sounds of it she didn't want to meet her.

Order Zero, Chaos Two.

_(Ranma-verse)_

"Holy," gasped out Nabiki as she toured the devastation with those that resided at the Tendo Dojo. It was a surreal experience to be walking around Nerima as wreckage smoked and a few fires burned. The air was ripe with death and decay even with a strong wind coming in off of the Bay.

Something was wrong with the scene as a whole, however. The shaking had been extra intense if the fires in Tokyo itself were any indication. All varieties of alarm were attempting to override the screaming public, demonstrating how far the chaos of the situation went. What little bits they could get on either radio or television hinted at a world-wide earthquake, measuring no less than an eight on the Richter Scale.

In the meantime, Ranma was staring off into space. His senses were trying to tell him something important as his ki pulse was being bounced back. He'd been reasonably certain that there was originally no life out there amongst the stars, now it felt like the galaxy was full to the point of overflowing.

Not to mention the immense power he sensed on the island of Honshu, three hundred forty some-odd miles southwest of Tokyo. Part of him recognized the power while the rest of his psyche was terrified by it. Not that he'd admit to being terrified ,no sir.

He grumbled to himself, taking note of what needed to be done now. More burials, more heartache, more repairs. It was always more of _something_ that needed his attention these days.

"_Life goes on without you here, so adjust or just collapse_," he thought, firming his resolve to get this madness under control.

The Order wanted a fight? Well, He'd get one now . . .

TBC

Aah, time off equals faster fic production. A&A fans be patient, writing this is giving me ideas on how to write an emotional fic so please bear with me. Sorry if this didn't make too much sense in places, it just came out that way and after staring at it for hours on end I can find no way to fix it.

The references:

(Title)

"_Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty-Bitty Living Space!"_ – Genie to Aladdin in movie of same name.

(Arc One Part One)

_"Prepare your troops for a surface attack."_ – Darth Vader to General Maximillian Veers, Star Wars Episode Five: The Empire Strikes Back.

_Ride of the Valkyries_: From the movie _Apocalypse Now._

_The Imperial March_: See reference above.

(Arc One Part Two) 

"_Fate? There is no fate but what we make."_ – John Connor to Sarah, Terminator.

"_He is here."_ – Darth Vader to Grand Moff Tarkin, Star Wars Episode Four: A New Hope.

"_And at the time, she __had__ wanted it to forever dominate her destiny . . ._" – spin on the speech Yoda gave Luke, Star Wars.

"_The Incarnate has made a critical error and the time for our attack has come_" – spin on the speech Mon Mothma gave to Rebel Alliance fleet, Star Wars Episode Six: Return of the Jedi.

"_Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!"_ – originally Shakespeare, adapted to battle by General Chang, Star Trek Six: The Undiscovered Country.

"_Death is only the beginning."_ – High Priest Imotep, The Mummy.

"_If I gave you the truth would it keep you alive?_

_Though I'm closer to wrong I'm no further from right."_ – opening lyrics, Truth by Seether.

(Arc One Part Three)

"_Finish him!" "Fatality, Perfect K.O."_ – Mortal Kombat.

"_It's stranger than fiction, how you've decayed._

_It must be so lonely lost within your ways."_

And

"_Is this what you wanted to be, alone standing by yourself?_

_Is this all you wanted to be, or was that a cry for help?"_ – opening lyrics to Stranger Than Fiction by Five Finger Death Punch.

References made in this part are up for guessing, as I'm not telling.

One last thing. The '340-odd miles from Tokyo' bit is courtesy of Google Earth. I looked up a piece to the next Arc and used the measuring tool.

All done now.

Ja!

Finished in Denver, CO


	18. PCPIBLS 6

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Rant: Where'd my reviewers go? I kinda need help to keep the fourth wall madness down here. Average of three reviews per newer chapter? C'mon! Feedback is a great motivator!

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty-Bitty Living Space Arc One Part Five

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

"Quickly now," whispered Pluto as their escape commenced. The shaking had stopped bare moments ago, and as a Time Mage she'd felt it when two different realities merged into one. The massive quake also had the effect of destroying parts of the prison complex, like the cell doors and breaching walls on the upper levels.

"Why do we have to bring her?" demanded Haruka while pointing at Usagi. She was still miffed about the Contract that put her soul at risk, let alone the future of humanity.

"Right now, they're holding all of the keys; they're barring all the doors," answered Michiru in an effort to placate her lover. "The Others will be made to see reason and _she's_ the one card we have left."

The girl in question stayed quiet in the face of their jailbreak. Whenever the guards weren't paying attention Pluto had reinforced the notions of Crystal Tokyo and the need to 'free' the others as they had obviously come under some sort of spell. The Senshi of Time was a master at inducing guilt trips and had created the mother of all in Usagi. She felt responsible for the situation as it stood, which helped firm her resolve to correct her 'mistakes' and free her friends from the grasp of _him._

It was a rare occurrence indeed that she was truly mad at anybody, let alone _angry_ to the point of creating hatred. As it stood, she hated Ranma Saotome with a passion for what he'd done. She just knew that he was responsible for the mess they now had to try to fix and was certainly enslaving the others to do his bidding.

The group of four had made it three levels up, having to stick to as many shadows as they could while climbing through the rubble that had been left behind after the quake. Occasionally they'd come across a roaming solitary guard or small squadron of them and had to wait for them to move on. Fighting the forces of Ranma head-on wasn't an option yet while within his stronghold as Michiru had so elegantly put it. They had the advantage of home territory over the Senshi and any attack would be easily repelled.

What really didn't help their cause was that anything they'd carried on their person upon their original capture had been confiscated. Henshin wands, weapons, even the Crystal Fragment –just how they did so and blocked her ability to call it to her person they had no idea- Usagi never left home without. It made the trek just that much harder as they had to do so in their civilian forms, and they had no idea where the items were being stored. Searching the entire complex was ruled out immediately for it wouldn't take their captors long to notice they were gone and escape had top priority.

"Wait," Setsuna suddenly stopped, her hearing having detected the shifting of rubble ahead in even darker shadows then those which they moved in. She was pleased to see the other three on alert for anything, looking in all directions.

The wait wasn't a long one as debris exploded into the air, sending dust everywhere. Breathing without coughing soon became a serious issue as the dust continued on, heavy panting and the occasional growl echoed through the deserted hallway. One of the sources of noise moved into a lit area nearly earning screams of fright.

As they watched, the strange creature sniffed at the air tentatively. The size was comparable to a Great Dane, while the extra pieces that made up the body gave away the origin of such a beast. Razor sharp spines of varying length sprouted from virtually everywhere. The longer ones were on its back, starting at the base of the neck and ending near what would be the tail while shorter ones adorned its legs. Spittle fell freely form the decaying mouth, proving to be acidic when it ate at whatever surface it touched. Pieces of flesh were missing, revealing the muscles underneath yet the wounds didn't bleed. The rest of the flesh covering the beast was rotting, creating a very unpleasant smell.

The Senshi true to Crystal Tokyo had stumbled upon a Hellhound.

Picking up a chunk of masonry that used to be part of the ceiling Haruka armed herself. She had no idea what the creature was capable of and prepared herself for combat. This turned out to be their undoing as the slight grinding the rather heavy piece of stone made when she picked it up alerted it to their presence. Suddenly there were four more of them –these the size of Boxers-, having kept to the shadows until the prey they sensed gave themselves away.

The big one –the first they'd seen- carefully sat on its haunches and stared them down. It seemed a lot more intelligent than it looked, which gave them a great feeling of unease. The other Hounds held back, apparently waiting to see what their leader would do.

There was a sudden burst of static that accompanied a form flickering in and out of existence for a few seconds. With a loud snap the form solidified into a person, one that they had seen on the surface.

"You have failed," declared the female form, her face hidden in shadow. "It was the original intent of us that you, Sailor Pluto, were to keep Chaos at bay and you've failed rather spectacularly. Now with his rebirth, he will not stop until the Balance is as he designed it. We _entrusted_ you with this one simple task yet you let this nonsense of Crystal Tokyo get in the way. Surely you remember the original deal we brokered upon your arrival here?"

Setsuna paled at that reminder, having forgotten said deal until the form in front of her brought it back to the surface. Many of the details were sketchy at best, while a name leapt to the forefront demanding attention.

_Ranma Saotome._

Now she knew why, at his first appearance, she'd launched an attack without provocation. She had been warned about him twelve thousand years previous, a warning she'd put into the big list she'd created just before going into stasis. The list that was lost to time six thousand years ago . . .

"Your failure has ruptured the barriers between realities," continued the hologram, bringing Pluto out of her memories. "Chaos is beginning to retake his old position as the Maintainer of the Balance without trying to. This reality is now under his complete influence and as such is lost to us. That includes you."

With that, the transmission ended and the Hellhounds attacked. Usagi, Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna could do nothing but scream at the top of their lungs.

_(Topside)_

The scenery had undergone massive changes when the realities merged. The fortress and the area within was unchanged while the rest of the district had returned to its previous condition before the attacks. Though there was massive damage everywhere from the earthquake, none of the civilians even remembered that a Holy War of sorts had erupted in their midst. People stared at the fortress walls in confusion, wondering when such a fortification was built without their knowing.

"What the hell happened?" demanded Hild as she shook the last affects of the merger out of her mind. The quake had been one thing; being an Aspect of Nightmare she was attuned to the cosmic strings that made up each reality. She noticed that the Norns were just as out of it as she was, though it gave her little peace of mind.

"That was a nasty Convergence Event," groused Urd after having to utilize the bushes as a convenient place to vomit. "I've never felt the Reality Strings rip then rebuild themselves in such a fashion and I hope to never feel that again."

". . .," offered Belldandy, swirly eyes indicating her state at the moment. Skuld had yet to appear from the weapons control room and it was assumed she was suffering a similar fate.

"This is different," rumbled Ranma, taking in the improved surroundings. It was nice to see regular people again, even if fires from the quake burned out of control. Looking off to the southwest, he felt a source of power there that was familiar yet not. It was confusing him for he knew he'd never encountered such a power before yet part of him felt that he had.

"Oh my," chimed Kasumi, making it a point to hang off of Ranma's right arm. Just like he, she felt that things were happening at a fast pace; she really wished for time to slow down so she could adjust to the changes. Looking around the neighborhood brought confusion to her mind as she could have sworn that not five minutes ago most of Nerima was a flattened battleground.

"Hmmm," contemplated Nabiki while imitating her elder sister; she was on his left arm however. Dark Holy Bell was hovering over her left shoulder, looking just as pensive about the situation.

"Wow," Ukyo approved of the changes. This was infinitely better than the bloodied battlefield in her opinion, it even smelled better. She had somehow draped herself over Ranma's left shoulder, putting a squeeze on the space shared with Nabiki.

"Aiya," softly added Shampoo, her eyes darting to and fro taking in the changes. Her senses, tuned in the way only the Amazons could be, were going haywire as the natural chi felt . . . _wrong_ was the only word she could think of to describe it. Her position was similar to Ukyo, only she was using his right shoulder as a resting place and limiting just how close Kasumi could get.

It took a few moments for Ranma to realize the predicament he was in. Looking left and right revealed the four faces while his senses sent a priority alert to his brain that they were indeed hanging off of his person. He gave a half-lidded thousand yard stare at nothing, before deciding to do something about it.

"I love you guys and all . . .," was all he got out before the quartet collapsed in a heap, hearts for eyes and love clouds drifting about their heads. After sweating at this, he turned towards the Goddesses and Demon. "Ah, a little help here?"

"Look at that," taunted Hild, in the mood for mayhem. "That spell even affected the Angel. Wow Ranma, I had no idea you were such a ladies' man."

"GAH!" was the response, arms waving about in an attempt to deny the words. Out of the corner of his left eye he did note that Dark Holy Bell was down for the count with her host, a blissful smile on her face and the prerequisite hearts for eyes. Then he decided to get his revenge in a most childlike manner. "Hild, darling, I love you too! I wouldn't dream of leaving you out!"

_THUD_

Down she went, faster than a sack of potatoes ejected from an overturned truck. Her state matched the others, only she had the added sparkly effects dancing about her head. It was at this point that Belldandy came around, while Urd was trying to make herself a smaller target.

Literally as she'd assumed her Mini-Goddess form, before trying to hide in her sister's hair. The attempt to hide was only partially successful as World of Elegance got in his face with a puppy dog look.

"Huh?" wondered Ranma, completely lost at the look. Her body language was screaming at him while he was trying not to look at said scantily clad body. This changed when Urd reappeared in a puff of smoke, giving her companion a death glare.

"Are you insane?" she demanded, before sweating from the mental answer. Being a half-breed had its drawbacks, like a half-breed Angel that had no problems cursing like a drunken sailor that was just told life was about to become even more difficult.

"What happened?" came the dazed voice of Belldandy, Holy Bell helping her up. The pair took in the bodies on the ground covered in love effects before joining Urd's companion in giving Ranma the look.

He was _very_ tempted to run away at that point. Bad enough that the female Valkyries he'd experimented on had taken notice that he was at it again and thusly wanted in on the action. He needed a distraction, unfortunately his mind gave him one in the form of his latest 'weapon'.

"_**I LOVE YOU ALL!**_" echoed across the fortress, downing every single female that heard it. It mattered not if they were Human, Angel, Devil, Goddess, Demon, Valkyrie or Senshi.

"Well, I wanted to be alone for a moment," he said to the masses, even if they were off in their own world.

_(Three hundred thirty-two miles away)_

"It wasn't my fault!" roared the diminutive redhead, fleeing in terror from her housemates and special 'visitors'. Blow something up _once_ and get blamed for everything else that went wrong from that point on. Sheesh!

"C'mon, knock it off!" came from the solitary male in the house they shared, looking aggravated at the antics of the others. He was rewarded by the faux-child hiding behind his person while the others came in weapons hot. Pulling his left hand around the right side of his body, he left out a grunt just before flinging it forward.

"WHOA!" screeched the pursuers, scrambling to change course lest they impact the solid wall of light that now stood between them and their target.

"Now-now Tenchi, that's no way to treat a guest," said the chibi-form of Tokimi, somehow looking cute while being stern at the same time. She sweat-dropped at the look she got from said young man in return.

"You want to try that 'proper decorum' bit again?" he deadpanned, nodding in the direction of Washu whom was still hiding behind him and his Light Hawk Wings.

"Where'd Sasami, or more to the point Tsunami, go?" piped up the scientist, noting that they were one person short in the usually crowded house.

_(Merged Realities Heaven)_

Stoic and Depression Almighty stared at each other, not wanting to believe that the first of the mergers had occurred so soon. The reality that was the latest addition to the 'family' was under the jurisdiction of the Chousin and as such had no Aspects for administrators.

Across the massive desk from the pair sat the last being they'd wanted to encounter again, especially under these circumstances. In fact they were using the staring contest as a way to avoid looking at their 'guest'.

"So," began Tsunami, looking as stern as anybody had ever seen while at the same time impersonating Funaho, "long time no see. Although I must say I disapprove of what you've done with the place."

The staring contest continued as both knew that the second they looked over at her they'd be reduced to whimpering masses of flesh. She was angry yet was willing to let them explain themselves . . . Himself . . . hopefully to her satisfaction.

"And where's that brother of mine?"

_(Nerima)_

"Ooh Ranma!" cooed the mass of female bodies as the chase continued through the district. When they had started to come around he knew he was in trouble by the looks he'd received and had run as fast as his legs would go.

"GAH!" was his reply, going faster than ever across the Tokyo Expressway, trying to put some distance between his person and the pursuers. It really wasn't working as those that had the ability were literally flying in his wake, while those that lacked the power were roof-hopping. Kasumi was in the arms of World of Elegance while Holy Bell assisted Nabiki. Dark Holy Bell scowled at her missing wing for a moment before rejoining her host in the chase.

"Check it out," gawked one of the onlookers, pointing at the mass of humanity –or so they thought- that had taken to the skies. This being a different Nerima the residents hadn't been exposed to the weird and bizarre by any stretch of the imagination. A few panicked, many froze in stupefaction, some made phone calls while the rest decided it was a hallucination and returned to their previous activities.

The chase made the news, the entire populace of Japan being treated to the sight of flying people. Cameras were everywhere, from the eye in the sky helicopters to ground crews trying to keep up.

_(Masaki Residence)_

"Those are . . .," started chibi-Tokimi, sweating at what she was seeing. The latest mayhem to hit the house had calmed down once Tenchi reasserted himself as the superior being . . . truthfully, all he had to do after deploying his power was frown in their direction. Even Washu feared the frown, for she had seen first-hand what stage came next. In various ways they all had, so keeping him from becoming _upset_ was something of a priority.

"I wonder what they're doing here?" said scientist thought out loud, a trait she had picked up in the recent years. Getting any form of peace and quiet around the Masaki heir was next to impossible unless he was in a mood . . . or cooking, a rare treat in and of itself.

"Winged beings?" Ayeka gasped out in disbelief. Earth was offering more and more mysteries to not only the First and Second Princesses but the Jurai Ruling Council as a whole. Rumblings were heard that this lost Colony may very well have made themselves _lost_ in a sense as they unlocked those mysteries. Funaho was no doubt being grilled on her homeworld as the transmitter Misaki had insisted on relayed the events to the Palace.

"Check out that one," pointed Mihoshi, drawing their attention to the white and black one that was carrying another. Her ditzy persona was turned off as her mind made notes on everything that was occurring for her monthly report. The entire situation reminded her of something from her youth; something that was a religious taboo on her homeworld of Seniwa.

"So that's what it looks like," mumbled Tenchi to nobody in particular, now seeing his life being imitated by another. The events in the prefecture of Nerima were putting much into perspective for the Crown Prince, while leaving just as much in deeper shadow than ever before.

". . .," added the sound-asleep Sasami, having been located in the kitchen propped up against the refrigerator. One look at the glowing marks on her forehead told the others all they needed to know as to why she was unresponsive at the moment: Tsunami was busy with something that required her entire attention.

"Oh my," Noike said while doing a Kasumi impersonation flawlessly, complete with hands on her face in surprise and awe. What she was seeing couldn't possibly be true as it flew in the face of everything the priests on Jurai taught of Tsunami and religion as a whole.

"Sister," started the smaller form of Tokimi, "could he be the cause of the dimensional quake we felt earlier?"

Washu had her translucent interface before her after a wave, typing as fast as any had ever seen. She'd learned during the Hyper-dimension Incident to listen to the insights offered by the Goddess of Power, enigmatic as they were. If the young man running for his life had attracted the attention of Tokimi then she had best look into it as well.

"Chaos energy? Where have I seen this before?" she soon questioned herself, not seeing the eyes of her sister bug out. Her musings had also attracted the attention of those around her, many using looks to ask for clarification.

"What's with the facial markings?" demanded Ryoko, speaking up at long last. Everything about the situation was bothering her, while at the same time it was making her want to laugh then cry. She had stolen a glance at Tenchi and could see that he was connecting dots between his life and the life of the young man on the television.

"Those with the marks are not of this dimension," answered Tokimi after reopening her eyes. She'd been in conference with the administrator known as D-3. "Those that are blue are in the service of Him while those that are red are in the service of Her. The light colored winged beings are the companions to those of Order while the darker, more leathery ones are the familiars to those of Disorder. The sole exception is the half-breed, the reflection of a Hybrid."

"The multiverse cornerstone?" whispered Washu, suddenly changing tactics in her analysis. Memories long sealed resurfaced, paling her complexion to a pasty white rapidly approaching death warmed over. There was only one Hybrid she'd known of in her entire existence, one that had been born shortly after . . .

"It's him!" she suddenly shouted, pointing at the young man at the front of the chase. "He's been freed!"

"Who?" wondered Ayeka, completely baited by the outburst. She wasn't the only one as a quick glance revealed almost every eye on the small scientist.

"Brother . . .," answered a reminiscing Tokimi, her eyes glazed as she remembered a time long past.

"Master Chaos has indeed been freed," came the voice of Tsunami, heralding her arrival as she faded into view. This also awoke Sasami, both pieces to a single being looking none too happy. "But that's not all. Washu, check coordinates zero by zero by zero by one."

"The Alpha Prime Point? Wait, don't tell me . . .," trailed off Tokimi as she opened her senses fully to the new reality around her.

"Yes, Those That Came Before are also free," was the answer from Washu, her face set in the most grim look any had ever seen.

"Can somebody explain what is going on?" timidly asked Tenchi, his eyes looking at everybody at once in an effort to find somebody who had answers.

The answer he got was not what he wanted as the story of The Beginning was told. The Chousin, being siblings to Chaos, had created their own universe in the hopes of hiding from the Order as He went on a rampage, going after anything or anyone related to the last vestige of the Abyss. Matters were not helped any by the fact that He was the sole child of Tsunami, her one attempt before The Experiment at creating a being higher than herself. He was born from the nothing, just as they were which both helped and hindered her attempts. For without a father, He was missing crucial components that Tenchi had. Being born of love was far more powerful than being born of simple experimentation and scientific desire.

"Wait a moment," interrupted said Masaki. "Are you saying that when I have children they are going to have more power than I do?"

"The probabilities of that are small," answered Washu. "You are what we've been looking for after all. Like we told you, everything from the Incident forward is all up to you. We've done our part and see no reason to continue the Experiment."

"So is this . . . _Chaos_," Ayeka nearly spat the word, having a hard time coming to grips with the truth, "really evil or is he as misunderstood as Tokimi?"

"He is the Maintainer of the Balance," replied said Goddess, her eyes downcast. "Both the Order and Disorder despised him for his power and for the fact that he would stop their nastier schemes." Her eyes flickered to the television, then her right eyebrow climbed upwards. "Although it appears that not all of the Aspects thought so."

Washu took a hard look to see what is was that her sister was talking about before her face lost its color yet again. There was only one being she knew of that had red five-point stars on her cheeks and what looked like a matching, filled in Star of David on her forehead.

"Reunification . . .," offered Tsunami, bringing all attention onto her person. Seeing comprehending looks from her sisters she didn't expound upon her statement for them but the expressions from the others urged her to explain herself.

"He and Her, the Almighty and Hild, were forced to create the multiverse after The Sealing. The universe we originated from couldn't hold itself together without the Balance Keeper, and to buy time they created a cornerstone by having a child." She pointed at the one flying alongside the half-breed Angel. "Urd, daughter of Order and Disorder. There was a catch to all of this, however. When the Sealing occurred, Chaos had split his essence from his core, creating what were simply called System Bugs. This gave birth to a prophecy amongst the Angels and Devils that one day he would return. The key to this was also Urd; it was told that if she ever sided with an Incarnate in the right situation the seal containing Chaos would be breeched. From there the multiverse would go one of two ways: Reunification or Destruction. Master Chaos has a grudge with Order, one that if he so wished could lead to the End of Days."

"Now that Those That Came Before are also free," continued Tokimi, having assumed her ethereal form, "Twilight of the Gods is most certainly upon us. They were none too happy about being locked away at the Alpha Prime Point of Existence; the place where the Abyss gave life to the original universe. Warmongers they may be, but they know better than to go against Chaos for he is the only one with a deep enough connection to our Creator to wipe them from the pages of history."

"Most likely," picked up Washu, also in ethereal form, "our reality merged with the one that Chaos now calls home. If he was the cause it or if it's our connection to him I don't know. We must be alert however as Order will not pull his punches simply because we're now present."

"Are you telling me that the war to end all wars has just dropped into our lap?" demanded Tenchi, the frown back and his eyebrows slightly tilted downwards.

"Yes," answered the Chousin together, their expressions grim. "Order has lost control of the situation and has resorted to the final plan: Ragnarok."

"Wonderful," came the deadpan chorus of the others, heads drooping downwards.

"We must travel to Nerima," said Tsunami, bringing the heads back up to stare at her like she was insane. "Whomever Chaos is now must be warned of what is to come. Besides, I'd like to say hello to my Brother for the first time in millennia."

The chaotic energy within the reborn Chaos, as they had yet to acquire his name, had different ideas. As they watched the proceedings with vast interest, his hair moved for the first time. To the casual observer, this would mean naught. To those that knew of a passenger, this would send them fleeing in terror if they'd had the debugger shades on.

Instantaneously did the television change channels, which switched the program being transmitted to Jurai. Instead of a mad dash through the prefects of Tokyo the residents of the Masaki household were treated to American stand-up comedy.

Pablo Francisco variety to be exact, doing movie previews.

"_One man, one way,_" came from the speakers in English as the movie trailer guy was impersonated. "_One desire. They went too far; they broke all the rules. One man: Kermit the Frog as a Pimp . . .,_"

"_Where's my money?!_" The sound of a heavy punch landing. "_Where is it?!_"

Tenchi was the only one to catch this reference, to which he fell over laughing. This drowned out the sounds coming from the television, while the others watched slack-jawed. He was guffawing so hard that his entire frame shook as he rolled around on the floor. Just when he got his laughter under control, he heard the next bit.

"_In the city, you must fight to survive,_" movie trailer guy again. "_He sold Tortilla's on the corner. And the mob wanted him . . .,_"

"_I don't know who this guy is but I want him and his tamales dead!_" Mob Boss voice, more than likely Al Pachino.

"_He had one chance, and his chance was to fight back. Arnold Schwarzenegger . . .,_"

"_You listen to me, these are my tortillas and I'm not gonna give 'em up. Listen to me!_"

_Cheesy gunshot effects_

"_In a place where they didn't know his name . . .,_"

"_Mi hito, who are those men who came here?! Wha's happening?!_" ten year old Hispanic boy, heavily accented.

"_Listen to me, listen to me! Keep your head down! They're trying to take my tortillas!"_ The 'Govern-ator'.

_More cheesy gunshot effects_

"_One man. One solution. Arnold Schwarzenegger this summer is . . .,_"

"_NO!_"

"_Little Tortilla Boy._"

He tried not to repeat his previous laugh-fest, just picturing the 'movie preview' in his mind but couldn't help it. Sweat-drops were the answer as the others had the Earth-born comedy go right over their heads.

"Uh, are you okay?" ventured Noike as his arm appeared from the floor, trying to find purchase on something to stand up. This backfired when Mihoshi moved forward, presenting her pink tank top as a handhold.

Predictable results? Oh yes.

_(Nerima rooftops)_

Ranma paused in his flight as an explosion of power from the southwest caught his attention. Even this far away he was left in awe at the sheer magnitude of it. The power burst also served to stop the pursuers in their tracks, eyes going wild as they looked around for signs of the enemy.

"Odd," he commented, before feeling a breeze. Taking in the blushes his chasers now had, he looked down to see that his pants had indeed fallen down again.

"Ah jeez."

_(Alpha Prime Point of Existence)_

"FREE!" roared the largest of the gigantic beings while turning towards his army. "At long last we are _free!_ Nothing can stop us this time. We will wreak havoc on the universe, and clean the slate. We will rebuild it in our image, and return to glory. _Long live the Titans!_"

"_LONG LIVE THE TITANS!_" returned the massive beings, each justifying their namesake.

The beings looked at the galaxies around them. There being more natural light at the Point since the system star had been absorbed in the seal made this task easy. One by one they took off, each heading towards a different location and reality.

'_Order, you __**will**__ pay with your life_,' thought the Titan known as Chronos. He has a different destination in mind, shifting his being to the Heavenly plane. The reckoning would begin very soon . . .

TBC

A little shorter than normal, but my mind is locking up. No worries, it's just a tooth ache. Nothing like pain to remind you that yer alive.

This concludes Arc One. Arc Two will fill in any holes that are pointed out while a merry jaunt through the Tenchi/GXP universe takes place.

I don't feel so good . . .

For a link to the Pablo Francisco bit, see my profile.

Finished in Big Spring, Texas.


	19. PCPIBLS 7

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

BOOM SHAKALAKA!

Rant: Rather long delay I know, just been researching ideas and styles to make this fic work. There's more notes and whatnot at the end.

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty-Bitty Living Space Arc Two Part One

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_(Undisclosed Dimension)_

Events come and go no matter which path a person, or an entire reality, takes. This reality had its far share of ups and downs, strife and joy. One such case of strife was a rather dreary night on the last day of October.

The Heavens of this reality were in a panic, as events played out in Midgard. A powerful dimensional quake had occurred and was affecting everything. There was no hope of diverting events on the surface world now as the first shockwave made itself known.

Screams and the sound of battle filled the air this night, alongside maniacal laughter. The interior of the house that had been the battlefield became silent, save for the laughter and the cries of a baby. The laughter died down then was immediately followed by a flash of green.

As observed by both sides of the Conflict, everything was as it should be. Their opinion of this changed as in a bizarre twist that only Chaos can cause the full power of the dimensional quake intersected with the contact point of a surge of power that would have ended the caster's corporeal existence.

"_NO!"_ a rather shrill yet male voice roared, watching stupefied as what should have killed the boy came flying back at him. He tried to disperse his consciousness amongst his trump cards but found most of the links cut off. For the first time the voice of the man that had terrified many demonstrated his own fears as loud as his voice box could.

Those watching were confused. So far everything had gone as ordained by the Script. Why did the situation feel so . . . _wrong_?

The answer came from a solitary monitor in Asgard, one that hadn't been looked at in millennia. The wound on the forehead of the baby boy, shaped like a lightning bolt due to the power behind the quake, pulsed in rhythm with his heart for ten minutes, before fading away to nothing. In the future of another timeline, it could be compared to an Inter-Plexing Beacon . . .

_(Ten years later . . .)_

Odd things happening didn't begin to cover the life and times of one Harry Potter. As long as he could remember, he'd had some control over the power that he felt flowing through his veins.

If any mortal had witnessed his life up to this point they'd be sickened by what they saw. All that the now eleven year-old boy knew of his parents were lies told by his relatives, immediately before being shoved into the hated cupboard under the stairs.

He was ignorant of most things in life, while being overeducated in others. The things that the rest of humanity took for granted, like the drive and the bonds of friendships, he equated to pain. Being able to take care of himself, however, was something that many parents would find joy with under more ideal circumstances. His domestic skills were honed under the watchful eye –and rolling pin or whatever weapon of choice on hand- of the loathsome Petunia Dursley, more commonly referred to as the giraffe. Hard labor was no stranger to him, from knowing how to cook to weeding the garden to perfection.

There were many things that he kept hidden from his 'family'. His intelligence could be compared to a certain red haired Goddess cum scientist. His core had developed much earlier than what would be normal, and just as unusual he could deduce what he needed to do to get desired results like there was an instruction manual in his head. Something was missing to make it work completely though, and anything more than what would get him a job as a magician tired him immensely.

Love was such a foreign concept to him, which was the root of his ignorance. Many would wonder how it was possible that he hadn't gone insane and slaughtered the relatives. Just as many would be horrified that he'd prefer to go to sleep permanently, and had tried several times to reach this state. As always something kept him alive, something that warmed his heart whenever he thought on it.

It seems that James and Lily Potter had no desire to see their son so soon. They interfered more than was allowed, although they got away with it since the Almighty was preoccupied with something else. They had noticed that Heaven was in an uproar, leaving the mortal souls to do as they please without consequence.

Being the end of July –the entire reason he could claim his eleventh year- today's oddness menu included owls. Vernon Dursley, whale of a being that dared to insult man, was thundering back and forth through the house chasing the damnable birds. While Harry couldn't see exactly what was going on, the voice of what many would consider at first glance to be a walrus gave him a play-by-play account of the goings on. There were apparently five owls in the house, each one trying to get near the locked door to his 'room'. The human walrus was playing goal keeper, thwarting the 'flying rodents' until the front door nearly caved in from a rather forceful knock. This distracted Vernon, allowing four of the owls to begin working on the locks. The fifth wasn't so lucky, having been launched across the room by the bat he was wielding.

_CRASH_

The front door fell down, admitting the rather large man that had been demanding entrance for the past ten minutes. He eyes gazed around the room from behind the mass of hair that was his head, before catching sight of the fifth owl smashing into a wall before falling to the ground.

"Ye killed 'im!" he roared, making the house vibrate as he strode forward before snatching the bat rather forcefully from the hands of the walking talking whale. After crushing the bat into sawdust, he took note of the other owls struggling with the locks on the cupboard. They moved out of his way as he reached in with a massive hand to simply remove the door from its mountings revealing the subject of his search.

"Wha' are ye doin' under them stairs?" he asked with a much quieter voice, taking in the appearance of the boy. He smelt rather bad, was dangerously thin and had several bruises that had yet to heal. The state of the youth was so bad that he couldn't even get to his feet under his own power and was obviously favoring his right leg.

_BOOM_

The gunshot echoed throughout the house, and more than one neighbor heard it. The larger, and by far more pleasant, of the two men straightened up and turned around. Vernon looked scared witless now, the still smoking barrel of the shotgun in his hands shaking rather rapidly.

Through the destroyed door came Miss Figg, known throughout the neighborhood as the Cat Lady and the only one that would willingly look after Harry whenever the Dursley's would go out. Taking in the sight of Vernon in a contest of wills with the Keeper of the Keys and Grounds Hagrid was at first amusing, before she noticed the shotgun. Looking behind the half-giant revealed Harry, in a state she had never seen. She'd always told that bumbling fool Dumbledore that Harry needed to be moved, and every time was told that it was impossible because of some old blood magic that was so vague even he couldn't describe it.

"Floo him to Hogwarts," rumbled Hagrid, not taking his eyes off of the Dursley patriarch. Whenever the accent vanished people knew that he was in full seriousness mode and followed his commands without delay, lest his wrath be directed to them. "Then tell Dumbledore I want a word."

_Oh yeah, he's mad_, thought the woman as she charged across the room where she got her first full look at Harry. All of the damage was new, as he had just looked underfed two days ago. With grace and power that belied her age she scooped him up then fled to her house while the contest of wills continued while the female giraffe cowered in the kitchen doorway.

Just as Harry crossed the threshold, what he uttered would change things as they stood in the Wizarding World.

"This is not my home. This is not my life. I hate this."

Albus Dumbledore had a feeling that something had just gone wrong with Harry. Hagrid was taking an awfully long time in collecting him from Number Four Privet Drive and running the errand he'd been sent on. Contemplating the situation by thousand yard staring at the surface of his desk, he was suddenly brought out of his thoughts by one of the many trinkets around his office exploding rather loudly. The sudden shock was enough to send him toppling over backwards, legs sticking straight into the air. With the surprise came his first bout of accidental magic in nearly a century.

If anybody had seen the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they would have been treated to the sight of his waist length beard puffing out like an agitated cat before rolling itself all the way up to his face.

After righting himself, he reached for the Calming Draught laced lemon drops that was always in supply in his candy dish. The drop proved for naught when the floo flared to life, disgorging Miss Arabella Figg and the subject of his musings Harry Potter. She barely looked at him while charging headlong out of the Headmaster's office.

What he'd seen in the three seconds the youth had been there made him frown rather deeply. The twinkle that usually graced his eyes vanished, before he finally stirred into motion.

Something else, which he would later wish to have been in his office for, happened due to Harry having his first contact with outside magic since acquiring the scar. It was a major event marked by many strange, and taken for granted, magic's going awry.

The Floo Network had the sudden desire to vomit the travelers out, regardless if they were at their destination or not. A few families found themselves short a child; these were redirected to Hogwarts herself. Those that were ejected tried to reenter the network but found the powder unresponsive. When the last traveler was ejected every fireplace in Britain connected to the network belched red flames for a solid five minutes before coughing a few clouds of jet black ash.

At Gringotts the Goblins were in a panic –an emotion that is extremely hard for them to feel- running back and forth as chaos descended upon them. The magic's governing the Inheritance Rite had stumbled upon a name then ran amok as other names were tossed in by the Soul Watchers. As these names were tossed in the Rite had to backtrack their histories as well as the first; the fact that the Wizarding World felt it necessary to inbreed from time to time created loops and the occasional paradox. Even the oldest magic can be confused, which led to the Rite and the Watch spitting out a cluster of names before self-destructing from the overload. The backlash caused the Record Keeping magic to follow in its footsteps, starting a chain reaction that forced the bank to close for the first time in over a century.

Back at Hogwarts, Dumbledore had made it half way to the Hospital Wing when he felt first the school then his companion Fawkes demanding his attention in his office as he had unscheduled visitors. Grumbling about the recent madness that had apparently taken over the world, he arced his turnaround so that his beard –traveling behind him in his haste- stayed out of his eyes.

In the Headmaster's office several sets of eyes were looking around extremely confused. At least one in the crowd knew where they were, but could offer no explanation on how they got there let alone why they were separated from their families. It also didn't help that two of them had been Apparated in from the muggle world and was cowering in a corner bawling their eyes out.

"Miss Tonks," heralded the arrival of Dumbledore as he door crashed open, "could you explain why you're all in my office?"

"I was hoping you could answer that," said the hoodwinked Nymphadora Tonks, keeping her gestures small in an effort to control her clumsiness while blinking owlishly. "With the exception of the two in the corner, we were traveling by floo with our families –separately, mind you- when we landed here. We've each tried to floo out but the Network appears to be down." Here she paused, taking in the muggle-born in the corner and making certain to point them out. "She was Apparated in by . . . something . . . and have no idea what's going on, Professor."

Taking in the bush that represented the hair he had a very good idea of whom was scared silly in his office. Making a quick decision, he started back towards the spinning staircase. "Come with me everybody, we'll sort this out in the Hospital Wing."

Madam Pomfrey had her hands full enough with the condition that Harry was in, so it was understandable that she was less than amused when Albus led more children into her domain. Seeing Tonks was no surprise, even if the new term hadn't started yet. Seeing children that were either about to enter or were a year away from entering Hogwarts caused her right eyebrow to arch upwards in a classic Spock Maneuver.

"How's Harry?" were the first words out of his mouth, to which he was rewarded with a scowl from several sides of the room. Minerva McGonagall had apparently gotten wind that young Potter was on the premises and was in full mothering mode. She was quite unhappy with the conditions that he had to grow up in, after being filled in by Rubeus Hagrid whom was on the verge of using his height to loom over his boss.

"Bah, Potters!" grumbled quite possibly the second most unwanted voice in the world. Glare and demeanor in place, Severus Snape was making it a point to observe the goings on anyway. Very few knew of the fact that when he looked at Harry he was more mad at himself for fumbling a relationship with Lily and was looking at the son he never had.

The young ones that had followed Dumbledore into the domain of Pomfrey paused in mid-step as their minds made the connection. Said Medi-witch was now glaring in two directions at once while trying to make herself into an obstacle as the next generation of witches charged the one occupied bed.

Harry was rather bored, wandering what he had determined to be his mindscape as the potions that Pomfrey had fed him knocked him out. How he knew this to be true was beyond him, but the descriptor felt right. If he concentrated he could hear what was going on in the outside world but for the moment could care less. Having gone through the contents of his mind and restructuring it to his liking –a chore that most wouldn't accomplish in their lifetime- he found that the scar was acting like a link to the magic around him, filling his mind with every spell, charm, enchantment, hex, curse and ward ever created. If asked, he could give a twenty minute presentation on the _Avada Kedavra_ from how it was created, it's original use as a way to bloodlessly slaughter animals for food to adoption into the Unforgivables after one was intentionally aimed at a human. He also took note of a second consciousness being blocked by an energy that he couldn't identify, an energy that felt chaotic to the extreme.

His senses alerted him to the fact that he was no longer alone in his mindscape; those that had recently found their way in were waiting in the mental equivalent of the sitting room. Shifting in without a sound –this was his mind after all, he could control things like this- he observed them, taking in every detail that he could.

The oldest of the group appeared to be four, maybe five, years older than himself. Her hair was cycling colors at a rapid pace while her face betrayed her stupefaction at finding herself in a completely different situation.

The rest were either eleven or ten, if his guess was correct and they all appeared to be utterly terrified. The bushy brunette and the pigtailed sandy-blonde appeared to be the worst in this category, which actually relieved him in a way. Looking to his left, a pale-blonde was making an effort to keep her facial expression blank yet he could feel the waves of panic coming from her. There was something else about her that he couldn't quite place, a mild form of madness that might be intentional to distance herself from others or hide an ability that she didn't want known. Off to the right was a redhead that had brunette tones, depending on the lighting angle, looking at a bizarre abstract painting on the wall that featured a rather plump boy sporting a pig's tail on his hind end.

"Hi there," he announced his presence to the quartet, making them leap for the 'ceiling' and screeching their surprise. "My name is Harry Potter, welcome to . . . well, wherever we are."

The humor was lost on the others, as they glared at him for scaring them.

"Can we possibly be in your mind?" came from the brunette, her voice on the verge of being haughty or if keeping in tone with her emotions, panicked. When she looked into his eyes she suddenly felt exposed to the extreme, as if her soul was an open book to be read by all.

"Personally, I have no idea," he answered a few moments later, doing his best to mask his surprise at this newfound ability to read another's mind in the literal sense. "And please, don't try so hard to distance yourself from . . . us." The pause was to make an observation of the others, performing what his link to magic informed him was _Legilimency_.

Shocked that he had indeed run through her mental Rolodex she flopped rather limply onto a convenient chair that hadn't been there a moment ago. While she recovered he returned his attention to the others that were watching with awe.

"C'mon now, I gave my name," he smirked lightly, delivering the humor he felt as they blushed in embarrassment and having the attention of the Boy-Who-Lived. This thought had been broadcast rather loudly so it came as no surprise he picked it up. "Boy who what? Wait, tell me who you are first."

Silence was the answer, as they all looked at him surprised that he'd picked up a thought from their collective minds.

"Nymphadora Tonks," suddenly said the elder of the group. "But just call me Tonks as I rather dislike my given name."

"Susan Bones," came from the redhead, "Niece of Amelia Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

The pale-blonde had been starring off into space, idly twisting her head left and right like she was studying the meaning of life. It took her a moment to realize that she was under the scrutiny of her host. "Luna Lovegood. It's an honor to meet you."

"C'mon Sue, why'd you break out that little tidbit about your Aunt?" demanded the dirty-blonde, exasperated by her friend. After giving a rather impressive evil eye did she turn her attention to the boy in front of her. "Hannah Abbot."

All eyes fell on the brunette, whom was still stewing trying to work up an outrage at having her deepest secrets thrust into the open. Having nothing to go with she stood up with a much more relaxed posture, deciding to drop the haughty shell and be herself.

"Hermione Granger, nice to meet you."

While the meeting of the minds took place, the Hospital Wing was in a rather bad state. When the five had charged the sole occupant of the beds, the adults were too slow to react. They each went for the scar at the same time, incidentally overlapping hands just before contact was made. When they touched, there was a rather massive burst of pure power from Harry blowing everything from beds to bodies –minus those that were touching the scar- into the walls. Hagrid was blown out the doors into the hallway, somehow rolling over Misses Norris without squashing the cat.

"Merlin's beard!" shouted Dumbledore at the commotion died down, revealing him plastered to the wall upside down. The last time he'd felt that burst of power was Halloween of '81, just as intense now as it was then. Taking into consideration the distance from Godric's Hollow to Hogwarts he had no doubt that all of the United Kingdom and the European coast felt the burst.

"That hurt," came the deadpan voice of Snape from somewhere within the wreckage. The sounds of metal being moved around was then heard, followed by footsteps.

"What was that Albus?" wondered a dazed McGonagall as she stumbled about, her equilibrium messed up from being hit in the head with an empty potion flask.

"A little help here!" demanded Pomfrey, stuck under an overturned bed and unable to reach her wand.

Once the Wing was restored to normal, it became apparent that they had extra patients rather quickly. The girls that had been led in by Dumbledore were all unconscious, and even the normal spacing between beds from Harry caused the entire lot pain and made breathing difficult. Transfiguring the bed from single to a pair of side-by-side California King's allowed the six to have physical contact to which their subconscious took advantage of rather quickly.

It was just after sorting them out that owls started to arrive. One, a snow-white owl was ignored as it perched itself directly over Harry's head while softly bark-hooting and occasionally bobbing its head.

"We had better go collect the parents," said a distracted Dumbledore as he read the parchment from the DMLE. Seeing return names clued him in to the identities of the other girls, even if Andromeda Tonks was threatening to send a Howler if he didn't come up with answers in a quick order. Although he had to stare at the one owl that belonged to the school, as it had a letter from the Grangers that demonstrated their panic.

"The floo network is down," Minerva read the parchment from Gringotts. "And the Goblins are reporting that the bank is closed indefinitely until their magic system is restored to normal." Left unsaid was that there was another parchment for Harry which needed his immediate attention. She had decided not to say anything about this second delivery yet because she had a sneaking suspicious that Albus would try to stomp on whatever it was and prevent the young Potter from learning of it.

Fawkes made his appearance at this point, gliding into the room before landing at Harry's feet. Getting a bark and a nod from the snowy owl, he carefully made his way onto his chest before setting in and resting his head on the scar.

The adults minus Pomfrey went to work collecting parents as it would be rather pointless to send a reply by owl then wait for them to appear via Apparation. The wards around the school would have them land in Hogsmeade anyway, so this would allow them time to explain what they knew of the situation before arriving at Hogwarts.

Two hours later, the now sizable crowd gathered around the massive bed, frowns on more than one face at the sight of their daughter nestled in with a boy and had doubts as to the identity of said boy as Fawkes was still covering the scar.

"This is an outrage!" roared Amelia Bones, causing the others to flinch away in fear. The matriarch of the Bones clan was on the verge of a full blown rant when she reached in and snatched her niece. While normally level-headed and fair, those traits went out the window whenever her charge –and the last of her family- was involved.

The result was instantaneous as the young ones lost the ability to breathe and started groaning in pain. This stopped Amelia as she had started for the door, Susan squirming in pain and obviously suffering. She ran back to where she started, almost throwing her only niece back onto the bed in panic. After a moment of rearranging the young ones, their condition improved greatly.

"As you can see," started Dumbledore with an extra twinkle in his eyes that infuriated people, "it is highly advised to keep them in close proximity to each other. We don't know if the distance will matter in the future, but for now they must be like this."

"What is this?" wondered Andromeda Tonks, carefully stroking her daughter's head as a method of calming herself down and trying to think the situation through.

"We don't really know," answered McGonagall. "Severus is down in the library looking up the symptoms displayed by them to see if there's ever been an event like this before."

"Is it really him?" came from Ted Tonks, using his left thumb to point at Harry. His mind was going around in circles, trying to analyze everything at once from every angle.

In response to the question, Fawkes moved his head revealing the scar for the first time. This changed the demeanors of the parents minus the Grangers whom had no idea what was so significant about a scar shaped like lightning.

After an hour of bringing the parents of Hermione into the loop about what was so important about the boy, they gave a stone faced nod in the direction of Dumbledore. Health-wise so long that, for the foreseeable future, she was with Harry she was perfectly fine. The term was due to start in a month, however because of Luna they were debating about either starting her early or having the others start a year later, plus having to take into consideration that Tonks was about to start her seventh year. It took a while for the parents to note that there was no voice in the debate for Harry save Dumbledore, who was pushing rather hard to start the youngest one early.

"Damn it Albus, what is so important about Harry that he _must_ start this term?" barked Xenophilius Lovegood, making his presence known for the first time.

The Headmaster looked at the expectant faces of the parents, his staff, then over at Harry himself who while still unconscious gave a vibe that he was listening very aptly to the conversation.

"Voldemort," massive flinch at the name, "is rumored to still be alive. His body was not found at Godric's Hollow, and his followers still bear his mark. It's faded, but still there nonetheless meaning the Dark Lord is still around. I fear he will try again to take Harry from us, and this must not be allowed. He must be trained to handle any and everything that is thrown at him."

There was obviously much more to the situation then that however he didn't divulge exactly what it was, in typical Dumbledore fashion. If the parchment from Gringotts –that he knew better than to open- was what he thought it was then Harry was about to be thrust unprepared into the adult world. It pained him greatly that the last of the Potters was about to lose what was left of his childhood, no matter how bad it was . . . at least, that was the outward appearance that he gave.

Snape made a timely entrance, robes billowing out in his wake like he was the Messiah of yore and full of self-importance. This distracted the adults from the previous conversation, and he took a moment to revel in the attention he was receiving for he knew that when he delivered his findings that the attention would again focus on Potter.

Slamming a book down on a table, he opened it to a earmarked page before storming out of the Hospital Wing, not wanting to hear a word about the gifts Potter had just been handed on a silver platter without lifting a finger to earn them.

"Great, he's still on about Lily," grumbled Hagrid, eyes hardening in anger and outrage. The remark earned more than one eyebrow raised in curiosity, although he refused to elaborate.

"Lily? I once knew a Lily Evans," chimed in Rose Granger, Hermione's mother. It was obvious between the elder Grangers where the bushy hair came from as she tried in vain to move her bangs out of her eyes. "But I haven't seen her since just before her eleventh birthday."

"Lily Evans is Harry's mother," explained Dumbledore, having conjured a purple recliner to sit on. "She, like your daughter, was a muggle-born witch and attended Hogwarts. It was here that she met James Potter, although it took the better part of six years for them to fall in love. The only problem was that Severus was also a student who fancied Lily, and if James hadn't screwed his head on straight I dare say that the Potter line would have died out."

"Oh great Merlin!" gasped out Minerva, having paid more attention to the book than the history that existed between Snape and the Potters, already being well aware of it. Her outburst drew the attention of the others which prompted her to read the entry aloud.

"_The rarest of rare in the bonds is the Soul Bond; going many levels deeper than the Marriage Bond, Consort Bond, Concubine Bond or even the out-of-use Slave Bond. Quite literally any that are bonded in this manner share their life and magic for if one were to perish so would the other. Since record keeping began in 104 BC, there has never been more than two people in the Soul Bond at any given moment, although there have been emergency transfers –creating magical twins- used to spare the life of the survivor. The last Soul Bonds recorded were between Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw; Salazar Slytherin and Helga Hufflepuff. It is noted that there is a prophecy attached to the Founders and their Heir, although it has been lost to the annals of time._"

Those in the know of the Wizarding World were finding themselves openly staring at the unconscious Harry, to which Fawkes turned his head in their direction before giving trill.

_(Ranma-verse post merger, Saotome Fortress)_

"This is getting old," rumbled Ranma while pinching the bridge of his nose like he was fending off a migraine. He had taken advantage of a break in the action to do this, before leaping back into battle. Things weren't going his way this day.

Shortly after returning from the Chase as he'd come to call it, he was under siege by Ryoga and in a twist of fate he should have seen coming Akane. The pair were focused upon his person and were ignoring everything else. The battle was fierce, between the walking explosive known as Hibiki and his desire not to harm Akane he found himself at a disadvantage. Not particularly caring about the why he was being attacked, instead he focused on defending his person and counterattacking as much as he could.

This strategy, while initially successful, was halted by a sudden pain traveling throughout his body to which the pair took advantage of, launching him into a wall. Using the distraction, Ryoga charged Ranma while Akane turned on her sisters much to their surprise. It didn't take her long to subdue them as they had made the mistake of isolating themselves from any help, before jamming eleven centimeter tall mushrooms down their throats. Smirking in triumph, she turned her attention to Ryoga whom had just finished doing the same thing to Ranma.

The three regressed in age, now appearing no older than eleven years old. However, before the pair could cause any more damage they were captured rather forcefully by a battalion of Valkyries that looked rather upset at the situation.

"Great, the damned mushrooms again," rumbled Ukyo, having picked another one up. A part of her felt compelled to eat it, to which she did before even thinking about what she was actually doing. Looking to her left revealed Shampoo doing the same thing, leaving the core that surrounded Ranma at the tender age of eleven.

As Ryoga and Akane were hustled off to the dungeons by a platoon of Demoness' that looked mad at the loss of eye-candy, Ranma let out an animalistic roar of pain before landing on his face. He was rushed by those that had eaten the mushroom, the Norns and Hild. This turned out to be a good thing as they each had a hand gripping his shirt in an effort to lift him, forgetting that there were beings around that could do so with a gesture and application of mana or phisogue as he started to phase out of the reality.

"Good BYE!" taunted Akane, having turned around in time to see the lot vanish with a thunderclap of displaced air. Feeling extra haughty now that they were gone, she dared to boss the Demons around.

Bad idea? Oh yes. They made it clear that even though she was currently the last of the Tendo's present, she had no authority whatsoever while threatening to feed her to the Hellhounds. Ryoga took exception to this and received a similar treatment for his troubles.

"Where is he?" demanded a new voice, just before they entered the barracks that housed the only entrance to the dungeons. All eyes fell on the newest beings to come to the Fortress, taking in the red-haired woman that had spoken.

"That piece of garbage is gone, hopefully for good!" roared Akane in challenge, not noticing that the Goddesses and Demons were bowing in reverence to the newcomers.

"The Chousin!" panicked one of the lower ranked Demons, backing away in absolute terror.

"Yes, now where is our brother? Where is Chaos?" again demanded Washu, having been elected spokesperson for the group and looking none too happy.

_(Potter-verse, moments after Fawkes trilled)_

The air crackled with power, forcing those that could to erect the most powerful _Protego_ shields they could while one of them managed to cast a _Silencio_ behind the shield just in case things got loud. The power continued to build before folding back upon itself, to which there was a boom comparable to five nuclear warheads going off at once. Everything not bolted down –somehow the bed that Harry and the girls were resting on was untouched- took flight for the walls again. Every window in the castle blew out, raining glass onto the courtyards below. The noise was heard as far away as London, shortly before the ground started to vibrate from the backlash which tripped seismic alarms in buildings and cars.

Even within the protection of the _Silencio_ the noise could be heard, thankfully toned down the point of being just a dull roar. At the epicenter of the power wash lay nine bodies, eight females surrounding one male. Fully half of the girls appeared to be eleven, one looked to be about fourteen while the others were clearly adults.

Once again the Hospital Wing was repaired to its previous condition, even though the staff asked for assistance from the parents that could harness magic to help rebuild the rest of the castle. While they were gone, the Grangers were tasked with watching over the young ones after Pomfrey gave them a transfigured stone orb that would sound an alarm throughout the property if shaken five times.

A problem similar to what Potter and the girls were going through was discovered, which was why there were now two extra large beds wide by side filled with bodies.

While the events in the waking world had been happening, inside the mind of Harry the conversation had died off. Deeper introductions had been made, as many questions as possible were answered, a few games –either muggle or magical- were played and a few conversations sprung up then died for lack of interest.

The girls watched as Harry zoned out for a while, focusing on something else to the extent that he didn't hear his name called for a full five minutes. When he rejoined them, he told them what he'd overheard and mentioned that Fawkes was currently resting his head on the scar doing . . . something. Entertaining themselves, with help from Tonks and her Metamoph-magi abilities, they settled in to while away the time not knowing when they were going to return to consciousness.

"That hurt," heralded the arrival of visitors, before they popped into being next to Hermione scaring the daylights out of her.

"Did somebody get the truck of the plate that hit me?" moaned one of the females, wobbling about drunkenly and holding her head and looking decidedly green.

Once the new arrivals got themselves sorted out and introductions took place, the two groups stared at each other wanting to ask questions but afraid of insulting somebody.

"So, what brings you here?" wondered Harry with the tact of Ranma, having grown tired of the silence. He had at least managed to avoid the clichéd _"Well, this is different."_ even if he had sorely wanted to say it.

"Dunno 'bout what brought us here," answered the sole male while playing with his pigtail, "but I do know that we're older than we look. Stupid mushrooms."

That comment resulted in a ten minute lecture on the magic mushrooms and their effects, and how only one person on the face of the Earth could even find them without trying. With a few looks it had been decided to keep certain facts, like the Norns and Hild, away from those that didn't need to know unless it was a dire emergency. From there the conversation traveled into the realm of magic, bringing the newcomers into the know that they were rather far from home.

The two groups quickly became good friends, and time moved on. Hogwarts was fully repaired and ready to receive students in two days, yet none of those in the Hospital Wing had awoken. Dumbledore had the presence of mind to collect the needed supplies for the new term, the only thing he couldn't get were the wands.

"OY!" shouted Ranma, having woken up to find himself buried within a cluster of females. This attracted the attention of Madam Pomfrey, who descended upon those that had been bed-ridden for almost a month. She was pleasantly surprised to see that they were all coming around, to which she made use of the recently rebuilt Floo Network to get in touch with the parents and send an owl to the Grangers.

Within moments the Wing was host to joyous parents, even said Grangers whom had used the portkey that Dumbledore had left them for this event. Just after the parents arrived the Headmaster himself came into the Wing, beard traveling behind him over his right shoulder.

Being brought up to speed on the current date and events, it was left to them to decide on what to do about entering Hogwarts. While Harry and those bound to him moved off to have a conversation, Dumbledore turned towards Ranma.

"What would you say to entering Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" he asked with little preamble, believing that he'd thought ahead with this set of youngsters. Something had sparked this idea, and with the month he'd had to ponder on it he'd realized it was a good one. The youngsters in front of him could be useful in his plans. They simply looked at each other, and as if to answer the question the adults and teenager regressed in age before his eyes to have the same appearance as their friends. He did make note of the tattoos but decided to leave well enough alone.

"Do we even have the power?" wondered Kasumi, looking almost hopeful to have found something to do with her restored youth. She was always up for learning something new, and this presented the perfect opportunity to do so.

"Yes, you all do," answered the Headmaster. "All of your magical cores are on par with young Harry over there, which I must say is stronger than mine was at that age." Sometimes letting little tidbits like that out hurt, and it was only the magic twinkling of his eyes that blocked them from seeing that.

"How do we afford your school?" came from Nabiki, elected financial advisor and quartermaster as she knew the most about money and how to use it to the maximum.

"We have a fund, rarely used as it is, for those that cannot afford the tuition and supplies," he answered, while spotting a protest forming. "It's not a handout, more like a scholarship program. We have no problem financing those that are less fortunate or are shall we say new to the neighborhood."

Again the looks, before as one they turned and nodded their approval to the deal.

If only Dumbledore knew just what he was about to unleash upon the school, he may have never made the offer . . .

TBC

Ah, there we go! As you can see, I spent a lot of time researching for this. It took me stumbling into the rather extensive Potter section to really get interested in adding this component, then waiting for the movies to arrive for me to get a feel for what's there. Yes, I am aware that the movies have plot hole big enough for me to drive my truck into, as the book's cover so much more. I guess they didn't want a Lord of the Rings time-length motif. Bastards.

Now for the rest of the rant: I've been accused of going to slow with this. All I have to answer with is yer not gonna pick up a sci-fi/fantasy that has a two page intro, goes into gratuitous action and possibly sex, have romance, and a decent plot without back-building. That's where I'm going here, canon info should be known but for the sake of the fic I have to back-build relationships so that it flows smoothly. Especially since this is an Alternate Universe piece. As for excessive scene jumping, hopefully this chapter did better in that regard.

Edit: Many probably don't remember the original of this chapter, but I've come to a conclusion about the relationships that JKR attempted to set up. They blew, rather hardcore. She admits it herself that teenage angst is not her forte, and thus the entire reason behind the totally unbelievable pairings in Canon. Why I even tried to stay with that garbage I'll never know.

Ja!

Edited in Faribault, MN


	20. PCPIBLS 8

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

Rant: Some good, some bad responses to the newest element. Fear not, for the plot thins . . . I mean thickens. Whoops. I'm on the fence about "Manipulative!Dumbledore" and am asking my readers opinion on that particular plot bunny –and the other general nonsense that goes with it- before going full bore.

A general warning for Ron fans: in my honest opinion, he's whiney, self-centered, lazy yet has a certain cunning that really shines when he chooses. He's not evil, but he has a cowardice that just screams at me. I don't like him at all, especially since he seems to be rather 'Fair Weather', if you catch my drift.

Sorry for the long delay and even longer rant. My muse took a vacation without me, and real life got in the way while I looked for it. That and real life got in the way again, again, and again.

Phenomenal Cosmic Powers, Itty Bitty Living Space Arc Two Part Two.

By: (Driver) Jim Ohki

_(Primary Reality)_

"Talk to me," demanded Tsunami, having exerted her authority to keep Akane and Ryoga out of the dungeons for this little get together. She was rather irate that her newly reincarnated brother had up and vanished mere moments before the arrival of the Chousin, and was seeking answers.

"Why should we?" retorted Ryoga, his fears and insecurities turning into the more familiar anger. Like Akane, he had issues dealing with his emotions, especially those that made him uncomfortable.

"Because we want to know _exactly_ what you did to him," rumbled Washu, showing her own displeasure. Being the first to arrive she had caught the briefest of glimpses before her reborn brother with those that had literally attached themselves to him had vanished and didn't like the fact that they were all apparently eleven again. She remembered, upon that new look, that the original Chaos had stated rather balefully that he disliked any age under eighteen for being too restrictive.

"That baka is gone, took the last of my family with him, and all you care about is Ranma?" barked Akane, looking neither smug nor angry. Her expression was rather neutral, for once succeeding in guarding her thoughts. She had gone along with the original plan of de-aging said Saotome again for the fact that it would make controlling him easier and had the brainwave to use the 'shrooms on her sisters in an effort to be the one to make the decisions. The Holy War that had erupted around her had scared her, and when her father was taken something deep within her psyche snapped.

The only one that was silent was Tokimi, whom had taken to floating cross-legged in a corner with her eyes closed. She was reaching through the multiverse strings trying to locate their brother, and had some success. She'd narrowed the possible realities down to an even dozen and was in the process of refining her search.

"This is getting us nowhere," drawled Tsunami, giving a half-lidded glare to the couple sitting on the other side of the mahogany conference table that had appeared from nowhere via Washu waving her hand.

"Then we're outta here, we have things to do like getting those . . . _freaks of nature_ out of my house," declared Akane as she rose, believing that as the eldest present Tendo she had authority to do as she pleased. Under normal circumstances this would be true, however current events were far from normal.

"He's finally gone," cheered Ryoga, instantly ignoring the Chousin to do a happy dance and ignoring the fact that he wasn't the reason for the disappearing act. "I finally won, took his happiness right out from under his nose!"

"_SIT DOWN_!" thundered Tokimi, having finished her task. As the notoriously angry Goddess, it was now her turn to interrogate their guests for information. Her methods were far more aggressive that those of her sisters, as the duo that represented the remains of the Nerima Wrecking Crew were about to find out.

_(Potter Universe)_

The Great Hall of Hogwarts resonated with the noise of the second through seventh years awaiting the Sorting Ceremony. The general hubbub was that this was the year the Boy-Who-Lived emerged from wherever he'd been hiding to begin his magical education. Many were commenting that nobody had seen the boy on the Express, and not a few were debating if he was indeed alive after all.

After that fateful Halloween night ten years ago the only thing Dumbledore had said was that young Potter was alive, marked for eternity by his survival of one of the most feared curses of all. The Headmaster refused to elaborate more beyond that, spouting 'reasons of security' and whatnot.

The Sorting would set the record straight for the detractors, which was now underway alphabetically after yet another bizarre song/bout of insanity of the Hat. The usual suspects went to their Houses to loud cheer until when Professor McGonagall got to the P's, the Hall fell silent. The Patil twins were split between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, though the applause was swift before silence descended upon the students again. More than a few sets of eyes tracked up to the Head Table, taking in Dumbledore and his reactions. A few groans were let out for a Sally-Anne Perks, before quiet applause followed her to Hufflepuff.

Surprise rang out when the next name called turned out to be Zacharias Smith. The students were trying to keep it down, but the increased noise of one caused another to follow suit and so on. Nobody failed to notice more than a few smiles along the Slytherin table, which instantly earned the ire of the Gryffindors.

"_SILENCE!_" thundered Dumbledore, a rare frown present on his face. He sat down, refusing to elaborate even with three quarters of the students staring at his person. The Slytherins were looking at Snape, fishing for clues and they saw that he wasn't happy in the least. He was glaring certain death at his golden plate, not wanting –or daring- to look at those under his care.

The interrupted Sorting continued, although not a sound was made as the populace took the Headmaster's demand seriously. The next shock came near the end of the Ceremony.

"Weasley, Ronald."

Ah, here we are. He'd had a compartment on the train all to himself, even with Neville poking his head in looking for his toad. Not having the chance to meet Harry before arriving at Hogwarts had slightly altered his persona in that he'd stewed in his juices about being the last of the brothers and wanting to outshine them. His confidence had yet to take blows from Hermione's critiques, which reinforced his ambitions.

Not a good thing to be thinking of at the Sorting.

'_What's this, another Weasley?'_ came from the Hat, after being placed on his head. Not giving time to answer, it continued, '_Lots of ambition, but not much bravery. Selfishness aplenty, yes . . . what to do with you? A thirst to prove yourself to your brothers, yet no drive to learn. Hmmmmm . . . not much loyalty within you either, only to those that could get you a dose of the spotlight . . . I know what to do with you. There's only one House you belong to, and that's . . .'_

"SLYTHERIN!"

Tumult.

The Weasley brothers Fred and George along with Percy had leapt to their feet to celebrate Ron's inducting into Gryffindor when the word of the Hat sunk in. The twins, having been sitting together, tripped over each other tumbling to the floor in a fit of arms, legs and red hair. Percy scowled deeply for the first time since he was four, which definitely hurt his face before plopping rather heavily onto the bench, nearly dumping his neighbors.

Ron had thrown the Hat off in disgust, tempted to stomp on it a few times before McGonagall managed to shoo him in the direction of the Slytherin table. Ignoring this and where the Hat had put him, he turned and headed for the First Year end of the Gryffindor table to which the Second Years greeted him at wand-point. The sneering jests began, and more than a few of the older students made their way up the table with their wands out to 'escort' the youngest Weasley brother to where he belonged. Leading this charge were the now recovered twins, looks of embarrassment on their faces.

The Slytherins themselves were up in arms, yelling as loud as they could about not having 'blood traitors' in their midst led by the ponce Draco Malfoy. Snape himself looked extremely surprised, an ultra-rare feat in and of itself. Even more surprising was the look on Dumbledore's face, for he looked like he'd eaten a whole lemon rather than one of his famous Lemon Drops.

It took some time for the ruckus to die down, after the twins bodily dumped Ron at the far end of the Slytherin table where he sat all by his lonesome near tears. He was locked in a mental loop about what his parents would think about breaking the many-generations old tradition of Weasley's –and by extension, the Prewitt's- going into Gryffindor. He'd heard it every year since his oldest brother Bill had attended Hogwarts, how the family had always gone the route of Godric even when times were tight. Oh he wasn't looking forward to _that_ conversation, not at all.

The students looked at Dumbledore as soon as Blaise Zabini was sorted into Slytherin, believing that the Ceremony was over. Thus they were in prime position to see McGonagall transfigure the old stool into a bench facing them. Many eyebrows rose at this action before another name was called out.

"Saotome, Ranma."

The upper Years were beginning to wonder if somebody had gotten a massive _Confundus_ charm to work on the staff before the door to the antechamber behind the Head Table opened admitting a boy and eight girls. What the students didn't know was that as the Norns nor Hild had surnames it had been determined to be easier to just call for Ranma.

The group of nine sat on the bench, the lone boy in the middle with four girls to a side when Peeves made an appearance. The water balloons flew before the surprised staff could do anything about them, all turning in mid-air to a single target.

"Why me?" demanded the soaked red-head that hadn't been there two seconds ago. Those in the Hall were stunned, having never seen anything like this before. That was until they felt a wave of . . . something . . . come from the voice-identified girl. She was dry in an instant, without so much as closing her eyes before being doused by a thermos held by one of the brown haired girls. The wave of power again, followed by the raven haired boy standing up.

"Hey Peeves, c'mere," he said in the best innocent tone he could muster. The poltergeist surprised those that had known about him and his ways by doing exactly as he was told, floating within a few feet of the boy. "What have I told you about doing that?"

The students were treated to something new as the practical joker poltergeist shivered in fear but not verbally answering.

"You've had yer last warnin'," he continued, hands cupping by his right side ever so slowly. "I've tried to be patient with you, but that was the last straw."

"No! Not that! PLEASE!" screamed Peeves, frozen in place and obviously wanting to flee but too scared to do so.

"_Moko Takabisha!_"

_KROOM!_

Shouts of fright filled the air as Peeves rocketed towards the closed doors, before impacting them and falling limply to the floor. The other ghosts in attendance were not so shocked by the fact that the poltergeist hadn't sailed through a solid object after having so much life-force interact with his own energies, having seen a situation like this before.

"Please, sit down," directed Professor McGonagall, also having seen this before the last time Peeves had pranked the displaced youth. It had taken some time to understand just why he was more solid than before.

Infusing any type of spirit with life energy made it stronger, and those that were dead came closer to being 'alive' again thus making objects like walls and doors solid to them. The last time this happened Peeves had to take the long way anywhere for a day, as the event had happened on the day of the groups' awakening.

Having reclaimed his seat, the Hat was put on his head and expanded to encompass the girl's heads.

'_Oh, this is different,'_ came the mental voice of the Hat, '_so very different. You young Saotome have been through much, with bravery and confidence leading the way. Not very bright, yes . . . but that's not entirely your fault. A thirst for understanding and knowledge, and you're obsessively loyal to those close to you. Lots of ambition to be the best, although I sense some hesitation in anything that disinterests you.'_

The student body was beginning to fidget, for the Ceremony was taking a lot longer than usual. Small snacks had appeared on the tables to tide them over until the actual Feast began, to which they were grateful.

It took almost five minutes for the Hat to sort through the nine minds, before proclaiming loudly that they were to be in Gryffindor. Again the students believed the Sorting was over when they got the shock of their lives.

"Abbot, Hannah; Bones, Susan; Granger, Hermione; Lovegood, Luna; Potter, Harry; Tonks, Nymphadora."

Silence.

The door to the antechamber opened again, and the group trooped their way to the bench. Upon seeing Harry, whispers broke out and more than one excited "It's _him!_" drifted to their ears which they deftly ignored. The Hufflepuffs were grumbling about Tonks getting resorted, even though she had made heavy use of her metamorph-magi abilities to look eleven again.

'_Quickly now, the others would like to eat,'_ said the Hat, picking up hints at Gryffindor being the dominate trait within the boy. The decision was made swiftly, without much fanfare or –pardon the pun- badgering to avoid a certain blonde.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Thanks Phil," came from Harry, although where the name came from he had no idea.

"The Hat has a name?" wondered Tonks, having dealt with it before and never hearing of this.

The silence of the student body ended suddenly, roars of approval coming from just about everywhere but none louder than the House of Godric.

Before Harry could get up from the bench, the youngest Weasley boy had come around to current events only to find the very person he wanted to ride the coattails . . . befriend already surrounded by a crowd and this angered him. Before he realized exactly what he was doing, he was charging across the Great Hall to remove them and claim his spot.

"Get away from him!" he bellowed, just as he reached the elevated platform. Unfortunately for him, there was a missed puddle of water on the polished oak flooring, to which he promptly lost his footing. His right foot, having been trailing slightly behind him caught the lip of the platform, sending him flying forehead first into Harry.

Over five hundred males, students and Professors alike -including Snape- collectively placed hands in a strategic place wincing in sympathy while the boy in question slowly turned blue from the pain emanating from down below; mouth open in a silent scream of agony. The five girls, two on either side and one behind, heard his mental screaming and swearing though. It was hard for them to tell if it was phantom sympathy pain or the as yet unexplored link, but they partially _felt_ it too.

Ron, having gotten back to his feet and seeing that they were distracted, slung Harry over his shoulder and made for the Entrance Hall doors, ignoring the fact that after five steps he had gone completely limp. He was a man-child on a mission, thus enabling him to ignore the sudden shouting of the students and Professors that he return him to the transfigured bench. He was almost to the doors when his 'best friend' floated out of his arms and returned to the bench, where the others that had just been sorted were unconscious.

"What are you doing?!" he shouted, seeing the wand of Dumbledore being the one responsible for putting his meal tick . . . best mate in the spot that rightfully belonged to _him_. "That's my best mate you're messing with!"

"Mister Weasley," came the silky drawl of his new Head of House, "no doubt you fail to see the significance of the situation. Sit down and be silent."

"Who're you to order me around?!" was the retort, raising the eyebrows of those that were paying attention to the developing argument. "I should be in Gryffindor, not slimy Slytherin! Every wizard worth their magic knows that House breeds Dark wizards, and I am _no Dark Wizard!_"

Having resituated Harry within his bond-mates, Dumbledore had turned his attentions to the argument between student and Professor. The twinkle in his eyes was gone, and a perpetual frown marred his face listening to young Ronald spouting off at the mouth. This day was not going by design in the least.

"Who am I?" was the response from Snape, glare in place and voice hard as ice. "I am your Head of House you blistering blathering bumbling baboon, and you will show me respect. As for which House you belong in the Hat has spoken, you are a Slytherin. Now I say again, _sit down and be silent!_"

"Sod off you overgrown bat!" he retorted in a full Weasley, or perhaps a Prewitt, temper-tantrum. "Harry is supposed to be _my_ tick . . . friend, and it's family tradition to be in Gryffindor!"

"That's quite enough," barked Dumbledore, having heard all he wanted to and then some. "Mister Weasley, you will show respect to _every_ member of the staff or you be gone from this school, do I make myself clear?"

"You're barmy!" he roared, his anger getting away from him. "The lot of you have gone mad!" Having enough of the argument, Ron charged the stage again, again targeting the still unconscious Harry. The one thing he didn't count on was another first year standing up and getting in the way.

"Here's where I draw the line," drawled a bored Ranma, having taking a liking to Harry and his friends. "If he was aware of your attack, I wouldn't even intervene but as you can see he's not. I don't care what your beef with the world is but you'll not take it out on _my_ friend."

"Outta my way, Fem-boy," growled Ron, not noticing that the Great Hall was completely silent again and could hear every word. "Yer no _friend_ of Potter, you don't even know him! Why don't you go back to your little whores, filthy mud-blood!"

There are certain things that are just not done. One of them is calling the company Ranma keeps 'whores', considering just whom they were. Another is insulting his manhood, using the exact taunt a certain individual named by Happosai would. The last being picking a fight with them, the reason being that most of the group was rather heavily armed.

Every eye fell upon those that had been sorted with the foreigner, and many had come to that very conclusion after taking in their facial expressions. Just seeing the two excessively pretty brown haired girls frown sent shivers down many spines. Noticing the power rolling off of the pair of platinum blondes had many converting their faith on the spot. Seeing the brunettes utilize the Ikari Death Glare, Seated Variation gave the muggle-born's feelings of impending doom.

Noticing the weapons now in the hands of the blue-haired and the almost-black-haired girls gave them a great idea of what would happen if they tried this tactic again.

Staring down the blade of a six foot long katana, such as Ron now found himself doing, reinforced those notions.

"I think not, pretty-boy," ground out Ranma, trying to reign his temper in. "Unless yer challengin' me, that is?"

"Mister Saotome, please," came the voice of Dumbledore from behind him, much closer than the Head Table. Giving a slight nod without taking his eyes off of the pompous arse in front of him who _dared_ to utter those words, he made the katana disappear before putting a restraining hand on Shampoo's left shoulder. Upon seeing that that situation was under control, the Headmaster turned to the statue-esqe Weasley.

"Mister Weasley, I warned you," he monotoned, wishing to not have to do this here but not having much choice as he was certain another explosion was eminent. "Fifty points from Slytherin for not controlling one of their own and excessive verbal abuses, especially at the Welcoming Feast. I may tolerate some of their shenanigans later in the year, but not now. You will serve detention every night for the entire year with Mister Filch. You are also banned from any and all extracurricular activities for your entire tenure at Hogwarts, including Quidditch, Hogsmeade and any other event that may come up. If there is another incident such as this you _will_ be expelled immediately. Do you understand?"

All that Ron could do was nod, his eyes not leaving the now seated Saotome. Then the words of the Headmaster filtered in, to which he narrowed his eyes in anger but somehow held it in.

"Professor Snape will escort you to your dorm, where you will remain until morning," concluded Dumbledore, the aforementioned Snape having been hovering in the background. His quietly added just for his Potions Master, "Make certain the other Slytherins don't get carried away with their . . . behavior corrections. I'll speak to you after the long-delayed Feast."

Snape narrowed his eyes, before grabbing the collar of Ron and 'escorting' him out of the Hall.

While that was happening, conversation broke out across the Hall. In the standard that was Hogwarts, once the entertainment value was lost the students ignored the clean up efforts to jibber-jabber about something else.

"Brilliant!" barked the Irish brogue of Seamus Finnegan, while somehow restraining himself from delivering a solid slap on the back of Ranma.

"Wha?" was the eloquent response from said youth, looking lost and confused. He had taken notice that the entourage of Harry was up and about again, making their way to where he was seated.

The students, professors and ghosts thought they'd seen it all. Thus they were woefully unprepared for the Saotome Eating Machine to fire up once the main Feast began. There had only been a slight pause, followed by a choked cheer complete with sparkles and doe eyes then the arms started blurring. The food was disappearing at a rapid pace, and not just from the serving platters. Those that surrounded him had to defend their positions lest their own dinner came under attack.

"Hey!" scowled Nabiki as Ranma pilfered his fifth chicken leg from her plate in a row. "There's plenty still on the platters, stop stealing my food!"

The response was unintelligible as he tried to talk around the mouthful of food while attempting to look innocent. This didn't set well nor earn him any brownie points with his friends or the other Gryffindors.

Twenty minutes later, he was still going strong even though the rest of the population was wanting dessert. It took a combined effort by the girls to get him to stop long enough for the dessert trays to appear. He whimpered at the loss of such good food, and could only stare at the available treats as the teaching of his father roared in his mind about such frivolity.

'_Bah! Panda-Man isn't here!_'

The dessert trays suffered the same treatment . . . eh, fate as the main course. Dumbledore completely forgot his after-supper speech after the rather grotesque eating display, instead shooing the students out of the Great Hall and off to bed.

The next day started as the previous night had ended, with Ranma stuffing as much food as possible down his throat. Even though the female populace was rather grossed out by his eating habits, they were also envious since he apparently gained no weight. The disturbance was great enough to befuddle the Professors to the point that the Heads of House had to scramble to get the schedules to the students before ejecting them from the Hall.

"Why are bothering with this?" demanded Urd again. Nabiki had tried to count the number of times the same question was asked but lost count somewhere in the ten millions.

"Think about it," answered Hild yet again, making the group pause en route to Transfiguration. She shifted her weight to her right leg, resulting in her right hip cocking out to which she rested her right hand and checking to insure they were alone in the corridor. "We _intentionally_ removed our limiters. With the Almighty having triggered Ragnarok, we can't get them reinstalled. So instead we shall take this opportunity to learn control without them, and just maybe we can pass the knowledge along when we get home."

"Yeah, about that," chimed in Nabiki, using a convenient corner as a back scratcher, "we agreed to keep our extra friends a secret as long as possible. Just how are we supposed to get them extra training if we don't let them out?"

"She wants out that bad?" came the concerned voice of Belldandy as she took over the back scratching.

"Yeah. She's the one causing this blasted itch, doing it on purpose to get me to release her," was the answer, half moaned in the bliss that getting that damnable itch in the hard to reach spot brings.

"What are you talking about?" came the voice of Harry as he and his entourage appeared from behind a tapestry. Having one of his group going through the Hogwarts experience again had its advantages, such as knowing some of the secret passages to get around in a quick order. Although he did a double take when Tonks grumbled about the moving staircases behaving themselves for the first time.

"Oh, nothing," replied Ranma as he swung by on the beams in the ceiling. Since everything but Herbology and Flying were indoors he had come up with a new expressway for himself. The odd scene he created he ignored as the other students in the packed hall ducked for cover thinking that he'd lose his grip and fall.

"Would you get down?" demanded Skuld, her face turning red from a combination of embarrassment and anger. She had yet to have the full Ranma experience and was trying to instill a sense of normalcy into the boy.

"Y'know, if it weren't for these robes I'd be beam-walking," was his almost wistful response. He been busy the night before, modifying the school robes into something more akin to battle robes. From his hips down now sported slits on either side for mobility with stitched in pants for prosperity's sake. "And while I'm at it, thanks for waking me this morning Kasumi."

The former eldest Tendo daughter blushed prettily, her right foot lifting slightly to scoff the floor with her toes providing the perfect "Weren't nothing" pose.

"We'd better get a move on," chimed in Tonks, having drilled the usage of her family name into everybody's head. "McGonagall may be fair, but she's also strict and a stickler for the rules." Not knowing of Ranma and bad reactions to cats she left out the information that a tabby was awaiting them, as a test to see whom would be on time and whom needed a map and watch as her favorite threat went.

The fairly large group made for the Transfiguration Year One classroom on the fourth floor, Harry and Ranma in the midst of a gaggle of girls much to the humor, disgust, and jealousy of their fellow schoolmates, depending on the individual point of view.

There is the saying that the first impression is the most important. This, being Transfiguration which the Animagus fell under, was why for the entire time she'd had the post Minerva McGonagall made a powerful impression on the first years by showing the children her Tabby form. Some were quick on the uptake, seeing how the ability to go from human to animal while retaining their own thought processes was a Very Good Thing.

Never, in her life, had McGonagall heard of let alone encountered an Ailurophobe. Just knowing Ranma for the past few days had introduced the ultra-rare Aquaphobe, a meaning she had to hand write into the dictionary.

So it came as a great surprise as when the gaggle of girls in front of said youth moved enough for him to be able to see the massive oak desk at the front of the room Ranma froze, paled, screamed with a rather high pitch, then leapt for the ceiling.

Those that were linked to his mind finally understood his conditioning and absolute fear of cats. The dimensional travel had, in a fit of Chaos, made certain that even the beings of Higher Power heard his mind go into fight or flight mode.

'_DANGER-DANGER-DANGER-CAT-CAT-CAT-RUN-FLEE-PAIN-FEA R-ATTACK-MOVE-MOVE-MOVE-RUN-RUN-RUN-CAT-CAT-CAT-ES CAPE-ESCAPE-ESCAPE-TERROR-MONSTER-EVIL-CLAWS-PAIN- SUFFER-DANGER-DANGER-DANGER'_ repeated in his mind like a mantra, progressively getting weaker on each repetition.

"What is the meaning of this?" came the panicked voice of their Professor, having returned to being human while the rest of the class was looking at the cowering form that had wrapped his arms and legs around a beam in the ceiling, some dozen meters above the floor.

One of the Ravenclaws thought the scene was the funniest thing he'd ever seen until he caught sight of two of the brown haired girls frowning. Those two were the embodiment of peace and tranquility, and to see the pair frowning approaching scowling scared him and those that wondered what had cut the laughter off so abruptly.

There was no answer forthcoming to the panicked demand of McGonagall as those that were linked to Ranma 'saw' in their minds the memories of The Pit. While he'd explained the training before, he'd obviously left out some parts such as Genma's 'punishments' for failure. Or calling for his mother. Or complaining about the pain and injuries. Or attempting escape after freeing himself of the sausage-ties. The girls, even those that had been young and older women, were not able to experience outside stimuli as their minds were bombarded by one of the past horrors that he'd suffered through.

Shampoo was hit the hardest, as he'd been too nice to explain this depth of his fear to her Cat Curse. In her home village the actions of Genma would have guaranteed the oaf a most painful death for the treatment, let alone endangerment, of his only son. There was a reason why even the feared Amazons did not teach the Neko-ken.

Ranma came back to himself, shuddering in reflex to his panic attack. Looking about the room revealed that the feline was gone, although he was weary that it might return. He shifted his weight before dropping off of the beam, which earned more than a few sharp inhales as he had been a dozen meters up. Landing light as a feather, he continued his survey to insure the beast was indeed gone while ignoring the odd looks send his way.

"Sorry 'bout that," he mumbled while using his right hand to play with his pigtail. "Training mishap when I was six, left a deep fear of c-c-c-felines. If I'm exposed too long . . ." a full body shudder worked its way up and down, " . . . it's not a pretty sight."

Deciding to put the whole incident on the back-burner, McGonagall got them seated and the lesson started. By lunch, the school was abuzz with the news that the foreigner had a problem with cats, to which certain party's made a note of for future use if need be.

_(Potter Universe Heaven)_

"You three do realize what it is you've done, do you not?" came the guttural-yet-extremely-angry voice of the Almighty. This aspect was surprisingly neutral in the goings on across the rest of the multiverse, instead having to counter open rebellion by not just those under His command but also the Spirits.

The native Urd, Belldandy and Skuld stood at attention, what would be shoulder to shoulder if their heights had matched with contrite expressions on their faces. Skuld was the worst, having had _some_ compassion for their target.

Well, she called it compassion. The Almighty called it a weakness, an attempt to break the Infinite Circle –'What Has Come Before Will Come Again'- and outright mutiny. Getting her sisters onboard had taken persuasion above and beyond the extreme, with a hefty sprinkling of threats and trademark explosives.

"They are stagnate," she deflected His righteous anger without so much as a flinch. "Those that we gifted millennia ago are too locked in their ways; too resistant to change to see that the rest of the world is growing without them."

"The traditionalists are a dying breed," Belldandy took over, her face expressionless. "Soon, they will be no more. Especially with that madman Riddle at the helm of their 'cause', and everything will be destroyed."

"So you took it upon yourselves to interfere," was His response, before being cut off.

"You were too busy to listen to us," came from Urd, her rage barely restrained. "We've tried for the past four _centuries_ to get you to look at this matter, but you never did. You put us in charge of the Circle, delegated _your_ responsibility to us so that you could pursue other interests. _We_ are trying to fix what your inattention has brought forth. By their history, Dark Lord's surface ever other century or so like clockwork. Now, there have been two in fifty of their years. The Circle was broken by the Mortals and we are struggling to hold it together."

"So you interfered by allowing Chaos energy into this plane," He continued, glaring at Urd for her interruption. "Now the reborn Chaos himself is here, drawn in by the boy that _would have_, on his own, repaired the Circle to what it was."

"That Circle is invalid," Belldandy stuck to logic in her argument, "as Urd has pointed out, the Mortals broke it on their own. We are trying to establish _a_ Circle, period. It was either this or watch the entire System fail."

"No matter," He brushed the three off, having had enough of their treasonous behavior. "The Circle is beyond us to control now; the Others are wanting to send in an attack force before Chaos can learn to harness his powers more efficiently. Everything we have ever worked for here is lost . . .," here He paused, leaning back in His chair before making a steeple out of His fingers. "And so are you. You three are henceforth terminated, sentenced to your counterparts on the surface. We, the Council, aren't going to execute you because We believe that those on Midgard won't see the Summer Solstice."

Using His terminal interface, He erased the trio from the Yggdrasil Mainframe before converting their bodies to energy and funneling it into the Duplicates on Earth.

"Hopefully, the information you have will tip the scales of the coming battle. I'm sorry, my daughters . . ."

TBC

Aight, that seems like a good enough place to stop for now. It's been an insane year since I last updated. A change in employers, a friend's heartbreak, watching children over a span of two solid months . . . that, and my muse coming and going in fits. I've recently stumbled across another fic that has a great idea imbedded in it in regards to something similar here, one that's making me think.

Also, for the foreseeable future, there will _not_ be any new elements brought into this story. The Dramatis Personae is uber-long as it is, even with the characters that just float around in the background.

Finished in Louisville, Kentucky


	21. TGD 1

Disclaimer: Same as I always put in my fics, don't own anything other than the PS2, games, PC and the DVD's.

Note: Near standard crossover from me, may or may not have lemon/lime elements. If I butchered something, I apologize as I barely have time to WRITE fics, let alone watch the DVD's. Also, this is heavy AU, OOC, and generally bizarre. If it looks like I left a plot hole, don't jump the gun . . . it could be for suspense. And for you Ranma otaku out there, I don't have the manga, just the anime. Thus, Akane is VIOLENT! Ooh, aah. And if certain evil people suddenly become nice, there'll be an explanation SOMEWHERE in the fic.

The Goddess Dilemma

By: Jim Ohki

"Damn it, not again," said Ranma Saotome as he met the Almighty Mallet. The day had gone well, up until this event. Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi were being . . . normal. Not normal in the Nerima way, but normal in the rest of the world way. They had actually talked during lunch, sharing the bountiful food brought by both Shampoo and Ukyo. When Kodachi had dropped by, she talked in normal tones and didn't break out the ribbon or the roses. But, it was to be short lived when the walking symbol of what needing anger management looked like appeared.

After the usual spiel of "YOU PERVERT!" for receiving a couple of hugs for being sociable, to which he returned as a good friend would do, his face had a meeting with the dirt.

"Why me, God?" deadpanned Ranma into the ground. "I just want one chance at a normal life."

Ah, the joys of being heard.

***I-_(Heaven, Yggdrasil Building)-_***

Kami-sama sat at his desk, reading the life file of Ranma Saotome. How in the world this young man had survived, let alone stayed sane, was a mystery. Rivals and enemies crawling out of the wood work, right next to the numerous fiancées. Add to that the Neko-Ken, Kashu Tenshin Amageriken, and the Hiryu Shoten Ha and Ranma was a walking meltdown just waiting to happen.

Yet, he always did what was right. He couldn't knowingly tell a lie, just saying what he perceived as the truth. He almost never raised a fist in anger at a woman . . . well, nobody's perfect. But still he would press on, hoping against hope that things would work out, never losing faith.

But apparently that faith was starting to waiver. Not a good thing when the person in question could level the Tokyo Metroplex without trying.

Tapping the intercom switch, Kami-sama spoke, "Rind, I have a special assignment for Peorth. Please have her come to my office."

The response was an immediate, "Yes sir."

Since that task was done, Kami-Sama picked up the handset and dialed the familiar phone number. He didn't have to wait long as the one he wanted to talk to answered the phone.

"Hello?" inquired Urd, wondering who would interrupt her soaps.

"Urd, I have a special assignment for you. Be in my office in ten minutes."

*_click_*

Urd stared at the phone, wondering just what the assignment could be. Shrugging it off as she'd find out later, she walked over to the television and vanished into it.

***_-(Tendo residence, one week later)-_***

Ranma was getting really fed up with being nice. At least trying to be nice to a certain individual. While the other 'fiancées' had been behaving themselves for the past week, things had gotten worse between himself and Akane. She would snap at him on the smallest of things, like the time he looked at her crossed eyed after eating her cooking. The Saotome foot in mouth disease was absent, as Ranma had started choking on the substance that was once food. Akane had instantly smashed the table over his head, then punted him into the Koi pond.

Foregoing the usual bath that followed such an event, Ranma changed into a spare set that she kept on the first floor for moods like this. After glaring at Akane, yet staying quiet, Ranma decided to do something that she normally wouldn't do. Making certain that Akane was not going to be bothering her for a while, mostly by grabbing hold of her own breast and mumbling something about private time, Ranma plopped down in front of the television.

Nabiki, who would normally watch the radiation box at this time, raised a surprised eyebrow at the actions of her supposed brother/sister-in-law. This was something new to file away for future money-making opportunities. That was what Nabiki thought until she caught the pain hiding in those eyes of Ranma. Barely hidden pain. Her heart started a long overdue process at that point. The ice, that made the Ice Queen what she was, cracked ever so slightly.

"Hey Ranma," she started, her voice low to avoid detection by her sister, "you okay?"

"Just freaking peachy, Nabiki," replied the redhead, her tone indicating the obvious. Ranma dared to take her eyes off the television to look Nabiki in the eyes.

"Ranma," said Nabiki while looking her in the eyes, "if you ever need anybody to talk to, just come to me. I have watched as you tried so hard to be nicer to everybody, but got a bad reaction from my sister. I applaud you for trying, but even you shouldn't have to put up with that type of crap."

Neither noticed that the program on the television changed to something that makes men happy. Well, most men who can appreciate the set of tanned legs that disappeared into a red miniskirt. The female noticed that her supposed audience wasn't paying any attention, and decided to drop the dramatics. Sliding out of the television, she caught what was said next by Ranma.

"That type of crap, Nabiki?" deadpanned the redhead, "I haven't had a normal day in my life since I was BORN. While I would wish for a normal life, I know it isn't going to happen. The old fart has gotten me into more messes than I could shake a power pole at, gotten me engaged to LORD knows how many girls, gotten me cursed . . . to both this body and to your sister."

Thinking the conversation over as Nabiki's eyes flashed, indicating danger, Ranma started to turn around. Only to be stopped by her verbal sparring partner.

"Is it really that bad, Ranma?" inquired Nabiki. That question widened the crack in the ice into a gap, and the warmth got inside for the first time in nearly ten years. Not waiting for an answer, Nabiki scooped Ranma into a hug that surprised both of them and their as yet unseen audience. "I'm so sorry, Ranma. If I had only known how much it would hurt you to have to put up with Akane, I would have never . . ."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Nabiki. This is something I have wanted to know since I got here. Why did you and Kasumi pawn me off on Akane?"

"Kasumi I can't truly answer for," replied Nabiki, "But as for me . . . the curse spooked me at first. If I had gotten to know you instead of just hiding behind my younger sister," here she paused to chuckle at how stupid that sounded, "then I wouldn't have minded being your fiancée."

Ranma, who hadn't noticed that he was still in the arms of Nabiki, was touched by what Nabiki had said. 'Finally, somebody that WANTS me to stick around!' she thought, then hugged Nabiki even tighter. Not quite a bear hug, but awfully close to it.

Their audience, which had grown by two while the conversation was taking place, had varying reactions to the emotions being passed in front of them. Two of the three watching felt that the twin souls combined in one body deserved what was about to be presented to them. The third, well take a WILD guess . . .

"RANMA YOU PERVERT! GET OFF OF MY SISTER!" screamed Akane, while acquiring her chi-mallet. Something new happened however when Nabiki shifted her position ever so slightly, thus moving Ranma out of harm's way. She took the full uppercut swing, crashed into the ceiling and crumpled to the floor.

"THAT'S IT!" roared Ranma, battle aura flaring into life. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT, MS. TENDO! YOU WANNA FIGHT, LET'S FIGHT!" With that said, Ranma launched a roundhouse kick at Akane's head, and connected. Akane flew out the back door into the Koi pond, Ranma not far behind. The two who had yet to be noticed checked on Nabiki, and verified that she was just unconscious. After a quick healing program, just enough to prevent one hell of a headache, they ran outside to witness the battle.

Akane didn't know what to do now. Ranma actually attacked her, just the way she had always wanted in the sparring sessions, and she was WAY too slow to dampen the blow. She blanched when Ranma fired up a true and tested technique.

"KASHU TESHIN AMAGURIKEN!"

Akane felt over a hundred blows land before they stopped, and she barely had time to see two strangers restraining Ranma from finishing her off. Then the world went dark . . .

Soun Tendo tried to deploy his demon head at Ranma, but that was instantly deflated by the three guests in the house. More to the point, it was deflated by a katana, held by one of the guests. Akane was in her room, still out from the brawl with Ranma. Everybody knew that when she awoke, she would refuse to come out. Ranma himself, once returned to being male, found the table very interesting. He wouldn't, or couldn't, look at ANYBODY since he had blown his top like that. Nabiki, who was sporting one hell of a bruise and a mild headache, tried to console the boy. She refused to give up on trying to be a better friend to Ranma, and had settled for holding onto his right hand. Kasumi, who had witnessed the event from the point that the mallet appeared, was holding onto his left hand, effectively restraining him from moving. She had seen the way Ranma's eyes had flashed when somebody he cared for got hurt, and somehow knew that this debacle was not on his agenda for today.

Nodoka had appeared on a random chance to find her son and husband, and had also witnessed the event. While she was curious about the other two women in the house, she decided that waiting for the whole story of just what kind of torture that Ranma had to put up with had precedence. Genma being himself was hiding in the nearest dark corner, eyeballing the katana and the wielder of the weapon.

After five minutes of silence, Ranma dared to speak.

"So much for my life," he said into the table, barely heard by the others, "I guess it's time that I left and became a ronin. Although death does sound good . . ." He trailed off at the end, mostly due to the gasps from around the table and the simultaneous squeezes on his hands.

"No, Ranma," said Nabiki, drawing the depressed boy's attention, "You just reacted to what Akane has been doing to you ever since you got here. I know I haven't been the best person in the world, but even I never did anything like that to you."

"Ranma, please don't leave," whispered Kasumi, "You've made my life INTERESTING. Before it was just so bland, and to even think of going back to that makes ME want to give up on life."

Now that got a reaction out of Ranma. Instead of just looking partially in her direction like he had done to Nabiki, his head snapped up to stare her in the eyes when she had finished that declaration.

"We might be able to help you, Ranma," spoke the brunette that sat across from him for the first time. Ranma looked at her like she was crazy, while the others had very skeptical looks on their faces. This was literally one hell of a mess, just how could these two women with about the most bizarre taste in tattoos fix it was beyond them.

"Ranma," spoke the platinum haired woman, "My name is Urd, Goddess Type Two, Class One Limited. I have been authorized by Kami-sama himself to grant you a wish. Before you open your mouth and insert your foot, there are a few limitations that you should be aware of. Number one, I cannot remove your curse or the curses of your . . . acquaintances. Number two, I cannot grant death to you. Both of these restrictions come from on high, so there's obviously some hidden meaning as to why your life is the way it is. Number three, and this is the MOST bizarre thing I have ever heard of, your fiancée mess is not fixable by divine intervention. You must solve that on your own."

"My name is Peorth," spoke the brunette again, drawing all eyes onto herself, "Goddess Type One, Class Two Unlimited. I am here for the same reason, Ranma. I have been authorized to grant your female half a wish, with the same restrictions. But your male half must make a wish first, and that wish could affect the wish made by your female half. Also, the spirit of the girl who drowned in that pool will surface for this wish, as you have dominate control of both bodies. Please, take her advice no matter how bizarre to heart."

"So I could just make this whole mess go away, just like that?" inquired Ranma, life beginning to return to his eyes for the first time in twenty minutes.

"If it's within the bounds of the restrictions, then yes, 'this mess' would go away," replied Urd, leaning onto her elbows so that her charms were displayed a little better. Ranma's eyes dipped down once, twice, then settled back on her eyes. 'So the dormant spirit is already giving him advice . . . or is it that he is just being nice? Too hard to tell' she thought as she gazed into Ranma's eyes, watching the gears (complete with FRESH lubricant) turn over the prospects and ideas of what was just presented to him.

"Money?" asked Ranma, deciding that the best way to figure out what he could and couldn't do was to just verbally throw out ideas. Of course the mentioning of money peaked Nabiki's interest in the whole deal. If she had known then what she knew now, then being engaged to Ranma wouldn't have been too much of a problem. After all, she could easily deal with the other fiancées, just not in the physical way.

"How does the matching value of the worlds money sound to you?" retorted Peorth, drawing Nabiki into a daydream of Ranma and literally swimming in cash.

"Power?" countered Ranma, noticing that Nabiki was beginning to drool.

"Bill Gates style of power," replied Urd. Ranma looked lost at that.

"No, I meant power, as in master of all martial arts type of power," said Ranma.

"If that is what you wish, then yes," responded Peorth. For the briefest of moments, she saw Ranma's eyes flash in that way that screamed that the next words out of his mouth was NOT going to be a good thing. Deciding that one debacle a month was good enough, she raised her hand to forestall the coming question. "Yes, you could have that too. Don't know HOW you'd do it without people knowing, but it is doable."

"Then I know what to wish for," declared Ranma, drawing all eyes onto himself. Everything that produced sound stopped, including breathing. Not one to beat around the bush, especially when his mind was made up, he continued, "I wish that I could be a master of all martial arts, with the matching value of the worlds money at my disposal, so that I may take care of those women that TRULY love me for the rest of our lives."

Eyebrows went up everywhere, did Ranma just find a loophole in the wish restriction? He had made just one wish, with subparts that made it whole. So it would either be all or nothing here, as the pyrotechnic show that was Urd sent the wish to Yggdrasil for processing. Once the show was over, not once disturbing a single item in the living room, Urd's eye's got as big as saucers.

"Wish granted," she said, to the amazement of those present. Breathing resumed, and a few cheers went up. Nodoka was on her knees in a flash, presenting the Saotome honor blade to her son, much to his bewilderment. She made a mental note to look in on the bank accounts and trust funds that she had set up for Ranma all those years ago.

Nabiki simply fainted, right next to Kasumi. Those two would be out for a little bit, and missed what happened next.

A bright light came in from the ceiling, surrounding Ranma. In less than a minute, Ranma had every martial arts style ever thought of, ever dreamed of, in his mind. Once the knowledge was assimilated, Ranma knew it would take a while to practice them all. After all, what good is knowledge of the act without the knowledge of application? Besides, many of the new arts to him felt entirely confusing, since these were the arts of weapons that he had ignored due to his father's . . . teaching method.

Once Nabiki and Kasumi were awoken, from gentle shakes by Ranma, Peorth poured her glass of water on the boy, producing the girl and the other (better?) half of Ranma. Everybody present, minus the catatonic Idiotic Duo (take a WILD guess) could see the difference when the other spirit was in play. She actually held herself like a woman, one that desperately needed a bra at least.

"So, what is it that you wish for?" asked Peorth, who couldn't see the internal debate going on in the mindscape of the shared body. Once the debate was clearly over, the woman side of Ranma opened her mouth, only to close it again. There was a look of concentration on her face, and then something new happened. Ranma returned to being male without any hot water. He too went to open his mouth, only to find out what the problem was before he could say anything.

"POP!" roared Ranma, bounding up from the table in the blink of an eye. "YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"

"What now, boy?" demanded Genma, nervous that something else in his life was about to go horribly wrong.

"When you dug that forsaken pit, did you FIND anything near the bottom?" growled Ranma, eyes flashing a dangerous shade of blue. The Soul of Ice was in play, and on full display.

"Just some metal fragments," replied Genma, now totally lost, "I thought they were junk, so I left them down there as a way to toughen you up some more."

"TOUGHEN ME UP?!" raged Ranma, "YOU IDIOT! It's because of those shards that my life has been so chaotic!"

Urd and Peorth were upon the boy in a flash, running a detection program on the youth. Once the program was complete, they locked eyes with each other and said something very un-Goddess like.

"Ah shit."

On the far side of the globe, two ancient weapons awoke from their slumber. One was manmade, the other a gift from the Kami in response to the evil in the first weapon. Both dug themselves out of six hundred plus years of dirt, and took off toward Japan.

An ancient monster awoke shortly after the weapon he had sworn to protect took off from the bottomless chasm. What was once a human male could sense what had awoken that weapon, and started it's trek to the weapons destination after donning a half-set of azure armor.

Ranma sat down, and let control return to the other spirit in their body. He was too mad to deal with anything effectively, and the Goddesses where not saying what the problem could be. Only he and they knew at the moment, which might work out better for everybody.

"What is it you wish for?" asked Peorth to the female Ranma after a splash of water. She decided to embrace the chaos, if even a little. Now knowing that subpart wishes were valid, she opened her mouth and spoke before what she knew was coming could arrive.

"I wish for Ranma to have a full sex life, with those women he loves, plus love him, so that all teachings of Genma would be driven out of his head."

Now that was bizarre. There was not an eyebrow in the room that was not raised, and everybody could swear that they could see an image of Ranma with his brows raised as well.

"What brought that on?" wondered Nodoka, as she was the first to find her voice after such a weird wish.

"The only way that Ranma will learn to appreciate women, to know that they are not weak, is to have . . . relations . . . with them," replied the female soul, as she turned to glare at Genma. "Because of that old buffoon, Ranma is terrified of becoming close to any woman. Genma drilled it into Ranma's mind so much that women are weak, only good pregnant and barefoot, that he is afraid that if he did become involved with any of his fiancées, with his code of honor, that this supposed 'weakness' would rub off on him. Ranma has almost always felt that women would cramp his free life style, and the cause is that retarded father of his."

Peorth sent the wish to Yggdrasil in a flash, sans the pyrotechnic show. She got the answer just as instantly, turned to Ranma, and spoke two words. "Wish granted."

No sooner had the words left her mouth that two new skylights were installed on the house. All eyes turned towards what had made the sound, only to see two swords floating three feet away from Ranma. Then what looked like a human eye opened, one on each sword. The elegant sword, which looked closer to two halves of one with the center missing, took the left eye of Ranma. The grotesque sword, which looked like half sword/half flesh that had a lot of dried blood on it, took Ranma's right eye.

"Soul Edge and Soul Calibur," breathed Urd, since the legendary swords were in her domain of the past. She turned to look at Ranma, and could see that she was frozen in place. The swords gaze was directly into her eyes, and there was what looked like a telepathic conversation going on.

Akane, forgetting why she was in her room for a minute, came flying downstairs at the sound of commotion. Just as she landed on the first floor after bypassing the stairs, she froze. Ranma looked different, and there were two swords locked in a staring contest with him . . .

"I accept," came from Ranma's mouth, startling everybody. If the swords had mouths, they would have smiled at her before they came within a millimeter of each other, waiting for their chosen to complete the process. After all, the one they talked to had an extra abundance of souls.

It would be enough to do the job without having to go on a spree of massacre proportions.

Ranma changed back to being male, again without hot water, and started to grasp at the hilt of the half and half, Soul Edge. Urd, not wanting a repeat of history spoke up.

"Ranma, you know what that sword is?" she inquired, which had the desired effect of stopping his hand an inch from the hilt.

"Yes I do, Urd," he replied, never looking away from his goal, "Both swords have agreed to let me wield them, as the chaos in Soul Edge and the order in Soul Calibur would balance me. Those metal shards in that pit were pieces of the first Soul Edge. That's why my life attracts the maniacs. But no more once these two swords balance my Yin and Yang."

Everybody's eyes flashed, and heads turned to glare at Genma once again. It was at that moment that all the hopes and dreams he had for an early retirement, to freeload as much as he pleased, had just flown out the window. Ranma, who was ignoring the whole thing, reached for Soul Edge and Soul Calibur at the same time. Once he grasped both hilts, Edge in his right hand with Calibur in his left, everything went dark for the boy.

To those watching, they could see Ranma get enveloped in a ball of light. The ball swirled with two colors: blood red and halo yellow. The colors looked to be in harmony with each other and the person inside. Once the light show was over, they could see what appeared to be an unchanged Ranma, and only one sword laying next to him.

"Isn't that . . .?" started Nabiki, only to see that name of the sword etched into the hilt.

"Kami-Sama," breathed Urd, "It can't be!"

Kasumi leaned over, and examined the now complete sword. She had quickly put two and two together, and figured out that the swords should have been ONE from the beginning, thus the reason for their auras. She too read the very fitting name, and smiled. All would be better in Ranma's life . . . boy, was it getting warm in the house all of a sudden.

Akane couldn't believe it. Ranma had wrecked the house again! Deciding it was time to punish him, one last time before her father made him leave, Akane produced her chi mallet.

"STOP!" roared Peorth, noticing what the youngest Tendo was up to. "He has done something that we in the Heavens had hoped would happen for two millennia. He joined the two Soul swords and created the weapon of myth."

"What?" growled Akane, taking a real good look at the sword laying next to the Saotome honor blade. The katana seemed to GLOW on its own . . . no, that must be a trick of the light. In fact, why was the honor blade here?

"Akane Tendo," spoke Nodoka through clenched teeth, "You have a LOT of explaining to do." She stood up from her place at the table, and walked over to where Akane was standing. "However, Ranma is now the clan head. He had proven himself more than manly in my eyes. You will have to deal with him when he calls for you. For now, I suggest you return to your room."

Akane lost control of her temper again.

"Just why is he so damned special?!" she screamed, then charged up the stairs with disapproving gazes from her family following her.

"He is special because he created the genuine article in that sword laying next to him," spoke Nodoka to the others present in the room. Then she spotted Genma trying his best to hide in a corner.

"Genma, I suggest you get out of his life now," spoke Soun, surprising everybody present with the sudden show of spine, "I do believe that he will be extremely angry with you. And I know the legend of Soul Edge . . . the sword would devour souls of those killed with it, and it TOLD the person wielding it techniques that were unstoppable. That would explain why he would soak up martial arts like a sponge . . ."

He trailed off when a groan came from the floor. Nabiki and Kasumi were back by his sides in an instant, while Genma slid out the back door. Ranma groaned again, then sat up in a rush, colliding heads with the two girls floating over him.

"OUCH!" shouted all three at once, then they paused, looked at each other and started laughing. Ranma placed his hands down to brace himself, and he felt the sword hilts. One, the Saotome honor blade. The other . . .

"No fucking way," slipped out of his mouth as he read the name on the hilt. The sword in his hands was supposed to be nothing more than a myth. But here it was, in his left hand. He blushed at his verbal slip-up, then went back to staring at the latest addition to his arsenal.

"Ranma," spoke Urd. Peorth had already returned to the heavens, "Your life is yours to lead. But heed the warnings of the Heavens: Abuse that sword and we will take it from you, with force."

"Urd," responded Ranma, "Fear not what I or the sword will do. Fear what the forces of chaos will do when they learn that this sword walks the Earth again."

She had to nod at that, and her gaze softened. "Ranma, if you need anything, just chant my name next to a television and I'll appear. Until we meet again."

With that, Urd vanished into the TV.

Ranma stood up, with Nabiki and Kasumi hanging off his arms. He could tell that the combined wishes of two different souls was starting to take effect. These two he didn't mind, after all they were closer to normal than their younger sister.

"Let's go out for dinner," stated Ranma to the others, "How does Ucchans sound to you?"

"You buying?" asked Soun, a slight smile on his face.

"Why yes, I am. Just one second and I'll be ready," answered Ranma, the mirth of the joke not lost on him for once. His picked up the sword, twirled it a couple of times then attached it to a magnetic half-scabbard that had appeared on his back. Turned out to be a good thing, the sword was almost six feet long by two wide, like a broadsword.

The most unnerving thing was the pair of eyes, until they closed and blended in with the sword.

Ukyo Kuonji was surprised when Ranma walked in the door with Nabiki and Kasumi hanging off of either arm, followed by Nodoka and Soun. She felt that bit of jealousy, then realized that it had melted almost instantly. You guessed it, another effect of the wish.

"Ucchan, a round of specials for everybody," declared Ranma, who produced two hundred thousand yen from nowhere. As she put the cash away, she finally saw the sword attached to his back. From across the room she could read the name on the hilt, which nearly resulted in the entire grill/bar to be a giant Okonomiyaki. She watched as he sat down between the sisters Tendo, at the head of the table. 'Whoa, since when did Ranma get to be the HEAD? Must be that sword . . .' she thought as she cooked dinner for her guests/paying handsomely customers. She would catch the briefest snippets of conversation, and it sounded like Ranma no longer had a worry in the world. Her ever faithful ninja Konastu appeared, and whispered in her ear.

"The chaos aura is now under control," spoke the quasi-waitress, then he drifted away to check on the customers. Ukyo smiled at that, Ranma was now in more control of his life than he had ever been before. As the last of the food finished cooking, she personally took it over to Ranma and his party.

Subtly suddenly left the restaurant with the appearance of the Eternal Wanderer.

"RANMA, PREAPRE TO DIE!" shouted Ryoga, who had not noticed the sword attached to Ranma's back. That was, until a flick of the wrist later and Ryoga stopped his attack due to being a millimeter away from impaling his neck on the blade of . . . NO! Common sense left his brain entirely at this and the words that would attract even more chaos were spoken.

"Since when did YOU get your hands on Excalibur?!" demanded Ryoga, drawing all eyes and ears onto Ranma Saotome.

"Since he joined the Soul swords," spoke a voice from the door. All eyes turned towards that voice, and the screaming commenced. Part of the being at the door looked human, like the head and parts of the torso. But the right arm . . . it was a DEMON arm!

"Let me introduce you, to the GREATEST NIGHTMARE!" shouted the quasi-human as he charged at Ranma, remnants of the first Soul Edge in hand . . .

TBC, perhaps . . .

Edited for your enjoyment as I recently moved and am waiting for the phone lines to be installed. Then I'll lose myself in the net again.

Ja!


	22. TGD 2

Disclaimer: Same as last chapter, don't own anything but the PC, DVD's, PS2 and the games . . .

The Goddess Dilemma, part two

By: Jim Ohki

"Let me introduce you, to the GREATEST NIGHTMARE!" roared the quasi-human, or rather what was left of him, as he charged Ranma. It could sense that this is where Soul Edge had gone, and it could detect the faint hint of it being in contact with the boy.

"NOT IN HERE!" returned Ranma, drawing the blade of legend from Ryoga's throat. The sword, formerly known as either Soul Edge or Soul Calibur, sent the best way to send the beast back out the same door it had come in, while producing maximum damage. Ranma agreed, and he could almost feel the sword's anticipation of a meal.

Charging forward at what he considered to be a normal pace, Ranma delivered a powerful straight jab to the beast's chest. The desired effect was achieved when the creature went flying out the front door to Ucchans, into the street.

"Very good, human," it spoke once he had followed it outside, "But nobody can stop Nightmare. That sword needs to be lost to all mankind for eternity. You will surrender it or die."

"This is a first," groused Ranma, "An opponent who gives me a choice. But I choose option number three, TO KICK YOUR ASS!"

Nightmare paused for a split second. This mere human, responding to it's challenge, was not backing down. Oh, did that bring back memories. Retaining a firm grim on his sanity, Nightmare took up a ready position.

"So be it, human. My blade will feast on your soul."

"Bring it!" retorted Ranma, taking a ready stance that the sword hinted would get whatever passed for blood in Nightmare boiling. He was ready for any assault, and noticed that the people of the area had long since vacated. Everybody was no less that three hundred yards away, and that included his friends and would be suitors. Although why Nabiki had a camcorder out he would probably not like to know.

Nightmare growled. How dare this WORM take up the stance of his most hated enemy!? With that, the battle was joined and mass destruction commenced.

"SOULS, GIVE ME STRENGTH!" roared the beast, right claw in the air. Ranma could tell that this was some type of power boost, and he wouldn't let it finish. He charged into the beast's personal space, and delivered a vertical up-down slash combo with his sword, followed with an axe kick to the head. Nightmare stumbled backward, but didn't fall down. It attacked with a straight thrust of the organic sword, and just barely tagged Ranma. He returned the attack with a leg sweep, and a downward thrust of his sword after the beast had gone down. But Nightmare was faster than it looked, and rolled out of the way of the attempt to stab clean through it. Ranma backed off, and got another idea from the sword. It was fairly weak, but it would infuriate Nightmare to no end. He went into a sword jab/punch to the head combo, much like a former wielder of the blade had done.

"IMPUTENT HUMAN!" seethed Nightmare as Ranma twirled the sword and reattached it to his back. The people watching gasped as the weapon's eyes blinked a couple of times in obvious surprise, then closed to let it's new master finish the fight the best way he knew how.

The spectators scattered when Ranma started that oh so familiar spiral pattern. Nightmare was getting frustrated, which turned into anger at his inability to hit his target. Just as the immortal thought his target was within reach, a hurricane started up from nowhere.

"HIRYU SHOTEN HA!" shouted Ranma, right fist raised in a punch follow-through. He watched with satisfaction as the target of the punch went flying high into the sky. The smirk that he wasn't even aware of on his face faded when the enemy landed.

"Is that the best you can do?" asked Nightmare, with a new respect for his foe. Yes, that had hurt, but it was not enough to finish the self-appointed guardian of Soul Edge.

"Not really," answered Ranma while trying to figure out just what the hell to do now. That was one of the best techniques in his arsenal, and it had not finished the enemy off. The respect of an opponent who could take punishment and dish out more went up a few notches.

_THUD!_

Silence reined supreme, as nobody could believe that Nightmare had fainted. Apparently that last attack was enough to finish the quasi-human, but it just took a while for the effects to catch up to it. Once Ranma was sure the reformed demon was out for the count and not wanting another round, he and his entourage turned to leave.

"MY RESTURANT!" exclaimed Ukyo, which stopped the new found swordsman. Turning to look at the damage that he had hoped to avoid, Ranma himself nearly had a coronary.

The entire build had collapsed on itself, and the cause was a power attack from the beast that was . . .

"Where'd he go?!" demanded Nabiki, whose keen sense of observation noted that the unconscious beast was not where they had left it. This caused a panic in the crowd that was watching the event, as not one person had seen the monster get up and walk away. Nor had anybody come in with a stretcher and removed it. Nightmare, the self-proclaimed guardian of Soul Edge, had just dropped off the face of the Earth.

"Forget that," growled Ukyo, "Just where the hell am I going to sleep?!"

_-(Tendo Residence)-_

Everybody was in for a surprise when they got back to the dojo. Or rather, those that had returned to the dojo. Seemed Nodoka wanted a word with Soun in private, and thus took him to her house. This left Kasumi, Nabiki, Ranma and Ukyo all alone.

Where was Akane? She was up in her room, plotting revenge on Ranma for some offense that the boy had yet to commit. That, and that sword terrified her to no end.

But the biggest surprise for them was who was waiting for their arrival. Cologne, Shampoo and Mousse were camped at the table, waiting for their 'hosts' to return. And even they weren't alone, as the two Goddesses from before were on the other side, with guests of their own.

"NIHAO!" cheerfully exclaimed Shampoo, bouncing in place to get Ranma's attention. She didn't go for the glomp because of the way that the girls with Ranma shifted him to the rear flank, much to his chagrin. Shampoo was most DEFINITELY a result of the Ranma 'attract-violent-girl' syndrome, and he knew it. Of course, if he hadn't fought her, then he wouldn't have to deal with the breast . . . bubbly person now seated at the table. Cologne, who had already whapped Mousse to keep him quiet, was enjoying tea that one of the Goddess' guests brought out from the kitchen.

"Shampoo," greeted Ranma, wary of any traps, "Mousse. Old Ghoul."

_THWIP! ZIP! THUD-KERCLANK-BOING!_

Ah, good. So far, situation normal as Cologne tried to whap Ranma on the head for the Old Ghoul comment, but quickly found that he had picked up a new trick . . . and a new toy . . . since the last time she spoke to him, which was all of two days ago. Her staff, pogo stick and attitude adjuster was now stuck in the wall behind her, buried over three quarters of the way in. She eyed the weapon held in his hand, and for the first time in two hundred seventy-nine years was shocked beyond belief.

"That weapon," she mumbled after noting the name, then found her voice again, "Where did you get that sword from?"

"It's a gift," Ranma replied, "A very divine gift." It was close enough to the truth that he didn't feel bad about lying . . . at least, not too much. No need to tip his hand to the mummified remains of a human being in front of him.

"There are many legends in the village about that sword," said Cologne, getting close enough to look for flaws that would denote the weapon as a fake. "This is not the English Excalibur. That one was truly just a sword, wielded by the best of the best. The weapon you hold was thought to have been lost a millennia before the rein of King Arthur and his Knights."

"Ah, good," commented one of the visitors, "Then the English will be happy that their Monarchy will remain intact."

"Where are my manners?" chimed in Kasumi, drawing the conversation away from Ranma and the latest addition to his arsenal. "Cologne, Shampoo, Mousse I'd like you to meet Urd, Peorth and . . ." here she trailed off, drawing a blank about the other two 'people' with them. Urd caught the implied question in a heartbeat, and continued from where Kasumi left off.

"This is my sister Belldandy," she said while gesturing to her right, "And the one to my left is my mother, Hild."

Shampoo and Ukyo eyed the newcomers wearily. They were all highly attractive, sweet personalities (WAIT FOR IT), and . . .

"That's Hild, Queen of Hell!" exclaimed the near perfect duplicate of Urd, sans the facial tattoo differences. Oh, and the attitude did seem a little different as Hild went to roast her wayward daughter only to have her spell fizzle and die.

"Uh-uh-uh," chided Ranma, wagging his finger side to side, "Not inside the house please. I cause enough damage around here as it is." Internally though, he was screaming at himself, 'Just how the hell did I do that?!'

The respect level for the boy went up a few notches, or in a couple of cases a few dozen notches, at the application of something rare for him: the use of brain-power. Of course, it didn't hurt that he had basically told the A-1 most powerful demon that she was DENIED.

The only side effect of this was that the females present minus Cologne, who was twitching on the floor, swooned. Now Ranma panicked.

"Quit lookin' at me like that!" he shouted, jumping out the back door. The fact that the door was closed was lost in his rush to vacate the house full of females looking for the world like they found 'the one'. Reapplying the previous brain power backfired this time though, as Ranma broke out the colorful metaphors.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell am I?!" he loudly complained, "A side of fucking beef or some type of goddamned game trophy?!"

Eureka, instant mood change. Even from their new positions on the floor, Ranma could tell that he'd said a bit too much. Or it could have been that it was phrased wrong. He didn't have time to think about it as the current occupants of the house jumped up, and charged the now stunned boy.

"Aw crap, whatdoIdo whatdoIdo?!" screeched a now female Ranma after tripping while backpedaling and falling into the Koi pond. Apologizing seemed out of the question at the moment as Moose supplied the eight women with weapons. Cologne needed no weapon as she retrieved her pogo stick from the wall. Deciding that it might have a better potential for success, Ranma made a break for the compound wall.

Or rather, she would have if Kodachi hadn't decided that right now was a perfect time for a visit. Ranma collided with the gymnast, and both fell to the ground with a resounding thud. She was on her feet in a flash, running away from Kodachi when the outer wall to the compound exploded, revealing the Eternal Wanderer. And of course, whenever Chaos attacks, it attacks in trios. Guess who else has just arrived.

"I SHALL SMITE THEE!"

"Great," grumbled Ranma, "Not only do I have the retards Kuno, I have bacon breath showing up at the same time. All right, let's dance."

In the five seconds it took from the wall exploding to Ranma cursing the opponents in front of him, the curse change happened again. Now back to being male, Ranma became set to attack these wonderful intruders when he remembered that the entire house, sans the sisters Tendo and Belldandy (based on appearances) was full of fighters. Fighters that wanted to stay on his good side now.

_CHINK-A-CHINK-A-CHINK_

That would be the chains coming from Mousse. Oh look, there goes a bon-bori. Chaos reigned supreme, especially when the absolute last person wanted around a house of females appeared, if only to get clonked upside the head by a duck shaped bedpan.

"SWEET-OOF!"

"Stop picking on poor Ryoga!" shouted Akane as she came out of the house with a flying kick aimed at Ranma's head. Of course, she whiffed as Ranma leaned to the right. Akane ended up knocking Ryoga over, as gravity had taken hold and lowered her trajectory. He lay on the ground, grasping the family jewels, groaning in pain.

That was a low blow, even if unintentional. The fight paused for all of five seconds for the obligatory "Ooh, that's gotta hurt", then resumed with a vengeance. As in, Kasumi wielding a frying pan and Nabiki flinging around a chair vengeance.

Yes, free-for-all.

Ranma decided to take on the most dangerous of the opponents in the form of Happosai. Ukyo and Shampoo squared off against Kodachi and Tatewaki. The goddesses stepped back to watch, and perhaps heal those that needed it. Hild, however, was glaring daggers at Happi, and only restrained herself by not wanting the wrath of Ranma. Ryoga decided that it would be in his best interest to stay out of this one, at least for now. Although, Mousse was ready with a few dozen bedpans in the event that Ryoga got out of line.

The biggest surprise was that Kasumi and Nabiki were double teaming Akane. The reason as to WHY the most docile person and the reforming mercenary were involved became apparent when an heirloom of their mother, the very last one to have survived so long without injury, came loose from its mount on the wall when Akane whiffed with what she thought was a surprise punch. She had tagged the wall, the vibrations went all around the house, and the resulting crash-crink-clink of broken glass led to this latest development. The combatants all stared each other down, waiting for some signal to begin the melee. As the neighbors fled, somebody shouted.

Insert voice from Mortal Kombat: "FIGHT!"

Where that came from is unimportant. What is important is that acted as the starting signal, and the riot commenced. Objects and bodies flew through the air with the greatest of ease, some even clearing the wall and hitting civilians. Ranma was taking his fight seriously, mostly due to being extremely enraged at Happi as he openly attempted a rebound glomp of Urd, Peorth, Nabiki, Belldandy, Hild, Shampoo, Kasumi (DEATH WISH!), Ukyo, Kodachi (she does have a nice rack), Akane back to Urd. In that order. Attempted as in foiled every time he tried to get it going, by either one of the targets, sending him back to Ranma, or by the boy himself. Akane was on the defensive from her sisters, not wanting to hurt family but still be the BEST Tendo fighter around. Kasumi's frying pan of doom proved her wrong with a bonk to the shoulder, sending the youngest sister to the ground in immense pain.

We now pull back from the riot in progress to breathe some fresh air. The dust from the fight could be seen for blocks, and the occasional lightning bolt could be seen for miles. The property damage was intense, as entire blocks worth of houses crumbled from shockwaves, flying debris, flying bodies, and Ryoga causing earthquakes with the Baksai Tenketsu.

While most of the Nerima ward ran for their lives, a few people were running into the fray. Soun and Nodoka came from the Saotome home as soon as the news on the television showed what appeared to be the long awaited nuclear meltdown at the Tendo residence. The police, JSSDF, and United Nations troops were maintaining their distance, not wanting to break out the machines of war unless the riot spread. And spread it appeared to do when another riot spontaneously sprung up in the Juuban ward. The people there fled, and joined those fleeing from Nerima. The resulting rush of people funneled into downtown Tokyo, causing havoc with the evening rush hour.

Just another day in the life of Ranma Saotome.

The fight drew more attention then just that of the locals. Just after the melee started, a minute tear in the space-time continuum opened up, making a nifty deposit of several people. Right on top of a fully recovered Nightmare.

"Fools," he grumbled, forcing the impromptu dog-pile off of him by standing up. Those that had dropped in for a nice visit nearly had a coronary when they saw who was speaking to them. Although, a trip like that through time and space does make it hard to do much of anything.

"You," groaned out one of four females sprawled out on the ground. The others were apparently to paralyzed with fear to do much of anything other than stare at the once-human now-demon.

"Yes, me," responded Nightmare, earning confused looks all around, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"If it wasn't for the fact that it was you," replied one of the three males, "I could've sworn that was a joke."

"It was," deadpanned Nightmare, "You know, six hundred years can change even somebody as bull headed as myself."

"What are you talking about?" demanded the second of four females, now able to stand. "Six hundred years my ass. Prove it."

"Okay Cassandra. Look outside."

It wasn't just the recently identified Cassandra Alexandra that looked outside, the entire group did. Only to see a massive dust cloud off in the distance, machines of war rumbling about, people running in circles in abject fear.

"Looks like your handy work," quipped another of the males, this one carrying a staff.

"No it is not," evenly retorted Nightmare, "This is the work of the man that fused the Soul swords. Pay attention to the chaos signatures Kilik, and LEARN."

"Wait a minute," chimed in the next to last female, who was wearing an almost illegal mini-skirt. "The Soul swords were FUSED?! How?!"

"Xianghua," flatly said Nightmare, "You will probably get a chance to meet the mortal that fused the swords into one. Right now I want to know just why you people are here."

"Psh," snorted Mr. Nunchaku himself, Maxi. "Like I am supposed to know why we were launched this far into the future. It could be the sword summoning us, or it could be that some higher being is doing this for a lark."

"Then how about we stop standing around here and go there," spoke the Sword-Whip dominatrix known as Ivy. She made for the door, quickly followed by everybody else. Nightmare stayed quiet about the wielder of the Soul swords, some deep instinct telling him that this was more likely a test, to see if they were worthy enough to be in the presence of the young man who had accomplished such a feat.

Back to the main matter at hand, the quickly dying fight at the Tendo Dojo . . .

Quickly dying as in quite a few of the combatants were down. Some were simply too injured to fight, while others just plainly had the shit beat out of them. All three Tendo sisters were sporting bruises and minor cuts, the will to fight and the anger that drove the will completely spent. The Kuno siblings were both out for the count after a mid-air collision when Ukyo launched Kodachi with an over the shoulder Okonomiyaki toss, and Shampoo punted Tatewaki. Ryoga was sitting on the sidelines, an icepack applied to a now very tender area of his body. Mousse had lost his seventh pair of glasses while running interference on Happosai, trying to keep the Uber-Pervert from getting anywhere near the women. Shortly after losing his glasses did he impact one of two trees still standing in the backyard, laying him out.

Cologne wasn't as lucky as the others mentioned so far. She had smothered a wayward Happo Fire Burst, taking the effects of it full on at point blank range. Shampoo knelt next to her, crying and wiping the blood from her eyes courtesy of a cut on the forehead from Mr. Insane Kendoist.

Ukyo lay exhausted on the remains of the grass, every muscle protesting the extreme over-usage. She could hear the one fight that was still ongoing, and how each combatant was wearing thin on energy reserves.

The Goddesses and sole Demon, once properly PERSUADED, began the task of healing those they could while preventing any attempts at escape. Even though they defended themselves, they all knew that Kami-sama would not be pleased in the slightest if they interfered in the fight. This was something that had been boiling for far too long, and the meltdown was severely needed.

Ranma and Happi were still going, albeit very slowly. The chi and ki attacks were long abandoned in favor of the physical to preserve what little bit they had left. All those foiled attempts at glomping paid off dividends because it prevented Happosai from recharging while fighting. Being that this was a duel between martial artists, Ranma was avoiding using either the sword or the katana that he carried. At least, until all other options were totally exhausted. Which was upon the boy. Not having had the time to practice the new styles and moves granted in his wish was turning out to be a bad thing, since those moves would be new and unexpected. But Ranma just didn't have the time to properly integrate them into the Anything Goes Style, and thus were useless at the moment.

"Give up boy," panted Happosai during a small mutual break for air, "You're still not good enough to defeat me, even if you used your weapons."

"Shut up and fight," retorted a partially recovered Ranma, beginning their dance yet again. Neither had noticed the growing spectators, from a new batch of people camped up on the remaining wall to those that were recovering from such a fierce battle. Those that truly knew Ranma were surprised when he broke out the broadsword, engraved with the Excalibur name. Happi had to do a double take, and those up on the wall had a hard time remaining silent at the appearance of such a mythological weapon.

"How disappointing," remarked Happosai, "that you would resort to using a weapon. We both know that you are better than that Ranma."

"If it were anybody else, I wouldn't even consider it," replied Ranma smoothly to the accusation. "But we also know that this fight, this battle cannot end in a stalemate. It is either you, or I that will win this."

Uh oh. Proper grammar from Ranma? Again those that knew Ranma reacted, by moving farther away out of the line of fire. This was a fight to the death, a rare duel to be witnessed by a select few. Legends, songs and operas would spring forth from this clash of the Titans, oh what a glorious day!

Bah, too much Klingon Blood Wine . . .

Ranma twisted his wrist, presenting Happosai with the flat of the blade. And thus, Happi promptly ruined his shorts when the eyes on the sword opened, daring the pint-sized pervert to attack. Ranma smirked at the reaction he got from Happosai as the sword engaged the master of the Anything Goes School in a staring contest.

Both combatants charged at an unseen signal, ready to finish the fight . . . and a life, once and for all . . .

TBC

Ooh, evil cliffhanger. But my mind is fried with the latest additions to my game collection. That, and I am trying to figure the best way to write characters in and out smoothly. If I have missed the mark with any facts, please let me know so I can correct it.

Just don't hold your breath as maddening waits occur since I work like sixty hours a week . . .

Until next we meet, Ja Ne!


	23. TGD 3

Disclaimer: Same as last chapter, don t own anything but the PC, DVD s, PS2 and the game . . .

Note: This fic is currently funner to write than Soul Mates or Genesis Muyo One Half. But fear not, I will eventually get to them . . . let s say for now that this fic is the cream of the crop. At least until I either get bored with it or finish it. Oh boy, I added a new game to my collection recently. Watch out for character appearances from there as well . . . and my fight scenes suck. I will admit THAT much.

The Goddess Dilemma, part three

By: Jim Ohki

The really cool fight music from Shadow Hearts Covenant (boss fight type, Techno, disk two) fired up as Ranma and Happi clashed. Ranma, using the half-organic Excalibur, versus Happosai, using his trusty pipe.

Oh boy was that ever a mismatch. Well considering Happi s size, that pipe of his was larger than a dagger for a person of a . . . taller state. Although, being locked in a staring contest with a sword ranked about a nine point eight-three on the weird-shit-o-meter. This was Nerima after all, it took something even MORE extreme than an obviously sentient half-organic sword to make a full ten.

By some unseen signal, the two became a blur of motion. Sparks, skin and cloth flew through the air as fight progressed. The two remaining trees were turned into toothpicks by the air pressure alone, and the spectators were driven back as the wall collapsed. The fight spilled into the streets, people screamed, civilians got hurt. Ranma s followers and general wanting to stay on his good side people became triage nurses, doctors, and crowd control. The people that had yet to be noticed by the natives were doing their best to blend into the shadows, observing the fight.

Speaking of, let s try to see past the dust, debris, and occasional flying bra.

Ranma was on the defensive, using the oversized organic broadsword to deflect that damned pipe of Happosai. Between attempts at pressure points, Happi had produced water balloons and the infamous bra for his female half. So the boy, no young man, was using the flat of the blade as a bat, flinging the water and feminine undergarments back at the old fart, while using the meat slicer to attempt to chop that pipe in half. Using the soul of ice was proving to be a good thing right now as Happi was quickly losing his temper. Being thwarted continuously at the pressure point attacks, as well as having to dodge his own projectiles, was quickly eating away at the Ki Vampire s patience. When Ranma saw his opening, he attacked with an up-down-left slashing combo, that succeeded in at least disarming the ancient pervert.

Then there was a forced pause as what looked like a trapped spirit, nay, SPIRITS, started screaming for help. Both were female, and apparently had taken on Happi sometime in the past. When they lost, well . . . the old fart got to enjoy their company, whether they liked it or not.

What the hell old man? demanded Ranma, who was transfixed by the redhead that was cursing Happosai in fluent German. Of course, the brunette that was swearing death to the old man in Italian couldn t be ignored either.

Now look at what you did, accused Happi, in the oh-so familiar attempt of his to shift blame for something onto somebody else. These two had been content to be quiet and not make a fuss. Then you go and get them riled up for no good reason.

LET US OUT OF HERE! demanded the German, making her and her friend s stance on the issue quite clear.

I will take your head off for whatever you did to them, Happosai, deadpanned Ranma, turning the blade to a horizontal slash, slicing Happi across his chest.

Now then, anybody who knows about sentient swords that eats souls could predict what should have happened. Instead of devouring Happosai s soul, however, the sword did pick something up for one of the two trapped inside the perverted martial artist s aura. It sent the information to Ranma s brain, which then in turn processed it five minutes later.

They are ALIVE?! shouted the pig-tailed youth, twirling the broadsword and attaching it to his back. Of course, he only did this to break out the Saotome Honor blade, conveniently tossed in by somebody in the crowd. What Happi didn t know was that some knowledge of a long forgotten sword art had been absorbed by the demon half of the blade Excalibur, and passed into Ranma.

With a cry of Geuschbenst! , the Saotome Blade seemed to glow with power before Ranma blurred into motion. Those that could follow counted a twenty-four hit attack, with the finisher being a knock-up move. When the last four hits rained upon Happi, those present could hear Ranma say, Now . . . DIE! , in stereo.

Happi flew through the air with the greatest of ease, only to land very hard on the pavement twenty feet away from where the surprise attack began. He tried to get up, but found that he was in a world of pain. Bleeding from twenty-four different slashes on his body, Happi knew that he was on the verge of defeat. But that would mean that the two souls, complete with bodies locked in a kind of temporal stasis, would be free. Oh, how the desire he felt from both women towards his one time best pupil fueled his desire to fight.

Let s finish this! shouted Ranma, fully recharged for a physical and ki fight. Seeing those two souls begging for release had done something that only Saffron and Herb had accomplished . . . the boy was ANGRY. The Soul of Ice reversed into the Soul of Fire, melting the pavement under Ranma. Happosai realized he was in deep shit when Ranma had sheathed the Saotome blade, and took an offensive stance.

Finish it we shall, and your female half will be MINE! retorted Happi, flaring his aura to maximum power. That was about as far as he got since Ranma was instantly invading his personal space, delivering thousands of blows with the Chestnut Fist. Happosai partially countered the attack, receiving medium damage. He was not prepared, however, when Ranma finished the attack he dropped an elbow onto the middle of Happi s head. The blow knocked something loose from inside of the ancient martial artist s gi, and Ranma scooped it up before the old bag of bones could notice it.

Deciding that the item s examination could wait until after the fight, Ranma figured out the only way to finish this fight was to violate his personal honor. Accessing the Yami-Sen-Ken, he charged at the Master of Anything Goes intending to separate his head from the rest of his body.

NO! shouted nearly everybody present, minus those in the shadows. They could see that Happi was on the verge of yielding, and that there would be no reason for such a finisher move. Too bad that Ranma was beyond rage at Happosai for his transgressions over time. The two apparent souls trapped inside of his aura, the demise of Cologne (who Ranma was just starting to truly respect), the constant fondling of his female half and other women, the panty raids across Nerima. It had to end and it had to end NOW.

Happosai, PREPARE TO DIE! roared Ranma, his aura exploding outward igniting everything flammable within a fifty yard radius. The adept Ki and Chi users could only tremble in fear at the power the boy possessed, as he casually flicked his wrist to the side, decapitating the vertically challenged Master.

Silence reined supreme for only a brief moment, then there was an explosion as the remains of Happosai s body could no longer contain the vast amounts of ki that he had accumulated over three hundred years of life. Windows for miles were shattered by the backlash of power being released, Ranma went sailing through the air, and the observers of the death match were knocked down. When the dust cleared, it looked like a small nuclear weapon had been detonated in the middle of the street. In the crater that went down thirty feet below ground lay two bodies, miraculously unscathed.

Gimmie a hand here! shouted Mousse as he slid down the slope of the crater. The rest of the Wrecking Crew followed suit, taking notice of the two people laying at what had been ground zero. Ranma himself appeared from nowhere, literally flying towards the two females laying unconscious to make sure only his intended target had gotten hurt.

Tensions ran high within the NWC, as they didn t know what kind of mindset that Ranma was in. From appearances alone, he appeared to have calmed down significantly. But as with everything within Nerima, judging by appearances alone was the equivalent of the saying: Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.

They re alive, said Ranma, carefully picking up the redhead. He was no doctor, even though having been on the road for ten years, he knew that internal injuries were not immediately known. The others in the crater, the sisters Tendo sans Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo, Mousse, the Goddesses, the Demon, and Soun formed a human rope out of the crater. Mousse had just as carefully picked up the brunette, and was also helped out by the human rope. Once everybody was back up top, they traveled the eight blocks back towards were the dojo had been.

What the?! queried Ranma, noticing that other than the perimeter wall being heavily damaged, and the windows being blown out, the house was intact.

Not our doing, spoke the Goddesses when everybody looked at them. As soon as the words left their mouth, a lightning bolt came down from the heavens right next to everybody. Reading the message, the Goddesses turned to look at Hild with Spock Maneuvers in full effect.

What? Do I have something on my face? she asked, playing dumb to the situation.

A rare act of kindness from a demon, said Belldandy, ruining the effect that Hild was trying to present to the mortals, How nice. Although Father wants to know what you re going to do about the snow down there.

Bah, so hell froze over. It ll thaw in an hour, nonchalantly replied Hild, ignoring the question from on high. After all who did Kami-sama think he was, ruler of all? He had his turf, she had hers and that was that.

ZZAAPP

More lightning bolts from on high, one to zap Hild and the other to send another message. The mortals fled into the house, not wanting to inadvertently be hit by the lightning falling from a clear sky. From inside they could hear the shout of, So WHAT if the demons are transporting the snow up?! Have some FUN with it!

Kasumi came down the stairs in the closest thing to a rush that the residents had ever seen with two bed rolls, one in each arm. See rolled them out in the blink of an eye for the people recently freed from the late Happosai. Soun, upon return to the house, started in on Ranma about the demise of their master. Not in the bad sense, mind you. He had poppers, sake, and cake. Where they had acquired the items from, nobody knew or cared.

Ranma slumped against the closest wall, and slid down. He was belittling himself for his actions during the fight. The outcome was NOTHING like he had wanted. The Saffron fight had taught Ranma one thing: warriors do what they have to, to survive. But losing control like that was not what was supposed to happen.

The women in his life noticed immediately the posture of the man they loved. The downcast eyes, the ever so slight tremble, the occasional quiver of his lower lip. The way he was slumped against the wall, with no interest in anything at the moment. Well, anything other than the welfare of the newest guests to the Tendo residence. He would steal glances in their direction from time to time, then resume studying his feet. Remembering the item that Happosai had dropped, Ranma pulled it out of . . . somewhere, and examined it.

The sounds of a cash register going KA-CHING were heard from two different areas of the living room. All eyes fell on the item in Ranma s hands, and more sound effects were heard. The in stereo Oh my! was lost on everybody, but the resounding drip-drip-drip of drool hitting the floor was not.

Ranma held what looked like a Rubix Cube, studded with all sorts of valuable gems. The red squares held rubies, blue had sapphires, white had diamonds, yellow had chunks of gold, and green had what appeared to be Mythril. The sixth side of the cube looked like an older style lock on a chest. The lock hole looked like a cross, however.

Ugh, came a voice from the floor. The German was waking up, and attracted everybody s attention. That was when visual confirmation was doubly needed on her attire.

Yes, everybody did a double-take of the daring outfit.

The shirt, if it could be called that, was held up by a small choker. It was an off-white sleeveless number, tucked into a mini-skirt that showed two things. One was the lack of a bra, and the second was her generous breast size. Thigh-high Stiletto boots, the laced-up kind, emphasized her long legs. (Seriously, play Shadow Hearts Covenant for PS2. That s as close to accurate as I could get.)

Ooh, my head, complained the brunette. Her dress, while not nearly as daring as her companion s, still showed off a lot of tanned skin. Her voice, deep and apparent full body tan, and demeanor all resembled a certain Galaxy Police officer from another series.

Where are we? asked the redhead, having sat up to take in her surroundings. The last thing she remembered before the fight between the boy slumped against the wall and the old letch was fighting said letch herself.

Before we answer your questions, replied Nabiki, taking charge of the situation, Please as least give us your names.

Ah, proper protocol eh? sarcastically intoned the brunette, also having sat up to follow the conversation. Being more in tune with Ki and Chi flows, she could sense the Wa of the house going crazy. But before more conversation could be commenced, the people that had been hiding in the shadows during the fight appeared.

Not now man, said Ranma. Very flatly to boot. When the Goliath known as Nightmare waltzed in the front door, he had groaned internally. But the look on his face was of . . . amusement?

I am not here to fight you, evenly returned Nightmare, But instead I am here with some of the others from the old days. Why they are here, how they got here are questions that we do not know the answers to. Eureka, instant overcrowded living room. Even with the friends of the azure knight, the female population outnumbered the male by five to one.

A very good looking female population, should be noted. Short skirts, vinyl, and form-fitting Chinese dresses were the clothing of the hour. Kasumi and Belldandy became self-conscious of their conservative clothing, while Nabiki went to find her camera. Ooh, would pictures of these scantily clad women make a lot of yen with the ole Horde at Furinkan.

Okay, deadpanned Ranma, let s take this from the top.

And so the story behind Nightmare, Maxi, Yunsung, Xianghua, Kilik, Cassandra, and Ivy (A.K.A Isabella Valentine) was told. They had been after Soul Edge, the demonic half of the sword Ranma possessed, for varying reasons. Some good, some evil. They all acknowledged defeat to Nightmare, who had after the battles, cast the blade into a chasm. Xianghua recounted her tale of possessing Soul Calibur, the holy blade.

Unlike Nightmare, who had awakened with Soul Edge, the others had aforementioned (read: NO) clue as to how they arrived in the future. They had all been living separate lives, although they did keep in contact.

Ranma went into moderate detail about what his situation was. Moderate, as in he went as far back as his arrival in Nerima to then. He left out certain aspects, like the wishes that both his male and female half had made.

Finally, it was time for the latest arrivals to the Tendo house to tell their tale.

My name is Karin, spoke the redhead, My companion here is Lucia. The brunette waved hello, although she was primarily being ignored. Before I explain what happened to us, why we were in the possession of that old freak, can anybody tell me what year this is?

It is the year two thousand five, replied Belldandy automatically. She had gone to investigate the latest CRASH-KROOM! outside, and thus was the only one with the knowledge that the newest members of the NWC were permanent.

Ninety years have passed, said Karin, Since we fought that . . . thing known as Happosai. It was just after our ordeal with Special Agent Kato, who had attempted to remake the world in his image. Happosai came along investigating the Asuka Stone Platform, the door to the gates of time. Being extremely low on energy, he took advantage of our . . . situation. He had swiftly killed Yuri, Joachim, and Gepetto, the males of our group. Kurando, the only male left, was not with us at the time as he was left behind in his home village with Blanca, a wolf. While he spared Anastasia Romanov, for the simple reason she was just a child, he took liberties with Lucia and myself. We tried our hardest to fight him off, but we had no chance since our fight with Kato had used up all of our healing medicines.

Karin paused for a moment, trying to suppress the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. Lucia was no better, silently crying while reliving that horrific day.

Everybody else had pieced together the puzzle, and frowned at the results. Have fear, Kasumi and Belldandy in the same room, at the same time FROWNING. The other fighters in the room were glowing a faint red in rage.

He, Karin pressed on, He . . . had his way with us. Not just the groping we have witnessed over the years. After he had forced himself upon us, he sealed us within his aura. We never knew the reason why, but we assume it was because he always takes a trophy of his conquests. We have been fighting him the entire time, and have prevented others from suffering our fate.

POOF!

Hild had a Washu brand Holo-Top PC( ) in view, and was typing away furiously. Knowing that Happosai had no chance at getting into Heaven, she had to know just what level of Hell he was in. She quickly found him on the Fourth level of hell. Nope, that won t do at all. Typing in some commands, Hild sent the soul of Happosai into the Ninth level of hell for eternity. And to make sure he would be tormented to the maximum, Hild created a new torture program.

Transvestite Homosexual rapists . . . of the tentacle variety.

Ooh, bad image . . .

While this was occurring, the cluster of people broke into several different conversations. The two freed from Happi were thanking Ranma, while his erstwhile fianc es moved into a cluster around him. The Soul Calibur group mingled with the Goddesses and the Demon, trying to covertly discover the reason why they were there. Soun fled the house, not wanting to be around when the estrogen factories exploded for something the boy had done.

Remember the wishes from the first chapter? They re about to come into play . . .

After an hour of everybody getting acquainted with each other, Ranma had stepped outside to practice the additions to his Art. He had to learn how to incorporate all of the various disciplines into the Anything Goes style. The Earth-based styles were easy enough to master, since they all had some familiarity. What threw him for a loop was the alien martial arts. Klingon Wu-Shu, Romulan Kempo, Vulcan Tai Chi . . . the list goes on and on. The forms used by the founding races were extremely different from anything he had ever seen, and that didn t include the weapon based arts such as Juraian Swordplay.

So while quite literally stumbling through the first improvised kata, the second half of his wish (female half) took effect.

Ranma didn t know it due to his level of concentration, but he had an audience. A rather LARGE audience, all comprised of females. The ones he knew, the older sisters Tendo, Ukyo and Shampoo he could excuse because of the recent wish. Shampoo s case was still pending, but since she had lost the last of her family, it was leaning more towards acceptance. However, getting the same look from Cassandra, Taki, Xianghua, Ivy, Urd, Peorth, Belldandy, Hild, Karin and Lucia was unnerving. He really didn t know them, not to the point where he could accept them into the Saotome Harem , as it was being dubbed by said females.

Where had the others gone, you ask. Well, simple jealousy overrides most logic, so Mousse, Ryoga and Tatewaki were up to the usual plotting of revenge. Kodachi being herself, decided that laying low for the time being would be best, not wanting the wrath of fourteen women upon her.

Here s the over-used plot device, just thought I d give a warning . . .

The phone rang, and Nodoka being herself answered it. She was most surprised by WHO was calling, however.

Moshi moshi, Tendo residence, she said into the receiver.

Nodoka, how are you? asked an older male voice on the other end. She could hear the smile over the phone by the tone of the voice.

Dad? was said with surprise. It was not the secret of the century that Nodoka and her father weren t on speaking terms of late.

Yes dear, it s me, he replied, the mirth still present in his voice. Is my grandson available?

Cer . . . certainly, stuttered Nodoka, as she carefully set the receiver down so not to drop it. Then she quite literally flew out of the house, bowling over the entire assembly of women that were admiring her son as he performed a new kata. He saw her coming, and prepared for a collision. She did indeed hit him, but Ranma leaned left and twirled his mother around to prevent either of them from falling.

Mom, what is it? asked a concerned Ranma, noticing the wild look in his mother s eyes.

Your grandfather would like to talk to you, she said in a rush, having regained her footing to pull Ranma into the house at top speed. He had a surprised look on his face at the news that not only was at least one of his grandparents alive, but wanted to talk to him.

Hello? carefully asked Ranma into the phone, as Nodoka bounced around in the background. Too bad at this point a fight of sorts had broken out on the other end of the line.

LET GO! shouted one female voice, while another could be heard in the background crying.

YOU LET GO, YOU MONSTER WOMAN! roared yet another female.

Please don t fight, said a female child.

I was on the phone first, spoke an older male voice, please give it back.

STOP IT RIGHT NOW! reverberated not only through the house on the other end of the line, but the Tendo residence as well. This voice was of a younger male, somewhere around Ranma s age if he guessed correctly. And it was faintly familiar as well. But it had been at least thirteen years since that voice was heard. There was a rustle of cloth on the other end of the phone, followed by a Hello? Anybody there?

This is Ranma Saotome, said the boy, With whom am I speaking?

Ranma, good to hear from you. This is your grandfather, Katsuhito Masaki.

TBC

I warned of the plot device, but not in the way you re thinking. Oh yes, I am having FUN with this fic. Okay, next update will hopefully be during my vacation, so please bear with me. And for cryin out loud, if you re gonna leave a review that comprises of swearing at me cause you take the fic seriously, press Control Alt Delete twice. I DON T WANT TO HEAR IT! This fic is NOT to be taken seriously, far from it.

Many have asked for details, and I concede that yes, there is much work to be done. When I finish this fic, as I will probably do with my other projects, I ll create a bios page for those of you lost on the attire issue.

Ja Ne! 


	24. TGD 4

Disclaimer: I am not in the habit of repeating myself. I make nothing, own nothing, see nothing, hear nothing. Leave my poor soul alone please.

Rant: I will do what I can to increase the level of detail here. Remember, this is NOT a serious fic. Even if I throw in a serious moment from time to time. Abusive flamers please press Control Alt Delete twice, and go away. I have already had to ban one abusive reviewer, so please let's stay constructive and clean on the language.

The Goddess Dilemma, part four

By: Jim Ohki

"Grandpa?" asked Ranma as his audience from outside literally crowded in to listen to the conversation. They were unprepared for a snort from the boy, followed by, "Yeah right. Pops told me over and over again that all of my grandparents were dead."

"Clearly, that is not the case," calmly responded Katsuhito, "In fact, I want you to talk to your uncle. Noboyuki, say hello to your nephew Ranma."

There was a shuffling on the other end of the phone, followed by what sounded like the biggest nerd ever talking. Oh wait, that would be one of the bigger Hentai's talking.

"Ranma! Are you there?" asked Noboyuki, who could practically be heard jumping in place while waiting for the answer. Ranma looked cock-eyed at the phone, not quite understanding why he was getting such a reaction from the man on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, whadoya want?" responded Ranma very carefully, not wanting to be set up for anymore fiancées or trouble. Taking a look around him reminded the boy that he had enough problems, especially with the outfits of the people from the past. While he was used to short Chinese style dresses, the black number on Xianghua with matching black thigh-high boots nearly caused a nosebleed. After all, he DID have a nice view since she had one leg propped up on a randomly appearing chair . . . to prevent cramping. 'Hmmm, commando . . .' thought Ranma, while waiting for the person on the other end to stop with the hysterics.

"Ranma, it is you!" exclaimed Noboyuki, "We had thought that no good brother of mine would have gotten you killed. Oh thank heavens!"

"Wait a minute," said Ranma, "You're my dad's brother?" The aura of anger reappeared in the room, mostly from the NWC. If Genma had a brother, would he be as bad as the panda man himself?

Sounds of another scuffle broke out on the phone, accompanied by lots of shouting . . . female shouting. To see if the readers pay attention to the Tenchi OAV's, guess who said what.

"I need the phone!"

"Please don't fight!"

"How rude!"

"Children these days."

"Who are you talking to father?"

"MIYA!"

That last one did it. While Ranma could handle simultaneous shouting and such nonsense from women, the one thing he feared the most had just spoken.

"C-C-C-C-cat!" exclaimed Ranma, as he leaped to the ceiling. Even over the phone, the sounds of the beast would and could scare the living shit outta him. The phone was dropped to Nodoka, who tried to make sense of the gibberish coming from the other end. She caught partial pieces of the bedlam on the other end, until what sounded like a young man shouted for the fighting to stop. Instant silence, followed by said young man speaking into the phone.

"Who is this?"

"This is Nodoka Saotome," she said, noting the sharp intake of breath, "And whom am I speaking with?"

"SAOTOME!" roared the voice, "Wait . . . Nodoka? As in Ranma's mother Nodoka?"

"Yes," she replied, losing patience with the young man on the other end of the phone. "This is the last time I shall ask: Who am I talking to?"

"My name is Tenchi," he responded, "Sorry about not giving you my name earlier, but . . ." He was interrupted by somebody on his end of the line. "Oh . . . okay, grandpa." Now directly speaking to Nodoka, he said, "Is Ranma there? We heard his screaming something about a cat and wanted to make sure he was all right."

By this point, Ranma had come down from the ceiling, making a two point landing. He was watching his mother, to determine if he should get back on the phone or not. Noticing the subtle come here finger waggle, he sauntered back over to her. He carefully took the receiver from her grasp, and slowly moved it to his head.

"What's going on here?" demanded a new voice, from right next to Ranma's ear. No, the phone receiver had yet to be placed there, so it came as such a surprise when the phone sprouted a head. Said head (ooh, a rhyme) had wild cyan hair, going every which way as it tapered towards the back. Faint 'crab legs' of hair came from behind the face, obscuring the ears. Ooh, yeah . . . let's not forget the yellow cat slit eyes.

Ranma nearly screamed in soprano when the phone had sprouted the head, let alone when it began to talk. That had simply come out as a "GAH!" as the phone receiver was thrown across the room. Then he caught sight of her eyes . . .

"AAAGGGHHH!" faded off in the distance as Ranma made a break for it. Those eyes belonged to the demons of lore, one of three things that could actually terrify Ranma Saotome. In his rush to vacate the scene, he had quite literally scooped nearly every female present into his wake.

The remaining few at the Tendo Dojo, including the mystery head, could only blink-blink at the retreating back of the boy.

"And he defeated you?" asked Kilik of Nightmare, who was the most bewildered of the situation.

"Must have been a fluke," he replied, not wanting to take his eyes off of the direction Ranma had gone. He smirked at a hidden thought, which confused the others present. Being in rare form today, Nightmare decided to enlighten those present before they ran off after the boy.

"There is a small part of me that feels sorry for that boy," he told the others as he had a seat. "After all, Cassandra is not . . . male friendly." _THUD!_ "Please wait for me to finish before falling down. Now then, if he survives the gauntlet known as Cassandra, Xianghua will have a thing or seven hundred to say." _THUD!_ Nightmare paused to pointedly look at the others who apparently were wearing greased socks on hardwood floors. They just couldn't stay standing . . . or seated. Once those remaining were situated properly, even that head in the phone, he restarted his thought.

"Xianghua is by nature a flirt, as is apparent by her attire," explained Nightmare, "But beyond that, nobody truly knows. Well, a couple of us MIGHT know, but have been sworn to secrecy with the promise of death . . ." he was staring at Kilik, who was finding something on the floor interesting. "Oh yes," resumed Nightmare, "I know all about that. But it is not the here or now. If Xianghua or Cassandra don't take him apart, Taki most certainly will."

"Why is that?" asked Nodoka, "My son is many things, but even with his foot-in-mouth disease acquired from his father he tries to treat all women with respect, no matter what they have done to him. He may fire off insults, but as I have seen since I found him, Ranma has a hard time expressing how he feels unless he is happy . . . or angry. His father was a partial success with Ranma, but he left his son's emotional development behind with me the day I let him leave with my boy . . ."

"Shit," swore Kilik, drawing a few evil looks, "That would mean that when they get a glimpse into the complexities in that boy's mind . . ."

_THUD!_

That's right, everybody fell over again. Even those on the other end of the still active phone fell over, as the mystery head was doing a wonderful job with relaying what was going on. This may very well be one part of the formula to being a chick magnet . . . being honest, even if it tends to go into the brutal range from time to time. After all, those familiar with Ranma know that he is a HORRIBLE liar. Sure, he bends the truth from time to time to minimize the hurt he would feel later, but it never even went into the white lie range.

That and the fact that the lucky bastard doesn't even have to shave to look good . . .

"OH HAPPY DAY!" shouted Soun as he returned from upstairs, followed two seconds later by the lake he had created by crying 'water falling' down the stairs.

"Huh?" was repeated in stereo.

"The schools have been joined!" wailed Soun, as he bounced about the room. This had the adverse effect of hosing everybody present. Once secured on the floor with ninety feet of rope, from where it came is unknown, those present stared at the man behaving like a two year old.

"What are you rambling about?" demanded Nodoka, itching for the blade that she had given Ranma. Soun was near Genma on her least favorite people list, and just talking to the train wreck that the Tendo patriarch was almost gave her a migraine.

With an amazing feat of strength, mostly from something happy happening to his daughters, the rope binding the hyperactive meat-head on the floor went flying across the room in various pieces. Soun was lost to all reasoning, all sanity as he started dancing around the house again. Akane, being one of a few females left in the Tendo house, was trying her best to hide from the embarrassment caused by her father. That was until he dropped a sheet of paper in his bouncing about, which drifted right into her face.

_THWOK_

"Huh? What's this?" she asked of the room, knowing that there would be no response since the only person that did know was . . . doing the Macarena? And horribly, to boot. Deciding to ignore the flailing of her father, Akane read what he had dropped and shit a brick.

"I'LL KILL HIM!" she roared, making a break for the door. She didn't get very far however since she tripped over Ivy, who had tried her hardest to get out of the way. As both went down in a tumble of arms and legs, the piece of paper floated over to the head in the phone, who thought the situation was one of the funniest she had ever seen.

"Eh? What have we here?" she asked, which drew the attention of those present onto the document. It had landed face up, and was easily readable. Nodoka, Nightmare, Kilik, Maxi, Yunsung, Ivy after she got out from under the pressure cooker known as Akane, Lucia and Belldandy crowded around the document, reading it.

_**MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE.**_

That was what was across the top of the paper, getting a few raised eyebrows in confusion. Not from the title of the document. No, that would make this fic boring as all get if a simple title like that caused confusion. It was the names listed after the title that had earned the look. And before looking down there, remember this is NOT a serious fic. I am bizarre, and so are my fics.

As they watched, the simple piece of paper turned into a holographic display, making the small print big for the group now gawking at what was probably the most bizarre thing they had ever witnessed.

_**HUSBAND: Ranma Saotome (Aqua transsexual, human/god/demon/alien hybrid (File CLASSIFIED))**_

_**Wife One: Nabiki Tendo (Mercenary, human (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Two: Kasumi Tendo (Peacemaker, human (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Three: Ukyo Kuonji (Cook, human/god hybrid (potential unknown) (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Four: Xian Pu A.K.A Shampoo (Cook, Warrior, human/demon hybrid (potential unknown) (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Five: Urd Odinsdotter (Goddess, troublemaker, god/demon hybrid (DANGER! DANGER! File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Six: Peorth Christchild (Goddess, French, goddess (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Seven: Hild Demonsqueen (Demon Overlord, Yin to the Yang, unknown origins (File CLASSIFIED))**_

_**Wife Eight: (Blank until decision is made by husband listed)**_

"Oh, and Tenchi thinks he has it rough," quipped the head in the phone, returning those present to . . . well, the present. People were edging away from Nodoka, who had stars in her eyes and was mumbling about grandchildren. When everybody face vaulted, the signature of the person who authorized such a . . . convoluted thing was seen. And thus began the biggest 'Crouch of the Wild Tiger' in history.

After all, you do NOT insult Kami-sama, no matter how bizarre the situation gets. The Almighty has his reasons for doing something like this. It would take time for them to be known, like if the children of such a large relationship would grow up to pilot giant organic robots or something else as farfetched.

Still, Kami-sama had to drive his point home. So with a small charge in it, he sent forth a lightning bolt.

_ZZAAPP!_

_THUD!_

And the house was quiet for some time to come, since everybody was unconscious. Even Belldandy, who had had an impure thought concerning the . . . arrangement, so the only person that could translate the message accompanying the bolt was out like a light.

_Meanwhile, in Juuban . . ._

"MOON TIARA MAGIC!"

"Jesus Christ, they won't stop!" complained Ranma as he dodged another of those magic attacks. The two who did attempt to physically fight him found nothing but air and on occasion a fiancée with a surprise. Urd, Peorth and Hild were staying out of it, even though they were laughing at the ridiculous outfits the 'Sailor Scouts' were wearing.

"Would you stand still and die already?" quipped one of the brunette attackers, one who did have some skill in the Art. What was her equally ridiculous name again . . . Jupiter? Or Stupider? Bah, unimportant detail. Fight now, if somebody left conscious talk later.

"VENUS LOVE ME CHAIN!"

"Fuck off and die!" returned Ranma, a vein appearing on his forehead. This caused more than a few of the people around him to back off with a sweat drop on the back of their heads. As the chain of hearts came within range, Ranma simply batted it away, ironically tying up the one known as Sailor Moon.

"Enough of this," growled Cassandra, who while laughing internally at the stupidity of the girls attacking the group simply because they had dropped out of warp right next to them, was getting tired of NOT trying to kill the opponent like the old days. She blurred into motion, bowling through these so-called protectors of love and justice.

By a twist of fate, the Scouts had been grouped together after that attack, apparently to try a team attack on somebody since individual attacks weren't working. Ah, but the joys of having a magic user . . .

"Here I go!" shouted Karin, while twisting left to right to left, finishing with her left hand pointed at the Scouts. The magic sensitive people could feel the power of a demon in use, then they saw the effect of said magic. Starting at Karin's feet to the Scouts was what appeared to be rotten bone, one on each side spaced five feet apart. Then the attack hit the Scouts, splitting into ten bones, closing like a trap on all of the Scouts.

"Ouch," groaned a Scout with green hair, who was replaying the attack in her mind. While it was ONE attack, it had hit her and her allies four times. And the evil they felt when the attack hit was unbelievable.

The entire purpose of the attack was to cause damage. However, crickets could be heard chirping once the dust had settled. Well, silence following an "ACK!" sound, usually indicative of a naked or exposed girl in the vicinity of one Ranma Saotome. The entire group of people with Ranma tried their best to ignore the now under clothed Scouts.

"How was I supposed to know that would happen?" nearly cried Karin, who had fallen to her knees. The crests she still carried had apparently been corrupted by the Master of Perverts. The last time she had used the attack, known as Evil Born, it had NOT shredded specific areas of clothing.

"Don't worry about it," said Taki, who had appeared from nowhere, "What counts is that they don't seem to be aware of their predicament yet. They are highly confused about us and our intentions. All we did was defend ourselves when they attacked."

Insert a draft here.

The Scouts looked down, and as one screamed. Not just a scream of embarrassment, but one of bloody murder and sacrilege. After all, Ranma did get a view. When he heard the pitch of the scream, Ranma reengaged the warp drive back to Nerima, making sure to grab his followers . . . and would be followers . . . and general future potential friends . . . ugh, fic outta control! Mayday! She's goin' down!

_Back to Nerima, land of psychos . . ._

The head in the phone was gone, after making sure it was hung up. Of course, because of a certain mental link to a certain insane scientist/goddess, the spatial coordinates of the Tendo house were known. But enough of that, that group will make an appearance later. Better than just a reference, anyway. Unlike the Sailor Scouts, who will NOT ever be appearing again.

Those remaining were busy gawking at the holographic document still present in the living room. Even Soun had no idea that it could do that. Small conversations would burst forth from time to time, interrupting the silence. The noise was quickly shot down by the youngest Tendo daughter, who would growl at anybody who spoke of the . . . contraption that was out to ruin her life. After all, it's always Akane, Akane, Akane!

Not in this fic.

_BLAM_

And that would herald the return of Ranma, King of Weirdness!

_SMASH, OWIE_

Ranma came into the living room at warp seven point five, effectively running over Akane who wouldn't move since she was pissed off at the pig-tailed man. Of course, when he did stop those caught in his wake, arms, hair, and the sisters Tendo attached to his midsection lost their momentum.

_CRASH_

And on top of Akane they fell, creating a massive twelve body pile-up.

The males in the house could only blink-blink, before guffawing on the floor. They had listened to Akane go on and on about how the world was in her orbit for the last thirty minutes, only to have Ranma enter her orbit like an asteroid and crash onto planet Akane, spreading the joys of female to female contact for all to see.

This of course confused Ranma. Even though he had had many offers during the past few years to partake in the pleasures of the female flesh, even with the curse, he had no idea what it would look like . . .

Okay, for those that are thoroughly confused, I will attempt to explain this scene. What we have here is a classic case of thermal expansion coupled with extreme velocities plus no protection from air resistance. Well, three DID have the option to provide said protection but chose not to for entertainment purposes.

Too bad those three just noticed the hologram . . .

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. When traveling at excessive speeds, on a mild day, say around sixty-five degrees Fahrenheit, with no protection from the air, you get static friction. A good example would be opening a car window at seventy miles an hour on the freeway. Imagine if you will, accelerating to a hundred miles an hour. The friction gets worse.

Moving faster than the sound barrier with only the object moving using ki to shield himself from the wind left something to be desired . . . for certain people.

Can we say lack of proper clothing? Yes, we can. While Ranma's ki had created a vacuum, effectively bringing the women with him with no effort, it did not shield them from the wind . . . and thus, we have the solution to our problem in the form of eleven mostly naked women.

"D'OH!" exclaimed Ranma, once he understood what some of the guys at his old school had been talking about with Akane being a lesbian.

Of course, she could have been red from anger, but it was hard to see past Ukyo's bare bottom mere inches from her face. Ooh, look . . . breasts. Lots of exposed breasts, that happen to be very nice indeed.

"That was fun Ranma!" cheered Kasumi, who was on the top of the dog pile . . . thus she missed most of the entire situation.

"Is it drafty in here, or is it just me?" wondered Nabiki, who looked perplexed as to why there was a draft. The walls were intact, except for Ranma's entry point. The doors and windows were shut. Then she felt it when Cassandra moved.

Skin to skin contact, in an area that shouldn't be touched by an unauthorized user. After leaping to the ceiling, which had the effect of scattering the pile of bodies about the living room, Nabiki realized the predicament that was shared amongst them all . . . except for the Goddesses and Demon that were laughing at the scene.

All that laughing stopped immediately when Akane leapt to her feet in righteous anger, battle aura flared to maximum.

"RANMA, YOU PERVERT!" she screamed, charging at him with the Mallet of Doom pulled back for a vicious uppercut. Ranma raised an eyebrow at her, wondering if it was all that bad. Just because the guerilla was jealous of her own sisters for having better looks than her, he wisely thought to avoid the swing. This had the adverse effect of making Akane fall down, since her balance was lost at the lack of contact that was expected.

_THUD!_

As Akane went down, Ranma caught sight of the holographic page displaying his latest course change in life. He felt a magical discharge while reading and rereading the display, and noticed when the women with him had crowded around that they were clothed again.

Eyebrows to the sky! Ranma, Kasumi, Nabiki, Ukyo, Shampoo (who had been mysteriously silent), Cassandra, Taki, Xianghua, Urd, Peorth, Hild and Karin all had at least one eyebrow raised in confusion. Most of them, for seeing a technology that wasn't even dreamed of in their time was part of it. For all of them, it was a multiple marriage authorized by Kami-sama himself that blew their mind.

"Well, this is news to me," quipped Ranma, taking it in stride as usual. That in itself nearly caused a face vault, but the message being read by Urd and Peorth would definitely leave some ripples in the water. They quietly talked to Belldandy and Hild, confirming that what their eyes had told them was indeed there. Not that they had any doubt in Kami-sama, but still when things go off the radar like this it's good to have confirmation.

"Ranma," began Urd, "We have . . . news for you. While we cannot go into excessive detail about this marriage certificate from on high, we have been asked to relay a message to you. It's really more like a greeting, and honestly it confuses me."

Ranma started waving his hands side to side, before he went down in a heap. That's right folks, Akane the Terrible had risen from her position on the floor and clobbered Ranma . . . when he wasn't looking. She had a satisfied smirk on her face, even with death glares coming from various places around the room. Not being dense to the situation, she spoke up.

"Pervert. You just got what you deserved for doing that perverted move and exposing my sisters. I bet Wonderslut over there was going to say that you are going straight to hell for eternity! HA!"

_BAM! THWOK!_

"WRONG!" exclaimed Ranma, after belting Akane while she was off in lala land, fantasizing about being free of the freak. Mind you, he didn't hit her with the force he normally hits things, like Ryoga. He just nudged her, even though it had enough force to launch Akane out the back door and into the koi pond. Looking around at more than a few surprised faces, he elaborated on the situation.

"She hit me while my back was turned," said Ranma, "And now we are even. Although she was looking right at me, in her mind she was on her own world. I have had enough of being walked on by her and that was the last straw. If she was one-one thousandth the martial artist she claims to be, she should have either A.) given me a challenge letter or B.) given me advanced notice as to her attack so I could defend myself. She's gonna end up killing somebody one of these days if she doesn't stop with the smash first ask questions never attitude."

"She really shouldn't have done that," intoned Kasumi, while turning a slight frown at Ranma, "Just the same as you shouldn't have retaliated. Although, it was deserved."

"Ranma," spoke Urd, drawing the conversation back onto herself before some other bizarre thing happened, "Kami-sama sent a message for you. He says 'Welcome to the family son. We shall meet soon'."

TBC

Done at long last. YAY! Now, I know what I'm gonna hear. So, let me say this: I have the anime ONLY. No manga. So I base violent Akane off the anime. And no, I don't like her. She's too spoiled and in fact, her character brought the anime's laugh value down. Scenes without her are funnier than having to watch a different scene with the same result.

Bah, enough rant, I go away now.

Ja Ne!


	25. TGD 5

Disclaimer: I am not in the habit of repeating myself. I make nothing, own nothing, see nothing, hear nothing. Leave my poor soul alone please.

Rant: New writing style: inserting bizarre comments for laugh factor. We'll see if it works or not. Sorry for the delay, life has gone to shit. Feh, that's what makes it life. Note the repairs to all chapters, as well as the only other Shadow Hearts: Covenant fic out there. Mine was posted first, wonder where the idea came from? Eh, FJL? Bah, on with the show!

The Goddess Dilemma, part five.

By: Jim Ohki

"ARGH!" screamed Akane from outside the house after she surfaced in the koi pond. The scream was continuous as she ran inside the house in search of her target, Ranma. However, she was unprepared to find him ignoring her in favor of solving the mystery of the cube.

Immediately after sending the wayward Tendo daughter out the back door into the pond, Ranma had turned around to hear the announcement from Urd. While he had heard her, his line of sight was on something else. Hanging from Karin's neck was a cross that looked like it might be the key to the lock on the cube.

Of course, his gaze was misunderstood since the cross, while on the outside of her shirt, was hanging between Karin's breasts. But before the explosion of the usual misunderstanding could happen, he spoke.

"May I see that?" Ranma asked, indicating the cross. Karin looked down and noticed for the first time that the cross wasn't tucked safely away inside her shirt. Looking back up, seeing Ranma indicate the lock on the cube, spurred her into removing it from her neck.

"Please be careful with it," she said in a quiet tone, "Yuri gave me this cross, and it's all I have left of him."

Nodding in understanding, Ranma held the cross with his index finger and thumb just under the cross tier. While doing that, he turned the cube so that the lock was facing upwards and gently inserted the key. It fit like a glove, and since it was not fully recessed, he was able to attempt to turn it. While trying going to the left had no result, going to the right returned dividends when the lock moved on it's own after a gentle nudge. Making sure not to drop the cube in surprise, he set it down on the floor and stepped back to see what would happen.

It's didn't take long, for once the lock stopped turning the sides opened and folded flat. Nobody present was prepared for when the cube finished opening, a door with no frame appeared in the middle of the living room. Once the shock of that wore off, they heard Karin mumble something about 'familiar' before she stepped up and opened it. Ranma, feeling a sense of dread and foreboding, immediately followed.

Nobody else had the chance to move after that, for once Ranma entered the door it slammed shut.

"Well," said an amused Hild, "that was certainly interesting. Can't wait to see what happens next. Tea anyone?"

"That's my line," whined Kasumi, while she headed into the kitchen to get the tea service.

_-(Beyond the door)-_

"I knew it," declared Karin to her only audience. Both she and Ranma took in the sights of this realm. It was most certainly bleak, with a near constant moaning noise coming from everywhere at once. There were three doors in this 'foyer', each made of stone; one to the left, one straight ahead and the last one to the right. The floor tiles looked like gravestone markers, which unnerved Ranma.

"What is this place?" he wondered, while trying his best to learn how to fly. It was highly unnerving to be walking on the markers of long dead and forgotten people . . . or is that demons? The dialect used on the tombstones was unreadable to Ranma, a long dead language that would take years to translate.

"Yuri called this place the graveyard," answered Karin, noticing that Ranma was extra fidgety in concern to the floor tiles. "How it can exist with him being dead is beyond anything I could think of."

"Karin . . ." whispered a voice from everywhere and nowhere, followed by the sounds of the door straight ahead opening. Both looked up and saw the invitation to enter deeper into the realm. With sidelong glances at each other, both decided to proceed into the next area. This area was a bleak as the last, but only had two doors again made out of stone. Ranma was on full alert after entering this place, since he could now feel a presence. It didn't feel like an evil spirit or anything along those lines. Instead it was more of a sad soul, a warrior's spirit, wanting to get it's last regret out before moving through Valhalla to Einherjar.

The door on the left opened on it's own, and Karin began to get nervous. This was the second time she had entered that door, and she knew what lay beyond . . . a mirror realm, similar to a place visited by Yuri in his travels.

Following immediately behind her, while trying not to look down at the shapely posterior wiggling as she walked, Ranma felt that presence get much stronger. He came even with her after passing through the latest door and the two had a conversation without words. With a simple nod of the head, both headed through the mirror realm.

"Karin . . ." came the voice again, this time much stronger than before. She led the way, with Ranma following close behind, through what looked like an office to a room that was set up for a demonic summoning. Burning candles surrounded a pentagram on the floor, in front of a large mirror. Ranma took his eyes off the mirror for no more than two seconds when he heard Karin gasp. Snapping his head around to look at the mirror again, he saw what had made her gasp.

In the mirror was not their reflection. Standing before them was Yuri Hyuga.

_-(Waking World)-_

The sounds of a jackhammer reverberated throughout the neighborhood as Akane, in a fit of rage and impishness, decided to take it upon herself to remove the door from the middle of the living room. Nobody dared to stop her, as the last attempt resulted in a demolished wall. Not from a person flying through it, but from Akane losing control of the sixty pound hammer.

It danced on autopilot, since Akane had locked the trigger in the 'on' position. Everybody had dove for cover as the contraption that imitated the Baksai Tenketsu waltzed through the couch, the table, Urd's foot, then came to a rest after the debris falling from the wall smacked the trigger.

Akane ignored Urd's blatant abuse of the American language (censored to keep the lower rating), picked up the hammer and started again. The cube and cross had blended in with the floor, creating an impenetrable shield in the process just in case some fool got the wrong idea to attempt removal with somebody inside.

And here we have The Fool, Akane Tendo! Oh look, so pissed off at the failure to beat the door out of her house, she's breaking out explosives.

"GODDAMNIT!" she swore, failing to notice the divine guests twinge at that particular expletive. The Demon Queen, however, was rolling around on the floor moaning in ecstasy since all of the negative emotions coming from one person acted like a hundred fold aphrodisiac.

Of course, Akane the Almighty Fucktard missed that too. Nabiki and Kasumi tried to at least move Hild into a bedroom for privacy reasons, and had found themselves being . . . being . . . found Hild's hands going into places they shouldn't have. Even if they were married, nobody had had the opportunity to discuss that type of contact. Not like either of the elder sisters Tendo would acknowledge that the contact felt good. But I digress, time to give Uber-Bitch more air time.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" shouted Akane, trying to make use of what was left of the couch for shelter. The equivalent of a half-block of C4 detonated, blowing the walls off the lower floor and launching a few people out said missing walls.

"CRAZY BITCH!" screamed the natives, deciding that now would be a good time to retreat and regroup. The group from the past, minus a now unconscious Lucia, figured that now is a good time to do some exploring. Might as well see what has happened since their time passed.

Hild had her seventh orgasm, making what was left of the house shudder and creak in protest to the shear amount of abuse it had received in the last ten minutes.

"War counsel," declared Nabiki, dragging the people from their time, the divine and the one unconscious paperweight into the remarkably untouched dojo. Yes, it's time to give some _NORMAL PEOPLE_ (GASP!) air time.

Once everybody was situated, the glances began. Even though Nabiki had called a war counsel, she seemed to not have violent ideals.

"My kitchen . . ." moaned Kasumi, as she surveyed the damage from the safety of the dojo. A sense of dread, along with a chill, went up, down and sideways across the spinal columns of those present. They followed her gaze, taking note of the refrigerator laying upside-down in the koi pond. Oh look, there's a pot hanging from a tree.

_DUN-DUN-DUN!_

Silence reigned supreme for all of five seconds as the enormity of the destruction was digested by the minds of those looking at the spectacle that was created by the youngest Tendo sister.

"Ho boy," spoke Xian Pu, reminding a few people that she WAS there. "This no good. Kitchen Destroyer destroy whole house. She out of control."

"Really? What was your first clue?" chimed in Ukyo.

The floodgates are open, let the bedlam commence!

The war counsel broke down into two groups of arguments. In one corner, there was the elder sisters, Ukyo and Xian. In-between bickering amongst themselves, they would bat around ideas on how to curtail the untamed beast known as Akane. In another corner on the other end of the dojo was the divine, the demon (who was positively glowing and had been teleported out of the house), and the still out of sorts Lucia. They were having a tough time coming up with ideas since Hild was for Akane to keep going.

All commotion stopped when there was another explosion, followed by swearing, and a cry of "MY HOUSE!"

_-(Graveyard, Mirror Castle)-_

"Karin, we were never met to be," said Yuri, in a flippant Ranma tone. "You knew how I felt about you . . . about Alice . . . and in the end, there was no gain."

Ranma was getting irritated with the fuckstick in the mirror. He now had a rough idea of what others thought of him after watching somebody else talk like that. All he could hear in there was 'me, me, me, me, me'. But since this was not of his doing, Ranma decided to stay quiet for now.

"Yuri," sadly asked Karin, "Did your mother ever show you this picture?"

Both Yuri and Ranma looked at it, read the back, looked at it again, looked at Karin, and suffered mental shutdowns due to overload.

"But . . . but . . . you . . ." stumbled Ranma, pointing from Karin to Yuri and back.

"H-h-h-ow?!" stuttered Yuri, for once at a loss of infuriating things to say.

"I don't know, but time is short," answered Karin. For some odd reason the whole place would shake and rumble from time to time. "Yuri, tell us what we need to know."

It was then that the mirror cracked . . .

-_(Waking World)-_

"SUCCESS!" cheered Akane as the door was chipped. Of course, it had taken a seven pound block of dynamite to do it, but it was progress. Not noticing that Soun had appeared at random to check in on his daughters and son-in-law, she began setting up a small nuclear device to finish the job.

Of course, since this is Akane Tendo, miss 'I-can't-fark-anything-up-even-without-practice', the results of the device wouldn't be known for about . . . ten minutes.

Just before detonation, the door spilled it's contents out in the form of Karin and Ranma. It then faded out of existence, taking the bomb with it. When it did detonate, it did so in subspace.

At just the right frequency to destroy one half of a certain scientist's lab . . .

Back to the present, the Goddesses that were now 'attached' to the mortal plane for some time decided to lend a hand in fixing the house. More to the point, it was Belldandy since she was more in tune with nature and the Wa of any structure.

Of course, Kasumi and her one surviving frying pan had a thing or twenty to say to Akane for such reckless behavior. Nobody wanted to intervene on that since Kasumi would turn the pan on them.

"You're rubbing off on her," stated Nabiki to Ranma, as he watched with total fascination. This Kasumi he could really learn to like. Not the anger that seemed to have surfaced, but the way she moved screamed natural talent in the Art. Begin the mental list in Ranma's mind: one.

"Ranma," said a timid Karin, catching everybody's attention. This woman was too proud to be THAT timid. "Show them."

"Show us what?" questioned Urd, not liking were this was going. Ranma had yet to fully digest the wish into himself yet, which meant that any more 'upgrades' could do significant harm to the young man.

Ranma struck his 'traditional pose for fighting'(®©™), calling upon something deep within. Even the group from the past, that had just walked in the door, froze in shock. After a light show that blinded even the divine for two seconds stood what could only be described as one of the fallen.

Seraphim.

More precisely, Dark Seraphim.

Ranma's features had stayed mostly the same. The only things that changed was his height, nails and hair style. Now towering over everybody at seven foot one, he stood there with his arms crossed daring somebody, anybody to attack. His hair stood on it's own, not unlike an inverted paint brush but more like a spiked do. The ends of his fingers and toes, more precisely the nails, turned into jet black claws. The add-on for this look would be the wings.

Black wings with talons in the joints that allowed the wings to fold in half, with a shorter set coming out of his tailbone area.

"What is thy bidding, my master?" cowed the divine present.

Insert face vault. Especially since Urd being Urd spoke into a metal trash can, creating a Darth Urd voice.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," said Ukyo, not phased in the least by the imposing figure towering over everybody. At least until she took in the last detail. One that was easily missed since there was a crowd blocking a good view of Ranma . . . and his current form's desire to have no clothing on.

"PERVERT!"

"Good, I wanted to test this attack out," spoke Ranma, motioning for Akane to lead the way outside and for anybody who wished to watch to stay the HELL away.

Akane launched into her predictable attack pattern, which was creating sonic booms. Ranma dodged, weaved, smacked her face with a wing, then took to the skies with a simple declaration.

"For the Child . . ."

"SEEK SHELTER!" roared Peorth, as she and her fellow divine set up the strongest shield they could. Even Hild assisted with the shield, awed at the shear amount of power that was now emanating from Ranma. The rest of the women present simply looked up from behind the barrier, and watched as the wings that had formed a cocoon opened and Ranma crossed his arms in an X fashion.

Akane shit herself immediately. She was held in place by some magical force, and could feel the pain coming. Her head was free to move, and she knew when to expect the attack as Ranma opened his arms wide, fists closed. Twin energy charges appeared, one on each fist. He then fired them in her direction, igniting the power build up from below.

_KKKRRROOOOOOMMM!_

And there is one thirty hit attack, with a few surprises installed for extra goodliness. Surprise one: Soun, being himself, had stepped in front of Akane to block the attack. Two: it didn't matter, since this attack was inclusive of all enemies. Three: while it didn't knock either of them out, it did leave an abnormality in the form of a continuing combo. Meaning that the flying chair, courtesy of Nabiki, just added on to the damage already assessed by Ranma/Seraphim.

After watching Soun and Akane fall on top of each other, Ranma landed and reverted back to his normal look. Complete with clothes, much to the disappointment of several of the on-lookers.

"WHAT A RUSH!" he exclaimed, drawing more than one surprised glance in his direction. Seeing the glances, he elaborated. "The Saotome school is aerial based. Now that I have the knowledge on how to do it, I can fly!"

"Great, another ego boost," quipped Nabiki with a smile. Nods all around to that statement left an incredulous Ranma slack-jawed.

"C'mon," he nearly pleaded, "I'm not that bad, am I?"

_THUD!_

"BELL!" shouted the Goddesses, Demon, elder Tendo sisters, and Ranma. Noting that it looked like she was asleep, they moved her inside to a newly repaired couch.

"Not bad," said Kasumi, noting the positions of everything. "Although now I'm gonna have to relearn where everything is. The couch is two inches away from it's old location!"

_THUD!_ Yep, face vault.

"Anyway," said Cassandra, "It's getting late. After all that excitement, we still have no idea on sleeping arrangements."

Insert blinking owlishly for five seconds.

"Grab a seat," ordered Nabiki of those present that would be staying. Meaning everybody other than Nodoka and a still out of it Soun and Akane. She noticed that a large portion of the female populace, including herself, waited for Ranma to pick a spot, which had his back against the front of the couch, then they crowded around him. Bell was shifted into a sleeping while sitting position, making room for Urd on her left and Peorth on her right. Hild adopted the top of the couch back, laying across it in a way that her feet were behind Urd. Kasumi and Nabiki flanked Ranma, the former on his left and the latter on his right. To Kasumi's left sat Xian, while Ukyo sat to the right of Nabiki.

Confused? I know I am, and I have a LONG way to go . . .

Karin elected to remain standing, but she chose to do so behind the couch directly behind Ranma's location. Lucia groaned at the bizarreness of these people and walked outside to chat up Nodoka . . . and probably protect the entry way from Soun and Akane.

The Soul Calibur team sat across from Ranma and his flankers, but the women took the front row. Not in close enough proximity to have legs get tangled, but the quarter moon formation did flow around Ranma. Once everybody was situated, meaning Ranma was in the middle of a sea of women, the glances started. Most were in his direction, like he would have any say in the matter.

Times change, and Ranma is about to get a one-oh-one course in changes.

"What?" he asked of the crowd, noting that the few other men present couldn't decide if they should just bounce out of the house or not.

"Ranma," answered Nabiki, "This house is pretty much yours. Yeah, my father's name is still on it, but it's only a matter of time since he had already declared the schools joined."

"Okay . . ." drawled out the pig-tailed young man. One random thought about water drifted across his mind but was squashed for the current predicament. "Who all is staying here anyway?"

Ooh, bad idea. In the sense of Ranma's back-up, in the form of the few remaining testosterone plants, got up and walked out the back door. He sweated at their response, noting that the number of people present still outnumbered the room count in the house. Even with quadruple bunking, it was going to be tight. And, in his mind anyway, he still had to have a room . . . unless they didn't mind sharing with a short, well-endowed redhead.

"Well, with this," stated Kasumi as she broke out the holy parchment known to Ranma as the _**CERTIFICATE**_, "We are going to have to renovate the house anyway. There is just no possible way to get eight people into _ONE _of the bedrooms."

"KASUMI!" shouted Ranma in surprise, "You're going to go along with -" the rest was cut off by a dozen female hands, not wanting a repeat of the last time somebody questioned Kami-sama.

"She does have a point," said Urd, "we females do need our space. Even if it's only to be temporary, this house is just too small."

"And our magic reserves are just too low," added Peorth, noting that a few of the people present had that look in their eyes.

_Cue the insane laugh!_

"Kodachi?!" shouted the NWC, searching for the insane gymnast. The rest of the females present, including a now wide awake and alert Belldandy, looked all a round the room to find the source of that laugh. To the Goddesses and Demon, a shared thought went through their minds: 'That sound's familiar.'

They didn't have to wait long for the source of the laugh to make a grand entrance. Poppers, confetti, actual fireworks went off in the background as the populace took in the sight of the apparent ten year old girl cackling madly.

"I have found you at last, my new guinea pig!" exclaimed the girl, while attempting to dive into the sea of women to get at the target. Attempted, as in was thwarted by said sea standing up from their spots on the floor creating a humanoid barrier.

"WASHU!" came a male voice from outside, making the girl pause in her attempts to get at Ranma. This of course bought time for everybody to turn their heads in the direction of the front door. There stood a young man, about the same age as Ranma, wearing blue jeans with a polo shirt. Over the shirt was a coat with the Masaki family emblem on the left breast.

"TENCHI!" roared Ranma, barreling out of the prison of female bodies. None too politely to boot, either. In his haste to get to his cousin, his hands had more than once found . . . certain aspects of the female anatomy to touch, squeeze and push.

Instant blushing sea of women! Especially considering that all eyes had been on Ranma when he began his escape to freedom. At least that is what he looked at it as. Suddenly having choices scared Ranma, not that he would admit it. This distraction would be a nice change of pace while he thought.

The cousins met, and immediately took it outside.

Sweat-drops for all, not understanding what it was with Ranma and family members getting together just to beat the shit out of each other. Just image what a family reunion would be like! But still, not wanting to miss out on this little get-together everybody calmly filed out the front door into the yard.

"GOOD!" roared Ranma as he swatted Tenchi's bokken away for the fifth time. Everybody, from both sides, stood to watch the 'sparring' match with jaws on the ground. A large chunk of the reason was that Tenchi, who had kept tabs of his cousin's skill level over the years, was already in the Juraian Battle Armor. Ranma, for a new twist, had his own bokken out and was matching the Juraian Swordplay presented by his cousin.

Meaning over by the van were two Juraian nobles with their eyes narrowed. This pure-bred of Earth should NOT know the techniques unique to the Royal House.

"C'mon Tenchi," goaded Ranma, "Crank it up. I know you can do better than this!"

"All right," responded the other young man, "But this is going to hurt you more than it will me."

"HA! BRING IT!" yelled Ranma, ready for anything. He wasn't ready for Tenchi to jump away, store his bokken, and produce three wings of light in front of his person in the span of two seconds. Two of the three wings pulled back over his body, while the third transformed into a sword. Nothing like breaking out the Light Hawk Armor/Sword.

"PARTY TIME!" roared the Ranma fan club, earning surprised glances from across the yard. That was until they saw Ranma reach inside a subspace storage pocket at produce Excalibur. Then came the next shock as Ranma became Dark Seraphim, twirling the sword around to get a feel for the weight distribution in this form.

"What the hell . . .?!" demanded Tenchi, only to have a clawed hand swish by his head. Those watching could tell that that move was an attention grabber, not actually meant to connect. The combatants squared off, swords at the ready.

The tension in the air had became so thick it could be seen. Ranma and Tenchi eyeballed each other, not letting any of the distractions by either side give the other an opening for attack. Tenchi nearly shit himself when the seven plus foot tall demon across from him smirked and took flight.

"MOVE!" shouted both sides at Tenchi, but he was too riveted by what was happening to actually follow that command. Then the sword that was in the hands of Ranma appeared directly in front of his face, pointed straight down with the flat of the blade facing Tenchi. He finally sprung into action when the sword's eyes opened, with a look of mischief present.

Too late, for Ranma had found a surprise in the subspace pocket and the only way to test it out was to awaken the Judgment Ring.

What the Judgment Ring is, is just that. A ring, with hit and strike areas. The number of these areas depends on how many maximum hits a person can do. For example, in the game, Karin has a four-hit maximum ring while Yuri has a five-hit maximum ring. Some of the rings are spaced nice and even, insuring that the strike areas are selected. Some of the rings are down right disgusting, since the spacing is all wrong.

Now then, the only way to score a 'Ring Perfect' is to hit the strike areas in the ring. There is a secondary level for that, called a 'Ring No-Miss'. That means that the hit areas were selected, or that in trying for a Ring Perfect, the user got too happy and selected too soon. The hit areas are always first, before the strike areas.

What Ranma had found, that could only work on a Judgment Ring was a key. A key that could halt time and allow the Ring to continue around. Of course, the ring was already confused since Ranma's maximum hits could truthfully go into the thousands. So it settled on a ten-hit maximum, plus the key. Power over shear number.

A Seventh Key, allowing the ring to continue up to seven times around with hit/strike area successes. Of course, there was another key in that storage pocket, but Ranma had a feeling he'd better save it for something big. The Eternal Key was a one of a kind item, and it would be foolish to use that up on anything less that Saffron-level opponents.

Once Ranma had used the key, the only way out was to intentionally miss a hit/strike area. He was not known to throw fights, even sparring sessions, and he truthfully shoulda asked Karin about it before experimenting with something like the Ring or the Keys.

To everybody but Ranma, time stopped. Literally, since for the Ring to continue seven times it takes about thirty seconds. Then time resumed, and Ranma charged into Tenchi's space and delivered seventy hits at one-eighth of his normal power. That was still enough to lay his cousin out, and encourage his entourage to attack.

Bedlam has broken out in Nerima again . . .

TBC

DONE! I have caught sight of another SHC/Ranma fic . . . ~_~ YIKES! Is all I have to say about that. Anyway folks, part five is in the books. Part six, along with updates to the other two fics of mine out there will come when I get to it.

Ja Ne!


	26. TGD 6

Disclaimer: See other disclaimers about disclaiming that I disclaim to have anything. Deal with it.

Rant: Several people have apparently missed the point here. Get Ranma get a boost? Yes. Does he know how to use it? _**NO.**_ What good is knowledge in anything if you don't know how to apply it? That and again, this is not a serious fic . . . even though part five felt emotional when I wrote it . . . at least parts of it . . . I have lost my mind . . . Bah, makes this interesting!

For peace of mind, Animes/games/shows/movies used are or will be:

Ranma 1/2

Tenchi Muyo!/TM GXP

Oh! My Goddess

Soul Calibur 2

Shadow Hearts Covenant

Evangelion

Star Wars (Episodes I-VI)

Star Trek (Post Dominion War, Pre-Nemesis)

The Goddess Dilemma, part six

By: Jim Ohki

It was pure bedlam. Ranma found himself in a bad way after having laid his cousin out. His entourage, that consisted mostly of women, didn't take to the idea that Tenchi was just handed his ass. Even though he had returned to his normal state, Ranma was dodging for all he was worth.

Then part of his entourage entered the fray, evening the odds a little bit. Xian and Ukyo came out, weapons swinging. They each caught one of the opposing females off-guard, pulling them off of Ranma. From the house next was the ever quiet ninja Taki, stealthily attacking what many would call a bubble head.

While all of this was happening, the oldest of Tenchi's group had maneuvered himself close to Ranma to truly test his skill. Tenchi had already come to, but appeared to be too dazed to do anything at the moment. The old man himself noted who was fighting who, in what sector of the yard.

Yard (Front Gate): Ukyo Kuonji versus Ryoko Hakubi

Ukyo was not as hard pressed as she feared she would be with this one. Her opponent had gotten sloppy after about a minute of trading blows without much success. Ukyo's Battle Spatula was holding up to the energy sword of Ryoko, mostly because of the sloppiness. They danced back and forth around the area just inside the front gate, neither truly gaining the upper hand.

Yard (Dojo): Xian Pu versus Ayeka Jurai

Ah, the match made in heaven. Nothing like having a young woman with purple hair do battle with a young for her species woman with violet hair. Xian was using her trusty bonbori's while Ayeka was doing something that did earn the attention of Ranma: using her fists. It is little known throughout the galaxy that Ayeka has always been the scrapper of the family. An added bonus was her energy shield, which deflected some of the attacks from Xian that would have connected. Just like the battle at the Front Gate, neither combatant was gaining the upper hand.

Yard (House - backyard entry): Taki versus Mihoshi Kuramitsu

What the hell is this? Mihoshi is still on her feet? Yep, and there's one frustrated Taki to boot. Mihoshi had donned her Galaxy Police battle suit, and was trying to avoid using her gun for such a weird fight like this. Ever thankful that her opponent was only trying for a knockout instead of a fatality, Mihoshi ducked, dodged, and counter-attacked at random. She too had earned the attention of Ranma, as he could tell that once the blonde was focused on something she was damned good at it. Taki on the other hand, was just trying to clock the blonde across from her on the nugget and hopefully lay her out. Again, just like the other two battles, neither were able to gain the upper hand.

Street (Front Gate): Ranma Saotome versus Katsuhito Masaki.

Before being coerced into the street by the old man, Ranma added two more to his mental list. Well, three if he could convince Taki to fight without swords. Filing that away for latter, Ranma took a quick stock of the surroundings before returning the attack of the old man. He noticed the redhead from before talking to a seventeen year old girl. The 'older' girl had twin tails on hair going straight down her back. Noting the current threat level from those two as zero, Ranma focused completely on the man that claimed to be his Grandfather.

Placing Excalibur in subspace, Ranma switched styles back to his most familiar turf . . . beating the snot outta the opponent. Both became blurs of arms, legs, and clashing energy shields. They would separate, stare down the other, then start all over. The other three fights ended in a stalemate, and the combatants from those battles watched the two strongest fighters of the two groups do battle.

Tenchi, being himself, was at the forefront of those watching. He knew he still had things to learn from his Grandfather, but this was ridiculous. So hypnotized by the battle was he that he failed to notice when they moved in his direction.

"That's enough!" declared Ranma, noticing that the fight was about to ensnare the group of worn-out onlookers. The fight instantly stopped, Ranma in his traditional battle stance and Katsuhito in a most bizarre stance. He was twisted at the upper body, with his right arm going under his left leg.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" laughed the NWC and company, not understanding what that stance was supposed to be for. Quite frankly, even the TMC had no idea what that stance was supposed to be. Katsuhito was the only one, and he wasn't about to share his secrets.

"How did you do that?" asked Tenchi of Ranma once they both could get their laughter under control.

"Do what?" responded Ranma, looking confused since that was such a general question.

"All of that!" retorted a despondent Tenchi, wanting to know more about the trials and tribulations that his cousin had undergone since last word had arrived at the shrine. That last word was the last time Genma had sent word to Nodoka, before the Cat Fist training.

"Inside," ordered Nodoka, who had come outside to see what all of the commotion was about. She glanced around at the few neighbors that had stayed put during the melee, and noticed them watching with interest. After all, the resident chaos magnet had yet another upgrade . . . and more family members crawling out of the woodwork.

Once the assembled mass had gotten inside, Ranma plopped down at his original spot and noted with a mix of satisfaction and fear that the women took their original seats as well. This of course left no room even close to Ranma, keeping the Tenchi Masaki Crew at a distance. Nodoka, Lucia, Ivy, her male companions, and a father-daughter pair of groggy Tendos left the house, a sign that Ranma was in charge.

Reality came crashing back to Ranma, as he was having too much fun sparring with rediscovered family. Sleeping arrangements had yet to be made, and with the sun having just set, there was no way that Tenchi or his family could get back to Okayama.

"Okay Ranma," started Tenchi, "Clue me in as to what happened since the last word we received about you was when you were five."

"Five eh?" replied Ranma, knowing exactly what happened when he turned six. 'It must have been before my birthday.' He paused for a few moments, then dived head long into the details of his life. And details it was, nothing was held back since it would either come out when least wanted or somebody else would spill the beans. By the time Ranma had finished, making certain that the details were true to life (read: gory as hell), everybody present and eavesdropping from outside wanted to vomit.

Noboyuki was the first to recover, and extracted a cell phone from his coat. While still green around the gills, he dialed his own parents number. As the remaining folk minus a reflective Ranma were coming around, they caught the sounds of shouting. Not from Tenchi's father, but from the phone. Conveniently held as far away from his ear as possible.

(Due to massive threats, swearing, more threats combined with swearing and graphic death promises, the following section has been censored for the public's sanity.)

"Holy God," mumbled Karin, as she keeled over. This resulted in a domino effect, as when she went down she bumped Hild who fell forward into Urd, Bell and Peorth. They in turn fell into Kasumi, Nabiki, Xian and Ukyo. As the carnage spread, the women of the NWC toppled into not only Cassandra, Taki, Xianghua who's been silent for far too long, but also into Ayeka, Ryoko, Sasami, Washu and finally Tenchi.

Meaning when the dust settled, Ranma was blinking owlishly as the mass of arms and legs around him.

"I need a vacation," deadpanned Ranma to the groaning mass of bodies. That's when he realized in all the excitement that the introductions of Tenchi's followers had not yet been made. Well, everybody had an idea of who Tenchi, Katsuhito and Washu were, but they didn't even know the names of the others.

"Yo Tenchi," he said, "who're your friends?"

"Where to begin?" responded Tenchi. Then he launched into the story of the later part of his life, since before freeing Ryoko was so bland. Like his cousin, Tenchi didn't just gloss over anything. He went into details, thoughts, and feelings to bring his story to life. (At this point, I'm gonna say this: the reader should already _**know**_ the anime of Tenchi Muyo. I don't like repeating what is already known.)

"Wow, that's deep man," sympathized Ranma, "But I guess we have a trade-off. We've both done things that the other hasn't, and probably won't, experience."

"Well, perhaps we could take you up in Ryo-Ohki someday," suggested a mellow Ryoko. Well, perhaps it was the promise rings on the TMC females left hand ring finger that had her mellow.

"Take me up where?" asked Ranma, the meaning of the statement lost on him.

"Up into space," answered Tenchi, seeing where Ryoko was going with her train of thought. Now, anybody that knows anything about Juraians and their ships, plus a thing called 'speaking of' knows that they have a tendency to lurk in subspace. They even have a tendency to lurk in the atmosphere of planets while in subspace. That's why, directly over the soon to be Saotome Dojo, opened a controlled subspace rift as soon as Tenchi said the magic word.

The rift attracted the attention of the residents and the people mingling in the back yard. Since the ones indoors had exited the house via the back door, everybody was gathered to witness the latest event. Two ships descended from the rift. One was plainly obvious to the Juraian Princesses and Princes present.

"Oh no, not the Mikagami," deadpanned Ayeka, drawing looks of confusion from everybody else not already in the Tenchi Masaki Crew.

"Lady Seto!" shouted a happy Sasami. "Maybe she brought Grandma Airi with her!"

"And if she did," warned Tenchi, from a bad experience, "don't call Airi anything remotely related to age."

"Hmmm . . . wonder if that's the Mizuki?" thought Washu out loud to nobody but herself as she eyed to second ship with the Mikagami. Bringing up the Mizuki reminded the TMC about a certain young native of Earth that had a tremendous bad luck streak.

"Somebody want to explain _**this**_ to me?" demanded Ranma while waving his arm in the direction of the ships now hanging over his home. One on one physical issues he could handle. Two apparent warships? Yeah right, not in this or any lifetime. Maybe the smaller of the two, that didn't look like a giant circle with another offset circle sporting the 'face' of a demon. But even then that was a long shot.

All thoughts were put on hold as two groups of people appeared in the yard. One group was obviously from the Mikagami, as the humanoid partner to that ship stood as tall as Ranma. She had green hair that framed her face, giving her the look of evil. Or perhaps it was the grin she was sporting? The type that could even get Ranma to shudder in fear.

The other group was the infamous Seina Yamada and his entourage. It wasn't the usual full house that followed the Earth-born boy around. Missing were Gyokuren, Haruken, Surien and Karen from the Renza Union. They had to make a side trip home.

Those that didn't know Lady Seto, or for that matter anybody that had just appeared from the ships overhead, remained in the background as those that did stepped forward.

"Lady Seto," greeted Ayeka with a bow, ever proper in her manners.

She was shocked when Seto ignored her in favor of the resident chaos magnet. As she breezed through the Masaki family, they were intercepted by Airi.

"So, you must be Ranma Saotome," began Seto, having settled in front of said person. "Tsunami herself didn't do you justice. Come, we must have a talk."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," backpedaled the pigtailed man, "What are you going on about? Who are you?" Those were the first two questions fired off, basically starting the Saotome Brain. Meaning Ranma went into ten thousand rapid fire questions mode, leaving no time in-between them for an answer. The noise of his jet-propelled questions drowned out Airi's reunion with her Grandson and family.

Seto herself looked like Akane right before she produced her Hentai-Mallet. She even lost count on which question Ranma had asked due to the sheer volume of them. She was getting a headache, not good for anybody else around the Devil Princess of Jurai.

"That is enough," was the sound emitted from her mouth, but apparently shields had gone up around Ranma's ears. Those that knew better started backing away, while those that wanted to be on Ranma's good side came closer.

"I said that's enough!" roared Seto, still with no effect. A vein appeared on her forehead, a scowl marring her face. Ranma, with his martial arts training, had yet to pause for air in the last five minutes. He had yet to even break a sweat from using oxygen so fast. Seto turned after getting tapped on the shoulder, to see one of Ranma's friends presenting her with a megaphone. Arching one eyebrow in confusion, she took it and thumbed the switch.

"**HEY! PAY ATTENTION!**" she quite literally hollered directly next to Ranma's ear, although it was greatly amplified by the 'phone. Ranma stopped, looking at Seto like she had lost her mind. High frequency forced feedback emanated from the megaphone, making all present cringe. Seto quickly turned it off, and threw it into a subspace pocket for future use with a certain Emperor.

"That's better," she said.

"HUH? WHATDAYA SAY?" shouted Ranma, trying to get the ringing out of his ears. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! GIMMIE A FEW TO GET THIS NOISE TO STOP!"

_THUD!_

Yep, face vaults abound for everybody present. Ranma, being himself, decided to go raid the fridge since everybody else had decided it was nap time. Meaning by the time the others (and there are a LOT of them) stood back up, he was no where to be found.

"So . . ." began Ukyo, not wanting to incur any wrath from anybody. This started the rounds of introductions again. The Soul Calibur team went first, glossing over their past. Then the duo from Shadow Hearts came next, followed by the Ranma crew, then the O!MG people and finally the new arrivals of GXP.

Ranma had paid attention, noting the evil look from Seto the entire time. He just shrugged it off, the highest insult to be given to Seto Masaki Jurai . . . the _**SNUB**_. It took the efforts of Tenchi, Airi, Katsuhito, Seina and the goliath known as Nightmare to hold her back. Well, all that Nightmare had to do was lift his sword with its crusted blood, not actually touch her.

"I invite you all to the _Mikagami_," declared Seto in an obvious tactical maneuver to get what she wanted.

"I'm there," answered Ranma from somewhere inside the house. "But who all wants to come with?"

_THUD!_

"Well, that was unexpected," deadpanned Tenchi, with a mouth full of dirt. "Though he does bring up a good point."

There was an immediate showing of hands from those on the _**Certificate**_, unsurprisingly. That meant the elder sisters Tendo, Ukyo, Xian, Urd, Peorth and Hild were in. Xianghua, Cassandra and Taki raised their hands after some quick glances. Karin wasn't too far behind them, something compelling her to remain at Ranma's side at all costs. Lucia shook her head in the negative, along with the remainder of the Soul Calibur crew.

Unnoticed by them, Ranma had appeared in the door to the house, giving very slight nods to Seto. She had a very good idea that the pig-tailed martial artist didn't want unwelcome elements screwing around with any aspect of his life. Seto would look at a person with an arm raised, and very subtly look in Ranma's direction.

"We'll follow in the _Mizuki_," stated Tenchi for his and Seina's group, knowing that there was really no choice when it came down to Seto. Ranma shrugged at that, not really caring since he hadn't had the time to bond with Tenchi. As the Juraian equivalent to transporters began moving people from the ground to the two ships, Ranma approached Seto, giving his thanks for a reprieve from the life of Nerima. As the last two on the ground that were going, they both looked around to give any late-comers the opportunity to 'climb aboard'.

Akane, in another fit of impishness, tried to join them before they left the surface of Earth. Ranma shook his head in the negative only once, but it was all Seto had to see.

"Sorry, full up," exclaimed Seto with false cheer, taking Ranma with her. Akane's rage boiled, being denied the chance at redemption . . . or to totally FUBAR the rest of her life, depending on the point of view. She quickly charged her Baka-Mallet, and flung it at the _Mikagami_ as she lifted into the controlled subspace rift. Just before the ship disappeared, the ki-mallet made contact . . .

- _(Onboard the _Mikagami_)_ -

"LADY SETO!" shouted one of the many people on sensors for the second flagship of the Juraian Navy. Second only to _Tsunami_ of course. "Lady Seto, we have a severe disruption of the subspace matrix! Somebody on the ground launched an energy weapon at us, and the sensors say it was life-force type. The rift won't damage Earth, but our exit point is now going to be somewhere _way_ away from Jurai."

"Damn it Akane," muttered Ranma, just loud enough for Seto to hear, "Why do you have to do stupid stuff like this when you don't get your way? I rue the day I met you . . ."

"Send a message to the nearest Juraian ship," began Seto, knowing that the subspace exit was about to close, "The _Mikagami_ and _Mizuki_ were attacked by one Akane Tendo, intentions unknown. Retain for punishment until I return."

"Message away," answered another of the crew, this one on the communications array, "Status: received. Ma'am, the subspace gate has closed, we are cut off from the rest of the galaxy."

"Estimated time to subspace exit?" barked Seto, in full command swing. She had noticed that the _Mizuki_ was still with them, and made preparations for the people on the smaller ship.

"ETA five hours, fifty minutes," came a reply from somewhere.

"Dock the _Mizuki_ with the inner ring and shield her, bring everybody to my private meeting garden," ordered Seto, them led Ranma away from the bridge. They headed to the meeting garden in silence, both thinking about a certain girl on Earth.

One that was in a HEAP of trouble.

Ranma and Seto were the last to arrive, everybody else that was along for the ride had been gathered by the security detachment floating around the interior of the ship. The people that knew him flocked to his side, all attempting to hug Ranma at once. He stared at them with his left eyebrow raised in confusion, but didn't protest. Everybody else associated with Ranma, namely Xianghua, Cassandra and Taki, hovered a little farther back.

Kiriko Masaki, one of Seina's followers, was called upon by Seto for a briefing on their current situation. Not that the present of past Earth people could follow it since a lot of it was technical mumbojumbo, but she was nice enough to break it down to brass tacks for them. Washu gave one of her technical spiels, then 'dumbed' it for everybody else. It all boiled down to the same thing: for the next three hours (yes, the mumbojumbo had eaten THAT much time) they were on course for nobody knows, and would hopefully exit subspace in space, not a star's core.

So, for the remaining time in the trip, people mingled. The Goddesses were having a bit of fun teaming up on Hild, especially since Tsunami made her appearance. Tenchi and Ranma rekindled their friendship at long last, each trading stories that they hadn't when Tenchi had arrived at the Tendo Dojo. The massive, and quite literal, ocean of women surrounding them stayed silent, listening to the two men relate to what the other had gone through.

Seto herself had told them to remain in the meeting garden, then disappeared to some other part of the ship. She had reappeared to herd the mass of bodies toward the bridge, time to exit subspace and figure out where the hell they were.

"SHIELDS! Get the Light Hawk Wings open!" roared Seto as soon as the gate opened.

They had entered a battlefield . . .

- _(Near the Cardassian Border, Bajor System)_ -

Many a battle had been fought recently. From several Borg incursions to the Dominion's xenophobic ways, not to mention the other elements of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants vying for power, people and equipment were in short supply everywhere. Training was being as rushed as it could be, but not so much to have fatal errors occur. Not since the schmuck decided to turn hard port at warp eight and ripped a ship in half. The stardrive section was never found from that one . . .

Even with the shortages, the Federation has managed to persevere through it all. Not that a shortage was going to stop the numerous enemies that had somehow been acquired over the years. Take the Cardassians for example; they had their collective asses handed to them by the Federation Alliance, and their 'partners' the Dominion. But yet, here they were, conducting raids like pirates of yore for raw materials. Most of their shipyards were gone, but that didn't mean squat to them. They had lost too much, including Cardassia Prime, to really give a damn anymore.

Which brings the current situation to light: the Cardassians decided to perform raids of the various cargo ships that went through Deep Space Nine. The Federation, in hopes on quelling the raids on their side of the border, had dispatched the _Enterprise-E_ and two _Akira_-class ships to Bajor . . .

Needless to say, the Cardassians weren't going to go down without a fight. There was even more bad blood present since the Chain Reaction Pulsar was something they had nearly completed before the outbreak of the war . . . only to have it disappear along with all of the research and relevant materials. To hear the Federation had built the _Akira_ around the CRP weapon angered those that remembered the project.

A fight had erupted, most of the Cardassian firepower directed at the _Enterprise_. The _Akira_-class ships, the USS _Denver_ and the USS _Hendrix_, were running interference as best they could without deploying the Pulsar. The weapon technology had been perfected, yes, but the internal targeting system still had a glitch in it.

It would bounce off of _all_ ships in the battle before dissipating into nothing. While the Chain Reaction Pulsar was indeed supposed to bounce off of the enemy ships, gaining strength as it did, it wasn't supposed to find allied ships.

In the midst of the battle opened a subspace anomaly, scaring the life out of both sides. They both backed away from it, fearful of what might emerge.

After all, it did have the signatures of a transwarp conduit exit.

"Analysis, Mr. Data," ordered Captain Picard, noting as usual were every ship was from the battle. While the _Enterprise_ herself was minimally damaged, the _Denver_ was trailing plasma from the port nacelle and the _Hendrix_ was missing a small section of the starboard-fore saucer section. Two of the _Galor_-class vessels hung dead in space, fire reaching into the vacuum. The remaining _Galor_ and the two _Keldon_-class ships were watching with the same trepidation as their enemy.

"Sensors indicate that this rift is artificial in nature, Captain," replied the only surviving member of the Android race. "There is movement within the anomaly, but sensors cannot penetrate the event horizon."

"Helm, back us off other ten thousand kilometers, have the _Denver_ and _Hendrix_ follow our lead," came from Commander Riker, the ever-present and all around best First Officer in the fleet.

"Aye," came from Ensign Slocavich, a recent addition straight from the Academy. She had proven her skills in a roundabout way: even in the Academy, somebody had to run covert ops missions. She had flown and survived several incursions into Dominion/Cardassian space during the war, gathering intelligence that proved useful. That had earned her the literal driver's seat on the flagship.

"Sir, sensors detect a ship emerging," reported a recently returned Worf from tactical. Being an Ambassador clearly wasn't his cup of tea. The good old Klingon motto 'Fight first ask questions after heavy dosages of Bloodwine later' applied to him. The warrior within would not be denied.

"On screen," returned Picard, noting that the Cardassians were assuming attack formations around their wounded ships.

"What in the _hell_ is that?" barked Riker, seeing but not believing that a ship made out of wood was entering realspace. Of course, his wonderment had caused Data and Worf to point every forward sensor at the, for the moment, mystery ship.

The Cardassians, however, weren't in a scientific mindset. Their repairs as complete as they could get, shields sprang up and weapons became hot with hostile intent.

"High energy readings from the unknown vessel, sir," sounded Data from his Ops console. Worf confirmed with a nod of his head, not having to say anything. Whatever had just appeared could obviously shield itself from danger, but the attack power was unknown.

"Sensor readings are muffled by the composition of that ship," continued the android, "but it is indeed made out of a highly compressed wood surrounding a core of some sort."

"You have got to be kidding me," deadpanned Riker as the semi-expected happened. The Cardassians opened fire with little preamble, especially since the ship that had appeared had unintentionally crushed one of the wounded _Galor_'s. A lot of the phaser fire seemed to bend in space.

"Sir, two more ships just appeared," spoke Worf, "One was apparently docked with the first, the second decloaked a thousand meters port of the . . . monstrosity out there. Sensors estimate diameter of the first ship at half a kilometer, the third to be about our size and the second to be the size of a _Defiant_-class vessel."

"Capabilities?" wondered Picard, taking great pleasure in knowing that his senior staff could do their tasks with minimal instruction from him.

"Intensive shielding for the bigger ships, none of the enemy fire is getting through," answered Data, "The smallest one is simply flying too erratic for the Cardassian weapons to maintain a lock. Sir, they are returning fire from hidden weapons ports."

The entire bridge watched as the smallest ship opened fire on a strafing run, using what appeared to be a Multi-Vector Assault mode. At least, the number of shots coming from it gave the illusion. The one the size of a _Sovereign_-class capital ship just hung there, shielding the behemoth behind her with ten wings of light.

Then the biggest one opened fire from no less that three _thousand_ weapons ports across the bow plane, obliterating shields and the three enemy ships in seconds. The one surviving Cardassian ship was still dead in space, and was no threat.

"Definitely analyze the sensor data on those weapons," said Picard after regaining his faculties, clearly making this a top priority. "Include data on their shields."

As Worf and Data began their task at one of the science stations in the back of the bridge, noting that the relief officers were in place, he issued his next command.

"Hail them."

- _(Onboard the _Mikagami_)_ -

"Bring the _Mizuki_ back into the central ring," ordered Seto, "And tell the _Tsunami_ thanks for the assist. Those were highly focused and phased energy weapons. No to mention the torpedoes used."

"Messages received, Lady Seto," was the immediate reply, even though the bridge was in chaos. The flagship of the Juraian Navy had reappeared to save the day, not that the _Mikagami_ couldn't have shielded herself. Just that there were too many shots being fired by the enemy for three Light Hawk Wings to block simultaneously.

"Thank you, Sasami," whispered Tenchi to the Second Princess, succeeding in not drawing unwanted attention to her.

Everybody had taken note of the other ships from the previous battle that had backed off and not engaged. Luck was with them as they had stumbled upon another place -galaxy?- that used Galactic Standard, more commonly known as English.

"Lady, sensors are just barely strong enough to read the markings on the hulls," came from somewhere in the massive command structure. "NCC-1701-E USS _Enterprise_, NCC-751672 USS _Denver_ and NCC-584658 USS _Hendrix_."

"Earth ships?" wondered Tenchi, just loud enough for all to hear. This caused an immediate uproar from all the bodies present, which was quickly quieted by Seto.

"What do you mean, 'Earth ships'?" came the demand, not a request.

"The United States, at least in our time, used the USS designation on their naval vessels," answered Kasumi, who had kept tabs of world affairs throughout her tenure as Substitute Mother of the Decade. After all, before Ranma, she had to have something to do in her down time.

"Ah, so it could just be a tradition handed down through the ages," proposed Amane Kaunaq, Seina's number two GP officer . . . and second wife.

"We are being hailed," came another voice from the direction of communications.

"Open," barked Seto, turning to face the communication window as it appeared.

"_This is Captain Picard of the USS _Enterprise_ to unidentified vessels. We have no hostile intentions and wish to open a dialogue between our peoples._"

Onboard the ship in question, there was a collective dropping of jaws as the situation left all sanity behind. The crew of the _Enterprise_ watched, completely dumbfounded, as what could only be assumed as a bridge fell into disarray. Numerous people tried to cram into the video feed, all speaking at once in utter confusion and panic.

"Mute," ordered Picard, wanting to get opinions from his staff while watching the carnage unfold.

"Is that a _tree_?" demanded Riker instantly while pinching the bridge of his nose, "This is one of the more bizarre things I have ever witnessed." He turned back just in time to see a body go flying from an Aikido toss, crashing into several others.

"They act like Klingons, only with no respect for the command chain," offered Worf, who watched as several of the people knocked down sprung to their feet and produced weapons to attack with.

"There is great confusion and fear over there, and one sense of intense anger that is growing," offered Counselor Deanna Troi, speaking for the first time since encountering these . . . weirdoes. Not the best professional name that could be applied, but the best one that fit the description.

"Anger? Just who over there is getting mad?" wondered Picard with heavy sarcasm, since on the viewer they could see the one with lime green hair had produced a . . . megaphone? "Audio on, twenty-five percent volume."

"_**STOP IT RIGHT NOW!**_" she roared, causing extensive feedback. Several speakers exploded from the overload, sparks rained upon the bridge of the _Enterprise_. And not a shot was fired.

"AAAHHH! MY EARS!" screamed somebody three decks down from the bridge, even though they heard it. Apparently the low frequency forced feedback had resonated off of the hull, and somebody just happened to be in the right spot to be blasted by sound.

"Injury reports coming in from all decks, Captain," came the voice of Dr. Crusher over the intraship communication line. "What the devil is going on up there?" Ah, just more than the one had been sonically attacked unintentionally.

"You tell me and we'll both know," answered Picard in a fit of impishness, much to the surprise of his command staff. He glanced at the viewer, and noticed that the brouhaha had stopped. Mostly because many of the participants were holding their heads in pain. Over one of the few surviving speakers on the bridge came a soft voice.

"_Enterprise_, our delegation would like to come aboard." It was hard to tell who had spoken, but the effects of a sonic weapon such as that apparently didn't phase them for long. Many were moving about, and the guessed leaders of smaller groups were having words with their people. Seeing that they were finally serious enough about the situation, Picard gave his answer.

"Granted."

- _(_Enterprise _briefing room)_ -

It had not taken more than ten minutes to gather the new arrivals to the Alpha Quadrant into the conference room attached to the back of the bridge. Under heavy guard.

Picard and his staff took the port (left) end of the table while the delegation from the Juraian ship _Mikagami_ took the starboard end. Looking out of the windows, they could see the two other Federation ships affecting the best repairs possible outside of spacedock.

". . . and that is our situation." concluded Seto, the 'speaker' for the small assembly. She had allowed only Ranma, Seina and Tenchi to accompany her to the _Enterprise_, since they were the leaders of their respective groups. Of course it had caused an uproar on the _Mikagami_, not that it mattered.

Her ship, her rules. Her airlock too . . .

Picard, Riker, Troi, Worf, Data, Crusher and LaForge were digesting the condensed version of the happenings and causes to their arrival. After all there wasn't much need for the command staff to know of say, Ranma's numerous problems. Some of those problems were also applied to Tenchi and Seina.

MWS, Multiple Wife Syndrome . . . yikes.

"Captain to the bridge," came the voice of Slocavich, right before the red alert klaxons sounded. Everybody present was irked that the meeting had essentially gone nowhere fast, but put that on the shelf in favor of the newest problem.

"Report," said Picard as he walked through the door onto the bridge.

"Transwarp conduit opening, bearing one-five-two mark seven, distance twenty thousand kilometers. Something is emerging . . . it's _gigantic!_" responded Slocavich, a lot of fear in her voice.

Without having to give the order, the viewer was tuned to that location. All present, even on the other ships, had a feeling of grave danger ahead.

The Borg had decided to pay a visit, with a Fusion Cube . . .

TBC

Holy God, done at last. Took me bloody long enough, kept losing my place on this fic. That, and life's been busy. So I shrug my shoulders and keep plugging along. Also, dun flame too hard . . . I'm experimenting with the fic.

For those that don't know what a Fusion Cube is, it is Eight standard or Tactical Cubes melded into a single ship.

Ja Ne!

Bai-Bai!

Pffft, whatever. Hehehehe . . .


	27. TGD 7

You know the disclaimer, I'm not writing one here.

Wharpt: Thanks, now I can add even more insanity. . .

Shinji The Good Sharer: If that was a joke, then ha ha. If not, dun bother reviewing anymore. I feel insulted either way . . . I'm real bad at taking jokes.

Rant: Come on people, catch on! Most of you have caught on that I do _**NOT**_ write serious fics. I simply write what's on my mind, and try to meld it into something. And I do mean I TRY. So what if it comes out bizarre? It gives y'all something, and someONE, to laugh at . . . even though I laugh along with you. _**DEAL WITH IT.**_

The Goddess Dilemma, part seven

By: Jim Ohki.

-_(Universe B - Star Trek year 2379)_-

The small fleet rocked from the fire coming from the Fusion Cube. The _Akira_-class ships tweaked the Chain Reaction Pulsar in the field, and got the targeting system to behave itself. The _Defiant_, NX-74205 (designation unchanged even after production began) appeared from DS9, commanded by Colonel Kira Nerys, lending her firepower to the fray.

The Juraian ships, for some odd reason, were being ignored for the moment. Seto's expression had turned to one of pure rage before leaving _Enterprise_, and the only other sentient that knew what was going on was her ship. Apparently, having ships made out of a highly compressed wood with an undetectable subspace matrix returned dividends.

All present on the bridge of the _Mikagami_ watched as the four Federation ships traded fire with the combined might of eight, surprisingly in a stalemate. Phaser fire and torpedo variants flashed back and forth between the ships, flashing against shields or continuing on into the nothing.

"Lady, telemetry from _Enterprise_ shows that the Transwarp Conduit is still open," reported one of the many faceless in the multiverses with space faring ships.

"Anything come through?" asked Seto, turning to see the Conduit on one of the many monitors that had opened.

"Negative, although even our sensors cannot penetrate the event horizon."

While this was going on, Ranma, Seina and Tenchi gathered their respective groups for a powwow. The three males stood, severely outnumbered, before the throng of females waiting with some anxiety as to what they could want.

"Damn, how I wished Fuku along with Gyokuren, Haruken, Surien and Karen were here," remarked Seina, earning nods from his group. Of all the times that Fuku and the others had to made a side trip to the Renza Union, it would have to be when they were needed most. Not that _Mizuki_ couldn't handle what was thrown at her, it's just that the tree-core was so young.

"No kidding," quipped Amane, "The _Kamidake_ would be perfect in this situation."

"Maybe not perfect," countered Tenchi, breaking into the conversation, "_Tsunami_ is warning us about something, but even Sasami is confused by what she is saying."

"Tsunami the ship or the Patron Goddess?" inquired Urd, confused since no distinction was made. That, and she didn't know that they were one in the same.

"Both," replied Sasami/Tsunami, reminding those few that had forgotten that she _was_ there. While the assimilation had been completed two years previous, Tsunami still kept some of the greater secrets of the Universes to herself.

"Weapons analyses," demanded Seto's voice as it wafted across the now silent and contemplating group in the back of the bridge.

"Why aren't we helping them?" wondered Mihoshi, her training as a GP officer playing havoc with her conscience. That and she was beginning to miss her ship, _Yukinojo_.

"We could alter the timeline more than it already has been," assured Tenchi, "This is, from what I've overheard, a great event in this universe. If we assisted either side, we may pick the wrong side and cause massive amounts of chaos." This earned a nod from Washu, proud that her student had in fact learned something.

"Chaos eh?" voiced Ranma, "One of my specialties. Somebody gimmie a ship with enough firepower and watch what I do."

_THUD!_

In the silence from the face vault, the answer to Seto's inquiry finally came through.

"All but the _Defiant_ are using highly charged phasic energy beams. The _Defiant_ is using a rapid fire variant of that weapon, and all but the _Enterprise_ are using matter/antimatter torpedoes that leave a photonic disruption on the enemy shields. _Enterprise_ is using a quantum variant, leaving minute quantum singularities on the shields." came from the faceless, followed by, "The phasic energy beam frequencies keep changing, Lady Seto. Sensors read an adaptability subroutine in place on the Borg vessel."

"Multiple vessels approaching at faster than light speeds, Lady!" shouted another faceless (gotta love these guys). "Beacons are transmitting on the same frequency as the Federation ships fighting that Fusion Cube."

The large group in the back of the bridge decided to halt all conversation while the battle took place. Watching on the vidscreens, they saw six more ships revert to sublight speed. All were clearly Federation in design.

"USS _Lexington_, NCC-14427, vessel type unknown. USS _Colorado_, NCC-25541, vessel type unknown. USS _Centaur_, NCC-54567 and _Minotaur_, NCC-58761, both are _Akira_-class cruisers. USS _Valhalla_, NCC-35587, vessel type unknown. USS _Prometheus_, NX-59650, vessel type unknown."

"NX?" wondered Ayeka, "That sounds like a possible prototype designation to me."

"You gotta be kidding me," deadpanned Ryoko, veteran of many a battle, "Why would they bring out an experimental toy?"

"Looks like she's seen battle to me," stated Seina, getting nods of agreement from most of the others present.

"Ma'am," said . . . ah, who cares? These guys slave away in the pit and are happy for any airtime. "_Enterprise_ was nice enough to tell us what the new arrivals are. The _Lexington_ is of the _Excelsior_-class, the _Colorado_ is a _Nebula_, the _Valhalla_ is a _Galaxy_, and the _Prometheus_ is . . . the first of her class."

"They _DID_ bring a new toy!" cheered Mihoshi, "I wonder if they'll let me play with it?"

_THUD!_

From their positions on the floor, they watched the new arrivals open fire with their weapons. The _Lexington_ was using the basic phaser/photon torpedo, the _Colorado_ had her Point Defense Laser going, destroying Borg torpedoes left and right. The _Valhalla_ used an older tactic, launching a barrage of antimatter bombs at the Cube with her standard weapons combination.

The _Prometheus_ broke apart into three ships, bringing the Multi-Vector Assault mode into the fray. The two Akira's added more Chain Reaction Pulsars to the mix. Nine Federation ships versus the enormous bulk of one Borg Fusion Cube.

"Amazing," spoke Washu, breaking the silence while watching the goings on with her HoloTop©®Ô. "Their ship designs are on par with the Galaxy Police. The capital ships hang farther back, bombarding the enemy with their firepower. The cruisers flitter about, running interference for the heavy artillery. The destroyers get up close and personal, dishing out as much, if not more, than they take."

"NEW SHIP DETECTED!" came from the pit.

"Where did that new vessel come from?" demanded Seto, watching everything going on including the still open Transwarp Conduit.

"Not from the Conduit, must have a cloaking device . . . the Federation ships are retreating at high sublight speeds . . ."

"MOVE!" roared Seto, urging her ship to do the same.

"SUBSPACE SHOCKWAVE DETECTED!" All hell broke loose as the _Mikagami_ turned into the 'wave', quite literally being shoved across the system. Everybody lost their footing as the ship tilted fore-port, then fore-starboard and finally aft-port. Systems overloaded, power fluctuated, and lights flickered. Juraian ships weren't built to encounter subspace shockwaves like this. Nobody, except Washu, would even dream of using a subspace weapon of such power. And even _she_ had her limits.

"C'mon baby, _fly_," muttered Sasami, thankful that _Tsunami_ had the opportunity to move away before the shockwave reached their position. It gave her ship the chance to assist the badly injured _Mikagami_.

"Get us behind the Federation line!" ordered Seto, begging her wounded ship to keep moving. The situation went from bad to worse when life support was shut down in favor of engines and structural integrity. Seto gave her next, and she hoped _temporary_, order.

"All hands abandon ship; all hands abandon ship. Command to _Tsunami_, crew to lifeboats for pick up by _Mizuki_. This is not a drill."

Yes, dear reader, the _Mikagami_ was dying. Quickly to boot. It had taken the reassurance of her bondmate before Seto even gave the order. The minimal gain mode available would greatly help her heal, but all systems would have to be shut down in order for it to work.

"Let's go," barked Ranma after getting everybody in the back of the bridge to their feet. They, minus Kiriko who went to the _Mizuki_, disappeared to the _Tsunami_, then the crew fled in the 'boats. Seto was alone on her bridge for a few moments, tears streaming down her face.

"I know," she said before being transported out by _Tsunami_. Once on board, the screens showed the _Mikagami_ go into a self-preservation mode. Having the mother of the tree-ships with them turned out to be a good thing since Tsunami could feed her power.

"Sorry Seto, my ship, my command," apologized Sasami/Tsunami, before tractoring the _Mikagami_. As the only one needed for shipboard operations, there was silence as she set to work. The two functional Juraian ships slowly made their way towards the Federation ships, a communication hail already going out.

-_(Onboard_ Enterprise_)_-

"Of all the stupid . . ." ranted Picard, thoroughly annoyed at the Klingons for deploying a _Jach'Eng_-class ship on a suicide mission. The ship itself was lost when she created the subspace shockwave. The Borg Fusion Cube was heavily damaged but not destroyed, and the _Minotaur_ was lost after the Borg got in a lucky shot on the port nacelle.

"We are being hailed," reported Worf, "The Juraians are upset at the heavy damage done to their capital ship."

"On screen," ordered Riker, seeing Picard was not in the mood for this. The viewscreen came to life, showing a vastly different interior than the last one they had seen. While the first was bright and full of life, this one seemed dim and appeared to go on forever. Before the captain of this one, identifying herself as _Tsunami_ could speak, the leader of the entire assembly spoke up.

"Who may have killed my ship?"

-_(Universe A, Ranma year 2005)_-

Backing off from the serious feel of that timeline, we look into the home dimension to see what chaos has occurred since the attack on the _Mikagami_ . . .

Jurai was out for blood, Emperor Azusa Masaki Jurai having bum rushed Galaxy Police Marshal Anderson Kuramitsu's (see note at end on this one) office. And what wonderful timing he had, since Mikami and Mitoto Kuramitsu, aunt and mother to Mihoshi respectively, got wind of the events on Earth. They joined the side of the Juraians, livid at the thought of a crime such as this going unpunished simply because an Earthling didn't know better.

Then the Renza Union found out that their hero, Seina, was attacked by a hot tempered wannabe-lesbian on his homeworld, and that both the _Mikagami_ and _Mizuki_ had not been heard from since. The _Kamidake II_ was already making tracks at better than best speed to Earth, the quintet of Gyokuren, Haruken, Surien, Karen along with Fuku all hot under the collar at the audacity of the attack.

Akane was quickly hogtied by those remaining, simply because Airi was a force a nature when motivated. And right now, she was _motivated_. The Galaxy at large was falling into chaos, just about everybody demanding blood. Even the now-pirate Seiryo Tennan was outraged, threatening to run the GP blockade of Earth to get at the one that hurt his dear Amane. Of course, he got belted by Komachi for forgetting she was there.

Several ships appeared just beyond the moon at the same time. One was the _Kamidake II_, another was _Yukinojo_ freshly returned from his mothership. A small flotilla of Juraian ships, including the three of Azusa, Misaki and Funaho.

Oh, and the _Unko_. Can't forget that wonderful piece of technology.

The infighting, both in space and on the ground, started almost immediately. Everybody was tripping over everybody else for the chance to, not literally, hang the one responsible for this debacle.

"LET ME GO!" demanded Akane, as those that had stayed behind watched the goings on with the best invention ever. Television, that wonder of science, had every channel clogged in favor of what was happening in orbit. She had a feeling that certain doom awaited her if she remained bound hand and foot.

"Not a chance," retorted Nodoka, still fuming over the latest in the long line of stupidity that followed the youngest Tendo around. Soun, in another rare display of spine, refused to bow and scrape before Akane. He even went so far as to threaten her with her own cooking.

The house started to vibrate from the exhaust noise of an approaching ship. All present shuffled outside, making sure to drag Akane with, to see who had descended upon the humble abode.

Airi looked lost at the ship design, it definitely wasn't GP, Pirate, Juraian or Renzan. So just who could have snuck in? It did partially remind her of _Soja_, but that ship was destroyed by Tenchi.

All present were shocked when a disembodied head appeared before them, making a few with weaker wills fall to one knee. The rest took on semi-aggressive stances, mainly the remainder of the Nerima Wrecking Crew.

"Lady Tokimi wants a word with . . . her," spat the head in Akane's general direction with no preamble.

"She's free?" wondered a pale Airi, legends being remembered from her childhood of the third Goddess of Jurai. None of those legends were pretty, but then again it had been twenty thousand years plus since the events happened. Truth turned to legend turned to myth and were forgotten over time.

"Her seal was released by Kami-sama," replied the head, still having yet to introduce himself. "Even the great God himself is . . . agitated with this one."

"Yes," came a female voice from behind and to the left of the head. "D3 here is correct. The highest orders of the Yggdrasil system are outraged at the actions of this one. I have been released for one purpose: Akane Tendo is hereby summoned before Him."

-_(Universe B, Star Trek year 2379)_-

The Federation fleet, after regrouping, quickly finished off the Fusion Cube. The Subspace Shockwave weapon had done its job and dissipated. Unfortunately, that meant that some allied ships were damaged or lost completely. The USS _Minotaur_ had no survivors, the _Colorado_ had holes galore in the saucer section, the _Valhalla_ had a cracked starboard warp nacelle pylon, rendering her unsafe for anything faster than full impulse. The _Lexington_, _Prometheus_, _Defiant_, _Centaur_, _Denver_, _Hendrix_, and _Enterprise_-E had the standard scorch marks of a fierce battle.

Oh, and the _Mikagami_ was lost.

Those native to the universe were actually confused for the briefest of moments. _Tsunami_ was tractoring the heavily damaged ship behind friendly lines when one section of the Cube came to life and lashed out with weapons at anything that moved. _Tsunami_ and _Mizuki_ were able to defend themselves, but not _Mikagami_. If it hadn't been for both the quick thinking of Tsunami herself as well as Seto's bondmate, the backlash of power would have in fact killed the Devil Princess of Jurai. The confusion came from this; they couldn't tell what actually caused the ships to vibrate, if it was the Fusion Cube exploding or Seto screaming.

This leads to the next situation. The interrupted meeting had resumed while the fleet limped to _Deep Space Nine_ for any repairs possible.

"How is she?" asked Riker of anybody from the Juraian ships that knew.

"She is alive, barely, thanks to the quick thinking of Tsunami," said the now in charge Tenchi. Ranma wasn't technically part of that group (read: couldn't keep up with half of the mumbojumbo), and Seina had his hands full with the despondent crew of the _Mikagami_. Losing the ship was bad enough, nearly losing Seto caused great depression and anger amongst the crew.

"What exactly did she do?" inquired Doctor Crusher, curious since Seto herself was still aboard _Tsunami_.

"This is complicated," replied Tenchi before launching into the background of the space-trees and their bonds with the 'Captain' chosen by them. He explained in detail how the trees were all offspring of Tsunami, hence tapping into her power. It was a simple, a term used loosely, case of removing the medium of _Mikagami_ and allowing Seto to tap directly into Tsunami.

"Amazing," commented Troi, "that these trees are sentient. So what you're saying is that Tsunami, the 'mother' of the trees, is the only thing keeping Seto alive. Just how old is Seto, anyway?"

"That is the number two guarded secret of Jurai," spoke Kiriko, drawing all attention onto herself. She was better acquainted with the politics than Tenchi, mostly because she was at the front lines of more than a few of Seto's campaigns. "The only other person that might know is not here. That would be Second Queen Misaki Jurai. Scuttlebutt around Galaxy Police headquarters has Seto somewhere around twenty-five thousand Earth years old."

Jaws dropped all around, even with those that came from that universe. It really wouldn't surprise Tenchi or any of his followers since Washu could only remember the past twenty thousand, and getting that information out of the Queen was impossible. Never mind that she wasn't in that universe.

"Such is the power of Tsunami," voiced an awed Tenchi, drawing everybody back to the present. After an internal debate, he continued on. "This is not to leave this room. Seven hundred plus years ago, Ryoko Hakubi attacked Jurai itself. Sasami, little sister to Ayeka and second Princess, was in the Royal Tree Arboretum when a ship impacted against the side of the building. She fell to the bottom, and would have died if it weren't for Tsunami. Sasami had the fortune in such an accident to have fallen next to Tsunami's tree. In, what I found out later, was her first act of compassion in twenty thousand plus years, Tsunami saved Sasami by assimilating with her. The Sasami you have met is her, both the Second Princess and Tsunami, youngest of the Three Juraian Goddesses."

"Three? Who are the other two?" wondered Riker after sharing a glance with a so far silent Picard.

"One you have already met, but she chooses the simple life," answered Tenchi, "Washu. The oldest of the three, she 'gave' up her post around the same time that Tsunami went into a self-imposed exile. Tokimi, the middle, was imprisoned for something that neither will tell me. All I know is that Tsunami and Washu sent her to the hypothetical eleventh dimension."

"Eleventh dimension?" asked Data, speaking up for the first time.

"Talk to Washu if you get the chance," responded Tenchi, effectively cutting that line of questioning off. He had a hard enough time grasping anything beyond the fourth dimension, time.

"Ladies and gentlemen," spoke Picard, truly starting the meeting, "There will be plenty of time for that later. Status of your ships?"

"Both the _Tsunami_ and _Mizuki_ are fully functional," reported Kiriko, the one designated to handle the limited resources they had. "The only ship that had a crew was the _Mikagami_, and that was due to her size. My ship, _Mizuki_, only requires me for operations. _Tsunami_ is captained by herself, or Sasami as she prefers and also does not require a crew."

"How is the crew of the _Mikagami_ reacting to the loss of their ship and near death of Seto?" asked Troi, swinging into full professional counselor mode.

"Not well," came from Seina via the monitor on the starboard wall. The background was vaguely of a mess hall onboard _Tsunami_. He had chosen to remain silent until spoken to due to something similar to Ranma's 'FIMD' - Foot In Mouth Disease. Only his was his luck, and jinxing himself whenever he spoke. "They are in a state of shock. The news that Seto is still alive has boosted morale over here, but not by much. For the reason behind that, well . . . the only other Juraian ship that needs a crew is the Emperor's."

"I bet," intoned Ranma, knowing full well what it felt like to go from bad to worse. At least the Devil Princess of Jurai kept her crew happy. Azusa was an unknown, but from what he'd heard of the man, it was better to work for Washu when she was in one of her 'moods'.

One of her _BAD_ moods.

"Even _I_ can sympathize with them there," stated Picard, knowing what it was like to go from the status quo with one Captain to another that had a completely different style. Then of course, once he reached Captain himself, were the Admirals and their bizarre structure.

"What about that 'transwarp conduit' ?" asked Ranma out of the blue, surprising those that knew him. It showed that he paid attention to his surroundings when he wanted to.

"We do not know why it is still open," replied Data, "However, it is in the same location as the subspace anomaly that admitted you to this universe."

"That might be our way home then," supplied Kiriko, noting that those that had come along for the ride had hope in their eyes. Washu was of course trying to sort through the Multi-verse, looking for their own, but even someone like her was going to have a hard time. The Multi-verse, in all of its glory, is quite literally _INFINITE_.

"It could be that whatever brought you here is keeping the conduit open," hypothesized Data, head cocked to the left in thought. With LaForge, and for that matter just about _every_ engineer in their small fleet, needed for repairs on the more heavily damaged ships, Data had to fill both roles. "However, the only way to know for certain is to launch a probe into the conduit and see what telemetry we get from the other end."

"Quantum signatures," blurted Riker, earning confused looks all around. "We have encountered problems like this before, and discovered that each individual universe has its own quantum signature."

"So it would be more of a simple matter to scan our signature, program it into the probe, and see if they match?" wondered Seina, keeping his voice low to prevent unwanted attention. No sense in changing the status quo of the moods if this didn't work.

"It could very well work," agreed Data after some number crunching on his part. Picard didn't waste time, since it would be nice to know where that conduit went.

"Picard to Slocavich."

"Slocavich here, sir," she replied from her position at helm. She, and the rest of the bridge crew, wondered just why the Captain was calling her personally.

"Inform the fleet that we will be returning to the Transwarp Conduit. Set course and engage at full impulse."

"Aye, sir," she replied, then did as instructed. The _Enterprise_ swung around, quickly followed by the two Juraian ships. There was no protest from the other ship Captains, since Picard was the Senior Captain amongst them.

-_(Universe A, Ranma year 2005)_-

"OH MY!" exclaimed Akane in her best Kasumi impersonation. The greatest shock of her life was just handed to her in the form of a summons from the Almighty. Of course this created several dozen differing reactions. Some were as dumbstruck as Akane, some were cheering a possible divine punishment, some were scowling at the youngest Tendo, angry with her antics. Others were outraged, feeling that their chance for revenge was about to slip through their grasp. Tumult broke out as the groups, as well as the individuals, tried to come to an agreement about what to do.

With their weapons of choice.

Lucia and the remaining Soul Calibur crew backed away, with Akane, as the fighting started. Tokimi, D3, and their ship disappeared also, leaving the rest to battle it out. With the summons of Kami-sama on their minds, they all agreed to beat the shit out of each other, rather than kill themselves. As advanced weapons, set on stun, flittered about, nobody noticed the minute opening to subspace that marked the last entry point of the _Mikagami_ and the _Mizuki_.

Unnoticed, that is, until a stray bolt struck the opening. While nowhere near the power class to open a rift on its own, the weapon had somehow reenergized the previous one. This brought the fighting to a stop instantly, as the gateway was a symbol of hope. Sensors read it as a stable Juraian subspace exit, so there was no fear of it collapsing into say, a black hole.

Even though the Renzan wives of Seina were 'manning' the systems, the ship was still controlled by Fuku. And the cabbit wanted to see Seina again. Thus it came as a bit of a surprise to everybody else when the _Kamidake II_ dove headfirst into the gate, disappearing to wherever the others had gone. The gate remained open, again surprising those that knew better. _Yukinojo_ didn't want to be left behind, so he to followed the cabbit into the rabbit hole (pun intended).

Weapons were cooled, and the delegation of the galaxy out for blood sat back to see what would happen, what news would be brought when the _Kamidake II and Yukinojo_ returned. Akane dared to breathe, which got the attention of those on the ground. The were upon her instantly, demanding to know what she knew.

Especially about the one Seto was sent to retrieve, Ranma Saotome. So, in a panic, she told them everything she knew. Including her treatment of him.

The only thing that saved her was the constant reminder that Kami-sama, Tsunami's FATHER, wanted a word with this impudent worm. That, and with Hild gone, Death had taken his long overdue vacation. He would be back in three weeks, to find a massive backlog on one person.

Whoa, must have pissed of a deity or seventy to get that kind of response. Good thing for Akane Tendo that Kami-sama had sent an order of suspension on her demise . . .

-_(Universe B, Star Trek year 2379)_-

The _Enterprise_, _Mizuki_, and _Tsunami_ came to a full stop twenty thousand kilometers away from the transwarp conduit. Washu had been informed of the quantum signatures and after a bout of 'Why didn't _I_ think of that?', had set up all of the equipment necessary to locate their home dimension. _Enterprise_ launched a class five probe into the conduit, and the waiting game began. They didn't have to wait long.

Not five minutes after the probe was launched, the sensors on the three ships went berserk.

"Report!" barked Picard, having stood up from his chair.

"Movement within the conduit, sir," answered Worf, "It is not the probe nor does it contain any Borg signatures . . . something is emerging!"

On the viewscreens of the three ships appeared two new arrivals, both easily recognized by those that knew the designs. One, created by Washu, was the funky-looking but all powerful _Kamidake II_. The other, one that Washu had repaired numerous times due to pilot error, was _Yukinojo_. Communications sprang forth, especially in the direction of _Tsunami_. With the _Mikagami_ gone, Sasami was now the fleet captain. At least, one with the rank to back it up. Not that Kiriko would have made a power play, she was content with simply following orders.

"Where is our probe?" demanded Riker, taking note of all the chatter between the reinforcements that the Juraians had just received

"Telemetry has the probe on the other end of this 'wormhole'," replied Worf, taking note of what information the probe was sending back. "There is an instability on the other end, it will collapse within the hour."

"What caused the instability?" broke in Yukinojo, AI for the ship of the same name. "It was stable when we entered it."

The bridge crew of _Enterprise_ looked baffled at how that ship's computer could suddenly break into their conversation. After all, they weren't talking to anybody else yet. Not that it mattered now since the other three ships began bombarding the Federation flagship with hails. Washu, as usual, was the first to find out what had happened in their universe.

"You have got to be kidding me," she remarked while breaking into the broken into communication frequency, earning more baffled looks from around the bridge. "If I didn't know better, I would say this was the work of Tokimi."

"That's not possible!" exclaimed Tsunami, breaking into the broke into broken into conversation. Whoa, me getting confused . . .

"But it is," said Gyokuren, breaking in on the busted into broke into broken into conversation. _SWILRY EYES!_

"Stop doing that!" demanded Picard, getting dizzy and freaked out by the open book that was the communication array of the _Enterprise_. He wondered if there were going to be anymore people 'popping' in on this one. Fortunately for him -us-, no.

"What do you mean, it's true?" asked a wide-eyed Washu, ignoring the outburst as stress. The viewscreen shifted to allow the _Kamidake II_ the biggest portion. It just made it easier to see who was speaking.

"According to her," answered Haruken, "and I quote 'Kami-sama released the seal'. Just who is this Kami-sama anyway?"

_POOF_

The bridge of the Enterprise became instantly crowded as Urd, Peorth and Hild appeared. Their expressions were one of panic, but control was also evident. They hadn't broken out anything that could repel Tokimi yet, wanting to make certain that this was official. That, and with no word from Yggdrasil, they really couldn't make any moves. Never know about orders, after all.

"What is so special about this Tokimi?" wondered Picard, forcing the stress of this situation out since the antics of these people reminded him of something. It was on the tip of his memory, but refused to come out.

Silence was the answer, as the Goddesses present started looking around and fidgeting. Even the ones on the viewscreen appeared apprehensive at answering that question. The lack of noise stretched on for nearly ten minutes before Washu spoke again.

"That instability is getting worse," she said, "Time to collapse is now at ten minutes."

"This is gonna be close," came Seina's voice, "We have recovered eighty percent of the remains of _Mikagami_, all of it core material. But there are still large pieces of the outer hull floating around."

Onboard _Tsunami_, nearly all eyes had fallen to Tenchi, Seina, and a quiet Ranma. Well, he was being quiet since this type of situation was completely out of his league. The trio was bombarded by questions filled with panic. The salvage operation was not complete, the apparent only was home was getting closer to closing, and now they had two extra ships that could become liabilities.

"Whatever we are going to do," said Washu with all seriousness in her tone, "we had better do it soon."

The pressure was on the 'in charge' trio, and time was running short. They huddled together for a few moments, then made their decision.

"Between going home now, leaving technology behind, or trying to minimize our impact on the timeline here," spoke Tenchi to all that were listening, either right by him or on communications, "we have no choice but to finish our clean-up. We cannot contaminate this timeline more so than it already has been."

"I am summoning help," announced Seina, calling for his bondmate, _Idol_.

"Might as well sent _Yukinojo_ back with news from our side," suggested Mihoshi, knowing full well that her ship was more of a liability since the Light Hawk Wings were proven to be more effective against the weapons of this universe. She quickly vanished to her ship to give 'him' instructions to execute upon his return to their universe.

"This is a good idea," intoned Tsunami, having just appeared from the medical bay, "Seto is too unstable for a universal jump such as this. Until such time that I can create a new bondmate for her, we shouldn't leave this plane."

-_(Universe A, Ranma year 2005)_-

In the most secret research facility available to both the Juraian government and the Galaxy Police rested the greatest find by anybody. That find being a billion plus year old mecha, with a first generation Royal Tree seed as the core. This mecha, codenamed _Idol_, had chosen its bondmate in the Earthling Seina Yamada. It wouldn't come to light until two days before the massive wedding behind the moon that Seina was Katsuhito's grandnephew, thus making him third in line for the Throne of Jurai.

As the researchers flittered about, doing what they do best, the mecha growled. That would be the only indication that the systems had come online due to a summons. Those on or near the mecha fled as quickly as possible before _Idol_ stood up and teleported out to Earth . . .

The Tendo compound was swarmed instantly by the JSSDF, UN troops, media personnel, onlookers, peddlers, and just about every type of Curious George in the neighborhood. The subspace gateway had been fluctuating for the past fifteen minutes, and it kept getting worse. Those on the ground wisely retreated to what was deemed a 'safer' location.

"I'll be good just let me go," cried Akane, still bound hand and foot for her FUBAR of the century. While ignored in favor of the current situation, Akane just had to remind those around her about her role in this entire mess.

"Why are you still talking?" demanded Airi, who was NOT having such a great day. Mikami had made her appearance, with orders from the Juraians to hold the one responsible. That was easier said than done, however, since a few of the locals would make attempts at random to 'rescue' Akane from the 'vicious plot of Saotome', whatever the hell that meant.

"The probe that came through," started Mikami as she read the sensor readouts, "It matches nothing in our databank, yet it is on par with our technology. There is an active transponder signal heading into the subspace gateway, sending telemetry back to whoever sent it."

"Ma'am, we have movement within the gateway," spoke another one of those faceless people, "It's _Yukinojo_, and he's broadcasting on an emergency frequency."

On the ground and in space vidscreens activated to find out what the great emergency was. Many scenarios ran through the minds of the higher ups, but nothing could prepare them for what was said.

"I bring grave news. _Mikagami_ was destroyed by an unknown race in the universe that they arrived in. Seto is alive, but barely, onboard _Tsunami_ and cannot make the return trip home at the moment. The crew survived with minimal injuries and have returned onboard myself. The others have elected to remain in the other universe until Seto is well enough for travel. I repeat . . ."

_BOOM!_ Instant bedlam, the Juraians flew through the roof. A majority of the GP officers sagged to the ground. That wonderful pirate ship was in an uproar. As news spread across the galaxy of the loss of the _Mikagami_, tensions disappeared. After all, Seto had kept the peace for the longest time among those races that had many a disagreement. Thus they were in no mood to re-ignite old feuds when something much bigger was happening.

Then the shock began to wear off, and the galaxy heard the scream of Misaki . . .

"MOMMY!"

As if on command, Yukinojo turned off the repeater message and started a new one. This one was Seto, laying in a biobed in the medical bay of _Tsunami_. Her normal pale complexion had lost its color, and she appeared to had aged from somewhere around thirty to closer to fifty Earth years old. She was wearing an oxygen mask, thus she could speak without having to remove it. It was plainly obvious as the recording began that Seto herself was in a lot of pain for one, and was fighting losing consciousness.

"To those that have gathered on the other side of the gateway, I send this message as proof that I am alive. Data on the loss of my ship is stored in the memory bank of _Yukinojo_, as well as the enemy that destroyed her." Here she paused, coughing a bit and nearly fainting. "I am very fortunate that Tsunami was with us on our journey, even though we had no idea she was there." Another pause, another near faint. "The one that I was sent to collect with his group, Tenchi Masaki's group, and Seina Yamada's group are here in this other universe collecting the remains of _Mikagami_. They won't be able to finish before the gateway closes on your end . . ." and that was it, Seto lost consciousness. There was a bit of movement, before those that were watching were greeted by two of the three Juraian Goddesses.

"I am doing what I can to help her heal," stated Tsunami to the camera after reestablishing the stasis field around Seto. "Washu is attempting to lock onto our universe so that the return trip can be made as soon as possible."

"But that is going to be nearly impossible," picked up Washu, "simply because even with the assistance we have received over here, the quantum flux that holds the universes apart, a constant mind you, is fluctuating to such a degree that it will take us a while to get home."

"Seto still wishes for the one that caused our situation, one Akane Tendo, be detained and tried in the Jurai Supreme Council meeting, pending anything from a 'higher' source." That came from Peorth, the one who drew the short straw on how to break it to anybody watching in the home universe without breaking any rules. After all, this transmission was being rebroadcast across the galaxy. And it could very well be rebroadcast on Earth if somebody figured out the frequency. In the background was some movement, and the camera reset on Seto. She was straining to get the words out, but somehow managed.

"To my immediate family, I swear this. I . . . I . . . w-w-w-will retur-n-n-n-n a . . . a . . . alive. Mommy swears to you . . . . . . . . . M-m-m-m-m-Misaki . . . . . ."

The broadcast terminated at that point, and the galaxy at large could hear the weeping of the only daughter of Seto. Tears of joy, having the proof that she was alive. Tears of anger at the one who caused this. Tears of sadness, knowing that it may very well be one promise that couldn't be kept.

"This is horrible," gasped Airi to Mikami after the broadcast had ended.

It was not lost on anybody that the broadcast terminated at the same time that the gateway closed as silently as it opened, after admitting one more traveler . . .

TBC

Whoa, never knew I had this is me. Okay, first off, the Marshals name. The OAV dictionary lists it as Anderson, GXP says Minami. I stayed with Anderson since he dresses better and is cooler in Muyo than GXP. Oh, and somewhere along the line Minaho is going to meet up with the 'crew' of this fic since I just went through a GXP marathon and noted that she is SINGLE! Ooh boy ooh boy! Enough of this, time for break. Oh joy oh joy.


	28. TGD 8

Disclaimer: NOT FOR YOU! NOT FOR ME! Deal with it.

In case you are wondering, the _Star Wars _saga will not commence until all the other realms listed have been visited, since the others are all of the 'in-out' variety. Each saga should be two chapters, except the monster awaiting me at the end. Of course, I might mesh them all in the end . . . a catalyst for something even bigger . . . haven't planned that far yet.

The Goddess Dilemma, part eight

By: Jim Ohki

_-(Universe B, Star Trek year 2379)-_

"The gateway has closed," reported Washu to those present onboard _Tsunami_. The Ranma Saotome Crew, Tenchi Masaki Crew, and Seina Yamada Crew all sighed with trepidation. Words were hard to come by since there was much of nothing that could be done at the current moment. Not with Seto being in such a state that universal travel would more than likely kill her. The current vidscreen had a communication line open to the _Enterprise_-E, and the parties from different universes were at a loss as to the next move.

It wasn't the greatest idea to leave the Juraians out here, away from planets and stations native to this plane. The flip side of that coin was that it wasn't the greatest idea to let them mingle with the crowds, as it were. Moral was low, and so it was agreed that those that had remained in this universe could have limited access to DS9.

Once the cleanup of the remains of _Mikagami_ were complete, the small fleet set a course to Bajor at full impulse . . .

"Let me get this straight," deadpanned Washu at Seina, "You managed to get _Idol_ here without anybody knowing, including myself?" He chuckled and stuttered, not quite knowing how to answer that. Tsunami had yet to give him a key to the First Generation Juraian Tree, so it came as a great surprise when the Tenchi-ken flew away from the young man named after it to Seina.

"Okay, that's new," intoned Tenchi, bug-eyed at his Master Key moving around on its' own volition. The surprise wore off after a few moments due to it being Seina . . . weird things happen around him after all.

"Back up the truck!" demanded Ranma, getting weirded out himself by the goings on, "Just what is this _Idol_ thingy that you mentioned?" He was instantly assaulted by Alexandra, Taki and Xianghua much to the chagrin of the rest of his followers.

"I'M SCARED!" they exclaimed as one, knocking Ranma to the floor. All of this tech around them was way out of their league, and it had only been a matter of time before they snapped. Now was apparently a good time to cling to him and ignore everything else around them. Including the current discussion, as sweat drops abound on the rest of those present.

"We should merge _Idol_ and _Kamidake_," stated Kiriko, getting back to business, "Consolidate what equipment we have."

"What about _Mizuki_?" wondered Amane, a skeptical look on her face. That and she was doing her best to ignore the developing situation on the floor. "She doesn't have her armor yet."

"It might be possible to merge all three," interjected Washu, a twitch appearing above her left eye, "But with my lab being in another plane of existence I don't know for certain."

"KNOCK IT OFF!" roared Ukyo and Xian in a co-op move to get Ranma out from under the three women. This royally backfired as they added to the dog pile once Ukyo was tripped. Ranma was frozen by the contact of the girls above him, only able to moan from time to time.

"Geez, they're worse than us," quipped Ryoko H. "At least we wait for some privacy before getting down and dirty."

"RYOKO!" shouted the rest of the Masaki crew, blushing scarlet since what she said was the truth. Highly unnecessary for anybody else to know, but the truth.

Those on the _**Certificate**_ that had not engaged in a rescue attempt did so when a female moan came from the pile, somewhere near Ranma's location. It didn't help in the least that the look of ecstasy had appeared on the only male's face.

"HE'S GONNA MELT!" yelled Seina, sharing a knowing look with Tenchi. They both began to slowly back away from the inevitable . . .

"Oh, that's just wrong!" exclaimed Nabiki after managing to succeed in literally 'getting to the bottom of this'.

"Ewwww!" groused Urd, turning away from the sight lest her lunch reappear as a projectile.

"Oh my! Guess I'd better do laundry tonight," said the ever-thoughtful Kasumi, who was acting more like a stunned mother would in this type of situation. Although there appeared to be a wrinkle -frown line?- on her otherwise immaculate face.

"What the hell are you doing on _my_ floor?!" roared Sasami, not liking where the entire exchange had been going. That, and it had taken nearly eight hundred years to get the floor this reflective. There would be hell to pay if . . .

"_**YUCK**_! Off my ship you go!"

_POOF_

"AND STAY OUT!" came across the void to _Enterprise_, scaring the living daylights out of those on duty. It was the ever popular night shift, thus everything was dimmed to match the time.

"What in the blazes?" demanded Picard, who had just finished eating dinner with part of his senior staff prior to the poker game. The table was overturned by somebody when all present stood up, poker chips and cards went flying. Klaxons finally came to life two minutes later, adding to the irritation factor.

"They're everywhere!" came from the communication panel, followed by the sounds of glass breaking and bodies hitting the floor. The lights flickered, the ship pitched wildly starboard, then all was silent.

"Hello, is this thing on?" came Ranma's voice. "Hel~lo! Is anybody out there? I think I broke something here."

"MOVE!" roared Picard at his senior staff, making a rush for the turbolift. Those that had appeared in Data's quarters were ignored in favor of a greater situation. Riker, Troi, Crusher and the aforementioned Data followed their Captain to the turbolift.

The bridge of _Enterprise_ had descended into chaos. Most of the stations in the rear of the bridge were trashed, the night shift crew lay about everywhere. The turbolift doors opened, spewing the senior staff into a sea on anarchy.

"Maybe this would help," commented a blonde woman before pressing the control sequence to turn hard port. With the attitude adjusters offline, the ship started to spin like a top, on her nose no less.

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" exclaimed a brunette while making a dive for the helm. The two women started to literally wrestle for control of _Enterprise_, while somebody they knew held on for deal life at tactical.

"If you can't control it," intoned Ranma, "Punch it."

Thus he did, a direct full force punch to the weapons and communications controls. All present on the bridge learned something new about a heavy ki user: ki and electronics don't mix. The entire tactical station arced a few times before exploding, sending shrapnel every which way.

"That usually works with Pops," said a charred Ranma before passing out. Everybody that was near the station when it blew were out like a light, while the apparent experienced pilot of the group got _Enterprise_ leveled out and stationary.

"My bridge," softly spoke Picard, making his crew around him back slowly away. Then one of the saddest sights in his long career became known.

"My chair."

It was tipped over, torn, and burnt to a crisp. The chair that had survived Veridian III, the Borg, the Dominion, and several dozen other foes . . . gone.

"RUN!" shouted a half dozen officers, making tracks for the 'lifts. They were just barely fast enough to avoid the next words out of the Captain's mouth.

"Conference room. _NOW_."

"What in the Sam hell is going on here?" demanded Picard once the last of the stragglers had been rounded up and shipped to the conference room behind the bridge. "Better yet, tell us who these other people are, then explain why my ship is now _**CRIPPLED**_!" Missing from this impromptu meeting were Worf and Data, since they were assisting with repairs. LaForge was still off of the ship with the fleet at _DS9_.

It seemed that Sasami, in her fit of justifiable rage, had quite literally cleared _Tsunami_ out. Minus Seto, of course. Such a shame for Picard though, since _Tsunami_ pulled a Houdini and disappeared. He now had to deal with twenty-three unruly people. Unruly in the form of something wherever one of them was ceased to function after they touched it. Like that one hovering near Ranma, the female with the red tattoos on her face. She had wound up in Engineering, and simply leaned against the warp core intake manifold regulator adjustment console. Now the intake and exhaust manifolds were fried, the warp core was offline, and even the impulse engines were nonfunctional. Another of the females, one that looked almost like the first except for the facial markings, had appeared in the Auxiliary Weapons Control room. She had an apparent case of displacement sickness, shorting out the weapons control computer.

"Good going Ranma," deadpanned an as yet to be introduced Peorth. "You just couldn't stop yourself."

"Like it was my idea!" he retorted, the directed a glare at those that were lower on the 'wild horse' pile. "Just freaking great. Sasami is mad at me, my favorite pants are ruined, and that was _not_ the way I wanted my first time to be."

"You're kidding me," groused Riker, "All of this because you couldn't keep the horse in the barn?"

_THUD!_

"I feel like I'm back home," whined Ranma, surprising those that knew him. He didn't whine, after all. "Everybody always points the finger at me. Why can't somebody else get blamed first? Better yet, why can't anybody _defend_ me when I get accused of something that wasn't my idea?"

"In all truth, the 'horse' never left the barn," commented Washu, one of the few 'spokespeople' for the crowd. Thus she was a known element, at least insofar as her name.

"That's better."

"It's her fault!" half of those following Ranma around yelled, pointing at each other. With both arms would each of those that were on the bottom of the pile point at somebody else. Most notably the fingers were pointing at Xianghua, Xian, Taki, Cassandra, with Ukyo getting the least amount of this particular blame assigning vote.

"What a minute, what's this?" commented Crusher as she made her way over to them. She had spotted something from the other end of the conference room, and this was the best time to investigate. The one she stopped in front of suddenly had this look of fear on her face, looking around nervously hoping that a distraction would take all of the attention off of her. But it was not to be for this one, as Crusher pointed in the direction of her below the belt region. All eyes followed the trail to the wet spot on the spandex body suit of . . .

"TAKI! How could you?" demanded Xianghua, while placing her hands on her hips. "Is it not enough that you have that skin-tight full-body spandex suit, which clearly shows that you go commando and . . ."

"Oh, do be quiet," growled Taki in return, leveling a glare at the only other member of the old team to have come into an alternate future.

_PING_

"What the hell was that?" demanded Riker, not liking the fact that these people were highly unstable and stuck aboard _Enterprise_.

"Oh, I nearly forgot," spoke Kasumi, producing a document from the depths of her housewife getup. As soon as she put the piece of apparent paper on the table, a holographic image materialized. The _**Certificate**_ appears yet again.

"What - ?" started to demand Picard, before deciding that the situation didn't merit an ulcer and/or early retirement. Again a memory came to the tip of his brain, refusing to come out but continued to tease him with the familiarity. Thus, he leaned back in his oversized conference chair and watched.

"Okay, this is near the top of my Weird-Shit-O-Meter," offhandedly remarked Tenchi. His group and the groups belonging to his cousins nodded in agreement. In fact, the only three people not to nod at that statement were Ranma, Taki and Kasumi. They were too busy gawking at something presented on the display, which eventually weirded the rest of the RC into looking to see what it was. It was a simple question, really a one liner, but it was enough to get that entire group to be silent at the same time.

"Add Taki to _**Certificate**_? Y/N."

The cursor sat there, blinking, waiting for a response from the only person that could. The others came out of their silence in an uproar, concentrating on shouting "NO!" as loud as they could. Ranma was frozen, especially after having shared a look with Taki. A slight motion got Ranma to turn his head to his left, and he could see Kasumi out of the corner of his eye giving him a thumbs-up.

Wait a minute, Kasumi in favor of adding more to this list of life-partners? Something was off about that, but the hopeful look in her eyes wasn't missed by Ranma. Although he hoped to have a conversation with her in private later.

Those crowded into the conference room stopped making any noise when Ranma's right hand began to move towards the holographic interface. They stopped breathing when his right index finger became the only one pointing in the forward direction that the hand continued to travel. There was a slight pause, then Ranma pushed the key that gave his answer.

_PING_

_**UPDATE TO CERTIFICATE:**_

_**HUSBAND: Ranma Saotome (Aqua transsexual, human/god/demon/alien hybrid (File CLASSIFIED))**_

_**Wife One: Nabiki Tendo (Mercenary, human (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Two: Kasumi Tendo (Peacemaker, human (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Three: Ukyo Kuonji (Cook, human/god hybrid (potential unknown) (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Four: Xian Pu A.K.A Shampoo (Cook, Warrior, human/demon hybrid (potential unknown) (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Five: Urd Odinsdotter (Goddess, troublemaker, god/demon hybrid (DANGER! DANGER! File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Six: Peorth Christchild (Goddess, French, goddess (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Seven: Hild Demonsqueen (Demon Overlord, Yin to the Yang, unknown origins (File CLASSIFIED))**_

_**Wife Eight: Taki MoonShadow (Ninja, human (File Viewable))**_

_**Wife Nine: She's almost convinced, and she will act soon . . .**_

_**UPDATE COMPLETE, THANK YOU FOR USING WifeXP 3.4.1.**_

"Well, this is most certainly better that the Wife2000 version that we were using," groused Peorth, "At least this one will say thank you."

"What did the other one say?" asked Mihoshi, fully engrossed in the sarcasm that she missed.

"Fuc -"

"NO! Don't you dare say that!" chastised Urd in a surprise counter maneuver to her usual behavior. "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry for letting Mara get a hold of the base OS for 2000?"

_BANG_

All eyes focused on Picard, who had had enough of the silliness that these people had brought aboard his ship. Taking note that the holographic display was still there, yet unable to read it, and ignoring it in favor of the more pressing issues, he demanded the full attention of those in the room.

"While you are still . . . 'guests' aboard my ship," he growled, "You will follow my directives to the letter. First off, none of you are permitted on the Bridge, in Engineering, Weapons Control or any other sensitive part of this ship. Secondly, I don't have enough quarters to give to each of you. There will have to be some double-bunking, to be decided by -"

"Hold it right there," spoke an irritated Tenchi, "Believe it or not we only need three quarters amongst the lot of us. Sir."

"Are you mad?" asked Riker with both of his eyebrows raised. He glanced in the direction of Deanna, and noticed that she had the same look on her face.

"Nope, not in the slightest," answered Seina for his cousin. "Watch. All right girls, FORM UP!"

Once the dust -Picard wanted to know where it came from- settled, the three males of the conflagration were isolated in pockets of women. The Starfleet personnel were dumbfounded by this development, and tried to voice their opinions as such.

_PING; PING_

"Now what?" deadpanned Picard, who was already so deep into a headache that not even Beverly would be able to get rid of it. He and his staff watched as whatever piece of technology that they had that was pinging for attention appeared.

"Uh oh," intoned Washu, slightly miffed at the lack of airtime. "Seina, now I know why Tenchi-ken flew to you. _Idol_ has been trying to contact you for the last forty-five minutes on a matter of great urgency."

"Okay, so that explains the occasional 'knock-knock' I've been hearing," sweated Seina, "I really wish somebody would tell me these things before they happen." With that said, he tuned out the waking world to answer the mental door to _Idol_.

While that was happening, a report came from the bridge about an unknown object appearing two thousand kilometers off the starboard bow. An image was piped into the conference room of a two-hundred meter tall mecha.

"That would be _Idol_," Washu informed the others that didn't know, "It's older than most star systems, life forms, and various other spatial anomalies. Nobody knows who built her, but she definitely packs a wallop." After hacking the _Enterprise_ computers again, a video began playing. "Here we see _Idol_ in action against a fleet of Pirate ships." She paused in her monologue to let the video catch up, "And here is _Idol_ defending a planet from the full power shots fired by the Pirates and Galaxy Army. The GA was smart enough to surrender before any of their ships were lost." Another pause as the playback continued, then the great finale. "Last but not least is _Idol_ literally pulling a ship out of hyperspace. Then compacting said ship in an artificial black hole."

"My God, who controls this thing?" gasped Troi, before all eyes zeroed in on Seina.

"Oh no, Seto's gonna kill me . . ." whined the boy in question, shoulders drooping and head sagging. Silence reigned as the others present waited for him to finish.

"What is it man? C'mon, spit it out!" encouraged Ranma, which caused Seina to further sag into himself before looking at Tenchi.

"Two words: Minaho. Stowaway."

_DONK_

Those that knew of her were instantly slack jawed while the rest were simply confused. Then at once did the voices of the TMC and SYC start up, further adding to any headaches that had already sprung up.

"GET HER OUTTA THERE!" came Tenchi's voice over the turboprop noise of his followers, followed by no less that a dozen "YEAH's".

"You're kidding, another unknown to bring aboard my already crippled ship?" demanded Picard, which earned him a few death glares from those at the other end of the conference table.

"Try my Third Aunt," evenly stated Tenchi, effectively getting the Captain out of his self-imposed funk of not thinking. Said person sighed, rubbed the bald spot on his head, and tried again.

"Just out of curiosity, is there a family tree I could see to prevent such un-pleasantries in the future?" Ah, much better. Now the man is thinking rationally, even though his rage was pretty justifiable. Of course, now that he had to ask for it, the wall going along the length of the table turned into a giant holographic display. Starting from the bottom, at Tenchi, Seina, Ranma and their . . . situations, the family tree blossomed directly into Sephiroth - The Tree of Life, The World Tree, The Beginning and the End, and the eighty-five other names that had been tacked on over the millennia.

"Wow, didn't know that would happen," offhandedly remarked Urd, "But then again, being cut off from Yggdrasil Control like this I'd bet good Sake on Father knowing about this."

As they watched, several new branches appeared. Most had no name attached, some had blurry names. But still the tree continued to grow, with the only three males as the trunk. The diagram of the tree stopped with the three simply because going any farther back would create several paradoxes, especially like the situation with Ayeka, Sasami and Tenchi.

"Captain, may I?" hinted Seina, at least asking before doing on this one. He received a hand wave as his answer, then got _Idol_ to deposit Minaho in the conference room before moving off and cloaking again.

_POOF_

"What in the - ?" began Minaho, taking in her surroundings before spotting Seina. "I'm so glad I found you!"

_GLOMP_

"Captain Picard, I'd like you to meet Minaho Masaki," said the boy in question while ignoring the half-lidded death glares coming form the others in his camp. "Minaho, this is Captain Picard of the United Federation of Planets . . ."

_-(Universe A, Ranma year 2005)-_

Whoa, what happened here? The ruckus caused when _Yukinojo_ had returned had died down to nothing, since there was really nothing that could be done to rectify the situation. Insofar as rescuing those that needed to be. But before anybody could blink, Tokimi had reappeared and 'borrowed' Akane for her meeting with Kami-sama.

So, all of these visitors to the Third Marble from the sun, in the Sol system, in the upper arm of the Milky Way galaxy, somewhere in the midst of the universe sat around twiddling their thumbs.

"Uh, excuse me?" came a male voice, from directly behind the command staff of the mobile Galaxy Police Emergency Command Center. Every eye whipped around to the voice, only to see what the natives considered advanced camera technology pointed in their collective faces.

"Ah crap, the natives!" exclaimed somebody in the back, before making a break for a paper sack. Apparently they weren't going to take any sort of fall on this debacle. All of the lower level personnel cleared out, leaving Airi and Mikami to handle this on their own.

"Can we help you?" asked Airi, since she outranked Mikami. Although there was going to be hell to pay later when the Juraian Council found out about this. There was supposed to be NO contact whatsoever with the native humanoids of Earth, due to being too technologically and mentally unprepared for being brought up to speed on the galactic scene.

"Yeah," came the reply, "you can start with just what you're doing on our planet!"

Oh yeah, this was going to take a while indeed. As Airi met the Earth population via that wonder of science, several people managed to lock themselves in the Tendo compound without being noticed. Soun, Nodoka, Mousse, Ryoga who for some reason refused to get lost, Nightmare, Kilik, Yunsung, Ivy (see, not every female followed Ranma!), Maxi and Lucia did something that was a rarity for such a group of fighters and whiners to do.

Sit back and relax. They could really do much of nothing, just like everybody else, so they sat around the Tendo place drinking tea, sake, water, soda (where did that come from?) and snacking on whatever they could find.

Well, this shows that while our antagonists are in another dimension, those awaiting their return in the primary plane are dealing with mundane and boring fic filler. Hey, at least they got some air time.

_-(Universe B, Star Trek year 2379)-_

"Damn it," grumbled Picard as he shifted in the recently replicated chair that had replaced his old one. It had taken him almost twenty years to get the last one comfortable to his standards, and he was hoping it wouldn't take another twenty to get this chair 'broke in'. Turning to his First Officer he spoke, "Status report."

"The impulse engines and sensors are back online," answered Riker, reading from his own ship's status display screen. "Communications, weapons, shields, transporters and warp drive are still offline. At least we can move now, sir."

"Resume course for _DS9_. Number One, you have the bridge," were the two orders issued before Picard made tracks for a more comfortable chair.

_-(Ambassadors Quarters, Deck Eight)-_

Since the revelation that the massive group only needed three different quarters for the duration of their stay, they were placed in three out of the five available on deck eight. It took some cajoling on the females part for MUCH larger beds, but only ten minutes into the argument did Picard cave. Mostly it had to do with just wanting some peace and quiet. The rest had to do with a replicator, something that was supposed to be dead but still moving, and being told 'give in or eat'. That last bit was courtesy of Nabiki, who had surprisingly found a recipe from Akane that the computer could 'vomit' - replicate for the Captain.

Having decided to turn in for the night, the groups of the cousins separated for the first time in nearly two days. Ranma by far was having the most difficult time, since the only sound coming from Tenchi's and Seina's quarters was a constant thumping noise.

And no, we will NOT go into either of those rooms to see what the . . . situation was.

"Oh come on," quipped Nabiki, who along with the majority of the followers, was in the process of cajoling Ranma for quality time.

"Ain't gonna happen," she, yes SHE, retorted, having pulled a bedroll from somewhere and spread it out in the 'living room'.

"And we went to all of this effort of learning how to work a replicator," chimed in Kasumi, making Ranma snap her head around to see what the older Tendo was talking about only to snap it back the other way just as quickly. Those on the bane of Ranma's existence had decided that a 'shopping' trip was in order to get the sex-changing martial artist to loosen up. The technology of this alternate future reality thingy was so user friendly that after five minutes of instruction from the computer, they had . . . intimate night apparel. At least some of them.

A baby-blue teddy for Kasumi, a white dotted satin ruffle baby doll for Nabiki, an undersized nightshirt for Ukyo (ended just below her bottom), and a navy blue lace nightie for Peorth. The others . . . well, Xian and Taki were most comfortable butt naked since that was the way they had grown up, while Hild and Urd were just being 'troublemakers' by following the Amazon and the Ninja.

Those not on the _**Certificate**_ were trying desperately to get some shut eye, not that it was possible since Ranma herself was a topless-boxers type. Oh, and the fact that there was only one comfortable place to sleep. Not to mention that damned rhythmic thumping coming from either side of their quarters.

Tenchi and Seina had been cornered by those in the Ranma camp about taking the quarters on either side of their own. They had a very good idea that those in the respective camps of the cousins were going to be busy tonight. They had hoped that this would motivate Ranma into action.

"GODDAMNIT, BE QUIET!" roared the female Ranma at the walls, hoping the thumping would go away. Not that she noticed the twitch that Urd and Peorth experienced at the expletive. It didn't work as whoever was the motor in the other two rooms picked up the tempo.

"Ah jeez," complained Karin as she crawled out of the comfortable bed, forgetting that she was hiding there because she herself was a nighttime nudist. She shocked the rest of the women present by manhandling a female Ranma into the King3 Size bed. "Now would you just go to sleep!" she demanded, rolling over onto her left side.

"I . . . I . . .I-I-I-I-" stammered Ranma, before fainting with a minor nosebleed. Those that remained conscious blinked owlishly for a few moments before shrugging their shoulders and piling onto the small island of Ranma.

"Definitely not a pervert," commented Nabiki to anybody that would listen. Now if only they could locate the light switch . . . seems nobody bothered to tell them the magic words.

Time passed. People slept. But all good things must come to an end. Here we have the prime example of what happens when people awaken for the first time in a strange place.

"HUH? WHERE -"

"N'gh, b'quiet, sleep now good . . ."

"Would you stop touching me?"

"Uh, that isn't me. Aren't you the one touching me?"

So many eyes snapped open at once that it was almost audible. The mass of bodies tried to untangle themselves, only to bother the last one asleep.

"Damn it, stop moving. Comfortable. Nice pillow. ZZZzzz -." Yes, that would be Ranma, proving that she _can_ sleep through anything. The only two not affected by the weird and bizarre were Xianghua and Cassandra, since sometime during the night they had been booted off of the island. Everybody else, these would be those on that piece of paper, had been pushed to the bottom of the formation, leaving Ranma up top to stretch out and find the 'nice pillow'.

Time to step back and see just what kind of mess Ranma's in now . . .

As was noted, she was on top of those on the _**Certificate**_. Somehow during the night, before all present fell into REM sleep and the point were the other two got booted, Ranma . . . well, she had staked a claim to many a valley between two hills. More to the point, she had staked the hills themselves, kind of like a full body pillow. While it was a good thing that the female Ranma turned out to be light as a feather, it was not a good thing for those that had a new sensation.

After getting Cassandra and Xianghua to lift Ranma off of them, each person that had spent the night on the bed discovered something new about their 'husband'. The duo placed Ranma back on the bed since there was no need to hold her up.

"He drools?" quipped a grossed out Ukyo, noting that wonderful stiff patch of skin associated with dry drool. She got several nods in confirmation, either from those with the dry drool or those that had moist drool. In a very peculiar spot.

"What, he was never breast-fed?" groused Nabiki while making tracks for the sonic shower. While all of this was occurring, nobody noticed the slight look of concentration that had appeared on Ranma's face. Nobody noticed the slight muscle clenching.

She felt the urge, so she purged. It was silent, that much was known. Nobody else even had the faintest idea that there was something new to be learned about Ranma. Even as a she, there was no doubt about her male persona still being there. It took it a minute to reach the shower, were the others were getting instruction from the computer on how to use it. When it hit, eyes watered. Everybody tried breathing through their mouths. Then the blame-game started, nobody the wiser . . . until the Tendo sisters remembered something.

"Wait a minute," said Nabiki with her right arm raised to stall the others, "this is something we have encountered before. There's only one true way to combat this evil stench."

"Oh no, when did Ranma get a hold of Akane's cooking?" offered Kasumi, looking innocent of the fact that she had just spilled the beans.

"It's that bad?" questioned Ukyo, "I mean the . . . wonderful aroma we've discovered here."

"What, you think that iron stomach doesn't get upset from time to time?" returned Xian, getting in on the conversation. She had decided to drop the 'uber-sex-kitten stupidity act' in favor of acting her age. "Why do you think the Cat Café never had to be fumigated? We'd get Ranma to come over and . . ."

"OKAY!" barked Nabiki, putting a stop to that line of conversation. Well, insofar as the previous encounters that encouraged the behavior. "The only way to . . . 'cure' him . . . ugh, Kasumi take over! I'm gonna hurl!" And off to the toilet she goes. Kasumi looked lost for a minute, before shaking her head from side to side.

"Oh well," she quipped, "I always get the fun jobs." Getting a warm glass of water from the replicator, Kasumi headed in the direction of Ranma. She paused to speak over her shoulder, "I would not recommend watching this. It tends to get . . . messy. However, since we are 'stuck' together, you should probably learn what it is I'm about to do." With that having been said, she continued her interrupted trek towards the still sleeping Ranma.

_SPLASH_

"What the - ?" started Urd, before realizing that it was just a systems self test. At least, she hoped so. And judging from the looks on the other women's faces, they had the same thought.

Need a hint? Use the following formula to get the answer. Morning plus male plus were male spent night.

Still lost? Well, it shouldn't effect the rating to say that Ranma, King of Weirdness had a tent sale going on. As the scene fades out, Kasumi is seen pulling at the top of his boxers while trying to flip him over onto his stomach with one hand and a bottle of KY in the other.

Even _I_ don't want to know, and I'm writing this!

The scene comes back to life with bodies flying around the quarters. The women were forcibly removed from Ranma's path, at least those that tried to get in his way. Nabiki, who was the last in the path to the throne had heard him coming, and dove into the shower stall to avoid injury. Once Ranma was seated, she quickly convinced the others to follow her out of the quarters, regardless if they were dressed or not.

Their neighbors, who had begun their day by wandering around sight seeing, were surprised when the quarters used by the Ranma camp suddenly emptied out, except for the man himself. Tenchi and Seina dove for cover considering that four of those women were butt naked.

"What is the meaning of this?" demanded Ayeka in her princess voice, then her eyes watered.

"Clear the deck!" shouted Ryoko, who was the only fortunate one there. She had the option to breathe. The rest began gagging, trying to breathe through their mouths at the horrendous stench. Klaxons sounded with red flashing lights not two seconds later.

"Biogenic weapon detected on Deck Eight, all personnel must evacuate . . ."

"Where's Ranma?" demanded Tenchi. Now that there was a reason for action, he could overlook the amount of flesh that was supposed to be reserved for his cousin.

"He got a hold of Akane's cooking within the last three days," explained Ukyo as the entire group made for the turbolift. Those not already in the know had their eyes bulge at that remark. "It was shortly before this craziness began, from what we can tell. His iron stomach had tried to digest it, but this is the result."

"Biogenic weapon detected; Deck Eight, Deck Nine . . ."

"It's in the air vents!" exclaimed Seina, "Maybe we should evacuate to _Mizuki_, or pester Sasami to let us back on board. The entire ship is in danger of smelling like . . . that!"

"It'll clear in a few minutes," assured Kasumi, the voice of experience, "but we have to go to the farthest point from here, preferably up."

"She's right," concurred Nabiki, "That is not in the air system, but rather the . . . whatever they call it in this century. We have to go up."

And so they crammed into a turbolift. Twenty-two people stuffed inside one designed for at the most six.

"UP!" roared the crowd.

"Cannot comply, unknown destination," answered the computer. That caused a panic since nobody had really bothered to demonstrate how to use the lift system. They all started talking at once, trying to argue with a computer that was a step below being an Artificial Intelligence.

"BRIDGE!" demanded a crushed Washu, while trying to remove a foot from her head. The lift instantly began to move, much to the delight of the poor sardines . . . people.

_-(Bridge)-_

"What the hell is going on?" roared Riker as alarms continued to go off. Worf looked embarrassed, a rare feat for a Klingon, and waved his commanding officer over. Will read the reports streaming across the recently replaced tactical station, and couldn't help himself.

_THUD!_

"You're kidding me!" he groused from his new position on the floor. He was back on his feet in a flash, only to come nose to nose with Picard. The Captain did not look pleased.

"What did _they_ do now?" he demanded of his XO, "I 'walk in the door' and things are already amuck."

"Well," began Riker, "Sir, uh . . . you had best read this."

As Picard started to read the reports streaming across the tactical display, the 'lift doors opened admitting Troi and Data. They both paused seeing the look on the Captain's face, the way Will was fidgeting, and . . . an embarrassed Worf?

_THUD!_

Oh, and a now face-planted Jean-Luc. As they made their way towards the station, Will picked off Deanna before she would inevitably become ill. Both noticed that Picard was back on his feet in an instant, and fuming.

"Will, what's going on?" asked a more than concerned Troi, "Emotions are running amuck all over the ship. This is worse than what I felt at _Quark's_ on _DS9_."

"Trust me," he replied with no lack of several emotions, "You don't want to know. Right now we have a . . . biogenic . . . weapon on the loose in the septic systems. But this thing appears to be alive and moving on its' own . . ."

He was cut off when Troi looked towards the aft lift, and then those on the bridge heard it. An excessive amount of people crammed into the lift was about to make their appearance. The doors opened, and flooded the bridge with many a person.

It was noted, just barely and only by Data, that those in the Ranma camp were either barely clothed or straight naked. The biggest note was the missing Ranma.

"Activate the communications screen in those quarters," barked Picard, going into full command mode. His order brought the rest of his staff into their own, as they took their stations.

"Mute it!" shouted Nabiki, "Trust me, you don't want to hear what he's doing in there!"

Worf hesitated, awaiting approval from his captain before following the advice of the civilian. The viewer on the bridge switched to show the interior of the quarters that the RC had used, and almost instantly sound carried.

"OH YEAH! MUCH BETTER!" declared Ranma, even though he was off camera. "I wonder were everybody is? Oh well . . . ugh . . . ah crap, not again . . ."

"Mute," stated Picard, knowing what was about to happen. He turned to those that shouldn't be on the bridge, and made a note to ask them about getting dressed so quickly. They had not been on the bridge but two minutes and the nightwear was gone. Everybody watched the viewer, especially considering that there was a shadow produced by the lighting in the bathroom. Occasionally that shadow would lift straight into the air, and that was when the bridge crew became thankful for one of Ranma's followers being on the ship.

"Flush the system," ordered Picard, having looked over Will's shoulder at his display screen. "Hopefully whatever that creature is won't survive the vacuum of space."

His will be done, the septic system was dumped into space. That wonderful blue chemical solution that had proved useful throughout the ages froze instantly, and began it's drift through the nothing. Only as it drifted, the blue block impacted against something.

"Well, there's _Tsunami_," deadpanned Tenchi, noting that the communications array was going bonkers with hails. "If she was pissed about the floor, I imagine she's livid about the outer hull."

"And we have something to do!" chorused the SYC before disappearing.

"Oh yeah, we have stuff to do also!" chimed in the TMC before following their counterparts to wherever they had gone. This left those of the RSC on the bridge when the video feed was turned on. As the only ones present, they got the full force of Sasamis' rant.

"What is this? Is in not enough that you get that . . . _**EEEEWWWW**_ . . . on my floor, now you have to throw blue hail at me?" she demanded, while the rest of her 'family' quietly moved in the background.

"Give her the feed from the quarters, with audio," stated Picard, "But keep our end muted. I really don't want to hear whatever it is he is doing."

As soon as the feed from the Ambassadors quarters started, Sasami and those behind her froze. Even though witnessing it from afar, they all turned a little green. Then a few shades of red in embarrassment. While they partook in the entertainment of a fart joke that got out of hand, the Seina crew was busy.

No, not that type of busy. That was during the night, now is work time.

They had devised a plan to merge their three ships into one, to conserve space and consolidate resources. It most definitely wouldn't look the greatest, but it would work. First off was _Idol_, having to 'lay' on her back (this was determined by getting the galactic axis/plane for this universe), and _Mizuki_ docking with the mecha at the point of entry on the chest cavity. This would allow Seina access to his vessel, with an actual airlock. Once those two were combined, they just had to get the _Kamidake_ merged with them and the process would be complete. The operation was on _Mizuki_, since _Kamidake_ had to disintegrate for the merge.

"Okay Seina," said Kiriko, "once the merger is completed, have _Idol_ set her arms against the side of her frame and lock the legs straight with her spine."

"Roger," he replied, "We are primed for merge process. Ready Fuku?"

"MIYA!"

That was in stereo, as Fuku and her five clones chorused their readiness. It was highly in their favor that the madman Terant Shank had never caught on that the cabbits could in fact work in tandem, increasing their power by a factor of six.

It also bode well that the cabbits refused to be separated from Seina by anybody other than those with the authority. Meaning the wives and Seina ONLY.

"Commencing merge," stated Ryoko B., "Disintegration of _Kamidake_ at forty-four percent and climbing, all components stable."

On one of the many vidscreens that had appeared they could see the base shape of _Kamidake_ vanish and reintegrate on various parts of _Idol_. With both arms of the mecha flat against the sides of the torso, wings appeared starting at the shoulders and becoming wider towards the wrists, giving the combination of three ships something that might provide air maneuverability once properly tested. Each wing, at the widest point, came to fifty feet. Smaller fins appeared on the mechas' feet, providing the appearance of tail fins of an aircraft. The remaining material of _Kamidake_ went to blending and securing the docking port between _Idol_ and _Mizuki_, giving the completed assembly more of an actual designed look instead of something that was cobbled together.

"Linkages nominal," reported Neju, "All ship components at one hundred percent."

"Weapons cross-linked," continued Surien, "Green on the board."

"Shields at one hundred percent," added Gyokuren, "Light Hawk power nominal."

"Engines cross-linked," stated Karen, "Cooling systems are green."

"Navigation is green," finished Haruken, "Merger successful."

"Now, what should we call her?" chimed in Amane, not wanting to be left out of the talking. Especially since this was a chance for the entire SYC to get airtime.

"That's a good question," replied Seina, "Any thoughts?"

They paused, looking from person to person. While it would be less confusing to anybody they meet if the combined ships were under the same name, they didn't want to make the same mistake a certain ex-suitor for the Crown Princess did.

"Mikadol?" blurted Kiriko, then shook her own head. While it did roll easily off the tongue, it reminded her of a sleep aid on Earth.

"Something in English, perhaps?" wondered Neju, trailing off as she became lost in thought.

"Naw," responded the others. While they were thinking about a name, another screen appeared.

"What the hell did you guys accomplish?" demanded Washu, mad that she was not brought into the loop when they merged the ships.

"What it looks like," answered Seina, scratching the back of his head, "While we were successful in getting the three ships merged, we are hung up on a new name . . . wait a minute." With a mental command he muted the channel, then turned to the others with a silly grin on his face.

"How did you mute the communications on my ship?" asked Kiriko with an eyebrow raised, before it dawned on her that _Kamidake_ and _Idol_ both technically belonged to Seina, thus giving him majority on the systems. Not that she or any of the other females were going to argue the point, it was just the novelty of asking first.

"I have an idea for a name," he stated, ignoring the question, "Washu there got me thinking, one of her sisters has a ship named after her. So why not continue that tradition?"

"You want to call this form Washu?" deadpanned Amane.

"If not that, what about _Tsunami's Sister_?" chimed in Minaho, seeing where the conversation was headed. The others threw the name about a few dozen times before nodding their heads in agreement. Granted, it wasn't the a-one best name in the Multiverse, but it fit the best. With the name agreed upon, they turned back to the fuming Washu. After all, being number one means despising being on hold for anything.

While that conversation was taking place, the now fleet of three had reached sensor range of _DS9_. Communications went back and forth between all vessels, most were directed at _Enterprise_. The USS _Lexington_, _Centaur_, _Denver_, and _Hendrix_ had left the station by the time they had arrived, being needed elsewhere in the Quadrant. The _Valhalla_, _Prometheus_, and _Colorado_ were still docked with the former mining station, undergoing the best repairs possible without a dry-dock. On nearby patrol was the _Defiant_.

Ranma, Seina and Tenchi were led to Ops, then into the Colonel's office. Word of the misadventures had reacted the station long before their arrival, and as such Nerys wanted a word or several with the leaders of the band of 'riff-raff'.

Before Kira could even open her mouth to begin what was supposed to be one of the better tirades in a few decades, another visitor appeared in her office.

"Sasami?" questioned Tenchi, not liking the way she had barged into the meeting. She had a look of panic in her face, and quickly fell into her beloveds arms, crying like a newborn.

This immediately set off the cousins, both hating that a woman was crying . . . and that she would only cry if something bad had just happened. When they caught the word "Seto" in the sobs, Ranma and Seina suddenly vanished. This surprised Nerys and her command staff that had poured into the room at the pitch of the wailing.

"Would somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?" demanded Kira, getting her first words in.

Before anybody could answer, the cousins reappeared with a passenger.

"Tell me there's a Doc here!" roared Ranma as he carefully set Seto down on a vacant couch. His vocalism brought Sasami out of her crying fit, only to go back in when she turned and saw her grandma laying there, helpless.

"Bashir is the name," spoke a middle-aged man, opening a scanning device over Seto's body. Even a blockhead like Ranma knew when to back up and let a professional work, so he gave the man space.

"What happened?" questioned Seina of Sasami.

"Every new bondmate I create rejects her," sighed the Tsunami side of her persona, "They all say the same thing, that she's too old, too ruthless, too vengeful. Even after showing them the download I got from _Mikagami_ before she died, they still say no. I'm out of options, I can't create more than six First Gens in six decades, and I used up that allotment in six _HOURS_ trying to get her a new bondmate. I cannot create Second or lower Generations because those come from Firsts." Here she paused, and sighed, "This is a first for me, I have never encountered a situation such as this. As much as it pains myself, there is no other option but to let her go."

"Are you insane?" demanded Seina, not quite comprehending the situation, "Can't Seto share a link with one of us? Can't she stay linked directly to YOU?!" by now, Seina was down right roaring in Sasami's face. Only to be pushed back by Tenchi, glaring daggers at the young man for yelling like that. Ranma stepped in, separating the two, defending Seina since he looked weaker than his other cousin. A fistfight broke out between the three cousins, and the view to the others was obscured by a dust cloud. Occasionally would a head, arm, leg or fist appear, only to go back in. Obscenities flowed freely, blending into a long run on sentence that would make Sailors of any race blush.

"That settles it, they're not staying here," remarked Kira, turning towards her XO Ezri Dax, "Once they are done with the pissing match, throw them out the airlock they came in. I will _NOT _have this type of behavior on my station."

"You're fighting over nothing," spoke Bashir to the dust cloud, instantly making them stop. They looked at the doctor, then over in the direction of Seto . . .

"Time to get home," stated a stone-faced Tenchi, fists clenched so tight his knuckles turned white. He placed an arm around Sasami's shoulders and mechanically led her towards the lift. Ranma and Seina both bowed to the Doctor before picking up Seto and vanishing . . .

TBC

Whoa, that was not where I wanted this to go, but a good fic must have some form of tragedy and suspense in it. Not that I'm calling this good, but it was the best place to stop. Well now, this just about closes the ST Saga, now onto something a little more fun . . .

Where, you ask? You havta read to find out.

Ja!


	29. TGD 9

Disclaimer: No mine, not yours, no money here.

Rant: I left a bi-directional cliffhanger in the last chapter for a reason, to see what the reading public would say. However, since I didn't get the reviews needed for a direction to take, I have to wander off on my own. Don't blame me. For future reference, please don't _ASSUME_ in reviews. I live life by the motto: "Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups".

The Goddess Dilemma part nine

By: Jim Ohki

"I was hoping to not have to use this option," said Sasami, "She would lose her corporeal form in the process, but this has the highest probability of success."

As she was explaining this, the entire entourage was gathered in a seldom used control room in the rear sections of _Tsunami_. Seto lay on a biobed, modesty held intact only by a thin blanket. On the tree equivalent was one of the six trees that she had created in hopes of a new bondmate for Seto.

"This is a one way process," added Washu, "We'll still be able to communicate with her, she with us, but the best she might ever manage would be an astral form."

"Just do it," gasped a weak Seto, getting tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. She was well aware of the risks, but as she was the one holding the group up in this dimension, this would allow for the attempt to get home.

There were no pyrotechnics. Seto simply phased completely out of being, and a minute energy trail led into her new shell, a First Generation sapling named _Miseto_.

"All right, let's blow this Popsicle stand," barked Ryoko, earning nods from all around. Ryo-Ohki was staying silent since her vocalizations would scare the living hell out of that funny character with the pig-tail.

"I have a weak lock on our home dimension," stated Washu, "Hopefully we make it on the first try. If not, then we are going to end up God knows where."

"Buckle your seat belts, eh?" intoned Ranma, making tracks for the nearest chair. It had been decided to make the dimensional jump from _Tsunami_, simply because it meant that nobody was separated from the group. That, and there was a faint risk that _Tsunamis' Sister_ could rip apart. Even with everything on the three in one ship in the green, it was certainly safer while they conducted the experiment.

All present were seated a strapped in with a five point NASCAR harness. Their eyes were on the monitors as a subspace gate opened, then loomed larger as _Tsunami_ approached. Just as the flagship of the Juraian Navy touched the event horizon, she pitched wildly to port. Then there was darkness for all . . .

_-(Universe C, EVA year 2015)-_

"MA'AM!" shouted Aoba, who was monitoring the Magi while the plan to free Unit One from the Twelfth Angel progressed. "The MAGI have detected a veritable rainbow from behind the moon! Got just about every color up there except orange and blue."

"What the hell is this?" demanded Major Misato Katsuragi, who had chosen to lean over Maya Ibuki to read the displays. "Three yellow, one red, seventeen gray, and nine purples?"

"The signal is on the move, in our direction," commented Maya, not daring to take her eyes off of her twin Heads-Up Displays. The HUDs had both a currently star filled view of space in the direction of the moon, and the other had the Twelfth Angel.

"Nothing on visual yet," added Aoba, "No change in the Angel either."

"What - those signals just disappeared!" shouted Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, who was manning the third station during what had originally been a bathroom break. "A few of the signals now on the surface, half a click away from the target. They are too close . . ."

"Continue the operation," ah, here we go. Three guesses to who this speaker was, and none of them count, especially if you know the Eva series. Need a hint? Think: BIGGEST ASSHOLE EVER, and CANDIDATE FOR WORST FATHER EVER. Yes! You win the fabulous no-prize by guessing Gendo Ikari.

"Movement within the Angel!" yelled Maya, taking her eyes off of the newcomers to watch what would happen next.

_-(Tokyo-3 Streets)-_

"What the hell is this place?" demanded Ranma, getting a very bad vibe from both the jumbo shadow on the ground and the flying Zebra Ball. He was part of a small survey team, consisting of Tenchi, Seina, Washu, Kiriko and Karin. The rest had been literally forced to remain onboard both _Tsunami_ and _Sister_, since this was obviously the wrong dimension.

"Damn," muttered Washu, eyebrows raised at her HoloTop, "This is the weirdest shit I have ever come across. They have a bazillion and one firewalls guarding even the library computers. At least I got a year, 2015."

"Great, another alternate reality," chimed in Seina.

"This one feels . . . wrong," shuddered Karin, eyeballing the flying ball. The shadow suddenly cracked and spewed blood. The ball began to convulse in several different directions at once, then a blood coated fist appeared.

"C'MON!" roared Ranma, Tenchi and Seina as they rounded up the other half of the survey team to seek shelter behind a building. That proved to not work when the streets flowed and flooded with blood.

"Up we go!" chorused Washu, having somehow smashed seven inch thick bullet proof glass with a gesture. Nobody else argued, but Ranma mumbled that it was unfair that he had to at least touch something to break it. The entire team made it to the roof to see the reemergence of Unit One into the world, roaring with anger at being restrained.

"COOL!" shouted Ranma, earning weird looks from the others. "I saw this anime. We have entered the Neon Genesis Evangelion dimension. If I remember right, that was the Twelfth Angel. Wait a minute . . ." he trailed off, racking his brain for the rest of the Eva series. The others looked around, taking note of the high level of blood everywhere, and the fact that there should be more buildings up than this.

_BOOM!_ And the purple Angel eater hath fallen from thine sky . . .

"We are here for a reason," suddenly stated Ranma, a look of determination on his face. "That biomecha is known as Unit One, and now that the . . . berserk? Yeah, that's it . . . berserk mode has shut down, they are going to retract it under ground to their facility. I get the feeling we were brought here to either assist in their struggle, or at the very least witness just how low humanity can go."

"And?" queried Tenchi, an eyebrow arched, "What are you getting at?"

"We need to be on the elevator when they pull that unit underground," suddenly spoke Washu, "My sensors work fine, even though I can't get into the networks here. They detect something, something _familiar_, in the complex below us. We need to figure out just what is going on."

"Damn it," cursed the cursed youth, "I can't remember what happens next. I know they will have their hands full with the Thirteenth Angel, but for the life of me I can't remember what the event was."

"Let's go," commanded Seina, heading for the edge of the roof, "Besides, we _do_ have a mecha of our own. If we encounter trouble we should be able to get out of it."

With a quick change into the Dark Seraphim form, Ranma was able to accommodate the group easily. He took flight in the direction of a now on its' feet Eva. He flew low to the ground, hoping that this would put him below the radar. They made it to the elevator with no incident, hiding behind the right foot as the platform began to drop underground.

"Now what, genius?" quipped Washu, noting that Ranma was back to normal. Her sensors detected no listening devices or visual recorders, the first sign of any lax in the security.

"Once the elevator gets to the bottom, we are going to have to make a break for it," he answered, suddenly remembering that to save on the cost of animation there were no service doors visible. As they descended lower into the complex, the launch tube doors overhead began to close. Kiriko and Seina looked at each other, then back up the way they had come.

"Now this is a problem," she said, earning the attention of the others, "My link to _Mizuki_ is blocked now. I can still hear her, but she can't hear me."

"Same here," added Seina, "I can hear _Idol_, but she can't hear me. Fuku is just as confused, and from what I can tell only the assurances that we are still kicking is keeping the others from coming down here weapons blazing."

"What -" started to demand Ranma, before trying to access his subspace pocket. "Damn, I can't even get to my stuff in storage. Looks like this will be all physical, and mental. We are going to have to outthink our enemies down here."

"Sublevel thirteen; Eva cages, house wares and lingerie." came from a hidden PA system, spooking everybody. There were also a few chuckles at the announcement, and a few blushes.

"Here we go," stated Ranma, "Follow my lead." After spotting a service door twenty feet away, one that had decent foxholes, he made a break for it. The others filed in behind him side by side to hide their numbers. Especially since the shorter people ran against the wall, out of visual range of the catwalks.

They made it to the door with out incident, making use of the cover provided by solid steel crates. There were no obvious alarm trips hooked into the door, but rather than risk it sounding the others waited for Washu to finish her probing.

"I don't believe this," she deadpanned, "But apparently security is uber-lax this deep in the complex. Probably never figured that somebody would break in through here. There's nothing on the door or the corridor behind it. No motion sensors, laser beams, nothing."

"BAKSAI TENKETSU!" whispered Ranma, breaking the door with one finger. The rest of the team stared at the dust created by such a door crumbling.

"Move out," ordered Ranma, in charge since this was converted to a ground-based covert operation. He led the way into the hallway beyond, and straight into a surprised platoon of security officers.

"Well shit," he mumbled, "This is not what I had in mind." With that out of the way, he bowled into the officers before they could raise their weapons. He blurred into a fluid motion, taking out three guards while one in the rear fell back to call for reinforcements. Ranma was simply disarming the guards, hoping that they would get the hint. It was not to be as the alarm sounded, and more guards poured into the hallway.

Karin reacted the best way she knew how, by whipping out _Durandal_, the sword possessed in her family for nine generations. Instantly slicing her way through the guards, defeating the message Ranma was trying to send about not meaning any harm.

A few tried to dog pile Seina, only to be sent flying as his enhanced body overrode those of his attackers. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Kiriko draw her GP blaster and firing at the mob of guards. Tenchi had his sword out, slicing weapons that came within range of himself and Washu. The scientist herself was within a shield, the occasional bullet bouncing off of it in random directions.

"I summon you . . . PHOENIX!" roared Karin as she twirled to the right in a full circle, using her sword like a sling for her attack, which she knew as Sonnestark. An image of a Phoenix appeared, and flew through the guards, igniting most of them in fiery death.

"Hard ball, eh?" commented Ranma, flinging several Yami-Sen-Kens' into the crowd, ignoring the screams of pain and slow death. The guards all stopped what they were doing, trying to maim and kill our heroes, and stepped back as Commander Gendo Ikari made his presence known.

"That is quite enough," he offhandedly remarked, taking note of the causalities. "Now then, who are you people and what are you doing in NERV?"

The team fell back into a circle, keeping an eye on the guards that had them surrounded. Even though they had heard what they assumed to be the head cheese in the place, they decided to play dumb.

"_No comprende_," said Ranma, the only two words in Spanish that did not deal with food that he knew. Karin launched into German, which considering that her version of it was almost a hundred years old made it hard to translate. Washu and Kiriko started speaking in their native tongues, which considering that they were never from Earth made it impossible for anybody else to understand them. Seina and Tenchi simply remained quiet, not provoking the situation they were in.

"Shoot them," ordered Gendo, as he turned around to walk away from this latest irritant, without even giving his name to our heroes.

"Oh no you don't!" roared Tenchi, bringing his Light Hawk Wings to the fore. He only used one for armor, while the other two became whirling blades of death. The fifty guards present opened fire at just about anything that moved, and since Ranma and Seina were spurred into action, that equaled a lot of friendly fire. Ranma barreled into the closest cluster, spinning like a top sending bodies flying in all directions. Seina had taken to snapping weapons in half, scaring a few guards away.

"Open door L-Seven-Nine-Foxtrot," came Gendo's voice other the din of the chaotic battle. He had noticed that the redhead sword-user had switched to an old Ruger pistol, as well as what looked like the first variant of the machinegun.

It all mattered for not, as the female part of the team was clustered around each other in a triangular defense. Thus they were standing on the door that the Commander had ordered open, knowing that the tunnel beneath it led into the detention area. The look on their faces was priceless when the door opened, and it took gravity a moment to get their attention before they fell into the darkness.

"Now, you three," sneered Gendo and the male half of the team, "If you want to see them again you'll behave . . ."

"I don't think so," said Ranma while giving Gendo the finger, then he dove into the still open trapdoor. Sounds of a large battle erupted from the tunnel, reminding Seina and Tenchi that there were plenty of bad guys standing around with weapons pointing in their direction. They both went into hog-wild bashing mode, mowing down the soldiers like paper.

Lots of gunfire erupted from the trapdoor, followed by a grunt. Then there was silence for a moment, which spooked those on the upper level. Then they heard Ranma's voice.

"All right, now I am _PISSED_! YOU HURT HER!"

Tenchi and Seina both fell back towards the door, hoping to see what was happening on the lower levels. Even the guards they were supposed to be fighting were spooked by the tone in the voice, freezing them in place.

That is, until the entire complex began to shake . . .

"BAKSAI TENTEKSU!" they heard, followed by protests from the superstructure as a part of it went flying in various directions as shrapnel. The guards engaged down below screamed, taking large amounts of damage. As those on the upper level watched the door, the females from before reappeared after quite literally being thrown back up.

Karin had a wound to her abdomen, and was bleeding profusely. Washu and Kiriko were merely dirty from intense battle, and were doing their best to save the life of the former German Officer.

"SUPER BAKSAI TENKETSU: EARTHQUAKE!" came from down below again, and this time the rumble didn't stop. The overhead lights began to sway in random directions, many catwalks groaned in protest, neatly stacked crates fell over.

"We have to get to the safest place around here," quietly stated Washu to the others, as the extra hands tended to the wounded member. "It would probably be somewhere around the Eva cages, or in the basement of the complex. Either way, we have got to do something before this place falls down around our ears."

_WHOOSH_

Ranma reappeared from down below, looking extremely pissed off. He had morphed into Neo Amon, the God of Wrath unplugged. This form wasn't restricted like the Amon form, even though it was just as ugly. Standing at just over eight feet tall he looked more like a Demon than a God. Thick black leathery hide from head to toe, leather wings, and three finger talons completed the look of most men's nightmares.

This was equally true when somebody fired a pistol in his direction, only to reveal a bulletproof hide. The guards froze momentarily, and that was all that Ranma needed. He flew into the ranks, crushing heads and ripping people in half. Blood sprayed everywhere, motivating the other guards to either fall back or die fighting instead of standing around looking stupid.

All of a sudden Ranma turned around and began a flight path out the door they had come in. He scooped the others up, mostly throwing them on his back to free his arms for Karin. He then flew an evasive pattern deeper into the still vibrating complex, following the launch pad rails toward the cages.

-_(Eva cages)_-

"Damn it, what's going on out there?" demanded Shinji Ikari, Third Child and all around wuss-hero of the world. Even with his fresh return from the unscheduled vacation inside of an Angel, he and the other two Pilots were still kept in their Evas.

"Yeah!" chimed in Asuka Langley Sorhyu, Second Child and all around bitch-hero of the world.

"I would like to know also," came from Rei Ayanami, a surprise to those that knew the First Child. Rei was classified more in the anti-hero column because she never did what a typical hero would do. Like trash talking, or hating the task. There was just . . . nothing.

"You're about to find out the easy way," came the voice of Major Misato Katsuragi. "Intruders were near the catapults, now moving towards your location . . ."

"We've got movement here!" shouted Asuka as she forced her Eva out of the docking mechanism. "What the hell is that?"

"MAGI classifies it as a black pattern," answered Misato, "We can't tell what the other patterns are, but there is NO blue or orange pattern detected."

"SHINJI!" roared the beast that had just flown into the cages, making more than a few technicians cringe in fear. After all this creature was a bringer of death, and to have his attention was a bad idea. "OPEN YOUR PLUG!"

"What the-?" began Shinji, not grasping the situation even as the beast landed on Unit One's left shoulder. "What the hell?"

The last was exclaimed as Unit One reacted on her own. The people in the command tower were throwing a fit over the fact that the Eva was in a mild berserk state, again. As least the beast wasn't thrashing about, imitating a giant purple people eater.

Then, much to the surprise of those in the tower and the other two Eva's, did Shinji's head disappear between a pair of legs that started in a micro-skirt . . .

"Goddamnit," came the muffled voice of the Third Child, "this most certainly takes the cake at the top of my 'How-Fucked-Up-Can-Things-Get' meter."

Then he caught a whiff.

No, not from the proximity of his head to her . . . yeah . . . but a smell he was all to familiar with. Even in an Eva it was easy to tell that whoever she was she was bleeding. Okay, now he had a motive for his Eva doing things on her own. Plus he had reason to reinsert the plug and deal with the damn blood smell.

"Contamination in the nerve links!" reported Maya Ibuki, wondering why Shinji would have reset the plug into the Eva in a situation like this. "Wait, Asuka don't-!"

_WHAM_

"Too late," barely summed up what just happened. Asuka, in a bizarre mentality that only she can produce, took it upon herself to swat the fly that was Ranma. Since that fly had been hovering next to the head of Unit One, that meant taking a swing. Shinji's head disappeared under the skirt itself, which considering that it was technically not there, meant physical contact. He started thrashing around, arms and legs going wild in several directions at once to get out of his current predicament. Shinji faintly heard Unit Zero tackling Unit Two, initiating a cat-fight of Eva proportions.

_-(Behind the moon, onboard _Tsunamis' Sister_)-_

"Something's wrong," stated the last person thought to know these things. Her bond to her husband was still strong, but there was a vibe coming from it that meant one thing and one thing only.

He was in a rage, never a good thing.

"I agree Kasumi," came from the second most unlikely person to state something in matters like this. "To think, we aren't there to capture this on video. The profits that could be made would be spectacular."

"Always with the money, eh Nabiki?" teased Taki, who had opened up to the group after her inauguration. Since it was a two way street, she had been informed in private about everything that each member of the _**Certificate**_ had done to the point they had met. Well, there were still a few things that she didn't know, after all everybody has to have a secret or two.

Then those of the RSC felt it. Ranma had gone beyond rage to completely and utterly pissed off. Just as they were about to make noise about assisting those on the surface, the SYC felt something from the pair they had sent in the survey team.

"What the -" stated a spooked Amane, "What the hell is going on down there?"

"Still no contact," said Tsunami, while trying her best to decipher the mystery around the blocked mind links but lack of block on pure emotion.

"That's it, party time," declared Ryoko as she switched her attire for her combat suit. "They are in trouble, we'd better mobilize and attack."

"She's . . . hurt?" questioned the entire RSC at the same time, wondering where that had come from. Instantaneously did it dawn on them that the only 'she' that would get to Ranma like that would be Karin. All three Crews felt it when alarms began to sound.

"Highly localized Earthquake, sector five of the Japanese Islands," said one screen, "Cause: Unknown."

"Let's go!" commanded Urd as she cracked her knuckles.

_-(NERV, Command Bridge)-_

"WE HAVE INCOMING FROM BEHIND THE MOON!" roared Hyuga, having taken a forty-five minute bathroom break. He was in his seat not two seconds when the MAGI went crazy trying to track the patterns coming from on high and the ones in their own belly.

"Goddamnit, get Units Zero and Two to stop fighting, we have bigger problems!" demanded Misato, pulling on her hair as the stress level increased.

"Contamination in Unit One has vanished," said a surprisingly calm Ibuki, "The passenger is still alive, and has boosted Shinji's sync ratio to eighty-nine percent steady."

"SIR!" shouted Aoba, "Sensors are going down all over Tokyo-Three! JSSDF troops are attacking us!"

That got a reaction out of Gendo. It was _way_ too early for the attack to commence, and he knew without a doubt that the Mass Production Evas weren't finished yet. Or so he hoped, considering that SEELE always withheld something from him.

"Rei, get the Lance and retreat to the surface," he ordered, making tracks for his private elevator. "Unit One, sortie to the surface with Unit Two. All personnel evacuate."

There was stunned silence in the Tower at that final command, but obviously Gendo had something up his sleeve or he wouldn't dream of abandoning the Geofront.

"You heard the man, everybody up top pronto!" roared Misato, shooing the techs out as fast as she could.

All the while, the shaking never stopped . . .

_-(Tokyo-3, streets)-_

The masses, are rather what was left of them, fled in terror as the Eva units appeared on the surface, followed by the staff of NERV. The artillery on the ground opened up in their direction, while the troops attacked the security detail that was supporting the staff.

Those remaining in the survey team were clustered around Unit One, doing their best to keep any unsavory characters away from her.

The battle was fierce, as both sides ruthlessly attacked and counterattacked the other. Many fell on both sides. Yet there suddenly was a common goal when Ryo-Ohki appeared in ship form, and began firing wildly at anything and everything that moved.

"Ah great, here we go," deadpanned Washu, watching at not only Ryo-Ohki, but _Tsunami_ and _Sister_ got in on the act with strafing runs. Although after the first run, _Sister_ reformed into an operable mecha, ready to battle any foe.

The ground troops panicked when apparent alien reinforcements arrived. They had noticed a few odd-balls guarding the primary target, but to see even more of these odd-balls guarding not only the mecha but each other really got under their skin.

Especially when the two ships on attack runs would zip by overhead, unleashing white death at the forces below.

"We've got to get you out of here," panted Ayeka, who had quickly been forced onto the defensive by the bullets zinging through the air.

"Are you insane?" demanded Seina, "Not without Karin. Ranma would go absolutely ape-shit if we left her behind."

"She knows that," defended Tenchi, giving his cousin a hard look while slicing a few unfortunate NERV guards that had attempted a covert attack on them. "However, our mission . . . whatever the hell that is supposed to be . . . is not finished here."

"Forget it," barked Washu, "Ayeka is right, we have to get out of here. Whatever was in the bottom of the complex has either died or straight disappeared. My sensors don't detect . . . wait a minute, what the hell is that?" she pointed at Unit Zero, who was getting ready to throw the spear looking thing at _Tsunamis' Sister_.

"FUKU!" yelled Seina, even though the distance was too great for audio reception, "_Idol_, open the Wings!"

His message was conveyed by his link to the two, and they followed the command. Using the Light Hawk Wings of _Mizuki_, the standard Y pattern, did Fuku help to protect the front. Then _Idol_ opened her Wings, which brought the ground battle to a halt. The six, yes count 'em SIX, wing pattern started with a circular disk coming out of the back contained by another slightly larger disk, then two wings for each side was used from the protrusion, forming actual wings. The last two were used after that, forming smaller wings above the larger ones. (Anybody who has seen the GXP episode _Parallel_ will know what I'm talking about.)

Unit Zero did a three step wind up, then let fly the Lance of Longinus (damn it, I'm not looking that up) at what was assumed to be the greatest threat.

All were surprised when the Lance struck the Wings as a spear, hovered in mid-air, then morphed into a pronged one. However, since the Lance was supposedly created to puncture an AT Field, or Light of the Soul, it was having no effect on the Wings since they weren't made from Soul material.

Then something unexpected happened when the Lance completed unfurled, slithered around the giant white mecha, and reformed as a sword on _Idols'_ back. Seeing as in how that weapon was having no effect, the ground forces resumed their bombardment of the Evas and the Alien ships.

"Time to go!" declared Tenchi as bullets once again zinged through the air. Then he pointed up at Unit One. "How the hell do we get Karin outta there?"

Ranma was fighting like he had never fought before. There was no opportunity for any one on one match-ups, since the entire battle had been a melee. He was aware of the rest of the survey team pointing up at Unit One, then jabbering at each other, then pointing again. Instinctively he knew what they were arguing about, the best way to get Karin out of the purple beast. But there were too many firearms in play at the moment to allow Shinji the time to eject the Plug, get her out and reinsert without being sniped at.

Time to see what a tested attack would do on, say a group of five thousand.

After a quick morph back to Dark Seraphim, he took to the skies after saying three little words:

"For the Child . . ."

Immediately did the survey team and their reinforcements vanish into either _Tsunami_ or _Sister_, which then pulled into a higher orbit to avoid the attack. Ryo-Ohki wasn't far behind them in her own strategic retreat, taking careful note not to make a sound and break Ranma's concentration.

Unit One suddenly dove away from the projected impact zone, even though said dive didn't disrupt the passenger contained within. Zero and Two had begun to attack the heavy artillery, but since Rei was more in tune to her surroundings did she catch on that somewhere else was about to become a lot safer than where she was.

The ground came to life in an explosion of epic proportions. The earthquake caused by Ranma earlier had subsided only to the point of being a nuisance. But when the attack from above combined with the still occurring attack below, the Geofront collapsed on itself, then exploded outward with the force of a Baksai Tenketsu. Every single foot soldier and artillery gunner within a two kilometer radius was lost in an instant.

It was only the quick thinking of Shinji and Rei that saved the bridge crew. However Asuka was being stubborn and refused to move from her location. Eva could take a beating, yes, but from ten trillion tons of earth, concrete and steel?

"I'm okay!" came Asuka's voice as the left hand of Unit Two appeared from a pile of rubble. Rei and Shinji set the bridge crew back on the ground, having used the jumbo-sized hands as a mobile bunker. _Tsunami_ and _Sister_ came back down from the higher orbit that they had moved to at the beginning of the end.

Ranma, as himself and not a bringer of death, walked right up to the right foot of Unit One. He glanced around at the NERV personnel that were standing around, then back up at the Eva. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, Unit Two landed on him after a leap from the crater that was the Geofront.

"RANMA!" cried out those that knew him, even Karin who had by this point returned to the land of the walking and rearranged herself in the plug of Unit One.

Very slowly, so that if there were blood and guts everywhere she could hastily replant the appendage, Asuka moved the left foot of her Eva. Much to her surprise, as well as the surprise of those present, Ranma stood there with his arms crossed buried up to his chest in the street.

"Hey, that hurt," he deadpanned, giving a half-lidded glare at the red machine. "Could you watch where you step next time?"

_-(Universe A, Ranma year 2005)-_

Airi and Mikami had taken refuge in the Tendo residence after the local media became uber-persistent with their questions. Soun, Nodoka, Mousse, Ryoga, Nightmare, Kilik, Yunsung, Ivy, Maxi and Lucia stared at the intruders before deciding to leave them to their own devices. That was, until the prodigal child Akane returned from her visit on high. She received a mixed reception upon her return.

"AKANE!" "YOU!" "MY BABY GIRL!" "DIE!"

Yes, it was translated in that order. Once the hubbub of her return died down, the others noted that she was refusing to look at anybody let alone speak. Those that had uttered the promises of pain and death suddenly found a roadblock in the Homo-sapien-sized Tokimi.

"Stop now if you do not wish to share her curse," evenly stated the Goddess, "or her fate."

"Curse? Fate?" asked a bewildered Soun, before attempting to employ his Demon-head, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY GIRL?"

The third Goddess of Jurai just stared at what was normally an impressive technique. She noted that everybody else had backed away from Mount Soun, just to see him turn into an art sculpture in a fountain.

"It is the will of Kami-sama," she replied, "Nothing can be changed. Although, even somebody in my position would say that the punishment was _very_ harsh."

"And what punishment would that be?" wondered Nodoka, if nothing more than to have the information to relay to Ranma upon his return.

"Before or after Kimiko ripped her a new one?" smirked Tokimi in reply, taking a small pleasure in the reactions of the Saotome Matriarch and the Tendo Patriarch.

"Ouch," blurted Mousse and Ryoga at the same time. They had been around long enough to know which subjects to avoid with whom no matter what. They even had their limits with Ranma, not that they exercised restraint when they would be taunted and otherwise goaded into it.

"Her fate first then," stated Tokimi, "Since Akane here had a jealousy streak a mile wide of Ranma and his various abilities, from the Art to the way he could handle his own against anybody given enough time, it was decided upon by Him and a chosen Council that Akane would relive Ranma's life from the beginning of age five to the end of the Jusendo incident."

That got the natives to gasp, especially considering the training methods used by Genma on his only descendant. All present saw Akane give a reaction to the mentioning of Ranma's life story, sans the editor in his brain that would soften the impact it had on others.

She shuddered, then fell to her knees crying. She had held out on her reaction in the presence of Him, in hopes of at least some mercy. That and her stubborn streak refused to let such emotions show in the presence of her mother.

"And what of her curse?" quietly inquired Airi, taking some pity on the young woman before her regardless of recent circumstances.

"Soun, sit," barked the Goddess before answering, "Her Art is now part of her curse. She had been using it to bully and coerce others into her line of thinking. She would use it to beat Ranma, regardless if he deserved it or not. From this day forth, if she uses violence against another her intended effect will be transferred back to her. Akane Tendo is forbidden, by order of Kami-sama, the Seven Martial Arts Gods, the Greek Pantheon, and the Norse Pantheon, from practicing ANY Martial Art for the remainder of her life. And the next nine incarnations. Yes, for your information it _was_ taken to a vote."

Soun stood back up, taking the events better than was expected of the volatile man. He looked at Akane, then stormed out of the living room in the direction of the dojo. All was quiet for several minutes, until the sounds of heavy objects being broken filled the air. Those present from the Soul Calibur crew grew wide-eyed expressions at the mention of the Greeks and the Norns.

"Oh dear," breathed Nodoka, taking in the sight of a crushed Akane and a furious Soun.

"Like I said," sympathized Tokimi, "it was harsh. This is coming from somebody who has spent the last twenty thousand years in a dimensional prison. But it was deliberated within the Council chambers for nine hours before the sentence was carried out. The Greeks wanted her head, plain and simple, as an example."

"How will she defend herself?" asked Ryoga, the ever thoughtful one. Thoughtful of how to turn this to his advantage while finding a way to blame Ranma.

"Not with any help from you, he-who-is-cursed-to-turn-into-a-pig," growled Tokimi, before turning her attention to the rest of the people in the room. She ignored the way he blanched before continuing, "The other part of her curse, which does have its advantages, is that any who would or have lied, abused her mentally or physically, used her as bait against the Saotomes, or manipulated her with intent to harm will no longer give her excessive amounts of attention. This takes effect the first minute of tomorrow. She will still be able to function as a productive member of society as she will _not _ be isolated, but rather treated with indifference to counter-act her need to be the center of it all. We have set several criteria for her to redeem herself, the details of which she alone knows and cannot speak of."

The object of the conversation had stopped crying by this point, and was sitting there on the floor staring off into space. While not catatonic, Akane had decided that it would simply be easier to do an imitation of Nabiki's 'Ice Queen' persona. There was a stomping of foot steps from the dojo, preceding Soun who was still hot under the collar.

"Young lady, you are _GROUNDED_!" he roared, "Go to your room, and do it NOW!"

Akane didn't even flinch, she just stood up and mechanically walked to her room. The soft click of her door shutting was the only signal that she had made it without her usual gusto for noise.

"Soun . . ." started Nodoka, only to be cut off by the man. He let out a frustrated sigh, then turned to the wife of his old training partner.

"I have disgraced and dishonored this house enough over the last ten years, ever since I lost my wife," he said while sitting at the head of the table. "I had been too soft with her, had not been there when she or her sisters needed me. Instead I made my oldest wait on me hand and foot, the middle take care of the finances, and I let my youngest get spoiled rotten. Well, no more. Upon Ranma's return I shall ask him for forgiveness, then I will gladly turn this entire property over to him. It's not much, but it's at least a small reward for putting up with my stupidity."

Nobody dared to question the when part . . .

_-(Universe B, Star Trek year 2379)-_

Why has the story returned to this Universe? Just to take a quick look to see what changes had been made since the arrival and subsequent departure of our heroes.

"I don't believe this," quipped Commander Riker while looking at the viewscreen. On one side of the current split screen view was, surprisingly, an open subspace aperture. Their guests had left quietly, yes, but also left the Federation feeling like crap. Mostly due to their ally, the Klingons, taking part in the destruction of their capital ship. The other side showed two ships, again surprisingly, both decommissioned to be presented as a 'make-up' gift and all-around olive branch.

"You think I like this?" asked Picard with an even tone. He was masking his emotions the best at the moment, even though he had voiced his opinion to Command on the absurdity of this . . . offering. Word had come from Command on Earth that there were replacement ships available so that there would be no reason not to send the peace offering.

"I know you don't, especially not that particular ship," commented Counselor Troi, "But Command has spoken, and their will be done."

The two ships, at a complete stop in space, where the _Prometheus_ and the _Colorado_. Command had sent to specially programmed EMH II's out to pilot the ships into the aperture. They had also sent word that there were three completed _Prometheus_ class ships at the Utopia Shipyards. The _Nebula _they were parting with due to the age of the class, set to be completely retired in the next ten years. If all went well, but that's another story . . .

As a precaution, all of the external markings had been removed. Then the hulls had been painted a navy blue color, to throw off the Universe of origin. The computer cores were cleaned out, except for ship functions. The two holographic pilots would get the ships to their new 'owners', then the computer would self-destruct their matrices. This way at least the ships would _find_ their new Captains.

"They had better like the gifts from both the Federation and the Klingon Empire or so help me . . ." grumbled Worf, having been in charge of a quick refit. A few extra toys were included in the ships, further beefing the branch.

"_Prometheus_, _Colorado_ you are cleared for entry. God speed to you." said Picard from his chair, not bothering to stand up to watch as the former Starfleet ships vanished on their journey. He did note in his log that the aperture had finally closed . . .

_-(Universe C, EVA year 2015)-_

The NERV personnel were stupefied at the survival of an apparent human that had just been stepped on by an Evangelion. Many were uttering the "How, what, why, I need a beer" phrases, while the rest were staring in shock as Ranma extracted himself from the street. They all quieted down when Ranma casually strolled up to the foot of Unit Two and ripped a piece of armor off the right foot, then . . . tickled it?

"HAHAHAHA!" roared Asuka in a mix of anger at the damage done, and the fact that she herself was ticklish on that spot of her foot. Her laughing got worse when Ranma employed a Chestnut Tickle attack, then he leapt away as something that Akagi swore up and down was impossible happened.

It was a design oversight, but something organic like the Evas had to have the organs to purge themselves from time to time. Mostly it was highly controlled, since it was closely guarded that even the bio-mechas had to ingest something to stay alive without an operational S2 organ.

Controlled no more, Unit Two just pissed herself. Literally, both the pilot and the machine lost control in their fit of laughter. The systems in the plug handled that easily enough, but the red monster created a small lake where it stood.

"Now that I'm done playing around," said Ranma without humor, "Can I please have my friend back?"

Since the battle was over, there was no reason for Shinji to hog such, in his opinion anyway, a beautiful German to himself. Granted, he would never voice his opinions to anybody, lest a certain German pilot found out that he could be persuaded by a female with red hair. He hunched Unit One as low to the ground as she would go, then ejected the plug. Once it was done draining, he opened it to see Ranma standing on the left shoulder of his Eva.

Ranma was surprised when Karin leapt of out the plug, back to her usual full of life self. The only evidence of being shot was the hole in her shirt. She grinded ear to ear at Ranma, which unnerved him for a reason he had yet to fathom, but knew that the answer would be coming soon.

"I see you're feeling better," he quipped, before being smothered in a bear hug by the German beauty. His eyes grew to the size of dinner plates, daring to glance in the direction of his wives. Not so surprisingly was there money changing hands, most of it going to Kasumi. She simply smiled and waved back at him, a clear victor in the betting pool. Ranma let of a silent sigh in defeat, before rapping his arms around Karin.

"You saved me," she said through the tears that had begun to fall, "Just like Yuri had saved me all those years ago. So brave you are, Ranma Saotome, and I have no doubts about you anymore . . ."

"Ho boy, you too eh?" he remarked with no trace of sarcasm or reproach, "My life just gets better and better as time goes on."

"Time to go," came Washu's voice from right beside Ranma, making the pair leap into the air in surprise. When they came down they turned a joint glare in the direction of their group scientist, before heading in the direction of the remained of the group.

"Bring the ships down," directed Washu at Seina, "We've made too much of an impact here. It's high time we left."

"Uh . . . okay," he replied, not expecting somebody like her to give him an order as such. He then turned to the rest of his crew that was on the ground. Kiriko, Amane and Ryoko simply blinked back at him. Tenchi did likewise to Washu and Ayeka, looking in their direction as a challenge for them even being on the ground. Of course he knew where his Ryoko already was since Ryo-Ohki was hovering at a high altitude than _Tsunami_ or the back to the first form _Sister_. Ranma glanced at the Tendo sisters, and for the life of him couldn't figure out why the two nominal noncombatants were on the ground. Deciding that he'd be better off not knowing, he led Karin over towards them.

"Where do you think you're going?" demanded Misato, gun at the ready. Granted, it would be nice to have these rouge elements as allies, she had to at least attempt detainment for her reports. They were all going to catch hell from SEELE as is was on the loss of the Lance and the Geofront. Might as well make it look like she tried to redirect the anger of the oldest farts this side of anywhere.

"Somewhere far away from you, cutie," retorted Ranma, not liking to be threatened. Of course he realized that his mouth got away from him again, but would deal with it later. Especially since his group needed to have a long discussion of operation protocols.

"Flattery will get you nowhere," replied the woman with nearly the same hair color as Xian Pu in an even tone.

"Except in her bed," offhandedly remarked the redhead that had bladder control issues. Her attitude gave Ranma the creepiest feeling that if he and Akane had worked it out that this would be a dead ringer for his daughter.

"Whatever," deadpanned Ranma, turning away from the now enraged woman. Because he wasn't focused on the ensuing brawl, he was the first to see a shadow pass by at high speed. Glancing in the direction of travel did Ranma see two familiar shapes suddenly turn around, and quite cumbersome due to not having an atmospheric design.

"The hell?" demanded Hyuga, though nobody was trading names. He had noticed the ships because when they banked to turn they created sonic booms from presenting more air resistance than normal.

"Something's different about those ships," mumbled Washu before vanishing. To those that knew her, even on less of a basis than Tenchi did, it was not so surprising. Those NERV personnel in the area however, found it quite fearful that a person could up and disappear like that. Just as quickly she had disappeared Washu reappeared, further spooking the natives with her in and out behavior.

"Oh, you are gonna love this," she said to Tenchi, Seina and Ranma. "Our last . . . encounter left them with a bad taste in their mouth, and I'm not referring to the dumped septic tank. Those are now ours to do with as we please. The holographic pilots absolutely insist that the _Prometheus_ is Ranma's, while we should decide who gets the _Colorado_."

"It should be somebody in his group," offered Tenchi. "We already have two ships, Seina and his group have three. It would only be fair, considering that this does add to our resources. Not to mention those replicators."

"Let's discuss this somewhere else," hinted Karin while making a broad gesture with her left arm at the eavesdroppers.

"Right," sounded off the rest, before vanishing to _Sister_. The five ships quickly ascended from the atmosphere to head beyond the asteroid belt. This would hopefully blind those on this Earth that had not seen what had happened. The contamination was greater here than in the last Universe visited, and was leaving a very bad taste in the mouths of many amongst the groups.

When all members of the three parties assembled in the slightly cramped living quarter of _Mizuki_, did Ranma and the other two males break away for a brief planning session. They huddled together and whispered fiercely to themselves, knowing that there were many who could hear them anyway. All that they were trying to do was reach a compromise on the situation The three men quickly broke the huddle to turn to their groups to address the issues at hand. Ranma opened his mouth to speak, which surprised them all. This had to be either very serious or something right up his alley like war planning.

"First off, I gotta say I hate to do this but it is necessary," he started while looking through his crowd of followers. "Everywhere we go we end up in battle situations with our pants, skirts, kilts or whatever your preference is around our ankles. Before we had left the last Universe, the three of us decided to put you women to work . . ."

"Now just a damned minute!" roared the self-conscious independent types, like both Ryoko's.

"Let me finish," firmly stated Ranma, getting the rowdy ones to quiet back down. "We had a joint thought, that we should put you all to work in the fields you do best. With our fleet growing, and not knowing if we are going to make it home on the next try, we have got to be prepared."

"Thus the three of us sat down," continued Seina, "To figure out your strengths, weaknesses, and ego clashing that would have been counterproductive. We have set up several fields that we either don't have the time or the knowledge for. This is purely voluntary, we are ASKING you as a personal favor to us for your help."

"Coming from the only three males here without coercion," pointed out Nabiki, somebody who was familiar with that aspect of life. "Then they are probably right. I say we give them the chance to at least lay out their proposal outlines, and offer our refinements to come to an agreeable solution."

"Exactly," said Tenchi, "Which is why we have broken the areas that we cannot cover into areas of your interests. Like for example, we would like Kasumi, Neju, Urd and Peorth to be Medical. Ukyo, Xian, Ayeka, Ryoko, Ryoko and Gyokuren would handle food, hydroponics, and inventory of supplies, making them equally in charge of Moral/Nutrition. Nabiki, Taki, Mihoshi, Minaho, Amane and Haruken would handle Intelligence/Counter-Intelligence and if needed, Espionage/Sabotage. We feel that Washu could handle Engineering, with the assistance of Surien. Hild, Karen and Karin would be Security/Magic Trainers. Myself, Seina and Ranma would be the fleet Captains/Combat Trainers. Sasami has her hands full with the sapling _Miseto_, although she would be welcomed in any field that she chose."

"Does this sound decent enough to you?" queried Ranma, taking note on who was mumbling to who, and who was glaring at who with annoyance.

"Why the hell is Mihoshi in Intelligence?" demanded Ryoko H., "Isn't that like a contradiction of terms?"

"Hey now," reprimanded Tenchi, "You of all should know that she can be very effective when focused and reminded of why she's doing it."

The gun suddenly pointed at Ryoko's head made her blink then rethink her statement. Mihoshi had drawn her blaster without a sound, and moved eight paces without falling on her face.

"Point taken," admitted Ryoko, knowing that it would be better to surrender than to irritate Tenchi by proxy of Mihoshi.

"Besides," added Nabiki, "from what I have observed she would be a great asset to the Intelligence department because people would assume that airhead act was her real persona and let their guards down. I have studied her enough in the last few days to know this to be true."

"That and now you all can mingle," stated Ranma, "Get to know each other. It's been so action packed these last few days that we're still like strangers. Our arrangement also frees up the _Colorado_ for Intelligence, since the ship design is unassuming. Nabiki, I'd like you to Captain her. Minaho would be your First Officer and Amane your Second." This floored the Tendo woman, going above and beyond her wildest dreams and nightmares.

"Why are we planning out a war strategy?" wondered Ayeka, not that she could fault their logic on the issue.

"This is the formation of our army, as you all as the Generals," answered Tenchi, "We proposed those people in those departments because of their strengths. Of course the command structure would be decided amongst those in the departments, but not with the pretense that 'I was born to lead'. We are in this for the long haul, until we can get home."

"What about Cassandra and Xianghua?" voiced Taki, taking note that her friends were left out of the loop.

"They are not affiliated with anybody at the moment," replied Seina, "We don't know much about them since they keep to themselves. Especially since the incident on _Enterprise_."

"Yeah, they sure are quiet," sighed Ranma, "In fact, a little too quiet."

"We don't know what to do," came the soft voice of Cassandra, speaking for both. Everything that was happening since the leap forward was above and beyond them. They didn't know how to approach any of the males without threat of violence from the females. Tenchi and Seina looked at each other, jousting with their eyes about who would take who into their little world. Since Cassandra didn't like loud, Seina looked in her direction then back to his cousin. Tenchi agreed with a slight nod, now determined to get their minds operational to find out what they knew about what.

"Nabiki," said Ranma, "Let's go figure out our new toys. Hild, you and your group are with me." Thus the meeting ended with a tentative agreement in place for who did what. Those in charge of Medical went with Nabiki to _Colorado_ to get acquainted with the medical facilities there. Ukyo and the Hydroponics group left with Ranma for _Prometheus_ to see what could be done there, as well as figure out the mess hall. Washu and Surien stayed on _Mizuki_ for a bit, getting to know each other better.

Meanwhile, back on Eva Earth, life wasn't so good. Or so stated Gendo Ikari right before Eva Unit Five landed on him . . .

TBC

Will our heroes help out the Eva world? Will the arrangement be changed? Will I ever get a life and write something better?

Well, at least the first two should get answered in the next chapter . . . maybe . . .

Ja Ne!


	30. TGD 10

Disclaimer: Standard drill, I'm just borrowing the lemons to make lemonade for FREE.

Lightsfaith is the lucky one hundredth reviewer! Thanks for your support and the support of the other reviewers. Though I am disappointed at the lack of reviews. Some constructive criticism would be nice. I mean, c'mon, thirty-three hundred page hits (and counting, I'm not in the mood to change that number) and only a hundred reviews? Work with me here, I'm dyin'!

Rant: In the summary I said to queue the Empire theme. And I meant it, this is the beginning of the great adventure. Where I start there, well you'll have to wait and see . . .

The Goddess Dilemma, part ten

By Jim Ohki

"Wha-?" started to ask Misato, before having to seek shelter in a quick order to avoid the now rampaging Unit Five. That, and the white Eva had two brethren that were attacking Units Zero and Two. Six more transport planes had simply exploded in the sky, their intended delivery having a bug in the power system.

"We could really use those weirdoes that had attacked us!" yelled Asuka to anybody that would listen. Even with the surprise attack of the Production Models being of one-on-one combat, she was still having a very hard time. Her enemy was very persistent, not wanting to give her room for a counterattack. Taking a brief look in the direction of her fellow Eva pilots did she see them also engaged in hand to hand combat.

"Are you serious?" gritting Shinji with the amount of work he was having to put into trying to keep his opponent on the ground. He was the first to notice that these things would regenerate given an rest period, thus he was being relentless in his attack.

"I agree," came the soft voice of Rei, as usual trying her best to mask her emotions. She had known for some time that the Dummy Plug was about to be coming into play. She just hadn't realized that SEELE had three completed and fully operational MP Evas.

"Okay, this is bad," came the voice of Ibuki, "While the MAGI is still operational, which is good, they detect an incoming blue pattern. Very bad."

"Oh you gotta be kidding me!" roared Misato, again pulling at her hair, "More to the point, why are you so bloody calm?"

"Because I know Shinji-sama will save me . . . I mean us!" cutely answered the outspoken Lieutenant. She realized her error two seconds later, then at least had the decency to blush.

"Shinji, you ladies man!" cheered Kaji from his hidden location, further irritating Misato. She pulled out her gun and started shooting in random directions. One of her shots hit a surprised Unit Six directly on the core. Since it was surprised and couldn't raise its AT Field in time, the core cracked then died. Everybody, even the remaining MP Evas, blinked in stupefaction at that little tidbit before resuming the battle. Even though Unit One was now free to engage another enemy of choice. That was until the Fourteenth Angel appeared out of turn.

"We could still use their help!" pleaded Shinji, wondering just what was going to happen next. Then he wished he could kick himself for wondering that when his power cable got severed by an attack from his rear quarter by an MP with its double-handed spear/sword.

"Well, at least allow us to try!" demanded Hyuga, noting that with Commander Ikari turned into so much paste and the Sub-Commander missing that Misato was in charge.

"Do it," ordered Misato, taking in that Unit One was beginning to run low on power.

He had no problem complying with the order, and managed to get a signal to feed into every available SETI dish in the hemisphere. With a few key strokes Hyuga got the message sent and set it to repeat for twenty minutes.

"Please hurry," whispered Misato, as she gazed upon the Angel that had decided that now was a good time to attack.

_-(Mars Orbit)-_

"Oh am I so glad they left us with the owner's manual," commented Nabiki over the open communications channel. Once the two parties divided and boarded the two starships, the holographic pilots called each other and asked the same question to Ranma about ownership. The last security measure was a dose of cold water, which angered the young man. Since it was the curse they wanted to see he shifted into his female guise, which satisfied the requirements needed.

The computer erased the holograms at that point, leaving an open means of communication while Nabiki experimented. Actually it was an idea from Mihoshi that got the ball rolling, saying something about the AI of her ship being like an owner's manual. All Nabiki had to do was ask the computer for the specifications of the controls and interfaces, which she gladly shared with the other party on the bridge of the Prometheus.

"You and me both," answered Ranma, who had been challenged by Hild to learn the ship inside and out. Since he never refused a challenge, he had risen to the bait. After the first hour did the intellectual mind of his awaken, surprising those that could see it. Ranma had become proficient to expert in every function of his new toy. He had treated this like a new Art form, one that had to be literally studied inside and out.

Ranma had found the Multi-Vector Assault mode controls and learned how they functioned. He studied the helm, navigation, tactical, engineering, life support and the only science station available. There was one set of controls that he had no clue what they did. He thought it was a standard control setup since there was one on the _Colorado_. It wasn't until twenty minutes after Hild came back to the bridge from Main Engineering that it was noted that _Prometheus_ wasn't where she was supposed to be.

"Ranma," asked Kasumi, "Where did you wander off to?"

"What do you mean? You see me on the screen, don't you?" he questioned in return, noting that the one panel he hadn't touch had changed display color. He could see that Hild, in her wisdom, had sat on the thing like a barstool.

"Yes, I see you on the viewer," she answered, "But when I look out the window you aren't there."

That caused the members of the RSC onboard _Colorado_ to locate the nearest windows, moving from port to starboard, fore to aft, up to down angles. When nobody saw the ship that had their husband onboard, or the remainder of the RSC for that matter, they rushed back to the bridge. On the viewer Ranma was in the process of reading the untouched control screen, before the channel closed revealing the stars beyond. Just as Nabiki was about to jump across the bridge to reopen the channel, there was a sensor bleep and _Prometheus_ reappeared and began hailing.

Nabiki answered with haste, seeing Ranma barking at Hild.

"Damn it, you stay away from the cloaking controls! I was just glad that they left the user manual in the interface . . . Oh hi Nabiki! Miss me?"

_THUD!_

"What the hell is going on over there?" demanded the former Ice Queen, backed by the RSC members onboard her ship.

"Found another gift," evenly answered Ranma, "Seems they installed cloaking devices onboard these ships before giving them to us."

"Ah, so that's what that's for," noted Amane before remembering the dimensions provided by the schematics, "Ships this size have cloaking devices? Wow, that's gonna cause a stir when we get home."

The tones for tactical on both ships broke the conversation thread. Ranma pushed the commands to shut the annoying thing off. He looked at the readouts, and shook his head.

"Nope, not happening," he declared, "Send Seina in his mecha if you want to, I'm having no more to do with that world." That shocked those on both ships that were privy to the conversation. He had heard a few gasps, and elaborated. "Hey, one of those motherfuckers stepped on me. I'm not going through that again." Even more gasps at the colorful metaphor. Ranma just sighed, threw his arms in the air, then sat down in his chair. "I still say no."

"It would be better if Seina went by himself," added Surien, "We could easily break Sister done to the original ship forms, then let Seina go have some fun. He needs a more violent stress relief than what we give him."

_THUD!_

"That was too much information," deadpanned Nabiki on the viewer, "But Ranma does have a point. If there's one thing we have all learned from Washu is that we have tweaked this timeline too much as it is. They are already aware of _Idol_, as well as the rest of our fleet. But it would be better just to use the mecha and not give away our abilities."

The young man in question had just wrapped up his tour of _Colorado_ and was currently checking things out on _Prometheus_. Seina was in awe of the things on board the _Nebula_-class vessel, and was simply adding to the amount of wonder. His wandering took him onto the bridge, and right into the mists of those looking for him.

"Wanna go lay the smack down with that mecha of yours?" immediately asked Ranma before bringing the GP version of fodder up to speed. Seina was hesitant at first, but after hearing the whines coming from his group about being too aggressive he relented.

"All right fine, I'll go hog the glory," he joked before vanishing to _Idol_. As the others watched, _Mizuki_ and _Kamidake_ reformed into their combination. The giant mecha suddenly vanished, having teleported back to the scene of the battle.

"Ranma?" started Nabiki, only to get cut off. Not in the rude manner that is commonplace with interruptions, but with a simple gesture. Ranma had heaved a great sigh, before leaving the bridge of _Prometheus_. She looked at Kasumi, having a general idea what was to happen next.

"Family meeting," simply stated the oldest Tendo sister, "Bring the others, we are going to have to talk to him. I'll gather those that are over here."

_-(Tokyo 3, Streets)-_

Shinji had just hit the four hundred percent sync ratio. Things were looking bad for the heroes of the Eva world. Unit Two had lost both of her arms, while Unit Zero had lost her left. The two remaining MP Evas were circling their prey, eyeing not only the wounded Units but the big Kahuna in the form of the Fourteenth Angel and Unit One, which was snacking on said Angel. Yes, even the gruesome actions of their primary target gave the Dummy Plugs a good enough reason to pause.

That pause was rudely interrupted by a mecha taller than the Evas. Granted it wasn't much taller than them, but this mecha packed a punch.

Unit Five found out how much of a punch (hey, a rhyme) when Seina fired up the mini-black hole generator. The first of the MP Evas was swiftly crushed into so much of nothing, that the lone remaining enemy took several steps backwards. Not that it mattered, since the backward momentum carried it right into the grasp of the wild Unit One.

The two Units began to fight, rolling around on the ground trying to beat the other into submission. Unit One, being self-aware now, was having none of it. She started to thrash around, flinging away an arm or part of the chest cavity of Unit Seven, just to see it regenerate.

The NERV personnel were in a panic, most of them fearing for Shinji and the prolonged activity of the berserk Unit One. Others were still trying to cope with the entire situation, like the amounts of destruction that were everywhere. There was trepidation and some fear when the giant white beast had suddenly appeared from nowhere, but that was quickly put to rest when it attacked and destroyed Unit Five. Now it was just standing there, apparently waiting for an opening to attack. They hoped that it wasn't Unit One that was the target.

"Damn it, stop playing around," came Seina's voice over the hidden external speakers system at the Evas duking it out. Unit One suddenly stopped wrestling with the MP Eva, just to smash through its midsection to extract the core and plug the easy way.

Several people on the ground finally lost the contents of their stomachs, while Unit One simply threw the bloody gore away. Then the Eva turned to face the Mecha, although it was hard to tell if they were sizing each other up for the final attack or if the respective pilots (nobody was talking about the four hundred percent sync rate) were having a duel of wills.

So it came as a bit of a shock to see the still independent Unit One glomp onto _Idol_. Now Seina was in a panic, unknowingly sending a distress signal back to _Mizuki_ and _Kamidake_. He began to attempt to extract his Mecha from the clutches of the Eva, but with no success. Unit Zero, sans the arm, walked over and hit Unit One over the head.

"Behave," was the only world spoken by Rei Ayanami, taking it in with no small amount of joy that One sat down on the ground in an apparent pout.

"Who are you?" questioned the albino at Seina, surprised to see that the Mecha had holographic communications available. She received no reply to her inquiry, especially since Idol up and teleported out.

Once he returned to the staging grounds eighty klicks beyond Mars, Seina noticed that a certain pair of ships were missing. He willed Idol to track them, and found his wives forty klicks away from the Moon. He quickly called them, earning more than a few shouts of rage . . .

_-(Captain's Quarters, Prometheus)-_

"Now then, that wasn't so hard was it?" questioned Karin to anybody that would answer. The group, now leveled off at ten with Ranma, was eerily silent. Perhaps it was because Karin was brazen _-brave-_ enough to . . . service . . . Ranma if full view of the others.

Ranma was just coming back to reality himself, now sputtering gibberish while trying to ask questions. He sounded like a train wreck, and looked like a man that knew the time to die was nigh.

"Impressive technique," commented Hild, "But I think you done overloaded the poor lad." Then she began to critique the performance, which got Urd and Peorth going. The others, except for a happy Karin and a still sputtering Ranma, were turning red in a mixture of feelings.

"This is not what I had in mind," remarked Kasumi, "But it is a way to get this meeting started."

"Pointers?" deadpanned Nabiki, herself having taken notes on the technique.

"You know it," dryly said Ukyo. "To think, all she did was give him hea-"

"So, what's eating him?" asked Xian while pointing at Ranma, who was still looking like somebody that was about to die, making a point to cut Ukyo off. They shared a look, then looked at the rating of the fic, then sweated and decided to drop the issue.

"We need to get home," suddenly spoke the young man in question, after recovering from the major faux pass. "We have screwed up the two universes that we have visited, and our own must be in utter chaos. On the next attempt, if we don't get home, we will have to remain in the shadows. I speak selfishly, yes. That is because I can't take another life for no good reason. My control has been slipping, and I now have the blood of innocents on my hands."

There was silence after Ranma spoke. It was a surprise to hear him actually admit an issue that contradicts his normal behavior. On the flip side, if the didn't make it home on the next attempt, they were going to have to get supplies. Replicators were good, but they couldn't create everything.

While the debate erupted, led by Nabiki, Ukyo and Xian for their previous business experience, Seina and his crew had rejoined the small fleet. Washu had called those of the TMC over to _Tsunami_ for some genuine quality family time, as well as to announce that it was time to try again. The others persuaded her to wait for morning, since the events of the day had caught up with them.

When morning came, the families (and two oddballs) awoke refreshed and prepared for the attempt to get home. _Sister_ was reformed, even with the Lance on its back, _Tsunami_ closed ranks while _Colorado_ and _Prometheus_ were on point and flank. They had been ignoring the few messages from Earth, demanding answers, attendance and tests. Although one message did bother Ranma, saying "We know you have them, give back the Children." He ignored it in favor of not blowing something else up and making an even bigger mess than was already present.

"All right kiddies," cackled Washu, "Buckle your seat belts. Opening Dimensional Gate."

That was one thing that the small crews aboard the former Federation ships were thankful for, the chairs. Tenchi and Seina had to suffer with standing the whole time, either that or making a few of the others jealous with chairs.

The small fleet began to move, one by one entering the gate. The _Prometheus_ was the last one through, making sure that there were no followers. Just like the last time however, as soon as the ship touch the event horizon, there was a pitch and darkness . . .

_-(Universe D, Star Wars Episode Four minus 32 years)-_

"This is bad," cursed Tenchi, "very bad. Sasami, are you all right?"

"She is unconscious," answered Ayeka, "She just collapsed after passing through the gate."

"Hey, you all right over there?" came Ranma's voice. "We can't get a visual, talk to me guys."

"What happened?" asked Washu, who was wobbling, "Oh damn."

That got the quiet groaning of those onboard _Tsunami_ to stop. Washu was rarely one for the straight approach, so her simplistic statement set off many alarms in the minds of her extended family.

Once _Prometheus_ cleared the Gate, the crew got the ringing in their heads to stop and got the sensors back online did the problem become obvious. _Tsunami_ was drifting, the starboard engine spewing flame into the vacuum. Ranma had gotten a response from the crippled ship, which set a few fears at ease. Then came word that Tsunami herself was out of commission for an unknown quantity of time. The Masaki family was beamed over to _Prometheus_, Tsunami and Miseto set in sickbay for examination. More to the point, the tree of Seto refused to leave her granddaughters' side.

"How does she look?" inquired Ranma of the Goddesses as he strolled in the door. He took note of Seto's tree set in such a way that she was close by without being in the way.

"This is not good," stated a serious Urd, "The dimensional jump caused damage to her ship form, which manifested itself in her being. What we see here is her version of a healing trance, but her power is low because she is also trying to heal the ship."

"Tsunami, both the person and the ship, are out of commission for an indefinite amount of time," added Peorth, stepping slightly to the side to let Ranma stand between them. He took an arm of the Goddesses with his own before giving a slight nod to Peorth for her to continue. "It could take a week, five weeks, five years, or fifty years. We can't force her awake nor assist her because of the dual nature. We have set up a power transfer between ourselves and her, but that is all we can do."

"Definitely not good," mumbled Ranma to himself before speaking louder, "Seina's family is onboard; Tenchi and myself have delegated sensor duties to those familiar with using the technology and knowing what they're looking for. Seina's wives are in Astrometrics on both of my ships while Tenchi's are manning the long range sensors here, and on the Colorado. Seina himself went back to his shared ship to man the sensors there."

"Did you want us to help them?" asked Urd, squeezing Ranma's right arms with her left in a show of support of his decision.

"No, you two stay here with Tsunami and Seto. Keep them company, talk to them, and keep us informed of her condition," he replied, making a point to smile at each in turn before disengaging his hold and leaving sickbay to break the news to the others.

On the bridge, it was quiet. Those assigned to tasks were doing the best they could with the unfamiliar technology. The others were assisting with what they could, minus Washu who was doing an Extra Vehicular to look at the engines of _Tsunami_ up close. Ranma strolled through the lift doors, then informed everybody after hailing both _Colorado_ and _Idol_. He knew Washu was on an active communications link with Seina, since his ships were closer to the crippled Juraian Naval vessel.

"So that's where we stand," Ranma finished, "Now then, what have we found out about where we are?"

"From what the sensors tell us," replied the nominated spokeswoman Nabiki, "We are about seven parsecs from an inhabited planet. There is an extensive network up, which we easily tapped into." Here she paused to make sure Ranma was still with her. "This entire galaxy is crawling with life. Lots of interstellar travel, trade, piracy, and the like. The network, labeled as the 'Holo-Net', is a lot of things. A news service, library, map archive, communications, and the list goes on into things we have yet to crack." Another pause, to which Ranma nodded in thanks. "The nearest planet is called Geonosis, and we are apparently in an area called 'Wild Space'."

"Astrometrics to bridge," came the voice of Amane.

"Yeah?" queried Ranma.

"Ranma, you had better come down here to see this," answered Gyokuren, not knowing how to relate what she was seeing.

"All right," he stated with no little confusion, before closing the channel and gesturing to his wives that were on the bridge. "Let's go. The rest of you, keep up the research. We are stuck here for who knows how long."

Using the augmented Astrometrics sensors returned dividends since it would allow them to see what was happening up to thirty light years away. Pioneered in the Delta Quadrant by a rescued Borg Drone, the sensor package had been improved to the current level. On the sensor composite screen was an Earth-like planet, but what held the eye was the doughnut-with-a-bite-missing ships that were appearing from a form of Faster Than Light travel. Ranma, Nabiki, Karin, and Xian walked in the door not five minutes after the summons.

"This Holo-Net is great," commented Mihoshi, who was watching the events unfold while watching the galaxy's version of a soap opera. "Combined with these sensors, we can see virtually the entire galaxy from here."

"Uh, okay," said Ranma, not understanding the significance of the statement. "So, what is it that I'm looking at . . . oh, never mind." On the screen was a blockade of about a dozen ships, all with the basic design of a doughnut, missing a bite, with the doughnut core floating in the middle of the ring. He took note that the blockade quickly fanned out, then began deploying fighters that looked like a giant H.

"This is a live feed from Naboo," Amane informed the others, "Those ships in orbit belong to a group called the Trade Federation. If this galaxy is this violent, using entire fleets to blockade one planet that doesn't have a fleet of its own, then we need to be prepared with a base of operations."

"And a shipyard," added Gyokuren, drawing the attention of the others in the room onto herself. "The plans for everything we need was recovered in the computer memory. By everything I mean docks, mining facilities, stations, defense platforms, even long range sensor buoys."

"Right," dryly said Ranma, "All right, gather up a report. Gyokuren, you give yours to Seina. Mihoshi, yours goes to Tenchi. Nabiki, work with them. Xian, go back to the bridge and have the sensors look for uninhabited planets, rich with the resources we need and somewhere in this sector, since it seems the natives haven't explored here."

"You sound like you're gearing up for war," noted Amane. It took Ranma a moment to remember that the people in the lab hadn't heard the news of Tsunami yet, and informed them.

"Not war," he finished, "Just making it so we survive."

Those not assigned to stay in the lab and monitor the situation in the Naboo system left Astrometrics. They all had various others things to do and thus went different directions.

A couple of hours later found the three males in the conference room of the _Colorado_. They had to persuade their families to stay out, as their opinions were already well noted in the reports, since nothing would get done if any infighting started.

"The hell kind of mess are we in?" Tenchi asked his cousins, running bother hands over his face in the universal tired and stressed posture.

"How's Tsunami?" asked Seina in a conversation change.

"Minimal change," answered Ranma, seeing that Tenchi was stressing out excessively over many events that were beyond his control.

"Washu says she knows why the starboard engine blew," spoke Tenchi, "But she won't tell anybody, except that she found something that wasn't supposed to be there."

"Figures," deadpanned Ranma before turning semi-serious, "Okay, well. We are stuck here, and there's much of nothing we can do about it. Tenchi, relax man. Shit happens, and always at the worst time possible. The girls are right though, we should gather resources and begin construction on a base, shipyards and the like."

"That's true," concurred Seina, "If we find a habitable world here, we can always set it up as a way to get out of space and back to ground-pounding."

"No argument there," said Tenchi.

"We are going to have to reassign the girls," stated Ranma, "There is so much more to cover now, and a few areas that I know only a few can do. Kasumi would be Medical/Diplomatic, Nabiki moves to Finance/First Officer, Ukyo to Supply Acquisition/Second Officer, Xian to Basic to mid-advanced Hand-to-Hand/Tactical. Urd and Peorth are out of action for a while. Hild would handle Archiving. Taki would be Security/Astrometrics, and Karin would be Chief Engineer/Navigation. We would all be stationed on _Prometheus_, leaving _Colorado_ open for you Tenchi."

"I guess I could handle that," the young Masaki said, "Okay, Washu could be Medical/Chief Engineer, Ayeka Diplomatic/Finance/First Officer, Ryoko Security/Astrometrics/Second Officer, Mihoshi Tactical/Supplies, and Xianghua Hand-to-Hand."

"Just keep her focused," joked Ranma, before turning to Seina. "You know your command structure. I don't expect you to change that, what we will do if we have to is send three from each group out. Like if we need allies, Kasumi, Ayeka and Minaho would deal with it."

"Sounds good to me," agreed Seina, "Of course I'll have to talk to them about this."

"I understand," stated the other two cousins in the room at the same moment. All three knew getting in the bad graces of their wives was not desired. They continued to talk about mundane things, when Washu appeared.

"GAH!" all three exclaimed at her sudden appearance, dressed in her EV suit.

"Whoops," she said playfully, "Did I scare the boys?"

Washu was brought up to speed on the several changes that were proposed to happen. She was in complete agreement, before diving into her report.

"The starboard engine of _Tsunami_ blew for a few reasons," she explained, using the screen in wall for visual aides. "The first and foremost reason, one that she will kick herself over later, is that the ship hadn't seen a dock in seven hundred plus years. The onboard self-repair systems can only do so much, for an example the long range communications array of Ryo-Oh was inoperative when Ayeka appeared at Earth."

Ranma had been lost by Washu already, but decided not to give an outward sign of it. He paid attention, gathering what he could, before giving up and zoning out to his special place. The land of combat, only it had changed from his normal 'beat the crap out of the enemy' to running firefights in space, on the ground of different planets, then the beat downs. He was still out of it when his senses detected two more people in the room that weren't there five seconds ago.

"This is another reason," continued Washu while gesturing at their guests. "Completely unintentional, I can assure you, but their . . . rides . . . didn't exactly fit between the hull and the engine."

"And they are?" demanded Tenchi with an even tone.

"Shinji, Rei, why did you do that?" Ranma asked of the teenaged Eva Pilots. He noted that Shinji had his head lowered and wasn't looking at anybody.

"We ran away," came the soft whisper of Rei, full emotionless mode engaged. Shinji seemed to cringed at the bluntness of the answer before nodding in agreement.

Before the question and answer session could continue, the doors to the conference room opened to admit Mihoshi and Xian.

"There isn't a door lock anywhere that can keep a Kuramitsu out," drawled Washu before the new arrivals could begin to speak.

"Ranma," said Xian to keep Mihoshi from going into a twenty minute rant about being picked on, "Tenchi, Seina. We have found an uninhabited planet two light years distant, on the edge of this sector. Very-Earth like, with several resource asteroids and moons."

"Excellent work," commented the three cousins, then Ranma took over, "Take us there. We need to set up our defenses, mining platforms and a shipyard. We're stuck in this universe, so let's make the most of it."

"I'll tow _Tsunami_," said Seina as he stood up to leave. Quickly he, the girls, and the guests were gone leaving Tenchi alone with Ranma . . . who had taken the Gendo Ikari pose, seated variation with death glare without even knowing it.

"Talk to me," Tenchi prodded, "What is going on?" Ranma sat back in his chair, losing the pose to run his hands over his face.

"A very bad feeling," answered the pigtailed warrior, "My gut is telling me that this galaxy is about to be turned on its head. And not by anything we do, more like a natural course. That blockade is the beginning of . . . something enormous." The last part was said with a small flailing of arms, the universal 'I don't know' gesture.

"So for now we should remain hidden," continued Tenchi, now understanding part of the situation. "But what happens if we get drawn into this supposed war?"

"Haven't thought that far ahead," admitted Ranma, "Right now, I'd rather make it so that everybody can get comfortable and relax. This way when, and if, the action starts we'll all have sharp senses."

"True," agreed his cousin.

It had taken almost a solid day to travel to the planet. Not because of inoperative warp drives, but because _Sister_ was having a hard time getting _Tsunami_ to move, so the others flew in a cover formation. On the journey, Seina was filled in on Ranma's thinking. He agreed with his cousins, especially since only one ship had made it from the world known as Naboo. The Astrometric sensors, coupled with the Holo-Net emitters throughout the galaxy made it easy to see what the craft looked like, and where it went.

Once in orbit of 'New Earth', the three crews took some rest and relaxation before getting to the nitty gritty. First thing that was built was four construction ships, the designs recovered from the computer cores of the former Federation ships. Washu had done some probing to see what was lost and what was recoverable, and found the designs for everything they would need. She was . . . persuaded . . . to not make any modifications to weapons systems. But anything else she could try something new.

One construction ship started on the Starbase, one on an orbital mining station, one on the shipyards, and the last on a dilithium mining platform. The mining facilities were up and running in no time, so one ship would go help with the Starbase while the other helped with the shipyards, getting those operational within another day. Then all four fanned out, in all directions, to build the defense turrets and sensor grids.

While that was happening, the planet was mapped from orbit. The safe areas were marked for exploration by a few from each crew. There were seven good looking spots near a water source, that translated into a food source with the wildlife. Ranma, Xian and Karin were looking at one in the northwestern hemisphere, in the temperate climate zone. Tenchi, Ryoko, and Xianghua were looking at one in the southwestern hemisphere, in the tropical climate area. Seina, Amane and Ryoko were looking at one in the northeastern hemisphere, in a moderate climate. The three survey teams consisted of nothing but fighters, chosen by straws. Well, the cousins were going to ensure safety (male ego, full power).

Their activities had gone unnoticed since they were in an uncharted and unpopulated system. It had eleven planets, an asteroid belt, and numerous moons chock full of the materials that they would need. The stations, minus the Starbase, were rigged to be fully automatic.

That leads into the newest problem: the lack of personnel to man the base and future ships. A group meeting was held to discuss the issue, and the closest to an agreement that they came to was the cloners of Kamino. With the planet being a quick warp away, it was decided that after the surveying mission was completed they would pay the cloners a visit.

Ranma, Ryoko H., Washu, the Goddesses and Demon Queen were excluded for the obvious reasons. Those remaining elected to go with it, to see what would happen.

The last of the teams beamed back aboard the _Colorado_, sharing the same basic find with the others. No humanoid life, nothing overtly dangerous. Plenty of wildlife, clean water, and space to build housing. It had been decided upon to colonize the planet as a way of having a place to go to get out of space. Ranma and his crew returned to _Prometheus_, satisfied with leaving _Colorado_ behind to assist _Sister_ with the defense of _Tsunami_ and their temporary-new home.

"Well, let's go see these cloners," chorused Nabiki, eager to see what kind of business she could do in an entire galaxy teeming with life.

"You are aware that they may not look like us Sugar," pointed out the ever helpful Ukyo.

"Yeah, and I'm aware that we might get nowhere but dead," she answered, demonstrating her knowledge of having surfed the net of this galaxy, just to see the amount of cut-throating and backstabbing that made up the day-to-day business entity. That didn't even cover the Underground, a place that she had NO desire to go.

"Course inputted," spoke Karin, after having the navigational computer make the warp route with the newly acquired galactic map of pitfalls, asteroids, black holes, gravity wells, and every other cosmic phenomena.

"Take us there," spoke Ranma from the chair that legends are made from. He had adopted, after a three-way fight with his cousins, that saying as his catch phrase for space missions.

The _Prometheus_ got out of the gravity well of the system's star, then engaged at warp eight for Kamino after cloaking . . .

_-(Universe A, Ranma year 2005)-_

Midnight came to the Tendo residence, only to find the entire house and its guests wide awake. Ryoga was in pig form, mostly to shut him up. He had been ranting for hours about revenge on Saotome this and that, life is hell this and that, blah, blah, blah. The surprise came from when Akane dosed him, then went back to her impassive stare at the koi pond. He tried to be the pet pig, all that earned him was a whap on the head by Cologne. Mousse was being silent because this really had nothing to do with Xian, and the Elder threatened him with nothing short of a painful death if he misbehaved. She wasn't taking anything this night, that was for certain.

"It's time," said Tokimi at twelve oh one, instantly did Ryoga freeze in his movements. He cocked his head side to side, as if examining what he was looking at. Then his entire body froze, like a computer crash. It restarted five minutes later, just to repeat the motions. This happened eight times before the phone rang, making all present jump. Nodoka answered, before passing it to Tokimi.

"Ah," said the Goddess, "Yes Kami-sama? Understood." After hanging the phone up, she punted Ryoga out the door and over the horizon. The others, minus the still impassive Akane, turned surprised looks in her direction. "His program code was causing a software crash in Yggdrasil. That was the only way to fix it."

"And when he comes back?" asked Soun with an even tone.

"Who said he'd ever be back? He was one of the irritants that Kami-sama was looking to have removed," answered Tokimi. "In compensation of this, we have fixed his directional problem. However, steps have been taken to insure he can never find his way to any place that Ranma Saotome has been, or ever will be, at."

"No cure for pig-boy then," sang Mousse, before completely deflating at the look the Goddess gave him.

"You're next," she said, with death glare at full. "However, since your actions against Ranma have not been as severe as Porky, we are going to be lenient in regards to him. Abuse this, and you share the same fate. As for your precious Xian Pu . . . you get the same treatment Akane has received."

His eyes became as big as plates before shrinking back down to size. He looked at those gathered in the living room and spoke.

"Who?"

_-(Universe D, Star Wars Episode Four minus 32 years)-_

_Prometheus_ reappeared in the system not a day later, hails instantly going out to the two remaining functional ships.

"Talk to me," Tenchi stated to the viewer, which had switched over to show Ranma in the big chair.

"Success," said Ranma, "on a marginal scale. We had to cut them a deal, since somebody just placed a gigantic order. Ours will be ready in a month, then we are on our own."

"How big of an order?" asked Ayeka, something making her senses tingle.

"Somewhere around a million units," answered Nabiki, "Paying insanely large amounts too. The whole thing doesn't sit right with me."

"Sounds like a war machine," commented Ryoko, earning nods on both bridges.

"What deal did you cut?" wondered Washu, her left eye slightly twitching.

"Most of it is that we help defend the planet," supplied Kasumi, who still looked in awe of what she saw (wow, another rhyme). "Some of our minor technology, like the defense platforms is the rest of the deal."

"There goes the neighborhood," deadpanned the scientist, "It was bad enough that we were going to have to go to the natives for quick crews, but to have given them technology that isn't even of this galaxy?"

"Don't worry," assured Hild, "We did some digging, and found a design that is so old it looks like a small upgrade here. The damage should be minimal."

"Sorry to interrupt," came Surien's voice, "But there is a major offensive happening on Naboo."

The viewers of both ships switched to a feed from the Astrometrics labs, zoomed in to maximum. On the ground were no less than five thousand Battle Droids, advancing on the native Gungan army. It had been noted that the ship that had slipped out a week prior had returned, but since nothing had happened until now nobody said anything.

Then the forces met, a firefight unlike anything even Ryoko Hakubi had ever seen erupted. The Gungans were using something that was a cross between nitro glycerin, and an EMP bomb. The Droids were using auto-repeating blaster rifles, thermal detonators, and had artillery support.

Then the view switched to the capital city, Theed. There was a running firefight there with a small detachment of guards and the Droid garrison. The detachment disappeared briefly, then the small force of fighters took to space.

The view switched again to what had been painted as the Droid Control Ship, which was launching fighters. The main blockade fleet was too far away to render immediate assistance, thus there was a small window of opportunity to attack.

"Jesus," breathed Haruken, "This is heavier than when Seina took on the pirate fleet."

"Yeah," whispered Karen, "there's so much more to keep an eye on. The two battles on the ground, which are heavily tipped in favor of the attackers, and the fight in orbit."

"Hey," suddenly said Ranma, "Why'd that fighter fly INTO that Doughnut?" Never let it be said that Ranma would learn the proper designations for anything that didn't personally involve him.

The ground battle came to a screeching halt with the apparent defeat of the natives. The Plains and Theed became quiet, prisoners being moved about. Much the same was happening in space, fighters being shot out of the vacuum.

Then, much to the amazement of the crews on the three ships, the DCS started to explode. That fighter from earlier came screaming out of the docking bay, beating a hasty retreat with the survivors as the ship blew itself apart. The Droids on the ground suddenly went offline, insuring victory in the Battle of Naboo to the natives.

"That took all of ten minutes," said an awed Amane, "Okay Ranma, if we weren't sold on this universe being hostile, we certainly are now."

"My battle instincts are nearly perfect," boasted the pigtailed warrior. "Not absolutely perfect, as there is no such thing as perfection. Even I know we all make mistakes."

Time passed relatively quick from the Battle of Naboo. The planet had a small city set up, awaiting its population to arrive. The shipyard was producing ships at an insane rate. In the twenty-nine days it had been in operation, it had churned out an entire armada, from _Venture_-class scouts to _Sovereign_-class capital ships. It had been decided not to have any _Nebula_'s or _Prometheus_'s built, to distinguish the two command vessels from the rest of the two hundred forty ship fleet. The shipyard had expanded to ten docks, each capable of holding twenty-four ships of varying sizes. Having been completely automated had allowed the facility to spit out ships left and right, then Washu would go over each one with her sophisticated scanning system to get any errors fixed.

There were no fatal errors in the new fleet, most of it was adjustments to the electronics packages to reduce power consumption. One had the warp core upside-down, even though it worked just fine.

When she wasn't doing those scans, or repairing the engines on _Tsunami_, Washu would do a set of tests on each person to insure that the universal travel wasn't creating a quantum sickness that would be fatal as soon as it appeared. They had been very fortunate thus far not to stumble onto a universe that would straight out kill them for the quantum signature being way out of whack.

The thing Washu did find was that the aging process for everybody had stopped. Her family and Seina's was easily explainable: natural Juraian Longevity. Those that were non Juraian in the groups had voluntarily under gone a DNA splice, to grow old together.

Ranma's family, however, how no such age defying thing done to them. None of them were aging though, and it was driving her bonkers. Putting it on the shelf until they got home was a better idea, so she set to making a stable connection to their home universe. She had nothing but time to do it.

On the thirtieth day, Ranma lost the services of Nabiki and Xian. They silently were overjoyed at getting much needed R and R, thus were moving quickly into the prefabricated city on New Earth.

"Computer," began Amane, "Link up with fleet data network. Establish temporary control of engines, navigation, shields and weapons."

"Link up complete," responded the computer several seconds later.

"Cloak the fleet. Set course for Kamino, warp eight," ordered Ranma, "Take us there."

Karin swiftly complied, in awe of the massive fleet behind her that jumped to warp with them. The trip to the cloners planet was uneventful, even if this was a shakedown cruise for almost the entire fleet. They entered orbit and decloaked _Prometheus_, just like they had in the first encounter. After talking to the Kaminoans, they began to beam the crews into the ships they would be stationed on. Their order was for ten thousand clones using various DNA samples in multiple combinations, each 'programmed' to the specifications provided. Half were trained Marines, one thousand were in various levels of Command, another thousand in Tactical/Security, another group of a thousand in Engineering, yet another thousand in Medical and the last group of a thousand in the Construction Corps to handle city building, miscellaneous station repairs and the like.

It didn't take long for the new crews to get acquainted with the ships systems of the fleet. Those specifically for Command already knew their ranks and positions, eliminating any fighting there. _Prometheus_ didn't disengage the computer link until all ships reported green. Then the fleet, complete with extras and passengers, traveled back into the New Earth system.

The people of Kamino were glad that they were gone. They had to 'rush' produce an insane number of clones for them, piggy-backed on the order from the Jedi. Hopefully they wouldn't mind the slight delay in production. Too bad it wouldn't be for another ten years until somebody came to collect . . .

The fleet came in hard, then gracefully slowed to return to their berths in the docks. The Engineers had every vibration and power spike noted, and were going to fix them. The extras that weren't used went planet-side with the ground-pounding foot soldiers. Not that they would be there for long, as the shipyards kept spitting various classes of ships out.

Nine months later, the groups were celebrating the birth of the next generation. Nabiki and Xian both had boys (much to the annoyance of the Amazon), named Ranma Junior and, after her own father, Hairbrush. Ayeka and Mihoshi had a pair of girls that, in honor of both the still unconscious Tsunami and the Queens that kept that pompous-ass Emperor in line, were named Misaki and Funaho. Although it created a weird picture to have a blond Funaho. Kiriko and Balta had the mix, a boy for the GP officer and a girl for the ex-pirate. The boy was named Seina Junior, as a way to poke fun at Ranma, while the girl was named Ranko, to further the poking. The celebration lasted into the night, all of them safe and secure knowing that they hadn't been found out yet.

_-(Nine years three months later, AotC. Episode Four minus 22 years)-_

The activity in the galaxy was shifting closer and closer to all out war. The Confederacy of Independent Systems, CIS, or Separatists as they were known was gaining strength. Our heroes were stuck in their sector due to them setting up camp on Geonosis. While that meant they couldn't get at Kamino to place another order as the fleet had grown to nine hundred ships, that didn't mean they couldn't explore the arm of the galaxy that they were in. No active humanoid civilizations were found, but plenty of ruins had been uncovered by the sensors on various planets in several systems.

The families had grown, each of the reaming females minus the unconscious Tsunami now having one child each. New Earth had blossomed from a few thousand to almost ninety thousand strong as the three groups had encouraged the clones to mingle, make friends, have families and the like since they weren't in any combat situations. Not that the Alpha male, Ranma, would let them get soft. He first tackled the Marines, training them in hand-to-hand. Then he went after the ship crews, keeping them in top form with drills and exercises. He ran them through a massive space battle, one half of the fleet versus the other in a giant game of space laser tag.

For almost ten years had this been going on, with the hands on instruction and encouragement of 'The Family', as the clones had dubbed them.

Then the war began, right next door. It gave them front row seats to the beginning of the end . . .

"Admiral," came the voice of a clone named Kirby, "eight Republic ships have just reverted to realspace from hyperspace. They are preparing their attack on Geonosis."

Ranma frowned, as he hated all of this formal crap, from the bridge of _Prometheus_. Only the best were selected to be onboard the flagship, since its survival was paramount. Just like _Colorado_, _Sister_, and a now functional _Tsunami_. At least the theory was that she was functional, but without the Goddess herself nobody knew for certain.

"Lieutenant," said Ranma, "On screen. Call the Family, have them come aboard."

"Aye," was the response as the man at tactical went to work on his tasks. Not five seconds later did the adult members of the family appear on the bridge, cramping it to no end.

"Hey, what's the big . . ." started to demand Hakubi, before noticing the action on the screen. "Oh shit."

"That's an understatement," quipped Ayeka with a smile, watching as dropships and troop transports left the bays of the destroyers.

"Damn things look like a deformed pizza slice," deadpanned Tenchi, who was getting a craving for food from home. He was the first to notice the non-aging of anybody in the three families, his inquiries generating very little hubbub since the others would like to return home somewhat in the condition they had left in.

"Maximum magnification on the surface," spoke Seina, watching as the viewer shifted to reveal the running ground battle. "Those Super Battle Droids are new, aren't they?"

"Yeah, but the Republic has them outnumbered and outgunned. Look at the number of AT-TE walkers, with the aerial support of the Assault Gunships."

"The Republic's been busy," remarked Nabiki, who still had her sharp eyes. "Everything down there is new, even the destroyers in orbit don't have a scratch."

They watched as the Republic troops pushed the CIS army back, then took the Command Spire. The Separatists were in full retreat, attempting to get their ships in orbit. Many were shot back down, while a few did escape since the destroyers were coming in low for pick-ups. The ground battle was rapping up, before the Holo-Net began broadcasting the feed from Coruscant. Thousands of troops were being loading into the _Venator_-class Assault Cruisers. Each ship was just over a kilometer long, capable of atmospheric entry.

"Ho boy," quipped Ranma, "Now my bad feeling sees the light of day." He had shared his feelings with the members of the Family, so it was no surprise to hear the statement.

"Should we deploy?" asked a Commander, whose name couldn't be remembered.

"Not yet," answered Seina, "This looks like a self-defense counterstrike to me. Then again, with those first generation Star Destroyers getting geared up, I'd say the party has just started."

It would take another two years before Seina would eat those words . . .

_-(Two years later, RotS. Episode four minus twenty years)-_

"Why the blazes aren't we helping the Republic?" demanded a Captain, that obviously was a cross between Nabiki, for her cunning, and Seina, for his need for action. The Captain was a female, as the original order had specified. Splice the genes, accelerate the growth, don't interfere with the sex.

"Because, my gut says now is not the time," smoothly answered Ranma, sitting in his chair on the bridge of _Prometheus_. On the viewscreen was the Battle of Coruscant, a surprise attack by the CIS to abduct the Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. The Family had seen the entire event from the beginning, and knew it was a ruse. There was no way that the CIS fleet got that deep into Republic territory without some internal assistance. The thing of it was, they didn't know who yet. Not that it stopped Nabiki from her old tricks with the betting pool. With the one hundred thousand residents of New Earth getting antsy for action, and they've been trained/programmed to live for, it get them a medium of temporary relief.

"Look at that, General Grievous' ship is breaking up," cheered Kiriko. "This is why we don't assist them, they don't need it yet."

"Not to mention that Palpatine rubs us wrong, even from the other side of the galaxy," offhandedly remarked Neju, who was scowling at the viewer.

"No argument there," agreed the Captain, "It just that the cork is about to come out of our bottle if we don't do something."

"CIS ships moving on Kashyyyk," came the voice of a Second Lieutenant in Astrometrics, "We have their base as Utapau, but the leaders have moved on. Looks like their ship is headed in the direction of Mustafar."

"Something is very wrong here," grumbled Tenchi, "The charts say that Mustafar is hostile to most life-forms, simply because of the volcanic activity. Why would anybody want to hole up there?"

"This is the work of Palpatine," came Ayeka's voice as she entered the bridge, "It took me long enough to see it, but it has to be true. He is gaining more and more power by the day, while this 'war' is not really going anywhere."

The debate raged for nearly two weeks before everything changed. With the stubbornness of a Jedi did the Republic fall, mutated and transformed into the Empire. Palpatine appointed himself Emperor of the galaxy, and got praise for it. He had led the blind right into the furnace, and was now laughing at them as they burned.

"Time to mobilize," said Ranma suddenly, startling those on the _Prometheus_. It was night shift, so he wasn't expected until morning. The others in the Family suddenly appeared on _Prometheus_, _Colorado_, and _Sister_.

"The Fourth through Tenth Fleets will remain here to guard the home," came from Ranma's mouth, "Our first objective it to secure Kamino. We might need their services in the future, and as this is part of our contract, we will do what we can."

The cousins had shut the shipyards down at a solid thousand ships, ten Fleets comprised of ten ship classes, ten of each in a Fleet. The Fleets all had the same type of ships, ten _Ventures_, ten _Iwo Jima_, ten _Defiant_, ten _Intrepid_, ten _Aegian_, ten _Galaxy_, ten _Sovereign_, ten _Akira_, ten _Streamrunner_ and ten _Repair_.

The _Venture_-class was switched from scouting/surveying to an attack fighter. The _Iwo Jima_'s were for the Marines, for either planetary insertion or ship boarding. The _Defiant_-class speaks for itself. The _Streamrunner_'s were for artillery support, since this class used a long range torpedo and sensor package. The _Intrepid_-class ships were for hit-and-run maneuvers, and for diplomatic missions since these looked less like a warship. The _Aegian_-class was something new, a frigate that was useless on the front lines, but pretty handy because of the shield augmenting that the frigate offered. The _Akira_, _Galaxy _and _Sovereign_ classes were for the teeth of the Fleet. The _Repair_-class ships, just like the _Defiant_, speak for themselves.

All of the ships were equipped with holographic emitters, cloaking devices, transphasic weaponry and shielding. While it would make them very formidable, it was a circulated wish that they never did see actual combat.

"How are we going to do this without getting the attention of the Empire?" asked Nabiki, speaking for quite a few both in and around the Family.

"Those holographic emitters on the hulls," answered Tenchi, "We're going to sit on the edge of the system, using Geonosis on our flank as a blinder, and look like one of their fleets."

"I say we stay here," came Seina's voice, "Guys, this feels wrong. We've been watching events unfold, as apparently they were meant to. Things we take for granted are gone here. It went from a democracy, albeit a poor one, to a dictatorship. Now there's this Vader roaming the stars, doing his slice and dice as he's told to by the Emperor. I still say it's too soon to make our presence known here to anymore species than we've already contacted."

The bridge fell silent, those in the Family taking into consideration what the GP officer had just said. Many agreed with his thinking, feeling that they were about to rush into something without being truly prepared for it.

"Look guys," said Ranma as he wiped his face with his hands, "You win, okay? We won't defend any systems but our own, however as a counter I say we go make diplomatic ties with those that are against this Empire."

"And that would be?" quipped Nabiki, silently cheering that this was something that was right up the alley of her sister.

"Look at the Senators, Ambassadors, and other diplomatic corps that are leaving Coruscant," pointed out Ukyo. "Find out where they call home is, then we come. The question is, what are we going to offer them in exchange?"

"No technology," immediately came from Amane's mouth. "Fleet movements of the Empire, that special project of theirs in the Corporate Sector, stuff like that is fine."

"Upgraded charts and maps," added Mihoshi in a moment of insight.

The Family settled in for a nice, long, friendly debate about what would be the best course of action. Once that was agreed upon, the Second Fleet set out for the worlds either teetering on the edge of rebellion, or already openly defying the Empire . . .

It took another twenty years of tiptoeing before an event happened, that turned the galaxy on its head, spun it around, then kicked it in the balls.

_-(Episode Four)-_

"God damn it," cursed Ranma, "Get a hold of the Third Fleet, tell them to get their asses in gear! Kasumi is on Alderaan, get her outta there pronto!"

The clone crews suddenly knew fear. For the last twenty plus years of their slow aging life had they lived it in relative peace. Now that peace has left the starship, as Ranma paced the small area in front of his chair on _Prometheus_. Like a caged animal, waiting the right moment to strike out at the unsuspecting victim.

They had done right, for a change, by seeking out those that opposed the Empire. The ships were always cloaked, with a bulk of whichever fleet that was making contact staying further back yet close enough to give aid quickly. The Rebel Alliance had formed, with the Family having negotiated many agreements between the races.

Then the Empire began its campaign to have the systems 'rethink' their position with the completion and unveiling of the Death Star. Then word came that the Empire ambushed and captured Princess Leia Organa at Tatooine. Now the Death Star sits, almost within striking distance of Alderaan.

"Power spike from the Death Star," reported the Lieutenant on tactical, hoping that his career wouldn't end on this day.

"Tell me they got her out," begged Ranma, receiving a slight shake of the head. He whipped his own head around in time to see the artificial moon fire, obliterating the planet.

"Oh God, please no," cried Ranma, for the first time that many had ever seen. Kasumi had cajoled her way into going to Alderaan with their twin sixteen year old sons and their eight year old daughter. The boys were named, in a fit of impishness, Genma and Soun as they had begun to fight on their way out of the womb. The daughter, more of a request from Kasumi, was named Kimiko.

"Extreme EM interference in the Alderaan system," came the voice of Washu, who had commandeered the sensor arrays of the entire fleet. "Third Fleet is sending out a mayday, they've taken heavy damage. Nine ships are confirmed lost, including the lead _Sovereign_."

Ranma, who had moved from his rare crying fit to barely contained rage, was ready to go Extra Vehicular to beat the living shit out of the Empire and their crones.

"_Now_ we interfere," he spat between gritted teeth . . .

TBC

I know, I know it doesn't make much sense in parts. Sorry for the glossing of Episodes One through Three, but it was a necessary evil to set up the end of this chapter. Besides it had been agreed upon to not interfere and cause mass amounts of chaos, and Ranma held to that until Alderaan.

Now? Now the shit hits the fan . . .


	31. TGD 11

Disclaimer: Still not owning anything here, no profits, completely broke. Everything used belongs to other people who have done good work with the story lines.

Rant: Fire in the hole, that's all I have to say. Although this is now the longest fic I've ever butchered . . . I mean wrote. Also, I have turned anonymous reviews ON in an attempt to get more, but if it becomes a pain in my ass to deal with stupid people then I'll have to turn it back off.

The Goddess Dilemma, part eleven

By: Jim Ohki

"The Third Fleet can't get any closer," said the Lieutenant, "Not with that Death Star still in the system."

"Ranma, please calm down," pleaded Nabiki, "It hurts me too, hell it hurts all of us, but you need to think clearly. Don't be like Akane with the react first ask questions whenever you feel like it attitude."

The still young, even though he was nearing fifty, man took a deep breath, exhaled and repeated. This went on for ten minutes, before Ranma shook his head.

"Nope, not helping," he quipped, "I seriously need to beat the hell out of somebody, more to the point I want to _kill_ these Imperial fucksticks."

"The Death Star has captured a freighter that just appeared in the system," reported the female at tactical, as her shift had started twenty minutes ago. The Lieutenant knew she was walking into something big by the vibes she felt three decks down. "They're moving out of the system."

"Get the Third Fleet moving, which way did they go?" spoke Ranma, before the tactical station lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Hostiles reverting to realspace, bearing two-five-eight mark five. Three _Imperial_-class Star Destroyers, looks like they just left dry-dock." The three ships fanned out for maneuvering room, then started spewing fighters. They were moving in-system, straight towards the crippled Third Fleet, and any survivors that might be floating about in pods or nearly-dead ships.

"That's it, I've had it," declared the warrior, "Fourth through Seventh Fleets, cloak, set course and engage at maximum warp. The other Fleets stay here, but be ready to move. Helm, set course to the Alderaan Graveyard and engage at maximum warp."

The commands were carried out swiftly and silently. The soldiers did their job, thankful that one of the leaders of the Family was always on them to keep them sharp. The members of the RSC, minus the MIA Kasumi, crowded onto the bridge. They demanded nothing, argued nothing. They wanted answers, and if the case warranted it, revenge.

Even with the Fleets being on the fringe of the galaxy, the engine modification Washu had pulled out of her hat enabled them to reach the site of the Core world in less than ten minutes. Once there they reinforced the Third Fleet, most of which was cloaked. But there were ships that had a choice, cloak or life support. That meant elements out in the open for all and any to see. The forty _Venture _-class fighters fanned out, joining the remaining twelve from the Third. Highly outnumbered in the fighter department, as each Star Destroyer had three of six squadrons in space, the capital ships on the five fleets combined made up the difference.

"Full stop to the Fleet," said Ranma, eyeing his opponents warily, "Prepare to decloak and raise shields. Weapons to full."

The moving wall of Imperial might had slowed to a crawl, the fighters buzzing about like flies. They moved toward a crippled _Defiant_ that had life signs, preparing for the capture.

"Deploy," was the only thing Ranma had to say to unleash anarchy and change the course of an entire galaxy. The fleet began to move as one unit, making their presence known with the first shots. The _Ventures_ engaged the fighters, discovering that the Empire considered them fodder as the shielding was to laugh at. Forty-three _Sovereign_'s fanned out, creating a wall of their own while the forty-seven _Galaxy_-class ships moved into a wedge formation. The _Aegian_-class vessels stayed out of the front, along with their defenders the _Intrepid_'s. The _Defiant_'s started flying random patterns, either attacking a fighter for a quick kill or launching a barrage of fire into the closest Star Destroyer. The _Repair_ ships flittered about, doing their job with the elements of the Third that were not engaged in the fight.

The element of surprise quickly faded as the Star Destroyers returned fire from the sixty turbo-laser emplacements, making quick work of the smaller ships. Not enough for a kill, but enough to disable as apparently whoever was in charge of this battle group was smart enough to go for new technologies. Not that is mattered, as when the _Galaxy_ and _Sovereign_-classes really got going, the combined weapons fire ate the Star Destroyers alive. The thick durasteel hulls where good for deflecting turbo-lasers, as it was nearly impossible to hit the same spot twice and there was a pause between shots. The computer controlled phasers, however, would strike the same area repeatedly, with a greater concentration of energy.

"Multi Vector Assault mode," barked Ranma as a panel in the back of the bridge arced, "Target the bridge of the central Destroyer. Use the _Streamrunner_ and _Iwo Jima_-classes to gather survivors from the Third Fleet and any life pods that are floating around. Have the _Sovereign_'s concentrate firepower on the right ship, _Galaxy_'s on the left. Arm photon torpedoes, let's see how they like this." His orders were carried out as _Prometheus_ broke into three smaller ships, coming in on different angles to attack the same point.

"Why aren't we using the transphasic technology?" asked Karin as she held on for deal life. The ship shook from another hit, shields holding at eighty percent. On the viewer, a _Defiant_ got too carried away and smacked right into the right side of the left Star Destroyer, opening a very large hole in the ship as it exploded.

"Because we don't want to give away an obvious advantage," answered Nabiki, who was cradling her right arm and had a small gash on her forehead. "We haven't used any torpedoes yet, and those may make the difference without the overkill."

"Target torpedoes to the remaining weapons emplacements," ordered Hild, seeing what Ranma was up to. "Have the Fleet match and fire."

One hundred thirty-one ships fired three torpedoes, each tracking a different target. When the warheads detonated, space seemed to light up. By the time the flashes of light and residual EM interference faded, it was obvious that the battle was over. The torpedoes had each destroyed all of the weapons of the three Imperial ships, as well as blowing massive holes in the hulls. One torpedo had veered off course and impacted against the bridge shield dome, bringing the shields down. Three _Ventures_ opened fire in a quick volley, opening the entire command tower to the vacuum. The central Star Destroyer listed port before completely exploding, which chain reacted into its partner on the right. Then that ship blew, leaving the last one to drift dead in space. The _Ventures_ cleaned up the remaining fighters, as several _Iwo Jima_ ships beamed over boarding parties.

Even though it was a moot point, the system was secured. Numerous survivors were found on various ships, and it was requested to move the Fleet back to New Earth to treat many of the patients in the ground-based hospital. The _Repair_ ships formed a honey-comb around the prize, tractoring the Star Destroyer with them as the Fleet returned to its home.

It was chaos in the medical bays of the various ships that had them. The survivors, both of Alderaan and the battle after, were numerous. It seemed that many of the natives had attempted to vacate their homeworld before it was blown into so many asteroids. Casualties were sorted, and prioritized. Meaning the wounded from the battle, so long that it wasn't life threatening, were told to find pain killers and go away for the moment.

Two nurses came barreling through the crowds of confused humanoids, a stretcher suspended between them.

"MAKE A HOLE!" roared the one in the front, balancing the stretcher with one hand while shoving people with the other. As the fleet had returned to New Earth, the severely injured that had been patched up to at least make the journey were beamed to the hospital on the surface.

The doctor on duty was up to her forearms in a chest cavity, but did manage to spare a glance in the direction of the nurses that had just so very rudely entered her domain.

"Oh no, get the Admirals down here pronto," she barked, finishing her current patient as quickly as she could.

When the call came, the 'Admirals' were in the middle of an argument. Ranma, he was of the mentality 'Cry havoc' while his cousins were trying to get him to back off, that this was something bigger than he could chew. The three ignored the call, and the next eight before the doctor herself stormed the bridge.

"What the hell is going on up here that is so important that you'd ignore me when I have urgent news?" she demanded after planting herself in the midst of the nose to nose cousins. They blinked before separating, eyeing the doctor warily.

"Can we help you?" asked Tenchi, glad that somebody was up here to shift gears.

"Yeah, we found her -" was as far as she got before a tremendous wind gust knocked her down. Then the vacuum caught up, pulling the furniture and occupants to the hole in wall.

"Okay, that was one way to get him to think about something different," quipped Seina from the mass as he began to force his way out. Tenchi did the same from his spot in the pile, while the doctor was groaning in pain.

"Next time, I send a messenger," she mused, before being helped to her feet. The trio made tracks for the medical bay at a more sedate pace. On the way there they passed several flattened crew members that were blinking in surprise, most literally asking what hit them. Once there they found that Ranma was standing at the door, not yet willing to enter. He also seemed to be belittling himself for his jaunt through the ship to get here without all of the facts. He noticed their approach and started launching a million questions at once, stuttering through each creating a solid noise of gibberish.

"Ranma," barked Tenchi, who had grasped the pigtailed warrior by the shoulders, "Shut up for a minute. The doc explained it to us, now you need to listen." That had the desired result, as Ranma nodded after closing his mouth.

"She's alive," said the doctor, taking a precaution by placing Seina and Tenchi between her and Ranma. "Her condition is critical, but stable. She is aware of everything that is going on around her, and remembers who we are."

That was as far as she got as Ranma turned and entered the medical bay of _Prometheus_. He located his target easily, as the rest of his family was already there crowding around the biobed that Kasumi was on. They felt the temperature drop in the room, and instantly knew who the latest visitor was. Turning as one they saw Ranma pause, motioning them to step aside. Instead of just making a hole, they made tracks for the door. Urd and Peorth were the only two who didn't leave the bay entirely, instead moving over towards the stasis field that housed Tsunami. In the thirty-two years that they had been present in this universe, there had been no change in the status of the Juraian Goddess, nor the tree Miseto. It's presence was noticeable as the tree was also in a stasis field to prevent overgrowth. Seto herself was adamant that the tree wasn't pruned, as she had found out that it hurt.

"Ranma," rasped Kasumi, without trying to sit up, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have insisted that we -"

He stopped her, taking in the scene. Kasumi had burns and obvious shrapnel damage on the right side of her body. While her face was somehow untouched, from her right shoulder down to her ankle wasn't covered in clothing to aide in the changing of bandages and application of many medical tools that Ranma had no idea what they did. He started to caress her face, the relief in knowing she was alive clearly shown on his face. Then it twisted as he looked closer at the damage done, a question burning in his mind.

"The kids?" he asked as gently as he could, making sure to remember that he was caressing a gentle flower that was the woman on the bed in front of him. He hadn't been looking at her eyes when he asked, but when he felt liquid under his palms he had his answer. "Protecting you?" came from his mouth as his eyes swiveled to meet hers. She simply nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Then they did right by us," he said softly, proud that the children he'd had with her had respected their parents enough to do something like that. "We can always have more, even though it wouldn't be the same."

"Actually, sir," came the voice of the doctor, daring to step into the lion's den, "They were near an EPS conduit, when debris from the planet impacted. The conduit exploded, the children doing their best to completely shield her from the blast. Young Kimiko was vaporized in the plasma fire, which opened up the damaged area that you see. The excess plasma had a radioactive property to it, making Kasumi sterile."

Instantly did frost appear on everything and everyone in the room. He now knew how some of his children died, but that Kasumi was sterile was too much for him to handle . . .

_-(Shared quarters of the Saotome family)- _

"Is dad going to be okay?" asked Ranma Junior, who had surprised the members from Nerima by being a polar opposite from his father: he wasn't loud, boisterous, nor did he have an ego the size of a solar system. He wasn't looking at anybody specific, glancing from person to person in the quarters to see who would answer his question. At thirty-one years old, even though he didn't look a day over eighteen, Junior was one of the oldest out of the children of the cousins, including his half-brother Hairbrush.

No answer immediately came forth, until the temperature dropped as the environmental controls apparently had a fit. Then he, along with his brother, noticed that the adults were looking nervously at each other. As the temperature dropped, frost formed and a light snow fell for a moment from the moisture in the air that froze.

"That would be a definite 'no'," quipped Nabiki, "At least until he kills something and gets it out of his system."

To their surprise, the doors opened and admitted the subject of the conversation. The doc had told him that the rest of the family was filled in during their visit while she had gone to retrieve him. Ranma strode into the room, before making a bee line for his oldest boys, rapping them up in a rare display of affection. Then he sought out his other children, making sure to give each equal time before leaving the quarters without saying a word.

"He intends to die," suddenly said Xian, "Ranma is so broken up over this, so angry that he wasn't there, that he intends to take down this Empire and die during the process."

"Oh no he doesn't," warned Karin, "I, for one, will not allow that to happen. We are a family, and we should do this together or go our own ways."

"There is no question, we do this," stated Ukyo, "If not for the twins or Kimiko, then for Kasumi and all that she has lost."

As a sign that the debate was over, she left the quarters in pursuit of Ranma. The others moved out quickly, after instructing their children to stay put. They caught up to Ranma on the bridge not five minutes later.

"-damn it, I don't care," barked Ranma at a Lieutenant Commander, "Our Fleets have been replenished, and I want even more ships built. If you won't help me, I'll find somebody that will."

"Just do it," encouraged Nabiki, slightly shaking her head in Ranma's direction as an indicator that it was a bad idea to argue with him at the moment. When he heard her voice, Ranma had turned in their direction. Already knowing what foolishness it would be to try to do this alone (read: argue with women and lose), he simply nodded before sitting down in his chair.

"I've already sent Kasumi, Tsunami, Urd, Peorth and Seto down to the hospital on New Earth," he said after a moment, "And I'd really prefer that the kids are sent down also." His logic was sound, as Ranma couldn't possibly bear to deal with anymore loss like that. What seemed like a flaw in the logic, even though is was true, was that there was no way he would nor could convince his wives to stay behind.

"Have them work on the Destroyer project?" offered Hild, knowing that there were many secrets that had yet to be unlocked from their prize. A few already had been, such as the shipyard where she was built as well as figures on the hulls and shields.

"Most definitely," replied Washu as she appeared, "While the reverse-engineering is going well, it would provide a . . . truthful excuse to get them off of the ships. I have taught them all that I know with the small window of frame that we've had, so perhaps they could make the project go faster."

"Agreed," added Seina, putting in his appearance, "The kids can integrate the technology into the next generation of ships to come out of our yards, and transmit tactical data to us."

"Then they can put that Star Destroyer back together and place her in service for us after upgrades, of course," added Tenchi. There was a running agreement between the members of the Family: unless it was unjustifiable total madness, then they would go along with the revenge plot that was forming in Ranma's mind. If he crossed the line . . . well, there was really no hope in hell of stopping him if he became dangerously out of control.

"All right, get them cracking on the project," consented Ranma, doing his damnedest to stay grounded to reality and not go bonkers. "Once all the kiddies are off, set course for the Kuat Drive Yards, warp eight with the First through Fifth Fleets. Send the Sixth to Kamino. Full cloak, and have the slower construction ships piggy-back between the nacelles of the _Galaxy_'s and _Sovereign_'s." The commands were carried out quickly, and once the children were given specific instructions to continue to build up the Fleet, retrofitting as they saw fit with technology taken from the Destroyer, did a full five hundred ships cloak before moving to warp.

"What about the Empire's project at Fondor?" asked Ayeka, one of the few who had taken a look around the galaxy with the Astrometric sensors. She had uncovered the massive undertaking at the Fondor shipyard, said something about it, even though it seemed like the others were ignoring this colossal threat.

"Bah, one thing at a time," smirked Ranma, "It'll take them too long to build those ships in any quick order. The Kuat Drive Yards, however, have a nearly finished fleet sitting in the docks."

"Death Star has appeared in the Yavin system," said the Lieutenant on duty at tactical. "Rebel fighters moving to intercept. Apparently news of our presence hasn't spread yet."

"Excellent," stated Ranma while tapping the tips of his fingers together ala Mister Burns. "Then this attack will be all the more of a surprise. Upon arrival, have the Fleet fan out and eliminate the Golan mark Two and Three defense platforms. Then we move onto the yards, with Marines from the _Iwo Jima_'s taking any completed Star Destroyer back to our system. Anything else is to be turned into so much dust."

The trip was uneventful the rest of the way to Kuat, although news of the Death Star being destroyed at Yavin Four did elicit some cheers. Another report had an Imperial fleet moving towards the Yavin system, leaving the worlds and production facilities behind their lines to fend for themselves.

"Entering the Kuat system," reported a different Lieutenant at the tactical station. Shift change had come and gone, so the bridge personnel were fresh. Ranma and the Family hadn't left the bridge but for a few moments each the entire trip, mostly to seek out the bathroom.

"Have the _Intrepid_'s guard our flank with the _Aegian_'s in the middle," said Ranma while shifting around in his chair. "Use the capital ships to punch through the defenses, then send the fighters and destroyers through."

As was the norm, his orders were carried out with precision. The still cloaked fleet shifted to the new configuration, moving in on the target that was still none the wiser. The defense platforms were on their permanent 'yellow' status, scanning for threats constantly. Workers in their EV suits could be faintly seen welding pieces of armor or structural braces into place. Supply ships flittered about, moving whatever their cargo was from here to there. The fleet on five hundred two ships sat out of any traffic lane, taking in all of the defense positions, painting targets and prioritizing. There were five finished Star Destroyers sitting in the 'holding' area of the facility, apparently waiting for crews to do the shakedown cruise. All five hundred _Iwo Jima_-class ships moved towards them, a hundred of each taking a target with two thousand Marines. They were quick, they were silent, and most importantly they weren't found out. Any personnel that had been onboard was eliminated in short order, before the all green was confirmed by the _Iwo Jima_'s.

Once phase one of the attack was complete did the rest of the fleet decloak, firing quickly at the defense platforms destroying many of them in the first volley. The few remaining platforms fell quickly under the combined firepower of the fleet, then it was on to the docks themselves. The fleet moved like a wall of locusts, destroying anything that moved that wasn't painted green for safe. The dry-dock facility crumbled like so much paper, taking the nine skeletons of Star Destroyers with it. Fighters appeared from the planet Kuat, along with four frigates. There was a fifth frigate, but that one had jumped to hyperspace to send a mayday out. The _Venture_-class fighters rushed forward, taking on the enemy fighters while the _Defiant_'s came in behind them to tackle the frigates. The rapid fire phase-cannons of the _Defiant_'s ate right through the weaker armor, destroying the ships within two passes. The fighters were eliminated with ease, as the growing debris field made maneuvering more difficult. The orbital Kuat Drive Yards were completely destroyed in under fifteen minutes, then the fleet moved over the planet. The targeting system painted the facilities on the ground that handled various components of the Star Destroyers. Once those facilities were gone did the fleet withdraw for New Earth, taking their prize along with them.

"Where to now?" asked Tenchi as the group settled down from the excitement, "We only lost a handful of ships in that encounter, other than that we took almost no damage. The fleet will be at full strength again in two days, three tops."

"We're going to drop our prize off," answered Ranma, "Then we're going after a big fish. You remember the project at Fondor?"

"You can't be serious!" exclaimed Seina, "There's a fleet protecting that project, and the project itself is almost operational. We'd take heavy damage if we took on the Fondor shipyards."

"Time is wasting," suddenly spoke Mihoshi, "I've read the reports. If that ship at the Fondor yards gets up and running, we _will_ be in serious trouble."

The debate broke down as the fleet had returned to New Earth. It was just a pit stop to drop off the prize while restocking the few lost things. Then the fleet was on the move again, going after the big Kahuna at Fondor.

It didn't take as long to reach Fondor than it did to reach Kuat, but by now word of their attack had spread. There were literally thousands of fighters buzzing about like flies, while the fleet of twenty Star Destroyers traveled in different directions in a search and cover pattern. Not that it mattered, as the cloaking devices were better than any this galaxy had, which completely masked their presence until the time for the attack.

The capital ships engaged the Destroyers at near point blank range, targeting weapons first while the smaller ships attacked the fighters. As the battle spread out for maneuvering room, the _Galaxy_'s concentrated fire on engines, weapons, and the shield towers. Several photon torpedoes flashed out from several ships, obliterating one command tower. That ship began to drift, life-pods ejecting out in a hurried pace. Everybody moved away from the doomed Destroyer quickly, before it blew apart taking the bow off of another one and sending a piece of armor through the port nacelle of a _Galaxy_. The Engineers were quick to prevent a core breach, but that ship wouldn't be capable of warp for a while.

"Damn it, this is insane," growled Tenchi from _Colorado_.

"Our target is not where it is supposed to be," came Ayeka's voice, which caused silence on the bridge. Even though the silence was interrupted by an exploding station.

"You have got to be kidding me," dryly retorted Ryoko, "Then what the hell is this defense fleet for?" The tactical station chimed as a hail was incoming. Without waiting for an answer, she opened the channel. On the viewscreen was the face of Ranma, who did not look pleased at the moment.

"Do you have any idea where it went?" he asked, just before the _Prometheus_ pitched starboard from a proton torpedo impact. He turned, and barked a couple of orders to obliterate the ship that had fired upon his. "There's too many ion trails from these Destroyers. Fallback to the _Aegian_ line and find her." Then the channel went dead as a _Galaxy_ got caught in the crossfire of three Star Destroyers. It managed to take one of them out, a photon torpedo to the bridge, but the firepower of the other two punched trough the shields. Escape pods blossomed from the ship before it exploded, sending shrapnel every which way to bombard shields of ships from both sides.

The _Ventures_ had cleared out almost all of the fighters by this point, even though they sustained heavy losses. The _Defiant_'s were doing what they did best, zipping around unleashing death at any enemy that was in range. While eight of the cousin's capital ships were lost, they had taken out fourteen of the Star Destroyers.

"Radiation surge," said the Lieutenant at tactical on _Prometheus_, "Ships reverting from hyperspace . . . including our target."

A second Imperial fleet appeared from their mission to Yavin. In the midst of the Star Destroyers was the ship that they were looking for, the Super Star Destroyer _Executor_.

"Bring ablative armor online, arm quantum torpedoes," said Ranma, completely awed at the sheer size of the _Super_-class ship. "They want to up the ante, then so will we."

Once the weapons were switched to something more advanced, the scales tipped back in favor of our heroes. The quantum torpedoes would ignore the shields of the Imperial ships, easily sending many to the grave. The _Imperial_ and _Victory_-class Star Destroyers from the second fleet moved to engage, but the _Super_ hung back for some reason. The new arrivals dumped their fighters into space, renewing their defensive capabilities.

As the New Earth Fleet waded through the sheer number of fighters, assault ships, and the crossfire of an additional twenty-eight Star Destroyers slowing them down, their target turned and jumped to hyperspace, leaving the rest of the fleet as a screen to cover its escape. _Prometheus_ and _Colorado _both pulled back to the mobile repair facility that the specified ships created, then hung back with the _Aegian_-class frigates for a planning session.

_-(New Earth shipyards)-_

"This was a brilliant idea," deadpanned Kiriko, who had commandeered the Astrometrics lab of a _Galaxy_ in the Ninth Fleet. "Remind me why it is that we didn't go with them?"

"Because while the ships that we have built are advanced," responded Amane, "Our ships lean more toward organic advanced, which would be just stupid to the way of things here if they captured us."

"Looks like we will win this battle," scoffed Ryoko, "Even though the Fleet has taken heavy damage, our numbers are greater. The Second Fleet is already moving on the shipyards of Fondor, while the Third is moving on the planet."

"Are there signs of another of those monsters?" asked Seina, shuddering when he mentally pictured that _Super_ next to anything he had ever heard of.

"There's one in the fourth dock that is seventy percent complete," Neju read from the sensors. "There's another one in the eighth dock at sixty, the rest are under fifty . . . wait, there's a second facility on the far side of Fondor, which has three at _ninety-nine percent complete?_ What the -?"

"Can we send them a message?" wondered Gyokuren, "Perhaps add one or all of them to our fleet."

"Not happening," countered Surien, "Those three ships are fully crewed and ready for action." The screen swiveled around to show _Prometheus_ and _Colorado_ sitting farther back than they had been, analyzing the situation. As the Star Destroyer fleet shrank, did capital ships break off to attack either the shipyards or the ground-base factories. The Battle of Fondor took almost an hour, when it was said and done the cousins emerged victorious, even though their fleet had lost one hundred nine of the five hundred ships. Most of the lost were _Defiant_'s and _Venture_'s, while several _Galaxy_'s and _Sovereign_'s finished out the casualty of ships list. Both sites were destroyed, although the three _Supers_ that were finished did jump to hyperspace.

Just like the Battle of Kuat, the medical bays of the fleet were chock full of injured. Once the repairs to the ships were as complete as they would get, the Fleet set a course to return to New Earth . . .

"Great," injected Amane, "So here they come with more wounded. Well, we'd better take the Ninth Fleet out on patrol, make sure they weren't followed."

_-(New Earth system, two weeks later)-_

Since their return, Ranma had not left the hospital where Kasumi was being treated. While her wounds had been healed to the best of their abilities, she still had to undergo physical therapy for her right arm and leg. Her initial sterility issue was something that the Goddesses could treat, if their power wasn't being sapped by Tsunami. Hild had tried, but her Demonic waveform just didn't mesh with Kasumi's.

The Destroyer project was wrapped up quickly once the extra engineers returned from the jaunts to Kuat and Fondor. The greatest problem they had was that their initial target had slipped away, and now had a fleet of thirty ships guarding her. While they had chased the Rebels off of Yavin Four, the Imperials were trying to split their attentions. Meaning that while looking for the new Rebel base, they were also looking for the New Earth Fleet. Not that it mattered as weapons upgrades had been installed on every ship, giving them enough firepower to punch through the hulls of the massive Imperial capital ships. Shield upgrades were made for the turbo-laser and proton torpedo weapons of this universe. The entire known galactic map was verified through scouting missions, then uploaded into every ship.

Ranma was visiting the still-hospital restricted Kasumi, doing something that was both romantic and a surprise knowing his personality. He was reading to her, a book that fell under the general romance category as it wasn't full of mush, neither was it all action. He senses picked up a noise that nobody else could have possibly heard, which tripped his mental threat alarm.

"Yes, Rei?" he asked, turning to face the quiet albino girl. She seemed to be studying him, her head slightly angled to the right.

"Professor Washu sent me to inform you that the reactivation and integration of Units Zero and One will be starting shortly," she finally said after a pregnant pause, apparently deciding to stay professional and not ask the questions on the tip of her tongue. Ranma looked disappointed, as his time with Kasumi was apparently over. However, she surprised the other two in the room by getting up.

"It's time for my walk," she said with a wink and a smile.

"Right," agreed Ranma, not quite grasping what he was agreeing to. "Then shall we?" He stood by her right while Rei took her left flank, by all appearances in the mood for a conversation. The Saotomes walked in silence, waiting for the EVA pilot to start talking. When that went nowhere, they shared a look.

"How're you adjusting, Rei?" asked Kasumi, setting a steady slow pace. At least now she could walk without a cane as her leg had healed to that point. There was still stiffness and pain in her hip, knee, and ankle.

"I have nothing to complain about," replied the pilot of Unit Zero, "Although Pilot Ikari complains about 'the general bizarreness of this universe'. He states happiness, however, at not having to pilot the Evangelion to fend for his life."

"Ah, you mean he's happy about having a choice," nodded Ranma, seeing the hidden meaning. He ignored the look Kasumi gave him, all these years and she'd still get surprised when he figured it out first. "He does understand that if we need the services of the Evas we would call upon him?"

"Yes sir," answered Rei, sticking to protocol as it had been explained to her. "Shinji is content in knowing that our services in the Units are most likely not going to be needed, however he is willing to do as you ask."

"Relax Rei," gently chided Kasumi, "Ranma is not going to bite if you break protocol with him. In all truth, he hates the rank and file bit. You should know by now that here, all are equal, at least outside of any action."

Ranma just shrugged his shoulders, finding it easier than getting a headache in arguing the finer points of life with the younger girl. It was after things had settled down after their arrival in this universe that the cousins had a chance to talk to the Eva pilots, to attempt to get to know them. Rei had deferred many of the questions asked of her to Shinji, as she was apparently following his lead. It took several hours for him to relax and give answers that made sense. Once their little get together was finished, Washu had commandeered them for information on the Evas. That had been just over thirty-two years ago, and whatever ailment that was preventing the Family from aging had affected them also.

Not that the EVA pilots would complain, as being stuck at looking eighteen had returns. Shinji, who had pestered Ranma until he took him on as a student, had filled out. The pilot of Unit One was no longer a twig, but he didn't go overboard either to the extreme of the body builders. Rei had gone through a growth spurt and blossomed into a beautiful woman. After being coached by the various females present, Rei had let her hair grow to her shoulder blades. She followed Shinji, her sensei of pestering choice being Karin. At first the pilot of Unit Zero was extremely cold to the redheaded German, but with the passage of time did she find that not all females in that category were full of themselves. Rei had a talent in the sword arts, which she used to stay in shape while taking plenty of hand to hand courses with the varying fighters.

Neither pilot was anywhere in the league of the Family, but they could hold their own and do massive damage to enemies and surrounding properties with ease. They had been together since a year into the jaunt in this universe, each growing out of the timid quiet types . . . at least around each other. There were no problems with sterility, they had just decided that since they apparently had the rest of forever to go they would wait.

"How're your wings, Rei?" asked Kasumi, noting that the hybrid human/Angel was trying her best to blend into the background again.

"They hurt," she complained, "I need to let them out, but I do not like to do so in public areas."

"Bah," snorted Ranma, "Rei, look around you. The definition of 'normal' doesn't exist on a planet that is populated by ageless clones, people from another universe and their children. Not to mention that the clones are in fact children not possibly conceived, each not knowing who their parents are but are content knowing that they are a clone. So let them out, yeah you'll get a look or two but the people will leave you be." To demonstrate his point, Ranma shifted into his female form. Then he employed a trick he had picked up a few years back, partially morphing into Dark Seraphim. Now Ranma was a gorgeous redhead with jet black wings, flying several inches off of the ground. Rei glanced around, noting that Ranma was right. Once the people saw it, they cataloged it and went about their business. She let her wings, that had developed after her first orgasm (a completely different affair), out with a grateful sigh. Turning slightly, Rei saw that Ranma was staying in that form for a while. Her mountain-snow white wings were an offset to Ranma's black, and it was awkward that their wings would make contact as they walked, being fair to Kasumi

"Aw, how cute," cooed the number one wife of Ranma, "Being protected by the Angel and the Fallen." Ranma snorted, before reverting to his male form but leaving the wings there. Rei seemed to use the contact as a reassurance without need for visual aid, and he was more than willing to help his quiet friend.

The rest of the walk contained small talk, ribbing of people, and general nonsense that friends do when they get together. When they reached the improvised Eva cages, they found Shinji talking rather . . . loudly, to Washu. Their entrance was grant, since the presence of the wings made for a yin-yang effect over Kasumi. The people gathered, which would be everybody from the three crews sans the kids that were busy with other priorities and the two Goddesses, exploded into questions. Ranma, going for something dramatic, rapped his arms then his wings around Kasumi. A surprise element in the equation was that Rei duplicated the process, completely cocooning Kasumi in the softest feathers she had ever felt. The two winged people shifted the appendages a hair to let Kasumi see, and she whispered to the other two.

The people on the outside of the cocoon fell down, then got back up making noise in their direction. Apparently being ignored, some moved closer and tried again. Nobody had noticed that Shinji wasn't present anymore, until Ranma had shifted his grip and attempted to take flight.

"Hi there," said the floating Shinji, his own set of wings out and flapping to maintain altitude. "Surprise."

_THUD!_

Everybody else picked themselves up off of the floor, except for Ranma who had kept his composure due to his cargo.

"Cool, now I train you in aerial fighting," appraised Ranma, "I taught you excellent ground combat, but left the aerial out as you couldn't jump properly."

_THUD!_

Even Shinji went down with that one, as Ranma drifted over to the rest of his family to make a soft landing. He saw the looks but shook his head as this was not the time to see what flying was like. So instead they settled for bombarding Kasumi with questions, varying in range from what she was doing out of the medical complex, to her recent flight, to her general well being.

"Excuse me," said Washu with no little sarcasm, "Can we get this show on the road please? There are Empires to crush, people to liberate and ships to either steal or blow up. Times a-wasting here."

"Right," deadpanned Ranma, "Shinji, Rei are you ready to pilot again?"

"Not really, but we'll do it," timidly said Shinji, having been free of Eva for thirty plus years. That chapter was coming to a close as it was time to saddle up. The two pilots retracted and stowed their wings, before heading into the lifts that would take them to their respective plugs. On the ground, the Family was still gathered around Kasumi.

"So, how do you feel?" asked Nabiki, getting the privilege of being the second to ask that question. Second, as Ranma had asked it twenty minutes ago when they had left the medical complex. She noticed that Ranma, Tenchi and Seina were talking in a side bar. What about she had no clue, but whatever it was couldn't have been a brilliant idea on Ranma's part.

"I still have pain from my hip down," answered Kasumi, taking a breather on a handy bench. "Although my arm does give me grief from time to time." She saw which way her blood sister was looking, and snuck a quick glance to see the cousins arguing about something. Ranma appeared to be losing the argument, at least for the moment.

"How you doing otherwise?" wondered Ukyo, who had taken a seat next to one of the nicest people in any universe. She too noticed the argument, but put it off for more important things.

"It hurts," whimpered Kasumi, "Oh God how it hurts. Ranma, he's doing everything he can to help me, but I need something more . . . I need _personal_ revenge." The argument had shifted gears, as Ranma had pulled some weapon out of nowhere to use against his cousins. Most likely that he would do whatever he was planning anyway, with or without them.

"They died with honor," stated Xian, "We will get vengeance for their sacrifice." Her voice had been rather loud in that statement, which got Ranma's attention. He said something to his cousins, and they backed down from their stance.

"It's not just that," cried Kasumi, "You weren't there. You didn't hear the scream of your daughter get cut off as her body _vaporized_. You didn't hear your sons determination for you to survive as they followed the path of their sister." She was now in a full fit of tears, which earned an instantaneous appearance by Ranma.

"Back off _now_," he growled, "It's too soon for this conversation. I know this isn't easy for any of us, but now is not the time. I have an idea . . ." As Ranma laid out his plans to his 'council' (read: better half), the tests of the Evas were almost finished. They'd done everything but attack each other for a mobility exercise. Shinji and Rei had ejected the plugs and were drying off when they heard a collective shout.

"ARE YOU INSANE?" came from the Saotome family, before one of their number looked thoughtful.

"It just might work," suddenly said the last person thought to say such.

"Empires at war, eh?" quipped Nabiki, "And just how do we get the systems to cooperate?"

"Simple," answered Ranma, "We just drive the Empire out, and let them deal with whatever they want however they want."

"And if they don't want the Empire gone?" Karin asked the billion yen question.

"Too bad for them," dryly said the warrior, "They side with the enemy, they _become_ the enemy." Silence followed the statement, as there was nothing to be said about it at the moment. What Ranma had said jumbled the mental circuits of his family, causing several crashes and lock-ups. "This is more than just revenge," he elaborated, "There is an entire galaxy that is under strife because of one man. That one man, we have watched like a hawk for the last thirty-two years. He _must_ be stopped, and given the Rebellion, we can add to the strain of his control by following the plan. We can end his tyranny, at least in our own way and free those that are oppressed."

The discussion died there as Ranma helped Kasumi to her feet, then began the trek back to the hospital. She was scheduled for release in a couple of days, so it was better to stay on the good side of the staff to insure no more time was needed in there than was necessary. The rest of the family watched them leave, before casting glances at each other. Nabiki shrugged her shoulders while the others looked indecisive. Turning to a Fleet Captain, one that was always near to carry out orders, she spoke.

"Prepare the fleet."

_-(Medical Complex, New Earth)-_

"You didn't have to be so hard on Xian," chided Kasumi, "She was expressing her emotions the way she knows how."

"I know, I know," sighed Ranma, "That weakness of mine is still there, even after all this time." As soon as they had returned to the temporary residence of Kasumi did she lay into him, not at all pleased with the way he talked to the others.

"Ranma, you're what, going on fifty?" she asked with an eyebrow arched. "And you _still_ can't stand to see a woman cry?"

Sensing a return of the FIMD, Ranma kept his trap shut. He simply nodded and sagged, looking fairly admonished. He had already planned to make it up to the others that night, especially Xian.

"Look Ranma," Kasumi said in a softer tone, "All we can do is go forward, and never forget where we've been. All of the 'woulda', 'coulda', 'shoulda' isn't going to help. We are a family, and we'll get through this together." Again he nodded, before kissing her as he tucked her in. Turning to go, as much as he didn't want to, he had one last thing to say.

"We will do this, together," he promised. Then Ranma left, heading for the mansion that housed his family on the ground to set things right with them.

The next day found two of the three families back in space. Seina and his group decided to stay behind to man the Astrometrics array that was constructed a week prior, and man the command center. They were in charge of Intelligence of both Imperial movements as well as those of the Rebellion.

The Rebels by now had set up camp on Hoth, the last place anybody would think to look for them. The Imperial fleets were roaming the galaxy, triple checking systems in hopes of finding them. The three _Super_-class ships that had escaped the destruction of the Fondor shipyards hadn't been seen since, and even the Empire feared they were lost in a bad hyperspace jump. The _Executor_ and her group were on the far side of the galaxy from New Earth, scouring the systems near Yavin.

Ranma's plan was simple, and looked to be effective in hypothesis. His theory, however, had flaws in it. Since their campaign was to start where the end of the Republic had started, that meant the launch point would be Geonosis. As the Empire had ignored the world, and the entire system, it was taken quickly. Next was Kamino, a place that had reason to mistrust the New Earth fleet. They hadn't been around when the Empire showed up at their door, demanding their cloning technologies since the Emperor had outlawed the practice. In exchange for their cooperation, the Empire had left two garrisons behind to insure the Kaminoans didn't get back into the business.

There was only a single Star Destroyer in the Kamino system, which was quickly silenced as the capital ships of the First through Fourth Fleets opened fire with quantum torpedoes. Then the _Iwo Jima_'s beamed their Marines into the various cities that had the greater concentrations of Imperial Stormtroopers. Ranma was quick to follow, leaving the excuse of stress relief in his wake.

"Jam all communications," barked Nabiki, temporarily in command. "If anything makes a break for it, disable and capture attempts first, destroy if resistance is fierce."

The viewscreen came to life, as one of the Marines on the ground had a small helmet-mounted camera. They were on a landing pad in a heavy rainstorm. The soldier looked around, then paid some attention to his Commander. The three detachments began to deploy, taking strategic placements all along the landing pads. Once those were secure, they continued on into the city perimeter, where the Marines got the drop on the Stormtroopers. They opened fire first, taking out a few of the Imperial troops before they returned fire. A ground battle, the likes of which hadn't been seen since the Clone Wars, sprang forth.

Then Ranma appeared, a personal shield up as he sliced and diced the enemy with his two swords. The Imperials were shooting like mad at him, and all it would do was earn his attention. He'd come whirring in, blades flashing, leaving stumps of parts or bodies in his wake.

"Ma'am," said the Lieutenant on duty, "Teams two through five report success. Six through ten are cleaning up any stragglers, and . . . well, you can see what squad one is doing."

"Any movement in the system?" asked Nabiki, who'd had her fill of the bloody scenery from the planet.

"None," answered Hild, as she was propped up against the tactical station, "No anomalous readings of any sort." Even the Demon Queen couldn't watch the viewer anymore, as she kept her eyes focused on the readouts in front of her.

Ranma suddenly strode in through the lift doors, surprising those on the bridge. He'd made it a point to get clean as a whistle before returning to the bridge of _Prometheus_.

"Much better," he stretched, "Now then, we have done our job here. Prep the fleet to move out." There was a slight pause, before his instructions were carried out. The habited planets in between Geonosis and Kamino had the Imperial presence eliminated, then the bubble grew. The New Earth Fleet cleaned the Empire out of the systems from the planet of the cloners all the way to Dagobah, stopping south of Sullust and Bothan Space. The fleet spread out in a patrol formation, not interfering with the locals of the systems while keeping the Empire out.

It was only a matter of time, with the success rate they'd had, that the Rebel Alliance would come looking for them. Since the Family was expecting it, it came as no surprise when a certain freighter with a single certain X-Wing fighter suddenly reverted from hyperspace on the far edge of the Geonosis system. However, it was a surprise when they reverted right on top of them.

"Take evasive action!" roared Ranma, "Brace for impact!" The agility of both ships came through, as the freighter had suddenly turned away from the path of the fleet. _Prometheus_ had dove, making the X-Wing turn hard port. Once all of the maneuvering was done was there a sigh of relief. Nobody collided, scratching the paint jobs on any ship.

"Okay," deadpanned Ranma once his heart rate slowed, "Any clue as to what they're doing out here?"

The crew set to finding that answer after their own heart rates slowed down to something less than warp speed. The Saotome Family, minus the Goddesses and Kasumi whom were still on New Earth, gathered for a meeting in the conference room.

"What do you think they are doing out here?" asked Ranma, "Other than the obvious 'they wish to enlist our services'."

"Well, that just blew my theory away," chortled Nabiki, "That would be the _only_ reason that those three are away from Hoth at this critical juncture. You've read the sensor logs and know that the Empire has sent probe droids just about everywhere. Including Hoth."

"Yes," agreed Ukyo, a surprising tactician in her own right, "The Imperial Fleet movements have gone from erratic to patterned, meaning they might have already found the Hoth base. The question is Ranma, what are we going to do?"

"Not a damned thing," he stated flatly, "It's one thing to wage our war with the Empire, as they committed a wrong against us. Helping the Rebellion, however, is not acceptable. They're on their own in that regard."

"Ah, the original 'don't interfere with the natives' thing," snorted Xian, "It is a sound thought, no matter how much I don't like it."

"Look," said a sympathetic Ranma, "I don't like it either. We're doing our part by waging our little Empires at War game here. We've gotten the systems we have because we have driven out our enemy, while not occupying the planets, leaving them to their own devices. We have the resources to survive, and that's just what we're going to do."

"The freighter and the fighter are docked with the lead _Sovereign_ of the Second Fleet," came the voice of the Commander left in charge, "Should we bring them over here?"

"Yeah," answered Hild, "But bring them by shuttle. No need to get too carried away with the technology."

"Yeah, right," dryly stated Ranma, "We haven't even broken the transphasic tech out yet. You know that it's giving Washu fits with her trying to figure out how it works. Although I do agree with you, we should limit the amount of exposure to as little as possible." Ranma left the conference room for a moment, before reappearing to take his seat at the head of the table.

The shuttle with their guests arrived in a quick order, before the First and Second Fleets jumped to warp after turning to head home. The 'Ambassadors' of the Rebel Alliance were under heavy escort, even though they did look around in awe. Several times did the detail have to stop to fetch one of the droids that would either straight wander off or attempt to jack into the computer network. They marched into the conference room, only to have the new arrivals stop and look out the window. The stars were streaking past aft as the ship moved at a high speed.

The conference room held a modified table, to accommodate at least two thirds of the Family at any given time, with room for guests. As they entered, the four humanoids and two droids took in the sixteen people staring at them as they walked to their seats.

_-(Universe A, Ranma year 2005)-_

Things had gotten very monotonous in the home dimension. Unbeknownst to them, Ranma and company were on the greatest adventure spanning numerous years while only a week had past here. The greatest scientists of the galaxy were busy trying to recreate the subspace gate accident with no success. The off-world visitors had settled thing down with the locals, by bringing them into the fold. The local governments had to still some rioting and open rebellion of the revelation that Earth wasn't alone in the galaxy.

"Oh, how I hope they're okay," wept Nodoka, as the reality that her only child may not be returning home had finally started to sink into her honor-thick skull. Once the thought had planted itself in her mind, she had morphed into a version of Soun Tendo. Yes, the Saotome Waterworks Plant had officially opened for business and showed no signs of shutting down any time now.

There was one modification to the events of late, and that was the return of Genma. He had been caught attempting to sneak into the guest room for the pack that had been hidden there the entire time. He was currently under guard by a small platoon of both Juraian guards and Galaxy Police officers.

"Please let me go!" came his voice again, the seventh time that day and innumerable since his capture. "For the love of God, let me go before the boy comes back!" His words caused the SWP to pick up production, before Soun was heard in the room with Genma.

"Would you please be quiet?" he said with no politeness, "You're upsetting Nodoka, and I'm getting tired of mopping the floor."

_WHAM!_

That had followed Soun's words, indicating that Genma had returned to the land of forced dreams, which were usually nightmares to the extreme. Meaning that for Genma, there was no food to be seen that he could get his hands on while the others in the dreamscape ate to their hearts content, and his cursed son was always walking around in his girl form, doing 'girly' things. Soun headed back into the family room from his visit with his old friend and training partner.

"Thank you," said Airi as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "He should simply be shot, not suspended between the Guardians."

"You know that judgment is reserved for Ranma," commented Mikami while lifting her left arm that had a drink attached to it. She took a deep draw from the coffee mug, savoring the flavor of Earth grown Columbian coffee that was surprising to her. "Besides, Azusa is curious as to how he treated the boy who got Seto's attention and by proxy, Tsunami's attention."

"He had only touched on that training trip," stated Soun, "Everything that he told my family I have told you. Akane more than likely knows more, but she won't talk about it."

The conversation died at that point, as it was an old debate. Since Akane had returned from her visit with the Almighty, she had primarily stayed in her room. She would make appearances to eat, and keep up on hygiene, and to do chores as assigned by Soun but beyond that Akane spent the rest of her time in her room. Nodoka had discovered a diary, out of the respect of inner-most thoughts did the Saotome matriarch not read it.

That, and it had the number fifteen on it, as Akane had apparently been going through the little books like water in an effort to get those thoughts and feelings that belonged to Ranma out of her head.

Still, without the chaos generator, life in Nerima had slowed to a normal pace. The Kunos had been severely injured in a lab explosion at their home, and the subsequent investigation had found that the three were clinically, and certifiably, insane.

"So, how goes the research?" suddenly asked Nodoka, her tears finished for the moment. "That probe device that you recovered, did you get anything from it?" That stopped Airi and Mikami in their tracks, as they hadn't expected anybody in the house to ask anything along those lines.

"We have dissected and reconstructed it," answered Airi, "While it has given us great information on who built it, which universe they call home and all of the background jargon that goes with it, there is no data on the make-up of the wormhole that linked our universes together."

"Oh, I do hope they make it home safe," restarted the SWP, making the others nervous.

_-(Universe D, Star Wars Episode Four plus three years)-_

"Are you certain about this?" asked a Rear Admiral of the Fleet, not quite understanding the thinking process of the Family.

"Most certain," answered Ranma, "Like I told them three years ago, they're on their own. We are waging our own war against the Empire and do not have the resources to assist theirs."

The New Earth Territory, as the local systems had agreed to call it, spanned dozens of light years. The 'corners' were Naboo on the 'east' (standing the galaxy on a monitor with their region on the bottom of the screen), to Kamino on the 'west' then down into Wild Space. While Kamino was further south than Naboo, it was decided to stop the line there as the next system was Bothan Space. Dagobah was just outside the established border of the territory, meaning it was still Empire controlled.

"Imperial Fleet entering the Hoth system," reported the Lieutenant Commander on duty at tactical. To save time and effort, Astrometrics had been tied directly into the tactical station to speed up reporting of events and finds.

"You could have been nicer to at least Leia," commented Nabiki, "I mean, to say that 'there's not a chance in hell of getting our help' is rather harsh. Even by my standards."

The Rebellion had sent Han Solo, Chewbacca, Leia Organa, and Luke Skywalker to attempt to open talks between them and the people that had appeared from an uncharted edge of the galaxy to wage war against a mutual enemy.

"Yeah, but at least Han seemed to like him," snickered Ukyo, "Their attitudes were very compatible. Even the Wookie liked Ranma with his no nonsense beating around the bush approach."

"The important thing is," said a healthy Kasumi, "That we are holding the Empire at bay along our lines while not actually assisting the natives to tip the scales in either direction."

While the talks had gone nowhere, Kasumi had been cleared to return to 'active' duty. Her return came at a great time, as she looked dead at Luke upon entering the conference room. She then walked over to Ranma and leaned over to whisper in his ear. When she was finished, he immediately asked Luke to come with him.

They had transported down to the hospital facility, the look of surprise and wonder on Luke's face at the technology used. Ranma led him to a long-term care section, which housed Tsunami. The Doctor on duty was confused when Ranma asked her to drop the stasis field, but did so with no argument.

No sooner than it had gone down, did Tsunami awaken. That really spooked not only the medical staff, as the stasis field was supposed to drop automatically when their patient awoke, but also Ranma.

"I . . . cannot . . . stay conscious," said the Goddess, her first words in thirty-two years. "There is a dark presence that is preventing . . . me . . . from . . . exiting the healing trance. Only the presence of this . . . one . . . has . . . allowed me to relay . . . the . . . need . . . to eliminate . . . the presence."

"Hush now," gently chided Luke, "I know who you are talking about. We are working on it, you just rest."

"That's what I was gonna say," complained Ranma, before walking over to a communications substation to call his cousins. He was brief in his conversation, keeping an eye on Luke who was simply standing by the side of the Goddess.

Then the talks ended, no real agreement made as Ranma had wanted. The New Earth ships had returned to their original position, before sending their guests home. Now, three years later, had the Empire tracked the Rebels to Hoth. The people in the NET, as it was dubbed, were surprised it had taken so bloody long to locate one base. But then again, the galaxy is a big place, even if it is nearly to capacity with space faring races.

"Let the battle go as it will," stated Tenchi from _Colorado_, "Keep an eye open for an Imperial movements in our direction."

Both the Empire and the Rebel Alliance had attempted to enter the NET, but were denied by the Fleet. Cargo, supply and delivery ships were scanned and permitted in, but nothing of military grade was allowed in the upper portion of the Territory while nothing but the New Earth Fleet ships were allowed in the system.

So the cousins, with their wives, sat back and watched as the Rebels were driven from Hoth by the Imperial War Machine. They saw where every ship went, as the _Falcon_ limped to Bespin while Luke's X-Wing headed to Dagobah for whatever reason.

"Guys," came the voice of Ranma Junior, the foremost expert in the Astrometrics field. After all, he'd found ways to improve sensor resolution to a range of a whopping two hundred light years without the use of relay stations. "We just found something on the far side of the galaxy you should see."

"Pipe it in, son," said Ranma with an eyebrow arched, before turning to the person manning tactical. "Relay to _Colorado_ and _Sister_, I want their input on whatever this is."

No sooner had to words left his mouth, than the viewer image changed from the Battle of Hoth to a star system literally on the other side of the galaxy from their position. It showed a planetary system, before zooming in on a gas giant, then focusing on one of its moons.

"My God," whispered Ranma, "You have got to be kidding me."

"Is that-?" started to ask Nabiki, before the screen zoomed in one final time to reveal something under construction in orbit of the moon of the gas giant.

"The question is, do we tell the Rebellion or let them figure it out on their own?" wondered Hild, both eyebrows raised at the image on the screen. Ships could be seen, zipping from the moon to the construct to one of the many Star Destroyers present.

They had stumbled across the beginning of the second Death Star . . .

TBC

Wow, the quickest update I've ever had. Now, see what I mean about not assuming? Nobody thought I'd go this route, which is good as it's not an overused plot device. Now to take a break, as my hands are cramped from all of this writing.


	32. TGD 12

Disclaimer: I am so broke, it isn't even funny. I'm not making any money off of this, not that it would help with my debts.

Rant: Side-stories? You know it. I will probably write them once this series is concluded, which is coming. It's bugging me. Sequel? Dunno, haven't thought that far ahead.

The Goddess Dilemma, part twelve

By: Jim Ohki

"This isn't good," deadpanned Tenchi, "This is _far_ from good." The Family was having yet another meeting, trying to determine their next course of action pertaining to the second Death Star. While it was readily agreed upon that they won't outright destroy the thing, the question was would they tell the Rebellion of its existence and location. At the moment, the question was so bogged down in the mud that not even a tow truck would help.

"We sit on it," said Ranma, "As soon as the Rebels even look like they are gearing up to attack, we move in behind them for a surprise attack on the Empire's flank."

Things had been quiet on the NET-Empire lines, even though neither side was trying to negotiate anything as they weren't talking. Since the expansion three years ago, the New Earth Territories had been content to sit in their corner of the galaxy, making certain to keep the Imperial and Rebel spies out of their ranks on the ships. The planets were a different matter, as the NET let the local systems enforce their own laws and regulations. At least to the edge of known space, as the New Earth System was two sectors into Wild Space.

"How's Tsunami?" asked Kasumi, ever the diplomat. She could detect the faintest hint that aggression was about to spring forth from the cousins, and force-shifted the transmission into a different gear.

"She's still unconscious," said a saddened Ayeka. The First Princess, if that title held anything when they got home, had missed the opportunity to speak to her sister when she had awoken for the brief time two years prior. "Although when that Luke Skywalker was here, Washu says that she now knows what is keeping her from waking."

"I know," said Ranma, "I was there. We really shouldn't make anymore of a presence than we already have because the one person responsible for this is Palpatine."

Just saying the name caused shuddering and looks of anger. They had watched as Palpatine manipulated events to his advantage for the entire time they had been in this universe. The way he operated even sickened Nabiki, as she wouldn't pit enemy against enemy and see who got killed.

"It that sense of yours again, isn't it?" wondered Seina, knowing that his cousin's sense would tingle when he was supposed, or not supposed, to do something that came up in meetings like this.

"Yeah," answered the pigtailed warrior with a shrug, "Every time somebody says go eliminate Palpatine now, the sense tingles and warns me to _not_ do that just yet. From what I can gather, it should be in about a year that we can make the attempt to get home."

The Rebels had scattered after their defeat at Hoth. There was an ambush on Bespin for not only Leia, Han and Chewie, but it was meant as bait to lure Luke out of hiding. When it worked, he came. While the Astrometric sensors weren't good enough to see inside of something without the aid of a window, they did see that when Vader left he wasn't in the greatest of moods.

Then the Rebel Fleet started to mass on their doorstep, Sullust not being far from Naboo. The Alliance would send messages at regular intervals into NET space, hoping that they could add the firepower of the New Earth Fleet to their own. It went for not, as the messages were ignored. Time passed quickly as an apparent climax was coming.

The climax did indeed come a year later, when the Rebels launched an attack on the second Death Star at Endor. The tingle in Ranma's senses disappeared at that moment, and he reacted.

"Time to go finish this," he told his cousins, having to wake them in the middle of the night, "I want you two to stay here with your families, and pack it up. I'll send my family to help you. I want everything loaded into the ships, and stations that we'd tug with us."

"Why are you going alone?" asked Seina, not understanding the thinking of Ranma.

"Not to spite you guys, that's for certain," was the answer. "You guys can think a little bit freer than our troops. You'll know how to improvise on obstacles. I'm taking the First through Seventh Fleets with me, leaving the rest on guard duty here."

"We'll be ready," assured Tenchi, "But are you certain that the Empire will die this day?"

"Oh yeah," Ranma stated with confidence, "Palpatine is at Endor now, trying to 'motivate' the construction crews to work faster."

The conversation died at that point, as there were things to do. The Fleet that was going cloaked, and jumped to maximum warp so they wouldn't miss any of the action. The two remaining cousins woke the others, and set them to tasks. New Earth came alive at once, all five hundred million residents gearing up to depart in a quick order. Nonessential personnel were moved into one of the Star Destroyers, as the kilometer long ships had the most interior space.

_-(Endor system)-_

The fleet dropped out of warp, just behind the Rebel fleet reverting from hyperspace. They came to a full stop, watching to see what would happen.

"The shield is still online," reported a Lieutenant at the lone science station on _Prometheus_.

"Rebel fleet breaking off . . . Imperial fleet bearing one-one-two mark one, range three hundred thousand kilometers," said the Lieutenant Commander at tactical.

"Wait for it," stated Ranma, leaning forward in his chair. "Weapon status of the Death Star?"

"Superlaser is functional," answered tactical, "Power drain in progress, they are preparing to fire."

As the Rebel fleet turned to run, the first shot from the Death Star came forth, destroying a Mon Calamari capital ship with ease. There was a short pause, then it fired again, taking yet another ship.

"The Rebels are engaging the Imperial fleet at point blank range," said tactical, "Do we deploy?"

"Decloak _Prometheus_, tell the fleet to stay cloaked," Ranma ordered, "Then open a channel to the Empire."

"Channel open, audio only," was the response two seconds later.

"Palpatine, _PREPARE TO DIE!_" roared the pigtailed warrior, in a Ryoga-like maneuver. Then he made a slashing motion across his throat, before speaking again. "Let's party, target all Imperial ships. Try not to damage the Rebels."

While the Imperial/Rebel fight had been joined, creating a jumble of ships and debris that went in every direction, once the seven hundred ships of the New Earth Fleet got involved everything went straight to hell. The element of surprise, despite the fact that _Prometheus_ had been visible, was still in their favor as capital ships, destroyers and fighters materialized from nothing to attack anything Imperial. Star Destroyers were crushed like paper, a few _Galaxy_'s getting free to take pot-shots at the shielded Death Star. When one torpedo actually made it to the unfinished hull, the battle seemed to pause. Another torpedo was fired, and it too impacted the immobile hulk.

Since they were keeping the TIE fighters busy, the Rebel fighters broke off to resume their original mission. The capital ships turned their attention to the _Super_-class Destroyer. Six quantum torpedoes were fired from a _Sovereign_ at the ten kilometer long city-ship, decimating the shield towers and engine ports.

Then the bridge was destroyed by an out-of-control A-Wing, sending the _Super_ to her death as the gravity well created by the Death Star's power plant pulled the ship into the unfinished monstrosity.

"Time to go," suddenly said Ranma, who had noted that the Rebel fleet was moving away quickly, regardless of the remnants of the Imperial fleet that were trying to slow them down.

"Message from New Earth," came from tactical, "Tsunami is awake. Everything is ready to go."

"Salvage anything of ours that was damaged, destroy what you can't," he ordered, "Then take us . . . home." There was a word that Ranma hadn't used in a long time. He, and the others, had agreed that it wouldn't do their esteem any good to start calling places they landed in home, lest they forget where they came from.

The Fleet jumped to warp seconds before the Death Star exploded, heralding the death of the Empire. While the galaxy started quite possibly the biggest recorded party anywhere, they ignored the NET. The worlds that were inside of the borders barely even remembered that there was a group of humans from beyond the edge of the galaxy that had staked a small corner for their own. All of a sudden, those ships that had protected their systems vanished, having turned to return to whatever planet was the homeworld.

The New Earth system was crowded. Between the ships salvaged, stolen, and built there were one thousand five hundred vessels of varying size present. That didn't even included the modified stations that were mobile when they weren't supposed to be.

_Tsunami_ was seeing action for the first time in thirty-six years. Once the Goddess of the same name had awoken, just seconds after the death of Palpatine, the ship moved from it's berth in the docks two planets away to achieve a high orbit. That had been right in the middle of the deconstruction of the stations that they couldn't take with, like the mining platforms and the Starbases, so it scared the shit out of the space-walkers. Ranma reappeared after the fleet was parked in an area that they'd be out of the way, standing on a ship that he hadn't been on in just under four decades.

"Tell me this is going to work," he complained, "Washu has had nearly forty years to figure out how to get us home on the next attempt, while giving a smoother ride. So tell me this will work."

"It'll work," deadpanned Washu, "Trust me, I've done everything I can with all of our side-projects that kept popping up."

The others present grumbled in agitation. They had been hopeful that the attempt to get home would be smooth and not a repeat performance of the last one that landed them where they are.

"Let's get this show on the road," dryly stated Ranma, motioning his family to move out. "God I hope this doesn't hurt . . ."

_-(Universe A, Ranma year 2005)-_

It had now been ten days since the disappearance of many people. The Juraian Royal Family was being tough as nails on the outside, but even the pompous ass Azusa was worried on the inside. The parents, or in other cases, surviving family members were all gathered at Earth, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for some good news, or worst case, the news that their loved ones were lost permanently.

The small flotilla of ships were staying close to Earth's orbit, leaving room for a reentry point while being ready to move if said point formed in their midst.

"Tea?" asked Nodoka of the crowded living room. Those family members of the missing had come to the Tendo residence to chat, to at least have something and someone to talk to. Tokimi was brushed off by many, while those that knew her name but had yet to interact with her gave her the complete cold shoulder. Nodoka received many nods in acceptance before she turned to enter the kitchen.

"Wha-?" said those present connected to a ship, "Dimensional rift? The hell is going on up there?" It was a creepy in stereo bit from those present, as their ships relayed the same information to different parties at the same time.

"They're back," shouted Genma from the other room, "I can feel the boy from here!" Even though he was still crucified (by use of leather straps instead of nails) in another room, they had kept him alive for Ranma.

"He's right," said Soun, "I can feel Ranma's aura from here . . ."

"We have a visual," said one of the GP faceless, "Rift at bearing two-six-two mark five, distance is forty thousand K."

A holographic window opened, revealing the rift hanging there in space waiting to be used. The fleet massed had moved closer to the gateway just in case this was something off the wall, like an invasion.

The first ship through was _Tsunami_ herself. Cheers erupted instantly from that group, then the configuration transponding as _Tsunami's Sister_ came through, earning cheers from that camp. The two ships paused, assessed were they were, and instantly began to tell the others to get out of the way.

Next through was an unidentified ship, her transponder sending out _Prometheus_ plain as day. That ship moved quickly away, before one that had _Colorado _on the hull plating appeared, she too moving away from the still open gate.

Then the influx began as ships of varying sizes poured through the gateway, moving away swiftly to make room for those that would follow. The flotilla, and those on the ground, were stupefied at the number of ships that were quickly clogging the Sol System with traffic. Then came the stations, from small defense platforms to entire shipyards, followed by monster-sized ships.

Liberated from varying shipyards across the galaxy were a full two hundred Star Destroyers, _Victory-Two_ frigates, Interdictors, and a few something's that had landed in their lap a couple of years back. The three missing _Super_-class ships had finally reverted from a bad hyperspace jump in the New Earth System, devoid of any crew. The ships had been inspected inside and out, no trace of what had happened to the two hundred thousand member crew was ever found.

By the time the gateway had closed, there were fifteen hundred four ships, twelve shipyards, innumerable defense turrets, and five hundred million extra people in the Sol System.

Hails went out to the mystery fleet, and one of the ground was quick to state her surprise when the 'phone' was answered.

"RANMA!" cried Nodoka, happy to see her only child in good health, flanked by his family.

"Hello Earth!" was the cheer by the Saotomes.

"We'll be down in a minute," said Ranma, an ear to ear grin threatening to rip his face apart.

The _entire_ Saotome family materialized right in front of them, followed by the Masaki family and the Yamada family. The three cousins fell to their knees, kissing the ground in thanks that they were finally home.

"Lucy, I'm home!" Ranma hollered in his best Ricky Ricardo impersonation, before being tackled by an auburn haired bundle of energy that was his mother. She was busy planting kisses all over his face, while giving him the 'Mother Death Grip' special hug.

"Momma!" he nearly cried, using several techniques to rein in his emotions. The Saotome wives all spread out, mingling either with their blood relatives or in-laws.

"Ranma, who're they?" asked Soun, taking note of the younger versions of the original party that were standing stock-still, petrified at the stories they'd been told of these people.

"Kids, meet your Grandmother Nodoka Saotome," Ranma introduced, making a slight push to his mother to send her in their direction.

"Grandbabies?" she blurted, victory fans springing forth from nowhere as Nodoka started the grandchildren dance. Then she noticed that the youngest, one that was clinging to Karin, was about three while the oldest appeared to be eighteen. Her dance died, a look of confusion on her face.

"There is much to talk about," said Nabiki, having gotten away from the Tendo Patriarch Waterworks Plant with minimal soakage. "Kids, we have a good sized population to get settled in. Begin terraforming Mars for colonization." As the elder children left to their tasks, the adults walked inside a house that they hadn't seen in many years . . . to them anyway. Ranma was the first to spy the calendar, and with a strangled noise he face planted into the floor. Those that had been missing quickly followed his example, in the same order.

"Only ten days?" Kasumi looked panicked as she rung her hands together, desperate to keep thoughts out of her mind.

"We'd better make sure this isn't some alternate parallel universe," Ranma comforted the shaken elder Tendo sister. "Hey, yo, mom. What was the last thing to have happened before we left?" Nodoka launched into the story, still fresh on her mind.

_-Flashback-_

"So, you must be Ranma Saotome," began Seto, having settled in front of said person. "Tsunami herself didn't do you justice. Come, we must have a talk."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," backpedaled the pigtailed man, "What are you going on about? Who are you?" Those were the first two questions fired off, basically starting the Saotome Brain. Meaning Ranma went into ten thousand rapid fire questions mode, leaving no time in-between them for an answer. The noise of his jet-propelled questions drowned out Airi's reunion with her Grandson and family.

Seto herself looked like Akane right before she produced her Hentai-Mallet. She even lost count on which question Ranma had asked due to the sheer volume of them. She was getting a headache, not good for anybody else around the Devil Princess of Jurai.

"That is enough," was the sound emitted from her mouth, but apparently shields had gone up around Ranma's ears. Those that knew better started backing away, while those that wanted to be on Ranma's good side came closer.

"I said that's enough!" roared Seto, still with no effect. A vein appeared on her forehead, a scowl marring her face. Ranma, with his martial arts training, had yet to pause for air in the last five minutes. He had yet to even break a sweat from using oxygen so fast. Seto turned after getting tapped on the shoulder, to see one of Ranma's friends presenting her with a megaphone. Arching one eyebrow in confusion, she took it and thumbed the switch.

"**HEY! PAY ATTENTION!**" she quite literally hollered directly next to Ranma's ear, although it was greatly amplified by the 'phone. Ranma stopped, looking at Seto like she had lost her mind. High frequency forced feedback emanated from the megaphone, making all present cringe. Seto quickly turned it off, and threw it into a subspace pocket for future use with a certain Emperor.

"That's better," she said.

"HUH? WHATDAYA SAY?" shouted Ranma, trying to get the ringing out of his ears. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! GIMMIE A FEW TO GET THIS NOISE TO STOP!"

_THUD!_

Yep, face vaults abound for everybody present. Ranma, being himself, decided to go raid the fridge since everybody else had decided it was nap time. Meaning by the time the others (and there are a LOT of them) stood back up, he was no where to be found.

"So . . ." began Ukyo, not wanting to incur any wrath from anybody. This started the rounds of introductions again. The Soul Calibur team went first, glossing over their past. Then the duo from Shadow Hearts came next, followed by the Ranma crew, then the O!MG people and finally the new arrivals of GXP.

Ranma had paid attention, noting the evil look from Seto the entire time. He just shrugged it off, the highest insult to be given to Seto Masaki Jurai . . . the _**SNUB**_. It took the efforts of Tenchi, Airi, Katsuhito, Seina and the goliath known as Nightmare to hold her back. Well, all that Nightmare had to do was lift his sword with its crusted blood, not actually touch her.

"I invite you all to the _Mikagami_," declared Seto in an obvious tactical maneuver to get what she wanted.

"I'm there," answered Ranma from somewhere inside the house. "But who all wants to come with?"

_THUD!_

"Well, that was unexpected," deadpanned Tenchi, with a mouth full of dirt. "Though he does bring up a good point."

There was an immediate showing of hands from those on the _**Certificate**_, unsurprisingly. That meant the elder sisters Tendo, Ukyo, Xian, Urd, Peorth and Hild were in. Xianghua, Cassandra and Taki raised their hands after some quick glances. Karin wasn't too far behind them, something compelling her to remain at Ranma's side at all costs. Lucia shook her head in the negative, along with the remainder of the Soul Calibur crew.

Unnoticed by them, Ranma had appeared in the door to the house, giving very slight nods to Seto. She had a very good idea that the pig-tailed martial artist didn't want unwelcome elements screwing around with any aspect of his life. Seto would look at a person with an arm raised, and very subtly look in Ranma's direction.

"We'll follow in the _Mizuki_," stated Tenchi for his and Seina's group, knowing that there was really no choice when it came down to Seto. Ranma shrugged at that, not really caring since he hadn't had the time to bond with Tenchi. As the Juraian equivalent to transporters began moving people from the ground to the two ships, Ranma approached Seto, giving his thanks for a reprieve from the life of Nerima. As the last two on the ground that were going, they both looked around to give any late-comers the opportunity to 'climb aboard'.

Akane, in another fit of impishness, tried to join them before they left the surface of Earth. Ranma shook his head in the negative only once, but it was all Seto had to see.

"Sorry, full up," exclaimed Seto with false cheer, taking Ranma with her. Akane's rage boiled, being denied the chance at redemption . . . or to totally FUBAR the rest of her life, depending on the point of view. She quickly charged her Baka-Mallet, and flung it at the _Mikagami_ as she lifted into the controlled subspace rift. Just before the ship disappeared, the ki-mallet made contact . . .

_-End Flashback-_ (And I hope to NOT do many of these)

"Yep, that was it," said Ranma, "Speaking of, where is she? I though she'd be here to either look at me with some love before hitting me, or come out swinging as soon as I set foot on the planet."

"Not now, Ranma," chided his mother, "She's still very upset at a lot of things. But there is a surprise for you. Just head into the game room."

He smelt it as soon as he entered the hallway. There was only one being in any of the universes that produced this smell. Wookies and Klingons had nothing on Genma Saotome when he was sweating bullets . . . actually, in general they smelled better than he did on any given day.

Slightly turning to anybody that followed, he was surprised to see that he was alone. Most of the Saotome wives club had broken off and headed for the furo, while the rest had been corralled by Nodoka.

Peering around the corner, Ranma could see his father suspended in midair by way of being crucified. He appeared to be mumbling and weakly struggling to get free.

"Hello Pops," dryly stated Ranma, "I see they've taken good care of you."

"BOY! GET ME DOWN FROM-" was as far as the Saotome Patriarch got before finding the world spinning and producing psychedelic effects.

"I'm older than you are, _**OLD**_ man," barked the pigtailed warrior. "So I really don't want to hear you bossing me around anymore, got it?" The look of confusion that flashed across Genma's face was priceless, while his jabbering like an idiot rounded out the picture. Ranma couldn't help it, he broke down laughing at the sight before him.

"Thanks Pops," he guffawed on the floor after a moment, "After the life I've had, I needed that." Ranma left the room shortly afterwards, to walk straight into an ambush in the living room.

"What the hell did you do to her?" seethed Ivy, taking a swipe at Ranma's head with her sword. "What did you do to our ninja? Answer me!"

"What, did I break her or something?" countered Ranma after jumping away. He looked around the room, to find Taki leaning against the wall shaking her head in disappointment.

"We just never expected so see her settle down and have kids," remarked Nightmare, after putting Ivy in a full Nelson. "At least, not so soon."

"More to the point, it's only been _ten days_," Lucia stated with a frown. "How the hell did you do all of this in ten days?"

"Ten days to you," Nabiki let out with a sigh, "Thirty-six _years_ to us. A lot of things changed, came, and went in that time." When she'd finished that sentence, her left arm was draped over Kasumi's shoulders in a loose hug. Not that it helped, the elder Tendo sister breaking into a crying fit.

"Aw damn it," swore Ranma, "I'll explain what's happened, you two go get some fresh air or something." The wives of Saotome all left at that point, making sure to take the younger generation that wasn't preoccupied with them. Ranma opened his mouth, then closed it before nodding to an internal debate.

"Where's Akane?" he asked, glancing again at the calendar, "Is she at school?"

"Yes," answered Nodoka, not quite grasping what he was trying to get at. Before she could speak her questions, he bounded out of the house to fetch the youngest Tendo sister.

Airi and Mikami had been paying attention to what was happening, and as one turned to a faceless.

"Prepare for rioting at the high school."

_-(Furinkan High)-_

The student body was out for lunch, enjoying the sunlight heat in the early winter. Akane sat with Sayuri and Yuka, enjoying the company of her two friends when the noise just stopped. Students that had been playing, running about, or just being loud were suddenly quiet, like when a God descends from on high.

"He's _BACK_!" screamed on of the freshmen, before running away in terror. The student body parted like the Red Sea, admitting one Ranma Saotome back into their midst.

"Hello, did you miss me?" asked the pigtailed warrior with mirth, inducing the jet engine known as nosy children asking a million questions at once.

"DELINQUENT!" shouted what sounded like a ten year old girl, making the students part again to admit Hinako.

"And here you thought I'd be gone for good," came from Ranma's mouth, ego cranked to full. "Everything that's happened involved me. The visitors here just wanted to talk to me, and Akane blew that. Then I got to jump universes _and_ time, hoping to make it home."

"Yeah, and?" deadpanned Hinako, "You've still be AWOL for ten days. You naughty boy you! HAPPO FIFTY YEN SATSU!"

"No, I think not," countered Ranma, minimizing the damage by tweaking his ki. Having had all of those techniques stuffed into his brain helped immensely as the counter to the Satsu was among them. The drain started, then stopped almost instantaneously to each other.

"What?" asked a surprised pupil of Happosai. "Ranma, what did you just do to me?" While the ki taken was minimal, it had forced the transformation from a ten year old into the twenty-eight year old bombshell.

"Nothing, just redirected your attack to siphon ki off of the planet itself," he answered nonchalantly. Then he vanished from sight, before reappearing two seconds later. "And now I've pressed the pressure points to lock your vampirism nature away, forcing your body to remain as it is."

"NO!" screamed the former ki-vampire, "Now it will be impossible for me to discipline the delinquents!" She collapsed to the ground, bawling her eyes out at the loss of control that she so enjoyed.

"Not my problem," dryly stated Ranma, before turning to find the subject of his search. Before he could speak, Yuka and Sayuri pounced.

"You just stay away from her," threatened Yuka, "Or so help me I'll kick your ass."

"Are you stupid or something?" countered Ranma, "Or is it that you just don't follow current events?"

"Go to hell pervert," deadpanned Sayuri. She noticed that Ranma was beginning to tense up, before dropping a bombshell.

"Fine then. If Akane doesn't want to meet her nieces and nephews, then who am I to argue?" With that said, he turned to leave, completely fed up with the situation. Ranma made it all of three steps before the two girls blocked his path.

"What the hell are you talking about?" demanded Yuka, looking at Akane for her reaction. Granted she had turned red, but from which emotion neither her, nor anybody else for that matter, could tell.

"Since she'll probably blab it here, pay attention to what I have to say," said Ranma, no malice in his voice. "Ten days here was thirty-six years for us. We have been to more places, caused havoc in more timelines, than Sailor Pluto would care to admit. We have been happy, saddened, and angered in that time. The adult population of *_our_* Mars colony, all three hundred fifty million of them, are combat ready and awaiting a command from one of the Family. But that isn't important, I just thought that Akane would like to know that she is an Aunt, even if she'll never get to meet two of my boys nor one of my daughters."

"Ranma, what happened?" spoke Akane for the first time. She could see the pain in his eyes at the mentioning of the three lost ones.

"They gave their lives to save their mother," he answered, anger appearing on his face. Those that had begun to crowd around Ranma backed away when his battle aura appeared. It was a multitude of colors, so strong that loose rocks began to float while the ground protested the abuse. Just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished. "Their mother is your oldest sister. All of us are broken up by the event, but she's far worse off than the rest of us. Please, try not to bring the subject up. Let her bring it up on her own. Now then, are you coming home?"

Ranma didn't wait for an answer, instead maneuvering his way around Akane's friends and making tracks for the gate.

"SAOTOME!" roared Hinako, "While I'm sorry for your loss, you have to return to school as of tomorrow. I don't believe your story of *_thirty-six years_*, so I expect you and those members of your family that are of school age to be here. Got it?"

"Certainly," deadpanned Ranma, trying to calculate just how many actual eighteen year olds in their senior year would have to flock to Furinkan. Deciding to go the easy route, Ranma thought up a solution that would have to be run by the wives. Letting the matter drop, he returned to the Nerima Expressway to make his trek back to the Tendo Dojo.

He couldn't see, but Akane had also started to head home with the excuse of a family emergency left in her wake . . .

_-(Tendo/Saotome Residence)-_

Ranma landed from his leap nine blocks away, without disturbing the flowers that were growing around the pond. He could hear the tortured screams of his father, which he considered to be music to his ears. Knowing that he was back in a safe-zone, Ranma pulled a communicator device from his storage space and called his children back to the house. It didn't take long for them to appear, the after-effects of the transporter beam wearing off before Akane made it in the front gate.

"I'm here," she called out, before her elder sisters came out the front door, followed by the rest of the wives and the entire contingent of children of varying ages.

"Okay Akane," started Ranma, "This may seem weird, but trust me it's easier to just go with it and try not to think about the paradoxes that are created. First, the oldest two. Junior here is the son of Nabiki," said boy waved at his newly discovered Aunt, even though he'd heard stories about her. "Hairbrush is Shampoo's boy, Kenji is Ukyo's boy. This firecracker is Ranko, Urd's daughter."

Akane had turned red again, before the emotion seemed to drain completely from her. Her eyes shifted over to Tokimi, who had a pen and pad out making notes on who was who for the holiday cards and gifts. She nodded to Ranma, indicating for him to continue.

"This one is Penelope, Peorth's bundle of energy. The future bombshell is Mara, Hild's daughter. The tike held by Taki is Kato, and the one held by Karin is Yuri."

The children stood in chronological order, the oldest two on Akane's left and the youngest on her right. The oldest boys were a near perfect clone of Ranma, with subtle features that could have only come from the mother. Junior had Nabiki's dark brown hair, while Hairbrush had panther black hair. Neither wore it in a pigtail, both instead choosing to have their hair be in a military trimmed look. Then came Kenji, Ranko, and Penelope. They were a few months apart in age, all having crested the sixteen year mark. Kenji looked more like Ukyo with the subtle undertones coming from Ranma. (This is a first, a Saotome doing something *_subtle_*). Ranko looked like a miniature female Ranma, hence the name. Although her hair was shoulder-blade length, strawberry-blonde color. Penelope looked like both of her parents, with dark red hair that went to the small of her back. Mara, Kato and Yuri ranged in age from thirteen to three. Mara looked like a miniature Urd with red hair. Kato looked more like his mother Taki, having black hair that was wild. Yuri had carrot colored hair, but being so young the family knew that it would probably darken to an apple red while his face was starting to show both parents equally.

"Oh boy," swooned several people, glad that Tokimi had taken notes.

"Don't worry," said Kasumi, appearing to be holding in her emotions. "We plan on a family photo every year." Even as the words left her mouth, the emotional mask in place broke, allowing the pain inside to show outside. A few tears squeaked out before she fled back into the house.

"Besides, you think this is confusing?" Ranma tasted his foot, finding that it lacked flavor. "Try to be in our shoes with the population over there." When he applied the butter sauce, Ranma found his foot to be tasty. That was one of the things that wasn't supposed said to anybody.

"What do you mean, the population over there?" demanded Airi, while pointing in the direction of space. Ranma cringed before slumping.

"Not a damned thing!" chimed in Nabiki, "He doesn't mean anything by it! Right Ranma?" The last two words came out like a threat, and going on the fourth decade of marriage Ranma had a great idea what was at stake.

"Yeah, forget I said anything about it," he shrugged, however the first case of Foot In Mouth Disease in years would not be denied. "Forget I even mentioned anything about the clones." His eyes boggled, slapping a hand over his mouth to find that it was still going. Ranma started to panic, wondering why his mouth was operating on its own.

The elder children looked intrigued by the situation, never having seen their father's mouth take something at will and run with it. Literally. He was trying to shut it down, but Ranma was obviously having no success as he'd pulled his hand away. "Help me, PLEASE! I can't get my mouth to stop!"

The fighters, meaning Ukyo, Xian, Taki and Karin, all pulled back their right hands, then delivered a straight punch to Ranma's face. He went down in a heap, some unseen force bouncing him back to his feet, mouth still moving.

Sweatdrops appeared on everybody's head at the point, as Nabiki whipped her shirt off to stuff it in the Saotome maw. Of course she'd taken to the habit of wearing an undershirt over a bra, after all clothing seemed to shred really easy around Ranma.

Kasumi look amused, something that hadn't been seen with sincerity in a few years. Then Belldandy appeared from the house, followed by a couple more Gods and Goddesses. Oh, and an entire legion of Valkyries.

"Bell, what-?" started Urd, not quite understanding what was going on. That was, before a demonic portal opened up admitting Mara with her own legion of lower demons and oni.

"What is the meaning of this, Mara?" demanded Hild, her starburst power mark flaring.

"What did I do now, mom?" whined the younger Mara, making the older one blink-blink in surprise. Not just at the return of the Boss, but the younger clone of Urd.

"Not you dearie," soothed Hild, before turning her glare to full power, "I was talking to your older sister."

"What did I do now, mom?" mirrored Urd, complete with a ten year olds' pout.

_THUD!_

"Not you dearie," tried Hild again, this time talking to her older daughter. "I was talking to your sister . . . and stop it! I see the look in your eyes at bouncing this back and forth like nobody's business."

"Aw man," came in stereo from Urd and Chibi-Mara at the complete shut down of their game. Hild turned her gaze back to Mara, demanding answers with her eyes.

"Boss . . . what a surprise." nervously chuckled Mara, taking in the mortals surrounding her. The power level of the pigtailed one was just under Kami-sama himself. Her course of action decided upon, a quick wave of the arm later sent the demon forces back to the underworld.

"They stay," boldly stated one of the three males Gods present while indicating the Valkyries. "Yggdrasil is having a fit with the addition of five hundred million plus files at once, and there are . . . glitches."

The mere mention of the word caused those that didn't already know, like Urd, Peorth and Hild, to flinch. They turned to Ranma, only to see him shrug with indifference. Then they realized that he wasn't about to voice his opinion as he still had a shirt stuffed in his mouth. Chibi-Mara decided that it was a good idea to pull the shirt out of her father's mouth, which freed the FIMD to attack.

"Of course it's gonna glitch," he spoke, twisting and diving away from any that jumped at him to shut him up. "When the figures you mentioned are clones of my family, Tenchi's family, and Seina's family mixed, hashed, blended, shaken and stirred into one _GIANT_ martini."

"This has to be the work of a demon," remarked Hild in a sidebar with Urd, Peorth, Bell and an un-introduced Skuld. "I see it in his eyes, he doesn't have the faintest idea what half of what he just said means." Each casting a quick divination spell, they noticed that there was a line connecting Ranma to Mara.

"Mara, front and center!" ordered an irritated Hild. Her booming proclamation was rewarded with Mara and Chibi-Mara leaping to stand at attention before her. "Not you Mara-chan, the other Mara."

The two that were named the same looked at each other, Hild, and back a few times before the younger one took a risk and backed away. She was rewarded with a smile, before the glare came back to be directed at the older one.

"What is the meaning of this?" demanded the Demon Queen, hair frazzled in agitation. Mara took note of the visible line, trying her hardest to jog her memory. When it came to her, she fell over before righting herself.

"I'm sorry Boss, look at contract zero-four-one-one-one-nine-nine-zero-Gamma-Sierra, " responded Mara after a couple of moments, having remembered why she had processed the contract to begin with. Hild took no time in pulling the contract file from the archives, briefly glossing over it, before doing something unheard of in the history of the competition between Heaven and Hell.

She handed the file to Ranma, without saying a single word. Her eyes were screaming apology, while her facial expression was neutral.

Ranma read the file, reread it, then shredded it in a fit of anger. While destroying the paper copy had no effect as the hardcopy was still in the system, it did have the effect of releasing some stress before Ranma was all over Mara.

He didn't go for the fancy switching of forms or uber-powerful attacks, instead settling on the classics of punching, kicking and being unpredictable. Once he'd beaten her to submission, he disappeared in the house for a moment before reappearing with Genma, still attached to the cross.

"She look familiar Pops?" he ground out between clenched teeth. The sweating Genma took a look around at the gathered assembly, before his eyes settled on the abused mass of flesh that resembled Mara the Demoness.

"Oh shit," grumbled the abused voice box of the Saotome Patriarch, head hanging limply as the memory of the day he forged the contract came back full force. It came so unbidden to the front of his mind that it broadcasted to those that could read thoughts.

Meaning the Gods and Goddesses, as well as the silent Commander Mist of the Valkyries, suddenly had to locate a bush or convenient trash can to be ill.

"You made a deal with a Demon," Ranma rightfully accused, bringing the others into the loop. "A deal that damn near ruined my life, just so YOU COULD LIVE ON EASY STREET! YOUR GREED KNOWS NO BOUNDS!" Then the beat down commenced, it a similar manner to the one handed to Mara. Only when Genma started pleading mercy, Ranma didn't stop. "You *_sold_* me as fucking property to literally everybody, didn't you? Then you made this deal, make it so that I had no hopes of going anywhere so that you could 'swing in and save the day'! Kept me on the road so that I couldn't learn anything, kept me ignorant in life so that you could dictate my actions! Guess what you piece of shit, it backfired!" There were none brave enough to interrupt the ranting Ranma, to tell him that Genma was no longer conscious to hear him. None dared get in the way, especially when bones would snap and Ranma would just get egged on by the sound.

Then something new happened. Ranma just stopped, fists balled at his sides as he cried over the broken body of his father.

"You *_tortured_* me for eleven years," were the words spoken so softly that the others within hearing range had to strain. "The Neko-ken, the taunting, the starvation, the straight abandonment whenever I 'failed' you."

"Back away!" roared Nabiki, finally catching on to the signs of the Shi-Shi Hokodan. She started to push the others back, herding them to the street and beyond. Those sensitive enough to detect the power build up suddenly shifted gears, making the mass of people move faster.

"SHI-SHI HOKODAN!" was heard from seven blocks away, before the mushroom of chi erupted skyward to collapse back upon itself. Then a new mushroom cloud appeared, as the shockwave kicked up dust and debris. It traveled out from the source, leveling houses and the landscape with ease. The others had made it ten blocks before the wave came, knocking them to the ground and making them tumble.

"DADDY!" cried the younger children, while the older ones were in complete awe at the destruction created by one person.

"RANMA!" shouted the Family. During the confusion, Tenchi and Seina appeared with their contingents only to get shoved in a massive evacuation of the area.

As the dust settled, a few of those present could see the silhouette of Genma sailing over the horizon. Rushing back to the house, they found Ranma in the midst of a kata as he attempted to work out the rest of his aggressions.

The wives recognized the tempo that he was using instantly, one the was hard and fast set to The Great American Nightmare by Rob Zombie. It would have to be one of the tunes that a certain somebody had hooked him on for use with his katas, as the speed of the song was one that set a quick and furious pace.

At the end of the final verse, Ranma sent a punch directly into the ground. Tremors sprang forth, traveling outwards to points unknown.

"Would you look at that," commented Soun.

"I don't believe it," added Nodoka, looking around the scenery.

"Ranma, how in the world did you miss the house?" asked Nabiki, before instantly regretting ridiculing what could be a miracle.

"I did?" returned the warrior, turning to see the lack of handy-work. "Okay, well . . . this is a bad thing, why?"

"Never you mind," stated Karin, "We have a roof over our heads. We also need to get settled in."

"Oh yeah, I nearly forgot," sheepishly said Ranma, scratching the back of his head. Then he took stock of the leveled neighborhood, shrugging his shoulders at the return of the Nerima Bizarre Syndrome.

Those that had already taken part in the story had filtered out, either helping to clean the yard or begin repairs for the neighbors. Ranma noted that Miseto had been beamed into the back yard in her own planter, Tsunami standing next to her with Washu and a subdued Tokimi . . . sulking? Okay, wonder what happened there. His mother, father-in-law, Akane, Mousse, Konastu, Maxi, Nightmare, Kilik, Yunsung, Ivy, Lucia, the Juraian Emperor and Queens, Belldandy, Skuld, Thor, Saturn, Anubis, Mist and Mara were idling chatting, getting to know each other.

They were at least able to make introductions to each other before Ranma cleared his throat. He took a seat on a handy rock next to the pond, beginning the tale.

At first, it seemed funny. That lasted all of five seconds before the tree projected herself out, showing the end result of the happenings in the first universe that they visited. Then he continued into the story of the second universe, having Shinji and Rei come out of hiding to be introduced.

Lucia let loose a snarl at the part where her friend had been shot, but that was quickly handled as Ranma continued into the third universe.

He had left no detail out up to this point, however the emotions behind the details were missing. Not that it mattered, the assembly was hooked on every single word.

Ranma even managed to make it through thirty-three years of history in the third universe before any emotion showed. He turned to Junior, who had been standing partially in the shadows, asking for the security footage from the _Defiant_ that had ultimately saved Kasumi.

"This part, I cannot speak," sadly stated Ranma, "However, the event happened near a constant security point, and was captured by the ships' computer. We salvaged the entire ship, but have not, until now, dared to watch the footage. From the reports I've heard, brace yourselves. This will not be pretty."

A holographic display opened, fast forwarding through the mundane footage to stop with a timer reading plus two minutes. There was a slight view out of a window, which showed a planet in the background with ships making a break for it.

"Computer," spoke Ranma to the air, earning a chirp and surprised looks in return, "Begin playback, standard speed."

The footage immediately began to pitch to and fro, as the planet in the background exploded. Kasumi and her children stumbled into range of the camera at that point, the three young ones having their mother in a pocket of protection. The camera shuddered from an impact to the ship, forcing the four to the floor. The timer was now at thirty-five seconds, which earned a few looks as time flew by, just like the crewmembers that were trying to keep the ship intact. When the timer reached zero, part of the wall on the right exploded, sending out a plasma flame. The children reacted instantly, as their father had trained them to, by shielding Kasumi the best they could. Unfortunately for those watching, the burst of plasma didn't block the view, and the entire assembly gasped when the girl, the obvious youngest, suddenly began to vaporize. Then the two boys swung into motion, shoving Kasumi behind them as the created a small path out of the plasma fire with their bodies.

When the fire suppression system finally kicked in, it was too late. Kasumi lay immobile were she had fallen, safely out of range of the fire. Those gathered could see the burns on her right side, but the most unnerving thing was the far wall. There were inverted shadows from the heat of the flame, from where it had scorched the wall while the boys were on their feet.

The timer, long since forgotten, read minus twenty seconds.

"It happened that quick," Ranma choked out, "And I . . . I was nowhere to be found. That happened seventeen sectors away from where I was at the time."

Taking a breather by simply hanging his head, much to the relief of the others as this was a lot to absorb, Ranma silently let the tears fall.

"Yes," spoke Kasumi from the back, "That's the way it happened."

"Including the audio?" asked Airi, her eyes watery from the playback. All she got in return was a nod, before everybody was floored by the power output of Ranma.

"Oh yes, I got those motherfuckers but good!" he ground out, spooking those that hadn't seen his true angry side before. "I left that planet killer Death Star to the native Rebels. Instead, I hit the Empire where it hurt the most."

The freeze-frame disappeared to show a real time shot of the now assembled shipyard twenty million kilometers from Earth, zooming in on the modified docks for the Star Destroyers and their support.

"It took four years to *_acquire_* those ships," he pointed out, "But it made a difference. Those two hundred vessels were at various yards across the galaxy. The Empire certainly couldn't build them fast enough, especially after we destroyed not only the orbital facilities, but anything on the ground that manufactured parts." The shot changed directions, to show the three _Super_-class ships. "Those three, we drove out of the docks before the Empire could take them out on a shakedown cruise. We still haven't figured out what happened to the crew, all we know is they jumped to hyperspace and didn't reappear for three years, just to drop in our collective laps."

Ranma continued the story from that point, straight up to the final battle at Endor. With the assistance of the holographic display window, Ranma had something to make a running commentary with.

"Wow," was the only thing that Airi could think to say. However the pompous ass Azusa decided that now was a good time to act up.

"This is all your fault," came from his mouth, a line Ranma hadn't heard in a while. "You attracted Seto, Tsunami and my girls somehow, and because the Old Hag wanted to chew on your ear she would hear nothing of our protests. Then one of *_your_* fiancées has the nerve to attack a Juraian Warship, one that was attempting to enter subspace causing havoc with the matrix."

"Hey now," deadpanned Ranma, trying to derail the Emperor of Jurai. Nothing seemed to work as the man's mouth continued. By the time Azusa had either discredited or straight disregarded half of the tale Ranma had just relayed, the pigtailed warrior had enough.

"We have it all of film, you heard the emotion in my wife's voice," drawled Ranma, "Yet you doubt me . . . you doubt us. Why?"

"You Earthlings are all alike," spat Azusa, his mouth running away for certain now. "This whole planet has been nothing but trouble recently."

*_WHAP_*

A direct assault by Funaho didn't seem to help, and the death glare coming from Misaki had no effect. Before they, or any of the Royal Guard on the surface could react, Ranma was in Azusa's face.

"Get off of our planet," he ordered, "Get out of our system. Azusa Masaki Jurai, just *_get out_*!"

"And if I refuse?" taunted the Emperor, not moving one muscle. By now Kasumi had fished out a communicator to relay what was going on literally in her backyard. The Family was scrambling to respond, minus the already present Sasami/Tsunami and Miseto.

"Do you really want a war with us?" asked Ranma, while lifting Azusa off of the ground with one arm. "After all we have been through, do you really think it would be wise to start a war with *_us_*?"

"I am ruler of the Juraian Empire," spat said person, "I have more of everything over you. I could crush you like a bug."

"Okay then," intoned Ranma, surprising everybody by letting Azusa go. Although it seemed like the recently returned warrior was trying to compose himself. Shrugging at some internal debate, he spoke again. "I meant it, get off of Earth. You have five seconds to remove your pompous ass before I do it for you. You are no longer welcomed here, and if I see so much as *_one_* weapon port open on any of your ships I will order mine to defend the homeworld."

"Lady's Funaho, Misaki," continued Ranma after a pause, "You two are always welcome here. Even if we disagree, at least you two are civilized about it." Tenchi, Seina, and their families suddenly appeared. "Just like you guys. We may have our disagreements, pouts and temper tantrums, but at least you're all civilized about it."

"What's happened?" asked Ayeka of Tsunami, bringing her sister into the fold. When she was told what had happened, Ayeka fired off a combination Funaho/Misaki glare at her father.

"You can't tell me what to do," dryly stated Azusa, "In fact, I'm the one to tell you what to do. Because I don't buy that movie you had us sit through-"

*_WHAM, WHAP, SLAP_*

"You . . . monster!" cried Kasumi, partially lifting her blouse to reveal the light pick scars that adorned her right side. "Do these look faked to you?"

"Get the hell out of my house!" roared Soun, his spine firmly entrenched as somebody had made one of his girls cry. Out came Demon-Head, which did spook a more than a few present.

"-the first thing you will do is surrender those ships to us," spoke Azusa like he hadn't been interrupted. "Then Ayeka and Sasami will return home, minus Tenchi or any other extra people that have been attached to them."

"GET OFF MY PLANET BEFORE I KILL YOU!" roared Ranma, finally fed up with the Emperor. His power began to charge, and for the first time Azusa began to wonder if maybe he should stop underestimating the Earthlings. "Junior, alert the fleet. I want _everything_ in system and ready to fight."

The orders were carried out quickly, and the live hologram showed the visible radiation surges as ships reverted from warp on the return trip from patrol. The capital ships in the yards went from a dim standby lighting coloration to full tilt, especially the engine exhaust ports. The Fleet stacked and organized, then placed themselves between the flotilla and Earth.

"The Galaxy Police will not aid the Juraians if war breaks," sternly stated Mikami, "as witnesses, this was started by Emperor Azusa Masaki Jurai."

The GP ships in orbit suddenly pulled back and to the side, away from any structure and Earth in a show of neutrality. The few pirate ships wisely followed, especially as the scanners started to pick up the weapons pointed at them.

The Juraian Armada, consisting primarily of drones, suddenly appeared from subspace. Azusa had been quick to integrate the drones into his fleet, since Seto wasn't around to stop him. The ships belonging to Funaho and Misaki pulled from the formation to descend in Earth's atmosphere to pick up the Queens.

"We do not acknowledge the military action taken by Azusa," they said simultaneously. "We recognize Earth's defense as just. This is considered an invasion by Jurai of Earth." Then the two were gone, their ships returning to subspace to make the journey to Jurai to begin the proceedings there.

"Just surrender boy, you have no hope against me," goaded Azusa, not quite comprehending that he was on his own on this one.

"You're still here, why?" deadpanned Ranma, before moving back into the personal space of Azusa to begin his version of negotiations . . . with his fists. Only eight blows landed before Azusa was beamed back aboard his ship. The two fleets, comparable in size hung there, staring the other down.

"Don't fire unless they do," spoke Ranma into a communicator, "If they wish to withdraw, allow them to do so. Do not allow them any forward motion."

Many people on the ground, not just in the Tendo Dojo, could look into the now night sky and see the larger ships sitting there. The glow from the engine ports on the Star Destroyers was very distinguishable.

"You know sisters," said Tokimi to Tsunami and Washu, "I can see that my brand of chaos isn't needed. These Earthlings, in any universe, do a wonderful job of mucking up the works all on their own."

"Yes, but at least they do everything that they can to fix their messes," spoke Washu, surprising Tsunami by beating her to the punch with the answer.

"Unfortunately, this is the result of one of my charges," spoke Tsunami as she watched the fleets stare each other down. Then the Juraian fleet began to move, first away then towards Earth. One of the lead drones glitched and fired. That was all the invitation that the Earth fleet needed before the fighters sprang forth to engage the drones, the _Defiant_'s right behind them to engage the few Juraian First and Second Generation capital ships present.

"The battle was joined, high in the sky," spouted Soun, apparently trying his hand at writing poetry in motion.

With the Light Hawk Wings deployed, the capital ships turned out to be a little harder to hit. Only a little, as the battle quickly shifted from a nose to nose encounter to three hundred sixty degrees of combat. Then the weakness in the Wings was discovered as they couldn't effectively cover the full three-sixty bubble. The _Defiant_-class destroyers were too fast for the weapons of the Juraian fleet evading the shots by both the drones and capital ships.

Both sides only had a small fraction of their ships engaged. The Juraian fleet hadn't even made it far enough in to test the weapons of the _Galaxy_'s, _Sovereign_'s, nor the varying sizes of Star Destroyer.

Unknown to all except Ranma, _Prometheus_ and _Colorado_ were hovering about thirty meters over the house, providing cover for those on the ground while cloaked.

As the battle waged, more ships entered the fray. Juraian capital ships started to appear from hyperspace, subspace, partridge in a pear tree. In response, the _Iwo Jima_'s, _Streamrunner_'s, and _Intrepid_'s moved in to engage. Beam weapons flashed back and forth, more often than not splashing off of shields or continuing on into the nothing.

The first ship to die was a _Defiant_ on a suicide mission. It had managed to dive through the Wings to impact the core-saucer of a Second Generation Tree-ship. While the damage had in fact forced the Juraian ship out of action, and quite possibly commission for a few hundred years, it was still intact.

"Use torpedoes," spoke Ranma in his communicator again, "Go as high as quantum, activate ablative armor and shields."

The battle suddenly tipped in their favor, as the torpedoes packed quite the punch. Even the ones the detonated against the Wings caused the ship to vibrate. One detonated against a First Generation core, splintering it before the pull of vacuum ripped in apart from the inside out.

A quick scan of the battlefield showed that Azusa had ran when the torpedoes appeared, however it was unknown if it was to cover his own ass or get more reinforcements.

Then the Galaxy Army ships started to appear, sending out messages to the Earth fleet to cease and desist. That didn't go over well, as when the first shot came from them the fleet moved to attack them as well.

The Galaxy Army relied more on armor than shields, not that it mattered as the phasers ate through the hulls with ease. Regular photon torpedoes would wipe the ships from existence in a standard spread of three.

Then even more Juraian ships appeared, mostly Second and Third Generation. However, the thing that got the most attention was the planet killer in their midst.

"What the hell is this?" demanded Ranma, getting fairly fed up with Azusa breaking out his toys and calling in favors or phony distress signals.

"This is over the top, even for him," commented Tsunami, deciding then and there that Azusa had to go. It would be political in every aspect, right next to legal. Subtle pressure would do the trick to force an election. She noticed that Ranma had switched to speaking to the Captain of the lead _Sovereign_ of the First Fleet.

"Arm one transphasic torpedo, target that planet killer," he ordered, receiving acknowledgements instantly. "Now open a channel to Azusa and pipe it down here."

The holographic panel switched from the battle in progress to the face of Azusa onboard his ship. He had a smirk in place, apparently sure of victory.

"Calling to surrender?" taunted Azusa, earning more than a few scowls on the ground.

"Not on your life, Gramps," retorted Ranma, noticing that the remark hit a sore spot on Azusa. "Just calling to tell you to withdraw that planet killer. You want to fight, fine. I've kept my uber-powerful weapons in check for many years, but I'll make an exception here."

"You have nothing that could harm that weapon," again taunted Azusa, quickly earning centuries on the couch with his wives that were watching this via a feed from Tsunami. Then the channel died, cut from the other end.

"Oh well, I tried," shrugged Ranma, "If that thing even flinches in our direction, fire that transphasic torpedo at it."

"You know I've never been able to figure out how the warhead works, right?" asked Washu, slightly nervous as she had never thought to ask to detonate one to see the results.

"Yes, I know," he answered, slightly relaxing his stance. "Which is why I've never used one. Granted the instructions for the weapon were in the computer system. But that still doesn't give us what effects the weapon will create."

"Target locked," came the voice of the Captain over the communicator. "Juraian planet killer preparing to fire."

There was a pause. The battle paused, the people on the ground paused, before one word was spoken.

"Fire," ordered Ranma, clenching his right fist as he said so.

The torpedo left the port launch tube of the _Sovereign_, traveling around obstacles as it went. All eyes were on the green-tinted engine exhaust as it continued on its way, before impacting on the side of the Juraian Super-weapon.

Nobody dared to breathe as the transphasic warhead went to work, visible as shockwaves of varying colors traveled around the planet killer. Then it exploded, taking out the three Third Generations that were guarding it.

"Holy shit," gasped Washu while glancing at her readout, "That was . . . was . . . holy shit."

"One torpedo did *_that_*?" demanded Seina, having seen the planet killer in action against the Pirates about a year back, in this timeline. It had been the most feared weapon in the galaxy . . .

Now Earth had the most feared weapon, controlled by a small group of humans that were simply defending their home. More to the point, the primitive Earthlings had just announced to the galaxy that they could take on just about any foe and win.

"I want _Ascension_ to break formation and engage Azusa's ship," Ranma spoke, his voice booming due to the silence around him. "Weapons free, let's test our toy against his."

There came a strangled noise from those in the Family, as the people on the ground noticed that one of the red exhaust glows had gotten much brighter as the behemoth _Super_ started to move away from the gravity well.

"Ranma, that's over the top," chided Tenchi, earning nods of agreement from those that had been part of the journey.

"Why?" asked Tokimi, before Seina came forward.

"Because that ship is just about all weapon," answered the youngest cousin. "We performed a retrofit on her about a year ago, upgrading the turbo-lasers to a rapid fire, energy friendly variant. Then we added more of them. Plus the ion cannons, torpedo tubes and missile launchers. That makes-"

"That makes," interrupted Washu, "Ten thousand weapon ports per side. Ten ventral, port, starboard and dorsal. Forty *_thousand_* weapon ports all over the place, bow to stern."

"Wow," commented Lucia, as she was of a generation where guns were at least in use. That, and she had survived the attack of that airship in Russia. "That is a bit of overkill."

"I've had enough of the pompous ass, okay?" stressed Ranma, arms going wild in agitation. "If he fights, that's not my problem. If he runs, I won't chase. I just want some peace and quiet!"

The Juraian Armada had pulled back to defend Azusa's ship, while the Earth fleet parted to make a hole for the monster navy blue ship that was coming from the rear lines.

The Juraians flinched, sending a few of the remaining drones in to test the weapons of the monstrosity in front of them. The Galaxy Army had gone into full retreat when the planet killer was lost.

The _Super_ came to life, laying down a solid sheet of fire obliterating anything that got in the way. Azusa decided to withdraw at that point, saying that he would be back with a larger force.

"What is his problem?" demanded Ranma of Ayeka.

"He's been on the throne for too long," replied the First Princess, before seeing that the natives were cracking up. Ranma was rolling around laughing himself silly. Tenchi and Seina were laughing so hard that they were crying, while everybody else guffawed to their hearts content.

"What's so funny?" asked Hakubi, having missed the joke. Ranma calmed himself just long enough to whisper in her ear, before the former space pirate joined in on the laughter.

"How long has he been there?" asked Nodoka, furthering the set-up.

"He's been on the throne for just over seven thousand years now," helpfully supplied Ayeka, before the entire contingent fell to the ground laughing.

"Poor, poor Azusa," giggled Tsunami, "If I'd known, I would have made it a point to feed him chocolate."

"No wonder he acts like there's a stick up his ass," guffawed Washu. Her comment restarted the laughter, but the hint was enough for Ayeka to finally put it all together causing her to fall to the ground in laughter.

As the night stretched on, they went to bed with a bad constipation joke stuck in their heads . . .

TBC

That's it, the end of the Star Wars Saga. I never did promise anything big, and for that I apologize. It was kinda bland, however the side-story that I have started as a compliment to this fic should fill in the holes.


	33. TGD 13

Disclaimer: Man, I really need to copy and paste my disclaimers. I'm running out of ideas on how to say I own NOTHING. Wait, that works.

Rant: People still jump the gun why? Like I said in the first few chapters, everything will be explained. Besides, this is like a rough draft, Gold is the second draft, and Platinum will be the final product. I am working on a side-story that will fill in the blanks on the emotional aspects, at least in the home universe . . . I hope.

The Goddess Dilemma, part thirteen

By: Jim Ohki

_-(Day Eleven (Home Universe time))-_

Morning came to the Tendo/Saotome residence, finding an active house at seven o'clock sharp. Seina along with his group had retired to the villa on the backside of the moon, Tenchi and his entourage having spent the night back at the Shrine. Washu was gracious enough to make modifications to the house by use of subspace pockets before departing for the night. The master bedroom, living/dining room, furo, and kitchen were altered to house the Saotome branch of the Family. Breakfast went as usual for the Family, just not nearly as crowded with the others having spent the night somewhere else.

"How in the world did you convince us to do this?" snorted Nabiki as the troop made their way towards the school. Instead of following the dress code of Furinkan, they had decided to irritate the staff by dressing alike.

Missing were Kasumi, Taki and Karin as they were either already finished with school or were so far out of the loop that they'd have to start from the beginning.

"Simple," answered Ranma, "All I had to do was ask."

It was not a boast, or any other type of ego inflation but simply stating the truth. Ranma had indeed asked a select few to accompany him back to school, under the pretext of needing bodyguards and spin doctors.

The conversation died at that point, those not familiar with Nerima taking in the sights. The ladle-lady, surprised at her favorite target not reacting to the application of water. The street vendors, trying to make a buck off of the influx of students. The cluster of students at the front gate, watching and waiting to see if the rumors were true.

Wait a minute.

"Unbelievable," deadpanned Ukyo, "We're gone for just over a week, and this starts up again?" With the excitement of settling back into Nerima, those that had gone on the journey had not been filled in on the meeting that Akane had with Kami-sama.

As the group approached, the low hum of the students gossiping back and forth came to a halt. Casually strolling in, Ranma took point in the quickly opening gap in the mass of bodies.

"What?" he asked of the crowd, wondering why they were all looking at him like he'd grown a few extra heads. Daisuke and Hiroshi came forward as the nominated spokespeople but stopped when the small division behind Ranma growled.

The two tried to ask Ranma questions, but were drowned out by the restarted jet engine. The student body wanted answers immediately, thus Nabiki found herself inundated by the horde.

"A little help here!" she shouted at her family, while beginning to employ some of the teachings that Ranma had given her. Nothing like the amount of training he had undergone in his life, but more than enough to be labeled as self defense courses.

Ukyo and Xian imposed themselves to either side of Nabiki, which caused the crowd to become silent yet again. Just as Ranma went to sort out the situation, a few of his other wives showed up.

"Sorry we're late," said a now seventeen year old Urd. "It's been a while since we've had to appear so young."

"Last time I tried this," reminisced Hild, "I wound up having Mara . . . then you, Urd."

"This is a first for me," added in Peorth, "If it weren't for my own wishes to do this, I'd probably be at home or at work."

"We're wasting our time here," said Ranma, rather loudly. "We have so much work to do settling Mars, getting the defense perimeter established, kicking that pompous Azusa's ass . . ."

"You're telling me that was real?" demanded Daisuke, "You telling _us_ that what happened last night wasn't some publicity stunt?"

"I know Airi and Mikami pulled the world leaders together to bring them into the loop," said a shocked Nabiki, her politician side coming to life. "Either they haven't gotten around to telling the public yet, or the public isn't buying into reality."

"So it _was_ real?" wondered Hiroshi, "I saw what happened last night."

"Yeah," confirmed Ranma without ego inflation, "That was very real 'Roshi."

"You were only gone ten days," came from Sayuri, having finally muscled her way through the crowd to get at the group in the middle. "It makes sense that the government hasn't had time to tell us within ten days, beyond that what was happening was harmless to us."

"Harmless to you," despaired Akane, "Very dumb of me. I'm just glad that the last few days are over."

"Let's go," evenly said Ranma before turning to Daisuke, Hiroshi, Sayuri and Yuka, "We'll talk at lunch in private."

As one, Ranma along with his yet to be announced wives made for the front door. The students parted before them again, some trembling and more than a few straight out bowing like an honor guard.

They marched straight into the assistant principal's office to restructure their day. The placement tests were easy enough, stuffing the entire contingent in Nabiki's class. Once everything was settled with the paper wonks, they headed into the classroom . . .

Right into the middle of the student gossip machine going full tilt. But now that the number one spin doctor had returned, things were about to become expensive for the 'normal' student body.

The room became quiet as soon as the door opened, many figuring that the teacher had decided to wander in a few minutes early. Instead they saw the banes of their existence.

First up, the Ice Queen. Even though that title meant nothing to her in private anymore, for the moment appearances had to be kept.

Next in, Ukyo. While a mean Okonomiyaki chef in her own right, her temper at one point matched Akane. She was quickly followed by Shampoo, as the natives called her. A damn good chef like Ukyo, her specialty being Ramen with a temper to match.

Then came in three girls that nobody had ever seen before. All three were knock-outs in their own rights and ways.

Coming in behind them all was Ranma, taking in the scenery as he came through the door. They all marched up to the front, waiting for their teacher to appear to get the show on the road. The students began to notice patterns and small things immediately, like that the six females were staying within a certain range of Ranma. Glints of light finally bothered those not in the know enough to take a hard look at the source. Gasps came from them when they put two and eight together.

The glints were rings, on their left hand ring fingers. Ranma had the biggest ring, which looked like ten compressed into one.

"Finally found you," came the voice of Miss Hinako from the door. "What are you doing in here?"

"With the exception of Nabiki, we took placements tests to be bumped up," answered Ranma, without boasting or ego stroking. "We decided that if we're to sit through this hellhole, we'd do it together."

"Well then, we'll see," she answered, retreating down the hallway.

"This is odd," commented Urd, getting the attention of the room. "What kind of place is this?"

"It almost feels like work," stated Hild. "There's a certain . . . madness to the entire district that reminds me so much of my garden."

"This from the Demon Queen?" remarked Nabiki, "Then there's definitely something wrong here."

The other students were confused by the conversation in front of them. Many were of the mind that not only did Furinkan now have the Ice Queen returned to them, but an additional Demon Queen. Some of the diehard Final Fantasy players in the back started to think this was something straight out of Final Fantasy Seven. One of them worked the courage up to approach the newest additions to their class.

"Excuse me," she said to Urd, "But if she's the 'Demon Queen', and Nabiki is the 'Ice Queen' does that make you one of the other elemental rulers?"

"Does one third of time count?" sweetly responded Urd, batting her eyelashes trying to impress the young one in front of her.

Before the now sputtering student could respond, in strolled Miss Hinako again.

"Thought you could get away from me, Saotome?" she gloated, "Think again. Once the original teacher got wind of your presence in his class, he was more than willing to take over mine so I could be here."

The Saotome family rolled their eyes, those not from Nerima having learned of Hinako through the stories told by Ranma, Nabiki, and Ukyo as they had the most experience with the deranged teacher.

"Not really," responded Ranma after a moment. "If the current bonehead in charge would have believed our tale, we would have our diplomas and be out the door."

"Yeah, right." challenged Hinako, "You think you're so smart, then solve this." She then proceeded to write out an early trigonometry question. Being locked in adult form did have its advantages, such as the capacity to use such questions to knock an unruly student down a peg or three.

"Oh please," countered Ranma after studying the question for a moment. "On our trip I had to learn advanced quantum mechanics and warp theory. You want me to answer this? Fine." Not even pausing to think, Ranma breezed through the question the long way, taking the entire chalkboard up with equations and notes. In the end, the answer was the same.

Miss Hinako looked at the board, the book and back a dozen times before giving her verdict to the students that were on the edge of their seats.

"Correct," she said, "Although, what is this note about Einstein being an idiot?"

"Great mathematician," fielded Urd, "But he couldn't read, write or spell. He stumbled upon his formula by sheer accident."

The entire room gawked at her, surprised that somebody would challenge the thinking of Einstein nearly a century later. Her family just nodded in agreement, saying nothing.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road," declared Hinako, weirded out by the happenings. "Since you're all new to this class, minus Nabiki, please introduce yourselves to the students." Nabiki headed for her desk, surprisingly having been surrounded by caution tape. Shaking her head, she ripped it down then sat down.

Only to have the eight desks around her empty out. Sending a scathing look in the direction of the incredibly gutless, Nabiki made a mental note to up prices by thirty percent for the disrespectful display.

"Pffft, you know who I am," came from Ranma, knowing that it would be unnecessary to give his identity to the other students.

"Same here," chimed in Ukyo and Xian, surprising those that had knowledge of the Chinese Amazon by her language skills.

"Peorth," said the Goddess, before closing her mouth at the expressions of the male populace in the room.

"Urd," chimed in the Norn, looking disgusted at the young boys mentally undressing her.

"Hild," came from the Demon Queen, before frying the boys ogling her. All other activity stopped at that point. "What? Only one male person has earned the right to look at me that way."

Instantly the male populace of the classroom turned an evil eye on Ranma, while the girls turned an evil eye on the boys for ignoring them.

"Any last names?" baited Hinako, hoping to embarrass Ranma like he had done to her.

"Yeah," came in stereo from the front, while one voice in the middle of the room caused the students to whip their heads around.

"Saotome," finished Nabiki, shark smirk at full power as a hint that the information wouldn't be cheap.

_THUD!_

As one the students leapt to their feet, looking at Ranma who was shaking his head side to side while chuckling.

"So much for appearances," he commented with a shrug, "But this changes nothing. We are here to learn, okay? So no stupid questions during class. Got it?"

_THUD!_

That would be Hinako eating some floor, finding that the flavoring was to her liking. Several students began to pray, while several others began screaming about the apocalypse.

"No, this is not Ragnarok," commented Urd, "Or as is known in this corner of reality Twilight of the Gods." Dead silence came as her answer, many students backing far away from her as she was apparently very knowledgeable in the field of the end of all.

Ranma shook his head again, before finding a place to sit. The now announced wives sat around him, leaving the desk behind and the one to his right rear flank empty. The other students settled down, taking their seats as Miss Hinako leafed through the lesson plan given to her by the normal instructor.

Things actually moved at that point, the Saotome family ignoring the whispered questions in favor of getting the last bit of school out of the way. With the Junior year being almost half way over, it meant only the Senior year was left. Then freedom from the boredom of listening to the same thing year after year.

Lunch was approaching the now monotonous day, things having settled into a routine. As the classes rotated, the word of the changes spread. But since Ranma himself had declared that no questions would be answered until lunch, or after school depending on their mood, nobody dared to ask them anything.

When the lunch bell rang, the entire class was surprised by the Saotome family leaping out of the fourth floor window to make a two point landing on the turf below with no effort.

Hiroshi, Daisuke, Sayuri, Yuka and Akane came out of the doors first, followed by the students that had seen the plummet from above. The five were quickly corralled, surrounded by Ranma and his entourage holding the others back.

"This meeting doesn't concern you," barked Nabiki at a couple of amorous students that had tried to break the line. She noticed that Ranma had palmed a communicator when nobody was looking, speaking quick instructions into it.

The schoolyard went silent when a ship decloaked directly overhead, hovering at two hundred meters. Those on the ground could read the lettering _Prometheus_ on the underside of the saucer, as well as on the sides of the nacelles.

When the ship disappeared, the students looked back to where Ranma and the others had been, only to find nobody there . . .

_-(Mars Orbit)-_

"I said we'd speak in private," commented Ranma in the small conference room, "This is pretty private to me."

The wives had disbursed, heading for several different destinations on the red planet. Ranma had led the five guests to the conference room while giving a nickel and dime tour.

The view out of the aft windows was spectacular to Hiroshi, Daisuke, Sayuri, Yuka and Akane. They could faintly see Earth, the moon, as well as the massive shipyard that now took up a small chunk of real estate.

Then there were the ships moving about, doing their assigned tasks. Spacewalkers could be seen finishing an orbital mining platform for Mars, while several others were busy building or moving defense turrets.

"Wow," said all five in complete awe of the massive undertaking that they could see.

While they were busy gawking at the sights beyond the windows, Ranma had set up several holographic displays. One was his branch of the family tree, another showed a timeline of events from their perspective, one had ship registries and the last had population demographics, broken down by age group, generation, and the like.

As they turned from the windows to speak with Ranma, the alert klaxons sounded.

"Of all the stupid . . ." deadpanned Ranma, making tracks for the bridge with the others in hot pursuit. "Report," he barked as soon as he strolled through the door.

"Distress call from the Second Fleet, Admiral," spoke up the Commander at tactical. "Juraian Capital ships and frigates reverted from hyperspace right on top of them."

"Visual?" asked Ranma, ignoring the surprised looks of those from Earth at the rank and file.

The screen switched from a view of Mars and the space beyond to a battle in progress on the galactic plane thirty degrees right of Earth in the orbital track of Pluto. The Second Fleet ships were easy enough to recognize, but it was the Juraian ships that threw them for a loop.

"Not willing to sacrifice the treeships, are you Azusa?" Ranma asked the screen, not expecting an answer. "Get the _Victory-Two_-class frigates moving, have the Fourth Fleet move in to assist. Set a course and engage at warp six."

The five that had been brought up from the surface were surprised when the viewer switched back to what was in front of the ship. The planet pulled away, then the stars stretched and elongated signifying faster than light travel.

"Ranma, what's going on?" asked a nervous Akane. This was unfamiliar turf to her and the other four that were too stupefied to say anything.

"Standard surprise attack," he casually answered. "You've been around me enough to know that people attack something related to me out of the blue."

The five from Earth nodded in agreement, finding no fault in the logic. Having been moving at a light factor of six, the journey was quick. Before they could speak up, the stars returned to their normal look as weapons fire became visible.

"Multi Vector Assault mode, arm quantum torpedoes, bring ablative armor and shields online," Ranma ordered as _Prometheus_ charged into the firefight. "Weapons free, target anything that fires at us."

They didn't have to wait long in the target rich environment. The drones, the closest thing to a fighter in the Juraian Navy, opened fire as more ships appeared from quick warp and hyperspace jumps. The _Venture_-class fighters moved to engage the drones while the _Victory-Two_ frigates took on their counterparts. Their appearance did cause the Juraian ships to hesitate for a moment, as the frigate looked like a smaller Star Destroyer with wings.

"Have _Ascension_ and _Demolition_ warm their power plants," Ranma continued, "Then get one of the Interdictors out here."

In the three ship formation, _Prometheus_ zigzagged through the Juraian ships, raining weapons fire on the shields. The enemy returned fire, more often than not sending their energy into the void as they were moving extremely fast.

One of the _Sovereign_'s from the Second Fleet met a fiery death as her warp core overloaded, sending pieces of superheated hull in all directions. The port nacelle became a missile, catching one of the Juraian Dreadnoughts in the middle of a shield cycle. The bridge was wiped out in an instant, the rest of the ship following soon after sending even more debris scattering throughout space.

The five from Earth were cowering in terror as another station exploded, sending sparks flying across the bridge. On the viewscreen, they could see a dying V2 frigate take a dive into one of the mobile Juraian Artillery Platforms, wiping them both from existence.

More ships appeared for both sides, the Fourth Fleet having entered the fray from its' scouting and securement mission on the far side of the system. The Seventh Battle Group came in aid of their brethren, nine Dreadnoughts with ten corvettes and seven frigates.

"Message from Earth," barked tactical, shouting over the din of weapons fire, "They are under attack and require assistance."

"This is a diversion!" exclaimed Ranma, irritated that he hadn't caught on sooner. "Issue the order: Total Recall of all ships to Earth!"

The battle on the viewscreen vanished as the ship swung around after reforming and entering warp at the maximum safe speed in a solar system, moving towards Earth at warp seven point five. Earth appeared very quickly, as the stars reverted to the standard spheres of light instead of florescent tubes.

There were a hundred Juraian capital ships, half in blockade formation over Earth the other half over Mars. Nearly a thousand drones held station, awaiting the order to attack. The drones were backed by seventy frigates. As a whole, the frigate and higher ships looked like a variant of the Mon Calamari capital ships from the last universe visited.

What caught the attention of Ranma were several dozen flights of what could only be a bomber. There were five bombers to a flight with ten drone escorts. The bomber resembled a tank built for space, the primary gun being the launch tube for the high yield explosives.

"Break the line!" ordered Ranma, dividing his attention. "Drive them away from Mars then get the Family onboard. After that, move on the Earth line."

"We're too late!" shouted the Lieutenant at the helm. "Bombers on strafing runs of both planets!"

"Goddamnit!" roared Ranma, "Kill them all!" All activity paused for just a moment, before the orders were transmitted to the rest of the fleet. While the Juraians were outnumbered and outgunned, they pressed their attack. The capital ships ran interference with their counterparts, while the frigates would trade fire with any target in the area.

Akane dared to glance at the screen, which earned the entire bridge the reward of her scream. Ranma whipped his head around to look at her, then followed her line of sight to see what had spooked her so.

His blood ran cold at what he saw. Many of the major Metroplex areas across all of Earth were in ruins, the bombers zipping past unleashing their payloads at anything that wasn't already destroyed or on fire.

"Did we get them? Tell me we got them!" Ranma panicked now, fearing the loss of more of his family.

"All Family members present and accounted for," reported the Second Lieutenant on tactical after consulting the board for a moment.

"You just got a promotion," answered a relieved Ranma. "Get them on the line, we need a strategy for our counterattack."

It didn't take long to get the Family on an audio only line, saving the viewscreen for the battle. As they had their conference, more ships reverted from hyperspace.

"Jesus Christ," deadpanned Seina, "Azusa is off of his rocker to get the Pirate Guilds involved in this."

"The _Super_'s are ready to go," came from Kasumi, as she was stationed on one as her personal flagship. Even though the ship was named _Ascension_, she renamed in on the spot to _Kimiko_.

"Bring the transphasic torpedoes online," stated Nabiki onboard _Colorado_, "These bastards are being too persistent for my tastes."

"Concur," said Tenchi from _Tsunami_, however the ship was cloaked for the moment. "My great-grandpa he may be, but this is over the top."

"Admirals," interrupted tactical for _Prometheus_, "Look." The viewers, holographic displays, or whatever the ship used to see what was going on at a distance displayed a shot of Nerima from five miles up . . .

As it burned.

"Momma?" questioned Ranma to nobody in particular. The bridges of _Prometheus_, _Colorado_, the recently dubbed _Kimiko_, _Tsunami_, as well as nineteen other ships involved in the conference learned the true meaning of fear that day.

"Ranma?" Karin dared to speak from her Star Destroyer _Wild Child_, ending the silence after the last word spoken by her husband. It wasn't declarations of revenge, shows of force, or other such things that instilled fear into so many.

It was the dead silence. Many thought the communications line had a glitch in it when a static noise started to emit from the speakers. As the equipment checked out, the sound grew in pitch until it became a growl.

"Target the enemy flagship," ground out Ranma, "Blow her out of space!"

The entire exchange from when the Family was confirmed safe until the latest order took two minutes to accomplish. The 'Rage', as it came to be known, spread quickly throughout the fleet.

The starboard torpedo tube spat out one transphasic torpedo, which instantly began to home in on its' target. The Juraian ships began evasive maneuvers, hoping to avoid the deadly weapon that was now in motion. The ship that was targeted was one of the larger ones present, dwarfing even some of the other capital ships. Its' size turned out to be its' undoing in the gravity well, as the ship was slow to respond to the commands to move.

The torpedo impacted on the starboard quarter, just above an engine exhaust port. The effect was immediate, a sight they had seen the previous time the weapon was used. However, it opened the floodgates when the enemy flagship was annihilated, the box that the Family ships had formed letting loose one transphasic torpedo per target. The space force of the Juraian Navy vanished in fiery death, before the Pirate ships suffered the same fate. The bombers and drones in the atmospheres of the two planets were handled by the fighter squadrons.

The damage had already been done, however. As soon as the last attacking ship blew apart from weapons fire, a distress call went out to the galaxy at large. It didn't take long for the Galaxy Police and Army to arrive on scene, taking in official casualty counts, property damage, and securing a perimeter so that the Earthlings could sort through the mess without more distractions.

A surprise came in the form of the Renza Navy, immediately offering assistance from their 'Genie Lamp' ships. They also carried word from Renza itself, the much vaunted homeworld of their Union. They were an olive branch to the Earth Forces, along with the declaration of war against the Juraian Empire.

"Guys, check this out," spoke an awed Washu to the Family, all of them having beamed to the Nerima ruins in hopes of finding survivors. The Mars colony had several decoy buildings on the surface while the majority of the populace was underground, so casualties were light on the red planet. She had been alerted by her computer of breaking news on the Galactic Network, their version of the HoloNet.

"Azusa bit off more than he could chew," commented Tenchi, already having found his father and grandfather in the remains of the shrine. It had been a quick burial for the pair, next to his mother Achika. While the shrine had been lost, the tree Funaho had survived by use of her shields. The First Generation tree was screaming at Tsunami for vengeance. "Look at that, even in this live broadcast more systems are withdrawing support of the Empire."

"It's more than that," said Ayeka, making it clear to the others were she stood on the matter. "They are _completely_ withdrawing from the Empire. It has been several millennia since the last mass exodus, which if I remember my history was caused by nearly the same thing. I just hope Mother and Aunt Funaho made it off of Jurai, a show of defiance to the Emperor." She had even stopped referring to Azusa as her father, Ayeka was so mad at him.

"Can you tap in?" asked Kiriko, keeping a running count of the happenings. So far, seventy-eight systems in the Empire territory had withdrawn, many banding together to cobble what defenses they could.

"Hey, dad!" Hairbrush yelled from off to the side, his mannerisms speaking plain as day to the rest of the Family. While they made like they were looking through the rubble, all eyes were on Ranma as he made his way over to his second oldest son.

"I am already in," whispered Washu to those around her, earning their attention as Ranma froze. "Mindful of words, you be. Live across the galaxy, this is."

"Can the Yoda-speak," barked her daughter Ryoko. "Only he could pull it off."

"Seek shelter!" roared Junior as he came running passed the group, his brothers and sisters in hot pursuit. All eyes turned back to Ranma, only to see him kneeling on the ground holding Nodoka. They could see his mouth moving, but couldn't hear what he was saying. Looking real close, they could see Nodoka respond, cough, wince in pain, then continue.

As his wives and children watched from a distance, they knew the moment when Nodoka passed on to the other side. Her body went limp in his arms, her death very similar to the one that started the creation of a certain Dark Lord.

"We still broadcasting?" whispered Ayeka, mindful to at least attempt to keep her emotions in check.

"Yeah," answered Washu, only to have Ranma appear in her face.

"Camera?" he demanded, to which she pointed at the device camouflaged to look like a broken television. Walking right up to it, stopping about three feet away so as not to go into the extreme close up, Ranma spoke. "The Juraian Empire is _DEAD_! You want a slaughter Azusa, well you'll get one the likes of which will make Ryoko's visit seven hundred plus years ago look like a walk in the park! And mark my words, I _**will**_ kill you with my own hands!"

While Ranma was ranting to the galaxy at large, Junior had returned from his hiding spot to speak to Kasumi and Nabiki in private. He had been in the search sector next to the one they had found Nodoka in, and had found Soun.

The cries of the elder sisters Tendo caught Ranma's attention, which after a moment seemed to amplify his rage. Storming off in a random direction, the others let him go as the aura he was emitting was melting the remains of the buildings and streets as he moved.

"Fire up the shipyards," Karin spoke into a communicator, taking an action that she hoped would be approved of later. "Just start cranking ships out, we're going to need them." With that out of the way, she joined in the family hug.

_-(Day Twelve)-_

Nobody in the Family had slept one wink the night before, many finding solace in the company of others while a few found it in being alone. Ranma had disappeared early last night, his position marked by the path of slag.

Survivors were indeed found, which helped those that had lost loved ones focus. Karin was saddened at the death of Lucia, but at the same time she was proud as the Italian fortuneteller had prevented the loss of a five year old that had been running scared through the streets.

Taki, Xianghua, and Cassandra were the only three remaining from their original party. The others looked like they had went trying to shore up a wall from collapse, that would have wiped out a class of elementary students that had sought shelter in the Dojo. Having lost Soul Edge had ended Nightmare's immortality.

"We have a problem," spoke Belldandy as she reappeared from Yggdrasil Control. "This attack was apparently one of the glitches we warned you about. We can't find . . ."

"WHAT!" shouted the Family. "You mean they're forever gone?"

"We're still looking, they _have_ to be somewhere," assured Bell, before glancing around. "Where's Ranma?" Her question was answered immediately as her senses picked up on the massive source of anger that was approaching. The others felt it too, steeling themselves to tell him about the problem.

"Damn it all to hell and back," he ranted, not even giving the others an opening to tell him more bad news. His eyes lit up the moment they came to Bell, which triggered a memory in his mind. Pulling his communicator out, Ranma spoke into it before putting it back in his hidey-hole.

Akane, Sayuri, Yuka, Hiroshi and Daisuke appeared in a transporter beam not a minute later, the five looking around in pure shock at the level of devastation.

"Ranma," called Belldandy as the five additions to the ground party spread out. "There is a problem . . ."

"Don't tell me, let me guess," he quipped, "Due to our return home, the glitches caused in Yggdrasil made it so that the dead vanished from the system."

"How did . . .?" started to question Urd, surprised at his guess.

"I spent most of the night crying into her shoulder," Ranma explained, "Her soul is stuck in limbo here, along with twenty million others. To not spook the populace, they've all gathered in uninhabited areas."

"No wonder you took the news so well," concluded Bell, "You already knew."

The communicators came to life at that point, all twenty-four original members of the Family being called at once.

"Two Juraian treeships have reverted from hyperspace," came from a Fleet Admiral. "Orders?"

"Hail them," said Seina, having a fairly good idea who the two were.

"They are requesting asylum," said the Admiral a few seconds later. "Funaho and Misaki, formerly of the Juraian Empire are requesting permission to disembark at your location."

"Let them in," stated Tenchi, "They're allowed to come and go as they please, do not harass them at any time."

"Understood," was the reply before the channel was closed.

As soon as the two ships appeared in the atmosphere, many of the survivors that were wandering in a daze found a target to vent on. Debris from the old way of life were launched into the air, most missing the target while the rest skipped off of the hulls. They were quickly handled by Ranma, making a point to disable the throwing arm while explaining that the two were defecting.

Once on the ground, Misaki and Funaho were ushered into a command post that had been set up.

"Great-grandma," bowed Tenchi formally, "The Emperor has succeeded in his quest to keep the throne. Yosho, known here as Katsuhito, is dead."

Funaho was known for many things, one of them keeping her emotions in check. However, the news of her only son being killed by an attack ordered by her child's father was too much for her. She collapsed in a Misaki-esqe display, simultaneously bawling her eyes out while cursing Azusa to a most painful death.

"The final numbers are in thanks in part to the ships in orbit," softly said Seina, being the ranking GP Officer on the ground at the moment. "Twenty million, four hundred thousand, eight hundred four dead. One hundred million hurt. Two billion homeless. The governments of ninety countries have totally collapsed, creating anarchy across the globe. Many are coming under our banner, while others are blaming us for bringing this disaster to Earth."

"The GP will find that Azusa has sealed the border," said Misaki, barely keeping her emotions in check. "He is only allowing the warships to cross the checkpoints to reinforce the three fronts that have appeared." A window opened, showing the Juraian Empire borders as they had recently been redrawn. The Renza Union border, on the left, was an angry red color, same with the border rimward or bottom of the map, to the Sol System. The coreward border, a race that not many were familiar with, was simply yellow, indicating a higher alert status. Fleet movements could be seen, insofar as the treeships that were acting as spies within the Juraian war machine. "Many loyalists are sticking by his side, however just as many new age thinkers are secretly working for us."

"This is one giant cluster fuck of a mess," dryly stated Nabiki, being one of the few to reign in her emotions. Ranma had noticed that she had started down the path of the Ice Queen again, but for the moment was letting it go as there were bigger fish to fry.

"Mayday! _Squelch_ -day! _KKKRRR_ -der attack! _Squelch_ -bushed by Juraian ground forces!" came from a nearby two way radio, causing many to groan at the persistence of their attackers.

"Where the hell did they come from?" demanded Ayeka, fed up with the entire situation. She could tell that the others wanted a break as much as she did.

_WOOSH!_

"RANMA!" shouted his family at the warrior's quickly retreating back. Deciding to follow him, the others made haste to catch up to him. They headed straight for the sounds of a firefight between marines. The battleground was already a mess, bodies recently added to it creating a scene of pure havoc. The ground defenses were mostly JSSDF and UN troops that had been on a search and rescue/recovery mission. The Juraian forces had the advanced weaponry, busting the SARR and sending the civilians that had been helping scrambling for cover.

Many of the dead were the workers, caught unawares when the shooting started. There were troops from both sides laying about, stripped of ammunition and supplies as the battle moved forward and backward. The perpetual tug-o-war was not over a key piece of land or structure, it had simply been where the attackers landed and where the defenders drew the line.

As the Saotome family moved through the once-city-now-field of death, the injuries leading to the final rest changed from shrapnel and bullet wounds to sword slashes. The further they went, the less civilian/allied bodies were encountered while the number of enemy soldiers' dead increased.

"Jesus . . ." gasped Akane, having followed her sisters when they took off.

"He's not even attempting to injure them," said an equally awed Sayuri, "The wounds are one hit kills."

"He's lost his mind!" despaired Hiroshi, "Look at this one. The sword he used simply severed the head from the rest of the body."

"Yes," whispered Yuka, barely holding her lunch down. "But the thing of it is, where is the blood?"

That even got the Family to pause and take a real good look at the death around them.

"Sure is clean for a massacre," commented Taki, the events tickling a memory in her mind. "Oh no . . ."

"This is the work of Soul Edge," stated Cassandra, "Looks like the Calibur half of the blade is sanitizing as he goes. The last time I saw something like this is was . . . messier."

"No kidding," chimed in Xianghua. "Edge I can understand as the soul drinker, but Calibur as a blood drinker is a bit over my head."

Off to the right more gunfire erupted as the Family found themselves surrounded by friendly ground forces that thought they were just ordinary civilians.

"What the hell are you doing just standing around in the open like this?" demanded a Rambo look-a-like. The ground pounder was dirty, carrying many weapons, in very good shape, wearing camo paint while his clothes were black utility pants with a black muscle shirt.

"Oh, do bugger off," Hild managed to sound sweet in the statement, also managing to make it so that there was no room for argument. As if to prove her point several Juraian ground troops came around the corner, opening fire with something akin to a blaster rifle. The JSSDF troops in the area were surprised to see the weapons of the enemy have no effect as a shield sprang up.

Before the Family could move to deal with their attackers a shadow seemed to fall upon them right before Ranma came down from a leap some distance away. The enemy marines panicked, turning all of their available firepower onto the one that had wiped out three legions in the span of five minutes.

"GRENADE!" roared the Rambo wannabe, making to smother somebody as a hero is wont to do and finding that there was nobody there to smother.

Then there was silence. Those that had followed Ranma barely even dared to breathe at the carnage before them. The enemy troops had been eliminated, each with a permanent look of abject terror locked on their faces. The combined blade Excalibur partially split, revealing the true forms underneath. Stabbing the air above his head with the weapon, Ranma watched at the Edge portion began to extract souls from the enemy bodies while Calibur acted to balance out the remains of the chaos all around him. While the holy blade wasn't a total vampire, it did need sustenance to maintain existence so it did feed with Edge. Not a gorging like the demonic weapon, just enough to recharge while sending the rest to a storage pocket.

"Ranma," spoke an awed, and in great fear, Akane, "did you really have to end it like that?"

"Yes," he tersely answered while attaching his sword to the magnetic scabbard on his back. "We have much work to do, let's go." Ranma turned back in the direction of the command post, catching movement out of the corner of his eye. Opening his mouth to issue the warning, he never got the chance as Karin kicked a machine gun off of the ground into her waiting hands, firing it in the blink of an eye ala the Matrix. This set the others into motion, whipping firearms from the fallen back into action.

"Move, move, move!" barked Ranma, having acquired a blaster rifle and ammunition off of the closest three Juraian marine bodies. With a flick of the wrist he had inserted the new power cell, locked, loaded and was sending a spray of energy at the enemy. The Saotome family began to fight their way back towards friendly lines, occasionally getting the opportunity to make mad dashes for safety before being bogged down in a crossfire.

It was a weird situation for Akane, watching her docile and known to be mercenary sisters firing weapons like trained professionals. Nabiki had acquired a bandoleer of grenades from somewhere, and as the youngest Tendo watched she raised one up to her mouth, pulled and spat out the pin then lobbed it behind a barricade while handling her assault rifle. Looking back towards her right, Akane saw Ukyo pick up a rocket launcher that had been dropped by the previous user when they had died, taking aim at the far barricade.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!" shouted the one time chef, seconds before pulling the trigger. The rocket zipped across the battle, impacting and detonating on the barricade clearing out the Juraian marines behind it.

Akane looked back to her left to see Xian lob what looked like a demolitions pack at the near obstacle, before ducking back down and pressing the remote detonation switch. The enemy troops behind that barricade were finished off in the blast, opening a hole in the line.

"BREAK!" roared Ranma, leaping over the edge of their foxhole to draw any remaining fire to him. The few remaining enemy troops were in full retreat, not even bothering to lay down cover fire.

"We're outta here!" exclaimed Karin, helping Kasumi out of the hidey-hole. Moving at a more leisurely pace, the Saotome family kept their guards up just in case the Juraian ground pounders decided to mount a counterattack.

They reached the command post with no further incident, the other members of the Family running out to greet them.

"What the hell happened to you?" demanded Tenchi of anybody willing to answer. "You left with no weapons, and come back with a small arsenal."

"And I detect the subtle undertones of cooked gunpowder," chimed in the older Ryoko while crinkling her nose.

"Uh, Ranma . . ." carefully started Urd, taking note that somebody was being exceptionally quiet. Once he looked in her direction did he comprehend the situation as Hild was leaning on her for support while clutching her left side.

"MEDIC!" roared Mara, surprising the others with her appearance. She had quickly procured a field medic kit from nowhere, getting to work immediately. "Shrapnel wound. The system must really be out of whack to allow her to be damaged in such a way. She'll survive this, it's mostly surface damage however I am not a certified doctor."

Ranma, not wanting to eat his foot today, stayed silent while his other wives gathered around to offer support if he should need it.

"How did they get planet-side?" demanded Ayeka, turning her attention to Mihoshi and Seina, the only two available GP officers.

"Wow," babbled Mihoshi, "Who would have thought that the Juraian Empire would resort to theft of a Galaxy Army troop transport? Those ships are not cheap to build and Azusa is going to have to pay for the one he took."

While she was talking, the medics arrived to cart Hild away to the hospital that had been set up in an old nuclear fallout shelter. Ranma and the others decided to stay at the command post, looking over the latest fleet movements of the enemy as they would more than likely end up in the way.

"We've driven the unwelcome elements out of the system," reported Funaho, having lent her services to the Family as an Informational Specialist. The map was zoomed in on the Sol system, showing nothing but green icons for allied/friendly ships and white for the neutral GP and GA. "These scans include the subspace spectrum courtesy of Washu, just in case any treeships decide to enter the system that way."

"Good," said a distracted Ranma, his mind elsewhere before turning to Tenchi and Seina. "Establish the security perimeter. We will begin the hunt later, right now I have somewhere else to be." With that, he left the command post to head for the hospital area. He wasn't too worried about Hild, as the medics had confirmed the mostly surface shrapnel wound before carting her off. But now that business was handled, it was personal time. He didn't even have to glance around to know that he wasn't alone during his trek.

"When did things get so out of control?" wondered Ranma to nobody in particular.

"Probably when we started dimension hopping," answered Nabiki. "If not there, then when we spent thirty-six years stuck in a place that wasn't truly home."

"Why did Azusa have to be so insensitive?" asked Kasumi, not really expecting an answer. "Why in the world is he so power hungry?"

"We'll save that talk for later," chimed in Peorth. "We seriously need us time; to put the galaxy at large on hold."

Ukyo laughed at that, which made the others pause for just a moment. When she caught the inquisitive looks directed her way, she elaborated. "Please continue to hold, a representative will be with you shortly." She said it in a drab, nasal monotone then hummed some corny elevator music.

"That settles it," declared Ranma while trying to keep the smile off of his face, "Ukyo, no more calling for the supplies whenever something goes wrong . . . you've got the voice down too well."

As the group strolled in the door to the hospital complex, their moods changed. The children had beaten them there, word having reached the bunkers on Mars about Hild. The youngest ones immediately fought free of their older brothers and sisters to run into the waiting arms of either parent.

"Oh yes, us time is in order," commented Nabiki, watching the goings on around her.

_-(Day thirteen)-_

The Saotome branch of the Family had crashed in the hospital room that Hild had been placed in. Being that they had been going for nearly two days straight, it was understandable. During the treatment of the Demon Queen, her allergy was found on accident by the nurses as they administered the drugs.

Hild on Vicadin equals one hyperactive in more than one sense Lord of Demons. First came the bouncing off of the walls, then came wanting to breed like rabbits to both at the same time.

Good thing for Ranma that the kids were present, or he'd be even more worn out at the moment. Glancing at the ever present clock, he noted that it was already ten in the morning. Taking stock of the room, he became aware of the others still sleeping and attempted to join them in the land of slumber. However, the call of nature wouldn't be denied, so Ranma had to carefully step and pick his way to the bathroom.

Such was the force of draining the bladder, the noise of a loud waterfall woke the others and created the same urge to purge. Instead of fighting for the only toilet in the room, the family wisely scattered in search of others. When they returned, all eyes fell on Ranma as he stretched in the beginnings of an indoor slow kata causing his spine to pop loudly.

"Sleep good," he offhandedly remarked, now working on his legs. "I do feel better now."

"Time for food," grumbled Urd, picking up the phone and dialing the cafeteria to place the family's order. While she did so, the others minus Ranma and Hild began to filter up to _Prometheus_ to freshen up before returning to the underground hospital.

"How you feeling, mom?" asked Chibi-Mara of the now awake Hild.

"Gimmie drugs!" she moaned out, "Need drugs, pain . . ."

"Yeah, right," commented Urd as she leaned over her to poke at the wound area. When there was no reaction from Hild, Urd knew that she was calling for Vicadin simply because she was feeling frisky. "You know better than that, Mom. Ranma is afraid to break us as it is, you think he's gonna do that with you being hurt?"

"D'oh," drawled out Hild, dropping the in pain act to sit up as breakfast arrived. Not the greatest food in the universes, but as they didn't want preferential treatment due to who they were it would do for now.

The family ate in silence. Well, as in silence as they could get with Ranma doing his Hoover vacuum impersonation again.

"What's the rush?" asked Junior, having learned over the years that whenever his father ate like food was just declared illegal that something was about to happen.

"Yeah, you trying to ditch me?" joked Hild, noting that it had no effect on the eating machine. That set off alarms in the minds of the others, minus the younger children, as whenever Ranma would be joking around while eating a remark like that would get him to pause and sputter through a lame comeback. The seriousness of the situation became apparent when Ranma set his bowl and chopsticks down, then got up without asking for more.

"All right, you have our attention," deadpanned Nabiki, "So would you please tell us what is going through that mind of yours?"

No answer was forthcoming, making the others abandon their food to give chase. Ranma was out on a mid-level underground veranda, fishing around in his stuff space pocket for something.

"Ranma?" tried a worried Peorth, taking note that he did indeed pause in his search to turn and look at them.

"OWA-OWA-OWA-OWA," came from his mouth in rapid fire mode, followed by, "JADDA-DA-AH-DA-AH!"

"It's official, he's lost it," quipped Taki, shaking her head at the absurd noises coming from Ranma's mouth. There was no reply to her remark as the others watched Ranma do a good impersonation of a stressed out transit driver. Getting fed up with digging around and not being able to see what was in his grasp before pulling it out, he drew a door in mid air. As soon as it appeared, Ranma stepped inside then started throwing objects out.

"Maybe he actually has lost it," stated Kasumi in full oblivious mode, "He sure is trying hard to find it."

Several large objects lay about with numerous smaller ones. As the family watched, stuff that they didn't even know about came out the door. Nabiki started to do an inventory, to see if there was anything of high value.

"Let's see," she said, carefully picking her way through the flying object field. Ranma Junior was on her heels, having partially followed in his mother's footsteps.

They came across a wide variety of . . . well, shit. On her left was a ship anchor, laying next to an industrial sized blender. On her right was a partially assembled Six-Vee Ninety-Two Detroit Diesel engine, complete with twin turbo chargers. Junior made an offhand remark about the engine, as it tipped the scales at six thousand pounds. Next to the engine was a rubber ducky, kitty, Godzilla, and of all things a horse. Looking behind the engine, Nabiki could see even more weird stuff, like Ranma's toolbox.

Hey, everybody has to have a hobby . . .

"OWA-OWA-OWA-OWA-OWA!" barked Ranma, leaping about the now great pile of stuff. He appeared to be highly agitated, having emptied his personal stuff space out onto the veranda. Pausing in the rant to say "Oh, there it is," he started to head back inside.

"Aren't you going to pick this stuff up?" wondered Urd, trying for the life of her to figure some of the gadgets out and thinking that Skuld would love to have a chat with her husband.

"Yeah, in just a moment," answered a suddenly sane Ranma, who had turned around to fiddle with the engine. "Yeah, more power," he mumbled, opening his toolbox up to reveal another stuff space pocket. Hairbrush and Penelope were by his side in an instant, now sporting coveralls that had grease and oil stains everywhere.

"Ugh," gagged Ukyo and Kenji, mother and son both despising being dirty. "Must you track grease everywhere?"

"Yes," answered Karin, up to her elbows in the intake manifold. She had taken to tinkering with the monstrous engine like a fish to water. "Besides, this hobby is great. It gives us all bonding time . . . Ranma, the number three intake valve is bent."

"How much for a new one, Nabiki?" he immediately asked, leaning over the five hundred fifty-two cubic inch engine to have a look. Now knowing that the intake valve was damaged, Ranma started to check the crank/camshaft timing. "No wonder the damned thing had a misfire."

The mother and son duo of Nabiki and Junior had broken out the parts catalogue, leafing through the pages to find the requested price check.

Kasumi with her eye for detail, placed a hand on Ranma's shoulder. While she refused to touch the engine, much like Ukyo and Kenji, she did observe what was going on.

"Look at this," she said, pointing at the counter-timing gear. Ranma had to do a double take, before launching a few swear words out of his mouth.

"While you're at it," he had turned to Nabiki, "We need a complete timing gear set. The counter-gear is damaged."

"Now that's gonna cost us," commented Junior, "But dad, why don't we just replicate the parts?"

"Better warranty," Ranma joked, before giving the true answer. "Because we are doing this the old fashioned way, with blood, sweat, tears, ingested oil and the like. That, and you know that we may have to modify parts to get this thing up and running in a quick order."

"Yeah, but that Cummins you passed up would have been easier to deal with," quipped Hild from the doorway, surprising the others with her appearance. "Don't worry, the system glitch pertaining to me being hurt has been fixed. Still sore, but I'm good to go."

"What is going on here?" questioned Tenchi, making his appearance right at lunch time. "Ah geez, no that piece of junk Detroit again. I warned you about it when you picked it up off of the dealer."

"Hey, it's a good form of bonding while keeping our talents sharp," countered Nabiki, hefting the catalogue to aide her point. "Kasumi can spot a small chip in a sprocket from a dozen yards. Xian uses her hearing to detect even the smallest misfire or other such noise."

"We're ready to move out," came the voice of Seina just before walking through the door to the underground veranda. "Oh, cool. Where'd you find this at?"

"Not you too," groaned Tenchi, before shaking his head. "Never mind, we have to get ready."

"Ah, time to go to war eh?" questioned Ranma, already sporting grease smudges on his arms and a small one on his face. He took a look at the stuff from his personal storage pocket, and used it as an excuse to imitate a bulldozer to stuff it back to where he got them. "We'll get cleaned up and be with you shortly."

_-(Earth Orbit, one hour later)-_

"All right, check in time," declared Ranma from _Prometheus_. The children had been 'coerced' into staying behind, while the wives had scattered to their ships.

"Hi," sweetly said Kasumi from _Kimiko_. Noticing the look directed her way, she quickly added, "We're green."

"Locked and loaded," stated Nabiki from _Colorado_, not daring to launch into bantering yet.

"Golden," deadpanned Ukyo, still trying to get used to command onboard her Defiant-class ship dubbed _Ranchan_.

"Vengeance is ours," growled Xian from her comfy chair on her Sovereign-class _Amazon_.

"Here we go again," dryly stated Urd from her Imperial-class Star Destroyer _Will of the Kami_.

"Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!" bellowed Hild, itching to dish out some serious hurt from her Victory-Two-class frigate _Gates of Hell_.

"Green on the board," was the first totally professional militaristic answer from Karin on her Victory-class Star Destroyer _Wild Child_.

"Let's just get this over with," drawled Taki from her Galaxy-class _Dark Ninja_.

"Fan out, you have the coordinates," said Ranma, having received confirmations of green status from _Tsunami_ and _Tsunamis' Sister_, the only two ships the cousins could dig up.

The slow moving capital ships took up the rear flank as the faster destroyers, frigates, cruisers and fighters took up flight formation on point. The First through Tenth Fleets were going on the trek, while the Eleventh through Twentieth were to remain in the Sol system on patrols. There was a secondary order to stand ready to move out to assist the primary forces.

Ranma had been tapping at the communications console mounted on his right arm rest, opening a channel to the fleet very quietly. It came as a surprise to many when Guns'n'Roses 'Welcome to the Jungle' blared on the speakers as the ships leapt to their differing forms of FTL.

Shinji and Rei, both having elected to remain behind, couldn't help but wonder on what they were missing out on. Not that it mattered, as they were commissioned into service as mobile artillery with their Evas.

_-(Todain System, Galactic Academy three hours later)-_

The Juraian fleet occupying the Todain system was expecting the attack. They knew without a shadow of a doubt that the shortest path from Earth to Jurai went through the Galactic Academy first. However, as the response from the newfound Earth Forces hadn't come in the last two days, the crews started to get arrogant. They were cheering at the perceived cowardice of the Humans, getting lax in their duties.

They paid dearly for it when the battle began, as the faster ships dropped out of their faster than light medium, using the momentum to charge into the ranks and wreak havoc.

"I'm taking you down, plastic boy!" taunted Ranma as _Prometheus_ zigged and zagged through the enemy ships.

"That's right, use your anger," encouraged Hild from her frigate as her tactical officer killed another ship.

"Whoa! Did anybody else see that?" asked a surprised Nabiki, having blown a half dozen ships out of space with one shot of the phasers, a one of a kind hit to be certain.

The battle raged for twenty minutes, the Juraians quickly retreating as the sector flagship was blown apart. The heavily damaged ships were boarded and commandeered, the crews dropped in the escape pods on Todain.

"Engineering crews, get those ships repaired to the best of your abilities then take them to sector zero-zero-one," ordered Tenchi, having stayed out of the battle for the time being. The Family knew that as soon as the ship of the Goddess entered the fray, the Juraians may turn suicidal and kamikaze their ships en masse.

"Fan out from here," said Seina, "This spearhead tactic will only work one more time against Azusa, so let's save it for when it counts." Left unsaid would be that the next time it was used would be in the Juraian system itself.

"You know your duties," Ranma attempted to soothe his family. "We will do this to our best abilities, even with the glitching Yggdrasil and we will be able to relax once the threat is eliminated."

"Meaning, you all will be alive to return home," barked Nabiki, her emotional side coming forth. "I know my plan to survive, as do the rest of you. Just do it, and get home."

A prison camp was quickly built on Todain, the Galactic Academy happy to be out from under the Juraian Empire's thumb. While they weren't too pleased with the stationed personnel from Tenchi and Seina's families, they were quickly soothed by the fact that they were neutral observers administering to the prisoners rights.

Hey, total galactic conquest notwithstanding, even prisoners of war have rights.

From there, the combined might of the fleets spread out. Ranma took his pieces of the game to Seniwa, the homeworld of the Kuramitsu family. Kasumi had stationed her pieces on the Juraian edge of the Todain system, drawing a line in the nebulae. Karin took hers to the Beta system, while Urd headed for the Alpha system. Ukyo headed for the Renza Union line, intending to cut up through there to begin the box. Nabiki headed for open space, to circle around on the right flank of the Empire. The others traveled parallel to the line drawn by Kasumi, making certain to keep the phenomena of the galaxy at their backs.

Once the pieces of the game were in place, they moved as one on the push to Jurai Prime . . .

TBC

Finally got over the writers block. Sorry for the weird parts in here, but hey a little comedy never hurts.

Okay, big bold print time. _**FOR THE LAST TIME, I DO NOT HAVE THE MANGA! PAY ATTENTION! I ONLY HAVE THE ANIME, TO WHICH I BASE MY FICS. THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M SAYING THIS, SO IF YOU STILL CAN'T CATCH ON DIAL 1-800-BOO-HOO AND TALK TO SOMEBODY THAT GIVES A SHIT!**_

Goddamnit, catch on . . . anyway, Ja!


	34. TGD 14

Disclaimer: Man, I really need to copy and paste my disclaimers. I'm running out of ideas on how to say I own NOTHING. Wait, that works.

Rant: Oh boy, here we go! Thanks go to weebee for pointing out a site that has the Ranma manga online. Oy, I didn't think it was that long. Besides, I don't do canon (obviously).

After several dozen attempts, I just couldn't get into the next universe without sounding (more so than usual) like a complete buffoon. So, I've retooled the ending of this chapter which will help me re-launch the fic in the direction I want it to go.

The Goddess Dilemma, part fourteen

By: Jim Ohki

**_-(Seniwa Prime, day thirteen late evening Earth time)-_**

"GO!" roared Ranma, taking point in the running ground battle with the Juraian occupants. Azusa had gotten tired of so many systems leaving the Empire that he had sent garrisons of troops to the key worlds in their arm of the galaxy.

Seniwa Prime being one such world, as it housed several shipyards and research facilities.

The Battle of Seniwa had begun in orbit, the ships that were in Ranma's wing chasing a few that had survived the Battle of Todain. Just as the Juraian ships reverted from hyperspace, they broke apart with a partial mayday sent out as the Earth ships came pouring into the system.

The Senians had been laying in wait for the opportunity to attack their oppressors, and when the humans entered their system engaging the Juraian fleet they attacked from the flank. Once the path was cleared, the _Iwo Jima_-class ships would do flyovers and deposit marines on the ground.

Ranma was with the Five-Oh-First legion, making a bid at taking the capital. The Juraians were entrenched, having plenty of hidey-holes and supplies to make it a war of attrition.

"Boo yeah!" roared Ranma, swords swinging in wild arcs taking out eight more enemy troops as he ran passed. He had gotten behind the left flank line, and was wreaking havoc as he went. "Suck on this!" he added, right before making the opposite temperature swords touch launching a horizontal Hiryu Shoten Ha causing bodies to fly in all directions.

"Glad you're on *_our_* side," came over the small headset communicator, one of the marines having seen his maneuver.

The Juraian marines launched their counterattack from the rooftops of the taller buildings, sniping at the ground forces. That worked for all of three seconds as the _Streamrunner_-class ships would zip passed on bombing runs. While that was happening, the natives launched their own attack on the rear flank furthering the chaos.

"This battle is ours!" came from one of the garrison commanders'. "Enemy troops in full retreat . . . EVACUATE!"

There was a split second thought of 'Why?' before the friendly troops ran for it. Turned out to be a good thing as the Juraians, in a desperate bid to turn the battle in their favor, detonated a nuclear-like device.

"JESUS!" exclaimed Ranma, having bounced his way back to the primary command post outside of the city. Nearly half of his marine contingent was lost in the explosion, while the Juraians were making an attempt to retreat with their few remaining troops and ships. "Let them go, but make sure that they do go and didn't leave us another surprise."

Taking a look around him at the destruction, Ranma sent a silent prayer to those lost in the conflict. He knew that this was not the grand finale, that he'd have to do the same thing many more times before this war was said and done.

Having returned to _Prometheus_, he took a moment to himself to shed his anger at the blatant disregard for life. Without the concrete proof that the order for the device came from Azusa, he instead directed it at the ground commander . . .

A man by the name of Tennan.

Seems the Tennan Financial Group was in on the power play, led by the one and only fop named Seiryo. There were unconfirmed reports that Seiryo had gone mad after the events at Earth shortly after their disappearance, severing his ties with the Pirate Guilds to return home and slaughter his family. Being the only Tennan left (sans the children he had sired on that icy world), he inherited the family business and joined Azusa in his bid to wipe the Earthlings off of the galactic map.

Thought that pinked-haired idiot was going to fade into obscurity? Think again. One side note to all of this is that Komachi hadn't been seen in a week. There was speculation about her fate, ranging from having fallen under Seiryo's madness to working behind the scenes as an information specialist.

Shaking his head at the position he now found himself in, Ranma put those thoughts aside to fill out the required paperwork. If there was one lesson that had stuck, it was to cover his own ass and create a 'paper' trail that documented everything he did in the theatre.

His personal life, was just that.

That thought made him pause, wondering how the rest of his family was doing. His mind wandered from Earth to Renza to open space and all points in-between . . .

**_-(Earth, Nerima ruins earlier that day)-_**

"Was this wise?" asked Rei, listening to her gut for the first time in a while. The last time she had was when had the urge to protect Shinji.

"Rei, you know better than that," answered Shinji, no malice or sarcasm present in his voice. "We're totally out of our element here. Fighting Angels is one thing; fighting other humanoids is another. I doubt we could have it on our conscious, the number of lives we would cut short intentionally."

"Yes, you are correct," she responded several seconds later. Taking stock of the happenings around her, she decided to continue the train of thought. "What about abandoning NERV? Or Misato?"

Her husband of thirty-three years let out a sigh. That was one of the great questions floating around in his head, generating doubts about their actions.

"What is done is done," he replied after a moment, "And if I had to do it all over again, I'd make the same choice."

"Again you are correct," Rei half smiled at Shinji, taking his left hand in her right. "And I would gladly follow you wherever you went."

"Come on you two," stated Junior as he wandered passed, "We have much work to be done."

The pilots of Evas Zero and One nodded in agreement at the same time, releasing each others hands to climb into the plugs of their bondmates.

With none of the old flair did the Evas rise, and begin to operate like construction droids. They moved on a searched area, one that had been confirmed cleared of any dead.

The rubble began to disappear quickly, the hands of the Evangelions acting like giant buckets clearing foundations. Concrete and steel were moved to a recycling plant, built under the watchful eye of Washu.

While the recycling plant went to work creating new building materials, the Evas moved back and forth clearing even more rubble out then on the return trip bringing the larger reconstructed components back to the waiting crews for assembly.

Speaking of the scientist, Washu had decided to exclude herself from the war for personal reasons. She was not alone in that regard, most of her family having stayed at Earth to assist with the rebuilding process.

"Sector seven reports clear," said Mihoshi, not having learned of the fate of her homeworld yet. "The Evas are moving through sector six and are almost finished there."

"Good," said Ayeka, one of the spearheads of the recovery of her home away from home. "Have the droid units begin work in sector nine, the teams have reported in there."

"HOLY SHIT!" exclaimed Ryoko, having stayed to aid the defense force at the request of Tenchi. She had only agreed because Tsunami threatened Ryo-Ohki with a banishment from carrots for a decade if the cabbit interfered.

The others stopped what they were doing to have a look see at what had gotten the long retired space pirate agitated. She had been watching the Galactic News Network for any signs of her husband and his family.

"This feed is live from the Todain system," said the reporter behind the desk. "As you can see, war has erupted between the Juraian Empire and the newly discovered power of the Earth Forces. While we reported the outbreak of war on the Renza Union border two days ago, this attack was not unexpected after the attack on the human homeworld of Earth . . ."

"It has begun," intoned Kiriko, barely containing her rage at many things. The first and foremost was that Seina had declared that they, along with their cabbit Fuku, were to remain at Earth for reasons unspecified. How he had commandeered _Mizuki_ was a mystery, one that was going to have to wait until he came home. Another cause of rage was the actions of Azusa, added together with the feeling of helplessness.

"-ooks like the Earth Forces came to win," continued the reporter, drawing the attention of those gathered back to the vidscreen only to see what was left of the Juraian forces in full retreat.

"Where's _Tsunami_ and _Sister_?" demanded Amane, already not liking the way things were turning.

"More than likely cloaked," reassured Washu. "Those two ships would cause a breakdown of moral in the Juraian ranks. They're probably with Ranma's task force."

"The fleet is spreading out," commented Balta, having kept her eyes on the screen. "Seniwa, Alpha, Beta, Renza, uncharted, Todain . . . they're going to force the Juraian Navy to spread out."

"Seniwa?" questioned Mihoshi, suddenly paying attention to the goings on in the galaxy at large. "Daddy?"

"Oh great, here we go," joked Ryoko, trying to lighten the mood.

Before Mihoshi could launch into one of her rare angry rants, the GNN came back to life.

"This is unheard of," said the same reporter from before, completely awed at what has happening. "The EF ships have a drive faster than that of any race in the galaxy that we know of. This is a live feed from Seniwa Prime . . ."

"Azusa is insane," drawled Neju, taking note of the ground crews that were in hiding filming the occupation force gearing up for a battle.

"Oh no!" gasped Mihoshi as the ground battle got under way following a short space battle. Those watching could see the level of devastation before the battle even began as the Juraians had to fight down resistance.

Then the camera caught sight of Ranma, leading the charge into the capital.

"GET'EM!" Mihoshi yelled at the screen, making an attempt to mirror the movements of Ranma as he sliced and diced his way behind the left flank. While there was an obstruction in the way, it didn't take much imagination to recreate the attack that had sent bodies flying everywhere.

"Reports coming in from the sectors nearest Earth," broke in the reporter, while the live feed continued. "Multiple fronts have appeared in nine different systems . . ."

The view switched from the closing Battle of Seniwa to a shot of the Beta system, before immediately jumping back to Seniwa.

"By the Maker!" gasped the reporter, while somebody off camera could be heard crying. "The Juraians have used a city neutralizer on the capital of Seniwa Prime . . ."

The rest was tuned out as the ground crew, having noticed the hiatus by the Earth Marines had followed them to their command post, only to look back and see most of the capital leveled.

"Jesus Christ," deadpanned Kiriko, "Now this is over the top."

No reply was forthcoming as Mihoshi broke into a fit of hysterics, bawling her eyes out. "Please, no!"

While her family moved to comfort her knowing all to well the power of loss, the Yamada wives continued to watch the GNN.

**_-(Alpha system)-_**

The _Will of the Kami_ moved gracefully through space. She had plenty of fighters in a shield formation as the ship continued on her way with the battle raging.

The element of surprise was long gone after the attack at Todain. Now the Juraian Naval crews were wide awake and not sitting on the toilet. They were prepared with plenty of Drones, frigates, destroyers and even two Second Generation treeships.

"Tell the left flank to tighten up," barked Urd, cutting loose her little known battle prowess. "Have the right speed up by five percent. The enemy is trying to box us in."

While things appeared to be calm on the _Imperial_-class Star Destroyer, the space two hundred kilometers in front of her was anything but. Urd was using the ships at her disposal in a quarter moon formation. With her was the Seventh Fleet, comprised of a hundred different ships, ten of each class except any Star Destroyer types. It helped to set her ship apart from the rest of the fleet, and luck happened to be on their side as the Juraians couldn't locate the command ship.

Hey, having one of it's class threw many off the trail as to the real command ship. The enemy thought it was a decoy, to lead them away from what they presumed to be the real target.

The battle waged as fighters flew between the engaged ships, attempting to blow one another into pieces. The Juraians kept the two treeships in the rear of the battle, hoping to repel the attack on the held Alpha system with the various cruisers, destroyers and frigates in their own fleet.

"That's better," stated Urd, "Have the left guard _Galaxy_ wing deploy their antimatter bombs at the Dreadnoughts. Use the right guard _Sovereign_ line to plug the hole."

Just like Urd wanted, the Juraians were attempting to group their firepower together then make a push at the center of the bowl formation closing around them. It turned out to be their undoing as the antimatter bombs flew from ten saucers, overloading shields and breaching hulls with ease. Eight of ten Juraian Dreadnoughts were completely destroyed in the maneuver, the last two being knocked out of commission for a long while.

**_-(Beta System)-_**

"Hold the line!" barked Karin from the situation table on her Victory-class Star Destroyer _Wild Child_. While the battles of Seniwa and Alpha were a success, her battle in the Beta system was not going so smoothly. The Juraians were getting desperate after three consecutive losses, and had dug their oldest ships out of mothballs to aid their failing lines.

Her _Galaxy_ and _Venture_ wings were already gone, only two _Sovereign_'s, five _Defiant_'s, four _Streamrunner_'s, a single _Intrepid_, two _Aegian_'s, three _Iwo-Jima_'s, two _Akira_'s remained while her enemy had just gotten a reinforcement of thirty Dreadnought-class attack cruisers.

"We need a miracle," whispered one of the bridge officers, watching as the next to last _Sovereign_ died. "Ma'am, it's either call for reinforcements or retreat. Those are our only options."

While Karin thought, having to break the rust off of her military training to wage this campaign, her ship came under attack. The port side turbo laser batteries went silent from a power failure, while the starboard torpedo and missile launch tubes were fused shut.

"Send out the mayday," she spoke at what seemed to be long last, even though only five seconds had elapsed. "We're closer to open space, so bring the remainder of the fleet around to present the enemy's flank to that direction."

While her crew went to work on getting her orders accomplished, she took a moment to think about the situation. She silently sent a mental distress call to Ranma, hoping that by some miracle it would reach him.

"Engines down!" shouted one of the engineers from the command pit, right before her station exploded. While the wounded engineer was moved aside to save her life, another had taken over a spare console to see just how bad the damage was.

"We're dead in the water," he reported, "The port engine exhaust manifold is fused closed, central is suffering a power flux while starboard isn't even there anymore."

"Tell the rest of the fleet to retreat to Alpha point," barked Karin, before letting a single tear fall. "Then initialize self destruct sequence Bravo."

**_-(Earth, Nerima ruins)-_**

"No, no, no, no!" shouted both Ryoko's at the holoscreen at the near defeat taking place in the Beta system. Both ex-pirates had grown attached to the displaced numerous times woman, and at the moment were feeling completely helpless.

"Wait a minute, what's that?" wondered Washu as she paused in her supervision of the reconstruction work.

"I see it too," added Amane, her eagle-eyes having noticed the distortion at the same moment as the Greatest Scientist in the Universe.

"YES!" shouted the four, drawing the attention of the rest of the Family on Earth.

**_-(Beta System)-_**

"Spatial distortion nine hundred kilometers behind the enemy line," barked a Lieutenant on sensors.

"Another wave of reinforcements?" questioned Karin, her right index finger resting just below the self-destruct activation button.

"Unknown . . . wait, a single ship has just entered the system. It's the _Kimiko_."

Just looking out the view ports took care of verifying the sensor readings as the heavily-armed _Super_ dove headfirst into the enemy formation, all forty thousand weapon ports going full tilt.

"More ships reverting from faster than light," cheered the Lieutenant. "The _Gates of Hell_, _Dark Ninja_, _Amazon_ and _Ranchan_ are hailing us!"

**_-(Earth, Nerima ruins)-_**

"That was too close," commented Junior while holding his brother Yuri. The original shouting of the former pirates had gotten the young child's attention, and since the GNN had a nasty habit of placing the ever popular screen labels on the various ships as they fought, it didn't take him long to know that his mother was in serious trouble.

Being only three, there were a limited number of words the tike could speak and read. Two of them, his first words to be precise, were Wild Child.

"Get 'em!" cheered Peorth, her sudden return from Yggdrasil control scaring a few of those present. She had been the one drafted to assist in repairs to the World Tree, which suited her just fine considering the alternative.

"This is going to take too long," intoned Washu as she did some quick number-crunching in her head. "A war of attrition is something we cannot afford."

"So much to do, ne?" quipped her daughter, before the communications network came to life. There was chatter going everywhere at once, threatening to overload the system.

"Apparently, Ranma agrees with you," commented Kiriko who had taken a glance at the sky. Her comment had acquired the others attention, and they looked in the same direction to see all but the Nineteenth and Twentieth fleets break their orbits to reinforce the front.

**_-(Jurai system)-_**

"What is the meaning of this?" demanded Azusa as his situation table went bonkers with the movements of the enemy fleets. The pests from Earth had changed directions again, which was actually a sound tactic as it caused confusion. Instead of attempting to come at him from all sides, they were gearing up with a large fleet to come straight at him. The Renza fleet had broken their engagements, shifting to add their firepower to the eight hundred 'fresh' ships coming from the human homeworld. When the fleets regrouped, two light years in his direction from Todain, the table gave up the ghost as the counter couldn't go much passed thirteen hundred in one group.

"Have all available ships return to Jurai!" bellowed the Emperor while taking a mental count of his own firepower. The eighteen hundred ships coming from the bane of his existence could match his fleet, but the added hundred from the Renza Union tipped the scales in their favor. "By Imperial order, the three remaining Chobimaru's are to be brought online and stationed at the homeworld!"

One was lost, but the other three were going to come in real handy. Azusa nodded with satisfaction as the situation table, once its' operational programming was retrofitted to handle the load, turned into a large sea of green around Jurai Prime.

Not that it lasted long. He ignored the two red dots heading back to Earth, as the nineteen hundred ship enemy fleet suddenly appeared on the perimeter.

"Let's get low, let's get fast!" whooped Ranma as the melee in space began. The fighter squadrons rushed the Drones, while the destroyers, frigates, cruisers and capital ships engaged their counterparts. The _Streamrunner_-class ships were doing what they were originally designed to do, fire tri-cobalt torpedoes from a distance like an artillery platform.

Beam weapons of choice flashed back and forth, along side torpedoes and missiles. It was numbers for the Family versus durability for the Juraians, as both sides began to accumulate casualties. Ships burst into a momentary flame before the vacuum consumed that too.

The confusion was great as three thousand ships performed their deadly dance, making it impossible to keep track of all the traffic zipping around.

"Where's the _Prometheus_?" demanded Hild, her small sector having a miniscule lull, allowing her the time to take a look at the maelstrom.

**_-(Throne room, Royal Palace)-_**

"You and me, right now," taunted Ranma, using his lessons of yore to aggravate his adversary to no end. It had already come as a great surprise to the guards when he had appeared right next to the Emperor from out of thin air.

Azusa wasted no time with Sinai speeches and the like, jumping straight into combat. The guards could not assist in fear of hitting the Emperor.

Swords clashed in the deadly dance. Ranma was gauging his opponent while Azusa was simply trying to kill him. They had been fighting for twenty minutes when Azusa overextended and Ranma used the hilt of his blade like a bludgeon.

"Do you yield?" he demanded as he pushed the tip of his sword into the Emperor's throat. The guards that had not acted before took one step forward before realizing that if they interfered Azusa would be headless.

"Go ahead and kill me," taunted the millennia old man. "Give my people the justification to exterminate your species from the galactic map. Let me live, and the same thing will happen. Either way, you and your elk are doomed!"

**_-(Jurai Prime space)-_**

The battle in orbit had been just out of range of the Chobimaru super-weapons. Their standing orders were to destroy any enemy vessels that came in range of the planet as a last line of defense. One major flaw in their plan to act as a shield was the very planet they were trying to protect.

The orbital defense satellites that had been silent as the enemy hadn't wandered into their effective range came to life.

"What the hell?" demanded one of the station commanders. There was absolutely no reason for the defense grid to target them.

"Distortion in sector five . . . Holy Goddess, it's Tsunami!" reported one of the scanner technicians.

The battle appeared to pause as _Tsunami_ decloaked near the front of the Earth line. The Juraians, certain of victory now, were completely dumbfounded when the communications network was overridden with a Royal command code.

"To all Juraian Naval ships engaged in combat in systems one and four-eight-nine, you are hereby ordered to stand down," said the never publicly seen before Princess Sasami. Even though she now had the appearance of an adult. "Authorization: Tsunami. Stand down now, please."

"So, she's been corrupted too," mused a second Chobimaru commander. "I knew letting her stay on Earth was a bad idea." Turning to face the weapons control console, she spoke again. "Range to target?"

"What . . . are you insane?" returned the Lieutenant, gesturing at the vidscreen. "That's Tsunami, Goddess of Jurai and you want to *_blow her up?_*"

"She's been turned by those disgusting Earthlings. Now, range to target?" tried the commander again while taking several steps in the direction of the weapons console.

"Range to target . . . Seventy-nine inches," groused the controller. "Take one more step in my direction and I'll blow us to Hell." Reaching down, she punched in a series of equations that would cause the Superlaser to fire the wrong way. Straight through the power core.

**_-(Royal Throne Room)-_**

"All right, this is a challenge," quipped Ranma as his opponents geared up for another assault. He'd almost had the Emperor of Jurai yield when Seiryo Tennan made his much feared appearance.

"Be quiet you wretched Earthling!" roared Seiryo as the pair attempted a flanking maneuver. They were certain that this move would work as Ranma had only the one sword in his hand and they were coming from two directions.

The sentient sword was having none of it, however. It hadn't had this much fun in millennia, and wasn't about to lose the first person to wield it successfully in that long a time. A random thought from its' host gave the sword an idea, and being a weapon of destruction it went for it.

Azusa and Seiryo both came screaming in, aiming for the same spot on opposite sides of the intruder's torso. Ranma himself had paused for the briefest of moments before moving again.

The swords split into their original forms, before he brought the hilts together, blades flowing one hundred eighty degrees from each other. The hilts recombined before extending to a length of two and a half feet with five foot long blades on either side.

The Juraians were surprised when their tactic was defeated by Ranma rolling his shoulders, the now double-side sword singing as it intercepted their weapons.

"Let's dance," was all that Ranma said. He began twirling the double sword in varying circles, making certain to do it fast enough that neither of his opponents could spot the miniscule openings in his defense.

The fight was joined anew, Seiryo and Azusa attacking randomly in a vain attempt to break his defense. Vain, as in since they were using the random tactic there was no coordination between the two.

**_-(Earth, Nerima ruins)-_**

"Looks like everybody except Ranma and his 'crew' are back," offhandedly remarked Tenchi. He knew that if Azusa died in the current combat being broadcast to anybody out there that he would have to take over the Throne. Not the greatest of ideas in his book, as Ayeka had filled him in on the modus operandi of the Juraian politicos.

"I wonder why Karin grabbed a Runabout and headed for the front," mumbled Seina, who was still sore from the ass chewing he'd received from his family. While they cooled down, he took stock of the current goings on.

The command vessels of the Saotome family had returned to the Sol system, along with the remains of their fleets. Absent were the commanding officers of the ships, having ordered them home from the _Prometheus_. Tsunami was in the midst of organizing the remains of the Juraian Navy, having seized control of the Empire while Azusa was engaged in combat. Seina knew the same thing Tenchi did concerning the Throne, and pitied whomever followed the current Emperor.

No matter what happened, there would be one hell of a mess to clean up. That much was certain.

Focusing back on the live feed from Jurai, Seina noticed that Ranma was losing what little remained of his patience. Seiryo and Azusa both took a mighty horizontal swing at point blank range, to which Ranma back flipped to avoid.

All eyes across the galaxy bugged out as the swords passed through the two Juraian nobles, while Ranma suddenly had the wish to have blocked that last attack instead of dodging as usual.

The guards that didn't act in fear of hitting their leader charged in kamikaze style, surrounding Ranma as a transporter took hold. Not two seconds later, they gathered around the bodies of Seiryo and Azusa, at a complete loss as to what to do next.

The fragile alliance they had, however, instantly turned into a blood feud. Those loyal to Seiryo that had the resources attacked those loyal to Azusa, beginning the first Juraian Civil War in eighteen millennia.

The planetary cameras went offline at that point, so the GNN displayed what was happening in orbit. Some of the ships, ranging from frigates to capital to even a few treeships, stayed in close proximity to _Tsunami_ on guard duty, while the rest had turned their weapons on each other.

Two of the three Chobimaru's self-destructed in the midst of the Seiryo loyalists, taking many their number with them. The third, however, was looking for different prey.

**_-(Juraian Prime, Orbit)-_**

Those watching across the galaxy had no clue of the mutiny aboard this Chobimaru. It was swift, it was deadly.

It was stopped.

The loyalists to Azusa were seeing red, with more reasons than one. Their prey, their primary target, had already turned and transitioned to hyperspace, taking her escorts with her.

"_Tsunami_ may have escaped, but there is still one Earth ship in range," spoke the Commander of the planet-killer with madness in his voice. "Charge the primary weapon _quietly_, then blow her out of space."

"Sir!" was the answer as the weapon techs set to do their task. It was much harder to charge the Superlaser in such a way to avoid sensor detection of the power buildup.

On the outside, the dish that comprised of the weapons' focus was away from any prying eyes. The sections that comprised of the dish pulled into the hull, and energy slowly began to build.

"Fifty percent charge," barked a Lieutenant. "Time to fire . . . they're on to us!" On the main screen, they could see their target begin to accelerate away from the gravity well of Jurai to reach a Lagrange Point and make a light speed jump.

"FIRE!" shouted the Commander, knowing that even a fifty percent charge would be more than enough to destroy the ship.

The weapon on the Chobimaru fired seconds in front of a transphasic torpedo being launched from the enemy vessel. The tracking systems took over the fire control, swiveling the beam around to graze the port nacelle before the device of the doom impacted on the hull.

The _Prometheus_ was scorched, but beyond that was unharmed as she made her jump to warp. At least, that's what the sensors said . . .

**_-(Onboard _Prometheus_, en route to Earth)-_**

"Chaos, chaos wherever I go!" sang Ranma as he lavished being cleaned by the sonic shower. He'd rather have a bath right now, but as this was the only way to make do, he figured he'd enjoy it.

His wives were lounging around in their quarters, rolling their eyes every time he hit a note off key. The events on Jurai were fresh in their minds, but as their task was complete they were chatting up a storm about rebuilding Earth.

While they talked, and Ranma continued to bombard their ears with his off-tune singing, something in the engines of the ship finally triggered an alarm.

"Ma'am," a Second Lieutenant barked across the room. "The plasma converter in the port nacelle is vibrating zero point one zero beyond specifications."

"What?" returned the Chief Engineer, running several calculations through her head as she made her way to the station the alarm had come from at a brisk pace. "It was fine a minute ago, what's going on?"

"Unknown," answered the tech, "But the vibration is getting worse. Now at point two-two and climbing. The static warp bubble is becoming unstable."

"Engineering to Bridge," barked the now agitated Chief after slapping her communications badge. Once she got a response, she continued, "We have a problem down here, drop us out of warp!"

As the warp core slowed the matter/antimatter reaction in response to the commands issued by the helm, the entire ship bucked.

"The port nacelle just exploded!" came from across Main Engineering. "Attitude thrusters off-line, we're spinning and out of control!"

"*_Warning, core breach imminent. Five minutes until detonation._*" came the monotone of the computer, sending the on duty engineering staff into a frenzy.

"Dump the core!" came from the shift Commander. "All nonessential hands to the escape pods! Repeat, all nonessential hands to the escape pods!"

As the crew in Engineering set to their task of ejecting the core, those that had been rudely awakened or had their quality time interrupted made tracks for the pods. While the abandon ship order hadn't been issued yet, it was better to be safe than sorry.

"Core ejected!" shouted the Chief as she watched the reaction chamber drop from view as it was propelled along the ejector rails. Once the core was gone, all of the nonessential systems shut down to conserve power from the fusion reactors.

"Impulse is back on line!" came another shout as the ship gave a slight lurch, an indication that they were no longer spinning in random circles.

The bridge was in chaos when Ranma and his crew walked through the lift door. Several stations had shorted out, blowing monitors and sending pieces of plastic everywhere.

"Report!" barked their leader, irritated that he couldn't relax yet.

"We've ejected the warp core," said the Commander on duty. "The port nacelle had more damage than we thought. The plasma converter had been knocked so slightly out of alignment that the sensors couldn't detect it until just before the entire nacelle blew apart."

On the screen, some five million kilometers behind the _Prometheus_, a new star was briefly born before the vacuum absorbed the light. The impulse engines had done their job, carrying them just far enough away that the shockwave from the matter/antimatter explosion simply vibrated the ship as it passed.

"All right, stand down from general quarters," barked Karin. "How close are we to the Sol system?"

"We are in the system now," came from the navigator. "But I'm not picking up any signs of the fleet."

"Maintain course and best speed," ordered Ranma before gesturing to his personal entourage towards the conference room. "Inform us upon our arrival, we'll be in a meeting."

Once the conference room was straightened up, at least to the point that they could have a seat, the group stared at each other for five minutes.

"I have a feeling we're on the road again," finally said Xian. She was met with incredulous looks, before acceptance took hold.

"I've lost my connection to the system again," came from Hild, earning nods from Urd and Peorth in confirmation of their similar situation.

"Where do you think we've ended up this time?" asked Kasumi, her mind drifting back to the last universe visited. While the memories of those lost still hurt, she put them aside to attempt to be a pillar of strength.

"No idea, but it had better be . . . more pleasant than the last," declared Nabiki, catching her sisters' mood with ease.

"This time we're alone," commented Ukyo. "We don't even have the support of Washu to find a way back, if we are indeed in another universe."

"Well, we're not _truly_ alone," remarked Taki, making eye contact with those gathered around the table. "We have each other, and Washu will come looking for us once we fail to return."

"So, what now?" wondered Urd.

"Go with the flow," answered Peorth. The two Goddesses looked at each other, not having to say anything else. If they were indeed in another reality, then they'd just had to do what they could to survive long enough to be found.

"And I thought life was getting dull," quipped Karin, earning smiles all around.

Just before Ranma could throw in his two cents, they were summoned back to the bridge.

"Okay ...," he deadpanned at his first glance of the viewscreen. Yes, it was Earth. Only this one hadn't been shelled with a tri-cobalt type bomb. It looked eerily similar to their home before Azusa came, while at the same time several things were different.

"What's with the debris field near the South Pole?" questioned Kasumi, her ever present eye for detail catching the hulks of at least three gigantic ships.

"Heat plume rising from what would be the Nevada desert," said one of the scientists cataloging the day to day life on the surface.

"Helm, move us at best possible speed to behind the moon," calmly stated Ranma, before turning to the Chief Engineer. "Get the spare core installed and as operational as can be without the port nacelle."

"Trouble?" wondered Nabiki, her right eyebrow raised to show her incomprehension, or would that be suspicion, of the situation.

"Do you really have to ask?" retorted Karin, now a veteran of Ranma's weird chaos effects.

The _Prometheus_ was still agile, even without her warp drive. It became obvious that she also had a better sensor package as well when the craft rising from the surface had lost them as they moved behind the moon.

**-_(Home Universe)_-**

The power vacuum in the Juraian Hierarchy had to be plugged, and quickly at that. The Civil War was threatening to spill over into the neighboring territories, already leery from the amount of fighting that had occurred after the attack on Earth.

Tenchi and his family had bugged out to Jurai Prime, doing what they had to do to stabilize the region. Seina and his family opted to stay in the Sol system, holding down the fort until Ranma returned minus Karen, Surien, Haruken and Gyokuren as they were needed at their homeworld.

"They're over an hour late," commented Kiriko as she eyeballed the sensor readouts. While it was known that Ranma was a joker, he did at least have decent timing with the delivery and wouldn't fool around too much with work to be done.

"The scout just reported in," barked Amane as she walked towards the plot table. "They found what appears to be the remains of one of _Prometheus_'s nacelles here, and a subspace fissure here." She pointed out the two areas that were almost on top of each other, before finishing her report. "There is space-time continuum damage in that sector."

"Forward all of our data to Washu on Jurai," Seina finally spoke up, his voice tired from constant use. "We need them home to take care of things here while we go back to the GP."

While the meeting was happening, the sensor buoys recorded the sudden appearance of a small craft that was out on a recon mission near the moon. It registered as so much of a non-threat that, while listed as an unknown contact, the software of the array didn't send a red alert throughout the system. When the contact disappeared the same way it had appeared, it was cataloged for further study and 'forgotten' about.

Then it's carrier ship appeared, in virtually the same spot ten minutes later. This much bigger craft triggered the alarm, not that it mattered by this point as it had used a space-fold 'Jump Drive' right into the middle of a Star Destroyer squadron.

In the path of the _Super_ in charge of said squadron.

The former Imperial ship speared the newcomer on the starboard side, her bulk not being able to stop in such short distances.

Over the screams of protesting metal, the sounds of shorting electronics, and the collision alarm that nobody seemed inclined to turn off, more ships appeared. There were plenty of friendly ships available to contain the growing chaos to the far side of the moon.

"What the hell is going on out there?" roared Ryoko, wanting time to take a nice long bath.

"You know, I'd swear that looked like a refugee fleet," Neju commented as she passed by to a different plot table. "That one that got shishcabobbed is an obvious heavy cruiser, but the rest look too . . . civilian. They're all damaged to some extent."

"Tell our boys to back off out there," barked Seina, having watched a transport panic at a proximity alarm, turn hard port and drive straight into a larger transport. Both survived the collision, however communications chatter intensified with pleas for help with the wounded.

"Well, I'd put money on that cruiser being named _Galactica_," deadpanned Amane as a live visual feed came up on a monitor. The port side, not having a ten kilometer long ship sticking out of it, was tilted slightly downward to present the landing bay and gigantic nameplate for all to see.

Unnoticed, the world glitched . . .

**_-(Battlestar _Galactica, _outside the Sol Oort Cloud, time minus ten minutes)-_**

"This has to be it," Admiral William 'Bill' Adama said, his gravelly voice carrying through the quiet Combat Information Center. The Raptor had came screaming back in, all too eager in reporting their findings.

"That's a lot of firepower," commented his First Officer, Colonel Saul Tigh. "If this is Earth, just what the hell do that need _that_ much protection from?"

The video feed from the Raptor continued to play on a monitor near the plot pit. The shipyards were obvious, as a badly damaged hulk was being towed into position for repairs. Same went for the defense turrets and sensor buoys, each clustered at regular intervals to promote overlapping coverage.

None of the ships, however, matched any design in the Library. More than a few looked to be civilian transports, until they executed impossible maneuvering for vessels of that size.

"Well, at the very least if this isn't Earth they should know where it is," dryly commented Laura Roslin, President of what remained of their Twelve Colonies. She watched the plot pit, what little tactical knowledge she had for being a former school teacher giving her a list of possibilities. Not that she'd _voice_ them, not in the CIC and not to anybody else other than Bill.

"I guess we should introduce ourselves," lightly joked Saul. "There's not much in the way of a hole in their patrols, except here near this moon."

"Yes," agreed Roslin, "we should introduce ourselves. As well as warn them about the Cylons."

"Begin jump prep," the Admiral barked to his crew. "That moon is a good place to come in to wave a white flag in peace."

"I should go back to _Colonial One_," said the President as she began to head for the door. She didn't fail to notice Adama looking at her with that calculating look he gives all tactical situations, which caused her to pause.

"No," finally came from Bill, "You should stay right here. Like the Colonel said, there's a lot of firepower in that system. _Galactica_ can take a bit more of a beating."

Oh, surprise of surprises as there was no argument forthcoming from Laura for a change. She simply returned to her previous spot at the plot table in the pit, looking smug for some odd reason.

"Give the fleet the jump coordinates," Tigh had ignored the little byplay happening with the two highest ranking people in the fleet. "Have them hold station for five minutes then follow us into the Earth system."

Ah, there's the mistake that would create havoc on a solar scale. Adama and Roslin were busy flirting while trying not to get caught flirting, and the Colonel hadn't thought the way his order would be interpreted with that magic word Earth present.

The jump was smooth, the landing was not. As soon as _Galactica_ was in the system, DRADIS went nuts with contacts galore. The three in the pit were sorting out the information as quickly as possible, looking for either the command ship for the fleet or a relay station pointed at the planet. Then they found themselves on the floor as the ship shook violently around them.

"Report!" barked Adama, while Roslin could be heard in the background 'Are they shooting at us?'.

"Collision, starboard flight pod. Hull breach and heavy structural damage," Lieutenant Felix Gaeta shouted over the collision alarm.

"Sir," Petty Officer Anastasia 'Dee' Dualla was barely heard over the alarms and now protesting hull, but the shock in her voice got Adama's attention anyway.

Turning to look in her direction, he saw what she was looking at and had to grip the plotter for support. This action caught the attention of his XO and the President, they, in turn, turning to see what had the Old Man so obviously disturbed.

"How big is that thing?" demanded Saul immediately after seeing what was on the monitor. One of the old docking cameras had survived after all this time, thus enabling them to look down the length of the ship they had collided with.

"Judging from the size of that one over there," Gaeta pointed out another one of the monster ships, "I'd say ten kilometers give or take."

"FRAK!" came from Colonel Tigh, "The fleet followed us in almost immediately and they're getting bounced around out there!"

Sure enough, calls for assistance began to come in as transports collided with each other or one of the battleships in their jump zone. The _Astral Queen_, all to eager to be in first to spread the gospel of Zarek, had gone into an uncontrolled spin after turning too hard for her design, slamming into the surface of the moon and exploding.

"Very quietly launch the Raptors for damage assessment and medical transfers," ordered Adama, taking note that the insanely large fleet around them was slowly backing away. While they did stop at a respectable distance, as soon as the Raptors appeared waves of fighters spewed from their bellies or moved in closer from their support station.

Not one shot was fired. This worked out good for both sides, as the unknown fighters and what Adama thought was their Raptor equivalent flew in a loose CAP formation. As they appeared to be ignored, the Raptors moved faster between the damaged transports.

"What the hells is that thing supposed to be?" loudly demanded Tigh, a new ship having entered the sphere around them. "Damned thing almost looks organic."

**_-(Moon orbital track, _Tsunami's Sister_)-_**

"Is there any reason they are not answering our hails?" asked Seina, keeping his cool even after watching a ship explode against the surface of the moon.

"Their long range communications are down, short range is low band radio," answered Kiriko. "Our hails are on a frequency much higher than the one they are using."

"Okay, this just gets weirder and weirder," quipped Amane. "Low band radio on a cruiser? Anybody that wanted to could listen in very easily."

"I see they haven't launched any fighters," came from Neju, her eye for detail scanning the entire area. "Those shuttles are doing damage control and transport of wounded back to the cruiser."

This time, when the world glitched people noticed. After all, it's not everyday that a partially finished Super Star Destroyer appears from nowhere.

"What the hell?" demanded Ryoko, as they began to hunt down this design in the Archives. "No, it can't be . . ."

"By the Gods I'm glad Ranma _isn't_ here!" let out Kiriko after locating the design specifications in the computer.

"An _Eclipse_-class Super Star Destroyer," gasped Neju, having finally taken a look at Kiriko's screen. "Scanning . . . The coaxial Superlaser is functional, as is life support and the sublight engines."

"No life signs," added Ryoko, turning to look at Seina. She studied his facial expression, then had to voice one of the few standing orders that Ranma would force onto them. "You know we have to destroy her Seina. If nothing else, it's because of the Superlaser planet killer that's built into her."

"Let me deal with him when he gets back," spoke up their leader and defacto absentia leader of the fleet. "Board her, take her to the shipyards for completion. We have bigger fish to fry."

**_-(_Galactica_ CIC plot pit)-_**

"What the hells is going on in this forsaken system?" bellowed Tigh to a silent CIC. That lone ship had paused the fleet around them, before several of the small ones took up escort positions to lead it to the shipyard.

"What-that's not possible!" blurted out Gaeta from his post, before looking over at a second display for confirmation. "There were no life readings onboard that ship that appeared out of the blue, now there's over a thousand!"

"Just what is this place?" wondered Laura before DRADIS went nuts again.

"Cylons!" shouted Gaeta, before visibly paling.

"How many?" wondered Admiral Adama, looking up at his own display above the plotter.

"All of them, sir," was the whispered reply, as on the screen the ninety-forth Basestar jumped into the system.

"Recall the Raptors, tell the fleet to move further in system and launch every available fighter," ordered Bill, preparing to draw the line in the sand. "Can we move?"

"No sir," answered Colonel Tigh. "We got speared clean through the starboard flight pod and a quarter of the way into the main superstructure. If we try to move we'll break apart."

"Communications?"

"No luck so far. We can't detect any of their frequencies."

"Sir, that ship we're attached to is moving," came from Mr. Gaeta. "She's turning in system, away from the potential battle zone."

"Okay, so they know we're in a jam over here," encouraged Laura. She was doing her best to stay out of the way, especially with the appearance of their enemy.

"Sweet merciful FRAK!" loudly understated Adama as the planet itself came into view. There were still a couple of fires burning in the remains of a city, tiny dots of construction crews moving about doing the prep work to repair what they could and rebuild what they couldn't.

"Did the Cylons get here before us?" whimpered Dee, her hopes beginning to go up in flames like the city below.

"No traces of radioactivity," reported Felix, "Large clusters of life readings, numbering well over five billion."

"Wow, that's got to be cramped," said an awed Colonel before coming back to the business at hand. "Arm bow, port and aft guns. Keep starboard offline as we don't want to shoot our taxi."

**_-(_Tsunami's Sister_)-_**

"I get the distinct impression that those are _not friendlies_," groused Ryoko. She didn't have to look at anything other than the visual feed from the forward ships as the new arrivals began dumping insanely large amounts of fighters into space.

"The impaled ship is launching what little fighters they have, they're taking up positions slightly in front of our own line," reported Amane as _Sister_ went into combat mode.

"Malware detected," said Kiriko, "Apparently our friends out there tried to use a backdoor exploit on the system. Firewalls holding and counterattacking."

One of the many perks of having Washu around. At least with computer code, there was no equal in the universe. It would be her experiments that would blow things up.

"Do they really think nuclear warheads are going to do any damage to us?" wondered Neju.

"I bet they haven't encountered torpedoes at all, let alone the variety that we employ," offered Ryoko, as she turned to Seina.

"Let's keep it simple at first, no transphasics," he said to her silent enquiry. He looked into his own plotter, taking notes on who was where. Very quietly he sent orders to the Marines on the _Eclipse_ to turn about and hold station. "First order of the day, the enemy is not to reach Earth."

His wives paused for just a moment, before nodding their heads in agreement. There was no anticipation of battle, no having to psych up for a fight for survival.

The Basestar in the head of the enemy fleet tried to cruise pass what they believed to be an adrift _Imperial_ Star Destroyer, only to be stopped dead in their tracks by the tractor beam.

Let the shooting commence!

Pure and unadulterated chaos would be the only descriptor to the situation now. The enemy fighters tried to engage the capitol ship only to run into a literal cloud of the oddest fighters they had ever encountered.

The capitol ships began to exchange fire at this point. And the enemy was certainly surprised as their solid slugs had no real effect on the shields while the focused energy of the turbo lasers ate through their hulls like rocks passing through glass.

"Nukes loose!" shouted Ryoko.

The warheads fired off by the Cylons detonated on many a ship, the EMI blinding sensors and DRADIS alike. Being in space it took one tenth the time it would in an atmosphere for the electromagnetic interference to clear out.

**_-(_Galactica_, CIC plot pit)-_**

"Sir," began Lieutenant Gaeta, "The Cylons have launched their computer attack."

"Looks like it worked," scoffed Colonel Tigh. "The home formation is drifting apart and the Toasters are making a run at the gap."

All Adama did to acknowledge the reports and commentary was grunt while his eyes were focused on the DRADIS display over the plotter.

"What was that?" demanded the Admiral moments later as the lead Basestar stopped for no apparent reason. He'd heard rumors of the Colonial Fleet R&D working on a type of energy tow cable . . . what did they call the blasted thing? A tractor beam?

"Oh frak me," said a surprised Tigh as reports filtered in from the Vipers in the combat zone. "Sir, you should hear this."

Picking up his own handset, Adama motioned Dee to announce his presence on the air.

"Galactica Actual_, the Cylons are at a serious disadvantage out here,"_ reported Major Lee 'Apollo' Adama. _"These flying spears are holding the Basestars in place with what I could only describe as an energy ribbon. The ships also have some type of energy shielding system that's deflecting or absorbing the weapons fire from the Cylons."_ Every word sounded more and more like it was coming from a child that was frightened. After all, in their corner of the galaxy the primary weapons systems had been rail gun slugs and nukes, with good old fashioned armor to protect the ship. _"Sir, their primary weapons are energy based . . . with enough punch to damage the Basestars hull . . .," _here he paused, his tiny DRADIS system feeding new data to him. _"Nukes loose, I repeat nukes are loose."_

"Now we'll see just how good those shields are," barked the First Officer.

The entire CIC was silent as the nukes were tracked to several different targets. The targets were varying sizes of the flying wedge, including one like the ship they were involuntarily docked with. With the EMI, DRADIS was blinded for a moment before several gasps of surprise were heard.

"If only . . .," started Roslin, her eyes glazing over at one of the many things Fleet R&D had been tinkering with on a limited budget.

"Yeah," gruffly agreed Adama before returning to his Admiral persona. "Redirect the Vipers to the flank with the fleet. Keep Apollo and Starbuck on the front as our eyes for now. It seems the home team has things in hand, at least for the moment."

"Expecting something?" mumbled Tigh so that only the Admiral would hear him. Not looking in his direction, already knowing the answer he instead looked upwards at the DRADIS display. Two of the smaller oddly shaped ships were pulling back, fires burning through several punctures in the hull.

Then the saucer shaped ships with their insane speed and maneuverability got involved.

"Galactica Actual, _Apollo,_" came over the wireless almost immediately after the second wave engaged the enemy. "_Those secondary ships have some type of solid-state continuous fire laser that is eating clean through the Basestars. One of their command ships is engaging the enemy and has a point defense system. The Cylons keep launching nukes in their direction but none of them are getting through._"

"_Apollo_, Galactica Actual. What makes you think that is a command vessel?" asked Adama while not taking his eyes off of the display over the plotter. The DRADIS echo was showing a design unlike any he'd ever even dream of. The saucer was enormous, with the engines tucked underneath and a weapons pod mounted above. While he wouldn't voice the thought, the ship looked too civilian and scientific to be that heavily armed.

"_She's the only one with that design on any DRADIS, sir_," was the reply, causing the three at the central plotter to look around on the display to confirm that assessment.

The distraction was enough that they missed the opening in the formation of the defenders. When they did spot it, the Cylons were already trying to rush it with as many Basestars as they could.

"What type of missiles are those?" asked Laura to nobody in particular. Not that she expected an answer to her query as the small, rapid fire and self-propelled dots tracked across the display. When they impacted, there was no electromagnetic interference as they thought there should be. The Basestar that the nine missiles were fired at was destroyed with apparent ease, before several of the defenders vanished in a massive nuclear attack.

"Galactica Actual, _Starbuck_," came from Captain Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace. "_Those were too small to be missiles. I've never seen any that glowed red and could turn like that, let alone deliver that much punch from a tiny warhead. Now their formation is . . . what the hells? FRAK ME!_"

It had been bothering Adama that the defending fleet had yet to close up their formation, until it became a moot point after a Basestar in the middle of a tight Cylon formation was killed.

With one shot. The debris had a ripple effect, taking out four other Basestars.

"Where did that come from?" barked Tigh, his eyebrows up near where his hairline used to be. His one good eye was rapidly checking the DRADIS display. One of the icons started blinking, and it seemed that his eyebrows were now ready to leap clean off of his head.

"Energy spike from that incomplete ship!" shouted Lieutenant Gaeta. Now that he knew what to look for the system readily showed what he had missed the first time. He, along with those in the CIC, looked at the bigger display monitors as the black ship fired again at a cluster of Basestars. The Raiders in the path had zero chance as they evaporated, then the central vessel exploded. With the explosion and rapid expansion of the debris field the six other ships around it had no chance to escape before being destroyed themselves.

"By the Gods," gasped out Roslin, understating the situation as it stood now. The Cylons that had unintentional cover from 'friendly' vessels retaliated at the enormous loss of their brethren with several dozen nuclear missiles.

"Oh, that must have been a bad idea," joked Saul, his strict 'by the book' persona not being able to cope with the absurd amounts of firepower present in this system. Not voicing it, he had the thought that this might be the end if the defenders turned out to be hostile themselves.

**_-(_Tsunami's Sister_)-_**

"Seina!" shouted his present wives, appalled that the _Eclipse_ had announced her presence to the galaxy at large by taking out twelve enemy capitol ships with only two shots.

"What?" he asked in return, a look of innocence displayed by his facial expression.

"This is not going so well," said Kiriko. "We've lost thirteen _Victory-Two_s eight _Acclamator_s, six _Victory_s, three _Imperial_s, dozens of fighters, four _Intrepid_s, seven _Streamrunner_s, eleven _Iwo-Jima_s, two _Aegian_s, five _Galaxy'_s and six _Sovereign_s. Our fighter squadrons are requesting assistance with containment. The enemy fighters are carrying nuclear missiles along with the capitol ships."

"Send in the Corvettes," responded Seina. "Have them compliment the fighter squadrons. Redirect the larger ships to the front and pull the smaller ones back into orbit to prevent a flank attack. Let's see if we can lure the enemy into the defense grid."

The orders were sent out, even as the _Eclipse_ fired into another cluster of enemy ships. However, now they were learning and had begun to expand the size of the formation. Only two capitol ships were lost in that barrage, the proximity of the enemy forcing the unfinished ship to back closer to Earth and the defense grid.

"Use of quantum weapons is authorized," he added a moment later, noting that more of the Fleet was pulling out of the shipyards to reinforce the front.

"I have the radio frequency of the _Galactica_," happily reported Neju, one of her many tasks finally complete. "You know, if we can read the nameplate on the hull we should have no communication problems."

"Standby on the translator just in case," stated Amane, anticipating the thought process of Seina.

"Have the _Colorado_ move into best point defense position," suggested Ryoko while the communication link was established. As the fleet moved into their new positions, the hail went out.

**_-(_Galactica, _CIC plot pit)-_**

"They're suffering heavy loses," Adama declared to nobody in particular. At the moment, the Cylons had the momentum as the home fleet was beginning to fall back. It did take a sustained nuclear attack to overwhelm the shields on the ships, but if there was one thing that they had an abundance of, other than ordinance, was patience. The Toasters had even spread their formations out to prevent heavy loses from the ship killer that was now retreating towards the planet.

"They both are," added Colonel Tigh moments later. "Although they've lost a lot of ships, the home fleet just seem to have more coming out of the woodwork."

"The Cylons have lost one quarter of their fleet," Lieutenant Gaeta chimed in, knowing just how much of a hard time DRADIS was having with the number of contacts.

"Incoming message," Petty Officer Dualla called out, her eyes looking at nothing in particular. She was obviously stunned by whatever it was that she was hearing. "It's from that organic looking ship, identifying herself as . . . _Tsunami's Sister_? They wish to speak to you, Admiral."

Picking up his handset again, he looked in her direction. "Put it on speakers." After her nod, he keyed the mic, "This is Admiral Adama of the Colonial Battlestar _Galactica_ . . ."

TBC

Ah, much better even though the cliffhanger will probably get me killed. Like I stated above, I had to retool this chapter as the direction I previously took stalled out completely. So I figured, why not?

Ja!


	35. TGD 15

Disclaimer: I make no claims at ownership of any copyrighted characters, places or events used herein. The only thing I make a claim to is this fic, which originated in my head and any original characters created by me herein. The following was made for public consumption at zero profit, and is not for sale except to the owning companies. Yes, I dream big.

The Goddess Dilemma, part fifteen

By: Jim Ohki

**_-(Battlestar _Galactica_, CIC)-_**

The entire CIC was baited. The Admiral was in what many would consider *_"the"_* wireless conversation since the attacks on the Colonies.

"_This is Seina Yamada, Captain of_ Tsunami's Sister _and system liaison to the Galaxy Police. State your business in this area of space_," came over the speakers, beginning the slow process of dashing hopes for anybody that was listening in.

"Captain Yamada, we are all that remains of a twelve planet government spanning three systems. We have been searching for our lost brethren of Earth for the last four years now," Adama answered the issued challenge, hopefully to the liking of the one in charge of the fleet out there.

"_Colonial Battlestar _Galactica_, identify those ships that are attacking our defense perimeter_," came the voice of a female. Very faintly in the background chatter could be heard between a group of people. Of all the positions to be in, this was the absolute worst. He had been hoping to fill whomever they found in the Earth system in on the threat of the Cylons . . . and why they were so hell-bent on the extinction of all humans before the Toasters attacked.

"New DRADIS contact," interrupted Lieutenant Gaeta. "Several fleets of ships have flanked the Cylons."

On the display monitor, the dots representing the new arrivals were still in the process of transitioning from faster than light, which made them appear to move faster than the sublight engines were normally capable of. While the communications were on a secure frequency for the home fleet, now numbering well over eight hundred, it became obvious that play time was over.

"Incoming communication from the Cylons," Petty Officer Dualla spoke up, then mumbled, "It's our favorite person in the galaxy again."

"_Don't shoot, we surrender!_" screamed Gaius Baltar to any and all that would listen. In the background shorting electronics could be heard, along with the occasional console explosion. The ship he was on was zeroed in on with the help of the transmission, and isolated on DRADIS.

"_And why should I accommodate you?_" challenged Captain Yamada in return. There was more frustration in his voice than was there the last time he spoke, something that Adama was quite familiar with.

"Baltar, stuff it," the Admiral interrupted. "You turned your back on humanity, and now you shall suffer along with the rest of your . . . *_friends_*."

"_You have to listen! Several of the human-forms onboard have revolted against the Cylon God! If nothing else, do you want to be responsible for the death of Hera?_" he tried to plead his case. Baltar was many things, including being paranoid and doing everything he could to extend his life.

"_FRAK YOU!_" came the voice of Sharon 'Athena' Agathon, one time Cylon now trusted Lieutenant of the Colonial Fleet. While she was in a Raptor that had no hope in the Hells of taking on and winning against anything, it wouldn't stop her from voicing her opinion. "_You son of a bitch, I'll kill you!_"

"_You are to stand down immediately,_" said Captain Yamada to the growing crowd of shouters. "_And I mean EVERYBODY! Shut up and let me sort this damned mess out!_"

Then the line went dead, but not from jamming or any sort of interference. There was much surprise and even a couple of owlish blinkers in the CIC.

**_-(Battlefield between the moon and Mars)-_**

When the Fifth through Ninth Fleets came roaring in from patrol of the outer system, they had come in weapons blazing. The Cylon Basestars were caught completely off guard at the flanking maneuver, thinking that they had engaged the entire fleet that these humans had. The clouds of Raiders stood no chance against the fighter squadrons of the recently dubbed Terran Republic, using many different designs from stolen Imperial TIE Interceptors to a modified variant of the A-Wing. Added into the mix were the converted _Venture_-class scouts. These Raptor equivalents were a major surprise as they had top of the line weaponry and shielding.

With yet another battle in the Sol system, the second in less than a week, those that had traveled across the dimensions were getting rather tired of the non-stop violence. Roughly thirty-three years of peace had left its' mark in the form of pacifism. Not that the cloned populace on Mars and those that had migrated to Earth would complain of some action, but a break would be nice.

They fought on, however. As the Raiders were thinned out from encountering such an unknown variable in the form of ultra-fast fighters with an unknown weapon, the Basestars found themselves in a straight fight for survival with the patrol craft (good for killing fighters), frigates (good for killing Heavy Raiders and Transports), destroyers (good for killing _Resurrection_-class vessels and their light escorts) and heavy cruisers (good for capital ship combat). The standard rail gun shells did have an impact on the shields, but it took sustained fire on the same spot to force the electromagnetic field to collapse. Standard warhead missiles had the same problem, and nuclear missiles had to be cluster-fired to get through.

The Cylons attempted to maneuver themselves into a broadsides fight instead of the nose-to-nose engagement they were currently losing. Being flanked hadn't helped matters any as their rear guard defense was one of the few weaknesses their formations had. They knew that reinforcements were en route and just had to hold out long enough for them to arrive.

**_-(Command Bunker, Nerima Ruins)-_**

"You have got to be kidding me," deadpanned Misaki, displaced Second Queen of Jurai. She and her sister/wife Funaho had remained on Earth while Tenchi and his family headed to Jurai to assume control of the Throne and hopefully quell the Civil War before it turned into the first Galactic War in millennia. "Can't we get a break?"

"Apparently not," commented Funaho. "We just got word from Seina, the _Prometheus_ is missing and presumed to not be in this dimension."

"There goes the neighborhood," quipped Junior before turning serious. "We're as ready as we can be planet-side for any type of assault. The refugees are entering the atmosphere and landing all over the globe. The Marines are keeping our guests confined to their transports until we can sort this mess out." While the defected Queens were in on the decision making process, they weren't the ones with the final say. As Seina was currently dealing with a rowdy fight in space that dubious honor fell to the elder children of the Saotome Family.

"Planetary shields are not yet operational," added Hairbrush, "The shield systems around the turrets and anti-ship batteries are functional though."

"Incoming!" screamed out Ranko. She had been drafted into service upon the suspicion that their parents were on the road again. Her job had been to watch the plotter in case the enemy decided their nifty Jump Drive would be a good way to attack the planet. When they did, all she had to do was smack the clichéd red button to sound the air raid sirens and activate the ground defenses.

Screams of fright echoed through the Nerima Ruins as the civilians ran for the newly constructed shelters. Those in the Command Center knew that the scene was repeating itself across the planet.

It was a cloudless night, the first in a great while. The stars and orbital firefight were easy to see, as was the radiation surge from a Cylon Basestar jumping just outside the atmosphere. Even as the Raiders launched the skies were lit with the fire from the ground below. Everything opened up at once, the laser rounds like tracers in the night.

The Cylons knew their plan had backfired when they discovered the shields that surrounded the ground-based turrets. The anti-ship batteries were eating the Basestar with a vengeance, debris raining down to the now empty streets below. They had become desperate, a rare feat for a machine and decided that a nuclear attack would be a good idea. As the missiles launched they were again surprised as a ground based point defense system came to life.

"Arm the torpedo launchers," ordered Junior, his eyes narrowed in anger that somebody had dared to attempt another orbital bombardment. "One transphasic special to go."

Those on the ground had little way of knowing that their battle was being watched by those still fighting in orbit. So when the green-tinted torpedo was launched the Cylons paused. So far all they had encountered were red and silver colored missiles and were curious what these green ones would do.

**_-(_Tsunami's Sister_, Battlefield between the moon and Mars)-_**

"Shit, there goes our ace in the hole," swore Amane as the lone Basestar in high orbit was vaporized by the transphasic torpedo launched from the planet. They could see the turrets still firing at the Raiders in the atmosphere as they attempted a retreat. "The point defense system on Earth seems to work well, at least according to Funaho."

"Doesn't matter now," stressed Seina. "Order all vessels weapons free, no restrictions on targets."

"_Would somebody please listen to me?_" screamed Baltar again, this time from an unarmed transport. "_Stop shooting at us, we've no weapons!_"

"And I should accommodate you, why?" challenged Seina again, getting rubbed seven degrees of the wrong way by the loud-mouthed human defector.

"_Because of the child Hera! If nothing else, would you at least let us give her to you before we're executed?_" came the desperate response. While his wives watched, waiting for an answer Seina scowled. Something that the women in his life had learned was a BAD thing, especially in the middle of a firefight.

"You wish to surrender a child to us? Fine," Seina declared, his voice raised in anger that a child was even involved. "Set course for the nearest Super Star Destroyer, heave-to and prepare to be boarded!"

"The _Demolition_ is en route to your location," chimed in Kiriko. "You can't miss her. Come in on heading one-zero-three mark two-two and cut engines at five thousand kilometers. They'll do the rest."

"_Thank you, thank you, thank you!_" chanted Baltar before the line was terminated by a now irate Seina.

"Son of a bitch, I hate it when people pull this shit involving innocent children in a goddamned firefight as a bargaining chip," he ranted, a rare feat indeed. The memory of Kasumi's loss was fresh in his mind, especially considering she had come to him shortly before that ill-fated mission with a favor . . . that he would look after them, and Ranma himself, if anything happened to her.

"Here we go again," whispered Neju to the other wives. The death of Kasumi's children had hit Seina almost as hard as the biological parents. He had withdrawn into himself for months, at least when the situation didn't take his mind off of the issue.

"Damn it Ranma, where are you?" muttered Seina, wanting out of the situation. Of course he had no way of knowing just what kind of chaos the Saotome family was up to.

**_-(_Prometheus, _on the road again; Universe E; day fifteen)-_**

"At least we have main power again," quipped Ranma in the shared quarters. He had gone into Engineering to pester the crews about it, only to have to lend a hand getting the freshly installed core up and running.

"This universe is seven degrees of weird," commented Kasumi, reading the data on a PADD and launching the briefing from next to a view-port. "One again we find ourselves in the middle of a galactic conflict, but this time one of the sides is Earth. It's like a giant chess game that constantly stalemates, Earth wins some decisive battles then loses just as many. Most of the population doesn't even know what's going on."

"Their internet is quite similar to ours," added Nabiki from one of the recliners, "Once I got into the defense mainframes I located a classified project in the North American Rocky Mountains, Colorado to be exact. There is very little in the way of a paper trail, just the personnel stationed there along with the project designation Stargate. This whole planet is so similar to ours it's not even funny. Even the maps match. Very creepy."

"That ship that launched from Nevada has a decent sensor package," chimed in Ukyo from her spot on the couch. "They apparently can't see our engine exhaust trail or through solid objects however, as they are in a geo-synchronous orbit and holding station."

"It looks like they're waiting for something," said Xian as she sat beside Ukyo.

"Repairs are as complete as they're going to get outside of dry-dock," reported Karin as she reclined in the other available chair. "Weapons, shields and the cloak work. However, the Multi Vector Assault mode is fried with the damaged received to the stardrive section."

"I want to go home and sleep," complained Urd from the other side of Ukyo, taking the third and final spot on the couch.

"Non, I just hope everything is quiet at home," stated Peorth, while subtly looking at Hild as they both stood side by side.

"Hey, don't give me that," protested the Demon Queen. "I left standing orders for the armies of Hell to stay put and make no move without my express permission. I won't make the same mistake twice."

"Enough," deadpanned Taki as she propped herself up on the desk. "We either have to find our way back or wait for a rescue. Then we can squabble like children."

The conversation died at that point, the females present looking to Ranma as if he alone had the answers to their problems. Instead of rising to their bait and getting involved in the current quagmire, he opted to take a sonic shower.

Just as he reached the bathroom, the alert klaxon sounded and the communication line came to life. "_Admirals, sensors have detected three ships inbound to the planet at hypervelocity, and the defense grid just went to maximum alert status_."

"We'll be right up," barked Ranma, a look of irritation on his face. Why is it that every time he wants to take a decent shower he gets interrupted by one thing or another?

On the bridge, the lift doors opened and admitted the leaders onto the deck. Several Second and full Lieutenants vacated specific posts as the Admirals preferred a more 'hands-on' approach.

"All right, what kind of havoc is about to be unleashed now?" demanded Ranma, not having to give out orders to have the ship ready weapons and shields as that was already accomplished.

"Those inbound vessels are not friendlies," Kasumi said from tactical as she read the sensor data. "They're coming in weapons hot and shields charged to maximum."

"Another launch from Nevada, along with several more hypervelocity approaches," added Ukyo from a science station. "The second inbound group is of a much different design, also coming in locked and loaded."

On the viewer, the space in high Earth orbit over North America suddenly became very crowded. The ship that came up from the planet looked much like the first, a very boxy-looking paintbrush with a command tower set on the port side. Their apparent allies came out of hyperspace and took up a defensive posture, the flying pyramids looking lethal with the added weapons platforms melded to the four 'sides', while the rest were a smattering of standard looking frigates and destroyers.

Then the enemy appeared, and Ranma couldn't help himself.

"What is it with the bad guys insisting on flying doughnuts?" he joked with a straight face.

"Looks more like a class ring to me," answered Kasumi, triggering a memory within the head of Ranma. Before she really understood what was happening an object sailed trough the air at her, that she caught with no effort. "Kasumi Tendo, Class of 1991, Furinkan High Valedictorian? My word, I haven't seen this ring in ages. Where did you find it?"

"It fell from the sky," was the enigmatic response, one that made Kasumi close her eyes and left out a sigh of frustration. "We'll talk about it later, right now it seems like a fight is about to erupt and I have no popcorn."

Sure enough, as soon as the words left his mouth the flying rings (doughnuts, whatever) opened fire and showed to the Saotome Family that the defenders were severely outgunned. Everything that they threw at the white ships the shields absorbed with ease, illuminating the fact that Ranma had ordered the same thing in the brief war with Jurai.

"_This is the USAF _Mercury_ to any combat capable vessels near Earth, requesting immediate assistance. We're under attack by the Ori, repeat we are under attack!_"

"Slip us in close, let's see how good this universe is with their technology," stated Ranma to Karin as she manipulated the helm.

"Not that good if they can't see a cloaked ship that is damaged," deadpanned Urd, her eagle-eyes scanning the battlefield for any sign that they had been spotted.

"Are the pulse phasers installed and operational?" wondered Peorth, her quick calculations noting the deficiencies in the shields protecting the doughnuts. The two Earth ships were using a rail gun system, while their allies all had varying degrees of simplified turbo lasers. The enemy used the same for its' base defense while the obvious Superlaser charged from the quick kill.

"Back us off, let's get a run at the port ship," offered Taki, her quick sidebar with Hild having gone unnoticed.

"Let's crash the party and rock this joint," declared Ranma, the thrill of space combat fueling his desire to blow something up.

**_-(Home Universe, Nerima Ruins Command Bunker; day fourteen)-_**

Mass confusion abounded as the firefight came closer and closer to Earth. There had been one waiting in the wings for an opportunity to strike and claim his ultimate revenge . . . and newest training victim.

"Help!" screamed Kato, the tike running full tilt into the command area. All heads turned in his direction at his cry, while the younger children of Ranma burst forth into the room.

"Yuri's gone!" exclaimed Chibi-Mara, crying heavily as she sought out Junior.

"What?" demanded the elder children, trying to make sense of the shouting and crying of their younger kin.

"There's nothing available for a sensor sweep," chimed in Misaki, thinking several steps ahead and querying the plot table. "Everything is tied up with the fighting in progress.

"It was a bald, fat man wearing glasses and a dirty white training gi," Penelope got out around her own tears. "We tried to fight him off, but once he had Yuri he simply vanished."

"_How the hell did he survive?"_ demanded Seina, the communication link established right before the young one had told of their attacker.

"Genma Saotome," ground out Funaho, her rare rage boiling nicely. Having already lost almost all that was cherished, she had latched onto the children of Ranma in an effort to help heal her own bleeding heart.

"There's going to be hell to pay," declared Hairbrush, his eyes showing the anger that burned within his soul.

"_What's the emergency?"_ came the voice of Washu, from the Royal Palace on Jurai. When she was filled in, many had the feeling of a star having just gone nova. _"I'll at the least get a message to them as soon as possible, then I'll work on getting them back."_

In the still considerable debris field that was once Nerima, a prefecture of Tokyo proper, Genma thought he'd finally beaten his son at his own game. Now to build the pit and try again . . .

**_-(Universe E, High Earth Orbit battlefield)-_**

Weapons fire flowed freely as the ships danced around each other. The defenders had learned in a quick order to stay in close and out of the minimum effective range of the main weapon. That and the Ori themselves weren't going to risk one of the three ships they had in this galaxy, not without reinforcements.

It came as a great surprise when a newcomer suddenly appeared from nowhere and attacked the leftmost ship. Ah, a weakness in the shields! Nobody had ever been able to get the drop on an Ori ship, and the reason was now obvious after the newest combatant destroyed the engines with just one pass and minimal firepower, sending it adrift.

As the newest ship to enter the fight came about at frightening speeds, the central Ori vessel lashed out with its' ship-killer weapon. To the immense surprise of those both in the fight and watching, the ship deftly dodged the attack and countered with their own weapons. The Ori ship actually bucked from the impact of the weapons fire slamming against the shields, before three silver-tinted missiles were launched at it. The missiles detonated against the shields, but severely weakened them as they had to absorb an absurd amount of energy that measured terra-joules into the quantum level.

**_-(_Prometheus_)-_**

"Pathetic," deadpanned Ranma as the central ship nearly lost its' shields after the torpedo attack. "They're actually underpowered compared to us."

"They make up for it with weapons," Karin pointed out from the helm. "That's why they simply use that heavy plasma cannon to death, to kill off the enemy before they can penetrate the shields."

"Their aft flank is the most vulnerable as there aren't any shield generators in the area," added Kasumi from tactical. Yes, that's right. Ever since the loss of her children (to the Family) four years ago, she had taken a personal interest in weapons systems and tactical analysis to prevent such a loss from ever affecting them again.

"The next flyby is ready," said Nabiki from navigation. Interstellar travel had become like a hobby to her, and she took great delight in thwarting the many pitfalls it entailed.

"The adrift ship is trying to land," came the voice of Ukyo from one of the few science stations. Instead of watching death and destruction, she'd found that simple analysis of the surrounding battlefield made it bearable. Not to say she had a weak constitution, it was more like a major attack of the conscience.

"Tractor beam is ready," reported Urd from the engineering station. This was an area that fell within her realm, at least partially with the computers being what they were on the ship. She had thought ahead and primed the beam to prevent the landing of the hostile craft.

"Incoming message," suddenly broke in Peorth from the communications and astrophysics interface. Such a great modification to take the uber-long range sensors and the bothersome communications away from tactical, as it freed the operator to concentrate on the task at hand. "I don't believe it, it's from Washu . . . coded eyes only for Ranma and Karin? What?"

"All right, you know what to do. Send the message to the desk in the ready room," stated a confused Ranma as he got out of the center chair. Karin was right behind him instantly as he walked across the bridge, Taki having taken over at the helm. Turns out the ninja loved to fly, especially in combat.

Xian and Hild looked at each other from either side of the 'chair', and mutually decided that where they were was good enough. The battle waged as the _Prometheus_ came around to tractor the ship that had landing thrusters only, preparing to use it as a bludgeon against one of the other vessels.

"**NO!**" suddenly screamed Karin, followed by an equally loud "**SON OF A BITCH!**" from Ranma. All eyes on the bridge turned to the door that led to the ready room, trying to imagine what had earned that type of reaction from the pair.

"Yuri . . .," gasped out Kasumi, the only one that had a very good idea as to the catalyst. Having voiced the thought of the others turned out to be a moot point just moments later.

"**GGEENNMMAA!**" roared Ranma at the heavens, space, hell and all points in-between. That one name spoke volumes to those left behind on the bridge as the ship automatically carried out the inputted commands.

Apparently the door couldn't open fast enough as he came through the obstacle, sending the panels flying into the far wall. Taki and Nabiki had taken cover at the first sign of an enraged male parent, and that action kept their heads attached to their bodies.

Kasumi moved slowly away from the tactical display as Ranma stomped in her direction. Then he paused and turned in the direction of Peorth. She jumped out of the chair, making space for her currently homicidal husband.

"You there, attacking the planet," he ground out after mashing the controls to transmit. "Leave this sector immediately or die. I don't care at the moment . . . in fact, give me justification to blow you out of space!"

The fighting stopped. If the other ships had eyes they would have been blinking owlishly, just like the crews on the respective bridges, at the sudden mood swing from the ship that had just been crippling the Ori vessels.

The response was to be fired upon, to which Ranma grinned evilly. "And now you will die!" he added, before mashing the buttons again and marching straight to tactical. Once there he almost smashed the station into oblivion in a barely controlled fit of rage, punching in a firing solution for the ultimate warhead.

Once again the fighting stopped, this time to watch the three green-tinted missiles head to one target each. The defenders ships would have added bug-eyes to the list of impossible things as these weapons ignored the shields and impacted on the hulls. Then the warhead went to work, and within moments the three Ori vessels, the only ships they had in the Milky Way Galaxy, were destroyed.

Then Ranma collapsed against the station, his rage turning into uncontrollable sorrow. It didn't take long for the females to get the now bawling hysterically pair back to their quarters, hopefully to get some answers.

**_-(Family quarters, thirty minutes later)-_**

Those that were not in the loop yet were baffled. Yes, they had a very good inkling of an idea as to what would set off Ranma like this, and the fact that it included Karin made it even more obvious. The thing that caused confusion is what would trigger such a negative response, other than the fact Genma Saotome was involved in another of his, supposedly, infamously stupid ideas.

Karin had fallen asleep, totally spent by the news that had reached them. One piece of news that did managed to soothe some of the fears was that Washu had a lock on the dimensional transponder that she had insisted be installed into every ship.

Ranma had drifted off, not that it lasted long. He entered, for the first time in thirty-two years by their perspective, 'the Nightmare'.

"Daddy, not the pit again . . .," cried the warrior in his sleep. There was no shame in his displaying of emotions, not after they had gotten the then young man to wake up to reality. There were some things, however, that still disturbed him to the core.

The Neko-Ken being number one on the list.

All breathing stopped, all blood ran cold. There would be one, and only one, reason why Ranma had regressed into the nightmares, and why he was so angry at his biological father. Taki, being the biological oldest (read bravest as the Goddesses and Demon Queen are way older than the human norm) available, even without the time displacement bit, was the one drafted to replay the message now that it had been decoded.

"_Good, I found you!"_ came the cheerful voice of Washu, her facial expression remained happy for all of two seconds before turning deadly serious. _"Ranma, Karin. I am the bearer of bad news. We had an unscheduled visitor and subsequent fight in the Sol system. During this fight, Yuri was abducted from the upper levels of the command bunker. The young ones tried to fight off the abductor, and when that failed they headed directly to their older siblings. Penelope described their attacker as 'a bald, fat man wearing glasses and a dirty white training gi'. Some how, some way, Genma survived the bombing by the Juraian Navy. It was several moments ago that we finally had a satellite free to conduct a sensor sweep when we found the remains of a pit . . ."_

The playback suddenly paused, the conscious wives looking at each other, silently asking if they should finish the rest of the message or if they should leave well enough alone. While they had been distracted, Ranma had moved from the couch to the air mattress that Karin was using, the pair crying in their sleep as their subconscious listened in on the happenings around them.

"_. . . along with the body of Yuri,"_ continued the playback, to which they instantly regretted hearing. _"Seina and his family are searching for him now, however they are still contending with an invasion while Tenchi and ourselves are on Jurai cleaning up the vacuum mess created when Azusa died. I'm working on getting you home, so just sit tight a while longer. There is a recovery team en route to the location, hopefully not heading there for a fatality."_

"POPS!" shouted Ranma as he bolted upright from his nightmares, looking about wildly before remembering where he was.

**_-(Home Universe, _Tsunami's Sister_)-_**

"These Cylons sure are persistent," said Amane as the three hundred eighty-second Basestar jumped into the Sol system. Even though they were outgunned, the race of machines refused to yield to the superior force.

"Has _Kimiko_ made it to the docks yet?" questioned Kiriko. She had been occupied with the planetary scans and hadn't had the opportunity to look for herself.

"She's there and they're almost done extracting her from the side of _Galactica_," answered Ryoko, as it had been delegated to her to keep track of all traffic is the system at present.

"The _Demolition_ has taken the Cylon transport ship aboard, no resistance from any of the passengers and the child is in our custody in the Infirmary," reported Neju. "She's turning to retreat to the docks now."

"Washu just sent a message," chimed in Seina, never being one to sit back and let somebody else overwork themselves. "It reads: '_Contact made. Expected reaction. Be advised time to gate completion unknown. _Prometheus_ damaged, no warp drive_'. Great, so they can't form the necessary warp bubble for the normal means to work."

"Every combat ready ship is in system," said Amane. "Our defense grid is at one hundred percent. Even the 'Jump Drive' whatever won't work now that the _Interdictor_-class frigates have saturated the system with gravity." That last bit was true, while the safeties in the drives would let a ship jump out of a gravity well, it outright refused to let one jump in.

"I've informed _Galactica_ about the child and her present condition," added Seina. "They send their gratitude and thanks for the 'not spacing' of the mouth Baltar. Although they do demand to know why we haven't spaced the half dozen Cylon human forms."

On the outer perimeter of the Earth defense grid, the battle raged on. Ships died on both sides, another would take its' place and repeat. It was tedious, and getting old fast. Every time the Cylons grouped together for a run, the Terran Republic would make them pay for it in spades as the _Eclipse_ would blow the formation, and at least four ships, apart. With the repair facility being right there, if a ship accumulated too much damage all they had to do was fall back for a quick repair job, hopefully long before the ship died, and back out they went. The Cylons had gotten close enough for another attempt at a long range shot at the planet, not caring if this was Earth or not. Humans were humans and they all had to die, as was the basic command written into their program code.

Turned out to be a bad idea as either the point defense onboard _Colorado_ or the ground would always intercept the nuclear tipped missiles. Except for one, that the Cylons had experimented with thinking that the engines gave away the location of the weapon. The only problem with that was that there was no way to control the descent in the atmosphere, meaning the missile was going to go down _SOMEWHERE_.

For those on the planet, it was a good thing that the nuke was so far off course that it came down in the Pacific, forty miles from the nearest human. For the Cylons, the mushroom cloud turned into their death herald as the humans guarding the system turned extremely violent.

"What the hell?" demanded Ryoko as the nuke went off over the drink.

"That was far enough away that even the radioactive particles now in the jet stream won't affect but a few of the population," said Kiriko, her fingers performing their dance on her keyboard as she sent orders to the ground to evacuate.

"The _Kimiko _and the _Demolition_ are moving in to engage the enemy," reported Amane. She was absolutely giddy with anticipation now, her own fingers flexing from time to time as she restrained herself from firing up the weapons systems at their disposal.

**_-(Battlestar _Galactica, _CIC)-_**

"These guys are good," Adama had to admit it. It was a smooth ride to the dock that they found themselves in. Then their 'taxi' began to back away while one of the energy cables held the old Battlestar in place and kept her from crumbling like paper. Those watching got a really good idea of just how big the ship they had been attached to was as it turned to port to engage the closing enemy.

"I've never seen engine exhaust look like blood," commented Tigh after the monster ship had turned completely around, presenting them with an aft view.

"The power plant in that ship must be enormous," said Roslin as her mind had difficulty wrapping itself around the concept of the power requirements of that behemoth.

"By the Gods," choked out Gaeta. "Nuclear detonation on the planet!"

"Where?" demanded Adama, his eyes never leaving the DRADIS display over the pit. As he watched, the home fleet stopped 'playing nice' with the Toasters.

"Remind me to _never ever_ piss these people off," came from an unexpected source in the form of President Roslin. Her commentary had been just seconds in front of Tigh with his usual sarcasm and wit.

"The nuke went off over an ocean," reported Lieutenant Gaeta, the whole banter having taken no more than seven seconds. "The particles in the atmosphere are moving toward land, however it is being evacuated and casualties should be light."

"Oh frak me," deadpanned the Admiral three seconds after that. On the monitor he was watching like a hawk, the dots representing the Cylon Basestars were disappearing at an insane rate. His remark had silenced the CIC as, if the Admiral was supremely worried, if not even _SCARED_, about the situation then they should be too.

The Terran Republic, dubbed so by the galaxy at large (and sounding SO much better than the Earth Forces slogan), was in a blood frenzy. Just that one nuke had apparently unlocked the rage within, not a good proposition for the Cylons. The ships that had been simply wandering about at random, taking shots at targets of opportunity, suddenly formed into a solid wall. Then the green missiles reappeared, and the Basestars dropped like flies.

On the ground, the medical team had finally picked their way through the remaining debris field to the location of the pit and Yuri . . .

**_-(Family Quarters, _Prometheus_)-_**

Ranma was mad. Not just at his father and the fact that he hadn't killed him when he had the chance, but at himself for not being there to protect his children. That, and the hard work of his 'brood' was undone in a single event.

One thing that really irked him was that Genma had _started_ with the Neko-Ken this time, without going through the body conditioning. Something was really wrong with the man, as it seemed that he wanted to surpass Happosai with the sheer stupidity of the training.

As he sat next to the trembling in her sleep Karin, the door chime sounded. Hild answered, having been closest to the door at the time.

"What do you want?" she demanded, none of her previous pleasantness (for a Demon Queen anyway) present.

"We keep getting bombarded with hails," said the Ensign that had drawn the short fiber-optic wire. She was a young one for the clones, no older than Ranko. Her features were a surprisingly attractive mish-mash from several of the Family women. "Even though we cloaked, they finally figured it out to look for the slight plasma leak we haven't been able to repair yet."

"Great," mumbled Taki as she entered the conversation. "What exactly do they want?"

"Other than the usual 'who are you' and 'nice weapons, can we have some' spiels," added the Demon Queen. She had noticed that the Ensign really didn't want to be disturbing the Family during their grieving and general attempts to pull themselves back together and had curbed some of her icy tone.

"Well, they do insist on knowing our intentions," conceded the young woman in front of the pair, slightly fidgeting and not making eye contact. "We have another message from Washu in the queue for Admirals Ranma and Karin to view (couldn't help it, had to make a rhyme)."

"Really, well why didn't you say so?" came the voice of their leader as he stepped between the two at the door. "At any rate, you've done your task. Dismissed, and tell the others no more of this short straw shit."

"Yes sir," the Ensign nearly fell over herself in her haste to get away from the Family as they were still highly unstable.

Not wasting any time he moved over to the viewer and keyed up the message.

"_Great news you two!_" boomed the voice of Washu, the volume entirely too high causing the decorative bowl of fake fruit to vibrate across the coffee table. The also had the effects of creating blown back hair and waking Karin up. Once the volume was lowered the playback continued. "_Yuri is ALIVE! Injured like nobody's business, but alive! Also, I'm bringing you home, so do avoid any contact with the natives and do NOT blow something up, it'll attract too much attention. Hang in there just a little longer!_"

"YES!" shouted everybody in the room, the second half of the message already forgotten. This was a joyous occasion, champagne and finger food being passed around. Karin was crying again, this time tears of joy at knowing that her little boy was still with the living and was waiting for her to return. While the wives celebrated, Ranma took a moment to call the bridge and arrange a ship wide announcement.

"All hands, prepare for dimensional travel. Yellow alert and decloak the ship."

No sooner had the _Prometheus_ reappeared, right where those that had been bombarding the area with messages knew she was, an artificial tear in the space-time continuum opened up. The ship began to transition through, which blinded the sensors to the fact that one of the funky-looking paint brushes was following closely behind, the name _Daedalus_ on the bow . . .

**_-(Home Universe, day fifteen; TIME RESYNCRONIZED)-_**

"Seina, there is a dimensional rift opening up twenty thousand kilometers away on the port side, twelve degrees off of the bow," reported Kiriko after her station bleeped at her. The battle with the Cylons was still raging, however the Republic loses had dwindled to almost zero as the enemy reinforcements had to crawl at sublight speeds into the system.

"About time," remarked Captain Yamada as he listened in on the fighter pilots that were having a field day with the Raiders.

"_Starbuck, break off. I'm reading violent turbulence in the atmosphere of that gas giant,_" came from the speaker, the voice belonging to Apollo. "_Do you hear me? Break off! Starbuck! Break off! Damn it Kara, answer me! BREAK OFF!_"

"Where are they?" demanded Amane, her eyes scanning the enlarged battlefield view on the plotter for the icons of the two Viper pilots.

"Jupiter, near the super-storm in the northern hemisphere," answered Neju. "Wind velocities in the Giant Red Spot in excess of five hundred miles per hour at the moment but are fluctuating plus-minus one hundred. They've entered the upper atmosphere and are quickly approaching crush depth."

"_Gods damn it Kara, pull up! Can you hear me? I've lost you on DRADIS and am blind! Starbuck, pull up! Where the frak are you? Talk to me!_" screamed Apollo, the desperation in his voice catching the attention of everybody that was listening.

"_Lee, I'm no longer afraid,_" was the answer.

"_NO! KARA! GODS NO!_"

"_Apollo, Galactica Actual. We're sending in the rescue birds, pull out_," came the voice of Admiral Adama, his own voice sounding strained.

"_No dad, it's no good. Her ship's in pieces. We've lost her,_" said an emotionally overloaded Lee as he pulled up and out of the gas giant.

"_Somebody want to tell me what the shit is going on in my back yard?_" suddenly demanded the voice of Ranma, having caught the radio chatter and noticing the weapons fire in the area.

"Glad to see you too," deadpanned Seina, "Up here is contained for now, we know you have somewhere else to be."

"_Right, and would you like to explain the _Eclipse_ now or later also?_" queried Nabiki, her tone indicating her displeasure.

"I did what I had to," declared Captain Yamada. "The system was in chaos with the new arrivals when we were attacked. I used it as one of the many tools at my disposal."

"_Right. Well, new orders to the fleet. Space the occupants of whomever shoots at us and commandeer their vessels,_" barked an unhappy Ranma.

"Does that include your tailgater?" wondered Ryoko, for once beating Amane in spotting something.

"_Shit,_" was the simply put but not so elegant response from Ukyo. "_Somebody call Washu, we have a problem._"

**_-(Day sixteen)-_**

Ranma and Karin had been left alone to visit with Yuri in the recovery ward of the hospital in the command bunker. Even the elder children stayed out of their time together, each finding comfort with their mothers. The night had been rough on everybody as the mood onboard _Galactica_ had soured tenfold. Then there was the surprise in the form of the _Daedalus_, now stuck far away from home with a fairly pissed off command crew. On top of that was the sudden and unexplained surrender of the Cylons that took place before the first ship was 'vacated' rather forcefully, which meant that there were now over a million, all that remained of the race, prisoners to deal with.

Then there were the refugees on the planets' surface, getting impatient to leave their ships and enjoy a breathable atmosphere that had a good climate. Formal introductions had yet to be made, let alone inoculations and vaccinations against diseases that neither side had ever been exposed to. The same went for the _Daedalus_, even though that crew was more inclined to sit at the entry point to this dimension and pout.

Having left Karin with Yuri and finished breakfast along with the morning workout, Ranma beamed aboard the _Prometheus_ to begin the attempt to sort the mess out.

"Hail the _Galactica,_" he said as soon as he entered the bridge. The rest of the wives were planet-side while Seina and his entourage were in the midst of preparing the massive report that he wanted to explain the situation before they left for the Galaxy Police.

"_This is Captain Agathon_," came an immediate reply, which surprised Ranma. "_How can I help you_?"

"I need to speak to the Admiral and the President," he evenly stated. "Admiral Ranma Saotome calling."

"_Sir, I do apologize. Our times must be backwards, we are in the midst of the overnight shift,_" was the reply to the not so subtle demand.

"I'm not in the mood. Wake them, shake them, bake them. I don't really care, but they will call me ASAP. Understood?" ground out the leader of the Republic Military.

"_Yes sir_," was said sharply, as if the man on the other end of the line was having to restrain a great amount of anger.

While Ranma waited, he reviewed the other situations. The Cylons were behaving, insofar as the human forms. The Centurions had been recycled as reparation for the lost Republic vessels. The engineering crews were having a field day with the gelatin-like computer interfaces, seeing how such a link between mind and machine would improve response times.

On the ground, reconstruction from the Juraian Massacre was progressing nicely. The industrial replicators were manufacturing parts for the machinery needed to build a wide variety of the conveniences in life like roads, buildings, power plants, water pumps, water reclamation plants and whatever else was so desired. Construction crews were following the blueprints from the designers, either rebuilding things to pre-attack condition or erecting something completely new. On the plains of several countries, portable airlocks had finally been built to allow the refugees to leave their ships and receive whatever medical treatments they needed including the vaccinations.

"Hail the _Daedalus_," he suddenly barked, nearly forgetting about them as they had been so quiet. He figured it would take the leaders of the Colonies some time to get their act together, even though a three-way conference call would shorten the amount of time it took to get everybody up to speed.

"_It's about time_," deadpanned a soft yet gruffy voice. "_If you'd done this earlier, we wouldn't be here. This is Brigadier General Jack O'Neil, supposed to be retired but in command of the USAF _Daedalus._ To whom am I speaking with_?"

"The name's Ranma, the attitude isn't going to get you anywhere, and you shouldn't have stuck your nose where it doesn't belong," he shot back, seven degrees of irritated at the tone the other man was taking with him. "I'm in charge of the fleet around you, as well as a fairly large army based on two planets. Now, explain to me _why_ you followed us."

"Incoming hail from the _Galactica_," spoke up the Lieutenant on communications.

"Put them on three way conference," he ordered.

"_This is Admiral Adama, President Roslin will be with us shortly. Now, care to explain why this couldn't wait_?"

Before Ranma could speak, the lift doors opened to reveal his wives. Although he had to keep on extra eye on Kasumi as she seemed depressed. "Wait one, I need to move to the conference room." Once the entourage was seated around the table, the link was reactivated.

"This is an informal first contact. Admiral Adama, General O'Neil, welcome to the Sol system, the heart of the Terran Republic," started Nabiki, the negotiator. "My name is Nabiki Saotome, Admiral of the Terran Navy and contact negotiations. We're calling to arrange a meeting onboard one of our vessels."

"_Now you wait just a minute, how are we supposed to go back_?" demanded O'Neil, his desire to be fishing and eating a nice cake overwhelming his judgment.

"Until Washu Hakubi, a close confidant and brightest mind in any universe arrives from Jurai Prime with her family, you're in our dimension for the duration," answered Kasumi. "Nice to speak to you, my name is Kasumi Saotome. Admiral of the Navy and pacifier to grumpy people who are riled up by my sister Nabiki."

"_How goes the treatment of our population_?" came the voice of President Roslin. She had heard about the delay in getting the people off of the ships and was fishing for a plausible answer.

"The treatment is going well, the integration is not," responded Peorth, her voice strained from the arguments she had to deal with from the Colonials about where they were going to settle. "Peorth Saotome, Admiral, logistics and personnel."

"_What about the ships themselves_?" questioned Adama, the odd pattern of an apparent family running the show beginning to bother him.

"Junk the lot of it is. Most are no longer space worthy, no matter how much work we would attempt to put into them. Urd Saotome, Admiral, computer repair specialist and engineer."

"_Just who is this Washu person we're supposed to be waiting on_?" asked a female voice just before her blunder caught up with her mind. "_Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, lead scientist onboard the _Daedalus."

"She's way smarter than us. Beyond that, you'd have to ask her yourselves. Taki Saotome, Admiral and part time pilot."

The introductions continued along this vein for some time, before a face to face meeting was scheduled to take place in two hours time, although the sheer amount of people that were going to be present moved the location to the forward observatory on the _Kimiko_. Although those on the _Daedalus_ were quick to understand the request for exact coordinates of their persons, those on the _Galactica_ were completely confused.

Once the Family had moved onboard the _Super_-class Star Destroyer (_Galactica_ was screaming on the wireless about how they did it without a shuttle), it didn't take log to get the negotiators from the _Daedalus_ aboard.

Even though the Combat Information Center on _Galactica_ was at the very core of the ship, putting it under many layers of armor, the transporters had little difficulty with obtaining an accurate lock on those that would be speaking for the Colonial people.

**_-(Onboard TRN _Kimiko_; high Earth orbit)-_**

The Family was waiting in the forward observatory when the chime of a transporter made itself known. The delegation from the _Daedalus_ was the first to arrive, not at all looking surprised by the method of transit. There were five people total, three men and two women. All were dressed in a military coverall, although one of the males and one of the females moved like civilians. And something about that female screamed 'watch me or I'll rob you blind'. Another of the males had an odd symbol apparently made out of gold attached to his forehead.

The chime sounded again, this time depositing the delegation from the _Galactica_. They looked panicked by the sudden change of scenery, having been in the CIC on the ancient Battlestar not two seconds ago. This was another of those technological wonders that made people like Adama very nervous, having very little trust in something that was so complicated and apparently easy to hijack with a computer attack. Their group consisted of three men and two women, four of the five in their version of military day uniforms. The fifth was wearing an old but still elegant pant suit.

"Welcome aboard the TRN ship _Kimiko_, I'm Admiral Ranma Saotome," he began after everybody was seated. He was at the head of the elongated table, his wives sitting on his right while both delegations sat on his left. "To open this meeting and formal first contact, I'd like to know why forty thousand people suddenly appeared in this system."

With that as the opening subject, the Colonials told their tale from the point of the first Cylon War to the Cylon Genocide to the events on New Caprica to the current situation. At first they weren't going to admit it, but just before they were 'transported' over to this monstrosity of a ship they changed their minds. So they added on that they were the creators of the Cylons, even though to this day no one had ever figured out what had changed the programming in the artificial intelligences from 'obey' to 'kill'.

"I can tell you this much," chimed in Nabiki, her mind calculating that the addition of the Colonials wasn't going to be too much of a problem, at least space and logistics wise. "The planet below is known by a few names. Some call it Sol III. Some call it Terra. A few radicals have even called it Gaia. Those of us that grew up on the surface call it Earth."

"We found Earth?" gasped out President Roslin, her eyes as big as dinner plates. She looked at those in her party and could see the similar looks of disbelief on their faces. "Does any of our population know about this yet?"

"No ma'am," answered Ukyo. "Our Marines on the surface have informed us that they are happy just to be off of those God-awful ships. Some have made passing inquires to their location, but most are too busy enjoying a newfound freedom."

"That opens up the subject of our other 'guests'," stated Xian, her name being butchered by the visitors to sound like it had in the past. "Even though they are machines, they are sentient. We haven't spaced the lot because they surrendered on their own. We've recycled their Centurions for the alloys in their construction, but the human forms do have rights under Republic, and by proxy, Galactic Law. Not to mention that Baltar, can't forget about 'never shuts up' Baltar."

"I have an offer for you to consider," chimed in Nabiki. "We now have half of the story concerning the artificial intelligences. What I propose is that we get the other half from one of the human forms, and from there we put them along with Baltar on trial for Genocide. We are unbiased, simply because we don't have the full story and we've never encountered a situation such as this. You could prosecute, while one of the lawyers from Earth would defend in the interests of fairness."

"We'll have to weigh our options," retorted Adama, his tone indicating exactly what he thought of the proposal. "Onto the next topic, what are you going to do with us?"

"What do you mean?" asked Urd, her link to Yggdrasil active as she searched for more information on the Colonials, along with their 'personnel' files.

"What the Admiral is inferring to is us career military folk," spoke up Lee for the first time since the loss of Starbuck. "We'd have no idea on how to operate any of your technology, and our ship plus the fighters she carries are simply too old to even be retrofitted for continued service."

"We'll set that aside for now," spoke up Kasumi, her voice soothing those that were apprehensive about their fate. "I can see it in the Admiral's eyes that he so desperately wants to retire from his post, to enjoy his remaining days with his family and friends and not have to worry about a combat situation ever again."

"Speaking of retirement," drawled General O'Neil, "I'd like to go so I could enjoy mine. The fish are waiting for me, you know."

"This is where it gets tricky," said Hild. "After some research, we found a similar project on our planet to that of yours. However, they were caught unawares during the Juraian Massacre and the dock in Nevada was destroyed. We could easily open up a slip in the orbital docks for your vessel, but we will not assume that is what you want and do it automatically."

The conference continued on like that for several hours, food having been brought in with a three hour separation between servings.

While the meeting and negotiations were in progress, several of the Colonists wandered away from their 'area' to have a look around. They didn't know it, but they were on the southern outskirts of the Nerima Ruins.

Popping out from the vegetation, they heard something big moving about. Then they heard what sounded like two of the something's, before spotting the source of the noise.

Running back to the tent city that was erected for temporary shelter, they relayed what they had seen. As word of mouth spread, the paranoia from the Cylon Genocide overrode reason and a riot ensued.

The Colonials had stumbled across Evangelion Units Sero and One as they continued their task of acting as construction droids. Little did they know that not only had they been spotted, but several of the more amorous Colonists had overpowered their 'guards' and stolen their weaponry . . .

TBC

And there it is, an update. Rejoice, but do be nice to me. Work changed my shift and I'm now exhausted by the time the weekend rolls around. Anyway, part fifteen is now officially in the books! I'm also tinkering with a darkfic, mostly designed to take a potshot at another author that goes by the name 'SgtRanma', as well as to throw my hat into the ring with the recent outbreak of darkfics. It should be out whenever I finish it.

Until next we meet, Ja!


End file.
